Kyle

Week Two: Man City

If Martin Tyler has a job by the end of the day and hasn't experienced any repercussions, I'm going to be furious. Fuck him.

Week One: Peterborough

Go on then.

Final reminder to join the EWB Fantasy League before next week if you haven't already: https://fantasy.premierleague.com/leagues/auto-join/h22n0q

Been beaten over the head by this song and covers of it for a while now, but I really enjoyed this one.

That's my secret, Cap... I'm always worried.

I hope so, we lost 4-0 to a middling MLS side.

I don't hate next seasons away kit, but there's going to be some uproar from some very insecure men.

FPL is back, same league as the last few seasons so if you've used the same account you'll automatically be in. If not, code is: h22n0q

Deserved suspension, shouldn't be throwing flares at fans.

I'm not crying, you're crying.

Eight euros is a cheap loan fee.

The year is 2028, and I've officially won every top trophy I can at Everton. Prem, Champions League, FA Cup, Carabao Cup, all done. I've accepted the England job and resigned as Everton manager, so let's see if my domestic success can be translated into international success. Spoilers, it will be or I'll die trying.

The man is a cheat code, and I hate it. 32 goals in 20 appearances so far this season is ridiculous.

Real have had a stinker here. They're also the only team not to concede 7 goals in one match to me in this group as well, so that proves to me they've had a howler of a group stage if they've finished behind Rangers.

Just found out that one of my star wonderkids (3.5 CA/4.5 PA) that I signed from Derby County a few seasons ago is a Liverpool fan, so that's him being sold off to the Bulgarian Second League.

I just sat for half an hour making a spreadsheet of how much I've spent on regens/youth players and got disappointed when I realised I'd made a 7m loss over the seven seasons I've played so far. Realised I hadn't taken into account players that I hadn't sold. I'm sitting on over 600m worth of developed regens. Ah. I realise there are probably ways of exporting all of this stuff from the game itself and I didn't need to do it manually, but how else do you spend a Wednesday night?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/61629815 Chelsea's sale has been completed.

I've just checked the FPL final standings, @Brandon Cutler Fan Account gets the wooden spoon. @Stevie B wins the league, and I finish distinctly lower-mid-table after having given up halfway through the season, as is tradition.

39 goals and a 10 point deduction for Burnley would do it for them. Easy, really.

Here we go again.

An Everton fan attacking someone with a child on their person? Never seen anything like that before. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/jun/01/everton-fan-jailed-for-attacking-lyon-player-while-holding-toddler ...ah.

Lol, Slippy G. This joke would be much funnier if Gerrard hadn't left Rangers, I promise.

For the first time in probably my entire FM history, I've gotten to the point where my regens are Premier League quality. Probably doesn't speak volumes for my attention span.