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GoGo Yubari Ranks the James Bond Themes (Except the Main One)


GoGo Yubari

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YUP. Y'all are debating it in the Census and I have decided to make a list ranking them. This is the objective, correct list because my opinions are always right. Deal. (And discuss, and state your lists and maybe do full ones if you want once I'm finished or WHATEVER. But mine will be the best.)

It's going to be a countdown of the 22 Bond themes in the wake of Dr. No. I'm not counting the original Bond theme because that's not even fair. You don't count that. And I'm not including anything from any movie not in the official series. Apologies to the 0 Never Say Never Again fans on EWB.

Now, to the worst Bond theme of all time!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-_-pX7bIO0

22. "All Time High" by Rita Coolidge (from Octopussy)

Ha! You thought it was going to be Madonna, didn't you? YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE MADONNA! Most likely because you forgot that this theme even existed. I know I did; I bought a CD of all the Bond themes when I was a kid (and repurchased it last year at a sale), and I don't think "All Time High" was on there. This is most likely because it is by far the worst Bond theme ever. There are other bad Bond themes, but this is the only one that doesn't even make the slightest effort to even sound like it's supposed to be about either the movie itself (not that I can fully blame someone for not wanting to write a song titled "Octopussy"), or even just a song about a spy. Instead, the further you go in the more it sounds like it should be the theme of an '80s family sitcom. It's basically the end of the period of Bond themes that were love songs sung, presumably, about/to Bond, and no fucking wonder they went straight to Duran Duran after this. This is pretty much the bottom of the barrel as far as that goes.

.

Next Time: Getting rid of the obvious!

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Pfft, Soren, everyone knows the best ever Death Metal band came out of Denton.

Still need to listen to something that isn't The Sunset Tree from them. Pour on the recommendations (by PM, because I think I have hijacked GoGo's thread long enough).

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I'm just gonna preemptively BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and leave this thread to rot.

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It's going to be a countdown of the 22 Bond themes in the wake of Dr. No. I'm not counting the original Bond theme because that's not even fair. You don't count that. And I'm not including anything from any movie not in the official series. Apologies to the 0 Never Say Never Again fans on EWB.

I guess that means the better Casino Royale is out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBXzk5c1eCU

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I will personally stage a riot with my supporters on GoGo's front lawn and leave nasty voice messages if "The World is Not Enough" gets the shaft here :shifty:

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Yeah, no Dusty Springfield.

Okay, let's kill this one off. This one's easy.
































21. "Die Another Day" by Madonna

Yeah. Christ. This one's just comical. Like, "All Time High" is the worst Bond theme because at no point does it even make the slightest attempt to be a song for a Bond movie, and on top of that it's just a bad song. "Die Another Day," on the other hand... well. It tries to be a Bond theme. But it's a really, really, really bad Bond theme. Hamster said to me on FB that it's not as bad as people say but... I mean, I dunno. It's quite bad, and very entrenched in Madonna's awful autotune club music (MIX THE BOURGEOISIE AND THE REBELLLLLL, YEAAAAAAAH) period. At one point she goes "SIGMUND FREUD" and then repeats "ANALYZE THIS" like five times. So bad. Very befitting of the movie its attached to.

Next Time: I'm not 100% on this yet, but I think it's going to be something someone mentioned that they quite like in the census. Oh yeah.

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