Diary of A Soldier in the Wars: A WWE '06 Diary

[Beeker00Zero]

I enjoyed this, but this didn't "fit" in with the atmosphere. Oh yeah, and don't just make your workers drunk and get 'em to sign a contract, it's getting old.

[Jaze]

Its not just me dude, the roster overhaul wasn't a good decision. Taker vs A ROH Guy in the SD! Main event is weird. Also, the Deus Ex Machina thing wouldve been funny if the rest of your diary was. Lots of people have funny things in their diary but this one was not even explained.

[RavenBlack]

Its not just me dude, the roster overhaul wasn't a good decision. Taker vs A ROH Guy in the SD! Main event is weird. Also, the Deus Ex Machina thing wouldve been funny if the rest of your diary was. Lots of people have funny things in their diary but this one was not even explained.

[EddieG]

Meanwhile, back on the plane, Roberts was still going crazy as only a drunken, cracked-out Jake Roberts could. Finally, me and Jerrelle knew we had to do something. I thought back to my training- back to my old sensei...

(FLASHBACK...)

Sensei: "Now, remember, young...what was your name again?"

"Don't you remember? It is..."

Sensei: "Never mind, it isn't important. I only have one thing left to teach you. You see, I have studied your progress. I have seen that you have become one of those rare breed of super-beings: That known as the 'Protagonists.' As one of these rare 'Protagonists', you have many great abilities beyond that of us normal people, better known as 'Supporting Cast'. One of these is that you have been granted with the rare ability to bend the rules of time and space so that no matter what you wish for, it will come into being by sheer willpower. You are a God on earth, young...uh, young one..."

"Are you serious, sensei? I really have all of this power at my fingertips?"

Sensei: "Of course, young...uh...you...I mean, look here. You managed to call a flashback at will, and you even managed to create me out of thin air...I mean, geez- you never even TOOK martial arts, kid..."

"Wait...sensei...you mean you never existed?"

Sensei: "Learn your lessons well, young one...use your power wisely...wisely..." I came out of the flashback sequence and looked at Jerrelle.

"I think I have an idea. Get on top of your chair..."

Clark: "My chair? But why?"

"Trust me, you'll know why..." I waited for Clark to get in position before I headed up to get Roberts...

Roberts: "Hey...don't come near me...unless you got me some crack...come on, daddy needs him some crack, man..." Just then, I put my hands together and called out the secret words...

"DEUS...EX...MACHINA! " Instantly, the area surrounding the two of us began to glow as I summoned the one being that could get a Motherfucking Jake the Snake off the Motherfucking Plane...

Samuel L. Jackson: "HOWDY, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Just then, Jackson hit Jake Roberts with a huge mallet, sending him down before he disappeared. With Jake Roberts down, I signaled to Jerrelle Clark, who hit a 630 Somersault onto Roberts and took him down, causing Roberts to disappear...for now...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

(SUPER-DEFORMED REFLECTO MOMENT!

Hi, loyal wOwrriors! Since it's finals time for yours truly, this is a special edition: Booked by Reflecto, written by Beeker00Zero. Let's give him a hand for helping out...

Beek: "Ow...why didn't you tell me going into Super-Deformed Mode really hurts?"

"Oh, suck it up- I've been doing this for years now and have no ill effects..."

Enjoy...and if you're really good, I'll come back with some extra bonuses at the end of the update for you. Until then, I'll be back with some feedback in the show itself...)

________________________________________________________________________________________

Smackdown Report...

Last Sunday… for those of you without memories (or too poor to pay for PPV) (Oh, come on...who expects people to remember the MATCHES in a Reflecto diary? There's a reason I'm widely considered the person who got the farthest on the lowest amount of match-writing skill..."Yeah, yeah...")

Video Recap: Rey Mysterio waits until Orton starts to rise, goes to springboard from the middle rope with the West Coast Pop, but a steel chair smacks across the back, causing him to fall from the top rope right into an RKOuttanowhere and Orton retains his title.

Smackdown is…

New variation on an old theme, but the walls are still being broken down as Chris Jericho kicks things off to explain his actions from Judgement Day. Pose, pyro, leaning hard against the ring ropes on the apron before he climbs into the ring and whaddaya know, he’s brought his own microphone.

“Good evening and welcome to Smackdown is…” and a bunch of smarks in the audience scream ‘JERICHO!’ Jericho pauses and shoots a look at the crowd. “How dated ARE your references? Smackdown is… finally the home of the sexiest beast in any jungle. The Demographic Defier, the Dual Industry Superstar and the Saviour of Friday Nights! Everyone knows Saturday Night’s alright for fighting, but what about Friday? Well, as I sat at home, basking in the fame, money and glory of being the founding father of Fozzy I watched in between my late night appearances and Grammy nominations at Friday seemed to be withering on the vine, a poor neglected fruit that clearly needed a healthy and heavy dose of Vitamin C! Naturally I had other offers from other promotions, ludicrously large amounts of money for one-day-a-week’s work. But Bischoff never does anything with me when he has me, and absolutely no one of any acclaim wants to work Thursdays! I mean, that’s just not pretty!”

And the crowd finally cottons on that Jericho’s a heel and the boos pick up.

“From the outset of my illustrious… and frankly sexy… career I’ve been a trailblazer, a paragon of virtue, a man without vice or equal. So I could hardly stay at home while an impostor, a usurper tries… and fails… at being a poor knock-off of the designer original. Yours truly!

So once more I’ve returned to save the WWE from lethargy, sloth and the mundane by ridding it of the only man small enough to be a parasite. Rey Mysterio. So listen up Junior, I’m the man who unified the top titles in professional wrestling, I’m the man who made it possible to play with the big boys, and if you recall, Rey-Rey, bay-bay, I’ve collected one of your precious possessions before back when I was collecting trophies.

As for Young Morton… er Orton… he was in the right place at the right time to benefit from my benevolence. But tonight, he’ll return part of the favour I bestowed upon him last week when he teams with me to take you and your housebroken pet Batista in a Very Special Main Event.

Now Rey-Rey, bay-bay. Kindly shut the hell up and listen up because this… is important. I’m going to give you some savvy career advice.

I broke the walls down and I broke the mould, so now I see you being a transitional one-trick undersized, underfed Shetland pony so I here I am. To put you out to pasture and to put the WWE back on track.

And don’t you EEEEEEEEEEEEEEver forget it!”

Overall: 93% (and just how many shoots did Jericho work into that interview?)

All I hear is…

Brazo de Plata versus Matt Striker

Finally, it took me a while but those wily music men in the E’s Head Office have outdone themselves again. They’ve reworked Queen’s ‘Radio GaGa’ into a salsa-fied “Brazo de Plata!” Brazo even pauses munching his ham to appreciate the remix. In a cute touch, the Brazo De Plata Prancers eat pork rinds!

Once the match started, the crowd didn’t care because Brazo was separated from his ham and Matt Striker carried the bulk of the offence. A few cute spots and a killer finish saved this match from being a complete loss. As Brazo side stepped a Matt Striker corner splash, ran across the ring to attempt his own Platalnche but had to pause to catch his breath long enough that Striker kicked the glacially-charging Brazo and then took the Rotund Luchadore with a headscissors. Later on Plata connected with his always impressive Jambon Buster in the corner and naturally went for his ham! He took a few energy boosting bites before he started to choke on the meat! The Brazo de Plata Prancers looked on in sheer horror. Luckily Striker recovered enough to slap on his After School Special (Rear Naked Choke) that dislodged the ham AND gave Striker the win!

Matt Striker gains overness for saving the life of Brazo de Plata while making him tap out. (37, 65, 51)

But now, finally, is the time on Smackdown when we dance!

And the Plata Prancers prance, reviving the seemingly unconscious Brazo, so effective are their moves that he goes back to his ham and resumes devouring it!

Please recognize these people

Johnny Parisi versus Metrosexual Shane Helms

A match that people should care about, but really didn’t, mainly due to the personalities involved, this could have been Johnny Swinger versus the Hurricane, instead it’s a face Parisi against a heel Helms. Competently worked but without any real sizzle, a plain cheese pizza of a match – enjoyable but immediately forgettable. Still, I suppose it filled a void.

Oh, and Parisi picks up the duke with The Shaft (a running spike DDT.)

(65, 81, 73)

Parisi gains overness because defeating the Artist formerly known as the Hurricane still counts for something. Apparently.

Lethal in Leroux

Lash Leroux versus Jay Lethal for the WWE Cruiserweight title.

Lethal struts to the ring as sports this smirk like he knows something the rest of us don’t. I don’t know what that might be though because before I can even wonder what Lethal knows, he misses his mid-flight pause dropkick, lands hard on the back of his head and walks directly into a Whiplash Smile (Leroux’s updated Whiplash.)

Leroux gestures in a broad Cajun manner while Lethal’s lost that smirk and scowls his way to the back.

Meanwhile, (because our hero has a contract stating he always has to appear, even in guest shots...), I was backstage as I saw Jay head over to me...

Lethal: "Hey, man, what was that about?"

"Hey, I had no control on the match-you know I wouldn't have made that thing a squash..."

Lethal: "I know, but come on...if I wanted to get squashed, I would have signed with TNA. I thought I'd be doing the squashing and not being a job boy..."

"I know, I know- it's not my fault. Dean took the week off, so they gave booking to some Canadian guy they plucked out of a small-time fed somewhere...he just marked for Leroux, what can I say?" ( "Ow...you wound me..." Yeah, yeah... "Just remember, I was the one who had the more classic comedy diary of all our little clique..." Yeah, but I was the first one to do anything with my follow-up, proving I can work more styles... "...You win this round..."

Lethal: "I see. So, you weren't involved with this?"

"Of course not. I would have given you some offense..."

Lethal: "Okay...I'm watching you. Keep me in mind, man..." I saw Jay leave as I finished my contractual appearance...

Kissy Kissy

bWo (Blue Meanie and Big Stevie Cool) with Maria and the Kiss Cam versus Nunzio and Vito

Are Nunzio and Vito still in the FBI? Am I back watching ECW? Will Maria ever realize she needs to open the lens cap of her video camera? Only one of these questions was answered as the bWo continues to be midcard filler and Paul Heyman likely still rues the day he didn’t put Stevie over even more. After all, I hear ‘they’re taking over!’ Which they did in this match after Vito and Nunzio used OMG~! Heel Chicanery to isolate Stevie and actually get the crowd into this match (in a midcard manner.) Nunzio misses the Sicilian Slice and… Hot Tag to Meanie, conveniently missed on the Kiss Cam due to Maria still not figuring out how to open the lens cap. The SmackTron happily shows darkness. Good thing the ref didn’t miss that tag!

Blue Meanie on fire! How many Meanie’s were burned in the Yellow Submarine? Meaniesault misses and Vito takes over, attempting a Mafioso hit with a stiff clothesline (not JBL stiff, but close.) Big Vito with the Mafia kick, but the ref is nowhere to be seen.

Oh, that’s almost clever, Maria’s up on the apron and imploring him how to open the lens on the Kiss Cam. The ref, clearly appreciative of Maria’s bWoobies, helps out enthusiastically. The lens pops open just as Big Stevie Cool pops in and levels the questioning Vito with a Stevie Kick! The Kiss Cam catches the Stevie Kick and the subsequent forearm shot that knocks Nunzio off the apron.

The ref, of course, does not.

Meanie scores the pinfall!

(66, 79, 72)

Still Cool?

MNM versus Too Cool

So many questions, so little time. Why and how are Too Cool employed? Clearly nepotism thrives in the WWE. Good crisp match, with MNM playing the arrogant champs to perfection and Too Cool playing the grizzled veterans. When did that happen? Alas, the outcome was never truly in doubt because even nepotism isn’t enough to earn Brian Lawler a win as he and Scotty Too Hotty lose the match when Matt Cappotelli runs in causing the DQ after Lawler received the Snapshot! Oh no! Not Grandmaster Sexay’s snorting nostrils! Oh the humanity.

Oh, and guess this means MNM’s feud with a Half a Thrillseeker limps on.

I’m riveted with excitement! If only this was building towards something. MNM continue to dominate the tag ranks though, not that the WWE cares about tag wrestling.

Now I’m sad, like a Smackdown without Brazo de Plata.

Still taking over?

JBL versus Hollywood Nova

The entirety of the bWo makes their glorious entrance, but JBL has the ref send them to the back, cleverly using the earlier Kiss Cam footage to show how untrustworthy the bWo are. It takes Meanie and Stevie a long while to explain to Maria why they have to go. She almost looks cute as she pouts, in a cutely plastic way.

Hollywood Nova plays along, rolling some footage of the numerous run-ins by the various iterations of the Cabinet to get them booted from ringside too.

JBL argues vociferously with the ref because “my Cabinet is as clean as George Dubyas!” Instantly hearing this, the ref pointed at the Cabinet and sent them back as JBL looked angry... ("...Liberal..." Hey...that joke just was waiting to happen...) The ref does a double take and makes a quick two count when Hollywood Nova goes for a quick n’ easy roll up. JBL kicks out and continues his argument with the ref, leading to Hollywood getting another two count from an Oklahoma Roll. JBL STILL won’t let the matter drop until he blocks a crucifix attempt with a Samoan Drop.

What if they held a match that despite preconceived notions delivered? That’s what happened here, where the Wrestling God and the Creator of All Things Wrestling tangled in match where the character’s prevailed over workrate. JBL kicked the hell out Nova at the outset until Nova started to Hollywood Up! Using all the moves Simon Dean forgot, Nova nearly won the match with a Kryptonite Krunch, and came even closer with a Hollywood Legdrop O’ Doom. (He invented both, y’know.)

Nova with another Legdrop but JBL rolled away. Fallaway Slam. Clubberin’, they be clubberin’! Both men go for the Big Boot. JBL’s must have more reach as he’s up first, Hollywood Nova Hollywood Up’s again and ducks the first Clothesline from Hades attempt, but the Wrestling God bounces off the ropes and as Nova points at JBL and goes “YOU!” JBL kills him dead with the Clothesline from Hades!

(80, 74, 78) Better than it had any right to be but, JBL jobbed to one member of the bWo, once, and it wasn’t about to happen again.

If you weeel!

Another selection in the WWE Draft and the American Dream Dusty Rhodes takes the stage with his SD Counterpart Teddy Long. In a truly bizarre touch, Rhodes puts on reading spectacles before he looks down at his carefully prepared notes.

“DA ‘MERICAN DWEEM DUTHARODE WULD MUCH RATHER BE BACK AWN RAW. IF YOU WEEL.”

“Hol’ up a minute, playa. Teddy Long knows he’s gots to let a hater like you on the Smackdown. But I’mma ‘bout to begin Thuggin’ n’ Buggin’ on yo ass if you dis my show any more. B’lee dat!”

“MAH ‘POLOGEEETH MITHA LONG. I OWN-LEES MEENT, I’D WATHER BEE AWWWN THE BEST ‘RASSLIN’ N’ ENT’RTAAAINMEEENT SHOW AWN TV. IF YOU WEEEL!”

“Oh no you did’n’t. Befo’ you make yo pick, you best hol’ up n’ listen up coz I need ta holla at ya hata! Mr. McMahon demands I let yo pasty, blotchy ass come onto my show and make a pick, but you betta damn well not be hatin’ on my boys in tha back, or I’m gonna have to call in my posse of peeps to teach yo’ honkey southern ass a lesson. B’lee dat!”

“MITHA LONG. TEEDY. ‘MERICAN DWEEM DUTHY RHOTHES NEVER MEEENT NO HARM, NUN AT AWL! BEFORE I PICK THA NEWETH SUPERTHAR FOR RAW, RECALL, IF YOU WEEL WHEN YOU WERE A REF CALLED PEANUT HEAD? GOOD TIMETH, GOOD TIMETH.”

“Was that ‘bout tha time you were a polka-dotted plumber? Holla, if ya hear me playas!”

And before this thing spirals out of control, No Chance in Hell fires up and both men look around nervously for the Chairman of the Board. He doesn’t appear but such is the power of McMahonism that even his selected choral arrangement brings his followers back into the fold. Rhodes and Long share a sheepish glance and Dusty pulls a ball out of the hopper with a Smackdown superstar written upon it.

Then in either a brilliant touch of comedy or a statement on Dusty Rhodes’ declining eyesight, he puts on half-spectacles before reading out the name upon the ball.

“ ‘MERICAN DWEEM DUTHY RHOTHES ITH PLEATHED TO THELECT TO THE RAW ROTHER, IF YOU WEEL, THE THEXY FRENCH MAID DIVA, SYLVIE-ANN!”

Teddy bursts out laughing. “Lemme know how this diva works out for ya playa.”

Overall: 68% And Sylvan gains no overness, but he might have a new look when he debuts on Raw. (MEANIE! Now I'm going to have to use that gimmick, and I already booked solid...*pouts*)

For whom the bell tolls…

Undertaker versus Booker T with Sharmell

Booker enters first to his typical pyro but then the lights go out and the druids start to chant and carry torches down to ringside. A deep gong reverberates through the arena and even the most casual of fan perks up because something special must be happening if the Undertaker gets a full PPV style entrance. Out comes the Chief Druid carrying the urn of the Undertaker and now ‘taker finally emerges from the back in his high-collared cloak and old-school black fedora.

Booker T and Sharmell beg off and hide by Cole and Tazz as Undertaker makes his stately ring entrance. He lifts his arms, pauses and drops them and the ringposts spit fire (ala his brother Kane) in spectral blue flame.

Lights are up, and so is Booker T.

From the outset it becomes clear this will be a longer affair than a typical Smackdown match and Booker brought his bumping boots for Undertaker, making taker look better than he has in years. First pop of the match comes when taker gains control of the match and does the Old School Rope-walk for the first two-count of the match.

Taker followed up by attempting the Tombstone which Booker wriggled out of and scurried from the ring.

I’m not sure what code Tazz uses for what JR calls “methodical” matches, but this was “Anti-Rocketbustahs!” It was old school in every sense, from the combined age of the performers to the slow pace they set to make this match stretch to fill in the time required.

Headlocks and neck vices killed the work rate in the match, but with the druids and the urn and Sharmell combined with the connection to the audience of Undertaker and the good heelwork by Booker meant the crowd rarely lost interest, even if the workrate vanished for stretches of this match.

Back and forth match, with Booker getting an extending run of offence, he clipped taker with the Axe Kick and looked appalled that only got him a two count. Another nice attempted spot, but telling in it shows Undertaker’s advancing years when Booker went for a second Axe Kick which taker attempted to counter directly into a Last Ride, which would have looked killer, instead taker couldn’t pull the move off and instead it looked more like Undertaker pushed Booker off him from his knees, which T had to sell like death. Sharmell pulled Booker from the ring so both men could compose themselves.

Booker comes back into it on fire, feeling the heel heat or perhaps pissed at the earlier spot. He nails ‘taker with another Axe Kick, Spinaroonis up and pins the Phenom.

1… 2… 3—kick out! Booker can’t believe it!

Undertaker with his signature uppercut which sends Booker reeling, clothesline, Big Boot, corner clothesline, drags him out in the goozle!

CHOKESLAM! Dead center of the ring.

No ref! Sharmell earns her man some respite by being forcibly kept from entering the ring and the way she wields a stiletto heel that is one brave ref! Undertaker grabs the ref and makes the ‘throat-slit’ gesture at Sharmell.

Sharmell looks justifiably terrified. Taker grabs her on the ring apron while the ref pleads with the Dead Man to let the diva go.

Undertaker appears to be willing to do nothing of the sort, but a low blow from the recovering Booker works to break up that potential situation. After two Axe Kicks, Booker looks into his past for an alternative finisher.

BOOK END! But the Phenom breaks the count by getting a foot on the bottom rope. Sharmell pushes it away, but the ref catches her doing it and admonishes her at ringside.

“But Baby, it was an accident! Honest. You can trust me; I’m a former Miss Black America.”

Ref drags his attention away from her as Undertaker and Booker start slugging it out, Booker’s punches are blocked, the Dead Man with another goozle, but Booker blocks it and goes for another Book End, Taker elbows his way out of that, Taker into the ropes, T ducks the clothesline attempt and then goes for a back body drop but the Phenom counters THAT with his running DDT which sends Booker into the ropes.

Both men tired and woozy, Undertaker goes for the pin but this time Sharmell drags Booker’s foot up onto the rope, forcing the break.

Undertaker goes for his finisher of last resort, the Tombstone but Booker grabs the top ropes while upside down to block it, Taker dumps Booker on the apron, bounces across the ring and goes for a killer Big Boot, but Booker moves and the Dead Man crotches himself on the top rope. Now Booker nails the Undertaker with a Harlem Sidekick, Taker tumbles into the ring.

Booker could go for the pin, but clearly he feels he needs something extra to keep the Dead Man down, up to the top rope and…

Harlem Hangover!

One…

Two…

Two and a half…

THREE!

Booker T wins! And scampers to the back with Sharmell before the Undertaker comes around. (86, 61, 78)

Booker T gains no overness because he’s Booker T and that’s a ceiling above him

Undertaker loses no overness because he’s the Undertaker, but he gains no overness because clearly he relies too heavily upon being the Dead Man

Rest in Pieces

Undertaker climbs to his feet and calls for a microphone.

“Boooooooker T. Well done. On this night you showed me something I haven’t seen in eons. You proved you deserve to be the top dog in my yard. After many years and countless battles, delivering my soupbones to all those who wanted to become famous, who wanted to make a name for themselves at my expense; I feel it’s time I head out for that last ride into the sunset.

Big Evil may be about to leave the land of the living, but should I never need come back, I shall return to wreak my heavenly hellish vengeance upon those unworthy souls who dare mock my legacy.

Until then, it is time for me to Rest. In. Peeeeeeeeeeeeeace.”

And the Undertaker rolls back his eyes, sticks out his tongue, lifts his hands to the heavens and we’re all rewarded with some of the WWE’s Goofy Spooky as ‘lightening bolts’ strike the turnbuckles.

Undertaker makes his slow walk from the ring, the last in a long line of exits – many more of those walks in victory than in defeat. On this night, as he reaches to top of the ramp his Chief Druid stands before him, offering him his cherished urn.

The Undertaker reaches out for his beloved memento and (for a long while) the source of his otherworldly power.

The Chief Druid steps back.

The Undertaker pauses and glares hard at the cowled supplicant. He steps forward once more reaching for the urn.

The Druid draws back the urn, pauses and then…

BLASTS Taker in the skull!

Taker drops like a corpse. He struggles onto all fours…

And his Head Chief again brains him with the urn!

Undertaker again struggles to regain his footing but the Chief Druid throws back his cowl to reveal CM Punk! Punk immediately locks on an Anaconda Vice and chokes out the Dead Man. Punk keeps the hold on for a long time until he’s satisfied the Phenom’s out cold.

“Undertaker, you just got your ass Punk’d!

You’re too old, too broken down, too past your prime and too dead to hang with the Shining Light of the WWE. I’m the person that these idiotic fans SHOULD be aspiring to. Instead the cheer for an aging undead gimmick, a self-proclaimed American Bad Ass. What sort of role model is that? So I took exception to them cheering you from the building and gave you a far more memorable send off. Finally you’ve done something worthwhile with your career, by being a stepping stone for me!

I perform like I live my life, Straight Edge and Straight Ahead.

You go out on your back and expect them to cheer and fawn all over you, well I came up from the gutter. I fought for everything I ever had in this business. I’ve more than paid my dues and still I found no respect. I get left off PPVs to main event Heat while you plod through another typical match. You have it all handed to you on a silver platter, while I’m fighting for scraps of your cast off TV time.

So this is my present to you, this is my send off. I dress up like one of your blasphemous Ministry Acolytes and reward you the way you’ve rewarded so many in your ‘glorious’ career.

Now do us ALL a favor and Stay Dead!”

Punk poses atop the ramp, his back to the lifeless form of the Undertaker as he soaks in the jeers and boos of the crowd. Just before Smackdown goes to commercial…

Zombie Sit-up!

(Overall 78) And when was the last time a wrestler actually remained retired? Most at least let the segment end before returning… not so the Dead Man.

Odd Couplings

Batista and Rey Mysterio versus Chris Jericho and Randy Orton

Before the ref can ring the bell, Mysterio whispers with Batista and Batista suddenly launches his partner at the heels like a javelin. Rey-Rey crossbodies them down and they land in a heap. Kicks and punches making his look like an intense kindergarten brawl. Batista’s near lethal clothesline on Jericho tips the scales towards the faces and after a few double team moves the ref rings the bell and Mysterio squares off against Orton. And it’s nothing but high flying Mysterio goodness from the outset as he blitzes Young Randall with move upon move. Thing go unabated when Rey tags in the Batista, the only real change being that instead of high flying fun, Orton feels the onslaught of the Angry Animal. A fun twist on the standard Face-in-Peril and it maximizes what people like most about Orton, watching him getting his ass handed to him.

Thumb poke and Orton runs like a scalded dog to tag in Jericho, who warily accepts the tag and doesn’t look the least bit impressed that Orton riled up and then ran from the Animal. Batista launches into Jericho with savagery and the Canadian Icon takes a beating until he reverses and Irish Whip and Orton drives a knee into the small of Batista’s back. Jericho snapmares Batista over and kicks his spine and then stomps on his back too. Backbody drop by Jericho leads to the Arrogant Cover~!

Batista kicks out at one, so by two Jericho has tagged out. Batista tags out too.

Orton uses heel tactics to counter any advantage Mysterio gains, which combined with the fact that Jericho keeps taunting Rey, “Rey-Rey, bay-bay *clap clap clapclapclap*” meant that the heels eventually overwhelmed the diminutive superstar. Orton thrilled the crowd with one of his epic chinlocks, but things picked up once he tagged in Jericho.

Jericho went to town on Rey, unleashing scorn and fury not seen from Chris in ages. He looks a bit rusty but makes up for it with his histrionics. Wisely keeping things simple, Jericho tosses and batters Rey, even pulling the butterfly backbreaker out of mothballs. Crowd starts to rally behind Rey and it amps up when Chris hoists Mysterio up for a pendulum backbreaker and holds him across his knee as he flexes and mocks Batista. Even going so far as to kiss his bicep and flex at the Animal on the apron. Batista shakes the ring ropes in frustration and promises revenge upon Jericho.

Jericho nails Rey with a clothesline and then a jumping back elbow off the middle ropes right in front of Batista. Batista attempts to enter the ring only to be restrained by the referee, which allows Orton to sneak in and blatantly boot Rey in the nuts. Batista’s so incensed he misses Jericho jumping to the turnbuckle and catching the Animal with his springboard dropkick.

Batista tumbles to the floor and Rey just slips a shoulder on the pin.

Jericho goes for glory and the Lionsault but Rey’s quick enough to roll from that, but Jericho spots that and lands feet first after aborting the Lionsault attempt only for Rey to springboard backwards off the ropes and take Jericho down with a satellite headscissors.

Rey lunges to make the tag but Batista hasn’t returned! Jericho, then Orton, crushes Mysterio in the corner. Double suplex but the ref won’t count until Jericho leaves (he tagged in Orton during Rey’s lunge.)

Mysterio again kicks out! And again! Orton grows frustrated but hits his High dropkick, then goes for another but Rey sprints under it and bounces off the ropes and as Randall gets to his feet he finds himself caught in a rana!

Jericho rushes in to stop Rey from tagging, but when he yanks Rey back, Rey twists it into his bodyscissors to bulldog move! Finally a tag to Batista. Batista and the crowd erupt.

Batista is an animal on fire! Running through the heels with clotheslines and forearms, turnbuckle whips and slams. Batista obliterates both men and sets up for the Batista Bomb on Orton, but his thumbs up gesture to the crowd proves costly as Jericho staggers him with a running enziguri.

Heels back in control, but not for long as Batista quickly rallies and shrugs off their efforts. Orton with a back rake that only serves to enrage the Animal. He simply charges Orton and essentially steamrolls him over. Jericho begs off and this would appear to be the end.

Batista Bomb on Orton!

Where’s the ref? This is one lucky ref as Melina chose this time to tantalize and titillate the referee. First Maria, now Melina. Who’s this ref bribing?

A bellow from Batista draws back the ref’s attention but the distraction proved effective as Orton kicks out. Batista tags in Rey who ‘drops the dime’ on Orton and clearly this time it will be the end, except Jericho breaks it up and pie-faces Rey. Rey ignores Orton and pummels Jericho as Chris does his best to protect his Rock Star face! The ref goes to drag him off Jericho who screams about wanting to be back on the apron and therefore misses Melina’s broad gesture to the back.

Out sprints Mercury and Nitro who run around the ring and pull Batista from the apron, smacking his face on it on the way down in a painful looking bump. They scare off Tazz and Cole and hit the Snapshot on Batista THROUGH the announce table. Ending the Animal’s night!

In the ring, Orton goes for an RKO on the crazed Rey, but he shoves Orton off and knocks him down with a dropkick. Jericho pulls the mask of Rey to swing the advantage their way while police force Mercury from the ringside area for being ‘officially Raw property.’ Rey gets some sweet revenge upon Jericho when he drags him in, but as Tazz says “Thing are breaking down in Tulsa” in the ring as Rey faces off against both heels and manages to hold his own until Melina trips him up.

Still he rallies back and has both Orton AND Jericho set up for 619s on either side of the ring, Orton takes it full blast, but Nitro blocks the attempt on Jericho. Jericho recovers to goes to drag Mysterio into the ring but Rey shoulder blocks him and then forearms him to all fours.

Another drop of the dime? Not this time as when Rey springs off the top rope, Orton uses Jericho’s back as a footstool to catch the flying Mysterio with an RKOuttanowhere!

Jericho rolls to his feet and hits the Lionsault for the heels to claim victory on this night!

Overall (92, 82, 88)

Orton tosses Mysterio from the ring and then leaves himself while Jericho is joined by Melina, Nitro and the returning Mercury.

“Finally the Jericho has come back………………. to reinvent the industry and resurrect a once proud company. The Saviour of Smackdown triumphantly makes his return to save the WWE from itself. To save it from the dross and drivel permeating this federation. While I sat at home, lounging in my palatial abode after another successful world tour I started to watch Raw and Smackdown, and it didn’t matter if it was a Peanuthead or a Midnight Rider running things, both shows served up more tripe than the state of Montana produces in a decade and I knew I had to do something! I contemplated penning a scathing ditty for the next Fozzy album, but that wouldn’t reverberate the way I wanted it to.

That’s when I got the call. Not from Long, Rhodes or even McMahon, but a singular beauty with singular vision, a rose amongst the muck festering here, the lusciously luminary Melina who offered me the opportunity and the insight I required to once more save the E from the E!

So take a good hard look at the men and woman in this ring with me, for we represent the present and the future of sports entertainment, and if you don’t like it… too bad junior… because like us or hate you know you need us!

Don’t hate us because we’re beautiful, we’ll give you much better reasons that that!"

Over: 73

***

( Well, I promised something big for the end of this one, so I'll break the news right here for it...

wOwrriors brace yourselves: wOw Memorial is getting ready for Stage Three.

I'm now currently searching for the fans of my work to serve as beta readers as I attempt over the summer to turn wOw Memorial into a novel series. If you're interested, please PM me with your e-mail address so that we can handle this normally.

Serve your Diary Idol and help him continue to become a top-tier writer (or at least good enough to get published...)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

After the actions of the last week or so- getting forced to deal with a Pay-Per-View, problems on a plane, and dealing with Beeker's writing ("HEY!"), I felt I deserved a week off. Luckily, the way of my job is such that I can pretty much take weeks off whenever I want- I LOVE talent relations, it's so easy to say "Oh, sorry, boss- I'm scouting new talent- can't come in, you see...". It made things much easier in the long run. However, I knew this wasn't to last- the latest WWE Supershow was coming up, and Mr.McMahon wanted all the WWE writers at the show. I figured it wasn't too bad- showing up at every TNA show when I didn't live in Florida would just be creepy. When I go there, though, I was shocked to be called over by Mr.Ace...

Ace:"Hey, I have a question...you were the one who had us decide to call up the Thrillseekers, right?"

"Well, yes...why?"

Ace: "We'll need your help..." I headed back to the dressing room to find a road agent holding up a baggie of white powder in front of Johnny Jeter...

Road agent: "So...this is how you've been recuperating, huh? You go off the road, and all of a sudden you're using coke..."

Jeter: "I...I can't help it, man...it's the injury. I needed some way to get the thrill back- I missed the rush when I was injured, and...and..."

Road agent: "Rush nothing, punk. The Wellness Program's in full effect here, and you've just been lucky- you get to be the first victim of the plan to go through. Consider this your last night in WWE..."

Jeter: "Oh, really? Well, if I'm fired either way- I'm just getting out of here. I'm sure those boys in Orlando or Dallas will be happy to get someone who was in line to hold a title..."

Ace: "You see the problem? He's got to be fired for this, but if he leaves tonight, we lose one of the matches we've been billing for weeks. We can't rework the storylines..." Just then, I thought of the stuff and then turned back to Mr.Ace...

"Don't worry. I have a plan. Let me talk to him..." Mr.Ace called off the road agent as I headed over to Jeter.

"Hey, man...these guys are being total jerks."

Jeter: "Yeah- they want to fire me...what's the problem."

"Look, man- you know I'm looking out for you, so you have to know- you've got to be fired for this one. The Wellness program needs to have this first defeat- otherwise, everyone will be back on drugs again. However, I think that if you work the show tonight and do what you're supposed to do, you'll have a better chance of being brought back later on than if you just ditch out."

Jeter: "...you sure?"

"Oh, yeah, man- Vince always brings back people later on in their careers, and you're one of the hottest prospects in the game today..."

Jeter: "Yeah...but come on. What's the point in doing my job if I'll just be fired no matter what?" I motioned to Johnny to walk with me before I started talking again...

"Well...you work the show, I'll have one of the interns go score you some more coke..." Oh yeah- I'm a sleaze...

Jeter: "...You got yourself a deal..." I headed over to Mr.Ace and reported the findings...

"Okay. I got Jeter to work tonight's show. In addition, I think I have an idea to cover this up- get everybody in the booking room so I can pass it over..." I whispered it into Ace's ear as he smiled...

Ace: "I think it's the best idea we can work with for this- I'll get it to the people in the match..."

WWE Raw/Smackdown Supershow Results:

Raw half:

As the show started, Vince McMahon's music hit as he headed out to the ring.

McMahon: "Ladies and gentlemen, as we know, the draft has been going well...(SUPER-DEFORMED JENNIFER MOMENT...In case you people missed it when the protagonist was busy spending sweet love-love time with me...natural, because after all, I am much cuter than that other co-worker girl meanyhead...well, anyway, we watched the shows last week, and apparently, Smackdown drafted The Coach from Raw...gee, what a GREAT choice...while Raw drafted Paul London from Smackdown. Now that we're all up to speed...continue, Mr.McMahon...), and there have been some great moves. However, I have just received word over the weekend that we are going to get to see one of the newest forms of this year's draft. Because of that, I would like to call out Theodore Long to the ring..." Just then, Long's music hit as Theodore Long came out to the ring and met with McMahon.

McMahon: "Now, Mr.Long- you did tell me you would like to make your one non-lottery pick tonight, is that right?"

Long: "Oh, you better b'lee dat, playa...we don't wanna have to deal with some pick like getting The Coach from Raw this week..."

McMahon: "Now, you do remember that by doing this, you are forfeiting three supplemental draft choices to Raw. Two will be made by Dusty tonight, and two will be made on Smackdown this week."

Long: "Fine by me, playa. With this one, it'll be worth it..."

McMahon: "Okay, then. Who do you choose as your non-lottery pick?"

Long: "Okay playa. Friday Night Smackdown, in association with the leader of that Playa's Club, Theodore Long, is happy to announce that the next playa who's gonna be Thuggin' and Buggin' on Smackdown will be...SHAWN MICHAELS!" Just then, Michaels's music hit as he headed into the ring, glared at McMahon a bit, then finally shook hands with Long as the show went to break...

(81)

Nick Nemeth v. Paul Burchill

Well, apparently this is the best way to get a person as inconsequential as Nick Nemeth over- put him up against really good workers. The fans aren't totally buying it, though, since the chants of "YOU'RE A CADDY!" were very loud during the match (apparently forgetting his opponent was a pirate...) However, Burchill was able to put on a decent carry job for Nemeth, making him look almost tolerable in the ring. However, the ending occurred to make Burchill look weak, as Sakoda and Akio ran in and attacked him, allowing Nemeth to get an Axe Bomber for the victory. After the match, Kyo Dai kept attacking Nemeth, until Jean-Pierre LaFitte headed in, beat Sakoda out of the ring, then hit "Da PEACE-LINER!" on Akio before helping up Burchill...

(40, 75, 57)

After the match, Robbie Dawber was backstage with Chris Masters...

Dawber: "...Hi, I'm Robbie Dawber..." Chris Masters then proceeded to slap Dawber, then lock on the Masterlock before speaking...

Masters: "Uhguhduhguh! UhguhduhguhChavuhguhduhguhGuruhduhguhguhmuhmuhInuhcunuhnuhnuhTuhguh. WhuguhduhguthuguhuhwhuguhduhguhyuhguhfuhguhwuhuhMASTERLOCK!" Dawber finally went limp as Masters broke the hold before walking off...

(60)

Robbie Dawber gained 2 points overness...*slaps in face*

(Meanwhile, on WWE Unlimited...)

Chaz and Glen Ruth were backstage hanging out...

Chaz: "Man, it's great to finally both be back here in the WWE, man..."

Ruth: "Yeah. I mean, we're back here, we finally get the World title shot we've deserved for years..."

Chaz: "Um...I thought we weren't going to speak of that..."

Ruth: "Come on, Chaz- we've finally made it: Two kids from Jersey, trying to have some fun, finally allowed to be ourselves...this is great..." Just then, the two were approached by two barely known people (one recognizable as former WWF/WCW/ECW jobber Wolfie D, the other as Midwest indy standout Shirley Doe)...

Doe: "Hey, guys- great to meet you two..."

Chaz: "Always nice to meet some fans- what's going on?"

Doe: "Well, me and my friend Slash here, we came into pro wrestling because of you guys, man. You're our idols! You showed us you can wrestle and still rock harder than any one of those people!"

Ruth: "Thanks, man..."

Doe: "So, anyway, we had been watching and saw how you two have become yourselves, and we just had to ask- would it be all right if we could have the Headbangers' gimmick for ourselves? We think that'll be an awesome way to get our names out there..."

Chaz: "Hmmm- I don't know. I mean, the Headbangers gimmick did get our feet in the door...I've got it. If you're truly worthy of being Headbangers- you'll be able to beat us in the ring. What do you say...meet us out there. You win, the gimmick's yours, no problem..."

Doe: "Awesome!" Doe and Slash began hitting some air guitar as the Unlimited segment ended...

(50)

(Headbangers Gimmick Match) Shirley Doe and Slash v. Chaz and Glen Ruth

Well, this was actually a decent matchup for itself.The two teams actually managed to put on a decent enough matchup for the fans- which did help, since the fans didn't really care about Chaz and Ruth, and the others were barely known workers. However, the teams managed to produce a good enough match to make the fans care somewhat, which can never be a real problem...right? However, Doe and Slash managed to quickly take the advantage due to being the new guys, finishing with two hitting a stereo Stage Dive on their opponents, then covering them at the same time for the win. After the match, Lillian Garcia went to announce the winners, only with the two taking the mic...

Doe: "Sorry, miss, but as per the rules of this match- THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH: SHIRLEY, SLASH, AND WE ARE- THE NEW HEADBANGERS!"

(49, 80, 64)

After the break, the women of WWE Raw (Victoria, Lita, Mickie James, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, Madusa, Molly Holly, Joy Giovanni) to some applause or heat, followed by the debuting Simply Luscious...to absolutely no heat. Before the battle royal began, Dusty Rhodes came out to the top of the ramp and took the mic...

Rhodes: "LADIETH, LADIETH, LADIETH- DO NOT THTART DA BEATDOWN JUST YET! YEW SEE, THE 'MERICAN DWEEM, DUTHARODE, WOULD LIKE TO OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE THE FIRTHT OF MAH FOUR PICKTH THITH WEEK, RIGHT HERE!" Just then, Jillian Hall's music hit as she headed down to the ring and entered the battle royal...

10-Man Battle Royal for the WWE Women's Title:

Pretty much a clusterfuck to start. Lita went after Victoria to begin the match, soon throwing her over to a chorus of boos and "YOU SCREWED MATT!" chants. Simply Luscious watched this and cheered at not being the first eliminated- only to have Hall throw her over afterwards. Mickie James and Stacy Keibler started fighting as James went for a Mick Kick- only to have Keibler duck out of the way and watch James get hung up on the ropes before pushing her over. Meanwhile, Trish Stratus headed off to attack Madusa, leading to one of the few examples of decent wrestling in the match. However, Madusa was all...old...and...not Trish Stratus, leading her to get dumped out unceremoniously. Stacy Keibler headed over to seemingly congratulate Trish- then use the typical JEZEBEL form and hit a Slap on her. However, a slap does nothing against the undisputed ace of the women's division, as Stacy got dumped over without much fuss. Meanwhile, Joy Giovanni made the attempt to go after Molly Holly. This will go down in her history as "Mistake number 1", as Molly easily got rid of her. While celebrating, Molly was easy pickings for Jillian Hall. Hall was then a GENERIC EYE CANDY WITH A WEIRD GROWTH ON HER FACE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT STILL BE THERE AFIRE, as she then managed to eliminate Lita. When she was up against Trish at the final, Trish allowed her some decent offense- but then it was Chick Kick, wham, thrown over.

Winner: Trish Stratus

(65, 34, 55)

Homicide v. Roderick Strong

Well, this was a great matchup. The only weakness between this match was the result that the ones who really cheered were the weird creepy indy fans who don't know what wrestling's really like because they never wrestled a match because of course if they did they would realize that The Great Khali and Chris Masters were the greatest workers in the universe so ha ha...but I digress. The two actually managed to put on probably the MOTN, which is always a good thing for it. The Havana Pitbulls tried to run in and interfere on Homicide's behalf, but the referee caught it and sent them back- however, while the referee did that, Apolo rushed out of the stands and attacked Roderick Strong. Homicide then hit the Cop Killa on Strong, allowing him to get the victory. After the match, Homicide and Apolo celebrated in the ring...

(59, 100, 79)

After the break, William Regal was getting prepared for his match when he was visited by an old friend...

Eugene: "Mister Regal, Mister Regal! I missed you so much, Mister Regal- now we're able to play again!"

Regal: "Excuse me, young Eugene- I have a match for the Intercontinental Title..."

Eugene: "That's so super cool, Mister Regal! I'll come out and help you with him- I think that Chavo guy...he's got his father, and he's got a belt and stuff- you'll need some help!" Regal looked annoyed, then smiled...

Regal: "Sure thing- I could use some help..." Eugene clapped his hands and left the dressing room as Regal shook his head...

Regal: "Why'd I ever pal around with that bloody retard?"

Chavo Guerrero v. William Regal

This was almost a weakness of the gimmicks that made the match seem less awesome than it could have been. On the surface, the match seemed like it could be great- Regal and Chavo are great workers. Only problem- the match led it to become Eugene doing funny things on the outside while Chavo Classic whupped Regal's ass with a belt. Chavo began to attack Regal himself, but Eugene tried to interfere (with no success). Regal then proceeded to take the advantage- only leading to Classic entering the ring and whupping Regal's ass with a belt. Eugene came in to help Regal- only Chavo smiled and gave Eugene the Intercontinental Title. Eugene jumped for joy and kept carrying the IC title around the ring while Classic kept up the assault. Finally, Chavo hit the Three Amigos and Frog Splash on Regal, getting the win.

(78, 84, 81)

Chavo Guerrero gains 1 point of overness by the "EDDIE!" chants

After the match, Dusty Rhodes was backstage with Vince McMahon and Theodore Long...

McMahon: "Okay, Mister Rhodes- this is the first of your three supplemental picks for the earlier choice of Shawn Michaels...please choose..." Rhodes pulled a ball out from the lottery cage, read it to himself and smiled...

Rhodes: "MITHTA MAC-MAN, THITH ITH EATHILY A GREAT PICK FOR THE PEOPLE OF MONDAY NIGHT RAW! THITH'LL BE A HUGE THING FOR ALL OF UTH HERE TONIGHT!"

Long: "Now, hold off, playa- you think whoever you got and the other two picks will equal this? I got Shawn Michaels from you. The Heartbreak Kid. A bonafide WWE legend. Who do you think could equal this?"

Rhodes looked at the lottery pick...

Rhodes: "A THOON-TO-BE WWE LEGEND IN THE MAKING, THE FIRST SUPPLEMENTAL PICK FOR MICHAELS...JAMES GIBSON!" The crowd gave a huge pop for that one as Long looked shocked...

(70)

Triple H v. John Cena

Well, at least the WWE's putting more emphasis on the title by saving a Wrestlemania rematch for the second-to-last match on the Raw half of the show...in addition, this match was actually really good. The two put on a decent match for the whole of it, leading the fans to get into the show more often. The only thing that seemed out of place was the ending. You've built up John Cena as unstoppable- so why make Cena lose clean to Triple H now? I mean, I know he's not holding the title, but come on- this wasn't a good move to keep Cena looking great. Eh- it was still a good match, so who cares?

(93, 85, 90)

Kane v. Rob Van Dam

Well, this match was a bit of a letdown against the Triple H/Cena match. To be fair, though, it did its goal- putting over the title as the most important thing on the show. The two proceeded to put on a decent enough show, but the whole of it was pretty straightforward on it. Kane proceeded to beat down RVD viciously, putting on the nice attacks that he had become known for. Eventually, RVD fought back, but this was quickly ended by Big Show coming in and attacking him. Kane then hit a Chokeslam on RVD, leading him to retain the title. Kane and Big Show then posed as the show ended- until John Cena ran in and attacked Kane to end the Raw portion of the Supershow...

(86, 80, 84)

Over: 71

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Smackdown

Meanwhile, as the show was starting out there, I managed to see Sophie watching the show with someone backstage. I headed over to her as she proceeded to greet me with a handshake (as I got slightly disappointed...)

Sophie: "So, what's been going on? Haven't seen you around in a couple weeks..."

"Yeah- I figured it was best to have a vacation...so, who's this guy?"

Sophie: "Oh- WWE told Paul they wanted to promote Jody Fleisch to the big roster, so I brought him with me..."

"Hey, wait...didn't he wrestle in the Battle royal two weeks ago..."

Sophie: "Um...no. No he didn't. That was...some other Jody Fleisch..."

"No, seriously, I SWEAR I saw him there..."

Sophie: "Nope- wasn't him..."

"But...I swear it was..." Just then, Sophie took out a Reflecto-signal...

Sophie: "ACCIDENTAL REFLECTO BOOKING BOTCH-JOB EVA...ATTACK!" Just then, I saw an EVA head over to the scene and crush me like a bug...

(BAD END...)

Play again as:

World Wrestling Entertainment

Total Nonstop Action

World Class Championship Wrestling

Extreme Championship Wrestling

Call the Great Will of the Macrocosm to fix this mess...<----

"...what just happened?"

Sophie: "Reflecto at work...so, want to go get a coffee?"

"Sure..." Just then, I saw Mr.Ace head over to both of us...

Ace: "Ah, so there are the two young lions of our company...listen, I need to talk to you both, like, immediately..."

Sophie: "I see...I'll be right there, Johnny!" I saw Sophie head over to the boss as I tried to talk...

"Um, Mr.Ace...I do kind of like to watch the show whenever I'm here..."

Ace: "Don't worry- it's pretty straightforward stuff for this match- LeRoux beats that lucha guy you two signed to keep the title. Now, come on...scoot!" I headed over with the two...

Lash Leroux d. Abismo Negro to retain WWE Cruiserweight Title (61, 88, 74)

When we headed into the staff room, we were finally approached by Vince McMahon. I saw Mr.Ace head over to him as we were a little taken aback...

Ace: "These are the two candidates, Vince..." Vince smiled.

Vince: "Perfect. Now, could you two sit over there, please...?" Vince pointed to two chairs near a desk as the two of us sat down. "Now, do you two know why I called you here?"

"Um...no sir..."

Vince: "Well, I checked the files. Apparently, both of you have just finished the traditional WWE 90-day preliminary period, and I just wanted to say that we're officially picking both of you up as full-time members of the WWE family. I mean- with your track records, it's a necessity- I mean, you...can I call you 'Raven Guy', kid?"

"Why, of course, sir..."

"Yes...you have been a goldmine for us- we're crushing TNA and WCCW...hell, Bischoff can't even merit a TV show and TNA's booking's become a joke. And Sophie here...Paul's been telling us that she's a huge asset to ECW's booking..."

Sophie: "Thank you, Mr.McMahon, sir..."

Vince: "This is why I had to tell both of you- we are ready to try and give one of the two of you a bit more responsibility..."

"Um...sir, that may be a bad idea considering my job..."

Vince: "Trust me, kid...if you get this one, you won't mind being outed in TNA. I'm going to give the two of you some inside information...last week, I got off the phone with our people at USA Network. They've agreed to put Ohio Valley Wrestling TV on Sunday mornings starting next month. We're currently finalizing the roster that will be on the show next month, and we want one of you two to be the head booker for the promotion. We honestly believe the two of you are the future behind the scenes here at the WWE, and we want to give one of you the chance to show if you can handle the ball on a major scale. I'm going to see what the two of you do during the next month to see who'll get this position, so make sure to wow us!" I was excited- sure, I loved being the double agent for WWE, but if I do this, I would be the head booker for a whole promotion. Sophie did speak up as I kept thinking these things through, breaking me from that...

Sophie: "Um, Mr.McMahon...just out of curiosity...I know that a lot of times, companies do things like this to determine who they'll keep and who to fire...is that the way this is?" Vince looked at her afterwards and said...

Vince: "Are you crazy? I fire either of you two, TNA or WCCW will have the person who'll help crush us. I'm not letting either of you walk away- both your jobs are completely secure..." Me and Sophie, excited by that, proceeded to high-five as we headed away towards the rest of the show...

(Meanwhile, while they were out...)

Claudio Castagnoli d. Jim Duggan by Tracy Smothers/Doug Basham interference (58, 64, 61)

Jim Duggan loses 1 point overness because he's old and no one likes him anymore

Claudio Castagnoli gains 2 points overness for looking better

Ken Kennedy v. Booker T

This was a decent enough match, but it seemed like it was missing something. Sharmell didn't seem like she was as on as she usually was for this match, and Booker was just going through the motions in the ring. Kennedy tried to hold his own, but the match didn't seem like it had that it factor as a result. The ending seemed normal- Booker T went for an Axe Kick, but Low-Ki ran in and hit a stiff kick on Booker T to stop that, allowing Kennedy to get the win. After the match, Booker T and Sharmell proceeded to walk back to the dressing room seemingly no-selling it as Kennedy held up his title...

(60, 71, 65)

Booker T loses 1 point overness due to out with the old, in with the new

Ken Kennedy...KENNEDY! gains 2 points overness...OVERNESS!

After the match, Kennedy and Low-Ki celebrated in the ring, until Dusty Rhodes came down to the ring and took the mic...

Rhodes: "THANKEEW, THANKEEW! NOW, YOU TWO IN THERE WEALLY MAKETH DA 'MERICAN DWEEM, DUTHARODE, UNHAPPY THERE- YOU CHEATIN' TO BEAT THAT BOOKER T, IF YOU WEEL...WELL, THAT ISN'T HAPPENING AGAIN...BECAUSE THE NEXT DRAFT PICK IS..."

Kennedy: "Wait just a second...as dictated by the rules of the draft- a person allowed to stay on Smackdown and absolved from the draft is...MISTER...KENNEDY!..."

Rhodes: "...If MITHTA...KENNEDY! WOULD LET ME FINITH...THE NEXT DRAFT PICK IS...LOW-KI!" Low-Ki looked shocked as he proceeded to leave the ring as the champ was shocked...

"...Kennedy...?"

(78)

Backstage, Maria was standing by with CM Punk...

"Hi, everybody! It's me, the nWo babe, Maria, and I'm standing by here with CM Punk...so, Mr...Punk...I saw how The Undertaker beat you bad last week on Smackdown...how are you feeling tonight?"

"How am I feeling? I got my ass kicked by The Undertaker from pillar to post last week. And you know how I feel about that? I feel ABSOLUTELY GREAT. Because, no matter what The Undertaker did to me last week, it didn't change the most important fact: I'm STILL HERE, and The Undertaker is not. That's right, people- The Undertaker's 16 years of destruction ENDED the moment he destroyed me last week. He's not in the building tonight, and he's not going to be in the building ever again. Because while I may have had the life beaten half out of me last week, The Undertaker has officially ended his career. The Dead Man's WWE career is DEAD, and CM Punk is still here. Tonight, I'm going to show the skill that The Undertaker had to die to beat down tonight, and prove that much like being Straight Edge...being ALIVE and STILL wrestling means I'm BETTER THAN YOU." Punk headed off to the ring as the match started...

CM Punk v. Lashley

Well, this was a bit of a similar action to last week- this time with Lashley destroying CM Punk and Punk taking a beating like a champ. The two put on a decent enough attack as the match continued, with Punk beginning to get more and more offense in. Eventually, Lashley hit the Dominator on Punk, and then positioned him at the ropes for a Pounce. Just then, however, Kennedy headed to the top of the ramp and distracted Lashley, allowing Punk to roll him up(with feet on the ropes) for the win. After the match, CM Punk celebrated as Lashley made a beeline for Kennedy...

(74, 74, 73)

During the commercial break, a video aired of most of the Thrill Seekers/MNM feud up to this date. After the match, The Thrillseekers headed to the ring (Cappotelli doing typical babyface stuff, Jeter looking like he didn't even know where he was at the time.) This was followed by MNM coming out, both wearing their T-shirt (AVAILABLE AT wweShopzone.com today!) underneath their jackets and keeping them on for the match...

MNM v. The Thrillseekers

Well...this was a terrible matchup. There was pretty much no saving this one as a whole. MNM tried their best to save the match, but Johnny Jeter looked completely strung out throughout the match and Matt Cappotelli wasn't good enough to cover it. MNM tried to do all the moves, but there was no saving the match. Eventually, Melina distracted the referee as MNM went for the Snapshot on Johnny Jeter. Johnny Nitro loaded him up...but all he got was a modified Farewell. Nitro turned around and saw that Mercury didn't take his part of the move...then saw Joey Mercury rip off his MNM shirt to reveal a Raw T-Shirt! Mercury then proceeded to grab one of the tag title belts and clock Johnny Nitro with it. Seeing a spot, Johnny Jeter put a hand over Nitro, getting the three and the win!

(61,69, 65)

Joey Mercury loses 8 points overness for losing to the Thrill Seekers

Johnny Nitro loses 9 points overness for losing the feud

Johnny Jeter gains 5 points overness for winning the final battle

Matt Cappotelli gains 5 points for winning the war

...After the match, Joey Mercury jumped into the crowd and headed outside the ring as Cappotelli and Jeter celebrated in the ring with the titles. Matt Cappotelli then took the mic...

Cappotelli: "YEAH! It took us a long time, but we did it, man! We finally showed MNM who the dominant team was!"

Jeter: "Yeah...you know we're number one, man..."

Cappotelli: "I know. It's been a tough couple months, man...I saw them injure you, beat me down each week, and treat me like a second rater. But that's changed, man- I'm one of the Tag Team Champions!"

Jeter: "We worked hard, man..." Cappotelli then looked at the beaten Nitro and Melina as they headed back to the ramp.

Cappotelli: "Honestly, people, we can't stress the hardships enough. It's times like this..." Cappotelli then put his hand out to raise Jeter's hand..."...that a person truly is forced to realize who their real friends are in the world..." Cappotelli then turned to Jeter... "...and Johnny...

...IT'S NOT YOU!"

Matt Cappotelli then proceeded to hit Johnny Jeter with a vicious Superkick, then grabbed his title belt and headed back up the ramp to the waiting Nitro and Melina, handing one of the belts to Nitro as Melina took the mic...

Melina: "MNM died here tonight...LONG LIVE MNM!" Melina then raised Nitro and Cappotelli's hands as the show went to break...

(58)

Johnny Jeter gains 1 point overness on the way out

Matt Cappotelli gained 2 points overness because no one saw it coming

Meanwhile, backstage, CM Punk is watching the matchup intently. Just then, the power went off backstage as the gong of some bells started ringing, then stopped. The lights came back on as CM Punk looked visibly shaken...

(76)

Backstage, Dusty Rhodes and Theodore Long were watching the show.

Long: "So, playa...you finished screwing us over? First, you take one of our hottest divas, then you take two of our hottest prospects- what's next, playa?"

Rhodes: "Oh, come now, MITHTA Long, I'm a fair man...How about YEW pick the last of ours from thith-here lottery mathine, IF YEW WEEL?" Long looked at Rhodes...

Long: "You're on, playa!" Theodore Long headed into the lottery ball and took one out, then handed it to Rhodes...

Rhodes: "You're thure you want thith one, Mithta Long?"

Long: "B'lee dat, playa..."

Rhodes: "Okay..." Rhodes opened the ball...

Rhodes: "The FINAL pick for RAW THITH WEEK ITH...BRIAN KENDRICK!"

(71)

JBL v Chris Benoit

Well, this was a weaker match than you would have thought. While both workers can be in good matches, this seemed to miss something. The fans didn't seem to care as much about JBL after how bad his last feud is, and Benoit had managed to carve a niche in the "top of the bottom, bottom of the top" place for the WWE. The Cabinet tried to come out and attack, but the referee managed to see them and sent them back to the dressing room. After this, the match was pretty straightforward for the WWE: Benoit attacks, JBL hits the Clothesline from Wall Street out of nowhere and gets the win. Yeah, yeah...

(83, 79, 81)

JBL gains 1 point overness due to all the damage control WWE is doing for him...

Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels

This match was pretty much...blah. If this is what they moved Michaels for, you'd expect he would have some more effect in it than a throwaway challenger, right? Anyway, the match was pretty good, but it was a little weak. Michaels sold immensely for Orton, which was probably a good thing- if Michaels isn't immediately dominating against a challenger, it's just a better move for the show in general. Michaels took the advantage and went for the Sweet Chin Music, but Randy Orton grabbed him while he was "striking up the band" and hit an RKO on him to get the victory. After the match, Orton celebrated, when Rey Mysterio ran in and attacked as the show ended...

(91, 85, 89)

Over: 71

As the show ended, me and Sophie were hanging out backstage. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a disposable knife, when she finally spoke up.

Sophie: "So, what do you think they're going to check us on for this booking spot?"

"No idea- I mean, if it's talent stuff, there's the question. You usually strike hard when you make a move, but I'm much more consistent with mine...almost a knockout punch versus an intense flurry of jabs..."

Sophie: "Well, you are supposed to be their ace of talent stealing..."

"Booking...well, I'm already on WWE's booking team, and I don't even know if you've even played EWR, let alone booked a show in your life..."

Sophie: "HEY! I booked shows before...I...I had a really good score in GM Mode on Smackdown versus Raw..."

"Oh, sure...that'll really help you..." Just then, I saw Sophie get mad...

Sophie: "Oh yeah? Well, I'll show you. I'll get this one, and it'll be the best show on TV when I'm done with it. So there!" Sophie stuck out her tongue as she left and I prepared to see how I'd wow them...

- www.wwe.com

The WWE has announced the releases of Johnny Jeter and Sharmell Sullivan. We wish them the best of luck in their future endeavors.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next week, I was a little bit more rested and more in tune to find out the best possible ways to impress the people in charge. Unfortunately, neither me nor Sophie were high-ranking enough or exclusive to in-house WWE work to merit being brought to the shows that weekend in England. I took the bright side and headed off, waiting until the next Monday so that I could make plans to go to the Impact tapings. That Monday, I proceeded to look on the WWE.Com website to see the results at the Supershow:

WWE Raw Results from London

Raw started off with a bang as Mr.McMahon came to the ring holding the World Tag Team Titles. McMahon then claimed that Matt Cappotelli's actions on Smackdown had forced the WWE to vacate the belts, with MNM facing three teams on Smackdown Friday night in Manchester- one from Smackdown and two from Raw. In addition, McMahon announced the plans for the 2005 King of the Ring, with the qualifying round occuring the next two weeks. McMahon finally said that he had made plans to end the problems with John Cena and Kane next week, as the two fight in the only way to save things- the first Hell in a Cell match on free TV since 1998...

Joey Mercury made his "official" Raw debut with a bang, defeating Magnum TOKYO cleanly with an Onion Buster to become the first official qualifier for the 2005 King of the Ring tournament on the Raw Regional.

The second member of the tournament was decided, as a mistaken People's Elbow performed by Eugene allowed Trevor Murdoch to become the second qualifier for the King of the Ring tournament. After the match, Eugene tried to apologize to Regal- who proceeded to pull out some brass knuckles and hit the Power of the Punch on his former protege.

The mysterious Apolo proceeded to save a potential weakness for the bizarre changes of Sylvie-Ann Grenier, allowing Homicide to become the third qualifier for the King of the Ring tournament.

The New New Blackjacks became the first Raw team to earn a shot at the vacant World Tag Team Titles by beating Raw's newest team in The New Headbangers.

Paul Burchill was distracted by interference by the members of Kyo Dai, allowing Paul London to be the fourth qualifier for the King of the Ring tournament tonight. Click HERE for the updated tournament brackets...

The Baseball Furies put up a strong fight in the land of cricket, but a shocking attack by former "Survivor" star Johnny Fairplay led The Matt and Mark Show to make their way into the Tag Title matchup.

In a steel cage match, the fact that Chris Masters was able to have no fear of Chavo Classic and his mighty belt. This served to his advantage, as Masters regained the WWE Intercontinental Title by defeating Chavo Guerrero following a Masterlock. After the match, Theodore Long came out and tried to dispute the ending of the match- mostly due to the fact that in the middle of the matchup, Long had made his draft choice and received Chavo as the newest member of the Smackdown roster.

In the main event, Triple H managed to beat James Gibson from pillar to post. However, a fluke pin managed to allow Gibson to make his Raw debut in the ultimate style by pulling off the upset on the ultimate ace on WWE Raw. After the match, Gibson celebrated as Triple H swore he would get revenge on him...

Click HERE for Smackdown Spoilers from Manchester:

In a return of one of the more long-standing feuds on the show, a mistake by the "bWo Babe" Maria led The Mexicools of Super Crazy and Psychosis to defeat the bWo of Big Stevie Cool and Da Blue Guy and get a shot later that night for the World Tag Team Titles.

Dusty Rhodes came to the ring and announced that he had made his newest pick, and that John Bradshaw Layfield was going to Smackdown. This brought out Theodore Long and Vince McMahon, who proceeded to tell the crowd that due to the rules of the Money in the Bank contract, JBL had to cash in his shot for the World Heavyweight Title that night with the winner getting the belt and the loser going to Raw as this pick.

The first person to qualify for the Smackdown half of the King of the Ring tournament was a huge surprise, as the unheralded Chet the Jet pulled off an upset on Snitsky to punch his ticket into the tournament.

Chavo Guerrero made the most of his Smackdown debut, as he defeated Matt Bentley to make his way into the King of the Ring tournament.

The third position in the King of the Ring tournament was a huge surprise as well, as well-timed interference by the Brazo de Plata Fan Club led Brazo de Plata into the King of the Ring tournament with an upset on Matt Striker.

The New New Blackjacks took the World Tag Team Titles back to Raw as they outlasted MNM, The Matt and Mark Show, and The Mexicools in a fairly decent title match.

The fourth member of the King of the Ring tournament on Smackdown occurred as Mistico outlasted Johnny Parisi.

In what many people at the show were calling a Match of the Year candidate and many insiders who saw it were calling a ***** match, CM Punk defeated Chris Benoit following an Anaconda Vice. After the match, Punk celebrated in the ring until the lights went out and gongs occurred.

Rey Mysterio defeated Chris Jericho in a match many were calling excellent.

Randy Orton outlasted JBL in order to retain his World Heavyweight Title and send JBL over to Raw to end the show...

King of The Ring 2005 Updated Tournament Brackets:

Raw Regional:

Joey Mercury v. Magnum TOKYO

Joey Mercury v. Paul London

Paul London v. Paul Burchill

Trevor Murdoch v. William Regal

Trevor Murdoch v. Homicide

Homicide v. Sylvie-Ann Grenier

Val Venis v. James Gibson

Low-Ki v. To be Announced

Brian Kendrick v. Eduardo

Bob Sapp v. Spot Reserved for Raw's Draft Choice next week

Smackdown Regional:

Snitsky v. Chet the Jet

Chet the Jet v. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo Guerrero v. Matt Bentley

Matt Striker v. Brazo de Plata

Brazo de Plata v. Mistico

Johnny Parisi v. Mistico

The Boogeyman v. Johnny Nitro

Lashley v. D'Lo Brown

Gregory Helms v. Steven Richards

Ken Kennedy v. Spot Reserved for Smackdown's Draft Choice next week

Edited May 26, 2006 by Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster

[joose2001]

Flec, loving the diary so much man. Youve really got me hooked

I think this is the first one Ive actually sat and read the whole thing in 2 nights... hope to see more soon, and good job man

[Silent C]

Just got done catching up. I'm really liking this.

On the other hand, you went and did this:

They told him he'd get the IWGP title from Lesnar... they gave that to freaking Kevin Nash

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

When I got to the shows on Thursday, I tried to get into my other mode. I headed to some fast food joint and cleaned myself up, trying to look less like the unkempt TNA superfan and more like a respectable phony member of the WCCW writing staff. The look was noticeable- even Jackie was somewhat shocked when she actually saw me make the transition to my more dignified look. Jackie tried to come with me, but I told her to just shop across the street from the offices- "after all, if WCCW will never sign you, it'd be bad form for you to come with me for this one...", I said as I headed in. I saw her head over to me.

Jackie: "...Raven Guy...good luck." I flashed a quick smile as I responded,

"When I have this much skill, luck's not necessary." I headed off and entered the offices. I met up with Bischoff as he headed over to me.

Bischoff: "Kid, where've you been lately? Picking me up some good scouting ideas, no doubt..."

"Well, yeah, but I've been thinking of possibilities for what we can do to help out the card more than that. I think I have some excellent ideas for the undercard this time..."

Bischoff: "An undercard idea...it just might be crazy enough to work. Let's hear it in the booking room." I headed into the booker's room as people came up with ideas. Most of them seemed to be based on Nash, Hogan, and the occasional idea for Goldberg. After a little bit of watching their ideas, I piped up again...

"You know. We've done a little bit with the higher card stuff, but we should really think of ways to help the lower card make them feel like they're being used. For that...I think I came up with one possibility..."

Bischoff: "Well, let's hear it..."

"I'm thinking...starting as soon as needed, go with something older. Say...a Best of Seven series...for the Television Championship. Buff Bagwell up against Charlie Haas. The fans will LOVE it!" I saw some of the writers chatter before Bischoff spoke up.

Bischoff: "You know, I think that could work. Bagwell...well, everyone loves him. That guy gets heat walking down the street- we all know that. Haas seems like he's been morose recently- a feud with Bagwell will probably make him get happy again. I say we do it. Couldn't hurt anything,right?" YES! The first part of my plan worked. I needed to get to part B of this.

"Well, if we're going with this, let me go give Haas the info, all right?"

Bischoff: "Sure thing, kid..." I headed off into the offices, only to see Haas waiting around in the finance department. Seeing an opening, I got on my cell phone and tried to leave a message.

"Hey, Charlie...could you come on and step out for a bit? I'm here for the writing team- we've finally got plans for you..." I waited until I got the message to him, finally seeing him step out of the offices and head outside.

Haas: "Yeah- what are your plans for me?" I started to leave the building as I kept talking to him.

"Well, I have a couple plans for you. The first plan is pretty straightforward: You go in for a Best of Seven series against Bagwell for the Television title. Of course, you're going to lose in seven, but hey- it'll get you on TV, right?"

Haas: "You mean I have to job to Bagwell for the Television title instead of the push I was promised? That's low, man. What's your second plan for me?" Just then, I showed up right in back of him and put on my other voice.

"Well, honestly, man...my second plan involves you and your wife showing up on Monday Night Raw by the end of the month for a sustained push..." I saw Charlie turn to see me standing there...

Haas: "So...I WAS right. You are the mole..." Haas then turned and embraced me like a brother. "You're serious- you've managed to get Jackie's message?"

"Of course, man. I'm here to say that if you two are willing to sign with WWE today, we'll be happy to welcome you both back into the fold. Jackie's over on that street shopping...you want in?"

Haas: "You mean you let her out on a shopping district unguarded? Honestly, you're not as sharp as I heard you were, kid. Let's go- I'm ready to blow this taco stand." Me and Charlie headed over to the street and looked through the windows, finally seeing Jackie in one of them. Charlie headed into the shop as I saw him and Jackie embrace. As they were in the shop, I called up Bischoff on my cell...

"Yeah, boss? I have some bad news... I headed over to Charlie Haas to give him the plans for next week, and he said he was so pissed that he had to job to Bagwell that he's quitting the company. You'll have to plug someone else in for this one..."

Bischoff: "No problem, kid...I think we have another possibility for this one in the works..." I hung up the phone as I waited for the two to come out before I passed them some tickets up to Stamford...

Meanwhile, back at the office...

Bischoff: "So...you're serious? You'll jump to our show?"

Voice: "Oh yeah, man. WWE's been mistreating me for a couple years now. They tried to book me well, but now- they won't let me on TV, they won't let me have any good wins...they won't let me be me, man! I figure, if you'll do these things, I'll jump ship when you want me to..."

Bischoff: "Excellent. I'll see you here in a couple weeks, then."

Voice: "No problem, man...no problem..."

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next weekend was pretty uneventful, spent mostly driving my latest victory to the office and getting down to Orlando. As I proceeded to go downwards, I got a phone call. I could recognize the voice immediately.

"Hey, Matt...listen, I know, I know- I pitched my idea to them- not sure what they're going to do. It's in their court right now. If it works, you'll know at the supershow this week. Now, I've got to get to Orlando to get some more stuff. Okay?" Just then, I heard the response.

"Actually, I was calling to thank you- they apparently have the plan set up. I think it's going to be awesome. You really came through for me this time, Raven Guy. Oh yeah- how's the other part of my conditions going?"

"Haven't seen him around yet...if I do, I'll be sure to work my magic, okay?"

"Sure thing, man- I trust you. I'll talk to you later..." I smiled as this looked good. I had some good luck, I had a big ticket signing last week, and I'm going to have another this time. When I got to Orlando, I felt pretty good. I saw the three other "TNA Defense Force" members come up to me. Alex headed over towards me as he proceeded to talk.

Alex: "Oh, hey, Raven Guy...listen, last week, we were noticing something. Well, it seems that Joey came to the show with you, but then you left early and headed off. That tells me one thing, and to be honest...it kind of hurts me to ask this to you..." Oh crap...I've been leaked. Well, time to bite the bullet...

Austin: "So...are you feeling better or what? You know- the cold is an enemy of all good pro wrestlers, and we just want to make sure you're all right."

"Well, guys, you see...it was like...OH! I was sick! Yeah- pretty bad, had a nasty cold, couldn't stay long- you know the deal."

Val: "Yeah- Joey called me and said he was sick too today, so I thought that was the reason. Well, at least you're all better and ready to do some damage tonight to the Mole."

"Yeah. Let's do it one time for Joey...JUST YOU WAIT, MOLE, WE'RE GONNA BRING YOU TO JUSTICE! UPON ST.SWITHIN'S DAY! UP THE REVOLUTION!" I saw the three look at me.

"...um, too much?" The three nodded as I headed towards the TV.

WWE Raw:

As the show started, Styles and King were on hype duty.

"This is a big night, King! The final four qualifiers for the Raw side of the King of the Ring tournament, and Dusty Rhodes has already said that this week's draft pick is going to be the final slot there!"

"That's big to you? What about the fact that tonight we'll have the biggest main event this millennium: Kane, John Cena, Hell in the Cell! You do not want to miss that!" Just then, Kyo Dai headed down to the ring as the first match began...

Hiroshi Tanahashi and Shinsuke Nakamura v. Kyo Dai

Okay. Here you have two of the hotter young talents in Japan right now...and they're facing two guys with a ninja gimmick? This looks pretty bad. The only fun thing about this was trying to hear Styles and King swearing that this match was an authentic Japanese strong-style puro matchup (even though one of the teams is made up of American citizens in a bad ninja gimmick and the WWE would never in a million years allow a strong-style matchup.) Naturally, the match ended as you would expect- instead of the stars in Tanahashi and Nakamura managing to get a victory not by clean work, good skill, and FIGHTING SPIRIT...but rather by a British guy dressed as a pirate coming in and attacking two guys in ninja costumes. Yeah, somehow I think that Tanahashi and Nakamura are really going to dread coming to the US on this "learning excursion" very soon. After the match, Kyo Dai looked at their "generic countrymen" and nodded...and then, since all Japanese people OBVIOUSLY listen to ninjas, the two proceeded to CHOP THE SHIT OUT OF Burchill. Not too bad, but could have been much better (like more time, more nice moves...NOT THROWING AWAY THE DEBUT MATCH FOR THE TWO HOTTEST PROSPECTS IN JAPAN AGAINST KYO DAI...

(48, 85, 66)

KOTR Qualifying Round: James Gibson v. Val Venis

This seemed like it would be so decent, too. Venis is one of the most underrated workers in the world today, and Gibson's been on fire...but this was just par for the course. The match didn't have as much due to the face/face dynamic, plus it was given next to no time. The right worker went over though, as Gibson got the victory following a Trailer Hitch. Eh...it was what it was...

(66, 76, 71)

After the break, Low-Ki's music hit as he headed down to the ring and took the mic.

"GRRR...I come here looking to improve my skills and become the only man standing at the end of the tournament...but then Dusty Rhodes doesn't even tell me who I'm fighting. No matter...I must have the draft pick, so I'll take whoever this is down tonight. Get out here, whoever you are, so I can kick your ass!" Low-Ki waited a little bit. Just then, the lights went down as "Tank!" hit over the speakers, only to have James Storm head down the ramp and attack Low-Ki.

(81...?)

Low-Ki gains 3 points of overness because he is Low-Ki and as such can do no wrong

James Storm gains 1 point of overness for proving there's life after tag teaming

KOTR Qualifier: James Storm v. Low-Ki

Well, if the match's buildup was lame, at least this match was awesome. Low-Ki and Storm managed to put on a total "slobberknocker" (as JR kept calling it), meshing incredibly well together. Low-Ki kept a nice array of kicks...which led to the one weakness of the match- specifically, James Storm trying to use more martial arts (which, even when not compared to a top-shelf martial artist wrestler like Low-Ki, would look pretty subpar.) Eventually, Storm hit a seemingly botched kick right to Low-Ki's head to send him spinning, allowing Storm enough time to go up for the Top-Rope Bulldog (which the announcers sold as the Cowboy Bebop) for the win. Eh...it was decent, that's all I care about...

(48, 89, 68)

KOTR Qualifier: Eduardo v. Brian Kendrick

This match...well, it was a disappointment. Eduardo clearly doesn't have the charisma Carlito had in order to get over a gimmick like this, and Kendrick was too busy trying to make sure the match lived up to the other matches. Eventually, the match seemed to be pretty poor. Eduardo worked over Kendrick's legs for most of the match, taking him out of his element too much. This led to Eduardo locking the Figure-Four on him, causing Kendrick to tap. Meh...

(64, 78, 71)

The New New Blackjacks v. Cade and Murdoch

And we have our "evil cowboys" up against our "gay cowboys" battle for the night, as we get a great Southern-style brawl to whet our throats for this one. Nice brawling was mixed with some decent comedy moves by Cade and Murdoch as the match began to get a little heat. Cade and Murdoch took the advantage, with Cade managing to hit The Stroke on Barry Windham (only getting a one-count) as Trevor Murdoch hit Steve Bradley with a Splash Mountain (that the announcers sold as the "Brokeback Mountain"). However, just as Murdoch pinned him, Windham headed over and choked Murdoch out with a anal sex with a monkey, causing the referee to call for a DQ. After the match, the four kept attacking each other and fought their way to the back.

(67, 70, 68)

After the break, "Sapp Time" hit on the TitanTron as Bob Sapp came down to the ring accompanied by Madusa as he waited for his opponent. Just then, Dusty Rhodes came to the ring and took the mic.

"LADIETH AND GENTLEMEN, DA 'MERICAN DWEEM, DUTHARODE, ITH PROUD TO BE GETTIN' FUNKY LAHK A MONKEY RIGHT HERE ON DA MOTHERSHIP! TONIGHT, MITHTA BOB SAPP, DA 'MERICAN DWEEM, DUTHARODE, ITH HAPPY TO THAY YOU WEEL BE GETTIN' A SHOT AGAINST OUR DRAFT CHOICE FOR THIS WEEK...HIT HITH MUTHIC, IF YOU WEEL!" After a second, the Tron hit with a huge "OHHHHHHHHH YEAH!" Just then, Matt Hardy came down the ramp and rushed into the ring, peppering Bob Sapp with a number of punches.

(79)

Matt Hardy v. Bob Sapp

Okay...sometimes, you have a match that exposes the business. Sometimes it's a big botch, sometimes it's an absurd finisher, and then there is this. Listen carefully, Hardy marks: THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY ON THIS PLANET THAT MATT HARDY WOULD EVER HAVE A COMPETITIVE LEGIT MATCHUP WITH BOB SAPP. It's just not possible. But lo and behold, here was Matt Hardy and Bob Sapp going 50-50. To add to the problem, despite the fact that Sapp would probably...you know, kick Matt Hardy's ass and break his laptop, Matt Hardy managed to get the win here- the result of Shannon Moore heading down to the ring and distracting Sapp, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate. ...Whatever...

(75, 60, 70)

Styles: "Now let's go over to Robbie Dawber, who's standing by with Triple H!" Just then, the scene hit to the interview area...

Dawber: "Hi...I'm Robbie Dawber..." Just then, Triple H kicked Dawber, then hit a Pedigree on him as he took the mic...

"I don't need you or any other interviewer to give this message out-uh. JBL- I heard you talking all the time on that other show about how you were supposed to be this 'wrestling GOD-uh' or something. Real nice, too...I'm sure Paul Heyman could have told you how you could have been this God of wrestling-uh, right? You may have been all that and more over on Smackdown-uh, but you're on Monday Night Raw-where the big boys play. Rememb-uh? I think you were here before. Weren't you supposed to be great because-uh...you were from Texas? Or was it 'The GREAT STATE of TEXAS-uh?' Real good stuff...you really were the Wrestling GOD back then, eh, Johnny? Just rememb-uh one thing...on Smackdown, you may have been a Wrestling God-uh...but on Raw...you either bow down to the King of Kings...or you get out of the way." Triple H threw the microphone on Dawber's head as he kept lying there while the show went to break.

(62)

Triple H-uh loses 1 point-uh of ov-uhness!

*slaps in face* Robbie Dawber gains 3 points overness

JBL v. Triple H

Well, this is WWE for you...they get a dream match, and they hotshot it onto being second from the top in the main event. Did Stephanie make you sleep on the couch this week, Hunter? The match was surprisingly good, considering who was in it...and by good, I mean "marginally watchable." The crowd didn't have as much heat for the match as I expected for a dream match-quality showing like this, however, Triple H took the advantage, but just as he proceeded to take out the sledgehammer and whale on JBL, Danny Basham ran out to the ring and grabbed it from HHH, then used it on him. JBL then proceeded to cover him for the three, then raised Danny Basham's hand as they celebrated.

(66, 76, 61)

(WWE Title) Kane v. John Cena

Well, this was a better match than you could expect for free TV. The two managed to put on a bonafide match of the year candidate in the cell- making it work better for it. Kane was allowed to be as brutal as he wanted to be, while Cena managed to take a beating like a true babyface icon could. The cell was used mostly for beatdowns for most of the matchup. Finally, Kane threw John Cena to the outside, then managed to start to climb the cell. Cena followed suit as the two began to brawl on top. Meanwhile, an imposing masked figure clad only in black headed to the outside and proceeded to pace outside the cell. Kane got the advantage and went to try to chokeslam Cena off the cell, but Cena managed to kick Kane in the crotch and get him down, then use the top for a no-rope version of the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. The man in black started to scale the cell as Kane was in a bad way- only for John Cena to F-U Kane off of the cell and through the announce table. Cena made the "You Can't See Me" taunt from the top, only for the man in black to grab him and turn around. It was then that the figure took off his mask as John Cena went white...

Lawler: "Wait...that isn't...that can't be who I think it is...is it?"

Styles: "OH MY GOD! THAT'S BROCK LESNAR! BROCK LESNAR IS BACK!"

Lesnar proceeded to grab Cena, then F-5 him off of the cell right onto Kane. Kane, seeing his good fortune, grabbed Cena, rolled him back into the cell, and covered him to get the three count to get the win. After the match, Kane celebrated inside the ring as Lesnar celebrated on top of the cell as Raw came to an end...

(100, 84, 95)

Yo, Yo! John Cena gets 2 points overness in the HIZZ-OUSE!

Kane gains 9 points overness for winning the feud

Over: 74

After the Impact show, I was nervous. I knew I had a lot of stuff happening of my own work on this show. I kind of tried to tell myself as I watched the show that in all likeliness, even if no one got that Cowboy Bebop gimmick I wanted to give Storm and no one would buy Matt Hardy as worthy of a Jesus push, the fact that they'd finally reveal I stole Lesnar from Bischoff on one of my excursions should in all likeliness make sure I'll be in Louisville this time in two weeks. I wanted to get out to go back on the road, but as I left, I saw Bobby Roode sit by with his cell phone.

"Hey, Bobby...something wrong there?" Bobby turned over to me.

"Oh, nothing, Raven Guy. I was just trying to call my mom...she was supposed to pick me up from the tapings, but her car apparently broke down." I looked over at him and then smiled.

"I see...so, you have your mother drive you to your matches?" I snickered as Bobby smiled.

"Hey, with the price of gas, it's just a good deal for me."

"I see. Well...if you want, I'll give you a ride..." I smiled as Roode nodded his head and got in the car. Sometimes, this seems all too easy. I get another likely success story, and I can thank Bobby Roode's mom's car breaking down for that one...

( The Preceding update is dedicated to Sephiroth Clone and is part of the "Incredibly Cynical Attempt By Reflecto to Get Added at King of the Dome." Remember kids, I'm still talented too...

[StevenRichardsRules]

(Y) I'm glad this is back. One of my Dome favourites.

However...

The New New Blackjacks v. Cade and Murdoch

And we have our "evil cowboys" up against our "gay cowboys" battle for the night, as we get a great Southern-style brawl to whet our throats for this one. Nice brawling was mixed with some decent comedy moves by Cade and Murdoch as the match began to get a little heat. Cade and Murdoch took the advantage, with Cade managing to hit The Stroke on Barry Windham (only getting a one-count) as Trevor Murdoch hit Steve Bradley with a Splash Mountain (that the announcers sold as the "Brokeback Mountain"). However, just as Murdoch pinned him, Windham headed over and choked Murdoch out with a anal sex with a monkey, causing the referee to call for a DQ. After the match, the four kept attacking each other and fought their way to the back.

[ClaRK! Kent]

It's one of those tricks to check if you read the whole post when giving feedback, SRR.

I for one did, and very much enjoyed it, 'Flec. Robbie Dawler is interesting, as is your cohorts' continual insistence to realise that Raven Guy is a big sneaky spy. Damn him, these people suck at guessing. Lesnar's return... meh, hopefully you can do something suitably awesome with him I guess.

[JStarr]

Closed and moved to the deep Web.