Diary of A Soldier in the Wars: A WWE '06 Diary

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next night, I headed over to the Smackdown tapings. I saw Mr.Ace head over to me, this time accompanied by a female.

Ace: "So, Sophie- This is the guy I was telling you about...oh, hey kid!"

"Hello, Mr.Ace..."

Ace: "I wanted to get in touch with you when you got here. This is one of Paul's new staff writers, Sophie Nelson..."

Sophie: "Hello, there. Mr.Ace has said you're apparently the new hotshot in the WWE..."

"Well, I guess..."

Ace: "Now, listen: I want you to get to know each other fairly well tonight- you're going to be working in close quarters from now on...?" I was a little shocked- the best double agents never worked with a partner. However, I looked at how serious Mr.Ace was, then sized up the girl. Mousy yet cute, she had the appearance of one of those girls who wasn't a knockout by any means, but yet you just knew in the back of your head probably shagged like a minx. Methinks I might enjoy this... I proceeded to turn back to Mr.Ace...

"Um, I like the idea and all, but why give me a partner? I have a lot of respect in TNA that would probably go down the drain if I added another person to it. Bischoff probably would think worse on me if I got him a second person as well, and two people makes double the risk one of them may slip up..."

Sophie: "Don't worry- I wasn't planning to go with you to the big places."

Ace: "You see, kid- Sophie basically had the same story you do- Paul picked her up out of college for the ECW staff- basically writing. She's not as well-known, and so we're having her focus on working the indy scene to scout workers for ECW's roster..."

Sophie: "...hence, it would be stupid for me to go with you to TNA or WCCW- the only person who'd have a prayer of getting their guys to jump would be Paul E., you know?"

"I see...so how am I supposed to work with her if she doesn't go to these places with me?"

Ace: "Well, you see- she's focusing on indy feds, but we don't want her to go into indy feds alone. Our theory is simple: If one person's signing workers for ECW, then ECW's going to look like they're trying to destroy indy feds and make themselves look better, killing the good will of the Internet fans. If one person signs for both ECW and the WWE, then people will know ECW's a developmental fed for WWE, and the secret would get out: A bad thing for both of us. But if someone goes to scout for ECW while another is going after workers for the WWE, in theory people will see the WWE as this 'vicious, evil group taking down the indy scene' while ECW looks like a noble heroes, just trying to make indy wrestlers look that much better."

"I see..."

Sophie: "So, basically, your mission on these is simple: Get some of the better guys from these places for immediate debut in WWE, then I'll get the weaker people for ECW under development deals."

"Cool. I can do that- what's our first assignment?"

Ace: "I've got tickets for you two to this weekend's IWA-Mid South shows. Paul E. thinks a lot of their workers can be decent prospects for ECW, and there's a couple guys there we've had our eye on. I've told Sophie who the WWE wants to join our roster immediately- she'll fill you in on the way out."

"Excellent..."

Sophie: "Okay, it's a date!" Sophie left as I proceeded to head into the staff writing room. We worked out the way Smackdown would go, and I headed through. I watched the matches, then proceeded to head back to my hotel room as the MAGIC OF DIARIES made a couple days pass. Eventually, the day of the show came through (much quicker than I thought it would), as Sophie headed to my room to pick me up.

Sophie: "So, you ready for some IWA-MS action?"

"You know it...let's fleece those indy rubes!" We headed into her car and headed over to the show.

Sophie: "So, the plan is pretty simple. Paul E. already told me who he was scouting for ECW, and I'm just there to do it. He already said not to cut them off from IWA-MS unless they were going to imminently sign development deals with the WWE, so I don't foresee any problems."

"Excellent...as for me?"

Sophie: "Well, I heard Mr.Ace say that there were three people that the WWE really wants on the IWA-MS roster...he said to tell you to focus on those three people tonight."

"No problem...who does he want?"

Sophie: "Well, there's the luchador special attraction tonight- Abismo Negro. He thinks he could be a good Smackdown attraction. Second, he wants Daizee Haze- he thinks there needs to be some workers in development for the women's division, and who else...oh yeah, he wants Jimmy Jacobs..." I heard the last name and shuddered, imagining the possibilities: Jimmy Jacobs getting hired...but then Alex coming up to me...

Shelley: "I knew you were the mole all along...GUYS! GET HIM!" Just then, I saw the entire TNA locker room beating me within an inch of my life before I was transported to the WWE offices...

Vince: "Sorry, kid- without your skills as a spy, you're virtually useless to us. Hit the bricks!" Finally, I saw a streetcorner, as I saw myself looking worn out holding a sign saying "WILL DROP PANTS FOR FOOD".

"Um, I see...listen, I need to call Mr.Ace..." I turned on my cell phone, only to see that I was sent some video of the first match on Smackdown...

WWE Smackdown:

The Thrillseekers v. London and Spanky

Well, this was actually a decent matchup. It was actually a good thing- The Thrillseekers needed a good showing to be viable as a top-tier tag team on Smackdown, which is a necessity for their feud with MNM. Luckily, London and Spanky are nothing short of miracle workers- if you can't have a good match with them, you can't have a good match with anyone. The teams managed to mesh well enough for the match to be watchable. Finally, Ryan Shamrock distracted Paul London, allowing Johnny Jeter to powerbomb Spanky before Matt Cappotelli hit him with a Flying Elbow Drop for the victory. Nothing too horrible...

(54,80, 67)

Brian Kendrick loses 1 point overness from the match for fans realizing he's just a JTTS

Johnny Jeter gains 1 point overness for finally getting a decent win in the WWE

After the match, The Thrillseekers celebrated in the ring- until Theodore Long headed out to the ring and took the mic...

Long: "LEMME HOLLA AT YA PLAYA! Now, you two did well out there- you proved you deserve your title, b'lee dat! I know that next week, in that very ring, you two Thrillseekers and MNM are gonna be thuggin' and buggin' out there for all these people to see! However, it is my duty to make sure that this match next week is something that the fans will get to see- Next Week, you hear me, playa? That's why I've added one condition to your title match contract- you see, if any of you Thrillseekers interferes in MNM's title defense tonight here on Smackdown, then I will make sure that that title shot never comes to pass, b'lee dat! You see, you interfere- the title shot next week is off, and I already have my boy the American Dream on speed dial, and if you interfere, I will transfer the contract of just one of the two of you to him, assuring you two will NEVER receive a shot together against MNM! Now b'lee dat, playa!"

After watching the video, I got onto Mr.Ace's phone number and called him up.

"Um, listen...Mr.Ace- about the assignment you gave me..."

Ace: "Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem, right? Three indy workers- that's nothing for you!"

"Well, actually...I happen to know that Jimmy Jacobs has a few friends in TNA- friends who I've ingratiated myself with to the point where I don't really feel like it'll be safe for me to sign him to WWE..."

Ace: "I never thought I'd see this day- YOU? Turn tail at a signing? You're getting soft, boy..."

"I know, I know, but it's already taking a risk just for him to possibly see me at the IWA-MS show: my cover story may not be enough for this one. I think I have an idea, but it'll require some work between me and Sophie...

Ace: "I...see? Well, what's your plan?" I proceeded to put Mr.Ace on speaker-phone as (somewhere else), the next match started on UPN...

Brazo de Plata v. Jimmy Snuka Jr.

Okay- can you say "squash?" Between a junior and a debuting guy...who's the son of a legend...it's obvious who's winning. To that end, Jimmy Snuka Jr. took the advantage early on. The Fan Club proceeded to head out and do their weird dance, cheer on Brazo de Plata, and add more glaze to his ham, but it didn't change the all-out assault Snuka Jr. laid on him. Snuka got de Plata down, and then headed to the top rope for a Superfly Splash- only to have Andy Anderson knock him off the top rope before Eric Perez laid the ham on top of Snuka Jr. de Plata headed over to get the ham, and started munching on it as the ref counted the three. After the match, The Fan Club rushed the ring and started up their dance again as the show went to break...

(37, 70, 53)

Brazo de Plata gains 1 point of overness because...well, come on. It's Brazo de Plata. EVERYONE loves Brazo de Plata. If you do not love Brazo de Plata, you don't have a pulse!

Meanwhile, as we headed to the gym where the show was, I set up the plan...

"Okay. Now, there's only one way in which I'll be able to bring Mr.Ace Jacobs and still be able to show my face in TNA again. I'm going to need your help, though..."

Sophie: "That's what I'm here for. What's the plan?"

"Okay. First off, I focus on the two I can realistically get without problem. Meanwhile, I try to butter up Jacobs and put her into your direction, Sophie."

Sophie: "Right...?"

"Then, once this occurs, you sign Jacobs to a tryout with ECW. We get him over to the ECW show...where Mr.Ace proceeds to send someone over, who 'just so happens' to get impressed by Jacobs's work and signs him to a WWE contract. This way, everyone is happy: I keep my cred in TNA, WWE gets Jimmy Jacobs, and the Internet fans think WWE's the devil for stealing someone out from under ECW's nose before they could sign with them, thus giving ECW more credibility."

Sophie: "That is just brilliant! I'm beginning to see why you're so respected for them..."

"Stick with me, kid- you'll be able to see me work my miracles all the time..."

Sophie: "Yeesh- arrogant much?"

"When you're this good, it just comes naturally. Now, let's do this!" The two of us headed into the arena...

(Meanwhile...)

Mistico v. Kaz Hayashi

Well, this was a decent match, but it wasn't as outstanding as I hoped. Considering how good Kaz Hayashi was and how spectacular Mistico can be, I was disappointed by just a great match. I'm beginning to think the hype for Mistico was overrated from his work in WWE. The whole of the match was pretty straightforward: back, forth, back, forth, Mistico hits a nice move, Mistico gets the win. Yeah, yeah...

(43, 82, 62)

Juventud Guerrera v. Gregory Helms

And we get yet another great Cruiserweight matchup on Smackdown. I don't know what it was, but since WWE released the handcuffs from their workers, things have gotten interesting in the cruiserweight division. The matches keep getting good, and there's always awesome shows in the ring. Helms and Guerrera proceeded to put on a gem, making things look very good. The only problem was the ending, as the rest of the Mexicools proceeded to distract the referee. However, instead of Juvi taking advantage, CM Punk headed into the ring and locked the Anaconda Vice on Guerrera, forcing him to go limp. However, Punk didn't break the hold, forcing the referee to give Juvi the DQ victory. After the match, Punk took the mic...

Punk: "Hey, Juvi- you may be able to win matches with your little friends watching you, but next week, I want it to be you and me: No other Mexicools at Ringside! You hear me?" Punk posed for the fans as the show went to break...

(74, 95, 85)

Jay Lethal v. Big Vito

Well, this was one of those typical matches that seem to occur: Namely- WWE steals a guy TNA wants, WWE pushes them. This time, the victim seemed to be Big Vito, yet another person on the list of "most likely to get shitcanned", and the person in the right was Jay Lethal (who got more pimpage from Tazz and Cole to try and counteract that he didn't do much in TNA.) Considering this and the fact that CM Punk has yet to win a big match in WWE despite being signed without a TNA visit, it appears we know how to get things to happen in this era of the WWE, now don't we? Lethal got the victory, as you could expect for a debuting likely superstar. After the match, Lethal celebrated- until Nunzio headed into the ring and attacked Jay Lethal. Lethal fought with Nunzio- until Tony Mamaluke headed to the ring, allowing the FBI a 3-on-1 situation as the show went to break.

(52, 79, 65)

Big Vito loses 1 point overness because he's obviously not long for the WWE

Jay Lethal gains 2 points overness because TNA refugees are getting treated well

MNM v. Psychosis and Super Crazy

Well, this was a decent tag team match. It's almost strange: MNM have been having a string of awesome tag team matches with a number of different opponents since winning the title...but yet they still haven't managed to have that one "career" match- the one that makes them a team for the ages instead of just the best of a weak class. This was close to that level, as the Mexicools' usual tag team ended up having another great match with MNM. It also was relatively clean due to the stipulation, leading to more of a good match. MNM got the easy victory, as you had to expect due to the buildup of MNM/Thrillseekers next week. Whatever...

(66, 89, 77)

After the break, I saw Jimmy Jacobs in the corner of my eye. Seeing this, I turned to Sophie...

"You ready?"

Sophie: "Let's get going..." Just then, it seemed to go into a more high-tech view. We turned to each other and headed to our positions. I headed backstage, looking around before finally making a beeline for Abismo Negro's direction. I proceeded to get him away from the others, fingering a WWE contract in my pocket all the while. Meanwhile, I saw Daizee Haze head through, and had the two of us head over there as well to get more info on this. As this occurred, this somewhat weird view that kind of feels like an all-ally viewpoint put me almost in Sophie's head. When this occurred, I almost had part of me feel my hair getting pulled with one hand while my head was forced downwards a little bit...until just then, I shook my head and snapped out of it.

Haze: "Um...so, what did you want to talk to us about?"

"Oh, yeah. You see...I'm representing the people of Johnny Ace with World Wrestling Entertainment, and he's asked to see if you two would be interested in signing on for us..." I saw the two look ecstatic as part of me wanted to look for Sophie- only to see her and Jimmy nowhere to be found.

Haze: "What are you looking for?"

"Oh...nothing- just someone I came with..."

Haze: "I see. You know...I am really happy I finally got to sign with WWE. I don't know how I could ever repay you...although, I can think of some possibilities..." You know, when I think about it: Sophie seems like a sharp cookie- I think I'm going to let her run the rest of this show by herself to see what the kid can do...

(THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN PREEMPTED BY THE REDEMPTION CREW. We now return you to Smackdown, already in progress.)

The Undertaker v. Doug Basham

Well, this was a pretty unlikely match. I know they're trying to bill an Undertaker/JBL minifeud, but having Taker squash his Cabinet members isn't the way to do that. This was a pretty poor match as well- a weakness, considering Basham is apparently someone who's got to be engineered as a top midcarder. Undertaker, however, decimated him. The Undertaker took the advantage. Eventually, Tracy Smothers and Claudio Castagnoli ran in for an attack, but Undertaker was able to work a 3-on-1...allowing JBL to run in and clock the Undertaker with a chair, sending him down. The three placed Doug Basham on top while holding down Undertaker's arms and legs, allowing Basham to pick up the victory. After the match, The Undertaker took revenge, decimating Basham before finally hitting a Tombstone Piledriver on him as the show went to break...

(74, 67, 71)

Doug Basham gains 1 point overness for managing to beat the Undertaker

After the break, Ken Kennedy headed down to the ring and took the mic...

Kennedy: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 10 minute time limit, and is for the WWE United States Heavyweight Championship of the...United States! In the ring, he is the reigning WWE United States Champion...MR. KENNEDY!...

...KENNEDY!" After this, James Gibson and Nidia headed down to the ring and posed for the crowd...

Cole: "This is a huge opportunity here, Tazz- apparently, the recent Cruiserweight Title reign that James Gibson had really impressed Theodore Long, who decided to schedule this match to see what he could do in the heavyweight division. An impressive outing here could really open some doors for him..."

Tazz: "That's right, Cole- if you can impress the boss, the sky's the limit for you on Smackdown!"

Ken Kennedy v. James Gibson

Well, the match was decent, at least. This was a definite bonus, considering how many amazing matches Gibson had for the Cruiserweight Title and how the honeymoon's still on for Kennedy. The two put on a decent bout, with Kennedy actually giving a lot of offense to Gibson (apparently, all those good matches has made the WWE want to push him harder. The two put on a decent show, with Kennedy trying to put on every move he could to try to put Gibson away, but Gibson keeping the attacks going. Eventually, Kennedy got Gibson where he wanted him, and went for a Lambeau Leap- only to have Nidia distract the referee, allowing Gibson to finally be able to kick out after a long two count. Kennedy looked angry...allowing Gibson to hit him with a dropkick, then lock on a Trailer Hitch. Kennedy fought...but just before he tapped, a bell rang. Gibson looked confused as the referee grabbed the title belt, but then Kennedy took the mic...

Kennedy: "Ladies and gentlemen...the following match has went over the 10 minute time limit, and as such is ruled a draw, meaning that remaining the WWE United States Heavyweight Champion of the...United States...MR.KENNEDY!..." Kennedy paused a bit, only for Lashley to head into the ring and attack him, finally hitting a Dominator on him. Lashley posed with the United States title as paramedics came out to get the champion. While on the gurney, though, Kennedy kept a mic in his hand...

Kennedy: "K...KENNEDY..."

(76, 79, 77)

Ken Kennedy...KENNEDY gains 1 point...1 POINT of overness...OVERNESS!

Meanwhile, backstage, Rey Mysterio was with Theodore Long...

Mysterio: "I mean, come on, Teddy...you know Orton screwed me. I deserve to get another shot at the title."

Long: "I hear what you're sayin', playa...and I think you can work another shot too..." Just then, Kurt Angle and Booker T headed into the office...

Angle: "Hey, Long...why is this guy getting an automatic shot as number one contender? I'm the most recent World Champion- I deserve the next shot!"

Booker T: "Wait, what about me? I'm a recent United States Champion, I'm the FIVE-TIME,FIVE-TIME,FIVE-TIME,FIVE-TIME,FIVE-TIME WCW Champion- I deserve a shot at the belt too!" Long looked at the three...

Long: "Okay then, playa...next I think I'll see who the next number one contender will be. Rey will face Booker T tonight, Angle will face...oh, I don't know...Chris Benoit, the winners fight next week for it! Oh, and get ready- those matches are next!"

Kurt Angle v. Chris Benoit

Well, this was a disappointment. Maybe it was the free TV factor, maybe it was an off-night, but this wasn't as good as Angle-Benoit matches tend to be. The match was good, no doubt- it just didn't have that "it factor" most of their matches tend to have. It wasn't one of those matches where you think you cannot take your eyes off of it. The two put on a technical show, but it was just...meh. Angle got the victory following an Angle Slam, but it was a good match nonetheless.

(87, 81, 85)

Rey Mysterio v. Booker T

Wow...it's the match that could have been a rightful main event in WCW...6 years too late! This match was what you would expect- definitely a good match, but not as good as what it would seem to be. The two put on a good show, however, and it was at least watchable. Booker T took the advantage, as nice power moves and interference from Sharmell Sullivan took the advantage. However, before this could take effect, Tygress ran out of the stands for no apparent reason and took Sharmell out of the matchup. Mysterio managed to get pumped up by this, finally managing to hit the 619 and the West Coast Pop on Booker T to get the win. After the match, Mysterio celebrated before Randy Orton attacked...almost assuring Mysterio remains number one contender. Eh, whatever...

(85, 79, 83)

Randy Orton v. JBL

Well, this was a poor main event...when your World Champion's getting shown up by the people on the undercard, that's always a bad thing, okay? Maybe it was the heel-heel nature, but still- this just sucked. The match was just okay to add to this, which really made things look bad. I was cheering more than possible when Rey Mysterio came in and attacked Randy Orton, solely because the match would be over due to the DQ. After the match, Mysterio and Orton fought their way back to the dressing room, as JBL celebrated. JBL posed for the crowd...until the lights went off and purple lightning struck inside the ring as the show ended....

(67, 73, 70)

Over: 70

After the show, I was spent...but in a good way. I searched out Sophie, who came over looking like she went throught the wringer. I saw her clutching an ECW contract, finally seeing Jimmy Jacobs's name on it...

"Good show...I think we can make a great team..."

Sophie: "Thanks. This is the decoy, but we had quite a lot of success here. ECW's going to have a lot of good new workers to take us through to greatness..."

"Yeah. I figured you would get him..."

Sophie: "Of course- I am good..."

"You certainly are talented..."

Sophie: "That's why they hired me..."

"...okay, you fucked him didn't you?" Sophie looked at me, gave an evil-cute laugh (I am always surprised when a girl can make an evil laugh sound cute...) as she turned to me...

Sophie: "Oh, I don't know...what'd Haze do when you gave her the contract?" I felt myself blush a little as she caught me. "Yeah, yeah- don't hate the player, hate the game...oh wait- you're playing it too, so you can't even hate that! Just deal with it..." I kept the blush going as we went to get these things into our respective offices...

______________________________________________________________________

Just then, Sophie headed back onscreen...

"SUPER-DEFORMED SOPHIE MOMENT! Now, I know that you want to know exactly what me and that...WWE guy managed to do, so here's our story at a glance for tonight, okay? Okay..."

Sophie stole for ECW: Arik Cannon, Brandon Thomaselli, Chandler McClure, Delirious, Axl Rotten, Chris Hero, Eddie Kingston, Eric Priest, J.C.Bailey, Jayson Reign, Mickie Knuckles, Rain, Salvatore Thomaselli, Vito Thomaselli

Our protagonist stole for WWE: Abismo Negro, Daizee Haze

Sophie stole for WWE to steal from ECW: Jimmy Jacobs

____________________________________________________________________________

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next Monday, I headed over to the TNA tapings with Joey. I was feeling a little dazed- Mr.Ace didn't give me a set goal for who to get yet, and I was unsure what I was supposed to do that week. I wondered what the plan for the week was- what Sophie was doing, what the plans on Raw were going to be, and the like. However, I was brought back when we got to the show and we saw Austin and Alex celebrating while Val was in hysterics...

Val: "Guys! Guys! There's some major problems here...TNA's under attack!"

"What's the problem? We know some WWE guy's trying to swindle us..."

Joey: "I know! JUST YOU WAIT, MOLE..."

Val: "Yeah, yeah, you're going to bring him to justice- we know...but this isn't even WWE this time!" Yikes...Bischoff got to TNA? I have to hear this...

"Why...what happened?"

Val: "The last week had some problems. ECW stole Christopher Daniels from us, then WCCW stole Styles, and then..." Just then, Alex and Austin headed over to us,screaming "OH YEAH! THANK YOU, BISCHOFF!"

Joey: "What are you two so happy about?"

Austin: "Well, it seems that Dixie just told us the news. Apparently, Chris Harris gave his notice that he was going to WCCW, and they've made the call to give me and Alex the NWA Tag Titles tonight as a result! We're finally getting the big push!"

Alex: "You know it, boys! We're finally going to be big-time here in TNA! Bye-bye, AMW- look for the era of Generation X, the finest tag team and Mole-catchers in TNA!" Alex and Austin gave each other a high-five as I looked shocked.

"I see. Well, I think they'll probably strike tonight, too. I'm going to go check the outside area for anyone else. If TNA lost their biggest names to Paul E. and Bischoff, Vince has to be nearby to make his move..."

Val: "Good idea. Vince McMahon won't be letting these go quickly. Joey, you watch the crowd tonight."

Joey: "Gotcha...come back afterwards..." I headed out into the Universal Studios area and made a call to the offices. I heard Sophie's voice on the other line...

Sophie: "So- everything going fine there?"

"You know it...what's going on over on Raw?"

Sophie: "Nothing major. I'm watching the first "official" match between that Ninjas and Pirates feud you made...brilliant choice, by the way..."

"Thank you, but it does lead to the question...something every young man needs to know about the ladies in their life..."

Sophie: "...why, what?"

"Well, madam...Ninjas or Pirates: Which do you think is cooler?"

Sophie: "Oh, come on. Pirates. Ninjas are cool, but a Pirate is cooler than a Cowboy, an Astronaut, and a Knight put together. A Ninja is cooler than a Cowboy and an Astronaut put together, but is only slightly cooler than a Knight, meaning that by logic, a Ninja can not be as cool as a Pirate, you know?"

"I see...so, the ranking?"

Sophie: "Simple: Pirate, Ninja, Knight, Cowboy, Astronaut..." Wow...it's like...the perfect correct answer...

"Coolness."

Sophie: "Oh yeah. Plus, I'd rather see Burchill in the ring than Sakoda..."

"I see..."

Sophie: "However, this is a cool match nonetheless. I had heard Sakoda can be fairly decent when he's on, and this was him, well, on. Burchill was putting on a good show, Sakoda was working it well, and...OH YEAH..."

"What?"

Sophie: "Well, Akio came to the ring and tried to attack Burchill, Burchill grabbed him and hit a C4 on him, then while he was selling the move, Sakoda covered him for the victory. NICE, and it sells the C4 as deadly. Now Kyo Dai are celebrating...and oh yeah. Burchill's got his sword and is trying to attack them. Nice stuff here- you should have seen it..."

"Yeah, that is damn cool...could you put Mr.Ace on?"

WWE Raw:

Sakoda d. Paul Burchill by cheating, the two brawl to the back (34, 79, 56)

Sophie: "Sure thing..." I waited a little bit, and finally I heard Mr.Ace's voice...

Ace: "So, kid, what's going on over there? Didn't hear you call in for your orders..."

"Well, Mr.Ace- I think right now, your orders might be moot..."

Ace: "Is that so...why?"

"Well, Mr.Ace...what would you say right now if I told you that I think I can have one of TNA's biggest homegrown stars for you tomorrow on a silver platter?"

Ace: "I'd say you'd be looking at a possible huge coup for us...why?"

"Well, TNA's been under attack by ECW and WCCW. ECW got Daniels from them last weekend, and Styles and Chris Harris are going to WCCW..."

Ace: "I see..."

"Due to that last move, WCCW's need for tag teams, and the way TNA is in need, I'm pretty sure that I MIGHT be able to get you James Storm. However, if I do this, I will probably have to do it tonight- WCCW will be likely to want America's Most Wanted in their ranks and I'm almost certain TNA's going to offer a sweetheart deal to Storm to keep him on their roster."

Ace: "Well, we do have two tag teams with Cowboy gimmicks, but then...you say that this move could hurt both TNA AND WCCW at the same time?"

"Oh yeah- no one buys either one of them as a singles guy, so WCCW will be left with a lemon if they can't get Storm. Meanwhile, TNA would have some huge problems if they lose their first two homegrown stars to different promotions..."

Ace: "Well, that settles it. Get us Storm at all costs, kid!"

"Aye aye, sir- now, just out of curiosity- what's this next match on Raw like?"

Ace: "Your typical 'Gut Check' matchup. We were disappointed with Nemeth's match last week, so we wanted to put him with Venis to see if he had any hope of being a star in the WWE. Venis really carried him to a decent match- there might be hope for Nemeth after all. I mean, we all know the rules here in WWE: If you can't have a watchable match with Val Venis, then there's no hope for you in WWE."

"Yeah, I guess...so, who won?"

Ace: "Well, we gave the win to Val- we figured that since Nemeth's match with Viscera was so bad, we have to put the kibosh quick on that push you planned on for him...I was surprised, too, son- a rare miss from you."

"Well, no one's perfect, right?"

Ace: "Yeah, I guess. I've got to go now: the next match is starting, and Sophie said she wanted to give you the rundown of the show."

Val Venis d. Nick Nemeth (50, 71, 60)

"Okay, sir...just out of curiosity, why IS Sophie at the WWE show, anyway?"

Ace: "Sorry, can't talk, gotta run...bye!" I waited for Sophie to get back on as I headed back into the arena.

Sophie: "Oh, okay. Tell me when you can talk..." I waited until I headed back into the arena, where Val was waiting.

Val: "Did you see anyone?"

"Nope- nobody was out there hanging around. I would think, however, that you should keep an eye on Samoa Joe- if Daniels is in ECW and Styles is in WCCW, the WWE's probably going to make a move to get him in their ranks to totally screw over the Big 3."

Val: "It seems like a good idea, I'll go have security keep watch on him tonight." Yes- jackpot... I waited until Val left before talking to Sophie again."So, what's going on on the show?"

Sophie: "Oh, you missed a GOOD one...they tried to bring back The Headbangers, and then they put them up against the Pitbulls...awesome..."

"I see...well, are they still using that Headbangers gimmick?"

Sophie: "Thankfully, no- they've given them both that 'kid from Jersey who just wants to have fun' thing. Pretty weird, really. Eh, it doesn't matter- the Pitbulls squashed them. Nothing too unspectacular, you know?"

The Havana Pitbulls d. Chaz and Glen Ruth (48, 84, 66)

"So, what's the next match going to be?"

Sophie: "Ooh...it's going to be good. Your boy Homicide and Heidenreich. Your boy's gonna get squashed..."

"Hey...he is a decent worker, even if he is small..."

Sophie: "I guess...it still doesn't work. I mean, Homicide's nice and violent, but Heidenreich...he's BIG! And...BIG! Having Homicide get violent on Heidenreich doesn't work- I mean, he's so much smaller than him!"

"I guess..."

Sophie: "To add to it, I mean, the match is pretty poor. Homicide's attacking with everything, but Heidenreich isn't selling it. Heidenreich seems to be getting the advantage, and...oh look, the rest of Homicide's cronies are here. Well, this is easy- a nice Homicide job, and everyone's happy."

"Yep! Told you he could beat Heidenreich!" Just then, I saw Alex head over to me...

Homicide d. Heidenreich (65, 69, 67)

Heidenreich loses 1 point of overness for losing to some little guy

Homicide gains 2 points overness for knocking off Heidenreich, yo!

Alex: "So, who are you talking to?"

"Oh, just one of my friends- I come here and give her the info on TNA shows, she watches Raw and gives me the info on their shows, you know?"

Alex: "Yeah. Oh, by the way, man...I was wondering. I was talking over the weekend to my friend Jimmy Jacobs, right?" Oh crap...this is what I was dreading...

"Oh, really? He's a great worker, man...how's he doing?"

Alex: "Not bad...apparently, he's just signed with ECW. Anyway, he said that he was at the IWA-MS show last Friday, and he saw someone who looked like you there..." Crud...brace myself, be prepared to run...

Alex: "So, anyway, man...I needed to get the word...DUDE! Why didn't you tell me you had a cousin who was a fan of IWA-Mid South? I came up there- I know most of the guys and gals there- I could have gotten him some huge backstage credentials if he had known!" YES! I AM EENVEENCIBLE!

"Well, I didn't know what my cousin's taste in wrestling was, you know? I mean, he said he was a fan of Mid-South, but I didn't know he went to the shows..."

Alex: "That's cool...anyway, tell him I said hi next time you talk to him!"

"Okay, I will..." I got back on the phone to hear Sophie's voice...

Sophie: "So, who was that?"

"Oh, just Alex Shelley...he said to give his regards to my cousin- you know, the one who goes to IWA-Mid South shows?"

Sophie: "Oh, THAT cousin...well, I'm sure you'll get the message to him, right?"

"But of course...so, what's on the menu?"

Sophie: "Another of your boys is running on this one- Roderick Strong's getting a match with Masters..."

"I see...so they're giving Strong a push closer to the Intercontinental Title? That would suck- I hate it when idiotic bookers give indy legends pushes to the Intercontinental Title for no better reason than they're indy superstars..."

Sophie: "What do you think this is- a bad EWR diary?"

"Yeah, yeah, what's the match like?"

Sophie: "Masters is using his...power, I guess...Strong's using a lot of backbreakers...pretty normal. Chavo Guerrero's doing commentary, and this is pretty interesting. Masters is going for the Masterlock- oh yeah, and here comes Chavo Classic, and he has his belt...and now he's whupping Chris Masters's ass with a belt! Strong's getting a nice backbreaker, and he pulls off the upset. Nothing big...and now Chavo's taking the mic...shall I patch you on?"

"You shall..." I heard info from the show...

Chavo took the mic...

Chavo: "Masters, Masters, Masters. Now, I know that I told you that if you gave me a shot at your Intercontinental Title, I would call my father off of you so that there were no welts on that...million-dollar body OR that ten-cent brain of yours...but then, I guess I forgot to tell you...I LIED!" Chavo then proceeded to do Eddie's trademark taunt as he and Chavo Classic headed up the ramp...

Roderick Strong d. Chris Masters by Chavo Guerrero interference, Masters gets his revenge on both (63, 79, 71)

Roderick Strong gains 1 point overness for knocking off someone major

Just as I finished hearing that, I was called over by Joey...

Joey: "Dude, we've got to get ready. They're calling us in for an angle..."

"What...?"

Joey: "Yeah- since GenX are going to win the Tag Titles tonight, they want you and I to be the first ones to congratulate them...really get over this "Defense Force" thing. Get into the stands before the match starts..."

"Sure thing...I've got to go. Talk to you in a bit..."

Sophie: "Okay...I'll give you the info on this match afterwards..."

Joey: "Ooh...so, who was that?"

"Um...uh...my girlfriend..." (Meanwhile, hearing the vague sound from the arena, Sophie blushed...)

Joey: "Oh, I see...let's get in position..." I saw GenX come to the ring with Val to a scattering of cheers (I love how "Us vs. Them" can make anyone a face in TNA). They pointed over towards us as we made our taunt to them as they headed into the ring. AMW followed as the fans gave a fairly vocal "YOU SOLD OUT!" chant to the champions- one of the weaknesses of TNA is that the fans are usually too smart for these things. Of course, they're not so smart that they can see me swindle their asses...or probably see what makes kids love the cinnamon-sweet taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch- but I digress. The match was...well, it was awesome. I was already getting visions in my head- the glorious day when I manage to con Austin and Alex into signing with WWE, the day in the next couple weeks when James Storm is in a WWE ring, and the rider moment when I'm able to swindle Chris Harris out of his WCCW deal so we can have both members of America's Most Wanted in the tag team division. The match ended pretty normally, with So Cal Val managing to distract the referee while Shelley and Aries proceeded to bring the humiliation by hitting the Death Sentence on Chris Harris, getting the pin and the titles. After the match, the two celebrated as a huge "NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE!" chant hit for Harris. The two headed over to us as we celebrated for the cameras. We waited for them to go off of us before I headed back to my position.

Austin: "Great stuff, man- I am ecstatic! This calls for a celebration...to Raven Guy's brother's bar to get us all plastered!"

Alex: "Yeah! You coming, Val?"

Val: "Well, I assume that Joey can handle this place himself...all right!" I thought of the possibilities, then had the intelligence I pride myself on come into play...

"Um, guys...I don't think it'll be smart for us to leave Joey alone. He's good, but if the mole struck, he'd probably be helpless. I'll stay behind and catch up with you guys. Just tell my brother you're friends of mine- you won't have to pay until I get there, okay?"

Alex: "Sure thing! Great move, taking one for the team!" Yeah...taking one for the team...I waited for them to leave before getting back on the line with Sophie.

Sophie: "So, I'm your girlfriend now, am I?"

"Um...well, my friend needed some way to understand who I was talking with..."

Sophie: "Yeah, yeah...you missed a great match...rock stars...and blowjob faces...and sweet, sweet slash..."

"...Um, what?"

Sophie: "Oh, it was so hot. The match started, and Cade and Murdoch came out. Cade kept talking about why he and Murdoch reformed their team, and he said...he said it was because he knew Murdoch was his dream man...then they embraced, and it was HOTTTT...I'm telling you, this Brokeback Mountain gimmick they're apparently giving them is PERFECT!"

"I see...and the match?"

Sophie: "Oh, MNM beat them pretty bad- but the SLASH! It was so hot...a perfect, forbidden love between a cowboy and a Larry the Cable Guy wannabe...mmm...yaoi..."

"I see...so, what's the next match?"

MNM d. Cade and Murdoch, The Thrillseekers run in and attack (65, 76, 70)

Sophie: "Seems to be a pretty straightforward matchup. Carlito up against Chavo, non-title matchup..."

"So, Carlito's winning?"

Sophie: "What do you mean?"

"Don't you know the rules of wrestling? If it's a non-title match, the champ loses. Come ON..."

Sophie: "I see. Well, I guess, then..."

"Okay...anyone else outside there?"

Sophie: "Oh yeah. Carlito's got Eduardo and his semi-afro watching his back, Chavo's got Chavo Classic and his belt...and now it's two-on-one, because Chavo Classic just whupped Eduardo's ass with a belt and sent him running backstage..."

"Tee hee...my head says it sucks they're billing a new guy as afraid of a man in his 50's, but the wrestling fan in me loves it when I get to see Chavo Classic whup people's ass with a belt!"

Sophie: "Yep, it's a great thing, really. Anyway, the match is actually pretty decent...and now Masters is coming in. Masters is locking the Masterlock on Chavo, and Carlito hits a low blow. Chavo goes down, Carlito pins..."

"Told ya..."

Sophie: "Well, whoop-de-doo...a guy on the booking team knew who was going to win. Big surprise..."

"Okay...but still..."

Sophie: "Now Masters and Carlito are celebrating...and now Chavo Classic's in the ring, and he is whupping Carlito and Masters with the belt and driving them off. Chavo's getting up...and now Chavo Classic's whupping HIM with a belt, claiming he should have beaten Carlito or something like that- eh, it's good TV, anyway..." Just then, I saw James Storm backstage.

"Um, I've got to go for a second..."

Carlito d. Chavo Guerrero by Chris Masters interference, Chavo Classic runs in afterwards and beats everybody with a belt (77, 83, 80)

(SUPER-DEFORMED SOPHIE MOMENT! While our hero's trying to get through on his mission, let's just watch the match...)

After the break, Ric Flair came down to the ring styling, profiling, making people forget he was pushing 60, and the like. Just then, "Sapp Time" hit as Bob Sapp came down to the ring with Madusa for his matchup...

Styles: "This'll be a huge feather in the cap of Bob Sapp if he can manage to defeat the Nature Boy!"

Coach: "Oh, come on. I don't care what you can do in the world of kickboxing, when you step in the ring with the Dirtiest Player in the Game, you're at a disadvantage..."

Styles: "You know, Coach, I was always wondering...if Ric Flair had most of his time in WWE in Evolution, and Ric Flair was called 'The Dirtiest Player in The Game', and Triple H is 'The Game'...well, what are they trying to say there?"

Coach: "..."

King: "..."

Styles: "Yeah, I'm fired...well, I had a good run..."

Bob Sapp v. Ric Flair

Well, this was a bit of a styles clash. Ric Flair is still putting on decent matches, but it's almost a pain to watch Flair get his ass whupped by arguably one of the biggest bad-asses on the planet. Sapp just DECIMATED Flair with nice punches and kicks, really getting Flair into a brawl. Flair tried to wrestle him, but Bob Sapp was just dominant in this performance. Sapp hit a Knockout Punch on Flair, allowing him to get a relatively easy victory for the match. After the match, Bob Sapp posed for the crowd as Flair headed backstage...

(79, 70, 76)

Ric Flair loses 2 points overness for continuing his losing streak

Bob Sapp gains 2 points overness for beating a bonafide legend

[Meanwhile, backstage at Raw...]

Flair kept heading backstage as Sophie headed over towards him.

Sophie: "Mr.Flair, Mr.Flair...great match tonight...It's a real honor to meet you..."

Flair: "Yeah, yeah, Miss...have you seen Mr.Ace or Mr.McMahon around?"

Sophie: "Um, I think I saw them in the booking room..."

Flair: "Thanks..." Ric Flair headed to the booking room, finally heading inside.

Vince: "Well, Ric...what's going on?"

Flair: "Um, yes, Vince...I was wondering. I've been losing a lot the past couple weeks, and I was wondering...what's the plan for this losing streak angle?"

Ace: "Well...um, Ric...I didn't want to tell it to you, but...it's not an intended angle. We're thinking that we wanted to have you put over a lot of the guys who we feel will be the future of World Wrestling Entertainment..."

Flair: "I...I see. So the losing streak...?"

Vince: "...is us jobbing you out, yes..."

Flair: "Okay. Well, then I have one request, sir...if this is the way my career's going to wind down, then...I know my career's likely to end soon, and if it's all the same to you, I'd really much rather have my career end when I'm at the top of my game instead of when I'm being jobbed out. Would you please release me from my contract so that I can put out some feelers on whether one of the other federations will have me?"

Ace: "Hold up...you'd like us to release you- so you can sign with another promotion?"

Flair: "Why not? You've already been jobbing me out- it's already been seen that I don't have what it takes as compared to the new generation of the WWE. If I'm going to do this- why not see if I can go to WCCW and be a main eventer, making it look like their main event guys aren't on the same level as WWE's guys...why not try to win the NWA title one last time, and make fans think TNA guys aren't on par with WWE guys?"

Vince: "I know what you're saying, Ric, but come on...this is a desperate time for WWE. We need our guys in full force to beat these federations, and the name Ric Flair holds a lot of credibility in wrestling..."

Flair: "Please, Vince. You had the same problem back in my last run, and you told me that if I ever wanted out of my contract, all I had to do was ask. I came back, and I was hoping I could expect the same treatment. I'm asking now- please release me from my contract..." Vince thought these things through, only to have Triple H speak up...

HHH: "Um, Vince...I think we should do it...I mean, Ric's given so much to wrestling- why not let him have a chance to go out on top?"

Vince: "Well...okay. I'll release you on three conditions, Ric..."

Ric: "Anything..."

Vince: "First off, I'd really appreciate it if we could give you one last sendoff- perhaps, have you do one last job on your way out- say, on tomorrow night's Smackdown tapings?"

Ric: "Sure thing, Vince..."

Vince: "Second off, I'll let you sign just like you did last time- if you can agree to terms with WCCW or TNA, you can appear on TV immediately, as long as you don't wrestle a match for 90 days...understood?"

Ric: "That's fine..."

Ace: "And lastly...I know you're aware that we've got some moles working the indy scene, and they've got some pull in WCCW and TNA. I want a guarantee from you that if you sign with WCCW or TNA, you'll keep our inside guy secret from them. Do you hear me?"

Ric: "After all WWE has done for me, I wouldn't screw you over like that. I'll agree to that."

Vince: "...then it's settled. I'll have our lawyers draft out a form for your release first thing tomorrow." Ric Flair headed over to Vince and shook his hand.

Ric: "Thank you, Mr.McMahon..."

Vince: "No...thank you, Ric..."

[Meanwhile, at the TNA show...]

I headed over to Storm carefully, only to see him pounding back a few beers.

Storm: "...fuckin' Harrish...gettin' shome sweetheart deal with Bisshoff, then leaving me here...WHADDAYOU WANT?"

"Um, Mr.Storm? Great match tonight..."

Storm: "Yeah, yeah...you're one of thosh Raven Guysh...you two've been with GenX for thish long, you'd come to shee me?"

"Well, yeah- you're a good worker...what's wrong?"

Storm: "What'sh wrong? I finally make a name for myshelf as one half of a great tag team...never get the singlesh push, and all of a shudden Harrish leavesh me high and dry to take Bisshoff's money! What'm I shupposed to do?"

"Um...well, why not sign a deal with TNA? I'm sure they'll push you as a singles guy now..."

Storm: "Oh, yesh...like they'd really push me without Harrish...I wash a tag team shpeshialist, and now I'm worthlessh to TNA..."

"So, you really think you're not long for TNA?"

Storm: "Oh, yesh...they'll fire me, shend me back to shome godforshaken VFW in Tennesshee...my career'sh over!"

"Well...if you think that TNA's going to do this to you...why not just take a drive, clear your head?"

Storm: "What're you shupposed to do on thish? I'm ruined in TNA!"

"Just trust me...it'll be all right. I just need to set something up. Meet me at my car..."

Storm: "Um...okay..." I headed out to the crowd and got in touch with Joey...

"Hey, man...I've got to go. Can you get a ride with someone else?"

Joey: "You got money for a cab?" Darn...I knew this would happen, but...for the greater good...I pulled out my wallet and passed him some money.

Joey: "Thanks, man! See you next week..." I headed out to the car and put Storm in the passenger's seat.

Storm: "Where're we going?"

"Nowhere in particular- just out to give you a new lease on your career..." We headed off as I put my cell phone in the hands-free position and put in my earpiece...

(WHILE THIS WAS HAPPENING:)

Triple H v. Rob Van Dam

Well, this was another decent match. Triple H's really been trying to put RVD over as a main eventer to watch recently. This is a necessary thing, as Raw needs main eventers and RVD needs his credibility back. The two put on a PPV-quality matchup, which was always a good thing: RVD's always worth a watch and Triple H can manage to go when he needs to. However, RVD got the last win on Triple H, and it appeared it was time for Triple H to get his win back. RVD took the advantage, Triple H fought back, KICK, WHAM, PEDIGREE...yeah, it was expectable. Decent enough, though...

(88, 84, 86)

(WWE World) Kane v. Shawn Michaels

Well, this was a RED HOT matchup. Kane and Michaels managed to have the crowd in the palm of their hand. Despite a small style clash, the two managed to put on a very good show. Kane played the dominant monster to perfection, while Michaels managed to keep the crowd in it with some nice face work. Michaels took the advantage through MAGICAL JESUS POWER~!, as Kane was left trying to sell the work. Michaels got Kane groggy, then loaded up his boot for Sweet Chin Music. However, just as he proceeded to do so, Stacy Keibler headed out of the crowd and Slapped the taste out of Michaels's mouth! Kane took this advantage, then hit a Chokeslam on Michaels to get the win. After the match, Kane and Keibler celebrated in the ring- until John Cena came down the ramp and hit an F-U on Keibler, before pointing at Kane's WWE World Title as the show ended...

(97, 79, 91)

Stacy Keibler gains 2 points overness for being a VAHLE BAH-GAWD JEZEBEL!

Over: 75

The next day, I decided to play it somewhat smart. I got out of the car early, then made myself scarce and waited for Mr. Ace to find the still-sleeping Storm at the Smackdown tapings. (Damn, alliteration is fun...) I watched from inside as Ace came over...

Ace: "Well, well, well, if it isn't one of TNA's biggest stars- James Storm. Listen, kid, I'm not gonna beat around the bush- I hear tell you're not happy in TNA, and we can always use another hand. I'd like to sign you to a 2 year deal today...how's that sound?"

Storm: "Oog...where am I...where is that kid?"

Ace: "Come on, now...you're getting a chance to sign with WWE...better than being an also-ran in TNA, right?"

Storm: "Well...is this real? Eh, I don't even care right now...count me in!"

Ace: "Excellent- welcome to the WWE!" Ace shook Storm's hand as I headed back inside- another mission accomplished...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

As a reward to myself, I decided to no-show the Smackdown and just give myself a well-deserved day off. I mean, I just got the WWE one of TNA's best homegrown stars- I feel I deserve it, right? I went out, had me some fun,and just chilled out. On Wednesday, though, I woke from my hotel room to get a call from Mr.Ace. I groggily picked up the phone and answered a vague "uddnnuddin...?" as he began to speak...

Ace: "Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you? Listen, I need you to get down to Dallas as soon as possible..."

"Let me guess...you want someone from WCCW?"

Ace: "But of course, my young padawan. And get them at the PPV- try to have it be someone who worked on the show for them. Now, you'll have to hurry- I mean, Eric Bischoff DOES think you're a staff writer for them, so chop chop!"

"No problem, Mr.Ace...but who should I get?"

Ace: "Oh- surprise me, okay?" I was a little bit pleased at this freedom. I figure, as long as I get them somebody good, everyone will be happy with this one. I got dressed in my regular "fresh-faced kid out of college just looking to screw that EEEEEEEEEEEVIL Vince McMahon!" outfit out of my suitcase and prepared to head to the airport. When I got there, I saw Sophie head over to me.

Sophie: "Johnny asked me to give you this tape- I mean, I figure he needs 'WCCW's top assistant' to know what Smackdown was doing that week- plus, he thinks you'll be too busy to see it on Friday..."

"Thanks- by the way, you've been at a lot of WWE shows instead of the ECW stuff. Why is that?"

Sophie: "Oh, you know- no reason...now scoot! Get over there quick so they don't find out! Go go go!" I felt her push me as if to hurry me along to my plane. After a couple hours, I touched down in Dallas, after which I headed to the WCCW offices and managed to see Mr. Bischoff.

Bischoff: "So, you finally got here! How was the scouting of the indies?"

"Not great- I just see too few people who work the WCCW style, you know?"

Bischoff: "I bet...so, any idea how we should end this PPV?"

"Well, I thought about it, and I think the fans would love to see Lesnar and Goldberg have another great match, only to end with both workers beaten in a heap by the members of the New Order. You see- they'll never expect that..."

Bischoff: "BRILLIANT! I couldn't have thought of it better myself- honestly, Vince didn't know what he lost when he let you walk away..." Oh, I wouldn't say that... I headed into the staff office and proceeded to go through parroting all the stuff I had remembered from old WCW shows, always with Bischoff celebrating. I loved going to WCCW meetings- it was so easy to get great ideas like this by just telling them to do what they did before. However, after a little bit, Eric Bischoff stood up to the people.

Bischoff: "Well, now that we have the plans for the show, on to our next order of business. Now, I know that we're getting a bit of a buzz from wrestling fans, but I truly feel there is one more thing that WCCW needs to prove that we're a major name in professional wrestling. Specifically, it is my opinion that WCCW needs to let people know we've arrived by making a steal from the WWE! Any suggestions?"

Writer 1: "Well, Mark Henry was just fired from WWE- how about we go after him?"

Bischoff: "I said 'wrestler', not 'overpaid sack of shit who couldn't wrestle his way out of a paper bag...' Next?"

Writer 1: "With all due respect, sir...you're not going to find another worker with half as much raw STANK as Mark Henry would give us on a daily basis- everyone knows that this STANK is what makes a federation great..."

Bischoff: "...Not listening! Next!"

Writer 2: "Well, WWE did release Torrie Wilson- even a steal like that could get some buzz around us..."

Bischoff: "Come on, come on: We tried the Playboy thing with Sable, and it didn't work. Ah...our golden boy! Who do you think we should go after?"

"Well, Mr.Bischoff..." I thought back to the releases, then to what I had heard went around Raw, then read the previous post to help myself out... "...I had gotten word from a friend who worked for WWE that Ric Flair's been granted permission to talk with other promotions- you might want to see if he would jump to WCCW. I mean, you'd get a respected former WCW name and a legitimate main eventer in one fell swoop..." I knew this would be a possible weakness for WWE to let Eric Bischoff know that Ric Flair was going to be fired, but then I realized- Vince had already given the papers to Flair, and the only reason it hasn't been leaked yet is WWE.com's plan to hold off on giving the fans that information until Saturday after his final appearance on WWE TV went on. That, combined with the fact that I knew breaking some minor scoops like this to Bischoff would be the perfect way to gain his trust more made it a worthwhile thing to do...

Bischoff: "Excellent...I can see it now...we bring him in, and have him as the leader of the opponents of the New Order- the Five Roughriders of the Apocalypse! It'll be great!"

"Yeah! That's why you're the person who took down the WWE, Mr.Bischoff!"

Bischoff: "Smart kid, this one- you guys can learn a lot from him! I think there'll be big things coming from you in the future, kid..."

"Thank you, sir..." The rest of the meeting proved uneventful. I tried not to get too bored, thinking about what I was going to do after the meeting (i.e. sit back and watch Smackdown.)

Smackdown:

Mistico v. Jonny Storm

You know, somehow when they have jobber matches like this, that will bode well for the WWE. Mistico took the advantage and didn't lose it, seeing as this seemed to be another of the "show the US fans how good Mistico is by putting him up against random cruiserweight jobbers" shows. It wasn't too bad, and just due to how good the match is, It could be a good thing: I heard talks that impressed the brass enough to give Jonny Storm a WWE contract (which could be a decent addition to it.) Mistico got the victory here, but if these two are put against each other again, we'll all win.

(46, 91, 68)

The Brazo de Plata Fan Club v. Too Cool

This was...well, it was a poor match. Considering that Too Cool hadn't teamed up in five years and Gladiator and Wolf...er, The Brazo de Plata Fan Club (what the fuck were the bookers smoking by this gimmick?) were...well, green as grass...this was pretty poor. The match was played for comedy, with it beginning with a quick dance-off (Too Cool breakdancing, the Fan Club with their weird Brazo de Plata dance.) The match was pretty normal- Too Cool took the advantage, but when Scotty 2 Hotty went for the Worm, Brazo de Plata headed in and cracked him over the head with his ham (then took another bite from it.) Eric Perez then covered Scotty, getting the win for his team. After the match, the two did their dance as Brazo de Plata kept eating the ham as the show went to break...

(55, 75, 65)

Scotty 2 Hotty loses 1 point for losing to those fools

Andy Anderson gains 1 point overness for proving he can kind of...sort of...work...

Eric Perez gains 1 point overness for proving he can kind of...sort of...work...

After the break, Ken Kennedy's music hit as he headed down to the ring accompanied by Low-Ki and took the mic:

Kennedy: "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, World Wrestling Entertainment has a very special bonus for you, the fans of Friday Night Smackdown. Here now, you get a bonus: a retrospective of the brightest young superstar on Friday Night Smackdown...the reigning United States Heavyweight Champion of the...United States...MISTER KENNEDY!...

...

...

KENNEDY! Now, in order to have this occur, I have asked my personal bodyguard, Mr.Low-Ki....LOW-KI! to show you people an example of the finest United States title reign in Smackdown history. Roll the footage..." Footage was then shown of random scenes from Kennedy's run on Smackdown, his wins (edited to look like a clean victory) against Lashley, and finally showing a big shot of him doing the ring announcing while holding the title up.)

Kennedy: Now, as you can see, this is a great chance to show you, the fans, the skill of the champion. Hence, I'd like to challenge ANY person who wants a shot at my United States title here tonight! Now, who wants to face off with the champion, MR. KENNEDY...!

...

..." Just then, while Kennedy tried to say his name again, he was drowned out by a "WHOOOOOOOOOO!" as Ric Flair came out to the ring to a large amount of cheers as he took the mic...

Flair: "Thank you, thank you...now, I wish I could come out here to tell all the fans that the NATURE BOY was going to teach this punk the meaning of respect, but the fact is- that's not the reason that I came out here. You see, for the last few weeks, the Nature Boy's been noticing something- I'm not as young as I once was. I don't have much left in the tank anymore. To put it simply- I'm getting too old for this. It finally came to a head a few weeks ago, when Vince McMahon put in my former arch-rival, Dusty Rhodes, as the General Manager of Raw, and I realized- this was a man I was facing for World Titles nearly 25 years ago, and he's not only retired, but he's running things on Raw? It was then that I realized, it was time for the Nature Boy to head off into the sunset..." The crowd booed that remark. "I went through, I decided to wait until the end of this month, and I realized that I could wrestle on Raw, but I needed something more- I needed to give the fans one last thing they could remember me by, something that had never been seen before or since. I knew the only way to do this was to do one last thing I had never done before, and do it in such a way that I could leave with my head held high. So I went over to Dusty Rhodes after Raw, and I said "Dusty, I don't have any more left in the tank, but before I walk down that aisle for the last time, I want to do something I'd never done before and wrestle ONE NIGHT ONLY right here on Smackdown!" Dusty Rhodes then looked at me and he made the call to Theodore Long, and he got me right here in front of you fans! When I got here, I made the same question to Theodore Long, and I said 'Teddy, I know I said I want to come here for one night, and I asked him...can you do me the favor of letting me fight one of your champions so that I can go off into the sunset with one last chance to leave wrestling as a champion?' And now, I'm here and I'm going to put every last thread of my being into that very ring in the hopes that I can beat that smug smile off your face, and walk up that aisle to become the new United States champion, then hand it right back to Theodore Long and tell him 'Teddy- this is all I came here for...I'm done...'" The fans cheered as Kennedy stared Flair down...only to have Low-Ki hit Flair with a stiff kick to the face before Kennedy cracked him over the head with a microphone, then took the mic...

"...KENNEDY!"

(79)

Juventud Guerrera v. CM Punk

This match is advertised as for the Cruiserweight Title, as Cole and Tazz talked about how the division's gotten red-hot in recent weeks. Yeah, funny what taking really good wrestlers and letting them wrestle really well will do for a title, huh? This match didn't seem to have the skill most of the matches have: I know Juventud's really good, and I know Punk's really good, but they just didn't have that "mindblowing" status that you would have expected from them. It's kind of a weakness of the style- Punk's not what you'd call a classic luchador, I guess. However, the important thing wasn't the match itself, but rather the crowd reaction: unlike most cruiserweight matches in WWE, the crowd was pumped up for the match. I guess Vince's claim only big guys can get over is wrong, huh? The Mexicools tried to interfere on the outside, but the referee caught them and was able to send them back to the dressing room. Eventually, Juventud Guerrera went to go for the Juvi Driver, but as Juvi lifted him up, CM Punk was able to lock a modified form of the Anaconda Vice on him, then lock it in as the finisher was hit. Guerrera tapped, giving Punk the win and the Cruiserweight title. Not too bad- not bad at all.

(77, 87, 82)

CM Punk gains 1 point overness for finally winning a match

Meanwhile, Theodore Long was backstage when Matt Cappotelli and Ryan Shamrock headed into the ring, brandishing a videotape...

Shamrock: "You know, this is JUST what those three would do to us! I kept telling you they couldn't be trusted, but no..." Just then, Long stopped Shamrock...

Long: "Settle down, playa...what seems to be the problem here?" Matt Cappotelli then started talking...

Cappotelli: "I'll tell you the problem, Long. MNM have been ducking us, but this week, it went too far! We have this videotape, and this proves that there's a serious problem here!"

Long: "Oh, come on- what's your little problem now?"

Shamrock: "Just look at the tape..." Shamrock put the tape in as it played (and was seen by the fans...), as a scene was shown (of what appeared to be the OVW Training Center.) A few trainees and development guys were working out and training in back as we saw The Thrillseekers at the front of the scene...

Shamrock: "Okay...final training session for The Thrillseekers...take one, and action." Just then, Cappotelli and Johnny Jeter were seen sparring and putting on a few nice moves.

Jeter: "Oh yeah- these things are bound to get us those Tag Titles on Friday..."

Cappotelli: "You know it, Johnny- MNM won't know what hit them..." Just then, Melina headed onto the screen...

Melina: "Um...just WHAT won't my men know about?"

Cappotelli: "Oh...it's you. Well, me and Johnny have been working on some new stuff since the last time we saw you guys, and this Friday, you're going down!"

Melina: "Oh, I see...well, you might be careful...you might not know what hit you two when WE get ahold of it..." Just then, the camera shifted to in back of the exchange, where MNM had Johnny Jeter helpless. Nitro put down both of the tag titles on the ground, then MNM proceeded to hit a Snapshot on Jeter onto both of the titles. Jeter was clutching his eye as Cappotelli and Shamrock headed over to help him and the tape ended...

Cappotelli: "Now, as you could see from that, MNM just punked us out while we were training without provocation! We went to the doctors, and they said that Johnny injured his eye from that vicious assault and would be unable to wrestle for a month- as such, I demand that you allow me to find a replacement for tonight's title match!" Long looked at the two of them and then began talking...

Long: "Now, you see, playa- I'd like to help you, really I would. But there's one problem here, playa- I look at how you and your partner have been running through all of MNM's matches recently, putting yourself in their business, 'punking them out' when THEY weren't looking with no provocation, b'lee dat! Hence, I think that this time, you need to learn that what goes around comes around here in the WWE. I'm sorry, playa, but I'm not going to allow you to replace your partner- that match tonight is still for the World Tag Team Titles, but it's now a HANDICAP MATCH! B'Lee dat!"

(74)

Matt Cappotelli gains 1 point overness because he's fearless enough to fight the champs by himself

MNM v. Matt Cappotelli

Organized assault. This just wasn't fair. The only good thing about the match was it got major crowds to see just how beautifully Matt Cappotelli can suffer. Ryan Shamrock tried to help Cappotelli, but the referee saw it and sent her back- allowing Melina to help MNM out. MNM proceeded to hit a Snapshot...then grab him again and put one title belt underneath and hit a second...then add the second belt on top of it and hit a third Snapshot on the belts. An academic three followed, as EMTs came out to take Cappotelli back to the dressing room...

(65, 73, 69)

After the break, Ken Kennedy took the mic...

Kennedy: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a ten minute TV time limit! Entering the ring first, from Green Bay, Wisconsin...I am the reigning World Wrestling Entertainment United States Heavyweight Champion of the...United States...MISTER KENNEDY!...

...

...

KENNEDY!" After that, Ric Flair's music hit as Flair came to the ring for his last (WWE) match...

Ken Kennedy v. Ric Flair

Well, this match was technically poor, but the aura around it was awesome. Cole and Tazz tried to build up the possibilities of Ric Flair retiring a champion, while Kennedy was putting on some nice moves. The crowd got behind all of Flair's offense, while booing Kennedy more than usual. Eventually, Ric Flair took the advantage. Flair finally got Kennedy down and locked in the Figure Four Leglock in the center of the ring as the crowd went ballistic. Kennedy tried to get to the ropes. Just as Kennedy couldn't take any more, however, the bell rang as Flair got angry. Kennedy was handed his title by the referee as he took the mic...

Kennedy: "Ladies and gentlemen, by the result of the end of a time limit, this match has been ruled a draw, meaning that STILL your United States Champion...MISTER...KENNEDY!..." The crowd booed as he left the ring. Afterwards, Flair stayed in the ring and got a standing ovation from the fans as he walked back to the dressing room...

(79, 64, 74)

Ric Flair loses 1 point overness for going out a loser

Ken Kennedy gains 2 points overness for killing Ric Flair's legend

James Gibson v. Chris Benoit

Cole and Tazz kept selling how Gibson had impressed a lot of people with his run recently...and matches like this prove why. I mean, everyone always thought Benoit/Gibson would be cool, but this was...pretty good. It wasn't as good as a lot of people hoped, but if Gibson has matches like this, he'll be a welcome part of the heavyweight division. Technical wizardry followed as the match went through. The only weakness was the end, with Nidia interfering to help Gibson get the victory. Eh- it was what it was...

(71, 86, 78)

The Undertaker v. Claudio Castagnoli and Tracy Smothers

Okay- two random handicap matches on the same show? Whatever...This match was...worse, considering Undertaker was just...dominant and no one had heard of his opponents. Squash followed, with Castagnoli and Smothers getting a beatdown. When Undertaker pinned Smothers, it was just academic: Thanks for playing, night... The only thing that made the match was the after-effect, where Undertaker celebrated as JBL and Doug Basham headed down the ramp. As Undertaker stared down JBL, Basham struck, as he, Castagnoli, and Smothers beat down Undertaker, then drove him groin-first into the ringpost. Eh- not enough to change the outcome of the match, but cool nonetheless...

(match) (56, 63, 59), (angle) (78)

The Undertaker loses 2 points overness because dead guys aren't supposed to feel pain in the crotch

Tracy Smothers gains 3 points overness for attacking a legend viciously

Claudio Castagnoli gains 1 point overness for attacking a legend viciously

(Number-One Contender) Rey Mysterio v. Kurt Angle

Well, we have our MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT, and BOY, is it a doozy. Rey and Angle always manage to come through with the good stuff, which made this fun to watch. Angle put on his usual awesomeness, and Mysterio put out his nice high-flying work. The match was also relatively clean to add to the fun, which also made it easier to work with. The ending of the match was relatively formulaic, though: Angle went for the Ankle Lock, Rey turned it around and dropkicked him with the other leg. Angle runs to attack, goes down, 619, blah blah, Rey's still the number one contender (which works- otherwise all those attacks on Randy Orton would be wasted, huh?) Pretty decent, and there's nothing wrong with it, at least...

(92, 84, 89)

Kurt Angle loses 1 point overness for another loss to Rey

Rey Mysterio gains 3 points overness for officially staying number-1 contender

Over: 73

That Sunday, I watched the show. It seemed pretty straightforward: Just like watching a WCW pay-per-view in 1998. Same cast, same endings, blah blah. I looked around after the matches occurred, trying to find my target. Eventually, I saw him- talking to his girlfriend, gloating about the match he had. I knew I had who we wanted. I headed over to him and congratulated him on his match- the normal stuff. He saw me as one of the writers, so it was easier. I told him he put on the Match of the Night, and offered to pay for a nice dinner on Bischoff's investors' dime as his reward. Luckily, this was an easy way to get things done- it always is in WCCW. The food went in, the drinks went in, and then I waited until he was drunk. Then, I struck. I got his name on the dotted line, then gave him the ticket to Stamford. After this occurred, I went to my hotel room and faxed the contract over to Mr.Ace that night, then set off for Orlando.

I figure, I'd better go to my next job. It's better to continue performing, even when you know by this time 12 hours from now, I will be a GOD back at WWE headquarters...after getting this guy, my ticket will be punched.

Brace yourself, WCCW...I just stole...

WAIT? DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU PEOPLE JUST NOW? Oh, come on...like I'm stupid enough to let a bombshell like this drop outside the ring. You crazy, man- crazy...

[ClaRK! Kent]

I just sat down and read this diary, start to finish, and I must say I'm very impressed indeed. I'd not read a lot of wOwMem, but from what I had read, I was really looking forward to seeing you do something that was a little more mainstream and a little easier to get into for people like myself who aren't necessarily into the 'niche' that wOw is kinda aiming for.

The backstage stuff is, as somebody else pointed out, head and shoulders above the shows. I guess that makes sense, seeing as what's going on in the ring is kind of there to serve the story, but it's a bit of a shame that the reports aren't so good, and the pushes seem to be a teensy bit catastrophic. But, still, that's not what we're here for, and the storyline stuff is so well done that I'm willing to forgive you on that front.

It's gripping, involving, funny and serious at the same time, and the progression of your protagonist into a grade-A Sith Lord-style evil badass has been very fun as it unfolds. Interested to see what you're doing with Sophie (in a diary about screwjobs, those subtle hints you're dropping aren't subtle enough, your readership has its eyes peeled all the time, Reflecto!!!) and how the 'Team TNA' stuff works out.

Getting Shelley and Aries seems damn near impossible at this time, as does ever getting Joey onside, but it'll make for some good reading in the future, I'm sure.

The slash is... disturbing, to say the least, but the Brokeback Mountain gimmick is positively gold. As is Chavo Classic and the belt-whipping of doom.

So yeah, keep it up, I guess. Huzzah. I'll give you a ***1/4 for the diary.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

"...KENNEDY!"

Suddenly and for no apparent reason, Ken Kennedy left the room as we got back to the action...

That next Monday, I did the only thing that I could do- head back to Orlando. I checked in with my brother as he headed in...

Shane: "So, how've you been? Coming in from Dallas, I take it?"

"How'd you guess?"

Shane: "I saw the WCCW Pay-Per-View- put two and two together. Who'd you get?"

"I can't really tell you right now...trust me, though, it's a big one." I hated to lie to my brother, but it's hard. I mean, when you have stuff like this, you can't really tell anyone- even if you know you can trust them...

Shane: "(CRUD...how do I get him to tell so I can leak it to the Internet...) So...did you get me an autograph?"

"Sorry...it totally slipped my mind. I'll try to get it to you when he debuts, okay?"

Shane: "Um...sure. (Dammit...) So, any plans?"

"Not really. Got to make sure that my friends get things done...can't really talk. I've got to call Joey..."

Shane: "I see. You know...you seem to have changed a little bit since getting this job...?"

"Um...okay?"

Shane: "No, I'm seeing it...you're becoming a bit- I don't know...darker." Darker? What could that mean?

"You're crazy, man- I'm the same person I always was..." I got on my cell-a-phone! (credit Tony Atlas) and called up Joey, then waited for him to come pick me up. When he got there, I headed to the show.

Joey: "You seem a little distant...what's going on?"

"Do you think I've changed in any way?"

Joey: "Honestly, I haven't noticed anything, man. Now, as for tonight's plan- I think you should take the crowd while I take the backstage area. It'll be safer, you know?"

"Sounds good, man. I was thinking of getting a chance to watch the show as a fan anyway."

Joey: "Yeah. Plus, I can get in there, find the mole, and STIFF his ass! JUST YOU WAIT, MOLE, I'M GOING TO BRING YOU TO JUSTICE!"

"YEAH! JUSTICE HIS ASS!"

Joey: "You know it!" We headed into the Impact Zone only to be approached by the other members of my happy little cover story (oops...did I think that out loud?)

Val: "So, you guys made it. How are you guys?"

Joey: "Well, um, uh...great! Really. What about you?"

Val: "Same old, Joey...so, are you going to be back here tonight?"

Joey: "Um, I was doing my normal space..." But you just told me to work the crowd! Are you crazy?

Val: "Aww, come on, Joey...your friend always stays back here. Don't you like me?" I saw Val pout a little bit as Joey started to blush...

Joey: "You know, I think I can switch it this time...you'll take it tonight, right?"

"Sure, man! But before I do, I'll need you to tell me what to do...sidebar?"

Joey: "Okay..." I brought him over to a corner further away from Val and asked, "So...if that was your reason, you could have told me..."

Joey: "Um...what are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't lie...I saw it...the blushing- volunteering to help TNA...you've got a crush on her!"

Joey: "I do not! She's just my friend!"

"Uh-uh. You were trying to be with her...you LOVE her...while I'm trying to keep TNA guys from leaving the company, you're trying to get her to retire from TNA so she can have, like 10,000 of your babies..."

Joey: "Oh, come on...that'd tear her up, you know?"

"Just like you want to do to Val OH BURN!"

Joey: "Well...well...so what if I did? I mean, come on...don't you have someone you like, man?" I had to think on that one. I thought back to Jennifer and her sweetness- almost everything I had looked for before I got into the business. Then I thought over to Sophie, and how she had really drawn me in over the last couple weeks- almost that cross between the girl who'll wait at home for me and the girl who'll be right there doing the sleaze with me. I realized then that I hadn't spoken to Jennifer in a few weeks. Well, being out in the crowd will give me a chance to change that. I headed out into the crowd, scanned the area vaguely to make it look like I was searching for the "Ever-so-Hated Mole!", and called her up...

Jennifer: "Hello...oh, it's you! Where have you been?"

"You know...working...long hours, you know?"

Jennifer: "Oh, all right. You realize you owe me. I figure going out and buying me pretty and expensive things will help you out..."

"Aww...but if I buy you pretty and expensive things, how am I supposed to afford pretty and expensive things for me?"

Jennifer: "Well, that's your problem, isn't it? I assume you want to know what's going on on Raw tonight?"

"Yes'm..."

Jennifer: "Okay. The first match...mmm...cowboys..."

"Cowboys? Are you kidding?"

Jennifer: "Nope. It looks like those two EVIL cowboys, too. I'm not a big fan of them- I mean, one of them sounds annoying...let me patch you in..." I heard her move the phone over to her TV as the strains of "BBQ" ended and I heard the opening promo...

Windham: "YEEE HAW, double-you-double-you-E fans! This is your ol' pal, 'Big Foot' Barry Windham, and with me as always, 'Blackjack' Steve Bradley. Now, you fans need to know, there's something goin' on out there that's got ol' Big Foot madder than a wet hen right now. You see, we've been riding the ranges all over this here federation, and we happened to see two cowboys who are giving us a bad name. It was bad enough that they came in this ring and tried to do what WE'VE been doing better..." The crowd booed at that news...

King: "Oh, come on! Everyone knows Cade and Murdoch were here first! These guys are the ripoffs!"

Bradley: "...But, you see...we've seen the facts. These two have been doing...unnatural stuff to each other. Weird stuff...BUTT stuff..." The crowd gave a "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!" chant in support of the homegrown team as Windham continued...

Windham: "That's why me and ol' Blackjack here are gonna beat the sissy out of those two cow-pokers! We're gonna teach those two tonight that out in the West, Horse Riding is a sport...Bull Riding is a sport...but I sure haven't heard rodeos featuring..." Just then, "Cowboys are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)" hit as Cade and Murdoch headed down to the ring slapping fans' hands all the way. The two headed to the outside, and gave a fairly-obvious "stage kiss" to each other as the New New Blackjacks looked furious and headed to the outside...

WWE Raw:

Jennifer: "Honestly, I still can't see this one. It's all icky and stuff..."

"Aww...but I thought something like this would be up your alley. You like cowboys, right? And gay love..."

Jennifer: "Well, yes, but gay love is only okay when it's between two hot men! Lance Cade and Trevor the Cable Guy are NOT what I consider hot men...now, if it was Cade and Jindrak back when they teamed, it would have been alright..."

"I see...but there's straight cowboys in the match- watch the straight ones..."

Jennifer: "You mean like...Barry Windham? GROSS...he's old enough to be my father..."

"Yeah, but I've heard he can still go in the ring. It's like my grandfather said- 'it's not how old you are, it's how young you feel...' "

Jennifer: "Your grandfather said that?"

"Yep. Told it to me right before he was sentenced to 10 years for diddling one of my cousins..."

Jennifer: "Um...TMI..."

"Yeah, yeah. So the match?"

Jennifer: "Really good brawl. Cade and Murdoch are doing some nice comedy spots here. Cade's taking the advantage. He seems to have hit the Stroke on Bradley...and that only gets a 1 count...and the announcers said something like 'moves like that don't cut it in the WWE...'"

"I see. They still DO 1 counts in wrestling?"

Jennifer: "I know- it seems like everything's a two count. Anyway, Murdoch's been tagged in. It looks like he's sending Bradley to the ropes...and now he's doing the Big Wiggle on him..."

"...eew..."

Jennifer: "Don't worry...Barry Windham's coming in and he's hit Murdoch with a Cattle Prod. And now Bradley's gotten the pin- New New Blackjacks win..."

"I see..."

Jennifer: "Now the two of them are continuing to beat down Cade and Murdoch...and now the Baseball Furies just ran in and are clearing house with baseball bats! They're helping Cade and Murdoch up...aww...how sweet. They're shaking the two's hands..."

"Okay...why do that?"

(REWIND...)

Stephanie McMahon: "Okay, any suggestions for Raw?"

Michael Hayes: "Well, there's too many midcard heels on Raw right now- we'd probably be better served turning a couple of them. In particular, I think we should turn a tag team- there's very few face teams on Raw right now, and with MNM's push we could use some more foils on Raw for them that the fans would buy."

Steph: "Seems fair...any suggestions who to turn?" Just then, I raised my voice...

"Um, excuse me, but if you're looking to turn a team- from my experience out with the fans, I've noticed that a lot of people have really taken to Palumbo and Stamboli's Baseball Furies gimmick- it seems like the fans would love a reason to cheer them, and they'd probably do well as faces..."

Steph: "Fair enough- we'll set up a face turn for the Furies. Next order of business?"

(BACK TO PRESENT...)

The New New Blackjacks d. Cade and Murdoch by cheating(74, 68, 72)

Chuck Palumbo gains 1 point overness for some surprising tolerance in wrestling

Johnny Stamboli gains 2 points overness for...um...even more surprising tolerance in wrestling

Jennifer: "Who knows, really. Eh- it's hot baseball-playing gangster bois- who could ask for more reasons to cheer them?"

"I see..."

Jennifer: "Oh, don't worry...you know I'll still be yours forever once I'm willing to settle down..."

"Okay. Just get on with the matches..."

Jennifer: "Well, this next match is pretty decent. That Johnny Parisi guy's showing up, and he's been doing some good matches this week. I still don't know why they put Joy Giovanni with him, though..." Well, come on- good wrestlers are good wrestlers, but if you put a good wrestler with some eye candy...

"I see. Who's his opponent?"

Jennifer: "Well...let's see...aw, dammit..."

"What? Who is it?"

Jennifer: "It's that Homicide guy! I hate his work. He's small, he's ugly, he has too stereotypical a Latino street thug gimmick...he's horrid!"

"I see. Well, he can put on a good show..."

Jennifer: "I don't care. I have friends who are Hispanic, and I have friends in gangs- this guy's like nothing. It's bad enough he's on my screen, but I keep hearing the WWE wants to shove him down our throats...I just want to see as little of Thug Life as I have to!"

"So- I take it you're not a fan...?"

Jennifer: "...dork..." I tried to listen to the match. So, she wasn't a fan of Thug Life. Part of me would want to depush that stable a bit or send them back to OVW, thinking this could happen...

(DAYDREAM SEQUENCE)

"Jennifer...I heard you didn't like them...so I made the WWE depush them for you..."

Jennifer: "You mean..."

"Yes...I am a major player for World Wrestling Entertainment..."

Jennifer: "I...I'm speechless...this seems like the proper time in a dream sequence where I rip both our clothes off and give you a sexual encounter so intense that it could concievably change your political views..."

"Well...you'd better get to doing that..." Just as the good part occurred, I turned to the TNA screen and saw the latest match: LAX versus The Naturals. It seemed decent enough. I was surprised that Apolo was actually managing to do well here tonight. However, The Naturals got him in the right place...kick, wham, Natural Disaster- The Naturals win again. I saw Konnan and Apolo argue a little bit as the cameras shut off, then head backstage as I thought...that would be the perfect way to leave TNA hanging on a possible angle...Just then, I knew my next diabolical idea...

Jennifer: "...AND ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?"

"Um...uh...your friend's just jealous of you...?"

Jennifer: "That was five minutes ago! I was telling you now that Giovanni slapped Homicide, allowing Parisi to get the victory here. Honestly...if you're not going to pay attention to me, why do you call me for results?"

"Um...to talk to you?"

Jennifer: "...whatever...there's a video on. You want to hear?"

Johnny Parisi d. Homicide by Joy Giovanni interference (57, 88, 72)

"Not a major need. What's the stuff around it?"

Jennifer: "Seems pretty cool- apparently, they're giving this guy a Spike Spiegel gimmick..." YES! They used another one of my gimmick ideas!

"Um...are you kidding? That sounds...fringe..."

Jennifer: "Who knows? I've heard word that focus groups found that people who watch this WWE are also big fans of anime, so they might be crossing things over..."

"I see. So- did it show who the guy was getting this treatment?"

Jennifer: "Yeah, but I never really heard of him. Some guy James Storm or something. I wonder if he's related to Lance..."

"I don't think so, no..."

(64)

"So, what's next up on the show?"

Jennifer: "Oh...excuse me...I'm transfixed...I need to get my...little friend..."

"What?"

Jennifer: "It's Rob Conway...he is so hot...I could do things to him that you couldn't even imagine..."

"I...see..." Mental note. Never introduce her to Rob Conway. "So...who's he fighting?"

Jennifer: "That little guy Trish is apparently going to manage from all these 'TNA!' things, Roderick Strong. He's not too bad on the eyes, either...I'd love to be the meat in a sandwich between those two..." Um...well, at least it'll be a good match...

"Okay. The match?"

Jennifer: "shush...Jenny need to get happy..." I knew I had to wait for a little bit. I watched the show, talked with some of the other regulars, and the like. Pretty normal, really. After a few minutes, I heard Jennifer get back on the phone...

Jennifer: "*pant* whew...*puff* And I'm spent..."

"Um...the match?"

Jennifer: "HOT. Conway took the advantage, but then Strong locked him in the Stronghold, and well...you know how I love to watch hot men submit..."

"Yes...sadly, I do..."

Roderick Strong d. Rob Conway (59, 78, 68)

Jennifer: "Well, this should be interesting...MNM are coming down to the ring...I'm never sure if this is boring or not."

"I see...?"

Jennifer: "Yeah- they're hot, but it's still just decent...something's needed here, like...PIRATES!"

"I see..."

Jennifer: "No, I'm serious. Burchill's coming down the ramp. This should be decent. He's trying to challenge for the Tag Titles, too..."

"Okay. But...Burchill's a solo guy..."

Jennifer: "I know. MNM knows too, so they're mocking it. Melina's trying to see who his partner is. Now Burchill's pointing skywards again, and...Oh no..."

"...what?"

Jennifer: "You remember that really lame pirate from the '90s...you know, Jean-Pierre Lafitte?"

"Um, yeah...that was a lame gimmick..."

Jennifer: "Well, um...he's back." W...T...F? I know that we were told that it was important to get TNA alums for WWE, but come on! X hadn't wrestled there in 3 years and was lame to boot! Did Mr.Ace botch this one, did Sophie make a miss, and how much better am I going to look for it?

"Yikes..."

(55)

YARR! This tag team be a good idea for Paul Burchill, it's givin' him 1 more point of overness!

"...and the match?"

Jennifer: "Well, you take a good tag team, put them against a second-rater from the mid-'90s and a guy who's best in singles, and you see how they do."

"Train wreck?"

"Kind of. The teams don't mix as well...comedy teams don't tend to mesh with serious teams for a good match. Plus, Lafitte and Burchill never wrestled together, so they're not established enough to make it work..."

"I bet."

Jennifer: "MNM's trying, though, and it's watchable. Burchill's fighting back. Lafitte's pulling a sword on Nitro. Melina's trying to interfere...now Burchill's got her and is going to the top rope...WOW!"

"What?"

Jennifer: "Burchill hit that move Styles called the C4 on Melina- that has to be good...MNM hit the Snapshot on Lafitte, though- Burchill's fighting the two...and here comes Kyo Dai..."

"But of course."

Jennifer: "The ref's throwing it out- and now the pirates and ninjas are fighting their way back to the dressing room..."

"Okay. It does lead to the question- and, I've wanted to ask you this since the moment I met you..."

Jennifer: "Aww...that sounds so sweet...what?"

"Well...Ninjas or Pirates- who's cooler?"

Jennifer: "Well, do you even have to ask? Ninjas. Come on- the Turtles...Naruto...a whole bunch of others. It's so obvious- there is nothing cooler in this world than a ninja..."

"Okay..."

MNM d. The Swashbucklers (Paul Burchill/Jean-Pierre Lafitte) by Kyo Dai interference (62, 77, 69)

Jennifer:"And now...this is just weird."

"What?"

Jennifer: "Well...I think I saw a debut, but I'm not sure. All I saw was a few strong bass beats and then it stopped, with a "HE WILL RETURN..." afterwards..."

"Sounds weird."

Jennifer: "I know...I do want to know who it is though..."

"Come on, it's the WWE. Most likely, it'd be someone like Warrior or something like that."

Jennifer: "...don't even joke like that."

"Sorry..."

Mystery Video for new debut (79)

"Next match?"

Jennifer: "This...is going to be good. Chavo and Classic up against Carlito and Masters. Get your belts up..."

"Oh yeah. Gentlemen, start your ass-whuppings!"

Jennifer: "It's so good to see it, you forget that Chris Masters and a man in his 50's are in the matchup."

"I know...so, is it any good?"

Jennifer: "It's pretty standard. Chavo's doing most of the work, and it's a pretty decent 'WWE tag match as a result.' Carlito and Masters are just beating away at him..."

"I see."

Jennifer: "Chavo's going for this stuff...normal..now Masters has got him where he wants him. Chris Masters is locking in the Masterlock, and he's doing it close to Chavo's corner. He's taunting Classic for this, and Classic is getting up on the ropes...and...YES!"

"What?"

"Chavo Classic was able to slap Chavo's arm while he was in the Masterlock before he tapped! Now Classic's coming in...he takes off his belt...and now, prepare to watch Chavo Classic whup Carlito and Chris Masters's asses with a belt! Classic covers while choking Masters out with the belt...and they get the win. Nice..."

"I bet..."

Los Guerreros II (Chavo/Chavo Classic) d. Carlito and Chris Masters (69, 74, 71)

Jennifer: "The next match seems to be pretty straightforward. Kane is coming down to the ring with the title and trying to find some more opponents worth his time, and...What the fuck?"

"...um,what?"

Jennifer: "They're giving a title shot to the Headbangers. Like...both of them."

"Yeesh- who ordered the squash?"

Jennifer: "I know. This is just...it's just vicious. It does work, though- I mean, Kane is getting to look really dominant for it...and here comes the double-chokeslam, match over...

"Not bad, then. Anything to make the champ look like a monster is always a good thing, I guess..."

Jennifer: "Yeah..."

(WWE World) Kane d. Chaz and Glen Ruth in a handicap match (60, 73, 66)

"So...what's the next match?"

Jennifer:"Ooh...EEE! It's Michaels...Shawny is my bishy..."

"Um...weren't you the one just talking about icky old guys?"

Jennifer: "Quiet, you- Michaels will never age..."

"Yes, The Heartbreak Kid certainly is a MALE PROSTITUTE for the ages..."

Jennifer: "You still believe that's his gimmick? I mean, come on...that's nowhere near HBK's gimmick. Plus, he's now all about the God..."

"Oh. So he's an aging, Jesus-worshipping male prostitute. My mistake..."

Jennifer: "Exactly. Big Show's his opponent...not too bad, but they need to break some new guys into the Raw main event, you know?"

"Well, I heard the draft's coming up- that should shake things up..."

Jennifer: "Yeah, I guess. The match...well, it's surprisingly watchable. Big Show's being the monster, Michaels is taking it. It works..."

"I bet."

Jennifer: "Big Show's fighting back...and now Michaels is Jesusing-up...Sweet...Torso Music, I guess...Michaels gets the win. Strange..."

"Not totally- I mean, Michaels is seen as on Big Show's level, it works..."

Jennifer: "I guess..."

Shawn Michaels d. Big Show (89, 76, 85)

Jennifer: "Main event's coming up...EEE! Triple H...he's so dreamy..."

"Um...yeah..."

Jennifer: "Shut it. You icky smarks are always hating on The Game. He's so awesome..."

"Awesome...because he is a good wrestler, or awesome...because you want to fuck him?"

Jennifer: "No comment...OOH! Cena...this'll be hot..."

"Yeesh..." Sometimes, I hate getting fangirls as my in for the shows...is the match even watchable?"

Jennifer: "It's Cena-Triple H. What do you expect?"

"Um...no?"

Jennifer: "...dork..."

"Well, I don't see the great stuff in either one in the ring- what can I say?"

Jennifer: "I see, but this match is actually decent. The announcers are saying it's for Number one contender..."

"So...Cena's winning?"

Jennifer: "Oh yeah. Triple H is taking the advantage, though. He's getting him set up for the Pedigree...whoa!"

"Yes?"

Jennifer: "Cena managed to reverse the Pedigree successfully into the F-U! Nice...and Cena gets the win. Cena's celebrating- Kane's attacking...whatever. Show's over."

"Okay. Thanks..."

Jennifer: "No problem- it was nice talking to you..." I hung up the phone as I headed backstage.

John Cena d. Triple H to become number one contender (95, 88, 92)

Over: 73

When I got backstage, I saw Alex, Austin, and Joey huddled over outside a group of wrestlers. The three were yelling "Come on, break it up you guys!"

"Dude...what's going on?"

Alex: "Konnan and Apolo got into an argument after their match, stormed in opposite directions. Then, Konnan was getting ready to leave, when Apolo just headed over and started whaling on him..."

"Cool..." Me and Joey headed through the crowd to see Apolo beating down Konnan. Joey put a reverse chinlock on Apolo to try and subdue him while I helped pull Apolo off of Konnan.

Apolo: "Hey, you got lucky, Konnan! If the official TNA towel boys here weren't getting me, I'd kill your ass, punk!" We brought Apolo over to Alex and Austin as the other wrestlers started to dissipate.

"Hey, guys- you two go keep watch on Konnan. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to jump Apolo in the parking lot for this one..."

Austin: "You've got it." I saw the two leave as Joey headed through...

Joey: "What should I do?"

"Go check in with Dixie about this. Chances are, they'll need to get some discipline coming in on it..."

Joey: "Gotcha. Keep watch on Apolo..." I saw Joey leave.

Apolo: "Why the fuck did you do this, man? Konnan's been keeping me back here since I got into TNA, man! First he doesn't get me booked so he can be the great Latin hero with 3LK, then he DEIGNS to put me in LAX until Homicide jumps ship, and now he makes it so I always look like the fool when he's the conquering hero...well, you two are tight with Carter- tell her that I've had it: Either Konnan goes, or I go!" Excuse me? Did he just say what I think he just said?

"Wait...you're putting up the ultimatum?"

Apolo: "Yeah- I've had it with Konnan's shit!" Oh, this will be all too easy...

"Well, actually...come on. Let's go talk about this. It'll be better if I walk you to your car- this way, there's some backup in case Konnan tries anything..."

Apolo: "You've got it. Let's go, kid..." We headed off to his car as I saw Alex and Austin trying to hold off Konnan...

Alex: "Wow...Raven Guy's heading off with Apolo...he must really be dedicated to keeping the peace here in TNA! Good for him. I'll do my best to keep the peace too..."

Later that night...

Sophie: "Hello?"

"Oh, hey Soph...just calling in to tell you. I've got Apolo coming, he's willing to jump to WWE. Tell Mr.Ace that he should be there at the Smackdown tapings to put in the results, okay?"

Sophie: "Yeah, sure, bye...I'm sure I'll see him soon..."

"Gotcha." The way I figure it- sure, Jennifer might be a little peeved for this: I mean, a new Thug Life member means Homicide will get more play. But then, I realize...I'm a talent relations worker. I get new talent for World Wrestling Entertainment, and really...to thine own self be true...

-www.dubohdub.com

WWE Release Notice, TNA Backstage Fight- Jump Imminent?

-The WWE has just released former NWA World Champion Mike Rapada from his development deal. The release comes on the heels of Rapada reportedly no-showing several promotional dates in Atlanta for Deep South Wrestling, where Rapada was a top contender for the DSW Heavyweight Title. This release was considered shocking by people in the WWE, as the WWE had just started putting Rapada on the house show circuit (with many thinking that he was due to debut for the WWE within the next month.)

-In breaking news in TNA, it was reported last night that the Latin American Exchange members got into a fight offscreen on this. As a result, TNA.com released a statement that they have fired Apolo for his part in starting the fight.

This was originally seen as a logical move following the melee, but many in TNA brass are claiming that this news was actually a face-saving measure by TNA in this situation- a rumor that's gaining more credibility on the Internet today with the reports that Apolo showed up at the Smackdown tapings tonight (though it is unsure whether he has signed a contract...

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

The next night, I decided to stay at the Smackdown tapings and bask in my successes. I mean, I managed to get someone of the caliber I took from WCCW first, then managed to get Apolo the next night from TNA...I was bound to be made again in WWE. I went through...and nothing happened.

"That's strange", I thought, "Usually this would be where I'm applauded." I went through some more and waited. Nothing's still happening.

"Gee, is Apolo that bad a signing?" I thought. Eventually...I headed through to see a crowd...only this time, it Mr.Ace shaking Sophie's hand as the others were lavishing her with the attention. "Dammit", I thought- "I DESERVE this! Love me, dammit! LOVE ME!" In my mind, I knew what to do: namely, go in there, whoop some ass, maybe a Stunner or two on Ace and Sophie, throw the middle fingers up, and head to the top rope and drink some beers. Then, of course, I realized Austin would probably kick my ass afterwards for stealing his gimmick, so instead I waited until they dissipated and headed over to Mr.Ace to see what was up...

Ace: "Ah...so, there's our man of the...last hour! What's going on?"

"I was just wondering what happened here. I mean, isn't this the time where I'm supposed to be lavished with attention and affection for stealing two workers from the opponents?"

Ace: "Oh...this? Well, son- people expect you to work magic right now. Doing this is something we haven't expected. Our little Sophie here just pulled something down big-time here..."

"I...see. But, I just stole Apolo, and then, at the WCCW show, I got you..."

Ace: "Well, kid, no one's doubting the steal you pulled off at WCCW, but...well, Sophie, would you tell him?" Sophie headed over to me...

Sophie: "Sorry, but I just bought out IWA-Mid South and IWS for ECW development feds. Wasn't that expensive, either...rather easy when it's me..."

Hold up...She can DO THAT? Just then, I thought I could see myself crying and pulling Ace's arm, shouting "But Mr.Ace, that's unfair! She's being a meany!" However...

Ace: "Um...why are you pulling my shoulder?"

"Oh- sorry..."

Sophie: "It was really easy to do- you should have tried it. Ian Rotten had seen so many of his guys and gals sign with ECW last time, that he was wondering why. When he asked, he simply said if we're going to steal so many people from him, why not just make his fed an ECW developmental and get it over with? I got Paul to sign the approval, he got Vince to wire him the money, and it's done just like that. IWS was a little harder- Paul wanted to get them onboard, but Vince refused to give them any development bookings until they officially severed their ties with Kurt Lauderdale..."

"Ah, yeah...Vince doesn't really like to hire convicted murderers on his roster unless they once made a jump off a cage or hit someone with a coconut on TV..."

Sophie: "Yeah. Anyway, I worked as the go-between there, and finally managed to make them go for that deal. They did it, WWE put it in...now things will get interesting. So, go me!"

"I see..."

Sophie: "Don't worry. I mean, even if I do become the golden girl here in these companies, I promise I won't have them depush your job for at LEAST...oh, six months after I usurp it?"

"Somehow, that's not reassuring..."

Sophie: "Aww- come on. I'm just messing with you...besides, why would I actively take the job of people who I'm okay with?" Just then, I saw Sophie called by Mr.Ace. "Sorry, gotta go...toodles!" I was still unsure what to think. I decided to go into the staff room and determine what was going on for the show that night...

WWE Smackdown:

Steph: "Okay, let's get this show booked out tonight. Now, the first match we have planned...who do you think we should use?"

Court H. Bauer: "Well, let's start it off with a nice X-Division style matchup to get the fans hooked...how about putting Matt Bentley in for the opener?"

Arn Anderson: "No, come on. We need something that will put one of our stables over for this match. If we put Bentley in, how about we put that Claudio Castagnoli guy in the match with him? That way, we can make The Cabinet look stronger."

Steph: "Sounds like a plan." Steph then turned to me... "These are two of your boys...any ideas?"

"Well, these are two of those guys who can just go out there and put on a good match. You'd probably need some help on both sides: Basham and Smothers helping Castagnoli, while Kendrick and London help Bentley. Of course, the proper move would be for the faces to get caught..."

Michael Hayes: "And then have the referee never notice The Cabinet doing the same thing. It works."

"Yep, but then you'd need to have evil get punished- say, Smothers making a mistake, allowing Castagnoli to walk into a Superkick for the win?"

Steph: "I don't know. That will only work if Bentley gets beaten down in that one- say, have JBL make an appearance for the beatdown?"

"Excellent! Yeah!"

Steph: "Then it's settled. Bentley goes over Castagnoli, but The Cabinet beats him down afterwards...it still feels like it could use something. Putting in JBL seems like it'll need something more. Any ideas...?"

Dean Malenko: "Well, the fans really grew to love Juventud following his Cruiserweight Title run...how about we have The Mexicools come down to the ring, Psychosis and Super Crazy get punished by The Cabinet, but Juventud manages to punk out JBL? It'll lead to a Smackdown match later in the show, too..."

"Um...won't people question why the Mexicools are helping out a member of that little group of Bentley, Kendrick, and London?" Just then...the entire creative team laughed.

Steph: "Don't be silly- fans all still believe every face is friends with every other face, and every heel is friends with every other heel. No one will question it..." I then proceeded to write the results on my copy of the booking sheet:

Matt Bentley d. Claudio Castagnoli, The Cabinet beats Bentley down afterwards (51, 77, 64)

The Cabinet continues their beatdown, only to have The Mexicools run in and attack. Super Crazy and Psychosis get beaten down by The Cabinet, but Juventud Guerrera manages to attack JBL successfully... (73)

John Bradshaw Layfield loses 2 points overness for getting punked out by a E'd-up Michael Jackson lookalike

Matt Bentley gains 1 point overness for looking really, really important

Juventud Guerrera gains 4 points overness because THE JUICE IS LOOSE or something...

Steph: "So, what should our next match be?"

Hayes: "We need to keep the new tag team over. Let's give Cappotelli a singles match to keep him in the game here. Someone we have no plans for- how about Big Vito?"

Ace: "Yeah- it'll be better to get other people over at Vito's expense."

Steph: "So, we're in the viewpoint this should be a squash match?"

Hayes: "But of course. We need to make Cappotelli seem like he's on par with MNM, even if we can't have him against them just yet."

Steph: "So we're establishing this as a squash?"

Ace: "Oh yeah."

Steph: "Fine with me, then...book it."

Matt Cappotelli d. Big Vito (61, 68, 64)

Steph: "Now, our next plan- doing something with the Blue World Order. They're getting over, but I think we need something to make them more credible- any ideas...?"

Ted DiBiase: "...how about giving them a manager?"

Steph: "It can work...but who?"

Pat Patterson: "How about we gives them one of the oneses they used in the ECWs? Like that 7-11 guys...he's a manager..."

Gerald Brisco: "Um...Rob Feinstein? But...he tried to have sex with children..."

Patterson: "...well...if you're goings to go against all the peoples who has sex with childrens, you'll lose a lot of peoples..."

"Um..what about a non...child molestor choice...oh, how about Maria? She'd probably fit in well with the bWo's comedy style..."

Steph: "That sounds more logical- I mean, we did just move her to Smackdown..."

Patterson: "But...I wanted to signs the Rob Feinsteins..."

Ace: "Settle down, Pat...what about the match tonight? It seems logical that a bWo member will need a match to get this over..."

Bauer: "Well, how about giving Nova a match with CM Punk for the Cruiserweight Title? That'll get it through..."

Ace: "It can work...do we need any major booking?"

"I don't think so- Punk and Nova are two of those workers who you can just put out there and they'll have a good match. However, I do think there should be one point in booking..."

Steph: "Explain..."

"Well, we've booked Maria as a total ditz, and she's managing a comedy stable. It'd be a weakness to the character for her to work smart from the beginning- shall we have Maria cost Nova the matchup from botched interference?"

Ace: "This is why he's MY protege, guys!"

Patterson: "...oh, sure...his proteges gets on the creative teams, but you won't allow me Sylvans on the creative teams?"

Steph: "We went over this before, Pat..."

CM Punk d. Nova by botched interference by Maria to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Title (71, 92, 81)

Bauer: "Honestly, all this stuff with Pat's making me need some women right now...how about we put in a brief thing for the men?"

Patterson: "Oh, you knows you likes it, Courts..."

Bauer: "Please, Steph, get the icky man away from me..."

Brisco: "Well, I could see something there. A catfight may be a nice change of pace..." Just then, for no apparent reason, Joey Styles walked into the room...

Styles: "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHTTTT! Hey...I'm not supposed to be in this meeting...I'm not even supposed to be on this show? What's going on here?" Just then, Styles blipped off into the nothingness until Raw because this is a Reflecto diary and those things just happen.

"Well, if you're going to put on a catfight, it should have some semblence of a reason..."

Hayes: "How about we have it between Shamrock and Melina? They need something to do, and it just might help the MNM/Thrillseekers feud..."

Steph: "Sounds good- book it. But who should get the advantage?"

Ace: "Well, Melina, of course- can't she actually wrestle..."

Steph: "zipit..."

Ace: "...but if we're going for these, the one who should win is the one who can actually..."

Steph: "...zipit..."

Catfight occurs between Ryan Shamrock and Melina (78)

Ryan Shamrock gains 1 point overness because it was nice to look at

Melina gains 1 point overness for proving she kind of...sort of...can wrestle...

Ace: "Well, if this is the way for this, then it should be obvious MNM can't have Melina out there for their matchup. It makes more sense that way- claim it so that Ryan Shamrock caused her to miss the match?"

Steph: "Sounds good. Now, for their generic jobbers- who should get the nod?"

DiBiase: "Well, London and Spanky have been doing some good work- let's give them a chance to see what they can do..."

Ace: "I like it. Besides, it's not like they'll actually win, anyways..."

Steph: "Sounds good. MNM beat London and Spanky- any ideas for the match?"

Malenko: "Well, London and Spanky can walk right in and have a good match, and MNM have really taken hold as a tag team- just let them wrestle."

"Well, if you need a big spot...how about we make it that since Melina wasn't there in the match, it was easier for Matt Cappotelli to come in and attack MNM after the match? You know- really sell that Melina's important to the team's success..."

Steph: "Sounds excellent. We are trying to get her over- I'll run with it. Any ideas?"

MNM d. London and Spanky to retain the World Tag Team titles, Matt Cappotelli interferes afterwards (67, 87, 77)

Hayes: "We can probably use one of those throwaway matches around this time- just something to keep the fans rocking. Come on, people- throw out any two midcarders, and we'll have them fight...now!"

Malenko: "Kid Kash!"

Brisco: "D'Lo Brown!"

Hayes: "Okay- Kash versus D'Lo it is. Anybody have any plans for either of them?"

Ace: "Well, we do have Trinity doing a dark match tonight, and she had experience alongside Kash- why not put those two together and have him get the win by her interference?"

Patterson: "But...Stephanies told me she was booking the Trinitys to be the woman Orlando Jordans ditches so he can make love to men on screen..."

Brisco: "Oh, come on...Orlando Jordan as a bisexual guy- who the hell would want to see that on WWE TV?"

Steph: "Well, I think this plan might work better. Have Trinity and Kash work together, that can probably do some more good for us. Go with it..."

Kid Kash d. D'Lo Brown by Trinity interference (72, 80, 76)

Steph: "Well, we should probably build up the main event tonight- I'm thinking something to build the Rey/Orton feud..."

Hayes: "How about a 6-man match?"

Steph: "Sounds workable to me- but who will Orton's teammates be?"

DiBiase: "Why not add Kennedy and Low-Ki to Orton's team? That way, we can put Lashley on Rey's team, see how Kennedy and Lashley can do in main events, and help out a bit."

Steph: "Sounds good to me- but who'd be the third man on Rey's team? Lashley's a lone wolf right now..."

"Well, I had been playing e-mail tag with James Gibson a little bit, and he's told me that he's really wanted to work some matches with Low-Ki since we signed him- he thinks they could put on a really good show. I think that since Low-Ki's not that over and he really caught fire with his Cruiserweight title reign that we could probably give Gibson that third spot in the match and the fans won't shit on it..."

Malenko: "I agree- James Gibson's really catching on with the fans, and he does deserve a chance to see if he can thrive in the main event picture here. I could see him possibly being a crossover star, myself..."

Steph: "Well, I still think we should get a bigger name in there..."

Ace: "To be fair, Ken Kennedy and Low-Ki are still not exactly huge names either. Putting another huge star on the face side would make it look uneven..."

Steph: "I guess...okay. If you two are really willing to go to bat for James Gibson in the main event, I'll give it a try tonight- but if it fails, it's on your heads, you hear me?"

Malenko: "Loud and clear, ma'am..."

"Understood..."

Rey Mysterio heads backstage, where he makes a beeline for Randy Orton. Just then, Ken Kennedy and Low-Ki attack him, only to have Lashley and James Gibson run in to stop the attack (88)

Ken Kennedy...KENNEDY...gains one point of overness...OVERNESS!

Low-Ki gains 1 point overness because fans love to see him kick the shit out of people...

Ace: "And now for the biggest part of the show- the main eventers' stuff. Ah, I love this type of thing..." Ah, yes. Now's usually the point in the meetings where I shut my pie-hole: Call me crazy, but I get more of a thrill from helping develop the undercard guys into main eventers than I would from the pre-existing main eventers themselves. I just sat and watched as the others made their plans. I heard them talking about how Booker T was finally ready to start his major push for a title, getting him in line to challenge the winner of the feud between Rey and Orton- and how they planned to do it by having Sharmell interfere to give him a win over Batista. Honestly, I was a little puzzled by that nature- I mean, if you were going to give Booker T a push like that, why not give him a clean win over Batista? It seems like it'd be the more logical mode of contention. *sigh* It's times like this when I wonder the intelligence of the people in charge here... I sat back, began to drift off into a daydream...only to be hit on the shoulder by Mr.Ace...

Ace: "Um, kid...? I might need your help here...follow my lead..."

Booker T d. Batista by Sharmell Sullivan interference (83, 68, 78)

"Uh...what's the next match we have planned?"

Steph: "Well, Johnny thinks it's a good idea for us to put Juventud Guerrera over JBL tonight...Johnny, why do you really think this should occur?"

Ace: "I'm telling you, Steph, and your father is bound to agree with me- Juventud's red-hot right now. He might be the next hope for a great Rey Mysterio-esque crossover superstar: He's got some decent-enough charisma, he's a great wrestler, and he's well-known enough so that I honestly think we could have a chance of catching lightning in a bottle a second time. Add that to the fact that the Hispanic audience has been rising in recent years, and as such adding more Hispanic faces to the main event scene will be a wise move for us. The fans have basically already turned the Mexicools face, and in my opinion, all Juventud needs is one big win against a top heavyweight to be seen as a major player on Smackdown for years to come. With the fact we're booking him to punk out JBL tonight, I think that if we give him a big victory tonight, he'll be made in the heavyweight division."

Steph: "I see. Well, Dean- you've wrestled him before, do you agree with this viewpoint?"

Dean: "Oh, yeah. Workrate-wise, he's got all the tools to be a big name in the division. The only thing I'd say is that he might be too much of a headcase to pin all our hopes on, but hey- I'd say he might be worthy of a shot..."

Steph: "And what about your little protege, Johnny? I know that since he's been here, the plans they've had have led to some good cruiserweight matches- does he think this is a good idea?" I then spoke up...

"Well...while putting Juventud over is a good idea, I do have to ask- why make it a totally clean loss? I've seen how fans react to him- he's already there enough. In addition, I don't think we've done a lot with this bubbling JBL-Undertaker feud. Because of that, it'd probably be best to have Juventud win, but by Undertaker interference instead of putting him over JBL clean. Doing it that way just looks like something a total Internet smark would do in crappy fantasy booking or an EWR diary..."

Steph: "Um...okay. That seems more reasonable, and to be honest, I think John would be more willing to do this if we came to him with that scenario than if we asked him to job to Juvi with no buildup: I mean, he deserves that much, at least. I'll go through with putting Juventud over, but only in this form..."

Ace: "Fine by me..."

Dean: "Seems decent- maybe it'll tone down this stuff rather than give Juvi a clean win..."

Juventud Guerrera d. JBL by The Undertaker interference (86, 76, 82)

Steph: "So, any ideas for the main event?"

Bauer: "I think if we build to three big parts of the match- Gibson/Low-Ki, then Kennedy/Lashley, and finally Orton/Rey at the end, we'll be at our best. Give the first two their chance to wow us, build up the other two feuds...?"

Ace: "It seems logical. How should we book it, though?"

Hayes: "Well, just let the first two wrestle- get them into it with the good work. Then, you build into the second, and have Lashley dominate Kennedy. Finally, go in for the main course, and have Orton dominate Rey. It'll be perfect...

Malenko: "But, aren't we worried that Rey will look too weak if it happens this way?"

"Considering how small Rey is, that might be a good thing- Rey will get over best if he's playing the underdog."

DiBiase: "It's simple booking for cruiserweights, Dean..."

Steph: "I like that plan. So- Orton should go over?"

Brisco: "Oh, yeah. The more dominant Orton looks, the more fans will get behind Rey to finally clobber him. Simple booking."

Steph: "Okay- I'm rolling with it then. Meeting adjourned..."

Randy Orton, Ken Kennedy, and Low-Ki d. Rey Mysterio, Lashley, and James Gibson (77, 80, 78)

Over: 74

As I left the meeting and prepared to go off and watch the show, I saw Sophie head over to me...

Sophie: "So, how was the meeting?"

"It was the same as normal- I mean, you must have had these things over in ECW..."

Sophie: "Not too much- Heyman focuses on a lot of the booking himself. All we do are script out promos and come up with gimmicks..."

"Yeah...and steal other promotions for personal gain..."

Sophie: "Oh, I see...You're JEALOUS, aren'tcha?"

"What are you talking about?"

Sophie: "You're just jealous that you're not the little fair-haired boy in WWE after you made that steal- great move, I might add..."

"Well, of course- it was one of MY steals..."

Sophie: "Just face facts- you know my moves were bigger than yours..."

"Well, maybe, but come on- you know that I do more of these things, I do them often, and I do moves that have immediate impacts on both WWE and our top rivals, while you can only get these unknown guys that need ECW exposure to be remotely usable in World Wres..." Just then, my mouth was shut by Sophie kissing me as I was shocked. After a short bit, Sophie broke the kiss and ran off...

Sophie: "*tee hee* See you next week, rookie..." She left as I was left to wonder what had just occurred...

-www.dubohdub.com

-WWE releases developmental talent

WWE has released Russ McCullough. Officials were reportedly unhappy with the worker's matches following being sent up to house shows, and McCullough reportedly chose to leave the company rather than accept a demotion back down to the development territories.

[Draevyn]

Hahaha, Patterson's rampant homosexual tendencies had me laughing my ass off, specially the comment about Feinstein. As far as the booking goes, it reminds me of Quasar and Dukes's WWE diary in that, it really seems to be so random that I just can't get into it. The backstage stuff is funny, and keeps me interested but when it comes to the rest of the diary....ya lost me man.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That Monday, it was hard for me to get back into the normal swing of things. The entire trip down to Orlando, I couldn't stop thinking about how Sophie had kissed me at the Smackdown tapings. I know it seems a little weird (especially when I've had a fairly decent string of ladies since coming to TNA), but it gets weird. I had had more attractive girls than Sophie, but those were all just because I got them jobs with WWE, got them jobs at the old federation, or the like. To tell the truth, Jennifer was pretty much the only girl before that who liked me for me- but since seeing Sophie, she kept leaving my mind as close as possible (harder when my mind told me how the two of them actually looked fairly similar, when it all came down to it.) Was this really something different...? Did I actually like Sophie? I must have been thinking for a little while, because I heard Joey snap me out of it...

Joey: "What's the problem?"

"Oh, just thinking on this one thing I read on a forum- basically, they said that everyone in wrestling could be connected to Hulk Hogan. I was just trying to connect all our friends to him, you know?"

Joey: "Oh, come on. Too easy, man...like, take our fellow defenders of justice. Val manages Austin and Alex, so she's connected as a result to them. Austin feuds with Alex in ROH and teams with him here- he's connected automatically. From there, Alex teams with Abyss in The Embassy in ROH, Abyss has feuded with Raven in TNA, Raven lost the US Title to Goldberg, and Goldberg beat Hogan. Too easy..."

"I see. Now, the only question...what about us? Could we possibly be connected in this way?"

Joey: "Well, duh- we're friends with those guys, so we get one extra connection. Cool, huh?" I guess...personally, I prefer the "I am employed by Vince McMahon, who fought Hogan" way to get to him, but hey- whatever way is good, right?

"Yeah. It kind of is, really."

Joey: "So use this! Let the Hulkamania that is imbued inside you from the connections we have come forth as we protect TNA from the invaders! JUST YOU WAIT, MOLE, I'M GONNA BRING YOU TO JUSTICE!"

"YEAH! UP THE REVOLUTION!" We finally headed to the show as I headed through to see the other three.

Val: "Guys, you made it! Listen- I think the best plan of attack is to have a regular worker in the stands as well. I'm thinking- have me and Joey go in the stands..." I saw Joey blush when he heard that as Val continued unabated. "...while you keep watch back here, okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll head over to the TV..."

Austin: "Um...that just sounds like you're going to slack off..."

"No, it's different. You see- if the mole comes back here, right, he'll probably be interested in seeing what is going on in the WWE tonight. So I figure, if I stay here and watch Raw, then the mole will be lured out and come see what's going on. Simple, right?" Oh crap...they heard me want to watch Raw. I've blown my cover- they would have to know I was the mole. I saw Alex open his mouth and yell out...

Alex: "Now wait just a goddamn minute here...That makes more sense than anything anyone has ever said! Good plan, Raven Guy!" Holy crap, he bought it. I saw the others get in their positions as I proceeded to turn on Raw and watch...

WWE Raw:

As Monday Night Raw started, "No Chance In Hell" hit as Vince McMahon came down to the ring to a chorus of boos...

Styles: "And Monday Night Raw starts off this week with Mr.McMahon coming down to address the fans."

Coach: "You know, Joey- you may not know it from being the new guy, but I think any WWE fan knows that when Mr.McMahon enters a WWE ring, business is about to pick up!"

King: "That's right, Coach- let's hear what he has to say!" Vince McMahon took the mic...

McMahon: "People, I have an announcement that's going to change the face of World Wrestling Entertainment. However, before I do this...I can't do it alone. First, I'd like to call the man behind Raw to me..." Just then, Dusty Rhodes's theme hit as Rhodes came down to the ring and headed alongside McMahon...

Rhodes: "THANKEEW, MITHTA MAC-MAN- BUT WHAT HAVE DA 'MERICAN DWEEM, DUTHARODE, DONE TO ANGER YEW?"

McMahon: "No need to worry, Mr.Rhodes- I just need to call out the other man who I need to speak to...I give you, Smackdown general manager Theodore Long!" Long's music then hit as Long came down to the ring and joined them...

Styles: "Wait a minute...Theodore Long's the Smackdown General Manager...this has to be something good!"

Long: "Well, hello there, playa...what can I do you for, Mr.McMahon?"

McMahon: "No need for the pleasantries, Mr.Long...I called both of you out here tonight because I have been thinking on things. Now, I'm a busy man, as both of you know. I have to run World Wrestling Entertainment, make sure everything goes right- I don't get much time to relax. However, when I finally managed to get through on the Internet, I happened to see something that surprised me. Apparently, I feel you two made a trade of some kind..."

Long: "I'm sorry, playa...Mr.Rhodes is too new at the job, and he called me up and said he wanted Stacy Keibler- I knew trades were not allowed, playa, but he made such a good offer..."

McMahon: "So...Dusty was behind this? Well, Dusty, I just have to say..." McMahon looked at Rhodes: "Good show. I like the way you think. I wanted to tell you two that as of July 1, 2006- I'm officially legalizing year-round trades between Raw and Smackdown!"

King: "WHOA! Trades will be legal year-round? This is insane!"

Long: "Now, come on, playa...wait just one minute here. Why isn't this an immediate thing, playa?"

McMahon: "Now, come on, Mr.Long. You've been the General Manager of Smackdown for two years now, and it comes off a stint on Raw...I'm sure you know what this time of year is in the WWE..."

Long: "Oh...OH, I see,playa..."

McMahon: "That's right, I'm out here to announce that tonight, the Draft Lottery starts up again in the WWE! Now, this year is going to be a little different than most years that the Draft Lottery has gone on for. Specifically, I have made three changes. For starters, this year the draft will have nine rounds to it, with each general manager making one pick on their opponent's show and both GMs making a pick at June's Pay-Per-View and Judgement Day this Sunday. That is the first move. The second move...this is one both of our GMs will like. You see, I have faith in both of your abilities to run a show- otherwise, I wouldn't have you as my GMs. In addition to that, I know both of you want to make sure your show is the best...also otherwise, you wouldn't be my GMs. And that is why, this year I will give both of you one extra bonus. You see, during the course of this draft, I will give each of you one "lottery-free" draft round, to use whenever you want to...or not at all, if you so desire. In short, this means that at one time during the draft, Theodore Long can call me up and say 'Vince, I don't want to draft this week- instead, I want this guy from Raw to be on Smackdown from now on!' or vice versa, and for one week out of the draft, I will make it happen!" Rhodes and Long looked at each other until Vince took the mic again. "...oh, don't get untrusting, boys...there is one catch to that rule. You see, if you choose to make that move during the draft, I will allow it...but at a price: Not only will you forfeit your regular draft pick for that week, but as a supplemental fee for that worker, the opposing General Manager will receive THREE extra picks from your roster that week, all of which are completely luck of the draw!"

Styles: "Whoa! That could potentially mean that one of the GMs could get one main eventer free of charge from their opponent...only to lose three main eventers in exchange for them!"

Both Rhodes and Long looked a little angry...

Rhodes: "THAT THEEMTH UNFAIR, IF YOU WEEL, MITHTA MACMAN! HOW DO AH KNOW HE WON'T THTEAL MY CHAMPEENS AND LEAVE ME OUT IN THE COLD?"

Long: "The same goes for me, playa...I don't want Dusty here to steal all my top playas, b'lee dat!"

McMahon: "I see. Well, then you both will be interested in the third change. You see, last year, I saw the potential problems that the draft had for Smackdown. After all, Mr.Long- you remember last year- John Cena was the first draft choice while he was your champion, and Smackdown was left twisting in the wind until they got the luck of the draw to bring Batista over- but it could have just as easily came to pass that Raw would have two World championships on its show and Smackdown would have none. That's why I've come to add checks and balances to the draft. You see- in addition to the fact that all workers who go over in the draft are protected from being drafted again, I am going to allow both general managers to protect three workers. Those three workers will be taken out of the lottery ball for their show so they cannot be drafted by a stroke of luck, and I will move it so that the other general manager can only use the non-lottery pick to draft one of those three if they give up SEVEN extra picks, including one of the seven being one of their own protected people!" The two GMs nodded at each other and each shook one of Vince's hands.

McMahon: "Okay, then, gentlemen. Now, since the draft starts tonight, I would like to ask you both to make your choices of who will be protected."

Rhodes: "OKAY, Mithta Mac-Man. My firtht choithe ith the only perthon that Raw cannot affowd to lose, IF YOU WEEL...ah choose, The WWE Heavyweight Champeen, Kane! Mah thecond choithe, ith the perthon who wath the motht rethent champeen- John THEENA! And tha third chothe, IF YOU WEEL, ith the greatetht wrethler in tha world today, and we're keeping him on Raw...Triple H!"

McMahon: "Okay, then. Now, Mr.Long- your picks?"

Long: "Well, playa- I remember that time you talked about last year for Smackdown- that was hard for us, b'lee dat. That's why, my first two choices are the World Heavyweight Champion, Randy Orton, and the reigning United States Champion, Ken Kennedy. My third choice will be someone who's been a lynchpin for Smackdown since we've been on our own, b'lee dat- Rey Mysterio!"

McMahon: "Okay. Your picks have been noted. Prepare- the draft is starting tonight!"

(88)

After the promo, the scene cut to backstage, where Cade and Murdoch were sitting back and relaxing as only they can...

Cade: "Man, Trevor...this was a perfect idea that you had...you don't know how long I've wanted to do this with you..."

Murdoch: "Ah know, Lance- this has been something I've been dreaming of since we first paired up..." Murdoch then went down to his lap, and pulled out two spoons and a Snack Pack. "Now, shall we...?" Cade and Murdoch each took a spoon and a package of pudding and began to eat...

Cade: "mmm...Trevor, this pudding tastes delicious..."

Murdoch: "I know, Lance, I know..." The two kept eating...until Gene Snitsky showed up onscreen...

Snitsky: "That pudding...looks delicious..."

Cade: "Well, Slappy, it's not so much the pudding, as the one you're sharing it with..." Cade and Murdoch made eyes at each other as Snitsky looked at the two...

Snitsky: "Will you...share some pudding with me?" Cade and Murdoch looked at each other as Murdoch started talking...

Murdoch: "Sorry, boy, but this here's a private party- we ain't sharing our pudding with you or any other man!" Snitsky looked at Murdoch- then proceeded to attack him as Cade attempted to pull him off of Murdoch. Murdoch then got up and said...

Murdoch: "This ain't over, boy! I'll see you in the ring! YOU DON'T TRY TO SEPARATE A COWBOY FROM HIS PUDDING!"

Trevor Murdoch v. Gene Snitsky

Well, this was actually a surprisingly decent match. Considering that both workers are brawlers with decent enough comic timing, the match managed to mix vicious assaults with some generally funny stuff. The more memorable spots were the blatant comedy ones (Murdoch hitting a Bronco Buster on Snitsky, Snitsky getting Murdoch in a Spinning Toe Hold- then licking at Murdoch's feet), it shows where the major stuff was. The ending was also predictable to boot, as Lance Cade came down to the ring and hit a Stroke on Snitsky (which only got a 1 count after Murdoch covered him), but the damage was done- Murdoch then went up for a Top Rope Bulldog which managed to get the job done afterwards. After the match, Cade and Murdoch celebrated...well, as only they could...

(59, 75, 67)

HOO-WEE! Trevor Murdoch done gained 1 point of overness, believe you me!

After the break, Carlito and Eduardo came down to the ring and took the mic...

Carlito: "Hello, all you people out there. Now, this is a decent match for us. You see, me and my brother Eduardo here are coming to try and help out these two Havana Pitbulls...or something, you know. Now, I have seen their work. And yes, they, like us, seem to be two proud people from the islands. And yes, they appear to be two very good wrestlers. But there is one distinct difference between us, you see. Specifically, these two guys...they are NOT COOL. That is why me and Eduardo here, we're going to show them that they can't win in wrestling until they get rid of this gangbanging and thugging, and learn to be Cool, like us. And then, they will know for sure...DASS COOL." Just then, The Havana Pitbulls came out to the ring and attacked the two...

Carlito and Eduardo v. The Havana Pitbulls

Well, this was a worse match than I expected. Considering that the Pitbulls were considered one of the best teams on the indy circuit and, well, Carlito and Eduardo were brothers and a very experienced tag team in Puerto Rico, you kind of expect more. Instead, this match was just shy of decent. I don't know why- it just didn't have it. Maybe a couple more minutes would have helped, but it seemed a little flat. The ending also didn't work, as Apolo headed through the stands and attacked Carlito and Eduardo (apparently, the WWE works quick following firings), causing the referee to call for the DQ. After the match, Apolo, Ricky R., and El Tigre Negro beat the referee down before throwing up a gang sign as the show went to break...

(60, 78, 69)

Homicide v. Eugene

Well, even if it was seemingly thrown together, it was a good match nonetheless. The two managed to put on an awesome match for themselves. Eugene used the finisher-heavy old-school offense, while Homicide matched off seemingly with newer-school finishers. As a result, there was no psychology, but it was fun little spotfest. Eugene tried to take the advantage, but Homicide just brutalized Eugene viciously. A quick Cop Killa later, and Homicide got the victory. After the match, Eugene tried to shake Homicide's hand for the match, but Homicide just smiled and motioned to the back- where the Pitbulls and Apolo came back out and helped him beat down Eugene as road agents rushed the ring to help him. Eventually, Eugene was carted off by paramedics as the show went to break...

(65,88,76)

Homicide got 1 point of overness for beating down Eugene

After the break, Val Venis was in the ring, did his crowd motions, and waited for his opponent. Just then, Rene Dupree's music hit as Dupree came down to the ring to a surprisingly large amount of boos from the fans as Dupree took the mic.

Dupree: "Hello, all you lovely ladies out there! Now, I know that you had to be nervous that you had to deal with a...lesser man to set all your hearts aflutter like this Val Venis character, but fear not, for Rene Dupree is here to turn your frowns upside down! Now, as you will notice, I have it all over this...other man in so many ways- like all great Frenchmen, I know how to TREAT a woman instead of getting her drunk and putting her in some 'adult video'. No, a Rene Dupree 'Night In Paris' is MUCH different than Val Venis's "A Night In Paris"...In addition, while Mr.Venis here is known for his...fake nature, I can assure you that everything you see on Rene Dupree is completely natural, ladies! And now, I come to prove my superiority, by proving I am not just a great lover, but also a great fighter!" Dupree headed into the ring and attacked Venis as the match started.

Rene Dupree v. Val Venis

Okay. Who is this guy, what did he do with Rene Dupree, and why is he getting so damn much heel heat from the crowd? The match was the normal level for Venis (i.e. solid but never spectacular), but Dupree...it may have taken 2 years, but he's finally become the mega-heel WWE needed him to be. Somehow, the years of heel work changed Dupree so that he's actually managed to get somewhat legitimate heel heat instead of the cheap heat he had gathered for too long. Maybe it was almost negating all the French aspects from his character, but whatever it is, it worked. Dupree got the win following a Bonsoir, then posed for the fans as Venis walked back to the ring while taking the mic...

Dupree: "Ah, I win again! Farewell, all my fans- do not cry...I will be here again soon..."

(73,79,76)

During that break, I was watching when I saw Shannon Moore head over to me...

Moore: "So, what's playing on Raw tonight?"

"You know, just the usual stuff..." In my mind, I had the trap. Moore was the first person to come over, so it seemed like a logical step. I had to strike first. "Um, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom...could you tell me what's going on in the next match?"

Moore: "Sure..." I had my opening. I looked around the back. I knew that with matches going on, I couldn't easily get to the crowd. Searching through the backstage area, I finally came up to Alex as he was shining his title belt. "Um, Alex...you might want to alert Dixie..."

Alex: "What's the problem?"

"I...I think I caught him. Shannon Moore just headed into the trap..."

Alex: "You know, it kind of would make sense- he's a recent signing, he's got a lot of connections in WWE...I'll give Dixie the news. Good work...make sure to keep him over there."

"Thanks, man!" I headed back to the television and talked to Moore.

"So, what happened?"

Moore: "Oh, you missed a great match. MNM and Kyo Dai were out there,and they put on an awesome match, dude! Only problem was that ending- those two pirate guys came in and attacked them. These gimmick feuds are pretty lame, huh?"

"Coming from a guy who was once in a boy band, I don't think you can talk..."

Moore: "Hey- that was 6 years ago. Fans aren't supposed to remember that..."

"I see. So, how was it? You'd probably know these things..."

Moore: "Oh, it was easily a (55, 82, 68), no question..." As he was saying this, Theodore Long's music hit on the TV as we saw him come down to the ring and take the mic...

Long: "LEMME HOLLA AT YA PLAYA! Now, due to the format of this draft this year, Smackdown was lucky enough to draw the first pick in each week, and during the break, we got to find the first new person who's goin' to be Thuggin' and Buggin' on Friday nights for this coming year. I have the ball right here, and now, Smackdown would like to announce- the first person chosen is..." Long opened the ball...

Long: "GENE SNITSKY!" Just then, the Tron hit "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" "Toe Lover" then hit as he came down to the ring as Snitsky took the mic...

Snitsky: "I...like to Smack...my TV..." Long and Snitsky shook hands...

(66)

Styles: "Now, let's go to Raw's new interviewer, who's managed to get an exclusive interview with the champ!" Just then, a new guy (recognized by OVW fans as Robbie Dawber) was next to Kane and Stacy Keibler...

Dawber: "Hi...I'm Robbie Dawber..." Just then, Kane proceeded to slap the shit out of Dawber as Stacy Keibler took the mic...

Keibler: "Excuse me...? You're managing to get one of the hottest stars in America right now as well as the reigning WWE Heavyweight Champion, and we have to talk to some fresh-off-the-farm new guy like this? I mean, what do you take us for? Now, if you'll excuse me, 'THE CHAMP IS HERE!', and he has something to say..." Keibler gave the mic to Kane...

Kane: "Stacy...I haven't been so pleased by news in the last few weeks as what I got today. The fact that that washed-up Dusty Rhodes actually managed to fill everything I wanted when he made his protected list tonight was all I wanted. You see, he made it so that not only will I get to stay on Raw, but also John Cena is staying from now on. And this alone means that I can do the one thing I love to do, and that is keep beating Cena to within an inch of his life, and keep doing it every week for the rest of this year until he begs for mercy! Brace yourself Cena- Dusty Rhodes has just guaranteed you one year of hell..."

(90...?)

After the break, Chavo Guerrero came to the ring clasping the Intercontinental Belt (while Chavo Classic followed with a belt of his own). Chavo headed into the ring and posed for the fans...

Styles: "This is a great opportunity for Chavo Guerrero- he's been holding this Intercontinental title just as proudly as his uncle Eddie Guerrero did!"

King: "Yeah, and now he goes against Eddie's biggest rival when he held the belt tonight in Rob Van Dam!"

Coach: "Eddie Guerrero! Eddie Guerrero! Eddie Guerrero!"

Chavo Guerrero v. Rob Van Dam

Well, there's nothing that needed to be said about this match- MOTY-style work inside the ring, fans engrossed in the high-flying action (even if there were too many "EDDIE!" chants instead of "CHAVO!" chants, and a fairly hardfought match as a whole. Chris Masters started to come down to the ring during the match and do commentary as it occurred in your generic feud "commentary" spot- but since he doesn't have that much to say, it didn't change much. RVD took an advantage beforehand. RVD headed to the top rope and tried to do the Five Star Frog Splash, but Chavo Classic wouldn't have that, as he headed to the top rope, pulled RVD off, and began to whup his ass with a belt. Seeing this beatdown, Chavo headed up, did the Eddie taunt, and let loose with a Frog Splash on RVD to get the victory. After the match, Chavo celebrated in the ring. Chavo Classic tried to go in the ring, but Chris Masters headed over from the announce table, grabbed the belt from Chavo Classic, and began to whup his ass with a belt before locking the Masterlock on Chavo Classic. Masters then took the mic...

Masters: "Hey, Chavo! I want my rematch for that title, and either you give it to me or I snap your father's back!"

Chavo: "You want a match for the belt? Well, at Judgement Day- it'll be you and me...AND my father. You beat one of us, the belt's yours..." Masters broke the Masterlock on Classic, grabbed the belt, and whupped Chavo Classic a few more times for good measure as the show went to break...

(76, 95, 85)

Chavo Guerrero gains 1 point of overness by fans of Eddie Guerrero cheering him

Shawn Michaels v. Triple H

I'm shocked. A Michaels/Triple H match that DOESN'T main event its show? Damn, WWE's slipping. The match was, well, enough to get the fans interested, so that's always a plus. Michaels and Triple H also usually put on a great show, so that made it better as a result. It was pretty much a shorter version of the great Michaels/Triple H matches we know of, so it was worth it. Michaels also got the win, which was pretty surprising- but then, with all the matches these two have, who cares in the long run. It leaves you wanting more, and that's all that matters.

(93, 81, 89)

Kane v. John Cena

Well, this was just like what you'd expect: Potential PPV main event on Raw, and it was excellent. This feud's really brought out the best in Kane and Cena's better as the challenger, so this was decent as a result.Kane looked like a dominant monster throughout the match, really helping both roles for this out. Kane took the advantage, and Cena used his selling skills to help it work. Eventually, it was time for Cena to RAP UP, as he began using all his trademark moves. Just as Cena went for the F-U, though, Stacy Keibler headed to the apron and slapped the referee in the face, causing the ref to send her back to the dressing room...and Cena to only get 2 as a result. Cena got pissed and argued with the referee- giving Kane enough time to make him eat Chokeslam for the victory. After the match, Kane proceeded to keep beating Cena down as the show ended...

(96, 83, 92)

Over: 79

After the show, me and Moore were still watching it, until I saw Alex, Austin, Val, and Joey head over to him...

Austin: "WE'VE GOT HIM! You fell into the trap!"

Moore: "What are you talking about?"

Val: "Oh, come on. We had to see it. Young worker, recent WWE firing- good friends with people at the WWE...give it up. We know you're the mole, Shannon..."

Moore: "You...you guys are crazy."

Joey: "Crazy...? Well, what TNA guy would rather watch Monday Night Raw than TNA live matches? Only the mole, that's who!"

Moore: "That's...that's preposterous! I just wanted to see how some old friends were doing..."

Alex: "Yeah- until you see them next week with some TNA guy, because you're the Mole!" Just then, I saw a large amount of TNA workers head over as Joey called out "MY BOY CAUGHT THE MOLE, GUYS!" Austin and Alex held Shannon. A few TNA workers started punching Moore in the stomach and face as I gave myself a hope that they never found this out. Eventually, Dixie Carter came over to the crowd carrying a paper...

Dixie: "So...I guess what Alex said was true. *sigh* I knew we would have been making a bad move to hire you to TNA, Shannon..."

Moore: "But...Ms.Carter...I'm being framed here, honestly! I'm not the mole, I swear!" Carter then took the paper, which I could vaguely recognize as a TNA contract, and tore it into pieces.

Dixie: "Consider yourself fired, Mr.Moore. And if you ever show up at a Total Nonstop Action show again, we will have you arrested for trespassing. Boys...do with this 'Prince of Punk' what you will." I saw the TNA guys come over, and I finally spoke up.

"Excuse me, Ms.Carter, but I think it'll be a bad move to sic the TNA guys on him. This gets out to the Internet, TNA will look like a bunch of thugs- people won't respect the company as much. I think you should keep any attacks this guy gets on the down-low. Let me do it- I'm not an official employee. They won't be able to connect me to TNA if I beat this guy to within an inch of his life."

Dixie: "That's a wise decision. I'll leave him to you, 'Raven Guy'..." I grabbed Shannon from Alex and Austin and headed through the crowd. I saw Joey try to come with me...

Joey: "Wait, dude! Let me come and help you beat this guy down. It'd be an honor to do it for TNA." I turned back to Joey...

"Sorry, man: I have to do this one solo. You've been desperate to become a professional wrestler for all the time I've known you- if it got out to the Internet that you had a role in this, nobody in the world would dare book you. I don't have that same dream of being a star wrestler...I have nothing to lose. I'll give this guy what he has coming to him..."

Joey: "Okay...thanks, man." Joey came over and shook one of my hands as I kept a hold on Shannon with the other, dragging him back to my car. I could hear Alex talking as I left...

Alex: "Wow...Raven Guy's so dedicated to this job that he wouldn't even let his best friend come in and beat down the mole with him. This has to prove one thing- Raven Guy is, like, KING Bad-Ass. Man, I am SO glad he's on our side..." I carried Shannon to the car and put him in the backseat.

Moore: "R..Raven Guy...w-where are you taking me?" I began to drive off as Shannon went through. I decided to do some more dick moves- driving him through the meaner sections of Orlando, a few industrial parts, and finally through some backroads near wilderness. When Shannon looked like he was ready to pee his pants, I lightened up a little.

"Oh, relax, Shannon. I'm not going to do anything to you. I know you've got a lot of friends in WWE- I'm sure you're not the mole. Come on...relax a bit. So, what's been going on?" Me and Shannon got to talking- fairly decent guy, even if he's still a bit scared of you. Eventually, we got close to the city for Smackdown as we kept driving. Shannon then turned to me as we got in the city...

Shannon: "You know, man, you're all right. But I do have to ask. During that whole thing, everyone else was beating me, giving me shit...you're the only person who was there who believed that I was innocent. I have to ask why you trust me so much, Raven Guy..." I was silent for a little bit as I saw the exit for the arena.

"Well, that's simple, Shannon- I know in my heart you're not the WWE's mole..." Just then, we got to the arena where Mr.Ace and Sophie were outside having a cigarette. Mr.Ace pulled out a contract as Shannon blanched...

"...because I AM." I left the car to go see Sophie as Shannon was just frozen in shock, and I have to say- I liked seeing it....

-www.TNAWrestling.Com

TNA releases Shannon Moore

-Total Nonstop Action Wrestling would like to announce we have released Shannon Moore. Now, usually this is the point in time where we are supposed to say "We wish him the Best of Luck in his future endeavors." Well, to be honest this time: We DON'T wish Shannon Moore the best of luck in his future endeavors. We here at Total Nonstop Action wish that Shannon Moore burns in hell. If Shannon Moore wants to be wished the best of luck in his future endeavors, he can get wished them up in New York when he goes to see his old friends Roderick Strong, Matt Bentley, and James Storm. Yeah, our competitor tries to be cordial in releases, but TNA is the new face in wrestling, we're willing to blackball people and we respect our fans enough to come right out and say it: The reason TNA superstars had been jumping to our competitor in recent months is because Shannon Moore was providing World Wrestling Entertainment with a pipeline into our dressing room. Thank you.

-TNAWrestling.Com honors the following people:

TNA would like to give congratulations to NWA Tag Team Champions Generation X, TNA Knockout So Cal Val, and TNA superfans the 'Raven Guys' for their work in catching Shannon Moore as the mole for WWE. TNA chairman Dixie Carter was quoted as saying, "All five of those people will be welcome throughout TNA at any time they want for their help in this view..."

[the wall breaker]

I am really enjoying this diary and it is one of my favourite diaries going around.

Like a few others have said, I think the non wrestling shows are brilliant but the actual Raw and Smackdown just seem like a totally seperate part.

But anyway, I still read it.

I also like how you make Alex Shelley seem like a real dumbass.

Keep up the good work. (Y)

[ClaRK! Kent]

No! Not Shannon! You fucker!

Another good update, 'Flec, although I'm beginning to agree with Enforcer about the random, weird nature of your shows. Mind you, compared to wOw, it's positively normal...

The backstage stuff is ticking along nicely, and hopefully you'll have managed to keep the TNA guys away from you with that move on Moore. Making Shelley out to be a dumbass gets you a small frown, though.

*frowns*

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That night, I was a little relaxed as I went through. I saw Mr. Ace standing by, ready to give me the proper congratulations for getting WWE back one of the Velocity jobbers they dropped like a bad habit last year. I thought of the great things that I could expect if I headed over to him and basked in my glow once more. Then, I was nearly struck from that fantasy as I saw Sophie heading towards the ring as it was being set up, and I got a new fantasy- this time of going over, showing I was the alpha dog of the WWE-affiliated employee 'new generation', then proceeding to have her show HER appreciation in the form of allowing me to add "in the center of a large nearly-empty major arena" to my list of All-Time Weirdest Places I Have Ever Had Sex In. This naturally led me to head over there...until I saw a third thing to break me from my fantasies- this one of Shannon Moore walking over to meet up with Matt Hardy before the show. Knowing how Moore was a little worried, my mind went back on track again- specifically, Moore calling up someone at TNA, that person deigning to speak to him after that whole brouhaha, Moore telling them I was the mole and not him...and everything blowing up in my face like so many gag cigars (although without that cool charred look on my face.) I finally headed over to the two of them and tried to put on my best "really amazingly great guy" face...

"Matt! Buddy! Haven't gotten to see you in a little while...so, how's the scar? Still a symbol?"

Matt: "Oh...you're that guy who does work for Ace...here to talk about the next plan Ace has to water down my character?"

"Matt...come on, man- I love your work. I don't know why Johnny's so down on it...probably a little jealous, don'tcha think? I tell you- I get more power on the booking team, and you are going right to the moon here- I swear!"

Matt: "I...see. Well, have you met my friend Shannon here?" Just then, Shannon shot me a dirty look...

Shannon: "...yeah...we've met..."

"Shannon, buddy...come on, now. Here I get you back in the WWE, the biggest wrestling company in the world, and you're this cold to me? I mean, honestly- I did you a favor. You know they would have never brought you back if it wasn't for me working my magic..."

Shannon: "Let me see- what magic is that, exactly? Spreading the word that I was the mole for the WWE, getting me beaten up, fired and blacklisted from TNA, and then coming to pick me up under cover of protecting me only to get me to sign? Yeah, great magic there..."

"Well, if you're going to be THIS ungrateful to me after I get you this dream slot again, I probably should have left you to job in TNA..."

Shannon: "You're not going to get away with this. Jeff wasn't at the tapings Monday. All I have to do is call up Jeff, tell him this, and he'll be right there to get the message to TNA..."

"I see. Well, come on, you guys. I'll need to level with you Shannon..." I headed off to a more secure place with them, finally ending up in the set they had built up for Theodore Long's office that night.

"Now, Shannon, I'm going to be honest here. You need to think about the facts here. In WWE, you were pretty much a jobber. In fact, we both know in our hearts the only realistic way you could get back on a WWE roster is by me getting you here. Is this correct?"

Shannon: "Well, yeah, kind of..."

"Add that to how you were treated in TNA. There, you were a jobber as well, but look at the facts. Here in WWE, you've got friends, people who know you...doesn't your girlfriend work for us?"

Shannon: "Well, kind of..."

"Exactly. You've got people who like you here. In TNA, they treated you like shit, jobbed you out to it, and you saw the results at the end- they beat the crap out of you, wanted me to go out and leave you for dead- which I didn't, you have to give me that..."

Shannon: "Well, yeah..."

"...in short, they didn't have anything there. They did not respect you. Here, you may not get a chance for respect, but at least you'll make a LOT more money than you would in TNA..."

Shannon: "WWE always does pay well..."

"In addition, think of the facts. Let's say you do call up Jeff and you do out me as the mole. The second you do that, you know you'll be blackballed from the WWE that day for insubordination- and you've never been so high on the card that Vince would eventually give you that second chance. You go back to TNA- they aren't going to trust you since they'll still think you had Jeff Hardy lie to save your ass. You go back there- no one will work with you, and you'd eventually be released as well. WCCW- come on, you know what Bischoff does to people. You'd go to opening match jobber, stay opening match jobber, and probably get a bad boy band gimmick to boot. In all likeliness, you out me as the mole, the way these other federations will treat you will make it so you'll be wrestling on small indie shows for the rest of your career. Face it, Shannon- you're at your best here in the WWE, and I got you here. Just remember that."

Shannon: "I know that..."

"Besides- who is more important to you: The guy who got you out of your contract so you can get paid huge amounts of money to be alongside your friends in the worldwide leader in sports entertainment, or the federation that jobbed you out and treated you like garbage?"

Shannon: "I guess I'd have to be more loyal to you..."

"That's how you do it. So, just go for this one, let it slide, and forget that I was the person who got you back to WWE, okay?"

Shannon: "All right! Thanks, man!" Shannon left the room as Matt Hardy just looked at me...

Matt: "Man...I heard stories about you, but I never believed them until now. You really ARE a piece of work, you know that?"

"What? I've got to protect my cover. Besides, I meant all those things."

Matt: "Yeah, but I heard the whole story too, and in case you forgot, I DO have a brother in TNA..." Crud.

"Yeah, but come on. Everyone knows you've always wanted to be a mega-star in the WWE...you wouldn't go risking being blackballed forever to blow my cover, right?"

Matt: "Wanting to be a mega-star in the WWE? That got me back here last summer, but look at these things. I lost all the respect I had from people on the Internet to come back here. I have to put the guy who stole my girlfriend over huge, then have to watch as he becomes a world champion while I am left jobbing on Smackdown. Face facts, kid...I have nothing to lose anymore. You can threaten Shannon with being blackballed from WWE, but I know the score: If I end up being the person who outed the TNA mole to them, I can be on the TNA roster within three months and immediately get AT LEAST the same push Christian got in TNA. I may never get that push here in the WWE- the only time when I knew I had a hope of it, they watered down the push and left me looking like a chump. So tell me, why shouldn't I call Jeff up now and tell him about you?" I knew Matt had me over the barrel with this one. I had to go back to the lessons I had learned from my father...

<<FLASHBACK>>

Father: "Now, son, pay some attention here. The words I tell you now will do you well for the rest of your life. People...are there to be manipulated. To succeed in life, you have to be able to get as many other people on your side as possible to do all of your dirty work. That's the showing of a good leader. Just remember this: No matter what person you see in the world, they all have at least one thing you can use to get them on your side and get them to follow you blindly, or if it is necessary, they also have at least one thing that you can use to strike and have them by the balls, so they end up doing the same thing anyway. Remember this rule, son: If you know what the other person's triggers are- you can do whatever you want in this world..."

<<BACK TO REALITY>>

I turned to Matt and prepared to give another performance of my life...

"Look, Matt. I'm going to be honest with you here again. I'm a fan of yours- always have been. I honestly think your work is great. Now, you know I'm also on Creative, right?"

Matt: "Yeah."

"You've had problems with Edge getting this bigger push than you did. I know that. However, I know you know of the stuff that happened in March. Edge went down with a Neck Injury- he's going to be out until November. In addition, the WWE's trying a new thing with their injured workers, in that they're trying to keep more turnover: If a worker goes down for a significant amount of time, when they come back they'll come back on the other show- meaning, Edge will be on Smackdown when he comes back from injury."

Matt: "I see..."

"Trust me here. If you play the game and don't tell Jeff about my being the mole, I can PROMISE you that by November 1st when Edge is ready to return, you will be so much higher on the card than both him and Lita that you'll be in the driver's position for the feud next time around."

Matt: "Are you...sure? I don't want to be played for a sucker here..."

"Hey, behind any good staff writer is a mark who had really good ideas. I'm always going to try to look out for the people I mark out for..."

Matt looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, then spoke again...

Matt: "...try to get my brother back here, and you've got a deal."

"Don't worry, man- as soon as I see him at a TNA show again, he'll be spirited away before you know it. Just don't mention anything to him beforehand." I stuck out my hand as Matt shaked it and we left the "office".

Damn, it feels good to know people's buttons...

WWE Smackdown

Dark matches:

Jimmy Jacobs v. Jay Lethal

Pretty decent match, for the most part. It got the crowd into it, at least, which is all you can expect for your dark matches. Jimmy Jacobs got the win with a Contra Code. Early reports say that the road agents were somewhat impressed with both workers... (42,88, 65)

Teddy Hart v. Jonny Storm

Reports said that this was Teddy Hart's last chance with Smackdown following getting angry for them expecting him to go to DSW after a run on dark matches- reports saying that they were planning a new Hart Foundation are unclear at the moment, even though the line was that Nattie Neidhart debuted on OVW TV to save Harry Smith and TJ Wilson last week. If it was Hart's test- well, the test was passed. Good enough to be a possible Match of the Night contender. Hart got the win here. Road agents were supposedly impressed with the match, and it looks as if Teddy Hart will remain on dark matches for a little while longer. (30, 97, 63)

[Jaze]

Well, from a newb point of view, I really enjoy this.....

I dont understand why you post here though. Your focus seems to be writing on the "outside"? There is little to no connections between them.

The whole idea of Vince hiring a whole lotta superstars within a short amount of time is also unrealisticc.

As bad as your diary is, it keeps me hooked cuz of Raven guy's antics. I think you could use a little more connection.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That Sunday, I was blessed with a rare thing in this job- a day to just sit back and be a fan and not a person pretending to be a fan so they can steal their competitors blind. Due to how much I was working, I had asked Mr.Ace if I was supposed to do anything for this one. "No, no, you've done a lot right now", he said. "Sit back- we'll save you a couple mid-level seats at the Pay-Per-View. Take one of those girls you've been scoring with and show them a night on the town...hey, how about that Traci? You two were fairly...volatile..." Just then, my face turned white as I thought of the consequences there... "Okay, maybe not her...but come on- you're bound to have someone who you could take..." This view made it seem somewhat realistic. I thought of asking Sophie, but I knew she was likely to be busy backstage (you know, for someone who's supposed to work for ECW, she's been spending an awful lot of time here at WWE offices...) Knowing she'd be there, I decided to do my next major option of this one. I thought back to Jennifer, and figured I could do two worthwhile activities there- specifically, get more brownie points with her, while also (hopefully) managing to get Sophie jealous (always a rather nice thing to attempt to do, don'tcha think?) I called Jennifer up. Luckily, she was more than happy to go (Oh, I LOVE being this smooth), and so we filed in throughout the fans and headed into the show.

Jennifer: "You know, it's so nice to go to Pay-Per-Views like this with you..."

"Yeah. It's just so much better than to watch it on TV."

Jennifer: "I know. So...who's going to win?" Crud...does she already know I work for WWE?

"Um...how would I know that...heh heh..."

Jennifer: "I dunno- you know a lot about wrestling, you usually are on top of these things...I just thought you'd have an idea on these."

"Oh...I see." We waited through as the shows headed on. Eventually, the show began as we headed through. I saw Dusty and Theodore head out to the ring and was surprised they were starting the show with the draft picks...

Jennifer: "So...why do they do this every year?"

"Well, they need to freshen up each roster, so it's kind of necessary to do it..."

Jennifer: "...but they trade so many people it's like the roster stays the same, and they almost never elevate people with it..."

"Well, let's just listen..."

WWE Judgement Day:

In the ring, the Raw and Smackdown GMs were in front of two lottery piles. Each GM had a mic as the show started...

Long: "LEMME HOLLA AT YA, PLAYA! Welcome to WWE Judgement Day, which I am happy to remind you is a Smackdown-production, so you know it's good, b'lee dat! Now, me and my esteemed colleague here, Dusty Rhodes, we're gonna be Thuggin' and Buggin' with our second draft choices right here now- get this thang out of the way like we do, b'lee dat playa! Now, Dusty, since this is my show...I'm gonna break the tradition and let you make the first pick..."

Dusty headed into the Smackdown lottery pile and made his choice...

Rhodes: "OH, BOY! THIS HERE GONNA BE A HUGE COUP FOR DA 'MERICAN DWEEM, DUTHARODE! THE SECOND PICK IN THE DRAFT WILL BE...WILLIAM REGAL!" Long looked a little disappointed as he made his way to the Raw lottery pile...

Long: "Okay, okay, playa- I deserved that. Well, just get yo'self ready, because I am sure the next person to be Thuggin' and Buggin' right here on Smackdown will be just as good...let us just see some good stuff!" Long pulled out a ball... "And the next Smackdown superstar is...Matt Striker...? Wait a minute...does he even still wrestle on Raw, playa? I want a re-do, playa!" Long looked somewhat pissed off as the segment ended...

(73)

Chavo and Chavo Classic v. Chris Masters

Jennifer: "Ooh...this should be good. Chavo and Chavo Classic are going to beat down that punk Masters...OH YEAH! Does Chavo have a belt of his own for this?"

"It looks like it..."

Jennifer: "Excellent. Two belts. No waiting- now we can really watch some fun. Masters's ass doesn't know what it has coming to it..."

"Yeah. Though, to be fair, Masters has been improving recently..."

Jennifer: "Oh, come on. He's still...icky...I wouldn't kick him out of bed, but I would hate myself in the morning and probably claim he raped me..."

"I see..."

Jennifer: "Oh, come on...you know I wouldn't do that to YOU...most likely...as long as you keep buying me pretty and expensive things..."

"Can't watch, Classic's playing Ricky Morton here. Masters is really dominating him..."

Jennifer: "Wait...you're more interested in a young, well-built guy dominating a middle-aged Latino man in the ring than little old me? I KNEW you were gay..."

"It's not that- it's just that ONE of us has to pay attention to the matches...OH YEAH. HOT TAG to Chavo, and they have their belts..."

Jennifer: "OOH! WHUP HIS ASS! Give him a War Hell Ride!"

"They're whupping on him, and the match is over...the good guy retains..."

Jennifer: "Excellent. Chavo's such a good wrestler...he deserves a good reign with the IC title..."

(67, 73, 70)

WWE Cruiserweight Title 20-Man Battle Royal:

Jennifer: "So...who are all these guys in the ring? I only recognize a few of them..."

"Yeah. WWE wanted to make a Cruiserweight battle royal for the title, but they forgot that they only had a few true cruiserweights, so they promoted a bunch of OVW guys for the match, random tryouts on the indy scene, and the like."

Jennifer: "I see...well, tell me who gets eliminated..."

"Okay...well, the first to go seem to be Nova and Jonny Storm- Storm's this guy from England who can really go, and Nova used to be Simon Dean..."

Jennifer: "Oh...Simon Dean sucked. Good thing he went out first."

"Actually, I heard he's been picking up some steam with his gimmick- I'm surprised he was knocked out first. Oh, and there goes Jay Lethal- we saw him at the Wrestlemania Fanfest, remember?"

Jennifer: "Oh, yeah...he was pretty decent there..." And now for the semi-kill...

"Actually, I've known him for a little while...we're pretty tight. Play your cards right, I might get you his autograph..."

Jennifer: "But why would I want the autograph of a jobber?" OUCH...

"Well, there goes Grandmaster Sexay- why'd they hire him again? Too Cool was played out 6 years ago...and now there goes Jimmy Jacobs- I heard he's supposed to be one of the next hot prospects in WWE right now..."

Jennifer: "Oh yeah, I know him- he has a really cool song out right now..."

"Yeah, he's one of my boys too...and now a couple of the Luchadores are gone- bye bye Damien and Abismo Negro..."

Jennifer: "Who...?"

"Hell if I know- I never watched much lucha libre...and there goes another, Halloween if I'm not mistaken."

Jennifer: "I see. Who's that guy who just went?"

"Jody Fleisch- another of the British phenoms they're getting. Honestly, since Burchill hit, WWE's apparently trying to steal FWA blind..."

Jennifer: "Ah! I recognize that guy- Kid Kash, right?"

"Yeah, and Funaki's following him. Pretty quick stuff...and there goes Latin Lover. How he survived this long's beyond me..."

Jennifer: "I see...well, he sounds like a guy I could get behind..."

"It's down to four well-known guys and four newcomers- and there go three of them: Kaz Hayashi- that guy who used to be in WCW, Kaos- some XPW reject, and Cody Hawk- apparently, some dude doing a surfer gimmick...and yet emulating Tony Hawk..."

Jennifer: "Okay...that makes no sense..."

"Yeah...and there goes Daivari..."

Jennifer: "That's good...why did a manager last this long?"

"Hey, Daivari can actually go in the ring...and now Brian Kendrick has been eliminated. Helms and Punk are looking at each other- now they're fighting their way through to get the upper hand. Now they're at the ropes...wait? That guy...is that Lash LeRoux? He's pushing them both over the top rope...WTF? LeRoux is the champion? Who in the hell booked that?"

Jennifer: "Wait...was that the guy from WCW? Because if so, that could be cool- I liked Lash LeRoux..."

"I see..."

Winner (New Cruiserweight Champion): Lash LeRoux

(59, 59, 58)

"And this should be excellent- I mean, when Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get in the ring, you know you're going to get something good..."

Jennifer: "Yeah, they really always bring the good stuff..." Just as I began to watch the match, however, I was approached by one of my co-workers...

Hardy: "Ah, there you are...I needed to talk to you, man..."

Jennifer: "Ooh, this match is good- why aren't you paying attention...HOMMINAHOMMINAOHMYGODOHMYGODTHAT'SMATTHARDY! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

Hardy: "Ah- a pleasure to meet a fan of mine...so, man, is this one of your friends?"

Jennifer: "Wait a minute...You never told me you knew Matt Hardy! What's the deal with this?"

Hardy: "Well, it's simple, actually...you see, me and him..." Just then, I gave a "cut-throat signal" to Matt... "...um, well, when I was working a few indies last year, he and I got to talking, we became buddies...can I talk to you in private?"

"Sure, man- let's head over somewhere...you're fine watching the match, right?" Just then, I saw Jennifer was firmly in Super-Deformed mode acting like the drooling fangirl she was at heart. Taking the cue, I headed off with Matt...

"You realize you're going to have to give me an autograph to give to her so that she doesn't attack me, right?"

Hardy: "I figured as much...so, why all the problems? Oh, let me guess...you never told her you work for WWE, did you?"

"Nope- I mean, when your job description is as similar as mine is, it's better to keep people in the dark about it, you know?"

Hardy: "I guess...speaking on that, I was wondering- you're saying I'm in line for a push if I keep your secret, but I wasn't on the show today...what's the deal?"

"I know, I know, I've got the push all set for you. It's going to start in one month, and then you'll be pushed to the moon, all right? I promise..."

Hardy: "Okay...you're saying one month for the push to start?"

"Yeah- they had plans for other stuff they need to go through, but it'll start in a month, I swear..."

Hardy: "Okay, then. I'll give you 6 weeks to see this. But I am telling you- if I don't see the push start in 6 weeks...I'm outing you...got me?"

"Yeah, yeah...now come on, make with the peacemaker for her..."

Hardy: "But of course...now, who am I making it out to? And if you say her name is eBay, then I will chop you..."

"Oh, okay. It's Jennifer..."

Hardy: "Excellent. You know, your friend isn't that bad looking, and she seems to be a big fan of mine..."

"Oh, really...maybe I should keep her away from you, then?"

Hardy: "Oh, come on, man...do I look like the type of guy who pays those things forward?"

"I guess..." I took the autograph from Matt and headed back to my seat, then handed the autograph to Jennifer...

Jennifer: "YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE! ThankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouIloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou!"

"Gee...I guess you're happy, then?"

Jennifer: "Well, of course...who else do you know around here?" I gave a small smile...

"Well, tell me how that match was, and I might give you more info on that account..."

Jennifer: "Oh, I wasn't paying as much attention- Super-Deformed Mode really causes you to go all ADD, you know? I think Angle won the match, though...I don't really care! Yippie!"

"I see...if I knew this would make you that happy, I would have had him pass me one for you long ago..."

Jennifer: "Well, duh- I mean, show me a modern female wrestling fan who didn't start out as a Hardyz mark and I'll show you a liar..."

"I guess..."

Kurt Angle d. Chris Benoit (94, 93, 93)

After this, I proceeded to keep watching the show. It was much harder to keep my focus going, considering Jennifer took these autographs to start glomping me. This was a seemingly nice diversion...until I saw Maria come out with the rest of the bWo...oh, crap, they're going with the KissCam again...

(SLIGHT REWIND...)

Meanwhile backstage, Jay Lethal and Jimmy Jacobs were hanging out...

Lethal: "Darn it...this is why I hate working battle royals- they're so short when you're in the ring, and then you're just left to yourself the rest of the night..."

Jacobs: "I know, man- this is so boring! There's nothing to do except watch these matches..."

Lethal: "Well, I assume we can make some fun ourselves...wanna go rib Raven Guy?"

Jacobs: "I thought you'd never ask..." The two headed through the backstage area as Jacobs asked...

Lethal: "Now, just to get things clear- we're not going to do anything to out him- I don't want to be the guy to do him like that, okay?"

Jacobs: "That's fine- besides, there's fun ways to get him on camera without outing him..." Jacobs and Lethal headed through the dressing room, finally seeing the bWo resting up.

Nova: "So, if it isn't the two hotshots in the cruiserweight division- if they pushed you guys out after me, they must have plans for you..."

Lethal: "Well, that was pretty easy, considering you went out first...honestly, who'd you piss off for that move, man?"

Nova: "...I bought Starbucks today, and got Dean a half-decaf mochaccino with extra foam and light caramel instead of light foam and extra caramel..."

Jacobs: "...OUCH. So anyway...is Maria around?"

Richards: "Yeah- she should be out of the dressing room in a second...why?"

Lethal: "Well, we were wondering- you guys are running the KissCam, right?"

Meanie: "Yeah..."

Jacobs: "Well, we were wondering...could you guys fix it so that it ends up on this certain seating arrangement...Section 7, Row G, Seat 42 and 43..."

Richards: "Sure thing, man..."

Lethal: "Excellent...thanks!" Lethal and Jacobs left them be and headed back around...

Jacobs: "He's going to kill us, isn't he?"

Lethal: "Come on...he'll probably thank us after this one- get a kiss from that little chicky he's with- no biggie, right?"

(BACK TO NORMAL)

I waited through this one, until the moment I dreaded...the camera showed me and Jennifer. I got pleased with the moment (or at least made it look like I was), as me and Jennifer began to kiss (much easier given how lovey-dovey she was getting after the autograph), before I got that slight sinking feeling. As the next match started, I told Jennifer I was going to the concession stand...

Jennifer: "Aww...but why? The next match is starting- it's supposedly for the tag titles..."

"Yeah, but come on: Jeter's still injured- it's just going to be some thrown-together pairing with Cappotelli- nothing major..."

Jennifer: "I see...well, be back soon...okay?"

"Sure..." I headed to where the backstage area was situated. I showed the rent-a-cop at the thing my WWE ID card and was let backstage. There, I looked for the bWo members, who were backstage...

Maria: "Oh, hey! I know you...I just saw you on TV! Are you famous?"

"Oh, hi Maria...so, let me talk to one of the others..."

Maria: "WOW! A celebrity knows my name! That's so cool..."

Richards: "So...let me guess...here about the KissCam?"

"Dude, you should know by now: If people see me at WWE shows, even in the stands, there's a chance my cover will be blown..."

Meanie: "Oh, come on...what's the problem? It's just a little fun..."

"Trust me, I know, but what if a guy from TNA or WCCW saw this show? What would they think?"

(MEANWHILE: Split cameras):

In Orlando, at a bar, Alex, Austin, and Val were watching the Pay-Per-View...

Val: "Say, wait a minute...isn't that Raven Guy over at the show?"

Austin: "Well, it does look like him, but a little more clean-cut...oh, he's on a date...that must be why..."

Alex: "Wait...Raven Guy is at a WWE show for a date...and is at a level that he can get onscreen. Somehow, this seems fishy..."

Austin: "Yeah, I guess it does..."

Val: "Personally, this can only mean one thing..." The three looked at each other before all speaking at the same time...

All: "RAVEN GUY'S SUCH A BIG FAN OF WRESTLING HE LOVES ALL PROMOTIONS' WORK!"

Alex: "Yeah, I guess that's it. I mean, come on...we all grew up with WWE action..."

Meanwhile, over in Dallas, Eric Bischoff was watching the show...

Bischoff: "Say...isn't that that staff writer I hired who got rejected by WWE at the WWE show? I guess my plan worked- he has infiltrated them to steal WWE guys! Excellent!"

(BACK TO SCENE...)

"So, you see the possible problem, right?"

Richards: "Oh, come on. You're too tense. Besides, we were told to do it..."

"Um...by who?" Just then, I saw Jay and Johnny laughing...

Lethal: "Yoo-hoo...LOVERBOY..."

Jacobs: "I said I'd get you back for these, and this seemed much better than writing an emo song about you..."

"Okay...that's fine, guys...just, fair warning: Next time, you're going to get yours..."

Lethal: "Yeah, okay...get back to your little girlfriend, man..." I left the group of them and headed back to my seat. I could hear Maria talking to Jay Lethal...

Maria: "So...what TV show is that guy on, anyway?"

Meanwhile, when I got back to my seat, Jennifer was waiting...

Jennifer: "Ooh...you missed some good matches...apparently, the guy was some wannabe Rock as Cappotelli's teammate..." I see...so they called up Siaki for the match...

"I see...I assume MNM won?"

Jennifer: "Oh yeah. You also missed the Kennedy/Lashley match...pretty poor. Lashley's not working in the push he has..."

"I see...what's next?"

Jennifer: "Kane and Cena...this should be good..."

MNM d. Matt Cappotelli and Sonny Siaki (55,78, 66)

Ken Kennedy d. Lashley (73, 72, 72)

Jennifer: "So, why did Kane ally himself with Stacy Keibler again?"

"From what I heard on the Internet, they really wanted to cash in on Dancing with the Stars while they could and put Stacy with Kane so that there was an extra bonus for this feud. Pretty weak, huh?"

Jennifer: "Oh yeah- who the hell could buy that?"

"Yeah. Well, at least this match is good..."

Jennifer: "Mmm...Cena...can't talk..."

"Aww...but I'm supposed to be your number one right now...I just got you really cool things from my friends..."

Jennifer: "Gotta keep doing it...sorry..."

"Aww...but that's not fair- why do you keep acting like this?"

Jennifer: "Um...I'm a girl?"

"..Point taken...WHOA. Now that is nice..."

Jennifer: "Yeah. Kane's actually a damn good wrestler, and it makes the show work that much better. Plus, Cena needs to be carried..."

"Yeah. Kane's going in...chokeslam, buh bye. Kane wins the belt..."

Jennifer: "Excellent."

Kane d. John Cena (95, 83, 91)

Jennifer: "So, what's next up?"

"This should be good- the culmination of the JBL/Undertaker feud..."

Jennifer: "Wait a second...they were feuding?"

"I think so...they paid no attention to it, save for putting Cabinet members against Undertaker...sometimes..."

Jennifer: "Yeesh...this is what I can't understand. This is the WWE- the biggest wrestling promotion in the world. In all likeliness, the bookers in this federation are the best in the world today...and they still get respect with a botched feud like this? This was terrible..." OUCH...you wound me...

"Yeah, but at least the match will be...decent...sort of...oh crap, this was bad..."

Jennifer: "Yeah- whoever was behind this was asleep at the wheel there..."

"Yep...this match is pretty boring."

Jennifer: "Yeah- your typical brawl..."

"Well, here comes the Cabinet...they should help...wait, JBL's sending them back to the dressing room. Apparently, he wants to finish Undertaker off himself..."

Jennifer: "Cool."

"Undertaker's fighting back...no, JBL's grabbing the urn- and he clocks Undertaker with it. Now JBL's unscrewing the urn, and there goes some smoke...now Taker's falling. JBL pins...easy win. Well, that was pointless..."

Jennifer: "Kind of like the feud, really. And now JBL's celebrating...yeesh..."

JBL d. The Undertaker (94, 79, 89)

JBL loses 1 point overness for no one caring he won

The Undertaker loses 5 points because he just doesn't have it anymore

"Well, now for the main event- Orton and Mysterio. Well, it can't be worse than the last match..."

Jennifer: "I don't know...JBL had done well in it..."

"Wait...you're a female...wrestling fan...and you also think JBL's improved his game?"

Jennifer: "Well, yeah..."

"...marry me?"

Jennifer: "Oh, come on...we're way too young for that..."

"I see...ooh, this match looks good..."

Jennifer: "Yeah- Mysterio's been getting better, and Orton is SO HOT..."

"I...see..."

Jennifer: "You know wrestlers, right? Do you think you could get me his autograph...or a lock of his hair...or a copy of his hotel room key and a bottle of Pina Colada Butt Lotion..." I suddenly thought back to one of my first few days on the job...

(REWIND)

Orton: "So...TNA people think your name is Raven Guy, kid? Well, to me, you're gonna be...SWIRLY GUY!" Just then, I felt my head enter one of the toilets as Orton kept shouting "SWIRLY GUY! SWIRLY GUY!"

(BACK TO PRESENT...)

"...um, I don't think so..."

Jennifer: "Darn. Hmm...Mysterio's actually doing well here. He's getting him into position, oh yeah! 619!"

"Coolness!"

Jennifer: "Now he's going for the West Coast Pop...he's almost got him...HOLY SHIT! That's Jericho!"

"I know...what's that about?"

Jennifer: "Now Jericho's attacking Mysterio...and now Orton's hitting the RKO...DAMMIT! I was hoping this was the big one...and now Orton and Jericho are celebrating...damn. Well, I'm done with this...let's go home...

Randy Orton d. Rey Mysterio by Chris Jericho interference (91, 79, 87)

Over: 79

After the show, I headed off to my car. Before I did, I saw Mr.Ace head over to me...

Ace: "Ah, there you are kid...oh, I see you've brought a friend..." CRUD! This is what I feared the most...luckily, I remembered Jennifer never watched any puro and wouldn't have remembered the Dynamic Dudes, so I hoped for the best...

"Why...this is such a surprise! How could I have expected to see my boss at my regular day job is also a wrestling fan and came to the Judgement Day PPV?" I winked at Mr.Ace until he got the picture...

Ace: "Oh...OH yes. Now, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but we have a business meeting for you in Orlando...here's some cab fare for your friend to get home with..."

"Thank you, my everyday normal boss! I'll call you when I get into Orlando!" I headed over to Jennifer... "Sorry- my boss happened to be here too, and he said I've got a business meeting tomorrow in Orlando. Here's cab fare- I'll talk to you later!" I headed off to my car and headed to the airport.

You know, for such a cool job, it does a good job at cockblocking me...

[Styk]

Reflecto, I'm loving this so far... but i do miss Wow... The booking is kinda random but I know the emphasis is on the story rather than the booking...

I haven't responded yet, so here are my random thoughts...

Brazo De Plata eating Ham along with the Brazo De Plata groupies is golden...

Pirates are cooler than Ninjas...

The Roster cuts/signings was an interesting concept... which i liked... though unrealistic it is fun...

The Handling of the "Traci Debacle" was pretty interesting... but with all the steals and "working" two companies and WWE I'm interested to see what you do as things spring up more often...

The Main character seems to be a little "off" at times (the Al Snow exchange...)... "Joey" is as dumb as a rock... but hey it works... Alex Shelley (and the rest of the TNA defense group)should just get a dunce cap... your use of Sophie is interesting and i'm kinda wondering where it heads...

Some of the Coach/Styles/Lawler commentary has me laughing... in particular the Nemeth debut...

The New New Blackjacks get a thumbs down from me... Cade/Murdoch get a thumbs up

Just then, Styles blipped off into the nothingness until Raw because this is a Reflecto diary and those things just happen.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

That night, I got a phone call by one of my friends before I got on the plane to Orlando...

Voice: "Hey, man- what's going on? Robbie told me you signed- just because you're a big-name WWE writer, you can't call your old friends from the place that got you there?"

"Oh, come on, 'Flec- you're the one who went Hollywood on us...you make the best-seller list, and all of a sudden we're nothing to you?"

'Flec: "Come on. I'm still down. Heck, I wrote the thing that got me here about all our friends back at the old fed..."

"Yeah. I read that thing, too... Man, you're going to get KILLED if you ever show up at our stomping grounds again..."

'Flec: "Dude...you were there. You knew how many characters were there. That place was gold for real-life stories..."

"Real-life stories? REAL-LIFE STORIES? Jared got pissed when I called him to offer him the development deal- and after you claimed that he was hunted for sport by The Redemption Crew- I don't blame him..."

'Flec: "You mean...he didn't tell you how he met his wife OR got that maid robot at his house? I'm shocked..."

"...okay, now you're just messing with me..."

'Flec: "Yeah, yeah. But you said you read it- what did you think about it?"

"Well, there seemed to be a few problems. I mean, everything went Tom's way in the story. If something problematic happened, everything inevitably went his way. It's a little unrealistic, man..."

'Flec: "I know, I know...but come on- sometimes, there's just those people who everything falls into place for them. Besides, I don't hear the fans of the stuff complaining..."

"Yeah, I guess. I've actually got to go. I'm going on a scouting mission..."

'Flec: "Okay, man- see ya..." I hung up the phone as I headed onto the plane. I got into coach (apparently, Mr.Ace thought it'd be more realistic- plus they rarely allow members of Creative to get first-class accommodations) and headed on. Once I got on the plane, I managed to see a familiar face sitting next to me...

Person: "Hey! Raven Guy! What're you doing up here?"

"Um, I'm not good with names-sometimes, I can barely remember my own...and you are?"

Person: "Come on, man- Jerrelle Clark. Well, you and your boys run with the big people in TNA- I doubt you remember the jobbers..."

"Oh yeah- Jerrelle! How are you!"

Clark: "Not bad- had an indy date, heading in to go job to people...you?"

"Come on...Impact calls..."

Clark: "Yeah. It's not bad. Actually, I managed to meet up with someone else at the show- he wanted to know if TNA could use him as a legend or something. He's sitting back somewhere..."

"Cool...who?"

Clark: "What do you mean who? One of the greatest masters of psychology ever, the first heel it was truly okay to enjoy the work of...I'm talking about Mister Jake Roberts!" I looked past this one to see Roberts sitting in one of the seats behind us. As the plane began to take off, I began to wonder what was going to go on tonight on Raw... (Oh, dear god...either this is going to be a tape-measure home run or I'm going to piss away all the good karma in one update...)

WWE Raw:

Nick Nemeth v. Sakoda

What if they had a match to start Raw and nobody cared? This match was...well, I don't even know, I nodded off. I mean, there are some matches you can get hyped for, some matches you can tolerate...and then there's Nick Nemeth versus Sakoda. The match wasn't terrible (if it was, I'd be calling for blood...), it was just...boring. Nemeth and Sakoda are just too bland for the gimmicks and apparent pushes they're getting (though it seems that Nemeth's push ended due to utter lameness...) The two put on a decent enough WWE-style match, always a good thing. Apparently, the WWE heard the snores coming from the audience, as they sent out reinforcements to get the crowd into the match again- first Paul Burchill to hit a C4 and get the crowd popped (and Nemeth the win), then Akio to come out and hit the Yang Time (which the announcers called the Flight Jutsu) to get the win. Pretty boring, but still...

(13, 73, 43)

After the break, the scene cut to the interview area, where Robbie Dawber was with the Chavo family (Classic holding his belt)...

Dawber: "Hi, I'm Robbie Dawber..." Just then, Chavo Classic began whupping Dawber's ass with a belt as Chavo started talking...

Chavo: "Hey, esse, this is a message to Chris Masters, yo. Now, I don't know what your deal is, homes, but the fact is, this guy just doesn't know when to give up. He thought I couldn't run with him- I went out there, I took that title for Eddie, man! He wanted a rematch- I kicked his ass. Heck, my father whups his ass on a daily basis...as apparently, this guy's learning right now..." The camera panned to Classic still whupping Dawber's ass...

Classic: "Oh, come on, you big baby...this is only HALF what I did to Masters..."

Dawber: "...thank you, sir, may I have another..."

Chavo: "And when I think about things- I'm tired of all this, man! That's why I'll give you one last shot, Masters...I'll give you three weeks to get yourself focused..." Chavo got a serious facial expression... "...get your ass prepared..." Classic gave a quick whip to Chavo's ass with the belt as Chavo winced... "...train as only you can..." Chavo took a fist and motioned as if he was injecting something before continuing... "...and I'll let you have one last shot at this bad boy. The only question is...are you able to do this?"

(58)

Chavo Guerrero loses 4 points of overness for really BOMBING out there. *sniff* Eddie wouldn't have been that bad...

Robbie Dawber gains 1 point of overness...as an interviewer. Yeah, okay...

Meanwhile, I was still on the plane. Me and Jerrelle got to talking...

Clark: "So, I'm still surprised I've lasted this long in TNA. I guess that's the way- as long as you have one really nice move, the doors open up for you, right?"

"Yeah, I guess...say, I had the stewardess get us some beers a little while ago- where are they?" I took a look back as I saw Jake holding up a few beers and basically keeping the stewardess hostage...

"Um, sir...we need to get more of these to the other passengers..."

Roberts: "Donchu know who I am? I'm a legend...I'm Jake Roberts...you gimme these beers, or I'll hit you with a D-D-T! D-D-T! D-D-T!" We heard him shouting, then began to talk...

Clark: "Um..we're going to have to chant, otherwise this guy won't stop..."

"Way ahead of you...D-D-T! D-D-T!" Me and Jerrelle started chanting until Roberts stopped...geez, Jake Roberts is on board, and from the looks of things, he's already plastered. This is going to be an interesting flight...

William Regal v. Angel

And we have a pretty obvious squash match to get Regal back on Raw's consciousness. Angel loses a little bit of his skill when he isn't doing his uber-gay shtick that he did in indies, while Regal's always good when he's kicking ass and taking names. Regal looked dominating throughout the whole of the match, always a good thing. The only surprising thing was Regal getting the win the way he did- not cleanly through a Regal Stretch, but rather from Eugene running in excitedly and hitting a Stone Cold Stunner, then a People's Elbow on Angel. Regal covered, then Eugene celebrated with Regal as Regal looked fairly unhappy...

(62, 72, 67)

After the break, Ernest Miller was in the ring doing his normal routine for the fans'...non-amusement. Just then, a video was seen on the TitanTron...

Voices: "Hey, everyone, and welcome to another installment of The Matt and Mark Show!" Just then, Matt Morgan and Mark Jindrak headed down to the ring. Morgan carried a video camera as Jindrak headed in and mugged it up for the camera...

Mark Jindrak v. Ernest Miller

Well, this was pretty much a case to try and see which one was going to get the "big push" of the two apparent debuts. Seeing as Jindrak was the one who got this apparent Alex Shelley ripoff gimmick, while Miller was doing the same stuff he was doing all along, it's safe to find out which one had the rockets strapped to his ass. Jindrak proceeded to go through with a number of big taunting moments as Morgan kept filming the whole thing, leading to a fairly straightforward match. Eventually, Jindrak hit the Mark of Excellence (which the announcers sold as the Cut and Print) for the victory. After the match, Jindrak celebrated as Morgan kept filming him as the show went to break...

(65, 74, 69)

Meanwhile, on the plane, I was beginning to get nervous, as Roberts was making his way up the aisle, fairly dead drunk. Eventually, he made his way up to us...

Roberts: "Hey...you two look like good boys...you got a lighter for ol' Jake the Snake?"

Clark: "Um...Jake...first off, I told you at the show, I don't smoke, and second off, smoking's not allowed on planes..."

Roberts: "Oh, come on, boys- that's tobacco they talk about- they don't say jack about THIS STUFF..." Just then, Roberts pulled out a vial of what looked like crack- I don't know- I didn't spend much time on MLK back at home, I don't know what it looked like (a plus or minus for being a sheltered white boy...). Seeing the likely joys of spending a plane trip with a drunken, coked-up Jake Roberts, my mind kept wandering towards the Raw show and what would be going on...

MNM v. The Havana Pitbulls

Pretty decent matchup. The two of these teams managed to put on a good enough show together. Unfortunately, MNM's status in a feud made it so they would get the win here- and probably in a squash. It kind of becomes weak when The Havana Pitbulls are made to look like total jobbers- I mean, do they even get much match time in WWE? MNM hit the Snapshot, blah blah...well, it was boring, but there could be much worse stuff to do with wrestling...

(57, 80, 68)

Meanwhile, while we were sitting there...

Stewardess: "I WANT THIS MOTHERFUCKING JAKE THE SNAKE OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!" Just then, we turned to Roberts as he had pulled out his snake and began to pretend he was at the Heroes of Wrestling show..."

Roberts: "Come on, baby...you know you've never seen a snake like this...you want a piece of it, dontcha? You wanna get nailed by ol' Jake the Snake? Come on...you wanna play? You wanna play 21, I've got 22...you wanna play blackjack? I got two of those too..."

Pilot: "Folks, this is your captain speaking...right now, we've got some beautiful scenery underneath us...the in-flight entertainment for first class is starting in just a few moments, and if you go into the coach area, former professional wrestling superstar Jake "The Snake" Roberts is holding our staff hostage...thank you for flying our airline..."

Clark: "This...is pretty bad...what are we going to do?"

"I don't know...cut back to the Raw tapings and have a seemingly-pointless-to-the-story-thus-far match to keep people realizing this is an EWR diary and not just Reflecto just going off in pursuit of art?" Jerrelle looked at me puzzled, then threw up a "peace sign..."

Clark: "Good idea! Let's do it!"

The Colon Brothers v. Los Chavos

This was pretty much...well, it was a battle of their props. Carlito and Eduardo came to the ring with a big bushel of apples and began to do stereo apple spitting at both Chavos, while their opponents grabbed belts (Chavo Jr. the IC belt, Classic his own belt) and began whupping their opponents' asses with belts. Chris Masters came out to the ring to try and do commentary once more, but people realized that Chris Masters should never be let anywhere near an open mic and tuned him out quick (as well as Coach giving verbal blowjobs to Masters throughout the segment.) The only thing keeping fans in this match were Carlito's charisma and the fact that, well, there is something inherently sublime in watching Chavo Classic whup someone's ass with a belt. Eventually, as the unwritten cliche of pro wrestling dictated, Chris Masters rushed the ring and attacked Chavo Jr., allowing Eduardo to get the victory.

(68, 75, 71)

Meanwhile, backstage, Vince McMahon was sitting with Theodore Long...

McMahon: "Okay, Mister Long, now, it's time to make your pick..."

Long: "Ah, Mr.McMahon...LEMME HOLLA AT YA, PLAYA...now, you know that I never do no complaining about what I get up on Smackdown, but you saw the problem last time...Dusty Rhodes went on Judgement Day, and he ended up thuggin' and buggin' with one of my top workers, William Regal, while I got me left with some guy Matt Striker...that's just not fair, playa...I want a re-draft!"

McMahon: "I'm sorry, Mr.Long- the rules of the lottery are set in stone. Now, please make your next pick..." Theodore Long reached into the balls and pulled out a name...

Long: "The third pick for Smackdown is...JOHNNY PARISI!"

McMahon: "Okay...I assume you're happy with this one...?"

Long: "I'll manage, playa..."

(68)

Johnny Parisi gains 1 point overness for getting to go to Smackdown

Meanwhile, back on the plane, Roberts was still going crazy as only a drunken, cracked-out Jake Roberts could. Finally, me and Jerrelle knew we had to do something. I thought back to my training- back to my old sensei...

(FLASHBACK...)

Sensei: "Now, remember, young...what was your name again?"

"Don't you remember? It is..."

Sensei: "Never mind, it isn't important. I only have one thing left to teach you. You see, I have studied your progress. I have seen that you have become one of those rare breed of super-beings: That known as the 'Protagonists.' As one of these rare 'Protagonists', you have many great abilities beyond that of us normal people, better known as 'Supporting Cast'. One of these is that you have been granted with the rare ability to bend the rules of time and space so that no matter what you wish for, it will come into being by sheer willpower. You are a God on earth, young...uh, young one..."

"Are you serious, sensei? I really have all of this power at my fingertips?"

Sensei: "Of course, young...uh...you...I mean, look here. You managed to call a flashback at will, and you even managed to create me out of thin air...I mean, geez- you never even TOOK martial arts, kid..."

"Wait...sensei...you mean you never existed?"

Sensei: "Learn your lessons well, young one...use your power wisely...wisely..." I came out of the flashback sequence and looked at Jerrelle.

"I think I have an idea. Get on top of your chair..."

Clark: "My chair? But why?"

"Trust me, you'll know why..." I waited for Clark to get in position before I headed up to get Roberts...

Roberts: "Hey...don't come near me...unless you got me some crack...come on, daddy needs him some crack, man..." Just then, I put my hands together and called out the secret words...

"DEUS...EX...MACHINA! " Instantly, the area surrounding the two of us began to glow as I summoned the one being that could get a Motherfucking Jake the Snake off the Motherfucking Plane...

Samuel L. Jackson: "HOWDY, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Just then, Jackson hit Jake Roberts with a huge mallet, sending him down before he disappeared. With Jake Roberts down, I signaled to Jerrelle Clark, who hit a 630 Somersault onto Roberts and took him down, causing Roberts to disappear...for now...

Meanwhile, on Raw, Shawn Michaels was posing in the ring as the show came back from break. Just then, Rene Dupree's music hit as he headed out...

Dupree: "Hello, all my fans! Now, I know that you must have missed me since I was gone- no worry, for Rene has come back to make all the women swoon and all the men question their own views...now, in my never-ending quest to save you people from these...phony people who made your hearts flutter, I have realized it is necessary for me to make you see that this...'Sexy Boy'...has not been that worthy of your attraction since the days in which the true pinnacle of love, Rene Dupree, was getting dandelions from every girl in my elementary school. No worries, my fans- I will be right here to send this relic of the '90s back to where he came from..." Dupree headed into the ring as he started to attack...

Rene Dupree v. Shawn Michaels

Well, this was actually a surprise. A decent match between the two? Shawn Michaels, one of the legendary "Clique", doing the mother of all torch-passings? Rene Dupree actually looked in this match like he was worthy of being thought of as a main eventer, and Michaels did everything to show Dupree as the future of the company. Dupree got all his signature spots in, while Michaels sold them like death. Michaels made the necessary MAGICAL JESUS POWER~! go through as Dupree tried to pose for the fans throughout it. However, Michaels managed to slip up, allowing Dupree to hit a Bonsoir on him to get the win. Well, it was decent...

(85, 74, 81)

Rene Dupree gains 1 point overness because it's all coming together

After me and Jerrelle managed to defeat Roberts, we posed in typical "post-bossfight" mode. The stewardess then came over and asked us to sit down...

Pilot: "Folks, this is your pilot speaking. Over in coach, the threat of Jake Roberts has been beaten by two people affiliated with the New Face of Professional Wrestling: Total Nonstop Action- seen every Monday and Thursday night on Spike TV. Unfortunately, the threat of this attack has forced us to touch down in Houston tonight instead of the scheduled Orlando destination. We're sorry for the inconvenience, folks...please fly our airline again real soon..." I thought to myself- this was the place where Smackdown was going to be taped tomorrow. This could be usable...

"Say, man...this sucks. Now there's no way that we'll get to the tapings tonight..."

Clark: "Yeah, man...now what am I supposed to do?"

"Well, as long as we're here...let me get my cell phone- I'll go get someplace to stay. I mean, you helped me save the flight- the least I can do is get us handled until the next flight..."

Clark: "Sounds damn good, man..." We shook hands and headed over...

The Next Day...

As I was asleep in a hotel room, I got a wakeup call...

Ace: "Wake up, sleepyhead..."

"...Mr.Ace? What...what happened?"

Ace: "You got us great publicity, that's what!"

"I...see...what about Raw...what was that like?"

Ace: "It was nothing. Main event was pretty weak, really...both Kane and Cena were off doing promotion for their films this summer, so we had to run with Van Dam versus Big Show as the main event. Pretty poor, too...only a (84, 62, 77). Van Dam won, but still..."

"I see. Now, this publicity...what was it?"

Ace: "Simple, kid! People have been all over how that TNA guy you were with saved the plane from Jake Roberts.Excellent move getting him to sign last night- honestly, when you faxed us that you stole a TNA jobber, I was worried, but when I saw that he was the hero of Flight 420, I was ecstatic!"

"I see...you're sure of that?"

Ace: "Oh, come on. No one even noticed you were. With all the publicity about the indy wrestler who stopped a hijacking and got a WWE contract as a result, you're just a face in the crowd. It's all taken care of..."

"Oh...great. Thanks, I guess..."

Ace: "No problem. Just get back to bed- we've got tapings tonight..." I fell asleep again. I fingered the book nearby my old buddy wrote. I guess he was right- when you're the protagonist, you do always get your way...

(Reflecto: "So, IK, I pulled it off. 'Soldier: Jake The Snake On A Plane.' You like?"

InterKnight: "Um...dude...I was JOKING when I gave you that premise for a Soldier update..."

Reflecto: "Wait...you were joking...but...I just put it through..."

InterKnight: "Wait...you seriously did it?"

Reflecto: "Well yeah- I mean, it's Finals time, so I needed something, and it seemed like a lark..."

InterKnight: "Um...Tommy...you've been shooting up Red Bull again to stay awake, haven't you?"

Reflecto: "Um...uh...yes'm..."

InterKnight: "Okay, Okay...come on...we'll get you back home...*sigh* Why do I never learn: Don't encourage him with these one-note joke ideas, he's probably crazy enough to run with it...")

Over: 71

[rockyoursox]

That is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. Seems perfectly fitting with your style, and it works out as a great comedy update.

However, I do have one problem with the way the diary's gone so far - you're stealing way too many people, and doing it way too fast. And in addition to that, it seemed like Raw and Smackdown were featuring two or three debuts each week. It's being done a little too quickly in my opinion. I would say it was unrealistic, but that's hardly criticism for you. Still, with the constant stealing of people, it seems like you've rushed this storyline too quickly. There's only so many more people you can steal to WWE contracts now, and if you debut anyone else on the shows, there's not going to be room for any of the people that were there to begin with. It's really the only problem I have with this diary - it's very well-written, some of the gimmicks you've introduced (particularly the Chavo belt-whipping duo) are just great, and it's absolutely a one-of-a-kind experience on the Dome.

[JDK]

Mmmm... Jerrell Clark hitting the 630 on Jake the Snake in a plane. But I still love the flight number... hehe... 420. I am just curious if it's a reference to RVD or to Jake Roberts.

[JonDude]

The plane episode of the diary was one of the best pieces of literature I've read

[RavenBlack]

InterKnight: "Okay, Okay...come on...we'll get you back home...*sigh* Why do I never learn: Don't encourage him with these one-note joke ideas, he's probably crazy enough to run with it...")

Edited April 27, 2006 by RavenBlack

[Jaze]

I enjoyed this, but this didn't "fit" in with the atmosphere. Oh yeah, and don't just make your workers drunk and get 'em to sign a contract, it's getting old.