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GRIFT

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Status Updates posted by GRIFT

  1. Finally back from getting that "pack of cigarettes", son.

    1. MalaCloudy Black

      MalaCloudy Black

      I forgive you, COOL DAD

    2. LL!

      LL!

      Did you leave again? 😭

  2. Oh, so this is where I left my keys.

    1. MalaCloudy Black

      MalaCloudy Black

      I'm stealing them so you can't leave again.

  3. Donovan Dijak taught me how to run the ropes tonight. Life is pretty weird.

    1. Azazel

      Azazel

      Have a giant bruise on the right side of your back today?

    2. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      Actually, no -- which is weird! I am definitely sore from it at the bottom of my lats and a bit on my hip, but no bruising which was weird because the other new guy had a nasty bruise showing at the end of practice. I took to the ropes a lot quicker than he did, but standing up straight in a collar and elbow gave me a bit of trouble. It is so trained into me to try and get a wider stance so I can drive my hips from a low point for a throw or to take a leg in that situation that it will take some time for me to mentally retrain that instinct.

  4. So I am uh, starting pro-wrestling school today.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Just Joe

      Just Joe

      What he really means is that he's on a new TV show where he's in the same class at school as Hulk Hogan, The Iron Sheik, Bob Backlund, Who, Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Nathan Jones.

    3. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      @9 to 5 --The New England Academy of Pro-Wrestling which used to be Killer Kowalski's.

      I've always really wanted to get into a ring. As you might have guessed from the fact that I've been posting on a wrestling board for over ten years, I love pro-wrestling. When I was a kid, winter in Maine was my favorite time because my brother Dean and I could use the deep snow to powerbomb each other and hit superplexes off our post and beam fences without fear of serious injury. We set up our dad's old VHS tape recorder on a tripod in 4 feet of snow and had some of the worst matches in history. In our heads though, we were on our way to being our generations Steiners or Hardys -- the great brother and brother tag team, brother.

      We had big designs on getting into wrestling while we were in college but life threw us some curve balls. Long time posters will know that during our last couple of years of school our kid sister got cancer which lead to Dean joining the army and me dropping out of college to get a job and help pay for her chemo. When she finally pulled through and Dean got out of the army and we started talking about wrestling again, my brother Dean unexpectedly passed away.

      That really fucked with me. Most of my hard drinking stories and travelling happened in the years that followed and my body took a bit of beating as a result. I kind of came unmoored and while I was doing well professionally I let myself go quite a bit and closed off emotionally. Then a funny thing happened. April 6th, 2014. Wrestlemania 30. I didn't realize it until the event was over, but it had taken place exactly 4 years to the day that Dean died. I was overwhelmed with a lot of feelings -- mostly one of guilt. While I had done well for myself professionally, and traveled far and wide trying to live a big enough life for the both of us, I had ballooned up in weight and spent most of my time day dreaming about what could have been. All those, feelings of "will I look back and wonder what could have been" came creeping in and I felt like I was letting both Deano and myself down. 

      In a lot of ways, that was the moment that set me on the path to today. I set a goal to drop from 240lbs to 180lbs and hit it. Then started working on my wind and building my mass back up to the 200lbs I sit at today. All the while, somewhere in the back of my head, even though I never said it out loud or shared it with anyone, making myself and Dean a promise that if I could get to 200lbs at 15% body fat that I'd at least get in a ring and see if I could make a go of it. For the first time in my life, my body is in the condition to give this a respectable shot and I am free of any obligations that would prevent me from giving this a try. I have two months off before my next job and enough of a bonus from my last campaign win to be able to make the two hour commute to attend every class they offer for the next two months.

      Now, I have no illusions. My experience with sports in college and with fitness have taught me the importance of being realistic and setting incremental goals. From night one, I am probably the oldest member of the class. From here, just showing up for every class and keeping up is success. If I never wrestle a match -- so be it. But I am going to soak in the experience over the next two months and make the most of it.

    4. Pleatherface

      Pleatherface

      You might not know me, but I tend to be overly respectful of those here that I consider to be my betters (for a lack of proper terminology.) and as such I've held you in some regard for basically being the Tom Waits of EWB.

      Now, you may not wish to discuss it here, and you may have already opened a "GRIFT'S Adventures in Wrestling That Make Skummy's Adventures Sad They Can't Be That Adventurous." thread that I've neglected to notice.

      But I have to admit a serious interest in finding out how things go for you, sir. I do hope updates occur.

  5. Big shout out to the dude who I had to kick out of the bar tonight who stood outside and talked shit to me for ten minutes while I was working the door before ending his tirade with, "We shall not meet again." Shine on you crazy diamond.

    1. jrhodes

      jrhodes

      That's a strong exit line, gotta give him that.

  6. My mom invited me out to lunch today. What she neglected to mention was that the lunch was with twenty other women who were here for an all Christian conference called Women of the Word. She also introduced me as being unsaved and asked them all to pray for me.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster

      ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster

      Lunch with 20 women is lunch with 20 women. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

    3. Noah
    4. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      It was tremendously awkward. I ended up posting pictures and documenting the whole mad experience on facebook as it happened. Should have known something was a foot when she asked me to meet her at Olive Garden.

  7. It is fucking snowing again. We are entering, "Nan's scary story to Bran in GOT" levels of winter here.

    1. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      Oh, my sweet summer child, what do you know about fear? Fear is for the winter, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides for years, and children are born and live and die all in darkness. That is the time for fear, my little lord, when the White Walkers move through the woods... Thousands of years ago, there came a night that lasted a generation. Kings froze to death in their castles, same as the shepherds in their huts, and women smothered their...

  8. He picked up a still-smoldering cigarette and took a quick drag. "Woomp," he said softly. "For there it is."

  9. Sooooo... I got stabbed last night.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. 9 to 5

      9 to 5

      A quiet night for a change then Grift?

      Seriously, glad you are alright and your lass is too.

    3. EddieG

      EddieG

      Dude needs to write an autobiography. Glad you're well.

    4. GoGo Yubari

      GoGo Yubari

      holy shit, dude. Glad you're okay.

  10. Anyone playing destiny right now?

  11. Anyone have any suggestions of good things to do in Minneapolis? I am here for one more night and things seem to be tipping towards strip club by default.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      I wound up shooting some pool before stumbling upon Target Field where Paul McCartney was having a concert. It was neat, they served beer just outside the field and you could hear the show perfectly.

    3. Benjamin

      Benjamin

      Seriously, how the fuck does GRIFT have such a cool life? Even by accident cool shit happens to him.

    4. JasonM

      JasonM

      GRIFT is the most interesting man on EWB.

  12. Ah the Christmas viewing of Die Hard -- Reginald Veljohnson is to my childhood what Yukon Cornelius is to most others.

    1. CobraKaiEnTai

      CobraKaiEnTai

      That's the one where he plays a cop right?

    2. EddieG

      EddieG

      I prefer him as Big Mike's cousin.

  13. Not digging the new trend in The Ring where people reword the same two points of argument so we get 3 pages of derivative gruel to wade through... wait... maybe that isn't so new after all.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Sweet Holy Moses

      Sweet Holy Moses

      That's Nathe spelled backwards, Mike!

    3. Draevyn

      Draevyn

      Who's been to jail?

    4. ndqw

      ndqw

      @Sham It's on the first page of the October TNA News thread.

  14. To the gentleman who first referred to childbirth as “going number 3”, a tip of the cap.

  15. Because I only really check my work email I totally missed it, but I was the featured writer on Everydaypoets.com on May 10th. Neato.

  16. Don't watch that Hulk Hogan sex-tape unless you want to contract sexually-transmitted Hulkamania.

    1. Mick

      Mick

      So whacha gonna do, when Hulkamania oozes out of you?!

    2. Hobo

      Hobo

      Too late. I caught it years ago watching Thunder in Paradise.

  17. If Memphis treats me anything like Nashville did, I reckon a blood transfusion might be in order.

  18. Grifter's US tour continues! Boston, done. New York, done. DC, here I come!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      Bunk on all of that. I am hitting Philly with a vengeance.

      And as much as I like Cali I am an East Coast boy through and through.

    3. MNM X Koofi e R-Truth

      MNM X Koofi e R-Truth

      I'm on the West side of PA so it's all farms and cold and shit. Philly is alright though.

    4. LL!

      LL!

      But you've decided to avoid Miami like the plague... Southeast is still the East Coast! :(

  19. About a week away from my 3 month long road trip across the Vast Amerikan Wastes!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. LL!
    3. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      We've been debating whether or not to add it to our trip. I have an ex who tramps it up at the Dixie Roadhouse these days and is beckoning for us to cut that far south.

    4. LL!

      LL!

      Tramp? You don't say. I think I've heard of this "tramp." Is her name Tramp?

  20. If this is real, this guy is my new hero: http://youtu.be/0wv_2efHvx4

    1. Rocky

      Rocky

      He's definitely better than that other "Superhero" from a month or so back.

  21. There seems to be some sort of secret coordinated effort to turn the initially wonderful Degrees of Separation thread to absolute dog shit.

    1. C-MIL

      C-MIL

      You're not a donator, are you?

  22. I hate the bizarre lack of internal communication at the outfit I am working for right now. I just had a forty minute conversation with someone the essentially recapped a briefing I gave AN ENTIRE group of people at 11am. If this person needed this information, why weren't they invited to the meeting? I'll be excited to be done with this contract in December.

    1. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      *that essentially

  23. I think Booker T "forgetting" John Morrison's name and calling him "That Parkour Guy" is actually Book getting in a jab for Morrison not knowing who he was back when he tried out for the first season of Tough Enough.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. GRIFT

      GRIFT

      I really hope none of you thought I was actually serious.

    3. LL!

      LL!

      GRIFTER, forever srs.

    4. Meacon Keaton

      Meacon Keaton

      If you're not serious, then I don't ever want to be right.

  24. Today I learned that when I was born, I was roughly the 4,944,483,094th person alive on this planet, and that I am, again roughly, the 79,815,588,257th person to ever be alive-- but I am pretty sure I am the first person to always carry an old Nintendo controller with me so that when death finally arrives I can counter with the Contra cheat code.

  25. Would have been a lot different if Ziggy had played banjo, jamming good with Beard and Willie, and the Snyders from Nashville.

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