I found out a year ago that my dad was signed off work with clinical depression. He'd been suffering for a year before but parents hadn't really told me as I was in Japan etc.
He's been getting better and we moved in with them when we got back to England as upstairs there's a bedroom/small bedroom attached which we could have as a mini flat really while we were looking for work and therefore getting ourself set to rent/buy.
Anyway he tends to vanish off out without much warning on some nights (mum can generally tell when he will) and he got a bit drunk the other week (he's not supposed to drink now but vanished out and obviously had a few) and got morose and a bit mouthy towards me.
My brother (who is younger but 6'5" and built like a tank) stays some nights because he WAS sleeping here before we moved back as he's getting married in the summer and will then move in with his wife. My mum has kind of kept him away a little to avoid dad bringing him down.
Anyway my dad was weird last night, but then we watched the Spurs game and he was kinda happy. After that he went out though. At 12.44 at night I went through to the lounge to speak to mum who said it was the longest he'd been out. She was going to wait up but told me to go to bed so I did. Woke up at 2am to hear him drunkenly whinging on downstairs and then crying in the bathroom with mum, in between telling her how everything is her fault. My wife went down to use the loo (separate room to bathroom) and heard them. She came back upstairs and we had a cuddle to calm down a bit.
This morning she went out with my daughter to see a friend in London (thankfully). Dad went out and rocked back in at 11.30am. They were suppsoed to have friends over at 12 and he was supposed to prepare lunch. He'd been smoking (quit when I was tiny) and back to screeching, swearing (he never swears, I've never heard him before in my life), crying, having a go at mum and making kinda scary sounds. I'm upstairs in our bedroom. I was going to go to Canterbury but told mum I'd hang around just in case. She says he never hurts her, just gets very angry at her, hates himself etc. She's called some useless psycho guys that she can call when he has a day like this and they come round to have a chat. They don't do much good apparently. She just came in to tell me that she just hopes he goes to bed. At least it's raining so it's unlikely he'll go out again today.
So, as much as I love my mum, as much as I want to protect her, stay with her, keep an eye on her just in case, I've only got two people I have responsibilities towards so I'm about to message my wife to tell her to go straight to her parents (same town as mine) and I'll take bags over and we'll stay there the night/two nights. Yeah he's never gotten physical but the atmosphere is poison. He's not my responsibility. My mum wouldn't want me to take a responsibility either. Up until now my family life has always been wonderful. I've read about everyone else and felt sadness and pity but never experienced it myself and it's brutal. Mental health treatment is useless in this country. There's no support and they don't have spaces to take him in for a while.
I know a number of you guys have depression or similar issues/problems/illnesses. I read about how bad it is for you and it sounds terrible, especially as it's not anything you asked for, wanted or expected. Life can be massively unfair. However it's made him selfish, self-centred, full of spite, petty-mindedness, anger and he's no longer who I know as my father. It's NOT my responsibility to be all supportive and loving of him when I've got my wife and baby daughter to protect. My mum has been worn down by him and yet still loves him as she remembers who he was. He's pushed their friends away, makes it harder for her to have people round, gets worse when she has to do an extra day at work (he's not allowed to claim any money ridiculously) and as she's on £490 a month, she earns more than the £120 or whatever a week that the government things a couple can live on.
So, yeah, add me to the list of folk who have bored you with such nonsense.