Renaissance Championship Wrestling

[rockyoursox]

My name is Bruce Hawkins. I run Renaissance Championship Wrestling.

Damn, that STILL doesn’t sound right to me. I spent fifteen minutes this morning standing in front of the mirror telling myself that I run my own wrestling federation, and it still sounds like Greek coming off my tongue. When I looked into the mirror, I didn’t see the next Vince McMahon staring back at me. Heck, I didn’t see the next Rob Black staring back at me. I saw a 43 year old man with a gut, a receding hairline, a rumpled and stained dress shirt, and defeat in his eyes. I saw a guy who, in the span of six weeks, had lost his job, his family, his house, and his will to go forward.

It was a long road to how I got here. It wasn’t always so bad. Usually, it was pretty damn good. But things can only stay good for so long.

======================================================

When I was a kid, I was poor. Not trailer park poor or anything, but we weren’t gonna be hitting up the Gilded Truffle or the Ritz anytime soon. Western Massachusetts wasn’t overflowing with millionaires, but it was still clear to me that my parents didn’t have the same things my friends did at their houses. Our black and white TV sufficed, we dined on fried baloney a couple times a week, and our only car spent more time opened up for Dad’s self-taught surgery than out on the roads. It didn’t matter, though. My parents were happy to have each other, and to have their kids. I was one of three children in the family. I had a sister named Lucy who was three years older than me, and a brother eighteen months younger than me named Matthew. Matt and I weren’t quite Irish twins, but we were close enough to make us de facto best friends. We looked out for each other in the neighborhood, and you could usually find the two of us together.

My brother and I were definitely cut from my father’s cloth. He introduced us to almost everything we found important to us. He was our troop leader during Cub Scouts, and graduated to Boy Scouts with us. He signed us up for Little League, forcing us to learn how to catch a ground ball. Six bloody noses later, he smiled on proudly as my brother and I led the Mariners to our league title. He even got us into community theater, which Matt and I ended up enjoying a hell of a lot more than we ever though we would. I’m a Red Sox fan because of him, a Republican because of him, and a Christian in name only because of him. But of all the things my father passed on to me, the one I look upon most fondly was his love for professional wrestling.

I remember him driving me, at the age of 7, to the Boston Garden to see a WWWF show. I don’t remember a ton from the show, but I remember The Shiek beating Bruno Sammartino, the champ at that point, by countout. I was sad that Bruno hadn’t won the match, but I loved him anyways. Sammartino quickly became my favorite from the WWWF, and I tried to find out everything about him. Two years later, my father promised me a trip to New York City, complete with a stop in Madison Square Garden to catch the WWWF event there. On January 18, 1971, my father and I were in attendance as Ivan Koloff defeated Bruno Sammartino to become the WWWF champion. I was devastated. As a Sox fan, I had always had a healthy distaste for the city a couple hundred miles down the road. After the trauma of seeing Sammartino lose the belt, New York had been officially vilified in my eyes.

Despite Bruno losing the belt, I still loved wrestling. I watched it all throughout grade school and high school when I could make it to events. During my senior year of college, the first Wrestlemania occurred, once again in New York City. I watched it at a movie theater that had a feed, and got my first look at the new WWF champion, Hulk Hogan. It was hard not to be impressed by him. My friends and I had the time of our lives watching that PPV, and even though David Sammartino, carrying on his father’s legacy, couldn’t win, I was still happy. The WWF definitely was on the way up, and I was going to enjoy the entertainment.

However, wrestling had competition in my life. Upon graduating from Northwestern with my degree in economics (which I probably had no right to have after the amount of studying I did), I moved to New York City. I had a menial job at a brokerage house, basically doing the grunt work that nobody else was stupid enough to agree to do. Despite this, I was pumped. I was just 40 blocks away from the home of the WWF. And while I found myself going to more shows, I found myself spending more and more time over in Queens at the apartment of a girl who worked in the post office down the block from me. After coming in for stamps three times in a day, she called me on it, and it went from there. Two years later, Ellen and I were married. Ellen was hard-nosed, tenacious, incredibly intelligent, and very popular. Basically, she was everything I wasn’t. And, needless to say, she didn’t like professional wrestling. She couldn’t see the beauty in Savage/Steamboat during Wrestlemania III, yawned when Hogan slamed Andre, and didn’t understand what a big deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan at Wrestlemania VI. Fortunately, by Wrestlemania VI, I had someone new to watch wrestling with.

In 1988, my son Jack was born. I was delighted. My father, who had passed suddenly during my time at Northwestern, had been the single greatest influence on my life. I admired him more than anyone in the world, and I wanted to have the same relationship with my son. It was incredibly thrilling to hold him in my arms, at the tender age of four months, and watch Wrestlemania V with my son. He stopped crying when Rick Rude won the Intercontinental Title, so I assumed Rude was his favorite. From that day on, a picture of Rick Rude sat among his stuffed animals and plastic gizmos.

Jack ended up being our only child, as it put a fairly severe strain on my wife’s health. In fact, it seemed to put a strain on her completely. That tenacity she had suddenly overcame the gentler part of her personality. She was a great mother to Jack, but our marriage cooled as the years went on. I suppose I wasn’t helping anything, though. After years of being stuck in that pointless, dead-end job doing grunt work, I had impressed the right guy at work. I think it mainly stemmed from me giving him the last Danish in the snack room, but whatever it was, I seemed to be a made man in the company after that. I got a massive promotion, being given a couple of fairly important accounts to take care of. When I fell ass-backwards into Oracle stock, which almost immediately went up nine-fold, my reputation was set. Of course, being a made man meant being made a busy man. My work schedule went from 40-45 hours a week to 65-75 hours a week. My wrestling time dried up, as did my time with the family.

While things weren’t great with Ellen, I wasn’t as worried about that as my time with Jack. I had discovered that, for whatever reason, Jack’s relationship with me didn’t have that same hero-worship aspect that my relationship with Dad used to have. Jack seemed dead set on doing everything on his own. He refused to help me teach him how to tie his show, figuring it out on his own after six long weeks of effort and six new pairs of shoelaces, after incidents involving tape, glue, staplers, and fire (I don’t know where he got that last one). When I suggested Little League, he joined a swim team instead. Jack wouldn’t even join Boy Scouts, and I had a sneaking suspicion that I had somehow raised a Clinton voter. Fortunately, Jack was willing to let me into his life for one thing, and one thing only: wrestling.

Jack shared the same love of wrestling that I had, and my father had. We watched it religiously, and after 1993, I made sure my Monday nights were free to watch Monday Night Raw with Jack. He did end up liking Rick Rude, confirming my suspicions, but he also dug The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. I was more of a Bret Hart man, and we had a good time debating who would end up winning those matches. However, even the wrestling grew apart after a while. Around 1997, my job became busier and busier. I tried to get home when I could to watch with Jack, but I had no idea what was going on. The who teamed with Brian Pillman and Ted DiBiase was beating the hell out of Vince McMahon, my favorite play by play man. The Rock, whose father was one of my dad’s favorites, was calling people “roody poos”, whatever that meant. And the Undertaker was a biker, not a deadman. What the hell was this? I barely kept up with it anymore, leaving Jack to fill me in whenever I showed some minor interest. When I bought Summerslam with him in 2001, I was shocked to see WCW running wild, but even that wasn’t enough to make me care anymore.

Work dominated my life now, but it barely dominated my mind. In fact, the only thing that dominated my thoughts was apathy. I didn’t really care about my job anymore. I didn’t see the bursting of the tech bubble coming at all, and a few of my accounts got hosed. Still, they cut me slack, since it was the first time I had ever screwed up. But after that point, I basically put my accounts on autopilot. I spent 70 hours a week in the office, but spent most of my time thinking of whatever would keep me going through the day. When I went home, I vegged out in front of the TV. Ellen and I barely saw each other, and Jack was never home. I later found out he had a girlfriend, and he would go over there to do his homework, and likely more than that. I was proud of him, and disappointed in myself. I missed my son’s first girlfriend. Hell, I never even gave him the talk. Did Ellen do it? Did Jack figure it out himself? If he did, I hope it required less trial and effort than tying his shoes did (and less fire involved to boot).

When I would be sitting lifeless at the office, I started reading. During school, I had ‘minored’ in English, but I could only remember two books I read through four years: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, and Between The Acts by Virginia Woolf. No idea why those two stuck, but they did. I regretted it, though. I started reading Shakespeare, Plath, Twain, Melville, Poe, Defoe, Austen, Frost, and dozens of others. The stacks of books I had finished dwarfed my inbox. I lost myself in the world of great fiction, to the point of ignoring almost everything.

One day, I had to stay home sick. I was pissed about that – despite hating my job, I hadn’t missed a day of work in almost six years. And I had left The Merchant of Venice on my desk. Still, as I brooded at home in front of the television, Jack walked in front of me, heading for the kitchen. I did a quick double-take – It was a Wednesday in the middle of February.

“Jack, why are you here? Why aren’t you at school?”

Jack just glowered at me, before mumbling, “I got suspended” and planting his head back inside the fridge.

“WHAT?” I asked, shocked. “When did this happen?”

“Three days ago” came Jack’s muffled voice from inside the fridge. What was he hunting for, a path to China?

“THREE DAYS? Why didn’t I know about this?” I was shocked that my son, MY SON, had been suspended from school, and neither my wife nor my son felt the need to inform me of this.

“I dunno. Ask mom.”

“You should be telling me these things, Jack!”

Jack exploded out of the fridge, looking furious. “Oh, NOW you care about me, huh? Fine dad, I got suspended for going after a kid who started mocking me. I cracked him in the jaw, put him in a side headlock, and locked in an armbar until three teachers pulled me off. I go back to school on Monday. Now leave me alone for another six months.”

Jack walked off with his turkey sandwich, leaving me with a string of questions. Were there more turkey sandwiches in the fridge? Where the hell did he learn to fight like that? And more importantly, what had happened to my family where I wasn’t told about my own son getting a week’s suspension?

I confronted my wife that night when she got back from wherever the heck she had been. All I knew was that she was there when I got home every night at 8…I just figured she was around the house all day. As Ellen came into the kitchen, a small folder in her hand, I sat up straight in the char I had slouched over in. “So, Jack got suspended?”

She looked over, surprised, but tried to compose herself: “Yes, Jack got in a fight at school. He’ll be back on Monday.”

“Oh, I know,” I replied, my voice dripping with venom. “But I was unaware of this until TODAY. He got suspended three days ago, Ellen! When were you planning on telling me?”

“When were you planning on noticing anything, Bruce?” I tried to interject, but her voice raised to drown mine out. “You’re not here at all, and when you are you’ve got your damn nose buried in a book! You didn’t know about Jack’s girlfriend until they had been dating for six weeks, you missed my birthday last week, and you didn’t even notice me moving your stuff out!”

I was pissed. “Kids like to hide things from their parents, Ellen…wait, moving my stuff out?”

She moved the folder in front of her chest, clutching it tight with both hands like a life jacket. “Yes, Bruce. Moving your stuff out. I’ve had enough of this. This isn’t a relationship, Bruce. It’s a total sham. We haven’t been happy in a long time, and you haven’t been a father or a husband for a long time either. It’s time for this to end. Jack’s going off to college in a year or two, and I want absolutely no part of living alone with you after that.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Yes, I can. I got the papers today, Bruce. Just sign them and I won’t be too hard when we divide the assets.”

“Divide MY assets? None of this is yours!”

“Bullshit it’s not, Bruce! If you’d like, we can go in front of a judge and I can explain that you haven’t been a father to Jack for six years, that we haven’t gone on a vacation, that you didn’t notice everything getting moved out for the last month….you’ll lose, Bruce. Just go along with this, and I’ll let you have first say in what you want to keep.”

I panicked. “I want Jack.”

She seemed caught off-guard by this comment, but regrouped easily, almost smiling after a couple seconds. “That’s absurd, Bruce. You’ve been a lousy father, and Jack needs a parent around who’s going to take an interest in his day to day life. Do you want to help sew Jack’s costume for theater, or spend your Wednesday afternoons in a chlorine-drenched pool cheering him on?”

“Wait…Jack does theater?” This brought a smile to my lips…my father had made me do theater.

“That’s it, Bruce. He’s been in two plays this year. You blew both of them off. That’s it. We’ll split the assets, and be done with this. Read through the forms.”

With that, Ellen tossed the forms on the table in front of me and went up to our bedroom. Nope, make that her bedroom….the settlement had her taking the house. Spec-tacular.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jack and I will be back tomorrow, Bruce. By then, you better have moved out. I’ll see you Friday at Tom’s office. Good…goodbye, Bruce” Ellen quickly turned and paced out the door. Thank god, only four more days till we meet again at the lawyer’s office. I can’t wait.

I turned to Jack, who was standing there looking at me. I looked at him. My son. He was taller than me now, by a solid two inches. He was well-built from the years and years of swimming. Looks like he made the right choice with swimming over baseball. I reached out my right hand to Jack, offering it to him. “Jack…I’m gonna miss you more than you can understand. I might…I’ve been a lousy father for the last few years, but I will always love you more than anything else. The most exciting day of my life was the day you were born, and the biggest regret I have is that I wasn’t as good a father to you as my father was to me.”

Jack kept looking at me, seemingly unsure to react. After the longest second of my life, he accepted my hand and shook my hand, crushing a bone or two in the process. I was about to release when he pulled me close, hugging me. “I’ll miss you too, Dad” he said, patting me on the back. I teared up slightly as he released me and quickly turned, not wanting to look back. He snatched his backpack off the ground and pushed the door open, heading for the car where Ellen waited impatiently. As they drove off, I got my last look at my family. As they drove out of sight, we officially joined half of America as a broken home.

I turned and walked upstairs, not wanting to finish packing quite yet. I looked into Ellen’s bedroom, which had been repainted pink. The bathroom was in shambles, with Ellen remodeling it. I looked enviously at the Jacuzzi which had arrived the day before, then closed the door to that room. I would be happy never seeing that pink section of hell for the rest of my life.

As I was about to walk down the stairs, I noticed the door to Jack’s room was open. I stuck my head in, looking around. I hadn’t really looked inside Jack’s room in months, and hadn’t taken the time to analyze his room in much longer than that. His wall was absolutely plastered in different memorabilia. One wall was random posters and things, a snapshot of all his eclectic sides. I saw the Kerry-Edwards ’04 sticker still on his wall, and shook my head slightly. The second wall was a tribute to Jack’s life. Awards from school, swimming, and theater lay next to photos of Jack and his friends, only one of whom I could recognize – his old friend Paul Litter, who watched wrestling with us a long time ago. The third wall was covered in sports memorabilia. Patriots gear sat next to Yankees posters – I hadn’t been able to win him over to the Sox. One of the greatest regrets of my life. At least he was a Patriots fan.

The final wall was my consolation. A poster of The Rock in the center of the wall anchored wrestling memorabilia. Some were old posters from the WWWF days that I had given him, which provided an interesting contrast to Kurt Angle and Batista posters. Wrestling was the only thing I successfully passed along to Jack. I had almost no impact on him, and he turned out really well. Says a lot for my skills as a parent. Still, at least I had this wall. That wall represented me. As I turned to leave, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. Next to his bed, he had two pictures in frames. One was a picture of him with the two of us from a few years ago, on a vacation to Mexico – the last vacation we had taken. The other picture, looking a little faded but still vibrant, was of Rick Rude – the picture I had given him 17 years ago at the age of four weeks.

I expected to feel myself tearing up. Instead, I felt something else that I hadn’t felt in a long time – ambition. I wanted to do something with my life. I wanted my son to respect me, and I wanted to have fun with what I did. I thought it over for about thirty seconds. I was about two weeks away from getting shitcanned at Fidelity anyways, so job security wasn’t an issue. Money wasn’t an issue either – even after Ellen took 45% of my assets (she didn’t want to take 50% ‘to be nice about it’ – that bitch), I still had over $9 million to my name. And I had the knowledge, and the desire. I had followed wrestling since I was seven. So what if I hadn’t watched much in the last eight or so years? It was still wrestling, right? I could do this. I could run my own wrestling promotion. What could be more fun than that?

==============================================================

I don’t know how well this will go over. I don’t have a crew, a roster, a location, storylines, or a spot in the market. But what I do have is a lot of money, a love of wrestling, and absolutely nothing to lose. I also have a picture of Rick Rude holding the IC Title in my pocket. I’m going to be king of the greatest wrestling promotion of all-time. No shock tactics, no miserable old guys wrestling, no bait-and-switch, no senseless hardcore, no pure technical chain wrestling for 2 hours at a time. I’m not going to blinded by my love for the past, and I’m not going to obsess about the next big thing. This is going to be fun, entertaining, and as smart as wrestling can be. We are going to lead the next great revolution in wrestling, a rebirth of the sport. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll make something of myself in the process.

My name is Bruce Hawkins. I run Renaissance Championship Wrestling.

[rockyoursox]

APRIL 9, 2006

MY “OFFICE”

My office was not quite the splendid mahogany-laden corner office with a view of Central Park which I had occupied at Fidelity. Instead, my office was now far more versatile – it also acted as a living room, bedroom, kitchen, and greeting area. After moving out, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do, so I decided to slum it for a few months. I moved into a studio apartment uptown, which was actually quite spacious as far as studios go. It was a little cramped, but I threw most of my stuff in a storage facility and took what I needed for the apartment. I liked it, and I felt free there. It reminded me of college, where I had considered having my own room (for the first time) to be the greatest feeling of my entire life. But now, Renaissance Championship Wrestling had its headquarters (in Manhattan, no less – very ritzy). Now, it was time to move on and get some work going.

The first thing I did was make sure RCW would have sponsors. Sure, I had about $9,000,000 in the bank, but I don’t want to be tapping into that if at all possible. I want to have RCW as a self-sustaining promotion. Using a few different contacts I had from within the industry, I quickly signed up four sponsors. When I was done, I had the following contracts in hand:

SPONSORS:

Wendy’s: 9 months @ $150,000 per month

Rolling Rock: 10 months @ $140,000 per month

RF Video: 6 months @ $124,000 per month

PWI: 11 months @ $130,000 per month

This gave me $544,000 per month coming in for sponsorship, plus whatever chicken scratch we made for our events. I would have to be careful to keep our budget fairly low.

Next, I went after a few staff members. I hired a pair of writers for RCW named Jack Sabbath and Peter Lothario. Jack had been a wrestling fan for a while, and seemed like he’d be a perfectly competent member of our writing team. He said that if he signed, Peter came with him. No real problems there, I suppose. I also hired a medic, the seemingly patriotic Helen Canada, to take care of my currently nonexistent roster. Nothing says good health like a 60 year old Canadian medic, right? Mike Hunter, a referee, was another addition to the RCW fold. The most bizarre signing, however, was for our production department. We only got one applicant, so he won the job by default. However, he’s got me a little worried. He signed his resume as simply ‘The Sound Guy’, and always always asked be addressed as Sound Guy, Guy, or SG. Very bizarre behavior, but his references were spotless. The man knows sound, apparently. To cap things off, I brought my secretary from Fidelity into the fold. Sophie knows absolutely nothing whatsoever about wrestling, but she understands how to deal with me, which is just fine by me. Plus, now I don’t have to organize my own stuff. I did have to buy a second chair for the apartment, but Sophie’s worth it.

STAFF MEMBERS:

Secretary: Sophie

Referee: Mike Hunter

Production: The Sound Guy

Medic: Helen Canada

Writer: Peter Lothario

Writer: Jack Sabbath

Announcer: Joe Wheeler

Next up was finding a building to hold the events. I drove over to Brooklyn, where I knew of a few halls that might be willing to rent time to RCW. However, I caught a break on that one. The second building I checked out was run by an old friend of mine from high school, Earl Polero. In exchange for free tickets to the show each month and a mention in the program, Earl agreed to let us use the hallowed Earl Polero Bingo Hall for free each month. The neighborhood we were in was mainly residential, and was a pretty nice place overall. I figured we could get some pretty decent walkthrough traffic there.

ARENA:

Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, New York

I took care of a few things later that day. I ordered up a program for the first event, which was slated for Saturday, November 19th. Sal and I put our heads together, then came up with the name Kick Start. It got the point across, and it wasn’t Genesis, so I figured we had a leg up on most startup feds. I also ordered the RCW Heavyweight Title, which ended up with a pretty sweet design. With all the details taken care of, we only had one thing left to do: Sign the talent and book ourselves a show.

APRIL 16, 2006

RCW HEADQUARTERS

After my Kraft Easy Mac finished cooking, I sat down with my plastic container to look over the roster one more time. It was damn impressive work for a week. To her credit, Sophie had learned quickly, doing everything she could to reach out feelers to independent workers. Sal, Mike, and even Sound Guy were lending a hand to, getting in touch with people from their previous promotions. Finally, after a week of intense negotiating, RCW had its initial roster in place. Read ‘em and weep, folks.

===============================================

Renaissance Championship Wrestling

Fed Size: Small

Public Image: 75%

Finances: $9,000,000

Risk: 70%

Production Values: 35%

Advertising: 10%

Merchandising: 3%

RCW ROSTER:

Sam Artino (Face, Old School Face, 10 Over) – When I was a kid, my hero in the ring was Bruno Sammartino. Sam Artino is my homage to the man who made me fall in love with professional wrestling.

Nick Collyer (Face, Clean Cut, 18 Over) – Collyer is a fresh-faced newcomer to the wrestling business. He’s looking forward to going out and having fun with wrestling, despite not knowing the ins and outs of the business yet.

George Sand (Face, Blue Chipper, 23 Over) – George is young, and seems to have the total package. He’s ready to fulfill his lifelong dream and pursue a career in wrestling. There’s only one thing that’s been stopping him…

Francoise (Face, Dancer, 10 Over) - …and that’s his girlfriend, Francoise. She HATES wrestling with all her heart, and wants her boyfriend to have nothing to do with it. On top of that, she worries about George hurting himself. However, after he decided to join up, Francoise chose to become his manager to keep an eye on him.

Simon Sanders (Face, Fun Babyface, 13 Over) – Simon is really, really happy to have a job. As it is, he’s probably a little too happy to be working this low on the totem pole. Still, he’s really delighted to be in RCW, and can’t wait to get out there and have the time of his life.

Kid Fantastic (Face, Underdog, 20 Over) – Kid Fantastic is not this guy’s real name, I assure you. He’s asked to keep his real name concealed, as he’s working his way through school by wrestling. In the ring, he’s a brawler who doesn’t mind going up top. He’s definitely on the small side for a brawler, though, so he’ll have a hell of a time going toe to toe with a lot of our guys.

Twiggy (Face, Weirdo, 5 Over) – Twiggy is….well, he’s Twiggy. He’s a bizarre, bizarre man. He enjoys carrying on conversations with just about anything, animate or inanimate. Except for pens, which he seems to have a major problem with for some reason. Fortunately, he’s a decent worker, so he’s got some use for us.

Sweatsuit Steve (Face, Comedy Character, 12 Over) – Sweatsuit Steve has never won a match. EVER. But he does have one thing going for him – an insanely sweet collection of sweatsuits. He seems to have a new one every week. Too bad he doesn’t have any talent to go along with it.

Adam Flash (Heel, Old School Heel, 33 Over) – Flash has been around as a wrestler for 15 years now, and he’s learned a trick or two. He’s basically decided that the rules should be loosely interpreted, and has no qualms about doing whatever it takes to win.

Dave Tripps (Tweener, Journalist, 8 Over) – Dave Tripps has worked in the media business for most of his career. He had been a fan of wrestling for some time, though, and jumped at the chance to become part of RCW. His goal is to combine his two loves by working as RCW’s official journalist, interviewing the members of the fed, and winning a match or two.

John Wellington (Heel, Obnoxious, 27 Over) – Wellington has bounced around for a while, looking the whole time to make his way to the big leagues. WWE, TNA, ROH, somewhere where his talents can fully be appreciated. For now, he’ll have to do with thrilling the fans of RCW with his impressive in-ring skills.

Fred Laney (Heel, Egomaniac, 18 Over) – Laney was a former high school football player who won just about every award he could. For the last few years, he hasn’t been athletically involved in anything. However, he’s decided that wrestling will allow him another shot at athletic glory.

Chance Beckett (Heel, Cocky, 35 Over) – Beckett has probably had the most success in the wrestling business of anyone on our roster, and he’s not afraid to let people know about it. His talents are impressive, no doubt.

Kurt Lauderdale (Heel, Bully, 18 Over) – Kurt’s a good wrestler, with his strengths lying in brawling, but he’s got a real attitude problem. He likes to push people around, looking to gain some sort of advantage from it. Not the kind of guy you’d want next to you in the RCW catering line (which isn’t so much a catering line as it is the McDonald’s drive thru line).

Katsushi Takemura (Face, No Gimmick Needed, 26 Over) – There’s no doubt that Katsushi can go in the ring. He’s an incredibly all-around talent…except on the microphone. He’ll need to do something to distinguish himself at some point.

2 Dope (Heel, Street Fighter, 18 Over) – 2 Dope is one of those guys who might stick it to Kid Fantastic. He grew up about nine blocks from our esteemed home at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall in a slightly rougher part of Brooklyn. Despite getting into constant fights, he ended up making it to adulthood, and now he’s all the more dangerous for it. Look out for his surprising quickness to back up his potent punches.

===============================================

Just one week until our first show goes live in Brooklyn. Renaissance Championship Wrestling is a go…and I’m a nervous wreck. Time to take the two-foot journey to my bed and hit the hay for the night. Just one more week until my wrestling promotion…MY wrestling promotion…is truly in existence. It’s still surreal.

Edited March 14, 2006 by rockyoursox

[rockyoursox]

With RCW’s inaugural event just 10 minutes away, my brow was drenched in a nervous sweat I hadn’t felt since the day I popped the question to Ellen. Earl’s bingo hall was all decked out for the occasion, with banners straight from the printers draped everywhere. Fans were pressed up against the guardrail, but one seat at the end of the aisle was open, with a card marked “RESERVED” on it. I had sent a ticket to Jack, hoping he’d come and see his old man’s wrestling promotion get off the ground. I didn’t know where he was that night; all I knew was that he wasn’t here with me. Ellen probably heard about it and didn’t let him come. I only got one day every other week with him, and Ellen didn’t like the idea of him spending that one night watching me work. She didn’t see the difference between what I did at Fidelity and what I was doing with Renaissance Championship Wrestling. Hopefully Jack would see the difference, even if he couldn’t be here tonight. I had Sound Guy recording the show, so I’d at least send Jack a tape. Our writer, doubling as a staffer, said we had 204 paid tickets, plus Earl and three of his “family” with him. I’m sorry, but unless Mrs. Polero slept around, Earl didn’t have a redheaded brother, or a black one. Still, a little abuse of the free ticket policy was fine by me in exchange for free use of the hall. My watch ticked to 8:00:00, and then past it. It was time to go.

--------------------------------

RCW KICK START

April 23, 2006

Earl Polero Bingo Hal - Brooklyn, NY

Introduction: RCW Is A Go!

As the lights go down to signal the start of the show, Joe Wheeler leaves the broadcast table and steps up into the ring. Joe’s the play by play man for RCW. I hired him after hearing him call numbers at the DMV downtown. No one ever called out “Serving number 4-7-9” more beautifully than he did. Of course, I was #479, and after 45 minutes at the DMV, Roseanne Barr’s voice would have sounded lovely. As I tried to get the image of Roseanne out of my head, Joe raises his microphone and officially kicks off Renaissance Championship Wrestling.

Joe: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Renaissance Championship WRESTLING!

The crowd gives a good-natured pop, glad to see the action finally getting underway.

Joe: Tonight, here at RCW Kick Start, we will crown the very first Renaissance Championship Wrestling champion! Four of the bravest, most feared competitors in all of professional wrestling enter the squared circle to vie for the honor of being the first RCW World Champion! Adam Flash, Katsushi Tamekura, George Sand, and Chance Beckett will walk down the aisle with title aspirations, but only ONE will leave the Earl Polero Arena with the big gold bet wrapped around their waist! Who will it be? Tonight’s main event is sure to set the tone for Renaissance Championship Wrestling for years to come!

I notice Earl smiling after hearing his dump referred to as an ‘arena’. Whatever gets him through the night.

Joe: However, RCW Kick Start promises so much more than a spectacular main event! We have some incredible undercard action for you tonight! We will see rookie Nick Collyer take on a throwback in every sense of the word, Sam Artino! We also have a triple threat match between Kurt Lauderdale, Twiggy, and 2 Dope! These are just some of the fabulous stars that RCW is proud to present to you as RCW Kick Start shatters your belief at what makes for truly spectacular wrestling!

A small round of applause follows up. Hopefully the fans are saving that energy for later in the night.

Joe: Now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our first match of the night between Simon Sanders and John Wellington. And remember, years from now, when millions of people claim to have been here in this cozy arena, you are the people who can truly say, “I was there when the renaissance of professional wrestling began!”

A nice touch by Joe there at the end. I knew was onto something at that DMV.

RATING: 52

--------------------------------

Simon Sanders vs. John Wellington

These two are a study in opposites as RCW’s first ever match gets going. Wellington wears a somewhat sullen expression on his face as he walks down to the ring, ignoring the few outstretched hands over the barrier. Wellington was annoyed when I even contacted him about a job, but when numerous ‘other commitments’ mysteriously failed to come through for him, he signed on the dotted line. Meanwhile, I can honestly say nobody was more happy to sign on with us than Simon Sanders was, and it showed. His smile was bigger than Steven Tyler’s, and he shakes every outstretched hand, as well as a few that weren’t. In the ring, Sanders doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. He hits Wellington with a huge springboard moonsault off the second rope, taking Wellington down hard to the mat for a 2 count. Sanders went for a second springboard moonsault as Wellington got up, but Wellington managed to dodge that one, leaving Sanders to land flat on his face. A dazed Sanders stumbles up straight into Wellington’s arms, who hits him with a move he calls the E. Coli Driver – I think we might need to work on that name. 1…2….3, and the match is over, with John Wellington picking up the first-ever W in RCW history.

WINNER: John Wellington

OVERALL: 44

MATCH: 59

CROWD: 30

--------------------------------

The Debut Of "Trippin' With Dave Tripps"

As Wellington and Sanders head to the back, Sound Guy drags a table into the ring, planting a couple of chairs around it. With the spectacular set work done, a generic sounding theme song hits, bringing out Dave Tripps. Tripps has a banner rolled up under his arm and a clipboard in his hand, looking pleased to be in front of the crowd. He steps into the ring and clips the banner to the front of the table, revealing the words “TRIPPIN’ WITH DAVE TRIPPS”. He checks to make sure the edges are aligned correctly, then grabs his microphone and turns to the crowd.

Tripps: Hello, RCW fans, and welcome to the first installment of what is sure to be the highlight of each and every RCW event! That’s right, I’m talking about the fastest growing talk sensation in professional wrestling today! My name is Dave Tripps, and I’ve worked in the news industry for 15 years with such media moguls as TimeWarner, Newsweek, and MSNBC! However, I return tonight to my original love, professional wrestling, to provide each and every RCW fan with the scoop on the biggest stories in Renaissance Championship Wrestling each and every week on…Trippin’ With Dave Tripps!

The crowd is basically silent, having no real idea what to expect so far. Dave, bless his heart, doesn’t miss a beat:

Tripps: Tonight on the Trip, we have an RCW superstar who has been long removed from competing at the highest levels of sports. After a storied career as an athlete at the high school and college levels, he took years off from competing, choosing to live a family life. However, tonight marks his return to competition. Ladies and gentlemen, would each and every one of you please give a round of applause for Mr. Fred Laney! Fred, come on down!

A heavy rock theme kicks in, and Fred Laney comes walking down the ramp. He has the remnants of a muscular physique, but the muscles have lost their definition, growing somewhat soft and flabby. He deftly slides under the bottom rope and springs up, seizing Tripps’ hand in one smooth motion. He sits down at the other chair, which strains a little under his mass. Tripps takes a seat alongside him, shuffles through his cards, then looks up with the most plastic smile I’ve ever seen.

Tripps: Mr. Laney, thanks for joining us on Trippin’. Now, first questions first: How do you respond to allegations that you have engaged in widespread steroid usage?

Laney looks stunned for a second before Tripps burst out in laughter.

Tripps: Just kidding, just kidding. You know, topical humor and all. Anyways, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Laney: Well Dave, I was an all-state athlete in three different sports at the high school level, and I took a lacrosse scholarship to Syracuse University. Since I graduated from college six years ago, I’ve been looking to get back into the athletic game. Professional wrestling was something I had been watching all my life, and I finally decided to pull the trigger and join up with a federation. I guess RCW are the lucky folks who got to sign me and watch me reach new athletic peaks.

Tripps: So you think it’ll be easy to climb to the top of RCW?

Laney: Not necessarily easy, but athletic glory has come easily to me my entire life. I wasn’t the hardest worker on my teams – far from it, in fact. But my natural talent was so abundant that I could overcome obstacles that held back most athletes from reaching the peaks of athletic glory. RCW won’t be any different.

Tripps: What about competing against people who have wrestled professionally for years, or even decades? Do you really think you can defeat each and every one of them?

Laney: I’m not worried, Dave. They don’t stand a chance against me. That simple.

Tripps: Well – you heard it here, folks. Fred Laney is ready to run wild over RCW. Fred, thanks for being on Trippin’ with me, Dave Tripps.

Laney: No problem, Dave.

Tripps:That’s all for this show, folks! Make sure to watch next time, where we bring you an EXCLUSIVE interview with the new RCW World Champion! But until then, I’m Dave Tripps. What a long, strange trip it’s been.

RATING: 50

--------------------------------

Kid Fantastic vs. Sweatsuit Steve

Kid Fantastic, wearing a full mask, comes strutting down to the ring with a confident stride. However, the masked man can’t compare in style to Sweatsuit Steve, who comes down wearing an awe-inspiring green and gold sweatsuit with the words “SWEATSUIT STEVE” embroidered on the back. Announcer Joe Wheeler somehow ignores the sweatsuit’s glory, instead talking about Kid Fantastic, who wrestles as a way to put himself through college. I suppose it beats stripping, so good for him. Fantastic definitely has a knack for wrestling, however. The match is dominated by Fantastic’s offense from the get-go, which is surprisingly physical for a man of his size. A flurry of punches sends Steve to the outside, where he re-arranges his outfit before sliding back in. Upon returning, a hard spinning wheel kick takes him to the canvas. Fantastic heads to the top and nails the Putdown, a massive 450 splash, to get the 3 count and the win!

WINNER: Kid Fantastic

OVERALL: 39

MATCH: 66

CROWD: 12

--------------------------------

2 Dope vs. Twiggy vs. Kurt Lauderdale

Lauderdale and 2 Dope are clearly two of the stronger competitors on the roster. Both are heavy brawlers who do their best work with their fists. They don’t even wait for the third man to get the ring, immediately starting to brawl with each other. As they go at it, Twiggy pops out from behind the curtain and begins to walk to the ring. However, as Twiggy makes his way towards the ring, he talks in a very, very animated fashion to a wrestling boot in his right hand. As he makes it towards the ring, an angry-looking Fred Laney comes running out from the back and snatches the boot back from Twiggy before LEVELING him with a clothesline and rolling him into the ring. 2 Dope and Lauderdale ignore him, choosing instead to continue fighting each other. 2 Dope finally takes the advantage, hitting a spinebuster on Lauderdale, which sends Kurt rolling to the outside. As 2 Dope turns around, Twiggy comes off the top rope with a flying body press. However, 2 Dope catches him and tosses him up into a gorilla press. Lauderdale is up on the outside, and looks up to see Twiggy being thrown at him over the ropes. The two men tumble to the ground, with 2 Dope in control. Both men get up and crawl back into the ring, looking to get back into the match. Lauderdale clotheslines 2 Dope and goes for a piledriver, but Twiggy comes flying in with an enziguri to the back of the head. As Lauderdale goes down, Twiggy dances around in delight, failing to take notice of 2 Dope. He walks right into the waiting brawler, who plants Twiggy with a stiff powerbomb for the 1, 2, 3 and the win.

WINNER: 2 Dope

OVERALL: 43

MATCH: 68

CROWD: 19

--------------------------------

Chance Beckett Speaks!

The lights dim in the ring, and a spotlight comes up by the entrance tunnel, where Chance Beckett is standing with a microphone. He waits for the crowd to swivel their necks around, gives a little grin when all the attention is finally focused on him, then begins his spiel.

Beckett: For those of you unlucky enough not to know me, my name is Chance Beckett, and I’ve done more in my career than the rest of the slobs in this locker room put together! I made it to the finals of the Super 8 tournament, where I lost to a guy you might have heard of – a certain Paul London! I’ve been ECCW World Champion, a title which I never lost! I was two-time ECCW Tag Team Champion! I’ve wrestled the American Dragon, I’ve been in Ring of Honor, and I was trained in the Hart Dungeon! Not that the former lacrosse player, the journalist, and…whatever the hell that Twiggy guy is…aren’t formidable opponents, but no one, and I mean NOBODY, can touch me in this ring!

The crowd, who were strangely respectful while Beckett listed off his accomplishments, are starting to boo him, catching on that Beckett’s a little bit cocky. Smart crowd, brilliant crowd!

Beckett: Now it’s time for Chance Beckett to add another title to his resume! I might be in a match with three other men, but I’m not competing against them – THEY compete against ME. None of them can boast the wealth of experience and success that I’ve had in my ten-year career, not a single one. And once I become the first-ever RCW World Champion, an honor that nobody can take away from me, I’ll show all the amateurs in this federation exactly what being a champion is all about. ‘Mr. Showtime’ Chance Beckett steps down from no one. And when Flash, Takemura, and Sand leave the ring tonight, they will know they just had a close encounter of the Chance kind!

RATING: 55

--------------------------------

Sam Artino vs. Nick Collyer

When I heard Sam Artino’s music hit, I tossed the clipboard I was flipping through off to the side and stepped up by the curtain to watch the match. Sam had even cut his hair to look like Bruno’s, and had done a surprisingly good job at it. Nick Collyer followed him out, looking fairly nervous. It was his first pro wrestling match since graduating from training, and I’m sure he was nervous. The match was very good though, as Collyer took the leash off. He hit a great springboard plancha onto Sam, who kept shaking off whatever Collyer threw at him. Collyer came running at Sam, looking for a Lou Thesz press, but Sam caught Collyer and clapped him in a vise-like bearhug. After squeezing the breath out of Collyer, Arinto pick him up and delivered a Canadian backbreaker. 1, 2, 3, and Sam Artino gets the win.

WINNER: Sam Artino

OVERALL: 44

MATCH: 74

CROWD: 15

--------------------------------

George Sand and Francoise Backstage

We cut backstage (meaning that we have Sound Guy run back there with our one camera), where we see George Sand lacing up his boots, getting ready for the upcoming main event. He pulls the laces taut and finishes tying them up. As he breathes deeply, trying to relax, the door behind him slams open and Francoise, his rather scantily-clad girlfriend, comes barging into the room, looking perturbed.

Francoise: George, are you sure about this? It’s not too late to stop – I can just run and tell the guy over there, and we can get out of he…

George: Yes, Francoise, for the last time, I am SURE. I’m going out there, and I’m gonna wrestle, and I’m gonna WIN.

Francoise: George, there are THREE people you’re fighting tonight! Three!

George: I know, Frannie. But c’mon, I’ve had matches like this before – you’ve seen me in four-way matches before!

Francoise: That was DIFFERENT, George! Those were in stupid little promotions, places that backyard leagues would be ashamed to be associated with. But this is real, George! You heard how much Chance Beckett has done! And the other two guys have been around a long time too, and they’ve had some success, and….George, I’m really worried for you!

George: I know you are, sweetie. But don’t worry about it, OK? I can win this match.

Francoise: George, I want you to leave! You know how I feel about this whole wrestling thing, and now fighting three guys at once, and I just want you to leave!

George: I’m not leaving. It’s time for the match. I’m going out, and you’re gonna come with me, and you and I are gonna celebrate when I leave that room healthy and holding the RCW World Title, OK?

Francoise: …OK, fine. Just BE CAREFUL!

George: C’mon, let’s get going. It’s time.

RATING: 48

--------------------------------

RCW WORLD TITLE MATCH

Adam Flash vs. George Sand vs. Katsushi Tamekura vs. Chance Beckett

George is the first one out to the ring, where he and Francoise pose for the crowd. Katsushi Takemura is next out, and simple walks down to the ring. He stands upright in the turnbuckle, waiting for the other two to get going. This guy has less charisma than the boot Twiggy was talking to. Chance Beckett is next out, looking supremely confident as Francoise stares him down, looking somewhat apprehensive. Chance blows her a kiss, sending Francoise recoiling. George glares at Chance as Adam Flash, the final competitor, makes his way towards the ring. With all four men in the ring, the bell chimes and the first-ever RCW World Title match is underway!

George Sand immediately rushes Beckett, taking him down and to the outside with a tackle. As Sand lays into Beckett with a series of punches, Flash and Takemura start flailing away at each other. Takemura gains the upper hand and quickly locks Flash into an armbar, grounding Flash. Flash eventually fights out and manages to plant Takemura with a hard lariat. Sand, finished beating on Beckett, rolls into the ring and takes down Flash with a forearm to the back. Flash and Sand brawl with each other while Beckett slides into the ring and rolls Takemura up, looking for a quick three count! 1…..2……Sand comes flying in to break up the pinfall attempt! Takemura rolls to the apron as Sand eats a hard dropkick by Flash. Beckett and Flash start going at it as Takemura and Sand regroup away from the action.

Beckett scoop slams Flash, then heads to the top rope. He comes off with a top rope knee drop, but Flash rolls out of the way, leaving Beckett to slam his knee into the canvas. Flash immediately locks on a figure four, but a revived Katsushi comes launching into the picture, connecting with a superkick to Flash’s prone jaw. Flash falls limply to the group, and Takemura covers for the pinning attempt. 1…….2….but the pin is broken up by Sand and Beckett, who both come flying in to break up the pinfall attempt and keep the match going. Beckett and Sand look at each other, still clearly upset from the beginning of the match, but they put their differences aside, grabbing Takemura off the mat. The two irish whip him into the ropes, then plant him with a double flapjack. Sand picks him up and holds him in an abdominal stretch for Beckett, who hits a running kick to the midsection, taking Takemura down. Sand goes to grab him again, but Beckett runs in and hits a running neckbreaker, then goes for the quick cover! 1………2………..Sand kicks out at the last second!

Flash is back up, and grabs Beckett from behind and hits a quick bridging German suplex, trying to steal the win! 1…….2…….Beckett kicks out! Flash slams his hand against the mat, then heads to the top, looking to hit his patented flying leg drop. As he balances himself on the top rope, George Sand comes flying in and crotches him on the rope. Flash lets out a moan, then falls off the turnbuckle to the outside. Sand turns right into Takemura, who grabs Sand, lifts him up, and plants him with a STIFF brainbuster! Francoise grabs Sand’s leg and pulls him to the ring apron, screaming at him to see if he’s OK. Takemura goes to follow up, but Beckett is ready and waiting. Takemura goes to give him a brainbuster as well, but Beckett slips out of the move behind Takemura! Takemura walks straight into Beckett, who lifts Takemura up…….CHANCE ENCOUNTER! He covers for the pin! 1………2…………3! Chance Beckett is the new RCW World Champion!

WINNER and NEW RCW WORLD CHAMPION: Chance Beckett

OVERALL: 55

MATCH: 78

CROWD: 33

OVERALL: 48

[rockyoursox]

MAY 7, 2006

RCW HEADQUARTERS

I was up at the crack of noon today to get started on some more RCW paperwork. I have no idea how I dealt with the business world for so long. If I had to get up at 6 AM to catch a train into the city again, I’d be miserable. The college kid in me was definitely reappearing in full force with the new lifestyle I was leading. As if to confirm that notion, I stepped on a pile of dirty clothes getting out of bed that morning, lost my balance, and fell into a pile of beer cans and pizza boxes. Sophie said she wasn’t gonna come by until I cleared out the apartment. I reluctantly agreed and dragged four trash bags worth of material to the garbage chute, grumbling all the way.

With the garbage out of the way, Sophie agreed to drop by with the figures she had run on the last show. I noticed the look of relief on her face when she took three steps into the room and hadn’t stepped on a rat. However, she definitely disapproved of the three-day stubble beard I was wearing, which didn’t particularly match the suit I was wearing (the only clean outfit I had). She was in a hurry, so she just dropped off a thick folder full of files and headed out the door, leaving me to do all the brain work. Figures.

After three hours of procrastinating in front of the TV watching a particularly compelling episode or six of Hogan’s Heroes, I finally flipped open the folder and began to skim through the materials. RCW had turned a profit last month, but just barely, and only because we had sold off some excess ring equipment and the like Earl had found lying in the storeroom and given to us. We had used 16 guys on that first show, which was just too many for us to afford at that point. I quickly shelved the plans for a 50-man battle royal and started trimming down the plans for next month’s show. I wanted to keep all the guys under contract, but I figure we didn’t need to have all our guys on the show every month.

Another problem: Our public image was down a bit, dropping 3% for the month to 72%. I thought our advertising budget had been high enough, but clearly we were coming up a little bit short. I upped the ad budget a bit, and reluctantly crossed out the elephant parade we had penciled in for the pre-show entertainment. Another victim of budget cuts. I felt the show could have been a bit better, but I wasn’t too concerned with things overall. I didn’t plan on putting on a spectacular show right off the bat. The first few months would start to establish characters and get the crowd used to them, and once we had a foothold, we’d start to make our move. I definitely had some plans to speed that process along, but it’s never easy to be the new guy on the block.

I dragged my laptop over and opened my e-mail account, where I had stored my dossiers on our talent. Thank god for GMail. I had a few notes in my inbox, so I ran through those real quick. We weren’t the smallest promotion anymore, with three groups falling below us – yay. Sam Artino was celebrating his birthday this month. I made a note to bring a cake backstage to our next show, which was going to be on May 28th. I had entitled it No-Sell The Sabbath – I was a little too proud of it, I’m not gonna lie. I ran through the rest really quickly – Jericho to TNA, Raven to WWE, could your penis be bigger (probably, I thought), WXW’s show cancelled, African millionaire wanting to give me cash – nothing worth my time. As I was about to close out the program, an e-mail popped up in my inbox – from Jack, my son. He hadn’t made it to Kick Start, so I had sent him a videotape of the show to see what he thought. I excitedly opened the e-mail and started reading:

Hey Dad-

Doing OK. Lots of work at school, but no more fights, so things are going better. Mr. Jibal said I’d be recommended for AP Calculus if I kept up what I was doing. Got a B+ on my history paper, so that grade’s going up.

Mom’s fine. Haven’t seen her much lately – she’s out at stores for redecorating and stuff. She’s going out to parties too. She doesn’t seem much happier though – dunno if that makes you feel better.

Sorry I couldn’t make it to your show. Mom didn’t want me there, since I had a lot of work to do. She thought it sounded stupid too. I watched the video – it had its moments. Definitely rough around the edges, though. It showed that it was the first show. It’s better stuff than the WWE has done recently, though. I like Twiggy and George Sand. Give them a push. Kid Fantastic’s a stupid name, but the guy seems like a good wrestler. I’ll try and make it to one of your shows soon. I can’t make it this month – finals start at the end of May, so I’m gonna be busy then. I don’t think I’ll be around in June either, since me and Mandy were thinking of going on a vacation around then. I’ll let you know.

Love you Dad. Good luck.

Jack

I was glad he liked the show – and for the record, I don’t think Kid Fantastic is a bad name at all. He was right about Sand and Twiggy, though – I was a fan of both. With some renewed vigor, I opened up my spreadsheet and started typing away, getting things ready for No-Sell The Sabbath.

==============================

OFFICAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW NO-SELL THE SABBATH!

“TRIPPIN’” HOSTS THE NEW CHAMP!

Dave Tripps, the host of “Trippin’ With Dave Tripps!” will be the first man to get a word with the man who walked out of Kick Start with the RCW World Title, Chance Beckett! What will Beckett have to say after adding another piece of hardware to his collection?

GEORGE SAND vs. KATSUSHI TAKEMURA

These two men were in the match where Beckett took home the RCW World Title, with Takemura being pinned by Beckett. These two will square off in tonight’s main event, with the winner having an excellent case for another shot at Beckett’s title! Which of these technical marvels will walk out with the W?

ADAM FLASH vs. SIMON SANDERS

Flash was the fourth member of that four-way bout for the RCW Title, and he’s surely not happy about his failure to walk out champion! How will he rebound against Simon Sanders?

ALSO!

Many other of your favorite RCW superstars will be in action! Kid Fantastic, Twiggy, Fred Laney, and many more will be present on Sunday at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, New York! Be there!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY

RCW NO-SELL THE SABBATH!

[Riceman 4K]

Damn man, this diary is really solid. I love how you set up the backstory and just went with it from there. Show recaps are done excellently and this diary just seems "crisp".

You got a new reader in me.

[GCCWolverine]

This seems to be a very well-thought out premise and a very promising beginning - I'm looking forward to the next show.

[Gareth7]

(Y) It was great I really liked the backstory it adds something more to the diary and your first show was good I will be reading.. push the tracksuit guy

[rockyoursox]

RCW NO-SELL THE SABBATH

MAY 28, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

Hype video for Fred Laney

As our crowd of 207 people (the extra three were Earl’s ‘brothers’ from last time who couldn’t convince Adam Flash, acting as our ticket taker, that they were related to Earl) were still filing to their seats, a screen came down in front of the entranceway. The sounds of an antiquated projector starts rolling from the ring, where Sound Guy is precariously balancing the projector’s wobbly wheel. After a second, the film catches, and a video starts to roll on the screen, with music sounding very similar to “Prince Ali” from Aladdin rolling in the background…god, I hope no one in our audience is a Disney rep. A giant caption reads “FRED LANEY: A PRINCE AMONG MEN” as the lyrics kick in.

Make way for Fred Laney!

Say hey! It’s Fred Laney!

[We see clips of Fred Laney in his Syracuse lacrosse uniform posing for the camera, flexing and posing]

Hey! Clear the way in the old dim hall!

Hey you!

Let us through!

It's a bright new star!

Oh Come!

Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

[Here, we get Laney in a spot shadow on the lacrosse field in a still screen]

Make way!

Here he comes!

Ring bells! Bang the drums!

Oh, you’re gonna love this guy!

[The action starts up, and we’re treated to a montage of Laney’s greatest lacrosse hits]

Fred Laney! Fabulous he!

Laney runs through ya!

Genuflect, show some respect

Down on one knee!

Now, try your best to stay calm

Feel free to slap his palm

Then come and enjoy his spectacular joie de vivre!

[Now, we have grainy high school football footage, with Laney spotshadowed on the far side of the screen – this time, we get a greatest hits package in football, with some spectacular runs and some bone-crushing tackles]

Fred Laney!

Mighty is he!

Laney runs through ya!

Strong as ten regular men, definitely!

He faced the galloping horde

From Georgetown, who prayed to their lord,

Who sent those goons all home sore?

Why, Fred Laney!

[Clips of Laney scoring 9 goals against Georgetown run, then we cut to a shot of his trophy room at home, which is completely filled]

He's got seventy-five golden medals!

First place ribbons?

He's got fifty-three

When it comes to awards and decorations

Has he got a few?

I'm telling you, it's a world-class resume!

[Now, it appears time for Fred Laney: the sensitive side. I know, just what we were all waiting for. We see him walking with a beautiful girl holding hands down by a river]

Fred Laney! Handsome is he, Laney runs through ya!

That physique! How can I speak

Weak at the knee

Well, get on out in that square,

adjust your jock and prepare

To gawk and grovel and lose to Fred Laney!

[We see clips of Laney training with a weight bag and going through what could be a severe exercise regimen, or could be a nice 45 second package that marks the most exercise he’s had since college]

He's got ninety-five white home jerseys

(He's got the jerseys, let's see the jerseys)

And to view them he charges no fee

(He's generous, so generous)

He's got fans, he's got diehards and junkies

(Proud to look out for him)

They bow to his whim, love watching him

They're just lousy with loyalty to Laney! Fred Laney!

[As shots of his hangers-on fade out, we have Fred Laney front and center with the American flag waving behind him]

Fred Laney!

Dominant he! Laney runs through ya!

Heard your title was a sight lovely to see

And that, good people, is why he got jacked up and dropped by

Strong as sixty elephants, patience galore

With his muscle and smile

A brass body and more

With his forty crusaders, his coaches, his trainers

His smile shining so brilliantly!

Make way for Fred Laneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

The audience is stunned, although I catch a couple of people humming “Prince Ali” to themselves. I just sat there, stunned, as Sound Guy calmly took the projector out of the ring, he and Dave Tripps replaced it with the set for “Trippin’”, and got the show underway.

…

I mean, PRINCE ALI?

RATING: 47

============================

"Trippin'" With The Champ

Dave Tripps: Hello everybody, and welcome to RCW No-Sell The Sabbath! And what batter way to kick off the hottest show in wrestling than with the hottest show in RCW? That’s right, it’s time for another episode of “Trippin’” with me, Dave Tripps!

He waits for anything besides the rather general malaise that meets him, but gets nothing.

Tripps: Well, before we get to the interview that all of you folks have been waiting for, a quick rundown of the news here in Renaissance Championship Wrestling. Tonight’s show will have a spectacular main event, as two men who competed for the RCW World Title at last month’s Kick Start, when George Sand takes on Japanese sensation Katsushi Takemura!

This gets a small round of applause, which seems to make Dave infinitely more relaxed

Tripps: That’s one of many great matches we have planned here for you tonight! However, while Sand and Takemura came out losers in the RCW World Title match at Kick Start, my guest here on Trippin’ was the competitor that outfought three other men to walk out the inaugural RCW World Champion! Fans, please give a big Trippin’ round of applause to the RCW World Champion, Chance Beckett!

Beckett’s music hits, and he comes strutting down to the ring, holding the RCW Title over his left shoulder. The crowd seems fairly split on Beckett, with some remembering his excellent match and title win, and some remembering his arrogant jerkoff interview. Beckett, for the record, looks like he couldn’t care less, just stroking the RCW belt on his way to the ring. He slides into the ring and plops down into the accompanying chair, missing Dave’s outstretched hand. He grimaces at the old chair, a spring surely pointing into his back (a prerequisite for any chair you find on the street for free, like we did with these), while Dave slides back into his seat, the smile never dimming on his face.

Tripps: Welcome to the Trip, Mr. Beckett, or should I say Mr. Champion?

Chance Beckett: Dave, I’m glad I can be here to let all the RCW faithful have a chance to see the new champion to kick off the night!

Tripps: Why don’t you tell us a little bit about the match, Chance?

Beckett: Well, it was a classic Beckett victory. Adam Flash thought he could steal a victory on me with that bridging German, but no chance that was gonna put me down, so I powered out of it on my own. All those other pinfalls, people were breaking up to make sure they had a chance, but Chance Beckett didn’t need any of that. If someone gets lucky enough to hit a move on me like that, I sure as heck don’t need anyone to break it for me!

Tripps: And the ending, how did that work out?

Beckett: I played possum a bit, letting all those other guys go at it and hit their big moves on each other. Takemura thought he had it won, but he wasn’t gonna pull off that brainbuster twice in a row! Give someone as good as me one look at a move, and it’s not getting done a second time!

The crowd is definitely shifting away from the Beckett camp, with a few punctuated boos slipping between Beckett’s sentences.

Tripps: Well, now that you are the RCW World Champion, what do you plan on doing?

Beckett: Dave, I’ve been a champion everywhere I’ve gone. Heck, I’ve been stripped of titles because I was never gonna lose them! Just ask the ECCW title committee!

Tripps: Weren’t you injure…

Beckett: But here, in RCW, I want to leave a truly indelible mark as the RCW champion. Here’s what I’m going to do: anyone that can convince me they deserve a title shot will GET a title shot, end of story. I will defend against all comers, and I will defeat all comers. I’ve already gone down in RCW history as the first world champion in its history, and now I want to go down in the books as the BEST world champion RCW has ever seen!

Tripps: So you say you’ll defend against anyone, huh? Anyone?

Beckett fails to notice the gleam in Dave’s eye, continuing on in his nice guided self-promoting spiel.

Beckett: That’s right, Dave. Anyone that earns a shot, or even just gets me in the mood to kick their ass – I’ll take them all on!”

Tripps: Really…..

With that, Dave Tripps goes flying over the desk and tackles Chance Beckett out of his chair to the canvas! He unloads on Beckett’s face with a series of right hands, which the champion, caught completely off-guard, is powerless to stop! Referee Mike Hunter storms the ring, and the bell rings to start the matchup!

RATING: 55

============================

RCW WORLD TITLE MATCH

Chance Becket vs. Dave Tripps

The matchup starts out with Tripps in complete control, still riding the advantage of his sneak attack across the Trippin’ set. However, Dave got a little too cute and picked Beckett up to taunt him before whipping him towards the ropes. Beckett reversed the Irish whip, then hit a stiff spinning elbow to the rebounding Tripps. Beckett lays the boots to Tripps’ prone body, still wearing his street shoes. Tripps tries to take Beckett down, but Beckett slams him back to the canvas and keeps laying into him. After a couple of minutes of sloppy but intense brawling between the two, with Beckett generally in control, Chance heads to the top rope. He lands a flying clothesline, then calls for the Chance Encounter. He goes to pick Tripps up, but Tripps slips behind Beckett and locks in a sleeper hold. Beckett expertly falls backwards, using the impact to slip out of the hold. Both men spring up, and Tripps goes for a clothesline, but Beckett ducks under it. Tripps whirls around, and walks straight into a Chance Encounter! Tripps is down and out as Beckett makes the academic cover, but still hooks the leg just in case. 1…..2……..3! Beckett retains his RCW World Title!

WINNER and STILL RCW WORLD CHAMPION: Chance Beckett

RATING: 50

CROWD: 33

MATCH: 68

============================

George Sand and Francoise Talk

After the World Title match carnage has been cleaned out of the ring, George Sand and Francoise come walking down the aisle to the ring. Francoise appears to be in much better (read: relaxed) shape than she was in last week as she slides beneath the ropes in the gap George opens up for her. George poses for the crowd, getting a polite pop, while Francoise heads to the corner and takes the microphone from Sound Guy.

Francoise: Ladies and gentlemen, you saw this man in action last month at RCW Kick Start, where he came within an inch of becoming the first RCW World Champion! Tonight, he will square off against Katsushi Takemura in the main event. Folks, please give a round of applause for GEORGE SAND!

Sand nods to the crowd, who oblige Francoise and give a round of applause for George Sand. She hands the microphone to him briefly, as he looks like he has something to say.

George: After last month, where I came up short, I learned my lesson. I need to give myself up completely to become a success here in RCW! If I want to rise to the top of Renaissance Championship Wrestling, I will push myself like I’ve never pushed myself before to be the absolute best that I can be!

Francoise snatches the microphone back toward her face, looking a little less relaxed than she did earlier

Francoise: Um….that’s right! George will go all-out to become the RCW world champion! Chance Beckett, you’ve said that anyone who deserves a title shot will get one from you! Well, Chance, after you watch my man George Sand go out and win tonight’s main event, there’s no way he won’t be next in line! So get ready Chance, because George Sand is coming for you!

RATING: 56

============================

Twiggy vs. Kid Fantastic

Our next match features Kid Fantastic taking on Twiggy. Kid Fantastic is out first, slapping hands as the masked man jogs down to the ring and gets ready for his bout. As he stretches out in the ring, looking ready, Twiggy comes stumbling out from behind the curtain, looking very distracted. He is in fact distracted, as he’s busy murmuring softly to a gym bag he’s dragging along with him. Suddenly, he screams, “OK!!!!!” at the top of his lungs at the gym bag, throws the Syracuse-branded bag to the ground outside the ring, and charges at Kid Fantastic. Twiggy’s sudden intensity catches the Kid off guard, and he spends the first minute of the match playing matador, trying to fend off Twiggy’s charges. Finally, Twiggy stops to breathe, and Kid Fantastic takes the offensive, springing to the top rope and drilling Twiggy with a missile dropkick. Fantastic follows up with a sprinting dropkick to the sitting Twiggy, snapping him back to the canvas. A pin only gets two, but Fantastic hops right back up, not losing any intensity.

Fantastic went running against the ropes again, but Twiggy bounced up and hit a running leg lariat, taking Kid Fantastic down. He hits a soccer-style kick to the Kid’s chest, then heads up to the top rope. He comes flying off, trying to take Fantastic down with a cross body block, but Kid Fantastic rolls through and covers Twiggy! 1……2……..no! Twiggy kicks out! Twiggy goes for a haymaker, but Kid Fantastic dodges it and hits a HUGE spinning wheel kick to the face of Twiggy! Kid Fantastic goes up, and nails the Putdown (450 Splash)! 1…….2……..3! Kid Fantastic has picked up his second win in as many shows! As he celebrates, Fred Laney comes storming down the aisle, looking INSANELY pissed off. He spies the gym bag Twiggy tossed away and grabs it, about to head back to the locker room. Instead, he stops, then slides into the ring, where Twiggy is just getting up from his loss. As he gets to his feet, shaking his head, Fred Laney charges forward and DRILLS him with a spear, nearly cutting Twiggy in half. Twiggy shows no immediate signs of getting up, and a seemingly placated Laney heads to the back, with a number of boos cascading over him.

WINNER: Kid Fantastic

RATING: 40

CROWD: 13

MATCH: 67

============================

Adam Flash vs. Simon Sanders

Simon Sanders is out first, looking insanely happy once again. He spies a small child in the front row, and hands him his towel, bringing a smile to the small child’s face. Sanders then pulls out a glossy picture and a Sharpie, signing the picture and giving it to the kid, who smiles nervously and accepts it. As Sanders starts to chat up the kid, whose mother is looking increasingly worried by all the attention, Adam Flash, the other opponent, comes flying out of the ring, taking Sanders to the ground. Flash gets up and shakes off the lingering aches before rolling him back into the ring. Sanders makes a few small rallies, trying to get into the match, but Flash manages to counter each of them. After a series of right hands, Sanders appears to be getting back into the match, and the crowd is starting to rally behind him. He charges at Flash, who ducks out of the way. Flash immediately runs up behind him, pushes him into the ropes, then goes flipping backwards into a rollup pin. As Mike Hunter drops into place to count the pin, Flash takes note of his positioning and grabs a fistful of Sanders’ tights, locking him even more tightly in place! Hunter doesn’t notice, and starts the count! 1…………2…………3! Adam Flash gets the win, but not without going outside the rules! As the referee raises his hand, Flash demands the microphone, clearly having something to say.

WINNER: Adam Flash

RATING: 46

CROWD: 32

MATCH: 60

============================

Adam Flash Speaks!

Flash: Well, well, well, this is a little more like it. I almost had the main event won at Kick Start, but with all those other clowns running around in that match, it was pure chaos! I know that if that match had been a one on one match, there isn’t ANYONE in all of Renaissance Championship Wrestling who would have stood a chance against me, Adam Flash. I know every trick in the book, and as soon as I get my shot at the title, I’ll be walking out of this dump as the RCW World Champion!

Earl didn’t look particularly happy at his pride and joy being called a dump, so a chorus of boos come out of his corner of the arena. Amazingly, the heat seems to spill over, as a few others pick up on the boos. A noteworthy piece of information, to be sure…

Flash: And that’s why I’m out here. I saw that clown George Sand and his woman out here jawing, saying that they were worthy of a title shot. How about you wait until you WIN your match before you run your mouths about how worthy you are? All I see is an 0-1 record, Sand! I just picked myself up a win, and as I see it, I deserve first shot at Beckett’s title – second if you count that joke of a reporter, which I don’t. So Beckett, I want a shot at you next month at RCW Code Red! You said you weren’t going to hide from anyone Beckett, so don’t go hiding from me! You’re on call, Beckett! On call! You’ll see that I’m not just some flash in the pan – I’m the real deal!

RATING: 52

============================

Problems For The Kid

Backstage, Kid Fantastic is changing, just finishing getting into his street clothes after his match. Still wearing his mask over his street clothes, he throws the rest of his costume into an LL Bean backpack with the initials KF on it – either he got his own backpack for this, he chose his own initials intentionally, or he’s a huge fan of coincidence. Speaking of coincidences, as he opens the door, he opens it right into the back of Kurt Lauderdale, who’s fiddling with his cell phone, looking for a phone number. Kid Fantastic murmurs “sorry” and goes to wander off, but a sharp rebuke from Lauderdale sends KF whirling around

Lauderdale: Hey kid, what the hell do you think you’re doing?

Fantastic: Um…nothing. I’m just on my way back home.

Lauderdale: What do you think you’re doing just slamming doors into me like that? How about a little respect, huh?

Fantastic: I…I said I was sorry, man. My bad, you know?

Lauderdale: No, I don’t know! Explain it to me!

Fantastic: Um….what?

Lauderdale: Shut the hell up and get out of my sight, you little bitch!

Fantastic: Fine….whatever…..

Kid Fantastic turns around and starts turning to the door, but before he can take more than two steps, Lauderdale comes slamming into Fantastic from behind, knocking him down. The much bigger Lauderdale grabs Fantastic by the back of his mask and yanks him up before throwing him face-first into the cement wall. Kid Fantastic crumples against the wall, his cheek resting on the cool wall. Lauderdale grabs him by the back of the head again and starts slamming him skull-first into the wall once, twice, three, four, five times! He yanks a completely defenseless Kid Fantastic to his feet, then twirls and throws him into a pile of equipment and boxes, which come raining down on him. Lauderdale starts forward again, but seeing the boxes cascading down on a buried Kid Fantastic seems to be enough for him. He walks off, happily muttering something in a deep voice as one last box falls off, capping off the pile on top of a disappeared and motionless (presumably) Kid Fantastic.

RATING: 50

============================

Katsushi Takemura vs. George Sand

George Sand, accompanied by a somewhat worried Francoise, is the first one out. Her voice can clearly be heard above the music playing in the background – I’m not sure whether it’s an indictment of our speakers or her voice, to be honest.

Francoise: Be careful, George! Don’t go TOO all-out!

George has a reply, but I can’t hear it from my position – I assume it’s the same thing I’m wondering, which is, how can you have different degrees of ‘going all-out’? As I wonder this, Katsushi Takemura comes walking down to the ring very, very plainly. The audience has no reaction to him whatsoever. We’ll need to do something about that at some point. The two men square each other up, then go into a tie up. Both men try to gain the advantage, but it ends in a draw. They try again, with the same result. They lock up a third time, but this time Takemura nails a knee to Sand’s stomach before flipping him over, getting a round of polite applause from the audience. Takemura drops down and tries to apply an armbar, but Sand wriggles away and locks Takemura into a facelock.

Takemura manages to battle out of the facelock with some right hands, and the two start trading chops with each other. After a particularly vicious-sounding chop from Takemura to Sand’s exposed chest, getting a huge ‘WHOOOO!’ from Earl, Takemura backs George into a corner and takes him up top. He hooks the arm and goes for a superplex, but Sand blocks it before sending Takemura to the ground. George comes flying off with a knee drop aimed at Takemura’s head, but Katsushi dodges and Sand’s right knee slams into the canvas with a vicious thud. Takemura wastes no time and goes for the pen, roughly pulling up on Sand’s knee as he does to increase the pain. 1………2…..Sand kicks out, but his knee is clearly injured!

Takemura doesn’t need an instruction manual at this point, immediately going to work on the leg. Sand cries out in pain, and Francoise tries not to flip out on the outside, as Takemura applies a basic leglock, putting as much torque on the knee as he can. After a minute, Sand manages to wrap his fingers around the ropes. As the ref calls for the break, a now-standing Takemura pulls Sand off the ropes by the injured leg, then extends the right knee back toward Sand’s head, a direction it was absolutely not supposed to go into. Takemura runs off the ropes and goes for a corkscrew elbow, but Sand manages to roll out of the way. He pulls himself up on the ropes and sees Takemura charging at him once again. Sand ducks down and back bodydrops Katsushi Takemura out of the ring, all the way to the floor below! As Francoise, just a couple feet away, looks a little concerned for Takemura’s health at this point, Sand climbs to the top rope, waiting for Takemura to get up. As Katsushi starts to stagger to his feet, Sand comes flying off the top, nailing a corkscrew plancha, sending both men to the ground!

After a few seconds, Sand is the first one up and rolls Takemura into the ring. He goes for the cover – 1……….2………….no, Takemura kicks out! Sand gets up, but Takemura lashes out with a sweep kick, sending Sand back to the canvas. Both men rest for a moment before getting up, reaching their feet at almost the same moment. They lock up once again, with Takemura getting the better of it, thanks to Sand’s bad wheel. He drills Sand with a hard right forearm, then gets him into position, looking to hit the brainbuster and end the match. He tries to lift Takemura, but Sand wraps his bad leg around Takemura’s, blocking the move! As Sand screams out in pain, Takemura tries three more times, but fails to get him up. As Takemura slumps ever so slightly after the third attempt, Sand shakes off the hold, elbows Takemura squarely in the face, and scoops Katsushi up. He gets him into position, and then plants him with the scoop piledriver (Juvi driver) that he calls the Sands of Time! Francoise, recognizing the move, screams on as Sand drags himself on top of Takemura and covers! 1…………..2…………….3! Francoise comes charging into the ring as George Sand staggers to his feet, with the referee raising his hand in victory as RCW No-Sell The Sabbath comes to a close!

WINNER: George Sand

RATING: 54

CROWD: 19

MATCH: 90(!!!)

OVERALL: 50

[rockyoursox]

JUNE 3, 2006

RCW ‘HEADQUARTERS’

I had convinced Sophie to step foot in my apartment for more than 3 minutes today, telling her we needed to go over a lot of stuff for the fed. She sounded skeptical, but I told her I had hired a maid service, which was enough to get her over. It wasn’t TRUE, per se – the building had mandated a maid service for me after all the crap, but the moral was that apartment 423 was now perfectly clean and ready to receive visitors. I missed the smell of stale pizza, but I guess pine forest would grow on me too.

Sophie came in with a distinct look of relief on her face and plopped down in the one comfortable chair in the place. Goddamn bitch always did that – when I worked for Fidelity, I had to give her a nicer chair than I had. The other secretaries at Fidelity hated her with a blinding passion for getting such a nice setup out of me – I swear that chair cost Fidelity hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost productivity during the years Sophie and I were there. I would have taken the chair away, but it would have meant me throwing Sophie out with it. And that just wasn’t going to happen – despite the $400 leather chair, she was by far the best secretary in the company, and there was no chance I was going to lose her.

I guess the loyalty paid off in the end, since she was willing to come with me and set up Renaissance Championship Wrestling. I was thrilled to have someone to lend a hand with all the administrative stuff. I was miserable at it the entire time I was with Fidelity – I really have no idea how I survived until I got my own secretary. It’s a minor miracle, really. Despite Sophie’s incredible administrative talents, there were two problems with her position. Number one, she knew absolutely nothing about wrestling. She knew Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, and the Rock. That was it. The second problem was that Sophie was rather proud that she knew nothing about wrestling, seeing it as completely juvenile. The conversations could definitely be a little bit grating when Sophie’s hatred for wrestling combined with her secretarial personality – which was exactly what happened today.

Sophie: Hi Bruce, good to see you. Say, do you know how long this is going to take? I have a manicure scheduled for four this afternoon, and you know how hard it is for me to get Mario to take care of my little tootsies!

Me: Yeah, Sophie, I know. Anyways, we should only be about 30 minutes assuming everything adds up, so you’ll make it just fine. So, what do you have for finance numbers?

Sophie: We scraped out a profit last month with the cuts we made, so that’s good. Everyone’s still under contract, although I’m sure most people would like to be used this month.

Me: Yeah, I know – I think we might have made a few mistakes with the people we were hiring. I think it was worth shelling out to get some big names, but we broke the wage cap with a few people. We had said we would keep it at $20,000 or less per wrestler, and we broke it a few times.

Sophie: Yes, YOU did….don’t bring this ‘we’ into the conversation. You know I didn’t hire any of those ugly hairy guys who molest each other.

Me: Of course not, Sophie.

Sophie: But yes, you were right – you broke the wage cap we had set with three different workers, and came close with two others.

Me: Who were the guys who went over?

Sophie: Chance Beckett, Adam Flash, and 2 Dope. Beckett is $23,000 per appearance, Adam Flash is $27,000, and 2 Dope is $29,000 per appearance. Just booking the three of them to be in the same place is a major problem for us.

Me: Yeah, you’re right. There’s not a ton we can do about two of them, though.

Sophie: Beckett…he is the champion of this thing, right?

Me: Yeah. Flash is another guy who could be champion – I really wouldn’t want to lose him.

Sophie: What about 2 Dope…I bet he’s reading Shakespeare and sipping tea right now with a name like that.

Me: I really like his style – still, if someone has to go, I guess it’s him. Cutting him out of the loop should help.

Sophie: It will help, yes, but it will not be enough to get the entire job done. With the increases you made to the advertising budget AGAIN this month…

Me: Oh come on, I barely ticked it up this month!

Sophie: …with those changes, we are spending a lot more money in advertising than we were during our first show, where we used the entire roster and still lost money.

Me: Yeah, you’re right. We’ll have to be creative with our roster usage, I suppose.

Sophie: Yes, it will be a real shame to watch the slightly less expensive ugly meathead pretend to punch the other less expensive ugly meathead.

Me: Yeah, that’ll be a real damn shame, Sophie. A real goddamn shame.

Sophie: And speaking of overpaid meatheads, your winner guy…

Me: You mean Chance?

Sophie: Yes, Chance. He e-mailed the company account last night. He won’t be at the next show.

Me: No Chance for Code Red? Dammit!

Sophie: Code Red – what a cute name. How about ‘Deathzilla Battles Dracula’ for the next one?

Me: Somehow, Sophie, I just don’t see that happening.

Sophie: Your loss. I just know that your wonderful landlord would LOVE the title.

Me: Any changes in Earl’s situation, by the way?

Sophie: No, he is happy with the tickets he gets. He complained about not letting his brothers let in last month, though.

Me: Yeah, I know. There was a clear….mistake….with our ticket guy. Let Earl know that won’t be a problem this month.

Sophie: You know, I’m sure he would love to hear from you himself.

Me: Yeah…..yeah, you’re right. OK, anything else?

Sophie: No sir.

Me: Great. Here’s the show preview – can you get that formatted and put out by tomorrow?

Sophie: Fine, no problem. See you next week Bruce! Mario awaits!

---------------------

OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW CODE RED!

SUNDAY, JUNE 25, 2006

NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH

GEORGE SAND VERSUS ADAM FLASH

With both George Sand and Adam Flash, both losers in RCW’s inaugural title match, picking up wins last month at RCW No-Sell The Sabbath, both have staked a claim to the title shots that Chance Beckett claimed would be plentiful. With Beckett unable to attend Code Red, he has stipulated that his two challengers face each other to truly earn their place in the title match! Will the young Sand prevail and get a shot, or will the veteran Flash earn the one on one title shot he feels he so richly deserves?

FOUR WAY BOUT

KATSUSHI TAKEMURA vs. JOHN WELLINGTON vs. SIMON SANDERS vs. SAM ARTINO

Four of RCW’s finest will do battle in a four corners matchup at RCW Code Red! The winner will be well-positioned to move up in the world and possibly challenge for Chance Beckett’s title! Who will be the lucky man to escape this assuredly hectic match!

TRIPPIN’ HOSTS KID FANTASTIC!

Kid Fantastic is only one of two RCW superstars to pick up wins on each of the first two shows, and the other one has gold wrapped around his waist! When Kid Fantastic joins Dave Tripps for the hottest show in wrestling today, what will he have to say? Will he talk about his 2-0 record, or the attack laid on him by Kurt Lauderdale last month? Show up and find out!

AND MORE!

Many more of your favorite Renaissance Championship Wrestling superstars are scheduled to be at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, NY for RCW Code Red! Twiggy, Fred Laney, and Sweatsuit Steve will all be there to provide some of the top action in wrestling today! Buy your tickets now!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY

RCW CODE RED!

[rockyoursox]

JUNE 25, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL

I was backstage with Sophie, who I had talked into driving into Brooklyn for the show, RCW Code Red. She eyed just about everyone suspiciously as she walked through the backstage area, where the wrestlers were in various stages of costume. After giving perhaps the least approving look of all-time to Twiggy, who was wearing an inside-out tuxedo shirt with a gigantic ketchup stain (god, I hope that was ketchup), Sophie turned me, clearly ready to spout off some inspirational message regarding RCW. However, she was silenced when Kid Fantastic, wearing nothing but his mask and jock, came barreling through the door. Sophie got out the first sound of whatever she was trying to say, but the sound just died in midair as her mouth slacked open, gawking at the fantastic physique of the Kid. He was clearly embarrassed, and I’d assume he blushed under the mask – no real way of knowing, though.

Fantastic: Oh…um…sorry ma’am, I didn’t think we, um, we had any, y’know, women backstage and all…

Sophie continued to gawk downward, coming nowhere near eye contact (or contact with his outstretched hand, for that matter). I figured that this wasn’t going to go much further without someone else saying something, so I jumped in.

Me: Sophie, this is one of our wrestlers, Kid Fantastic. Kid, meet Sophie, my secretary.

Fantastic: Oh, I…..I….pleasure to meet you, Sophie

Sophie: …yeah…..

Fantastic: Um….OK, I gotta go get ready for my match…and stuff. I’ll see you later, Bruce.

Kid Fantastic turned and jogged briskly away from the not-at-all insanely awkward situation, but only wearing his jock, Sophie got a good (and I mean GOOD) look at the vanishing Fantastic. I thought her eyes were going to pop out Looney Toons-style, and I kept an eye out for smoke blowing out of her ears, her eyes turning into slot machines with hearts in them, or small diapered children with bow and arrows floating around.

Me: So Sophie, what do you think of Kid Fantastic?

Sophie: I…I guess he’s pretty good…you know, for an idiot wrestler and all.

Me: Of course. Now why don’t you head over to the main table…

Sophie: Which one?

Me: …the ONLY table and get the paperwork I drew up all sorted out.

As Sophie walked over, keeping her eyes peeled for Kid Fantastic, I just chuckled to myself, glad to see I finally had a card to play with her. I had gotten one person down to see an RCW show – now I just needed to get Jack to come by. He had indeed gone on vacation with his girlfriend Mandy, booking a trip down to St. Croix with a couple of his friends. I was surprised Ellen had let him go on that trip alone with Mandy, but from what I gathered from Jack’s e-mail, it was basically a present for doing so well at the end of last year. She had actually communicated with me without using one of her two (TWO!) $200 an hour lawyers that were handling our divorce for the first time a week ago informing me of some college visits that she was planning on taking Jack on, and wanted to know if I could handle one of them in mid July. I had agreed, looking to salvage any sort of cooperation that might exist between us. I was looking forward to seeing Jack then, but I was definitely disappointed that he wouldn’t get to see my show in July either. I had to get him to my August show – otherwise, school started and I lost any chance I had at grabbing him until his Christmas break, at least.

As I was off in my own little world, I didn’t even notice Katsushi coming up behind me, and I think I nearly jumped out of my cross-trainers when he tapped me on the shoulder. As I twirled around, I comically raised my hand like I thought I could take whoever it was - I’m pretty sure everyone, including Sophie and Francoise, could school me.

Takemura: I am very sorry, Mr. Hawkins. My mistake.

Me: Oh…no problem, Katsushi. What is it?

Takemura paused for a moment, readying himself before talking to me.

Takemura: I am very glad that Renaissance Champion Wrestling has let me wrestle for them, and I thank you. However, I am wondering if tonight maybe I can do more than wrestle.

Me: What exactly do you mean, Mr. Takemura?

Takemura: I am wondering if maybe I could take a turn on the microphone and talk to the people in the crowd. I am sure they would be liking to learn more about Katsushi Takemura, and I think that I can do a very good job talking to them and letting them learn more about me.

I flashed back to the last couple shows, where Katsushi had gotten almost no crowd reaction whatsoever, despite his extremely strong performances in the ring.

Me: I don’t know, Kat…you didn’t really light the crowd on fire the last couple of shows…

Takemura: Oh, I know, Mister Hawkins. That is why I am wondering if I can speak to them, so they can learn more about Katsushi Takemura and have a reason to chant for me like they do for other people.

I hemmed and hawed for a moment before coming to a decision:

Me: OK, fine, you can go on before we officially start things off and try to say your piece to the crowd. Just make sure to be lose out there, and put over how good you are in the ring. Don’t slip into Asian or anything though, you’d totally lose them

Katsushi frowned for just a moment, which surprised me, but then shook his head and gave me a small smile.

Takemura: Thank you very much, Mr. Hawkins! Now the crowd will finally have their chance to get to know Katsushi Takemura and begin to cheer for me!

As Takemura headed to the ring, the generic music Sound Guy had whipped up played over our tinny speaker system. I gotta say, for someone who calls himself the Sound Guy, I expected a little better taste in music composition. This sounded like it had been background music in Dominatrix Queens 28. As the music went off, and Katsushi got ready to talk, I just hoped I hadn’t made a big mistake in sending him out there with a live microphone.

===============

RCW CODE RED

JUNE 25, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

Katsushi Speaks!

It didn’t take long for me to get a resounding ‘yes’ to that question, as Katsushi could have started a little bit stronger.

Takemura: Ladies and gentlemen, I know I have been a loser sometimes in Renaissance Champion Wrestling, but I would like to tell you why I am someone who you should cheer for!

OK – one sentence in, and he had called himself a loser and bungled the full name of the promotion. Nowhere to go but up, right?

Takemura: There are many reasons why you should like me. The first of those reasons is that I enjoy you, the people who pay to watch RCW! And if I enjoy you, you enjoy me! That is the first reason why you should cheer for me! The second reason you should yell for me is that I am a nice man, and I do not hurt people unless I need to in a match, even though I can make people hurt badly.

The crowd of 204 – back to its old size now that Adam Flash knew to let the Polero ‘family’ into the building – was less than impressed with Katsushi’s reasoning, with only a particularly sarcastic whoop of “YEAH WHOOOOOOOO!” coming from the back of the crowd – which was only about 12 feet from Takemura, who clearly noticed the cry. Of course, he reacted positively to it – man, that Asian was one clueless guy.

Takemura: Thank you, RCW fan! I hope that all your friend fans will cheer for me too! And I am sure they will when they are done hearing my third and best reason to cheer for me as their favorite! My third reason is that Katsushi Takemura will someday be the champion of this wrestling place, and then you can say that you are friends of the champion! So that is why you should cheer for me!

Near silence meets Takemura, but the one idiot in the back (who HAS to be related to Earl) continued to whoop it up, giving Katsushi a giant smile on his face. As he thanked the crowd and handed his microphone to Joe Wheeler, I ran my hands through my rapidly-thinning hair and realized that we needed to do SOMETHING about Takemura.

RATING: 30

===============

Adam Flash Hits The Ring!

Fortunately, with Adam Flash on his way down to the ring, the clearly negative murmuring in the crowd ebbed away as they watched Flash, whom some knew as their ticket taker. However, those who had been at the last couple of shows remembered Flash as the dastardly villain he was who cheated to beat happy-go-lucky youngster Simon Sanders, and the more vocal fans (led by Earl once again) let Flash have a round of boos that would have been quite deafening if more than 10 people had joined in. However, it did come off as a minor annoyance, which is some of the best heat we’ve gotten from the crowd so far. Flash got into the ring, took the microphone away from Joe Wheeler, and got ready to lay a big helping of his idea of ‘truth’ on the crowd.

Flash: Listen up, people, and everyone in the back better listen up to! The next RCW World Champion is talking here!

A few boos roll down on him, but Flash, that evil man, fails to succumb to the crowd’s visceral hatred.

Flash: Last week, I picked up a win in this ring, 1-2-3. And at Kick Start, during the Wlrd Title match, I was never pinned! The promo king who was out here earlier, HE was the one who got pinned by Beckett! I never lost my shot at the title, and with the win I picked up last week, I think it’s more than clear that I am the most deserving of the next title shot!

Flash lowers the microphone and paces a little around the ring, seemingly looking for confirmation in the crowd. All he gets is a lot of apathy, and Earl flipping him off.

Flash: Now I want Chance Beckett to get out here right now! At No-Sell The Sabbath, there was a title match to start the show! I want that belt now, and I’m sure as hell not waiting until the end of the show to get it! Get out here, Beckett!

Flash puts his hands on his hips, waiting for Beckett to come walking through the curtain. After a few seconds, the curtain parts, but instead, George Sand and Francoise come walking through the curtain. The crowd murmurs, wondering where the champ is, as Francoise takes out her own microphone (Sound Guy had a spare lying around) and starts his rebuttal.

Francoise: Hey, Adam Flash, before you make yourself the King of the Universe, how about you take a look at the REAL #1 contender to the RCW World Title, GEORGE SAND!

Flash: Oh come ON, why the hell does he deserve a shot?

Francoise: George was in that World Title match just like you were, and he wasn’t pinned either! He also won his match on the last show too!

Flash: So?

Francoise: Well, there were two differences to how HE won. First of all, he won in the main event against Katsushi Takemura. YOU won in the midcard against Simon Sanders. And secondly, George won clean. You, on the other hand, cheated!

George smiles at Francoise’s side as Flash glowers in the ring before shouting back:

Flash: So the hell what? A win over Sushi Boy doesn’t mean anything! The guy’s 0-2 here! We all know that I’m the one who deserves the next title shot!

Francoise is about to reply, but George puts his hand on her shoulder before taking the microphone from her.

Sand: Hey Flash, this is how it’s gonna happen. Apparently Chance Beckett ain’t gonna be here tonight, so neither of us are getting that title shot we want. But we’re both here, right?

Flash: What are you saying, jackass? You want a piece of me?

Sand: Damn right I do! Me and you, one on one. Whoever wins, a.k.a. me, gets the title shot we want at Chance Beckett. The other one, a.k.a. you, bitches and moans until they need a new tampon. You game or what?

Flash goes through an exaggerated routine of mulling the question over in the ring, scratching his head and rubbing his chin. He fakes adjusting a pair of glasses, then brings the microphone back up, a spark in his eye.

Flash: OK Sand, you’re on! Tonight, me and you! And once I’m done with you…and when I’m done with her…I’m going to next month’s show and winning myself the RCW World Title!

Francoise: The road to the title goes through George Sand, Flash! And just like grains of sand, that title shot is gonna slip right through your fingers!

RATING: 52

NOTES: Adam Flash gained overness from this segment. George Sand gained overness from this segment.

===============

Fred Laney vs. Sweatsuit Steve

Sweatsuit Steve is the first one out for this opening match of the evening. Tonight, he’s decked out in a royal purple sweatsuit with giant gold lettering on the back, spelling out his name. As announcer Joe Wheeler wonders if Steve is paying tribute to the LSU Tigers being in the Final Four, the god-awful rendition of “Prince Ali” that Fred Laney did on the last show kicks up. I worriedly look around for a video screen or a lawyer wearing mouse ears, but all I see is Fred Laney parading in from the back, marching in time to “Fred Laney” (at least I assume that’s what he titled it). Laney rolls into the ring and stares down Steve as the bell rings to start the match. It doesn’t take long for Laney, who looks to be in significantly better shape than he was when he debuted a couple of months ago, to take control of the match with a huge right cross, a move he’s taken to calling the Wonderpunch. The referee takes to calling it an illegal closed fist and threatens to DQ Laney, but Steve takes advantage of the distraction and rolls Laney up with a schoolboy! 1………..2………….no! Laney kicks out at just the last second. He LEAPS to his feet, enraged at being caught napping like that. A clothesline takes Steve back down, and the next 30 seconds consist of Laney laying boot after boot after boot into the unprotected side of Sweatsuit Steve. After planting Steve squarely in the middle of the ring with a DDT, Laney heads to the corner and lines up his innocent victim as he staggers to his feet. As Steve staggers around, trying to find his opponent, Fred launches himself through the air and crushes Steve with a spectacular spear! Laney drives him straight into the canvas and immediately rolls into the pin, even hooking the leg. 1……….2……….3, and it’s all over! Fred Laney picks up a win in his first-ever RCW match!

RATING: 45

CROWD: 25

MATCH: 66

===============

"Trippin'" With: Kid Fantastic!

As the show continues on, Sound Guy and Mike Hunter help Dave Tripps lift the Trippin’ ‘set’ into the ring, still consisting of three broken-down chairs and a desk. Never let it be said that RCW doesn’t know production values. Dave Tripps finishes loading the equipment into the ring, then throws on a sport coat and slips behind his desk, looking sweaty but ready to go.

Tripps: Hello, everyone! I’d like to thank everyone here in my studio audience for coming out to support the fasting-growing talk sensation in the wrestling world, Trippin’! Starring me, Dave Tripps! After last week’s controversial episode, I would like to make a public apology for my actions against Chance Beckett. It was wrong of me to leap over my desk and attempt to destroy my welcome guest, and it was even worse of me to do that after the generous claim of Mr. Beckett to offer up title shots to all those who were worthy. Let me assure you that on all future episodes of Trippin’, such an incident will not be repeated.

Tripps lets out a loud deep breath, seemingly happy to have this off his chest.

Tripps: Now, onto happier notes. This week on Trippin’, we have a guest who took quite a beating last week at the hands of Kurt Lauderdale. He is also undefeated in Renaissance Championship Wrestling competition, having picked up wins on each of RCW’s first two shows! Please welcome to the Trip, Mr. Kid Fantastic!

Kid Fantastic comes walking down the ramp, looking happy to be out there. He takes a seat across from Dave Tripps, who’s smiling widely at his guest.

Tripps: Welcome to Trippin’, Kid Fantastic!

Fantastic: I’m honored to be on the show, Dave. Thank you for having me.

Tripps: So Kid, how does it feel to be one of only two men to go 2-0 in RCW action so far?

Fantastic: It feels really good, Dave. I haven’t been a pro wrestler for a particularly long time, and I thought I might be a little overmatched against some guys who had been around for a long time. Still, with the way I’ve been winning so far, I’m making a lot of money, and it can go a long way towards paying for my education.

Tripps: That brings me to my next question: why wrestle to earn money instead of picking up a normal job?

Fantastic: Well, I could have just worked as a desk jockey at the campus library, but that’s not how I wanted to do things. I like wrestling, and most people don’t get to work at something they actually enjoy. So in that case, I’m actually quite lucky. And secondly, the timing is perfect. The shows are almost always on weekends, so I can concentrate on school during the week.

Tripps: He can boast victories over school and wrestlers alike! However, last month at No-Sell The Sabbath, you ran into the one defeat you’ve had to deal with recently: a vicious beating at the hands of one Kurt Lauderdale. How do you feel about what he did you?

Fantastic: Honestly, I have no idea why he chose to do what he did last month. It was a completely unprovoked and unnecessary action, and one that certainly won’t make him a lot of friends around here in RCW. He’s just a bully.

Tripps: A bully, you say?

Fantastic: That’s exactly what he is. Clearly he’s got some kind of problem with himself, and he decided to take it out on me. We read all about guys like him in my Intro to Psych class. He’s a classic case of low self-esteem.

Tripps: Well, quite the statement from Kid Fantastic. But now, as you can see by the empty seat we have here, it’s time to hear the OTHER side of the story!

Fantastic: What?

Tripps: Would everyone please join me in giving a big Trippin’ welcome to Mr. Kurt Lauderdale!

Fantastic: WHAT!?!

Kid Fantastic can only alternate between an annoyed glare at Tripps and a nervous glance at Kurt Lauderdale walking purposefully down to the ring. Lauderdale slides into the ring and takes a seat next to Kid Fantastic

Lauderdale: Thanks for having me Dave. Good to see you again, Kid.

Lauderdale spits out the last word, looking disgusted as he says it. Kid Fantastic’s eyes flit back and forth anxiously as Kurt Lauderdale grins maniacally at him.

Tripps: Glad you could make it, Kurt. Now, I’m not sure that you heard backstage, but just a moment ago, Mr. Fantastic here made some comments regarding you. He called you a ‘bully’, said you had ‘low self-esteem’, that your attack was ‘completely unprovoked’, and that you ‘clearly have some kind of problem’. How do you feel about those comments?

Lauderdale smiles fakely, then starts talking in a sleazy, car-salesman kind of voice

Lauderdale: Dave, I thought they were very hurtful comments, and they were really not necessary at all. Last week, this guy mouthed off to me backstage, and he got what he deserved. If you’re gonna talk to me like that, you better hope your bite’s as good as your bark!

Fantastic: Oh come on, that’s ridiculous! I didn’t do anything to you!

Tripps: You’ll get your turn, Mr. Fantastic. You were saying, Kurt?

Lauderdale: I don’t see how anyone could call me a bully. I’d call you self-absorbed and thoughtless, personally.

Fantastic: Shut your damn mouth!

Lauderdale: You want another round, idiot? I’ll make last month look like a walk in the goddamn park!

Fantastic: I’m not scared of you! You’re not just gonna push me around!

Lauderdale: OK, punk, that’s it! Let’s go!

And for the second week in a row, Trippin’ degenerates into a brawl. Lauderdale and Kid Fantastic jump each other and start rolling around on the canvas, throwing punches at each other. Tripps goes leaping over the desk, helping to break up the fight. Mike Hunter, Sound Guy, and Joe Wheeler all get in the ring as well, dragging the two men apart from each other. As they jaw back and forth at each other, the still-live microphones catch Lauderdale screaming at Kid Fantastic.

Lauderdale: You’re on! Tonight! I’ll see you later tonight!

Fantastic: You’re going down, asshole!

RATING: 50

NOTES: Kurt Lauderdale gained overness from this segment. Kid Fantastic gained overness from this segment. Dave Tripps gained overness from this segment.

===============

John Wellington vs. Katsushi Takemura vs. Sam Artino vs. Simon Sanders

Once the melee in the ring has been broken up and the ring cleared of the set, we’re set with a four-way match. Takemura is first to act, throwing himself at Artino. Artino’s too powerful for him, however, and throws him into the corner before slugging away. Sanders and Wellington, who met in RCW’s first-ever match, look at that display before tangling up with each other, both of them wanting to stay away from big Sam Artino. Sanders tosses Wellington to the outside, then heads to the outside apron, waiting for Wellington to get up. Wellington staggers to his feet, cursing under his breath, while Sanders plays to the crowd. Wellington turns, then gets taken down by a Sanders asai moonsault! The two are down on the outside as Sam Artino has Takemura locked firmly in the bearhug, squishing the life out of him. Takemura manages to finally escape with a series of side elbows to the head, then rolls out of the ring. He and Sanders begin brawling as Wellington is still down from the moonsault. Artino slides out, grabs the downed Wellington, rolls him into the ring, and goes for the cover. 1……..2……..no, Wellington kicks out! Artino picks him up and puts him into a bearhug of his own as Takemura rolls Sanders into the ring as well. Takemura grabs Sanders and lifts him up, hitting him with the brainbuster! At nearly the same time, Sam Artino lifts Wellington up before planting him with the Canadian backbreaker! Both men go for the cover at nearly the same instant, forcing referee Mike Hunter to choose! He slides in next to Takemura, counting his pinfall. Artino sees this and frees himself from Wellington’s limbs, trying to break the count. 1………..2…………..3! JUST before Artino can break up the pinfall, Katsushi Takemura picks up the pinfall for the win!

RATING: 51

CROWD: 29

MATCH: 74

===============

More Trouble In Paradise?

We cut backstage to George Sand and Francoise, who are walking away from the curtain, having watched the four-way bout won by Takemura.

Francoise: That brainbuster looks like it really hurts, George…you’re really lucky you didn’t get hit with that last month.

Sand: Yeah, I don’t know if I could have kicked out of that one.

Francoise: You know, maybe you should just quit while you’re out ahead and you still have your health, you know? My dad still said he could get you into the training program at his office and all.

Sand: Not now Franny, not now. I got a huge match tonight, and I just don’t have time for all of this junk. I can’t beat Adam Flash if I’m concentrating on this stuff with you. And if you distract me like that, THAT’S when the chances of me getting hurt go up.

Francoise: But the chances of you getting hurt only exist if you get into that ring, George!

Sand: Not NOW! I have a chance to get a title shot, Francoise! You know how much I’d love to be champion of a promotion, especially if it meant beating a guy like Chance Beckett to earn it!

Francoise: Fine, George, fine.

Sand: C’mon Franny, you know I want you out there with me! And you’re the best scout I could ask for! You gave me a ton of great info on Takemura last time! I need that same information from you again!

Francoise: Well….I did notice a couple of things…

Sand: Great! C’mon, let’s go over our strategy!

RATING: 59

NOTES: George Sand gained overness from this segment. Francoise gained overness from this segment.

===============

Kid Fantastic vs. Kurt Lauderdale

Kurt Lauderdale is the first man in the ring, stalking from corner to corner like a caged animal. Kid Fantastic’s music hits, and he comes sprinting down the aisle, wasting no time. He launches himself under the bottom rope, springs up, and starts swinging away at Lauderdale. The two go into an all-out brawl, swinging away at each other, scratching and clawing for any edge. Kid Fantastic hits the one aerial move of the match with a missile dropkick off the top rope, taking Lauderdale to the mat. With Lauderdale grounded, Kid Fantastic tries another top rope move, but Lauderdale rolls out of the way. He hits Kid Fantastic with a low stomp, then lays the boots to him. Kid Fantastic manages to rally back however, and eventually lands a series of rights before hitting a dropkick that sends Lauderdale over the top rope and to the outside! Kid Fantastic goes sprinting to the other end of the ring, then goes running at full blast before taking off through the air for a suicide dive. However, Lauderdale has grabbed a chair from ringside, and swings it baseball-style straight into Fantastic’s head! Kid Fantastic crumples into a heap on the ground as Mike Hunter calls for the bell, giving Kid Fantastic a DQ win. However, Lauderdale isn’t done, as he swings the chair again, crushing Kid Fantastic’s head into the mat. I heard Sophie gasp from behind me as Lauderdale swung one last time, leaving Kid Fantastic completely motionless on the ground. The crowd boos Lauderdale heavily as he drops the chair and swaggers to the back, looking very proud of himself. Something tells me the Kid isn’t gonna be quite as happy about making it to 3-0….

RATING: 54

CROWD: 33

MATCH: 75

===============

Twiggy On The Stick!

The crowd was still buzzing after the vicious beating, but the sight of Twiggy, still wearing his inside-out tuxedo shirt, definitely gets their attention. He takes about five steps out from behind the curtain, then decides that the aisle seems to be a perfectly good place to talk from.

Twiggy: Fred Laney is a jerk! He’s a big mean jerk and I don’t like him!

The crowd isn’t quite sure what to make of it, but Twiggy doesn’t give them any extra time to think about it.

Twiggy: He’s so stupid! He was very mean to me, even though I didn’t do anything wrong! I didn’t know he had a monopoly on orange! I like orange things! I liked his orange boot, so I was talking with it, and he took it from me! Then I liked his orange bag, and he speared me for talking to that! He’s just jealous because his orange found friends and wouldn’t talk to him anymore because he was much meaner to his orange than I was!

The crowd is literally dead silent at this point, but at least they’re hanging on his every word.

Twiggy: So Fred Laney, me and my friends Boot and Bag have a very important request for you. Please, stop keeping all the orange for yourself! Share the orange! FREE THE ORANGE! And all of you, keep the orange free! Thank you!

Twiggy walks to the back, practically skipping, as the crowd sits back and tries to digest what they just heard. I hid the orange I had peeled and grabbed an apple instead.

RATING: 47

NOTES: Twiggy gained overness from this segment

===============

RCW WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH

Adam Flash vs. George Sand

George Sand and Francoise are the first to enter, and they get down to the ring with Francoise appearing to have calmed down once again. As Adam Flash enters, Francoise points at him and starts talking quickly to a nodding Sand, going over last-minute strategy. Flash doesn’t waste any time, sliding into the ring and slamming into Sand while Francoise is still at his side. Sand and Flash start trading punches, knees, chops, and just about anything else they have as Francoise rolls out of the ring, breathing heavily.

Sand and Flash are both breathing heavily as well as they try to get the upper hand. Flash finally gets a rollup, but Sand reverses it, and the two men trade two counts back and forth before Flash finally breaks free. The two men leap up and pause, receiving the obligatory round of applause from the fans. Sand lashes out with a big right, then whips Flash into the ropes and back body drops him. Sand tries to capitalize, going for a running dropkick, but Flash rolls out of the way. He grabs Sand from behind, still on the ground, and locks on a rear sleeper, slowing the pace of the match down. Francoise yells on encouragement from the sideline as George finally powers to his feet, elbows his way out of the sleeper hold, and clotheslines Flash down.

Flash is up quickly, but Sand is on the attack. Sand beats down Flash, then whips him into the corner. After a quick run of chops, Sand lifts Flash into a sitting position on the turnbuckle. He climbs up with him, scoops Flash up, and leaps off with a backflip! Sand keeps his hold on Flash, and sends him crashing into the mat with a beautiful fallaway moonsault from the top rope! Sand presses down for the pin as the referee slides into position! 1………….2……………..NO! Flash kicks out at JUST the last second, and the crowd moans, thinking a #1 contender had been decided.

Francoise, who might not have started breathing again after seeing that move, doesn’t look particularly happy to see George climbing the turnbuckle again. She yells something out to him, causing George to yell down to her. However, the distraction is enough for Adam Flash to run up and crotch Sand on the turnbuckle! Sand moans in agony, and Flash follows with an incredible enziguri, using the bottom turnbuckle as leverage, that connects squarely with the head of Sand, who goes tumbling off the top rope all the way to the outside! Francoise screams and goes to tend to her man, but Adam Flash is quickly outside and shoves Francoise out of the way. He goes to grab Sand, but Francoise comes rushing back in, grabbing at Flash angrily. This doesn’t sit well with Flash, and he roughly shoves her into the guardrail. Suddenly, Flash’s eyes bug out as Sand connects with a BRUTAL low blow from behind. Flash drops to his knees, but an enraged Sand drags him to his feet and rolls him into the ring. Sand grabs the still-reeling Flash and scoops him up before planting him square in the middle of the ring with the Sands of Time! The Juvi driver has Flash out cold, and Sand makes the cover! 1……………2…………………..3! George Sand leaps to his feet, and a recovered Francoise rushes in and grabs George as Mike Hunter raises the hand of the new #1 Contender to the RCW World Title to end the show!

RATING: 57

CROWD: 40

MATCH: 75

OVERALL: 52

[Not Henry Cavill]

Just read what was there, and I think it's got a lot of potential. In the meantime, Twiggy is my hero and I will make sure to free the orange.

[rockyoursox]

JULY 14, 2006

RCW “HEADQUARTERS”

I spent the Fourth of July, the most patriotic day of the year, sitting in front of my television watching the fireworks with a Miller Lite and a dirty t-shirt. God Bless America. I had made plans with an old friend to go up to Westchester and have a good BBQ, but that had been nixed. Apparently Ellen had RSVP’d first, and I wasn’t far enough along yet. Putting me on the same turf as her would just end up leading to a pissing contest, and most likely one I would lose. My friends were investment bankers, and there had been a lot of skepticism when I decided to hold wrestling shows in a Brooklyn bingo hall. They still talked to me, but I’m sure the conversations when I was out of earshot were less than complimentary.

It didn’t matter, though. I was converting Sophie into a believer. After her little run-in with Kid Fantastic backstage, she had shown an increasing interest in what we were actually doing. She even asked for a wrestling tape of mine, saying she wanted to learn more about what we were doing. She returned it disgustedly a day later, saying it was total garbage. Amazingly, Jim Duggan and Jake Roberts didn’t inspire the same reaction that Kid Fantastic did. I had already set a tape aside with a bunch of Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell matches on it for her next time. I wasn’t quite sure why the hell I still had that tape lying around, but I figured Sophie would at least watch that one. Still, it was progress. And she kept asking about Kid Fantastic – I got the feeling I’d have a permanent backstage assistant.

Jack and I had gone to Seton Hall earlier in the week, like Ellen had wanted. Jack didn’t seem too interested in the school – I could barely get him to talk about the college stuff at all. Of course, he was my son, so that wasn’t really a surprise. Still, I liked to pretend that he was a buddy of mine, like how I was with my father. Still, after a couple of awkward hours in the car, we had gotten back to my apartment, and Jack had a chance to watch a tape of Code Red. He had the following points:

- Twiggy’s the man (and totally reminded him of this one guy from his school)

- Kid Fantastic is still a stupid name

- Kurt Lauderdale’s chair shots were awesome

- Chance Beckett should have been there

- Francoise’s a total killjoy

- Sam Artino sucks it hard

The last one pissed me off a bit – anything that related to Bruno Sammartino couldn’t be bad! Other than that, I was glad his thinking was generally positive. RCW was doing pretty well, and we had a lot of momentum heading into the next show. I let Jack take a look at the booking plans for the next show, and he seemed pretty interested in them. Maybe I could actually get him down to Brooklyn this time….

=============================

OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW BASTARDS ON PARADE

WORLD TITLE MATCH

CHANCE BECKETT © vs. GEORGE SAND

With a huge win over veteran Adam Flash at RCW Code Red, George Sand earned himself a shot at Chance Beckett’s RCW World Title! Will Sand be ready to climb to the top of the Renaissance Championship Wrestling summit, or will Chance Beckett remain king of the mountain?

UPDATE ON KID FANTASTIC

Last month, Kid Fantastic was the target of a brutal attack by Kurt Lauderdale and a steel chair. The Kid was left unconscious, and was unresponsive to initial treatments by trainer Helen Canada. At Bastards on Parade, we’ll have the latest news on the extent of Kid Fantastic’s injuries.

DAVE TRIPPS vs. JOHN WELLINGTON

We’re used to seeing Dave Tripps behind the Trippin’ news desk, but today, Tripps steps into the ring against John Wellington. Will Tripps be able to make the adjustments after his loss to Chance Beckett two months ago, or will Wellington walk out with a victory under his belt?

SAM ARTINO vs. KATSUSHI TAKEMURA

Takemura picked up a huge win against three other men last month, putting himself on the fast track to a title shot. However, the old-school Sam Artino stands in his path at Bastards on Parade. Can Takemura keep the momentum moving forward?

AND MORE!

Fred Laney, Twiggy, Nick Collyer, and more should be present at RCW Bastards on Parade on Sunday, July 30th from the famous Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, New York! Buy your tickets now – sales are limited!

Sunday, July 30, 2005

Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY

RCW BASTARDS ON PARADE!

[rockyoursox]

RCW BASTARDS ON PARADE

JULY 30, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

===============

Kurt Lauderdale Rips Kid Fantastic

Sound Guy’s craptastic RCW theme song pumps through the speakers, signaling the start of RCW Bastards on Parade. Fortunately, the music quickly cuts out and changes to Kurt Lauderdale’s theme song. Lauderdale comes strutting out the entranceway, and the crowd receives him with a good chorus of boos after his vicious attack on Kid Fantastic at the last show. Lauderdale seems to revel in the boos as he walks to the ring, a violent smirk on his face. He slides into the ring and snatches the mic from Joe Wheeler’s outstretched hand, sending Wheeler darting backwards.

Lauderdale: I’m sure one of you people, who would somehow be even stupider than the rest of you, is worried about Kid Fantastic’s health. Well, I figured that I’d come out here and update you on the little twerp’s condition myself!

Boos rain down on Lauderdale, and a sign (yes, an actual sign – we’re making the big time!) reading ‘FANTASTIC 4 CHAMP’ gets waved even more wildly.

Lauderdale: Shut up, you goddamn burnouts! Anyways, last time you saw Kid Fantastic, he was lying unconscious right outside this ring. And right now, he’s still lying down – in a hospital bed! He’s been in there since I beat the hell out of him, and he might never be coming out! I might as well have killed the guy! So much for the precious Kid Fantastic!

A small “Kurt sucks!” chant starts up from Earl’s corner of the crowd, which is slightly bigger than before at 227 people. Yay for more people.

Kurt: Chant all you want, idiots! Kid Fantastic might be 3-0, but the third time wasn’t the charm for Kid Sucktastic! And after that beating, he’s not going to be picking up win number four anytime soon. Now enjoy this spectacular Kid Fantastic-free show….I know I will.

RATING: 39

===============

Dave Tripps vs. John Wellington

A rare occurance tonight, as Dave Tripps is scheduled for in-ring action against John Wellington. The two men start brawling from the get-go, neither of them wasting any time in the match. Wellington takes the advantage early, outbrawling Tripps before hitting a simple snap suplex. Tripps spends the next few minutes on his back, trying to get back to his feet before being slapped back down by Wellington’s barrage of simple moves. Snapmares, dropkicks, and lariats keep sending Tripps back down. Finally, Tripps gets the advantage back, reversing a snapmare into a jawbreaker onto his shoulder, flooring Wellington. Tripps, finally on the offensive, immediately tries to hit his finishing move, a double underhook DDT, but Wellington powers out with elbows to Tripps’ side. Tripps manages to keep the momentum, however, planting Wellington face-first with a drop toehold before running in from the side with a sliding dropkick straight to the side of Wellington’s face. He goes to roll up Wellington, but Wellington kicks out after 2. Tripps goes for the cover again, but Wellington is too fast, grabbing Tripps and taking him down with a side headlock takedown. Both spring to their feet, with Tripps lunging forward with a clothesline attempt. Wellington ducks underneath it, then delivers a brutal right uppercut to the jaw of Tripps, sending his head snapping upwards. Before Tripps falls to the mat, Wellington quickly grabs him and nails him into the mat with the E. Coli Driver! Mike Hunter drops into position! 1…………..2……………..3! John Wellington picks up a surprisingly hard-fought win against Dave Tripps!

WINNER: John Wellington

RATING: 50

MATCH: 66

CROWD: 35

===============

Kurt Lauderdale/Fred Laney vs. Twiggy/Nick Collyer

This marks the first tag team matchup in RCW history, with Kurt Lauderdale and Fred Laney teaming up to take on the not as logical pairing of Twiggy and Nick Collyer. Nick keeps a safe distance from Twiggy, who today is wearing an orange jean jacket over lederhosen and jabbering into thin air about polyester’s demonic ways. Laney and Lauderdale look at each other, then quickly double-team Twiggy, sending him over the top rope and to the outside with a hard thud. Collyer tries to come flying in, but instead eats an elbow from Laney, who starts off the match for his team. Collyer shows off his athleticism early, jumping onto the second turnbuckle when Laney tries to whip him into the corner, then jumping off and spiking Laney into the mat with a DDT. Twiggy, now back on the ring apron, celebrates with gusto as Collyer covers: 1…………….2…………no, Laney kicks out! Collyer gets up and runs off the ropes, but a knee to the back from Kurt Lauderdale stops his momentum. As Collyer stumbles, Laney grabs him and lifts him up for a suplex. At the peak, Laney stalls out, then sends Collyer back the way he came, pancaking him face-first into the mat!

Laney tags in Lauderdale, who grabs a crawling Collyer and drags him away from the corner. He goes to flip Collyer over, but Nick pushes off the mat and nails a sweet enziguri to the side of Lauderdale’s head! Collyer pushes himself towards his corner and makes the tag to Twiggy, who was busy watching a balloon stuck in the rafters of the bingo hall. Twiggy snaps out of his gaze just and sees a furious Kurt Lauderdale charging at him. He ducks underneath the clothesline and connects with a knee to Lauderdale’s stomach, then does a sunset flip over the ropes and goes for the rollup on Kurt! However, Lauderdale is way too strong, and stays upright as Twiggy tries furiously, legs waving frantically, to pull him down. Kurt reaches down and snatches Twiggy by the lederhosen, then lifts him up into a gorilla press. Collyer goes up top, looking to aid Twiggy, but Fred Laney hits the ropes, sending Collyer crotch-first into the turnbuckle. Collyer’s agonized moan goes unheard by Lauderdale, who sends Twiggy crashing to the ground with a Death Valley Driver out of the press slam! After hitting the move he calls the Career Killer, he drapes himself lackadaisically over Twiggy for the three count! 1……………….2…………………..3! Fred Laney and Kurt Lauderdale pick up the first tag-team victory in RCW history!

Laney and Lauderdale aren’t done, though. Laney points at Twiggy, then yells at Lauderdale to stand him up. Lauderdale gets him to his wobbly legs, then moves Twiggy back and forth like a red blanket as Laney lines up, looking to spear Twiggy out of his orange-loving boots. Laney goes charging forward and PLANTS Twiggy with a spear, taking him back down to the mat with authority! The two men begin to celebrate, and meet a rough series of boos…that suddenly morph into cheers. Laney and Lauderdale look at each other in confusion, but Lauderdale breaks eye contact first as Kid Fantastic, coming out of the crowd, crushes him with a steel chair shot to the head! Laney immediately drops down and drags Lauderdale out of the ring before Fantastic can lay any more punishment down. Kid Fantastic helps Twiggy up and celebrates with him and Collyer as Fred Laney and Kurt Lauderdale limp to the back as the ‘victors’.

WINNERS: Fred Laney and Kurt Lauderdale

RATING: 51

MATCH: 74

CROWD: 28

===============

Takemura Talks....Again

Katsushi Takemura’s music hits as he heads out for the ring to take on Sam Artino. Takemura comes walking down the aisle with a giant smile on his face, awkwardly high-fiving roughly half the fans by the entrance – he whiffs on the other half. He slides into the ring, but instead of heading to his corner as usual, he instead goes over to Joe Wheeler, says something quietly to him, and takes the microphone out of Wheeler’s surprised hand. Wheeler goes forwards, trying to get his attention, but Takemura turns around, assuring him that everything’s OK. Of course, if Joe could see me backstage, he would know that everything was NOT OK. Takemura’s mic work last show was some of the worst stuff I’ve ever seen – I almost fired him because of it. And in other bad news, we’re already $60 in the hole for the month – I just broke our coffeemaker.

Takemura: Hello to all my fans and welcome here to Renaissance Championship Wrestling and to the show Bastards On Parade! However, I would like to tell all of my fans that when the name of the show is Bastards On Parade, I am not one of the bastards that the show’s name is referring to! I am not a bastard! This is why so many people here in RCW are liking me, as I am not a bastard!

A small “YOU’RE A BASTARD!” *clap clap clapclapclap* chant starts up, but Takemura seems thankfully oblivious to this. I make a note to myself to buy a breathalyzer to test Earl’s newest “cousin”, who is significantly more Asian than anyone else in Earl’s family.

Takemura: Today, I am taking on the man who is named Sam Artino! I do not know him very well, but it would not surprise me if Sam Artino is one of the bastards that our show name has so very thankfully warned all of you about! So to all of my fans: Please make sure to avoid Sam Artino the Bastard as he comes parading down to this ring, because he is a bad bastard man! Thank you, everyone! I am Katsushi Takemura, and I am not a bastard!

That’s it. Something happens, and it happens before our next show.

RATING: 25

===============

Katsushi Takemura vs. Sam Artino

With the stunt that Takemura just pulled, I sent a few instructions to Mike Hunter and Sam Artino for how the match should go down. Artino locked up with Takemura and whispered the directions across – it was obvious when Takemura heard what he said, since he almost fell down out of the lockup. Artino took advantage in the ring, hitting him with a clothesline that nearly took his head off. Artino stayed aggressive and stiff, picking Takemura up and planting him with a powerbomb that sent him bouncing off the canvas. Katsushi looked legitimately out of it after that powerbomb, but Artino wasn’t done. Artino whipped him into the corner before splashing into him, sending Takemura slumping into the corner. Artino comes running in and hits a stiff knee to Takemura’s head, which sends the sitting Takemura slumping forward onto the canvas face-first. With Takemura almost completely out of it, Artino picks him up and locks in an airtight bearhug! Takemura struggles weakly for a while before going limp in Artino’s arms, like a small child at the end of a long day. Hunter only has to lift Takemura’s hand once to know he’s completely done, but he goes through the motion three times to make it academic. As Takemura’s hand drops for the third time, Hunter calls for the bell to give Sam Artino the submission victory!

WINNER: Sam Artino

RATING: 49

MATCH: 74

CROWD: 25

===============

"Trippin'" with: George Sand and Francoise

Tripps: Hello, folks, and welcome to yet another episode of the hottest new show in the wrestling business today, the envy of everyone who sees it, Trippin’ with me, Dave Tripps! For all of those who saw me take a tough loss this evening, I’d like to apologize – the cast and crew of Trippin’ strives for excellence in all fields, including in-ring performance, and this loss is a tough result to take for the greatest show in wrestling. However, while John Wellington may have been better than me in the ring today, absolutely nobody is better than me at asking the tough questions! Tonight’s guests on Trippin’ are two of the hottest stars in Renaissance Championship Wrestling, and one of them is undoubtedly the best looking! Tonight, Trippin’ is proud to bring to you the man who will challenge for the RCW World Title in just a little bit, and his lovely manager – please give a warm Trippin’ welcome to George Sand and Francoise!

Sand’s music hits, and the two come walking out to the ring. Francoise plants a kiss on George’s cheek as they make their way to the ring, with Sand slapping hands all along the walkway. They slide into the ring, with George holding the ropes open for Francoise as they enter the ring and take a seat at the Trippin’ desk.

Tripps: George, Francoise, thanks for coming on The Trip tonight.

Sand: It’s a pleasure to be here, Dave.

Francoise: Yes, thank you very much for inviting us.

Tripps: The pleasure is all mine. Now, tonight is a big night for you, George. Tonight, you challenge RCW World Champion Chance Beckett in a one-on-one matchup for the prestigious RCW World Title! How do you feel going into this match?

Sand: To be honest, I feel great. I thought I’d be really nervous about all of this going into it. But after beating Adam Flash last show, I think it proved that I could really hang with the big boys. Adam Flash isn’t Chance Beckett, but that was a really big win for me, and one that gave me a lot of confidence going into this matchup.

Francoise: Yes, George has really become a talented performer here in RCW. I’m very,very proud of what he’s managed to accomplish in so short a time.

Tripps: Actually Francoise, that was one of the things I wanted to ask you about. It seems that you’re not particularly supportive of George’s decision to keep wrestling here in Renaissance Championship Wrestling. How do you feel about his career choices?

Francoise: Oh…I’m just glad George found something he’s happy to be doing, you know?

Tripps: Is that really the case? Last month at RCW Code Red, your distraction to George nearly cost you the match, and then you ended up in harm’s way at the hands of Adam Flash! It didn’t seem too supportive to me!

Francoise: I was just warning George to be careful, you know? I wanted to make sure he’d be OK!

George: Look, it’s not important, Dave. Yeah, sometimes she can be a liability or a handicap out there, but she’s the most import….

Francoise: Excuse me? A handicap? That’s what I am to you? Some dead weight stuck to your leg?

George: No, honey, that’s not what I meant. I mean, sure you almost screwed it up last week, but…

Francoise: Oh, and now it’s MY fault you almost lost the match?

George: No, no, that’s not what I meant to s….

Francoise: Now I see! That’s what you really think of me! You tell me you want my help, and that I’m important, but instead you think I’m some lump of lead stuck to your ankle! Well good luck winning this one, George! See if you can do without my precious help!

George: No, honey, please! Stay out here!

Francoise: Oh don’t you worry, I’m staying out here! I want to be here in person when Chance Beckett pins you to the mat 1-2-3 and kills your dreams of being the champion of this stupid place! Then you can finally quit this place and come home and get a REAL job, George!

George: I’m not losing this match, Francoise. The two of us are walking out of here together, and we’re taking our first baby home. It’s 42 inches long, weights 8 pounds, and it’s already got a name: The RCW World Title!

Tripps: Well, that’s all the time we have this week on Trippin’! Tune in next week for another exciting episode of the fastest-growing show in the wrestling world! The RCW World Title match is up in just a moment, after we get the ring cleared of our fabulous Trippin’ set! Goodnight, everybody!

RATING: 52

NOTES: George Sand gained overness from this segment. Francoise gained overness from this segment. Dave Tripps gained overness from this segment.

===============

Twiggy On The Prowl

As the Trippin’ set gets carted out of the ring, we cut backstage where Fred Laney, limping slightly after his tag team match earlier in the night, is walking down the corridor with a plate of Chinese food, heading for the locker room. He pushes the door open, knocking some of the rice onto the floor by mistake. He looks down at the rice, then heads into the locker room, when suddenly Twiggy comes FLYING out of the locker room and blasts him in the face with a forearm shot! The plate of Chinese food goes flying everywhere across the backstage area as Twiggy mounts Laney on the ground and starts throwing punches left and right, pummeling the completely off guard Fred Laney! Laney tries to push him off, but Twiggy just buckles down and keeps punching harder, forcing Laney to use his hands to protect his face instead. As he keeps punching, Twiggy starts screaming at Laney – well, he keeps screaming, but now he’s saying something intelligible.

Twiggy: WHY? THOSE GRAINS OF RICE WERE AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS! WHY WOULDN’T YOU SAVE THOSE? WHY WOULDN’T YOU EAT THEM? ARE THEY NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? WERE THEY TOO ORANGE FOR YOU? WHAT!?! ANSWER ME! ANSWER MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Finally, I get the writers and Sound Guy together, and they pull a still-screaming Twiggy off Fred Laney, who goes scampering backwards, clearly disturbed by what just happened.

Laney: What the HELL is wrong with you!?! Are you nuts!?!

Twiggy: I LIKE NUTS TOO!!!!

With that, the two men get taken to different parts of the backstage area, with Laney still clearly in shock. He notices one of the guys backstage eating a plate of Chinese food, and snatches it out of his hand, still clearly angry. He tosses a few grains of rice onto the floor with a sneer on his face and walks off back to the locker room.

RATING: 50

NOTES: Fred Laney gained overness from this segment. Twiggy gained overness from this segment.

===============

RCW WORLD TITLE MATCH

Chance Beckett © vs. George Sand

And now, the main event – the first Renaissance Championship Wrestling title match with some real build to it. The crowd’s definitely ready for this match, as the buzz in the Earl Polero Bingo Hall could only be matched by the monthly St. Joseph’s $5,000 Super Tournament. Our match should be more violent, but you’ve never seen those old ladies when they think something’s fishy with the numbers and Earl’s Asian cousin gets his third straight W. Fortunately, the sight of Chance Beckett and George Sand in the ring, with Francoise on the outside of the ring looking absolutely furious, gets everyone sufficiently pumped. The bell rings, and the match gets underway. It begins with the two men trying to get ahold of each other, but both slide out of each other’s grip like soap in a prison shower. Sand finally locks on a hammerlock, but Beckett counters with a snapmare. He goes for a sitting sleeper, but Sand drops to his back and kicks up over his head, connecting with Beckett’s skull and sending the champion reeling backwards.

Sand leaps to his feet and tries a double-leg takedown, but Beckett catches him and lifts him up, trying for a powerbomb. He can’t lift George, however, and Sand sends Beckett tumbling to the mat with a back body drop. Sand grabs Beckett from behind in a full nelson and lifts him up, going for the dragon suplex, but Beckett reverses that with a kick to Sand’s right knee. With Sand weakened for the moment, Beckett breaks free, then runs forward and takes Sand down with a running neckbreaker! He goes for the cover: 1…………….2…no, Sand kicks out with ease at 2. Beckett locks on a rear chinlock, trying to wear down Sand’s neck. Francoise screams on support for George, now firmly back in George’s corner, on the outside as Beckett keeps the hold locked in from behind, yanking back roughly on Sand’s neck. Finally, Beckett lets the challenger drop down and takes a quick breather for himself after the early going.

Before Sand can try and wrest control of the match away from Beckett, the champion has Sand propped up in the corner and starts laying into him with a series of chops to Sand’s bare chest. The WHOOOOOOO!’s of the crowd echo each successful chop until Sand ducks out of the way of one and throws Beckett into the corner himself, nailing his own series of chops. Sand, after wearing down Beckett, lifts Beckett up to the top turnbuckle and climbs up, looking to hit his fallaway moonsault. He goes to lift Beckett up, but Beckett, looking to stay in the match, hooks his leg around the ringpost and blocks the move before shoving Sand off the top rope. With Sand downed, Beckett acts quickly, leaping off the top rope and nailing a knee drop straight to Sand’s head! Sand is motionless as Beckett hooks the leg, looking for the win! 1…………..2…………….no, Beckett can’t hold Sand down! Francoise covers her face on the outside as Beckett throws a few sharp punches into Sand’s face, then lifts him up. He nails a snap suplex, then hits another running knee drop, connecting with Sand’s head once more. He goes back to the chinlock, working over Sand’s head as the crowd cheers on the challenger, looking to see the RCW World Title change hands.

After a minute or two in the chinlock, Sand breaks free by reaching back and pulling Beckett over with a snapmare. Sand ducks a Beckett clothesline, then connects with a front kick square to Beckett’s jaw, knocking the champ for a loop. He drops to the canvas and falls to the outside, looking to recover. Sand takes the chance afforded to him and goes bouncing off the opposite ropes, then jumps between the second and third ropes, taking Beckett down with a suicide dive! Francoise screams and runs over to check on George, who comes leaping up to his feet, riding a surge of adrenaline. Francoise’s words are completely drowned out by his concentration and the crowd noise as he picks Beckett up and rolls him into the ring. He covers, and Mike Hunter rolls into position to make the count! 1…………………….2………………………..3! NO! Beckett kicks out at the VERY last second, and George Sand cannot believe it! The crowd’s going nuts as Sand picks him up and whips Beckett into the ropes, but Beckett ducks underneath Sand on the rebound, then bounces back off and hits a huge running Yakuza kick to the face of Sand! Beckett makes the cover: 1………………..2…………………NO! Sand kicks out as Hunter’s hand is only inches off the mat, and the match continues on!

Both men are slow to get up, and they start brawling, looking to gain an advantage. Sand seems to get the upper hand and goes for a big haymaker, but Beckett ducks it with ease and hits an elbow, sending Sand reeling. He goes for a clothesline of his own, but Sand dodges it and grabs Beckett, pulling him down and hitting a jawbreaker on his knees. Beckett’s reeling, and Sand puts a hand up in the air, signaling for the Sands of Time! As he sets him up for it, he doesn’t see Adam Flash coming running down the aisle, his eyes squarely on George Sand! As Sand waits for Beckett to stagger up, Flash comes flying in off the top rope, dropkicking Sand squarely in the back from behind! He goes flying into Beckett, and the two men go slumping down in a heap as referee Mike Hunter calls for the bell! The fans start booing like crazy as Flash goes to town on George Sand, laying into him without mercy. Francoise screams at Chance Beckett to do something, and Becket looks into the ring, looking somewhat bad about what’s happened to his title defense. After a moment, however, Beckett lowers his head, collects his RCW World Title, and heads for the back as Adam Flash, done pounding on George Sand, poses for the seething RCW crowd as Bastards on Parade comes to a close.

WINNER (BY DQ): George Sand

STILL RCW WORLD CHAMPION: Chance Beckett

RATING: 69

CROWD: 40

MATCH: 98

NOTES: The RCW World title has gained in image.

===============

OVERALL: 50

[rockyoursox]

AUGUST 3, 2006

HANK’S BAR AND GRILL

I really did laugh when I saw what Hank meant by ‘grill’ – having a hot dog, a frying pan, a bottle of very flammable whiskey, and a lighter did NOT equal a grill in my book. Fortunately, I was there for the first part of Hank’s description, not the latter. As I sipped a Miller, I looked at my watch. It was 4:11 PM – my appointment was running 11 minutes late. I had scheduled a meeting with Katsushi Takemura after the crap he had pulled at Bastards On Parade. I had expressly banned him from using the microphone after his first attempt at cutting a promo, but he went and did it again. Of course, this time it came during the middle of the show, and it completely killed our momentum. I think the crowd would have rather eaten their own heads than listen to another minute of Takemura’s blathering. It was time to have a little talk with him.

Finally, at 4:23 (and another Miller later), Takemura came charging through the door, looking disturbed. He spotted me at the table at the side of the room (not a hard feat – Hank wasn’t beating customers away at 4 PM on a Thursday – and stepped over quickly.

Takemura: Mr. Hawkins, I am very sorry that I was late. The cab driver did not have an easy time finding this place.

Me: Don’t worry about it, Kat. Do you want a beer?

Takemura: No thank you – I am not the drinking type. Thank you very much for your offer.

Me: No problem. Now Katsushi, I think you know what I need to talk to you about.

Takemura: I believe you are angry that I used the microphone at our last show – the change in my match with Sam Artino seemed to say that.

Me: You got that right. You know that I had banned you from getting on the microphone after your performance at Code Red, and then you went and did it again despite me telling you VERY SPECIFICALLY not to! Why did you do that?

Takemura: It was not a premeditated plan, Mr. Hawkins. I came with the idea of what to say on my way to the ring, and I believed that what I was going to say would be very popular with the crowd.

Me: Well, you were WRONG, Mr. Takemura.

Takemura: Yes, it appears I was – but as I said, it was not a premeditated decision to disobey your orders.

Me: Whatever…it figures that the Asian guy would be the one to pull a sneaky move, though.

I raised my beer as Takemura raised his eyes, glaring at me as I sipped the Miller.

Takemura: Excuse me?

Me: Now Katsushi, I don’t want to fire you. You’re a good wrestler. A very good wrestler, in fact. But the fact of the matter is that the crowd’s don’t like you. They can’t relate to you, they have no reason to care about you. You’re like other Asian wrestlers – you’re good in the ring, but you don’t have that same charisma, which is why I have a gimmick that’s going to get you over with our fans.

Takemura: Mr. Hawkins, thank you for your idea, but your comment – that is very offensive to me.

Me: What’s offensive?

Takemura: Saying that Asian people cannot excite a crowd – it is a stereotype.

Me: Look, of all the top stars in wrestling’s past, show me a charismatic Asian. Show me an Asian that got over on the microphone. Asian wrestlers need two things: They need to be good in the ring, and they need to have a gimmick. Otherwise, people tune them out.

Takemura: I do not agree.

Me: However, you’re not in charge. Now, like I was saying, I have a great idea for a gimmick for you. You’re great in the ring – you’re quick, you’re a fighter, you’re feared. What else is all of those things? A NINJA!

Takemura: You want me to be a ninja?

Me: Yeah, it’ll be great! People love ninjas these days! It’s one of those stupid things that gets a life of its own, but people are gonna eat it up! That ninja costume and sword are gonna do more for you than any match, and a LOT more than any promo, could do in a year!

Takemura: Mr. Hawkins, this is too much. I will not put up with this racism from you!

Me: Now how the hell am I being racist?

Takemura: Asian people are sneaky, Asian people are not charismatic, making me a ninja – this is very offensive to me and all Asians! Asian wrestlers do not need to be given Asian music and dressed up as dragons and ninjas to be liked by the crowd!

Me: Well, you sure as hell aren’t well-liked by that crowd! They think you’re a damn joke after those promos you cut!

Takemura: And putting me into a costume you buy from a Halloween store will not make me respected. It will put me into a supporting role. I cannot be a respected wrestler as a ninja!

Me: After what you did at our last show, you should be a FIRED wrestler! But I’m giving you another chance, and a way to become popular at that! And for that, I get called a racist!

Takemura: You ARE a racist. If I become a ninja, I am not ‘that wrestler’. Instead, I am ‘that Asian wrestler’. I will not do that.

Me: Well, Mr. Takemura, unless you want to be a ninja, you’re not going to be a part of RCW. I suggest you see things my way.

Takemura: I will not dignify that with a response.

Me: When you want to dignify it with a response, you know where to find me, Takemura. I’m not going to fire you, even though I should. You break my rules, sabotage my show, and attack my character! But I’m going to be the bigger man. Your job, complete with ninja costume, will remain waiting for you.

Takemura: Goodbye, Mr. Hawkins.

With that, Takemura went storming out of Hank’s, slamming the door behind him. I pounded the last third of my beer in one long chug and slammed the bottle against the table. The nerve of Takemura to walk in and call me, the guy who signed his paychecks every week, a RACIST. He could talk about how Asians were great all he wanted, it didn’t change the fact that even Ricky Steamboat had a dragon gimmick. I loved watching old Steamboat stuff where the Dragon would go at it, and Takemura was lying to himself if he thought anything differently. I wasn’t a racist. If I was a racist, I wouldn’t have hired the guy, or put him in a World Title match, or given him the chance to go out there and hang himself with the microphone to begin with. Insolent little Asian bastard. It didn’t matter, though – I was the only guy he worked for. Without my paycheck, he didn’t have any income whatsoever. I knew he’d be back, and he’d get into that ninja costume.

I slapped a $20 bill onto the table and stood up to leave, balancing myself with Katsushi’s empty chair as I stood up. I waved a sullen goodbye to Hank behind the counter and walked out the door. It was 10 blocks to my apartment – just long enough for me to work up a sweat. Fucking August weather. Fucking Takemura – what did he know anyways?

=====================

OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW INDOOR FIREWORKS!

FALLOUT FROM BASTARDS ON PARADE

After the World Title match at Bastards on Parade, a lot of things are up in the air. Why did Adam Flash do what he did? How does Chance Beckett feel about this entire situation? And who in RCW is worthy of the next title shot at Beckett? Hopefully these issues will be addressed!

GEORGE SAND vs. JOHN WELLINGTON

Wellington picked up a win at Bastards On Parade against Dave Tripps, and his momentum meter is definitely pointing up. However, this is a real challenge, as he goes against a certainly furious George Sand. Will Sand avenge the misfortune he suffered in last month’s main event, or will Wellington prove himself worthy of a title shot?

FRED LANEY vs. SIMON SANDERS vs. KURT LAUDERDALE

Last month, Fred Laney and Kurt Lauderdale were partners as they picked up the first-ever tag team win in RCW history. This month, they fight each other as the tables are turned! How will Simon Sanders factor into the match between two men who know each other?

AND MUCH MORE!

All your favorite RCW superstars will be in action here tonight! Adam Flash will be in the building, as will Twiggy and Dave Tripps! Also, see Kid Fantastic’s return to the ring, only at Indoor Fireworks! Buy your tickets now – sales are limited, and tickets are $5 more at the door!

Sunday, July 30, 2005

Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY

RCW INDOOR FIREWORKS!

[rockyoursox]

RCW INDOOR FIREWORKS

AUGUST 27, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

===============

Sam Artino vs. Kid Fantastic

The show kicks off with Kid Fantastic, still wearing a bandage around the head from his attack at the hands of Kurt Lauderdale two months ago, and Sam Artino in the ring. Fantastic charges at Artino and takes him down with a jumping clothesline, then bounces off the ropes, looking for a second clothesline. However, Sam Artino dodges it and takes him down to the mat with a shoulder block. Artino takes control of the match from that point, laying the boots into the downed Fantastic’s head. The crowd of 233 people starts to rally around Kid Fantastic, but Sam Artino looks to snuff out any life in the Kid’s ragged-looking body with a bearhug. Kid Fantastic struggles to escape, and connects with a wild elbow to Artino’s temple, allowing him to wriggle free from the bearhug. Sam goes to take down Fantastic, but the Kid uses his speed to his advantage, dodging Artino before taking him down with a snap hurracanrana. Kid Fantastic grabs Artino and whips him into the ropes, setting him up for a backdrop. Artino comes screeching to a stop right in front of the bowed-over Fantastic and sends a vicious boot up into the face of Fantastic. The blow to the head sends Fantastic falling straight into the mat. Artino looks at him, thinking of covering the seemingly-unconscious Kid, but instead hoists him up and hits the backbreaker (now called the Homage) before covering him: 1………..2………………..3! Artino picks up the pin, and ends Kid Fantastic’s undefeated streak in RCW. Kid Fantastic stays on the mat for longer than usual before staggering to the back, holding his head – clearly still feeling the effects of his beating at Kurt Lauderdale’s hands.

WINNER: Sam Artino

RATING: 46

CROWD: 26

MATCH: 79

NOTES: Sam Artino gained overness from this match.

===============

George Sand vs. John Wellington

With John Wellington already in the ring, George Sand comes walking down the aisle – and conspicuous in her absence is George’s manager, Francoise. Sand looks annoyed as he slides into the ring and immediately goes after Wellington. The two brawl back and forth, with neither one able to gain the upper hand. Finally, Wellington bails to the outside, but George immediately leaps to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a flying cross body to the outside. The two men go crashing into the ring barrier, but Sand immediately springs up, his eyes lit up with adrenaline. He hops onto the ring apron and waits for Wellington, quite dazed from the aggressiveness of Sand, to get to his feet. As he does, Sand charges the length of the ring apron before leaping off with a suicide dive-esque maneuver, taking him back down again. Wellington is still slow to recover, but Sand leaps to his feet a second time and climbs for the ring again. He perches on the top rope and doesn’t wait for Wellington to get up this time, leaping off with a knee drop that crashes straight into Wellington’s shoulder!

As the crowd gets a “SAND! SAND! SAND!” chant going for the surprisingly cavalier George Sand, George picks a completely obliterated Wellington off the ground and rolls him into the ring. He goes for the cover: 1………………2……………………NO! Wellington has just enough left in him to kick out. Sand plays to the crowd a little, calling for the Sands of Time, while Wellington crawls to the edge of the ring and reaches to the outside, grabbing for a chair. However, alert referee Mike Hunter sees Wellington’s foray to the dark side and runs over, fighting to wrest control of the chair away from him. However, while Hunter is distracted, he doesn’t see Adam Flash come running down the aisle and slide into the ring. George doesn’t see him either, not noticing him until Flash grabs him in a rear waistlock and hits a HUGE German suplex on Sand! Flash rolls out of the ring and hides on the outside as Wellington, realizing the situation, lets Hunter have the chair. Wellington scoops up the stunned Sand and plants him in the dead center of the ring with the E. Coli Driver! He covers: 1………………..2……………………..3! John Wellington has upset George Sand, but not without some help from Adam Flash! Wellington celebrates his victory, while Adam Flash pops up at ringside, stunning Mike Hunter, and immediately goes back on the attack, laying into George Sand! He hits another German suplex on the nearly-unconscious Sand, then heads to the top rope. He sets up to hit the Last Call leg drop, but the crowd suddenly pumps up the volume, causing Flash to whirl around to look at the entrance. He’s met with the sight of the RCW World Champion, Chance Beckett, leaping onto the ring apron and pushing Flash off the top turnbuckle! Flash lands crotch-first on the top rope and lets out a Pee Wee-esque squeak before tumbling to the outside. Beckett slides into the ring and casually pulls Sand off the mat into a standing position before demanding the microphone from Joe Wheeler.

WINNER: John Wellington

RATING: 56

CROWD: 46

MATCH: 80

NOTES: John Wellington gained overness from this match.

===============

Beckett Hits The Stick!

Beckett: Hey, Flash, don’t you know how to keep your damn nose out of other people’s business?

The crowd erupts at Beckett’s surprising presence in the ring and attacks on Flash. Beckett ignores any positive feelings that the crowd has, however, instead barreling ahead with the interview.

Beckett: I’ve accomplished a lot in my career – a lot more than you have, despite your career being twice as long as mine! And I’ve accomplished a hell of a lot more than this idiot here in the ring with me!

The crowd boos a little bit at Beckett’s attack on Sand, who’s too dazed in the corner to pay much attention to Chance’s words. Just as he ignored the positive, Chance ignores the negative as well.

Beckett: But you know what? I wouldn’t have accomplished as much as I did if there were morons rushing the ring every time I had a match! It’s not his fault that you couldn’t cut it, Flash! You lost that match, fair and square! And instead of giving me a chance to prove my superiority and keep my World Title, what do you do? You run into our match last month and get it thrown out! Sand gets the win, not me! And when people remember that match, they aren’t going to remember how friggin’ good I was in that match! Instead, they’ll think, “Oh, that’s right, George Sand almost became champion until Chance’s backup arrived!” That’s NOT the way things happened, Flash, and I’ll be damned if I let people belittle my fantastic achievements!

The crowd is basically behind Beckett at this point, and his egotism gets ignored in favor of his hatred of Adam Flash. While the crowd cheers, Beckett turns back to George Sand and addresses him.

Beckett: George, I’m not going to lie – I don’t think you’re in my league. During our match at Bastards On Parade, I could have pinned you whenever I wanted to. But if you’re the second-best wrestler that RCW has to offer, then I’m not gonna let the riffraff hold you from reaching that penultimate potential that you have!

George gives a forced nod, still holding his neck from the E. Coli driver and the German suplexes.

Beckett: And since you undoubtedly want a chance to kick Adam Flash’s teeth in, and I want an opportunity to make an example of this punk, I think I can deal with carrying your ass in a tag team match tonight. Me and you versus Adam Flash and whoever this loser can find willing to walk down the aisle with him. You gonna take the opportunity that Chance gives you, Sand?

George thinks about it for a second, then reaches out his hand. Beckett quickly shakes the hand perfunctorily, then turns to Adam Flash, who’s up on the outside and rubbing his certainly-sore groin while holding the other microphone that RCW has…sure, it’s a light blue color and has the St. Paul’s Parish logo on it, not the RCW logo, but it still works.

Beckett: What about you, chickenhead? Are you gonna take us on tonight, or are you just going to keep ambushing the guy who beat you?

Flash: OK, Beckett, you’re on. It doesn’t matter who I tag with. I’ll be there for the main event, and I’ll take you down. And when I get the pinfall win tonight, that’ll make ME the #1 contender for that gold you have around your shoulder. So get ready, Beckett – I wouldn’t be getting too comfortable with that belt. Because Chance, those sorts of things can disappear…in a Flash!

RATING: 57

NOTES: Chance Beckett gained overness from this segment

===============

Fred Laney vs. Simon Sanders vs. Kurt Lauderdale

With the crowd still buzzing from Chance Beckett’s challenge for the main event tonight at Indoor Fireworks, we get set for the third match of the evening. Simon Sanders and his boundless enthusiasm comes out first, shaking hands with each and every audience member once again. “Fred Laney” kicks up over the loudspeaker, signaling Fred’s entrance, and Kurt Lauderdale soon follows. Seeing his two opponents, who were a ruthlessly efficient tag team the week before, actually drops the smile from Sanders’ face for just a moment. He looks around, desperately hoping that the match is set to become a four corners match, but all he hears is the ring bell. Sanders comes running at the two men, trying to hit a double clothesline, but he just bounces off the two MUCH larger men and falls to the ground. Sanders is systematically dismantled by the two men in what amounts to a glorified handicap match, as Laney and Lauderdale work together the entire match. After five minutes of slam after brutal slam, Lauderdale lifts Sanders up and delivers the Career Killer, then props up the limp Sanders, who eats a giant spear from Laney! Laney goes for the cover, but Lauderdale pulls Laney off, yelling that he should get the pin. The crowd starts to buzz as Laney and Lauderdale jaw back and forth, with the conversation getting more animated. Both men cock their fists and pull them back, getting ready to trade blows…..or to shake hands, much to the dismay of the crowd. The two men laugh at the disappointed crowd, who boo heartily as Kurt Lauderdale (after a quick game of rock/paper/scissors – ALWAYS pick scissors) covers Simon Sanders. The pin is academic: 1…………..2……………3!

WINNER: Kurt Lauderdale

RATING: 48

CROWD: 34

MATCH: 75

===============

Laney And Lauderdale Have A Challenge

As Mike Hunter rolls Simon Sanders out of the ring, Kurt Lauderdale and Fred Laney call for the microphones as well. Seeing the light blue mic, Fred Laney throws it to the outside in disgust. Realizing what he did, he whirls around, terrified that Twiggy might take it upon himself to defend microphones, the color blue, or perhaps both. After Twiggy fails to appear, Laney relaxes and laughs as Lauderdale begins to talk.

Lauderdale: You know, we saw that Chance Beckett and George Sand are gonna be taking on Adam Flash and a partner tonight in the main event, and that gave us a little idea, you know? In case you morons didn’t notice, me and Fred work pretty good together – just ask Twiggy and Nick Collyer! We won the first ever tag team match in RCW history, and I don’t think we’re gonna be losing one anytime soon!

Fred Laney takes the microphone from Kurt Lauderdale, looking to chime in with his own piece.

Laney: And you know what, Kurt? It felt damn good to take Twiggy down in that match! That whackjob didn’t even know what hit him – of course, he decided to attack me later on that night because I didn’t make love to my moo goo gai pan or whatever, so I want another shot at that little twerp.

A small “ORANGE! ORANGE!” chant breaks out, and Laney scowls before continuing in a slightly more strained voice.

Laney: And Kurt, now that I know how good it feels to beat that little idiot in a match, I want you to experience that same feeling. Sure, you absolutely destroyed Kid Fantastic twice, but there’s nothing that can compare with watching that loser walk to the back, looking like he’s THIS close to crying!

Laney then goes on to perform perhaps the world’s worst pantomime of someone crying, which sends Kurt Lauderdale into the world’s worst pantomime of uproarious laughter. The crowd boos, although I have no idea whether they’re booing the actions or the acting.

Laney: So Kurt, if Kid Sucktastic and Tweaky aren’t too afraid to step into the ring with us, we want a piece of you punks!

Lauderdale: We’ll even give Kid Fragile another month to heal up! So next month, the undefeated tag team of Kurt Lauderdale and Fred Laney are gonna roll over you like the bitches you are!

RATING: 48

NOTES: Twiggy gained overness from this segment

===============

A "Trippin'" News Break!

With the Trippin’ set in the ring (now including a half-dead potted plant – stylish), it can only mean one thing: the return of the hottest show in all of professional wrestling today! The cheesy news music picks up, and Dave Tripps comes marching down to the ring. However, instead of his usual blazer, shirt, and tie, Tripps is wearing an extremely loud Hawaiian shirt featuring the ugliest parrots ever imagined. He slides in behind the Trippin’ news desk, shuffles the one paper he has with him (which is actually a Dominos menu), and then, it’s go time.

Tripps: Hello folks, and welcome to a very special Breaking News edition of the hottest show in wrestling today, Trippin’! The Trip was supposed to have the week off, and I was just clearing up a little business here at the office before I headed out for some well deserved fun in the sun! However, despite the vacation attire, my mind is always wired into the information superhighway that is the backstage area of Renaissance Championship Wrestling. And folks, today might be my greatest work as a reporter yet! Today, folks, I have THE exclusive scoop that you’ve all been waiting for! Before anyone else knew it, I was able to uncover the identify of Adam Flash’s tag team partner for tonight’s main event!

The crowd buzzes, actually impressed and interested by what Dave has to say – most likely a first. Tripps’ chest swells up ever so slightly as he continues.

Tripps: This news is huge, and I know several local affiliates were doing their best to discover this man’s identity! However, with my well-developed connections within RCW, I was able to pull the scoop. Folks, without further ado, I bring to you Adam Flash’s tag team partner for tonight’s main event – SWEATSUIT STEVE!

The crowd explodes into….confused murmurs, really…as Sweatsuit Steve, decked out in a fantastic orange and black sweatsuit that makes him look slightly like Hobbes, comes walking down to the ring. He steps into the ring and takes a seat at the Trippin’ desk as Tripps offers a hearty handshake for his guest.

Tripps: Steve, I’m gonna make this short, sweet, and to the point, since I have a plane to catch. Why, of all the superstars in RCW, did Adam Flash choose you to tag with?

Steve: Honestly, I’m not sure why it was me. I suppose Adam Flash got a look at what I could do in the ring and saw that I’d be a good addition to the team!

Tripps: No, seriously, why you? Why not John Wellington, the man who pinned George Sand with Adam Flash’s help earlier tonight? Or Katsushi Takemura, a ferocious competitor who has experience against Sand? Why YOU?

Steve: Dave, all that matters is that I’ve been chosen for my ability, and it’s time for me to go out and show everyone exactly what I’m capable of doing. I love being known for my outfits, but now it’s time to become known for something else – pinning the World Champion in tonight’s main event!

Flash: You’ll do no such thing, you goddamn loser!

The two men look around to see Adam Flash standing at the curtain, looking annoyed. Tripps tries to interrupt, but Flash takes control of the sound system

Flash: You want to know why I actually chose this unfashionable 80’s wannabe, Tripps? I chose him because he’s the worst goddamn wrestler in RCW! And when I win this match with an awful partner, I won’t have to hear any more crap from you, Tripps! Or from Chance Beckett! Or from George Sand! Or from anyone else who thinks I can’t hang with the big boys!

Steve: But I…

Flash: SHUT UP! The match is next – just don’t get in the way and don’t do anything unless I fucking tell you to do it! You got that, nitwit?

Steve nods as Tripps grabs his suitcase and bolts for the exit, leaving Sound Guy and Mike Hunter to move the set out of the ring by themselves. Party foul, Dave. Party foul.

RATING: 41

NOTES: Sweatsuit Steve gained overness from this segment. Dave Tripps gained overness from this segment.

===============

Kid Fantastic, Meet Twiggy. Twiggy, Kid Fantastic.

While the Trippin’ set gets cleared out, we cut backstage to Twiggy, who has one of the double-barreled beer helmets on his head – with pickle brine in both holders. The beer helmet provides an excellent contrast to the full-body pink spandex jumpsuit he’s wearing, looking like the gayest speed skater of all-time in it (quite the accomplishment). He’s looking for something, and finally spots what it is he’s looking for – Kid Fantastic, who’s lying down on a cot, rubbing his bruised and throbbing head. In his excitement, Twiggy goes running over to Kid Fantastic and starts yelling at him.

Twiggy: HEY! KID! We’re gonna be tag team partners! Aren’t you so EXCITED!?!

Fantastic: Owwwwwwwwwww…..Twiggy, do you mind quieting down a little? My head’s absolutely killing me after that match tonight.

Twiggy actually calms down a little, slightly remorseful over his actions, as Kid Fantastic tries to readjust himself on the cot.

Twiggy: Sorry. But we’re gonna be tag team partners. You’ll be a much better tag team partner than Nick Collyer was against them. You’ve got a much lower center of gravitational unity than he did.

Fantastic: Well, I…wait, what does that even mean?

Twiggy: With that low unity, and your really sweet orange headband you like to wear, those two guys don’t stand a chance against us!

Fantastic: This isn’t a headband, Twiggy. It’s a bandage. It’s ‘orange’ because I bled through it.

Twiggy: Yeah, orange is an awesome color. I should get some orange training clothes to get ready for this match! It’s my big chance to show Fred Laney that the orange boots need their unalienable rights of life, libraries, and the pursuit of your tail in a circle!

Fantastic: Um…yeah. Do you really think we can handle those two? I’m still not feeling all that great, and they beat you and Collyer pretty good last month.

Twiggy: Fantastic…that’s a great name too. Yeah, they don’t have a CHANCE against us! C’mon, get pumped! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantastic: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Twiggy: There you go, that’s the spirit!

Twiggy keeps screaming as Kid Fantastic keeps moaning, holding his aching head. Finally, Twiggy stops screaming as his head whirls around.

Twiggy: Wow, a doorstop! See you later, Fantastique!

Twiggy goes springing offscreen as Kid Fantastic sinks even further into the cot and closes his eyes, hoping that what he saw was just a bad dream.

RATING: 49

NOTES: Twiggy gained overness from this segment

===============

George Sand/Chance Beckett© vs. Adam Flash/Sweatsuit Steve

We go back to the ring, where Adam Flash is busy barking instructions to an overwhelmed Sweatsuit Steve. George Sand, still sans Francoise, comes walking down to the ring looking motivated. Chance Beckett comes down next, looking furiously not at Adam Flash, but Sweatsuit Steve. Steve glances nervously at Flash, who ignores the look and shoves Steve to the outside as he gets ready to start the match off against Beckett. The two men start off with some good old-fashioned chain wrestling, trading quick submissions back and forth. Neither man can gain control, and they eventually break the series, getting a round of applause in the process. Beckett hits the first move, hitting a strong European uppercut followed by a running neckbreaker. He immediately reaches over and tags in Sand, who leaps over the top rope and hits a big splash on Flash. Mike Hunter ignores the rhyme and drops to count the pinfall: 1……………2………no, Adam Flash kicks out! Sand locks on a sitting sleeper hold, trapping Flash on the mat in the middle of the ring!

Flash struggles towards the ropes, dragging Sand with him towards his own corner. Steve reaches out his hand, slipping the top of his sweatsuit off in anticipation of action. The hand is just a couple inches away from Flash, who reaches out – and makes a desperate lunge for the ropes, breaking the submission. A disappointed Steve slumps back as Sand grabs Flash, whips him back into his own corner, and tags Beckett in. Beckett steps into the ring, and he and Sand nail a pair of double-team chops on Flash in the corner. Sand steps out, and Flash quickly hits an eye poke, stunning Beckett. Beckett turns his back to Flash, and Adam takes quick advantage, locking onto Chance and hitting a bridging German suplex! The cover: 1………………2………………….NO! Chance kicks out as Flash slams his fist into the mat, clearly annoyed.

Flash throws Beckett into his corner and yells at Steve to hold him. Steve grabs Beckett by the arms and holds him up as Flash comes charging forward for a big tackle in the corner. However, Beckett elbows his way out of the full nelson Steve has him in and dodges Flash’s charge, sending Flash running straight into the steel ringpost! Flash looks to be out cold on the canvas as a panicked Steve looks down at him on the canvas. Inspiration passes over Steve’s face as he slaps the downed Flash’s hand and steps into the ring, looking straight into the eyes of Chance Beckett. Steve lunges forward with a clothesline attempt, but Beckett dodges it. Steve whirls around…straight into a Chance Encounter! Beckett hooks the leg: 1……………………2………………………..3! Chance Beckett and George Sand pick up the win over Adam Flash and Sweatsuit Steve!

Flash stumbles to his feet as the scene finally clicks into focus. Seeing Steve still down on the canvas, he starts berating the downed jobber. Still yelling, he climbs the top rope before coming off with the Last Call! Steve doesn’t move a muscle as Flash gets up and delivers one last toe kick as the exclamation point to his tirade. He turns around to find George Sand glaring at him, looking extremely pissed off. The two men stare each other down before Chance Beckett, his RCW World Title in hand, walks up next to the two men. Both Flash and Sand turn to look at Beckett, their eyes immediately drawn to the golden status symbol draped over Beckett’s shoulder. The three men stare at each other in the middle of the ring as RCW Indoor Fireworks comes to a close!

WINNERS: Chance Beckett and George Sand

RATING: 50

CROWD: 41

MATCH: 72

OVERALL: 49

[rockyoursox]

SEPTEMBER 14, 2006

RCW “HEADQUARTERS”

I had the numbers out in front of me, and there was some good and some bad. I suppose that’s the way things always go, though. Leafing through the surprisingly thick booklet that Sophie had put together over the week, I was finding out a lot about how the promotion was actually working in the marketplace. Time for a quick RCW roundup!

The Wrestlers:

This was the biggest strength we had going for us. The talent we had signed up was definitely catching on with the crowd, and the reactions at the Bingo Hall were louder and louder each week. Looking at the overness figures after just five shows, the difference was VAST.

ROSTER: Overness (starting overness)

Adam Flash: 43 (33)

Chance Beckett: 43 (29)

Dave Tripps: 27 (8)

Francoise: 19 (10)

Fred Laney: 40 (18)

George Sand: 52 (23)

John Wellington: 42 (27)

Katsushi Takemura: 39 (26)

Kid Fantastic: 40 (20)

Kurt Lauderdale: 40 (18)

Nick Collyer: 25 (18)

Sam Artino: 35 (10)

Simon Sanders: 22 (13)

Sweatsuit Steve: 24 (12)

Twiggy: 26 (5)

We had guys just flying up the charts, which was good news – but also a little bit worrisome. Sure, the indy wrestling scene had thinned out significantly over the past few months. Seven feds had gone bankrupt in the first five months, and a couple others were looking to join them, but others were starting up. In fact, a new NWA affiliate, calling itself Old School Rulez, had just started up. And they were basically a direct competitor with me. Both of us were small feds, and both of us were on the popular side of that equation – us at 88%, and them at 81%. To make things even worse, they had gone and signed Katsushi Takemura, which definitely put a crimp in my plans to have him come crawling back to me anytime soon. Still, I made sure to wait for him to come crawling back to me.

RCW:

The federation was in pretty stable shape. We had increased in public image pretty steadily the last few months, going up to a solid 88% rating that was only going higher. Soon, we’d be a regional fed, ready to take on the world outside of Earl’s bingo hall. However, that was coming at a price – despite my insistence on not losing money and running a tight budget, we were now officially running in the red. That major budget problem had come from the massive shift in advertising funds we had to make a couple months ago. Without the uptick in advertising money, our public image was going to take a big hit. So we ended up flushing an extra $50,000 or so down the toilet each month as we tried to keep our name out there. It had been working – the public image was up, the attendance was up, and morale was up. But the bottom line was down – we had lost about $110,000 the last two months, and in total, RCW was $90,000 in debt. Sure, it was a drop in the bucket overall, but I wanted Renaissance Championship Wrestling to be self-sustaining, not a leech on my bank account. Ellen was already filling that position, and I didn’t have room for another.

Still, I had a couple of tricks up my sleeve to try and change the money situation around. First, I figured it would be a good idea to try and cut back on the production values a little bit. I knew Sound Guy would be devastated, but it looked like we could save over $20,000 by cutting our production quality by about 5%. It’d go back up once we started bringing in more money, but it was a good way to save some cash. In addition to that, we would cut back at show expenses. Sure, people might call it a small show, rather than a medium-sized one, but it wasn’t a permanent thing, and I didn’t think it’d make too much of a difference in the long run. I decided we’d try it out at RCW Carnaval, which would be held on September 24th and see how things went from there. Hopefully once we moved up to regional level, and the sponsors contracts we had ran out, we could upgrade our funding and really have the capital to pump into RCW to make it run smoothly.

I flipped to the reports on attendance, but was distracted by my phone ringing in the background. I sprinted over to it and intercepted the call right before the dreaded fourth ring sent it to answering machine heaven.

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hey…dad?

Me: Oh, hi Jack. What’s up?

Jack: Not too much.

Me: Well…how’s school starting out? Good teachers this year?

Jack: Yeah, I think they’ll be OK. You know, it’s still school. Only so much a good teacher can do to make calculus interesting.

Me: A good teacher’s a big difference Jack, don’t forget about it.

Jack: Yeah….I guess you’re right.

Me: I’m really sorry you couldn’t make it to my show last month – it really stinks that you haven’t been able to make it to any of them yet.

Jack: Um, dad, that’s kinda what I was calling you about.

Me: What about it? I thought your mother, in her infinite wisdom, wasn’t going to let you come to one of them during the school year?

Jack: Well, yeah, that’s what she said. But I kinda had an idea for you. I kinda need a job – Mandy and I really like going out, but it can get really expensive. Mom doesn’t like me having a job during the school year, but if I could have one where I wouldn’t have to work during the week and where the boss could give me flexible hours, I think it’d be OK with her.

Me: I see.

Jack: And since you, y’know, run the place, I thought maybe you could give me a job working with you guys. I’d work pretty cheap, and I could do all kinds of stuff backstage. I could set things up, help you with the booking, clean up, everything.

Me: But what makes you think your mother’s going to let you do this, considering she doesn’t want you with a job or seeing my shows? Combining the two might not be the best solution.

Jack: I’ll get her to do it. I can still charm Mom, unlike another guy I know…

Me: You watch it, you little smartass….it’s not a good idea to talk back to your boss, you know?

Jack: Thanks dad….or boss….dad. I’ll be there at the next show!

And now my son would finally be in attendance for one of my shows. About damn time.

===================

OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW CARNAVAL!

KID FANTASTIC & TWIGGY vs. KURT LAUDERDALE & FRED LANEY

Last month at RCW Indoor Fireworks, a challenge was laid down when the rough and tumble tag team challenged Twiggy and Kid Fantastic to a tag team match at Carnaval. Explosions are looming as these four men step into the ring and try to settle the complicated score. Who will walk out victorious? Who will feel the shame of a loss? And will any of these scores be settled by the end of the show?

TRIPPIN’ WITH CHANCE BECKETT!

As Chance Beckett becomes the first two-time guest on Trippin’, there are a number of questions floating around the title he has on his shoulder. Indoor Fireworks ended with Beckett, George Sand, and Adam Flash engaged in a three-way staredown, and the gold was square in the middle of it! Who gets the next chance to knock Beckett off the RCW mountain? Find out on Trippin’!

GEORGE SAND vs. NICK COLLYER

Sand has been through a lot the last couple months, and he’s surely looking for another chance to capture the RCW World Title. A win over Nick Collyer would go a long way towards building his case for a future shot. And we’ll find out the answer to another question – will Francoise be at his side after her absence at Indoor Fireworks?

AND MORE!

How will Adam Flash respond to his team’s loss in last month’s main event? And how will Sweatsuit Steve respond to his incredibly poor performance in that match? These questions and many more will be answered at Carnaval! Order your tickets now – supply is limited!

Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY

Sunday, September 24, 2006

RCW CARNAVAL!

[rockyoursox]

RCW CARNAVAL

SEPTEMBER 24, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

Nick Collyer vs. George Sand

With the setup slightly ramped back for RCW Carnaval, we drew our smallest paying crowd yet, bringing in 180 customers. However, it wasn’t our smallest crowd – the Polero family reunion was taking place that weekend, so Earl’s contribution to the festivities, instead of springing for beer or food or something everyone needed, had been 50 free tickets to the show. I wasn’t complaining – as far as I could tell, all the Poleros were as loud as Earl, so we were in store for an extremely loud crowd, I hoped.

The show kicked off with George Sand taking on Nick Collyer. Sand, still without Francoise at his side, starts out extremely aggressively. He comes at Collyer with a nonstop barrage of fists, chops, kicks, clotheslines, and basic striking moves, putting Nick on the defensive early on. George didn’t let up, tossing Collyer to the outside, then going for a suicide dive. However, Collyer managed to dodge the move, and Sand went flying straight into the guardrail. Sand looks to be knocked out, and Collyer doesn’t waste any time. He grabs Sand and rolls him into the ring before covering him up! 1………….2……………no, Sand kicks out JUST in the nick of time! Collyer locks in an armbar, but after a minute, Sand has enough strength back to power up to his feet and flip Collyer to the ground. George heads to the top rope and nails a missile dropkick, sending Collyer back to the mat. As Nick stumbles to his feet, George runs up behind him and grabs Nick before throwing him backwards with a brutal dragon suplex! The crowd cheers on Sand’s comeback, and ups the volume as Sand signals for the Sands of Time! George grabs Nick Collyer off the mat, scoops him up, and plants him straight into the canvas! George covers as Mike Hunter drops into position: 1……………..2…………………..3! George Sand picks up the victory in convincing fashion!

WINNER: George Sand

RATING: 54

CROWD: 37

MATCH: 71

=================

Interview With Kid Fantastic and Twiggy

We cut backstage, where Kid Fantastic has a microphone. However, he doesn’t seem to notice that he’s getting the signal to start talking – instead, he’s watching Twiggy (dressed in an orange kimono) pretending to spar with a stuffed penguin sitting on a stool. Finally, the Kid hears Sound Guy’s not-so-whispery whispers to start talking and snaps back into it.

Kid Fantastic: Jeez, sorry….OK. Tonight, me and Twiggy….

Twiggy: TWIGGY AND I!

Fantastic: Um, yeah…yeah, Twiggy and I are gonna take on Fred Laney and Kurt Lauderdale in the main event. And I’ve spent the last three months looking forward to tonight, Kurt. After you attacked me backstage for absolutely no reason at No-Sell The Sabbath, you laid a brutal attack on me with a steel chair at Code Red.

Twiggy: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CODE ORANGE!

Kid Fantastic ignores Twiggy’s yellings from the background, where he is now working out to a Tae Bo tape. Instead, the Kid continues along with his interview, making his best ‘I’m not listening at all’ face.

Fantastic: That beating could have put my career in jeopardy, Kurt! But you wanted to try and make your goddamn point, so you did it anyways! But I wasn’t just going to go away. Oh no, I wasn’t going to just roll over and die!

In the background, Twiggy drops to the ground and starts playing dead. Fantastic somehow keeps his eyes focused straight ahead and continues.

Fantastic: I came back, and I showed you I meant business, Kurt. And tonight, I finally get a chance at you in the ring. Tonight you’re gonna have to face up to me and take me on in that squared circle. Of course, you’ll probably act like the little wuss you are and try to cheat your way out of this one too. So Kurt Lauderdale, I have a little challenge for you tonight. I challenge you, I DARE you, to fight clean tonight. Show me that you can back up that attitude you have without resorting to bashing my head in with a steel chair. Prove to me that you’re not a little coward, Kurt.

Twiggy has gotten up and wandered up next to Kid Fantastic, and upon hearing Fantastic stop, he grabs the microphone out of Fantastic’s hand.

Twiggy: And I have a challenge to you, Fred Laney! Try not to be an ugly Frenchman!

Fantastic: He’s French?

Twiggy: But you can’t do it! Because you’re too busy trying to sniff your own butt, and you like to smell your own butt, and you think it smells good, so you keep smelling it!

Fantastic: OK, that’s enough, Twiggy.

Twiggy: We will raise our flag of victory atop Mt. Victory tonight!

Fantastic: So Kurt Lauderdale, look out – and I suppose Fred Laney should look out too – because we’re coming for you tonight, and you better put up or shut up!

RATING: 49

NOTES: Twiggy gained overness from this segment. Kid Fantastic gained overness from this segment.

================

Adam Flash vs. Sweatsuit Steve

After that blistering promo that surely stung Fred Laney’s very soul, we get a matchup between former partners, as Adam Flash demanded a shot at Sweatsuit Steve following their main event tag match from last month. Steve, decked out in an all-black sweatsuit to show off his brooding intensity, doesn’t get two steps into the ring before Flash pounces on him, immediately going to town on his particularly poor choice of a partner. Flash connects with a big uppercut palm strike, which has Steve reeling, and Flash goes up top quickly. He comes flying off with the Last Call leg drop, but Steve manages to roll out of the way, much to the surprise of everyone in the bingo hall, including Adam Flash! Flash crashes awkwardly into the mat, and Steve immediately jumps on him and rolls him up! 1………………2…………………..NO! Flash just, and I mean JUST, kicks out, and the match continues. Instead of being disappointed by his near-miss, Steve stays on the offensive. He tosses Flash into the ropes and back bodydrops him, then hits a running elbow to Flash’s throat. The crowd is getting behind Steve as he throws Flash into the corner and hits a running splash on Flash. Steve climbs the second turnbuckle and starts delivering the punches to Flash’s head, with the crowd counting along. Just as Steve and the crowd reach “NINE!”, Flash gets an arm loose and sends it straight into Sweatsuit Steve’s groin, which is seen by everyone EXCEPT referee Mike Hunter. As I contemplate a company-wide vision plan, Steve falls straight backwards onto the mat, and Flash immediately drops down and pins him to the mat – while putting his feet on the ropes for extra leverage! Again, Hunter doesn’t notice, having already dropped into position, and makes the count: 1……………….2………………..3! Adam Flash picks up a tainted win, and gets his revenge against Sweatsuit Steve!

WINNER: Adam Flash

RATING: 49

CROWD: 36

MATCH: 63

================

Flash On The Mic!

Flash, still panting a little bit, takes the microphone from Joe Wheeler at ringside and slides back into the ring, looking like he has something to say.

Flash: You know what, taking down this sack of crap is nice and all, but it doesn’t get me what I wanted: The one-on-one shot for the RCW World Title that I so richly deserve! Chance Beckett’s afraid of taking me on one-on-one, because he knows that I’m a legitimate challenger for that title! He can fight the reporter guy, he’ll fight George Sandy Vagina, but he won’t fight me ONE….ON…..ONE. If he does, he knows he doesn’t stand a chance against me.

The crowd is booing this speech heavily by now, although I notice Earl and the Polero clan are still laughing at the sandy vagina joke. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I suppose.

Flash: Beckett, this is on you! I know that tonight, you’re going to declare your next challenger! I suggest you choose wisely, Chance! Because if that announcement isn’t what I want to hear, then you better watch your goddamn back, Beckett! You better watch your GODDAMN BACK! I’ll be waiting, CHANCE!

As he spits out ‘Chance’, he throws the microphone to the ground and walks out of the ring, throwing a kick at a still-downed Sweatsuit Steve. I would suggest installing a steel cup in the sweatsuit next time.

RATING: 57

NOTES: Adam Flash gained overness from this segment.

================

...And Now John Wellington Speaks!

As Flash heads to the back, John Wellington passes him in the aisleway, and the two give each other an annoyed look before moving on. Wellington slides into the ring and grabs Flash’s microphone. He’s about to hand it to Joe Wheeler, but stops, reconsidering, then takes the microphone for himself and heads to the middle of the ring. He begins to speak as Joe fumes on the outside, feeling naked without his microphone.

Wellington: You know what? I’ve had something I want to say about this place since Day 1, and now, here’s my chance. You ready, people? I hate this place. HATE it!

The crowd roundly boos Wellington, which gives Wellington the first smile seen on his face during his entire RCW tenure.

Wellington: Renaissance Championship Wrestling? If this is the renaissance, send me back to the Dark Age! This place is a joke! We’ve got a reporter, an ex-jock, a whipped guy, a college kid putting his way through school, a sweatsuit aficionado, and then there’s that Twiggy idiot! This place is an insult to someone of my abilities!

The crowd continues booing Wellington, who now seems all too happy to continue running us down.

Wellington: I’ve spent ten years training, practicing, and biding my time to become a wrestling superstar! I’m not going to let this federation be the weight around my ankle! And while I’d be ashamed to have that title belt label me as your champion, it’s my ticket out of this dump! Once I win the RCW Title, which will be VERY soon, the big boys are going to come calling. And when that happens, I’ll be on the first plane, bus, car, train, motorized scooter, size 10.5 pair of roller skates, or teleporter out of goddamn Brooklyn and this piece of shit bingo hall!

The crowd, particularly the entire Polero family, absolutely ERUPTS in anger at this statement. A couple of Poleros try to charge out of the crowd and take Wellington down, but the combined efforts of Mike Hunter, Sound Guy, and Joe Wheeler keep the crowd behind the barrier.

Wellington: Get mad about it if you want, but I’m not resigning myself to this life. There are too many big names out there waiting to me to take them down! The world may not know it yet, but they’re waiting for me, and I’m not gonna keep them waiting. Now get my opponent out here so I can get one step closer to those roller skates!

RATING: 67

NOTES: John Wellington gained overness from this segment.

================

John Wellington vs. Sam Artino

As if trying to prove Wellington’s point, his opponent, RCW’s very own Bruno Sammartino impersonator, come walking down to the ring to get the match underway. Sam Artino immediately goes to lock in a bearhug, but it’s way too early, and Wellington evades it with ease before taking Artino off his feet with a dropkick. Wellington continues on the advantage, landing a series of quick strikes to keep Artino off-balance and on the move. Artino, after spending a few minutes bouncing off the mat, finally manages to connect with a lariat, shifting the tide in his favor. He tackles Wellington into the corner, then hits a series of shoulder thrusts, slamming Wellington’s back again and again into the unforgiving turnbuckles. As Wellington stumbles forward, Artino locks him into the bearhug, putting all the pressure on Wellington’s aching back! Wellington squirms around, trying to break Artino’s hold, but can’t quite get loose. Finally, he manages to swing a half-hearted jab into Artino’s gut, which stuns him enough for Wellington to shake free! Wellington grabs Artino and tries to lift him into the E. Coli Driver, but Artino back bodydrops him to the canvas. Artino goes for a big splash on the ground, but Wellington dives out of the way, leaving Artino to eat nothing but canvas! Wellington jumps onto the second rope and connects with a double axe handle to the back of Artino’s head, stunning the bigger man. Artino bends over, holding the back of his head, giving Wellington the opening he needs to grab Sam and lift him up before spiking him into the ground with the E. Coli Driver! He goes for the cover: 1……………….2……………….3! John Wellington picks up a big win over Sam Artino!

WINNER: John Wellington

RATING: 52

CROWD: 41

MATCH: 64

NOTES: Sam Artino didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating.

================

Trippin' With: Chance Beckett!

With Trippin’ up next, the set gets loaded into the ring. Dave Tripps, dressed in his nicest suit (this particular one is an UNDERSTATED plaid), comes walking down to the ring as his fake news music blares behind him. He slides in and takes his place at his desk. He goes to shuffle his papers, realizes he only has one sheet of paper, and instead smoothes it out before looking up into the ‘camera’ and starting the show.

Tripps: Good evening all, and welcome to another exciting edition of the fastest-growing show in wrestling today, Trippin’! Hosted by me, Dave Tripps, we aim to bring you the most important information in our business today! Tonight we’re going to get right down to business, because do we have something special lined up for you fans tonight! Oh boy, do we! Our guest tonight is the first two-time guest in Trippin’ history, and was a really good sport about the way I treated him last time! Say hello to your RCW World Champion, Mr. Chance Beckett!

Beckett gets a mixed reaction as he comes out down the aisle, stroking the championship belt that he has slung around his shoulder. Beckett slides into the ring and warily shakes hands with Dave Tripps before taking a seat across the desk from him.

Tripps: Mr. Beckett, welcome back to the Trip. I really appreciate you taking your time out, especially after the….the incident last time.

Beckett: No problem – but if you even think of trying something like that again, I’m outta here.

Tripps: Like I said, all water under the bridge. Now, Mr. Beckett, there’s clearly a lot of controversy swirling around you and the RCW World Title right now.

Beckett: It goes with the territory, Dave. When you’re as good as I am, and you’re perched on top of the world, you’re always going to have people trying to scramble up behind you.

Tripps: There definitely are a lot of people who look like they want a shot at that title. In fact, both Adam Flash and John Wellington have asked for shots tonight, and I’m sure George Sand is still looking for another chance after Adam Flash’s attack two months ago!

Beckett: Dave, after looking over my challengers, I’ve worked out everything. This is the deal: next month, Renaissance Championship Wrestling is holding an aptly-titled event called Victory Strikes Again. And I’m sure it will, as I will defend my RCW World Title in the main event.

Tripps: And who has signed on to compete with you?

Chance, clearly annoyed at being interrupted, snaps back:

Beckett: I was just getting to that, Dave!

Tripps: Sorry.

Beckett: Anyways, the main event will be a triple threat match between myself, George Sand, and Adam Flash. The two of them have been messing with each other for months, and if I only fight one of them, the other is sure to interfere and ruin it like last time. So gentlemen, you can take it out on each other in the ring!

Tripps: What a matchup that should be! George Sand and Adam Flash taking on Chance Beckett in a trip…

Beckett: Ah, but Dave, I’m not quite done yet! You see, I’m tired of these two fools being the only ones hanging around me and my title. RCW has a roster full of people waiting to lose to me, and I want to oblige them. Therefore, there will be an added stipulation: the two losers of that match will be unable to challenge for the RCW World Title for six months! If I am, god forbid, one of those losers, I’ll have my obligatory rematch, but nothing more!

Tripps: This is quite the announcement!

Beckett: So after RCW Victory Strikes Again next month, we’ll see who truly deserves to hold the RCW title, and we’ll see who’s been blowing smoke all this time. We’ve all got something to lose – the question is, will George Sand and Adam Flash take the Chance?

Tripps: Mr. Beckett, thank you SO much for being here on Trippin’! Folks, that is all the time we have for today! Stay tuned, because our main event for tonight is just about to get underway, as Fred Laney and Kurt Lauderdale take on Kid Fantastic and Twiggy! Goodnight, everybody!

RATING: 60

NOTES: Chance Beckett gained overness from this segment. Dave Tripps gained overness from this segment.

================

Kurt Lauderdale/Fred Laney vs. Kid Fantastic/Twiggy

Both teams come down to the ring uneventfully, with even Twiggy looking serious (or as serious as he can in a giant Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt and culottes). Both teams confer briefly, and Kurt Lauderdale and Twiggy start off the match for their teams. Twiggy tries to stay out of Lauderdale’s reach, slapping away Kurt’s arms as he tries to grab him. Lauderdale lunges at Twiggy, who dodges it before rearing back and slapping the taste out of Kurt’s mouth! The echo goes bouncing off the walls of the bingo hall, and the crowd lets loose with an “OOOOOO!” just before Lauderdale, incensed, levels Twiggy with a massive clothesline. Lauderdale follows up with a pair of giant stomps that just miss the rolling Twiggy, who reaches out to make the tag – before realizing he’s rolled into the wrong corner. He looks up, and eats a big stomp straight into the face from Kurt Lauderdale!

Twiggy’s nose is immediately busted open, and Mike Hunter steps in to see if Twiggy’s OK. Before Twiggy can finish nodding yes, Hunter gets thrown aside by Kurt Lauderdale, who scoops Twiggy into a standing position. He picks him up and puts him on his shoulder before hitting a running powerslam on Twiggy, sending the smaller man careening across the mat straight into the enemy’s corner. Lauderdale walks over and tags Fred Laney in. Lauderdale puts Twiggy into an abdominal stretch as Laney hits a big knee to Twiggy’s exposed side, knocking the wind out of him. Laney picks up Twiggy and whips him across the ring before hitting him with a standing spinebuster! As Twiggy lies limply on the canvas, Laney makes the cover: 1……………2……………no! Twiggy kicks out!

Laney is annoyed and stands up, yelling at Kurt and the referee. He turns around, only to have Twiggy leap off the canvas and take Laney down with a snap hurracanrana! Laney goes cartwheeling down as Twiggy, with a burst of energy, lunges into his corner and tags in Kid Fantastic! Fantastic comes sprinting into the ring and immediately throws a running forearm at Kurt Lauderdale, who’s standing on the ring apron looking for a tag from Laney. As Lauderdale goes falling back, Fantastic hops to the apron, then springboards in and takes Laney down with a front dropkick! Kid Fantastic takes advantage and goes for a cradle! 1…………………2……………..NO! Kurt Lauderdale breaks up the pin with a double axe handle to the back of Kid Fantastic, and the match continues. Lauderdale starts brawling with Fantastic, who is quickly overwhelmed by Lauderdale’s physicality. Lauderdale manages to grab him and plant him into the canvas with a piledriver before Mike Hunter orders him out of the ring. Lauderdale starts to argue, but Twiggy comes flying in and starts to brawl with Lauderdale! As Hunter tries to break up their fight, which ends up on the outside after a Cactus Clothesline from Twiggy, Fred Laney and Kid Fantastic are both down on the inside!

Laney is well ahead of Fantastic, pulling himself to his feet as the Kid is starting to stir. Laney sees his opening and lifts him up before putting him up in the stalling suplex he loves. The crowd boos as Laney holds him, but starts to cheer as Twiggy, having taken the advantage on the outside, jumps onto the top turnbuckle. He comes flying on and connects with a dropkick to Laney’s stomach, which nearly knocks Laney over. As Laney struggles, Kid Fantastic manages to slither out of his grip and drops to the ground – but he grabs Fred Laney’s head as he does, hitting a spectacular Stunner on Laney! Laney is down and out as Kid Fantastic crawls over to him and makes the cover! Mike Hunter slides in from the outside and makes the count! 1…………….2…………………and Kurt Lauderdale pulls Mike Hunter back out of the ring, interrupting the count!

Lauderdale taunts Kid Fantastic from the outside as Mike Hunter gets up, furious with Lauderdale’s actions. He starts yelling at Kurt as Fantastic jumps onto the top turnbuckle, waiting for his chance. Twiggy sees what’s happening and alertly slaps Kid Fantastic’s leg, tagging himself into the match, just a second before Kid Fantastic goes flying off the top rope with a corkscrew! He slams into Lauderdale, narrowly missing Hunter’s head! With those two down on the outside, Fred Laney has gotten to his feet, and stares at the carnage on the outside. Not knowing Fantastic had tagged out, he grabs the ring rope, looking to climb out of the ring, when a hand taps him on the shoulder. He turns around, only to have Twiggy yell “BOO!” at the top of his lungs in Laney’s face before he doubles over laughing. Laney, who recoiled slightly, gets a “HE SCARED YOU!” chant coming from the Polero section. Furious, Laney winds up – and slams into Twiggy’s face with the Wonderpunch! Twiggy drops like a sack of potatoes, and Laney mockingly laughs at Twiggy, standing over him.

Mike Hunter, having checked on the two men outside, slides back into the ring as Fred Laney walks to the opposite corner. He gets down into a crouch and waits for Twiggy to get up, looking to hit the spear and end the matchup. Twiggy pulls himself up by the corner ropes, and Laney starts a dead run towards him right as Twiggy turns around. Twiggy instinctively jumps up into the air, using the ropes as leverage, and Fred Laney runs straight through the space Twiggy used to be, instead connecting with the turnbuckle! Twiggy takes advantage of the stunned Laney and drops down into a sunset flip, rolling up Fred Laney! Mike Hunter drops into position for the count: 1…………………….2……………………………3! Twiggy pins Fred Laney and picks up the win for his team! Twiggy gets up wearily and has Mike Hunter raise his hand before bursting into a splendid version of the Funky Chicken – clearly his victory dance. Kid Fantastic slides into the ring as well and slaps Twiggy, mid-step, on the back to congratulate him for the victory. The two men stand side-by-side, one with arms raised in victory, the other doing the chicken dance, as RCW Carnaval comes to a close!

RATING: 58

CROWD: 39

MATCH: 77

OVERALL: 56

Edited April 20, 2006 by rockyoursox

[rockyoursox]

OCTOBER 3, 2006

RCW “HEADQUARTERS”

Well, another good month for RCW. Carnaval was the best show, start to finish, we had put on yet. And what had made me happiest wasn’t the excellent tag main event we had - which I loved a lot, by the way. And it wasn’t the build for the next show, Victory Strikes Again, which had the biggest single match in RCW’s history planned for it. While the Sand vs. Beckett vs. Flash should be great, that wasn’t the best part of this either. The best part of things was that the second stage of RCW storylines were either starting, or going to start in the near future. Honestly, when Kick Start began the RCW era, I wasn’t sure that we would make it to this point. So many things could have gone wrong – nobody could have show up to the first show, perhaps. What if the crowd had absolutely crapped over everything we had done? Or we had lost all our money in some ridiculous manner? The fact that we were still alive and going strong was enough to make me really, really happy about RCW and its future.

I hopped on the net and checked to see if anyone had picked up on RCW coverage yet. Sadly, still nothing – hopefully some people out there would be taking notice of RCW really soon. Of course, if the other promotions kept doing as poorly as they had been, people wouldn’t have much of a choice but to pay attention to us. In April, when RCW did its first show, we had a total of 34 promotions on our radar – and we, sadly, were the smallest of the 34. The wrestling business was in a boom period, and we were riding it well. The market was around 70% or so of what Sophie had estimated to be its peak (I think 69% was her actual figure), and it seemed only to be on the way up. But you wouldn’t know the market was booming based on how the other promotions had done. We were down to 22 promotions – that’s twelve fewer than when we started out. And in even better news, we had moved up to the #15 overall spot. In fact, our promotion was growing to the size where we might become more of a regional company than the small, one-location promotion we had started out as. All welcome news for us.

There was always a little bit of bad news floating around, of course. That enhanced public image of ours that was pushing us so closely to regional level wasn’t coming cheap. We had lost a significant amount of money, and the fact that half our roster was demanding a 10% pay increase wasn’t helping anything. I was hoping that when we started up at the regional level, we’d be able to attract some bigger sponsors. We had to re-up with one sponsor recently, but with regional level only a month or two away, right before our other sponsor contracts were up, I figured we could really pick up some funds there and start pushing ourselves into the good side of the ledger again.

I opened up my inbox, and there were three messages sitting there waiting for me. Why is it that on the days you get 49 e-mails, none of them are worth reading, but when you get three e-mails, all of them are important? I looked at the three names on the e-mails: Jack, Fred Laney, and….Katsushi Takemura. VEEEEEEERY interesting. Being the curious bastard I am, I had to open Takemura’s e-mail first.

Dear. Mr. Hawkins –

It pains me very great to say that I have not have any recent employment in the independent wrestling world. I wrestled quickly for the new promotion that had opened, NWA: Old School Rulez, but they have unfortunately releazed me. Because of this poor luck and a need to provide for my wife and children, I would ask that I be reinstated to Renaissance Champions Wrestling. I can agree to work for you’re terms if it means that i can help to feed my family. Please right back to me.

- Katsushi Takemura

[rockyoursox]

RCW VICTORY STRIKES AGAIN

OCTOBER 29, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

==================

Trippin’ With: Twiggy

RCW Victory Strikes Again kicks off with Dave Tripps and the Trippin’ set in the ring, getting ready for yet another edition of the hottest show in wrestling today. Tripps seems excited today, and starts up before the horrendous intro music has finished playing for the crowd of 184 people in attendance.

Tripps: RCW fans, welcome back once again to the biggest show in the wrestling business! This is Trippin’, and I’m your host, Dave Tripps. Today on the show, we have a very important guest. This man has been a fan favorite since his debut in Renaissance Championship Wrestling six months ago, and last month, he emerged from the main event of RCW Carnaval victorious in what could only be described as an upset! Here to talk about his win is RCW superstar Twiggy! Twiggy, come on out!

Twiggy, dressed in a powder blue singlet, comes walking down the aisle and slides into the ring…on his back. Dave offers his hand to Twiggy, but Twiggy instead opts for the European-style double cheek kiss, causing Tripps to drop his blue index cards on the canvas. Twiggy takes a seat and twirls himself around in the chair, and Dave sits down across from him, eager to begin the interview.

Tripps: So, Twiggy, how did you feel when you pinned Fred Laney last month at Carnaval?

Twiggy (nonchalantly): Good.

Tripps: You and Fred Laney have had issues in the past – did this match help to end those issues, or do you think this isn’t quite over.

Twiggy: I dunno.

Twiggy stares off idly into space as he answers the questions, which has Tripps a bit confused as he asks his next question.

Tripps: How do you feel about late-breaking news, first reported by our sister affiliate at WJDS 9 Dallas, that Fred Laney was injured while training and stands to miss the next two months?

Twiggy: Boo-boos are bad.

Tripps: Twiggy, you seem very quiet today. Do you have anything that you’d like to share with our studio audience, or our viewers watching at home?

Twiggy: Me and Kid Fantastic had cheeseburgers after the match. Mine had LOTS of relish on it. I love relish. Don’t you love relish? Relish is the best condiment at the supermarket. I tried to tell the ketchup that it wasn’t personal, and that I liked the ketchup too, but the man putting the mustard on the shelf told me to leave the store. He was mean. He probably liked ketchup better than relish and was standing up for it. But relish is better, and he is a wrong man.

Tripps: Um….OK? One last question, Twiggy – you have a match against John Wellington coming up in just a second – do you think you’ll stretch your winning streak to two straight matches?

Twiggy: Nes. It’s like yes and no at once – so nes.

Tripps: Well…um…well, you heard it here first, folks! Twiggy may or may not win his match against John Wellington! That’s all the time we have for Trippin’ today, but stay tuned for great RCW action, including tonight’s triple threat main event for the RCW World Title! And John Wellington vs. Twiggy is coming up NEXT!

RATING: 52

NOTES: Twiggy gained overness from this segment. Dave Tripps gained overness from this segment.

===================

Twiggy vs. John Wellington

As the set gets unloaded, John Wellington comes walking down to the ring. Clearly having heard enough from Twiggy, Wellington doesn’t even wait for the rest of the Trippin’ set to be removed, instead jumping right into action and throwing Twiggy into the desk. As Dave Tripps yells at Wellington from the outside, demanding that his set be protected, Wellington ignores him. After tossing Twiggy around the ring for a few minutes and dominating the match, Twiggy makes a small comeback. Twiggy knocks Wellington down with a clothesline and climbs on top of the desk before launching himself off, but Wellington meets him with a dropkick to Twiggy’s exposed sternum! As Twiggy doubles over, Wellington scoops him up and plants him straight into the canvas with an E. Coli Driver! 1………………2…………………3! Wellington gets the win over last month’s main event winner, and in dominating fashion! To add insult to injury, Wellington grabs Twiggy’s head and tosses it into the side of the desk. A small cracking noise comes from the desk as Tripps, still on the outside, lets out a pathetic-sounding cry. Wellington just leaves the ring, seemingly no less annoyed than he was at the beginning of the match.

RATING: 55

CROWD: 41

MATCH: 69

=================

Nick Collyer vs. Sweatsuit Steve

Sweatsuit Steve comes down to the ring in an all-red sweatsuit, looking similar to a cherry tomato as he slides into the ring to take on Nick Collyer. With both men winless in their RCW tenures so far, the tensions are high – well, high in the ring, as the crowd doesn’t particularly seem to care about the outcome. The two men go back and forth, with Steve taking the advantage after a couple of minutes. He locks in a series of restholds, trying to drain Collyer, but Nick manages to slip out of the simplistic holds. He hits Steve with a big dropkick, then heads to the top rope for the one flashy move he knows: the shooting star press! Collyer comes off and connects perfectly with the shooting star, and referee Mike Hunter makes the cover: 1……………2………………3! Nick Collyer earns his first RCW win, and the first win of his young career!

RATING: 44

CROWD: 28

MATCH: 60

====================

George Sand Answers The Questions

George comes down to the ring and takes a microphone from ringside. As he gets ready to speak, Joe Wheeler notes that Sand is still without his manager Francoise for the third consecutive month.

Sand: Tonight is the biggest night of my career. Tonight, I have a chance to win the RCW World Title. I step into the ring with Chance Beckett and Adam Flash, and I’ll have my big chance. I don’t have to worry about Adam Flash running in from behind to attack me like last time. Everything’s in front of me, and the title is mine for the taking. But even though I have the biggest match of my career tonight, no one has been asking me about it. Instead, every question I get is about Francoise. Where’s Francoise? Is she OK? When’s she coming back?

The crowd buzzes, as they’ve been wondering the same thing. In fact, they were probably the ones bugging Sand with the questions and annoying him in the first place.

Sand: Well, I need to focus on this match. At first, I thought ignoring the questions would make them go away, but it didn’t work. So to make sure that people will leave me alone so I can get ready, this is what the deal is. Francoise doesn’t approve of me wrestling. She thinks it’s dangerous, that it’s not safe. She doesn’t understand. We had a lot of fights about it, and nothing got resolved. After my match with Chance Beckett for the RCW Title, she and I got into a huge fight. She didn’t like me taking risks in my matches, and she didn’t want people like Adam Flash running in to attack me. She gave me an ultimatum: she wasn’t coming back here, and she didn’t want me to come back either.

The crowd is hushed a little, with the exception of one drunk (amazingly NOT a Polero) screaming out “GET A HOOKER!” to Sand, a comment he wisely ignores.

Sand: Well, I chose. I came back. This is what I want to do. If Francoise doesn’t understand, we can’t be together. I still love her very much, and I hope she knows that. If you see this somehow, Francoise, I love you. But I love this too, and I’m not going to stop. Please come back, so I can combine the two things I love.

Sand pauses for a moment before an abrupt gear change back to Focused Mode:

Sand: OK, so now you people know. And I have a main event title match to get ready for. The next time you see me, I’ll be on my way to kicking ass the way I always do and becoming the new RCW World Champion. The last sands of Beckett’s reign have dropped from the hourglass – now it’s my turn.

RATING: 40

====================

Simon Sanders vs. Kurt Lauderdale

Simon Sanders comes out with his general happy-go-lucky attitude, but he’s going to need a LOT of that luck against Kurt Lauderdale. Lauderdale looks absolutely furious, still fuming from his tag team loss against Twiggy and his rival Kid Fantastic. Lauderdale takes all of his frustrations out on Sanders, who does a lousy job of making Kurt’s offense look even more awe-inspiring than it normally does. At one point, Lauderdale tangles Sanders up in the ropes and begins to choke him with the top rope, earning him a stern rebuke from Mike Hunter. Sanders doesn’t fare much better upon freeing himself, however, and a Career Killer, Lauderdale’s press slam DVD, finishes the match with the academic 1, 2, 3. As Lauderdale goes stomping to the back, he passes Kid Fantastic, on his way out to the ring. The two exchange glares, but Lauderdale leaves him alone and stomps his way to the back, leaving Kid Fantastic to work his way down to the ring.

RATING: 48

CROWD: 34

MATCH: 62

NOTES: Simon Sanders didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating.

=======================

Kid Fantastic On The Stick!

Fantastic grabs the microphone, clearly flustered after passing Kurt Lauderdale, and starts talking - at about a mile a minute.

Fantastic: Last month was a great feeling. Even though I wasn’t the one who scored the pinfall, and even though it was Fred Laney, and not Kurt Lauderdale, who went out on his back, last month’s main event was one of the greatest moments of my life.

The crowd gives Fantastic a small round of applause before he continues…

Fantastic: Kurt Lauderdale is nothing but a bully, an idiot who thinks that he can toss anyone around who bothers him for whatever simplistic reason crawls into his undercooked brain. I’ve dealt with people like him my whole life. In grade school, I was the one who got slammed against a concrete wall for kicks at recess. Did I do anything to deserve it? No. But it happened anyways.

Fantastic pauses for a moment before going on.

Fantastic: Wrestling is a passion of mine. That’s why I spent what little money I had to train and become a professional wrestler. That’s why I joined RCW to help me make money while going to school. I could have worked at McDonald’s, made more money, and been a lot better off. But I came here because this is my dream. And I’m not gonna let some jerkoff like Kurt Lauderdale be the one to ruin this for me!

The crowd is more into Fantastic now, and the ovation grows as Fantastic keeps talking.

Fantastic: Kurt, I know people like you. You’re not going to leave me alone after last month. Instead, you’ll probably go out and screw with me even more. But I won’t deal with your crap. You gave me a beating backstage, you gave me a concussion, but I’m going to give YOU a lesson. People only put up with crap like yours for so long, and then they fight back. I’m fighting back, Kurt, and I’ll take whatever you’ve got.

RATING: 54

NOTES: Kid Fantastic gained overness from this segment.

=====================

Kid Fantastic vs. Dave Tripps

With the crowd still cheering on Fantastic, Dave Tripps comes heading down to the ring for his matchup against the Kid. Still feeling the momentum from the interview, Fantastic jumps all over Dave Tripps, knocking him around the ring like a pinball. Fantastic punctuates the beating with a spinning wheel kick that sends Tripps flying over the top rope to the outside. Fantastic rolls him back into the ring, but only gets a two count before Tripps kicks out. Fantastic beats on Tripps a while more, sticking him in the corner and busting out every strike he has in his arsenal. After thoroughly decimating Tripps, Fantastic heads to the top rope and comes off with the Putdowm (450 Splash)…but he misses, with Tripps rolling out of the way at the last second! Fantastic staggers up, and Dave Tripps comes running up and hits Kid Fantastic with a running diamond cutter, which Joe Wheeler sells as the Newsbreak. Fantastic bounces off the mat from the move, and Tripps rolls him up for the pin: 1………………..2…………………3! Dave Tripps gets an improbable upset win over Kid Fantastic!

RATING: 57

CROWD: 35

MATCH: 80

=====================

RCW WORLD TITLE MATCH

Chance Beckett vs. Adam Flash vs. George Sand

With the crowd still buzzing from the upset win by Dave Tripps, Joe Wheeler announces that it’s time for the main event. Each man comes down to the ring separately, with George Sand’s cheers being drowned out by Adam Flash’s hellacious boos. Chance Beckett, the champion, enters last, looking at the RCW title belt around his waist as he walks down to the ring. Referee Mike Hunter takes the belt away from him and holds it in the air, allowing the entire crowd to look at it, before calling for the bell to begin the match.

The early goings consist of a lot of uncoordinated brawling, with neither of the three men making alliances or gaining an advantage. However, George Sand goes down to an Adam Flash kick, leaving Flash and Beckett to square off. The two men brawl, with Beckett using his chain wrestling techniques to score several near falls, each of which Flash manages to escape. As Beckett sets up Flash for the Chance Encounter, Sand runs in and takes out Beckett with a wicked clothesline to the back of the head before going right at Flash. Flash gets pummeled by Sand, but Beckett gets back to his feet and seeks his revenge on Sand. Sand and Beckett brawl, trading off occasional moves, as Flash rolls to the outside to recuperate.

Sand gets the upper hand, hitting Beckett with a wicked-looking dragon suplex. Sand bridges the suplex and goes for the pin: 1…………..2…………..no, Beckett kicks out! Sand heads up top to try and capitalize, but Adam Flash jumps onto the apron and shoves Sand off the top and into the ring! Sand picks himself up and turns to confront Flash on the outside, but Beckett grabs him from behind, turns him around, and delivers the Chance Encounter! Beckett goes for the pinfall: 1…………………2……………….and Adam Flash pulls Chance Beckett off George Sand, and to the arena floor outside! Flash rolls into the ring and climbs to the top rope before leaping off, delivering the Last Call guillotine leg drop from the top rope! The crowd moans as Flash makes the cover: 1………………..2………………..and Chance Beckett breaks the count!

George Sand, completely devastated from both men’s finishers, rolls to the outside as Beckett and Flash brawl with each other inside the ring. Suddenly, the focus shifts to the ringside area, where a fan fights their way to ringside, making a beeline for George Sand! Sand, most likely seeing double, looks up – and sees Francoise’s face looking back at his! Sand looks confused, but Francoise just smiles at him.

Francoise: George, go get ‘em! Win the title! You can do it, George! You can do it! Go!

Sand, revitalized by Francoise’s surprising appearance, pulls himself up while Beckett has a rear sleeper locked on Flash. Beckett continues to grind it out, looking for the submission, but both men get taken down by a springboard missile dropkick by George Sand! Sand staggers over and covers Adam Flash: 1………………2……………….kickout! Sand curses to himself, then covers Chance Beckett: 1……………………..2……………………Beckett kicks out too! Chance slams his hand against the canvas, looks at both downed men, and picks up Adam Flash, looking to end the match. A series of right hands, punctuated by a straight uppercut, sends Flash looping backwards, giving Sand the opportunity to scoop up Flash and plant him with the Sands Of Time! Before he can make the cover, Chance Beckett twirls Sand around and plants him with the Chance Encounter, just as he did a few minutes earlier! Francoise screams for Sand to kick out as Chance crawls over and makes the cover on Sand: 1…………………..2……………………….3! Chance Beckett has retained his RCW World Championship!

Beckett snatches the title away from Mike Hunter and holds it aloft for the crowd, who give a fairly negative reaction, thinking that Sand had the match won. Adam Flash rolls out of the ring and drops to the floor, absolutely drained by the match. Sand starts to pick himself up off the mat, seemingly just realizing that he was pinned. As he staggers up, looking distraught, Francoise slides into the ring and wraps her arms around George, looking just as overwhelmed as George does. She looks him in the eye for a moment, then kisses him on the cheek and raises his hand into the air. The crowd gives the two an ovation as Sand, barely able to stand, balances against Francoise and soaks in the applause as RCW Victory Strikes Again comes to a close.

RATING: 64

CROWD: 48

MATCH: 80

NOTES: The RCW World Title has gained in image

OVERALL: 53

[rockyoursox]

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2006

RCW “HEADQUARTERS”

Today was a big day for RCW: based on the numbers that Sophie and I had put together, enough people in the area had heard of us to classify Renaissance Championship Wrestling as a regional company, rather than a small one. I celebrated it quietly with a bottle of champagne in front of the TV. OK, not champagne – the Champagne of Beers. Nothing says victory like a High Life. I wasn’t really in the mood to celebrate – none of my friends were in the city, although most of them would probably just laugh if I wanted to celebrate the success of my Brooklyn-based wrestling federation with them. Jack was busy with school and the like, and Sophie was doing whatever the hell Sophie does when she’s not working for me. To be perfectly honest, I don’t want to know. From the last ten years of conversations, I know there are multiple cats involved – that’s a big enough red light for me.

Of course, after I finished off my ‘champagne’, I had work to do – the move to being a regional fed required us to perform some basic upgrades to the RCW infrastructure, and they were moves that would definitely hurt us in the short term financial area. By changing our image to that of a regional federation, we couldn’t skimp in a few areas. We needed to hire a medic, so I replaced the memory of Helen Canada with our new medic, Jeff. Didn’t catch his last name – in fact, I don’t think he gave it. He mentioned something about being paid under the table due to some minor issues with people in black suits, and I decided to humor him for now. He worked cheap, so at least I wouldn’t be carrying wads of cash down to the bingo hall.

We also needed a new referee to assist Mike Hunter in his duties – apparently he was getting overexposed, or something similar that Sophie told me in garbled business-speak that even I couldn’t decipher. Here, I splurged and got the guy with an actual last name, albeit an unfortunate one – Frank Stool was the new referee in the RCW family. I made a quick promise to myself to make sure Earl didn’t find out what Frank’s last name was – I wasn’t in the mood to deal with a bunch of stool sample jokes all show long.

We also needed to make some changes in our financial allocations. Advertising was gonna cost us even more to keep our public image climbing, so up it went another few points. Our production costs were also prohibitive, so they got knocked up a bit, at the one-time expense of the Hawkins checkbook. This was gonna hurt us significantly in the short term, with those costs being added to an already-straining budget. However, contracts with our sponsors started coming up after two more shows, and with our move to regional status, we were going to be looking at a lot more companies becoming interesting in RCW. Until then, we’d have to suffer, but my pocketbook would be able to rest in just a few short months, when RCW would hopefully become self-sustaining.

And the final piece of the puzzle: new faces. In an attempt to make RCW look less rinky-dink, Sophie advised me a few new faces were necessary to add to the roster. She suggested five new guys, which was definitely going to put a strain on RCW’s roster, which only stood at 16 as it was. I hit the market looking for some new personnel, and came away with five people who I thought could really get the job done for us. They’d debut over the next few shows, with each of them having different roles already planned out in my mind. I’m sure the wrestling gods will find a way to wreck those pretty quickly, but until then, things are gonna look nice and orderly in my head. And without further ado, the new Renaissance Championship Wrestling employees:

Aidan Nathans (20 Over): Aidan was a young British worker who had moved into America, looking for his chance to catch on in RCW. I liked what I had seen from tapes of his matches, but I didn’t like the name. Aidan was too wussy a name, the kind of name that screams “Take my lunch money, please!” With an eye on the future, and in an effort to compromise with Aidan, we settled on a new name. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Ian Gomes.

Tizziana (21 Over): Tizziana was a female who had worked a couple of independent dates managing various riffraff. I saw potential though, and there were plenty of RCW workers who could use a mouthpiece.

Kent Kohl (20 Over) and Keith Kohl (20 Over): The Kohl Brothers were RCW’s first legitimate tag team. At some point in the future, I wanted to put together a tag division, so the Kohl Brothers would hopefully be a first step towards establishing tag team wrestling as a staple of Renaissance Championship Wrestling.

Travis Finity (16 Over): Finity had made a killing on the indy circuit with a liontamer gimmick – I have absolutely no idea how that one got over. However, that wouldn’t be continuing here in RCW. After another 3 AM night working over financial figures for RCW, I had an epiphany – a wrestler hooked on a caffeine rush. Time to see what Finity could do in fifth gear.

=========================

OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW CATEGORY 5

GEORGE SAND AND FRANCOISE SPEAK!

Although George Sand came out on the losing end of the triple-threat match at RCW Victory Strikes Again, it’s hard to say he walked out a loser – his manager and girlfriend Francoise made her return, cheering on George despite any personal misgivings. Sand may be out of the title picture for the next few months – what are his new plans?

ADAM FLASH IN ACTION!

Flash, the other loser in that triple threat match, is almost certainly steamed – despite not being pinned, he’s out of the RCW Title picture without the one on one shot he so badly desired. Will Flash have something to say to his rival George Sand? Perhaps, but Flash is in action tonight against an RCW newcomer, Ian Gomes. Can Flash get past his pseudo-defeat and defeat the next wave of RCW talent, or will he be stuck on last month’s events?

LAUDERDALE vs. TRIPPS!

Last week, Kid Fantastic suffered an major upset at the hands of reporter/wrestler Dave Tripps, who pinned Fantastic cleanly after hitting the News Break! This has apparently amused Fantastic’s rival Kurt Lauderdale, who has asked for a match against the man who defeated Fantastic last month. Will Lauderdale fare better than the masked Kid, or will Tripps run his win streak to two?

AND MORE!

Many more RCW talents will be in attendance on Sunday the 26th! See Travis Finity make his RCW debut! John Wellington, on a roll as of late, steps into the squared circle once again to take on Nick Collyer! All this and much more will take place at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall on the 26th! Make sure to get your tickets now – supply is limited!

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2006

EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY

RCW CATEGORY 5!