World Wrestling Entertainment 2006

[chazmers]

if this doesn't get pinned for next month ill eat my hat. funniest diary in a long time keep up the weed smoking diary writing lol

[SmokeouT]

WWE Raw

June 5, 2006

The show begins with John Cena coming down to the ring, saluting the crowd as usual.

"The Champ is.... well he's in jail right now, but we touch up on that subject, just yet. Anway you look at who the real champ should be, it definatly isn't that Rated PG-13 bastard Edge. Edge you've walked around for too long with that gold and it belongs to me. I want my title back and I want it now, so Edge get your ass out and here... oh and bring your Cum Deposit along with you."

Cena wait for a second and was about to begin speaking again, when the whole building goes black. 'Break the Walls Down!' Chris Jericho steps out onto the entrance.

"You suck Cena. I fucked your mom!"

And with that Cena took chase after Jericho and they dissapeared to the back.

90

A hype video is shown of a desert scene. In the backround, sound of groaning and moaning are heard. The camera fades to AMW doing a homosexial looking work out section. AMW is coming!!!

59

<<<<Commercial>>>>

The Highlanders vs. Cade & Murdoch

Rory and Murdoch begin the match. Murdoch takes it to the newcomer and slams him around. Murdoch grinds his elbow in the chin, of the fall Rory. Murdoch tags in Cage and he comes in with a clothelines to put Rory down. Cade and Murdoch attempt a double team, but Rory gets out of it. He slams their heads into each other and tagged out to his brother. Robbie comes in with a stiff kick to Murdoch and it sends him to the outside. Robbie uses Rory's own head as a weapon and knocks Cade to the ground. Rory heads to the top rope and comes off with a nice leg drop. They pick Cade up and takes him out with Scott Drop!!! 1.. 2... 3!! The Highlanders win the match.

Winners: The Highlanders

55, 56, 54, Rory McAllister gained overness from this match. Robbie McAllister gained overness from this match. Trevor Murdoch didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating.

Val Venis is walking backstage when he walks into Vito. Venis can't believe what he is seeing. Vito looks at him "What, you wanna suck my dick or something? Faggot!" Venis just walks away looking confused.

68

<<<<Commercial>>>>

Val Venis vs. Vito

Venis is still a little shocked as he enters the ring with Vito. Vito lifts his dress and shows Venis his Vienna sausage. Venis falls for the distraction and gets taken out with a big boot. Vito runs off the ropes and drops an elbow on Venis. Vito whips Venis into the corner and Vito smashes him with a huge clothes line. Vito has Venis down in the corner and puts his dress over his head. Venis rolls out of it and attempts to gain a comeback. Venis fires off some shots, but Vito blocked them and took Venis out with the Code of Silence!!! 1...2...3... Vito wins this total squash match. After the match Vito put Venis' up the back of his dress.

Winner: Vito

74, 67, 81

Vince McMahon is walking backstage and knocks on the Spirit Squads door. "There's my little fairies" Vince laughs and walks in the door, shutting it behind him.

86

<<<<<<Commercial>>>>>>

Charlie Haas vs. Umaga w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada

Haas enters the ring and begins to brawl with Umaga. Big mistake, as Umage takes him out with a huge right hand. Umaga whips Haas into the corner and charges with full force. Charlie Haas was able to move out of the way and mount a small offense. Haas drop kicks the knee of Umaga and he falls to one knee. Haas then connects with an inzeguri to the back of Umaga's head. Haas hits Umaga with an amazing belly to belly suplex. Haas bounces off the ropes, but Umaga hits him with a huge Somaon Drop!!! Armando climbs onto the apron and breaks the cigar, signaling for the Samoan Spike!!! 1..2..3!! Umaga picks up another win for himself. Armando is holding Umaga back from causing more damage, as they leave.

Winner: Umaga

70, 67, 74

Melina and Nitro are in the back hyping his match for toinght.

"Since Nitro and Mercury have broken up and quit tag teaming me. I do miss the double penitration though, pitty. Anyway, my man can satisfy me with out the help of another man. Nitro is the Intercontinental Champion and no can do anything about it. Benjamin your overrated and would never be man enough for me. Carlito your not cool, even when you did that one thing... oh nevermind, Nitro our public awaits."

84, Melina Perez gained overness from this segment. Johnny Nitro gained overness from this segment.

<<<<<<<<Commercial>>>>>

Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Nitro © w/ Melina

Intercontinental Championship

Shelton and Nitro look at each other and decide to eliminate Carlito from the match. Carlito fights both men off and sends Nitro to the outside. Carlito then takes Benjamin down with drop kick. Carlito rolls to the outside, but get's raked in the eyes by Nitro. Nitro slams Carlito of the ring post and he is in some pain. Benjamin come flying over the top rope, with a flipping senton. Benjamin has taken both men out. Benjamin now breaks the count and then slides Nitro in. Benjamin makes the cover, but he kicks out. Benjamin hits Nitro with the Dragon Whip!! He makes the cover, but Carlito makes the save. Carlito sends Benjamin into the corner, but Benjamin turns it around and sets Carlito on the top rope. Benjamin climbs to the top rope with Carlito and hits him with a super over the head belly to belly suplex!! Benjamin makes the cover, but Melina gets on the apron and distracts the referee. Nitro grabs his title from ringside and takes the opportunity. Nitro takes Benjamin out with the title and makes the pin. Nitro has retained his title and all the thanks in the world go to Melina.

Winner: Johnny Nitro ©

73, 74, 73

Triple H is walking in the back with a sad puppy dog look on his face. If no one knew any better, you would say someone fucked his wife or something? Anyway, as he turns the corner the Spirit Squad attack!! Led by Kenny the Spirit Sqaud slams Triple H through a plate glass window!! Spirit Squad laugh and walk away happy with what they've done.

68, Triple H lost overness from this segment.

<<<<Commercial>>>>

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena angrily enters the ring , because earlier Jericho apparently fucked Cena's mother. When Jericho hit the ring, Cena pounced on Jericho. Cena beat Jericho from one corner to the other. Jericho blocked a punch and knocked Cena down with a stiff enzeguri!! Jericho kicked Cena's head around a little bit. Jericho now heads to the top rope. He waits for Cena to climb to his feet and connects with a missile drop kick. Cena gets up and runs at Jericho, but he ducks and pulls the ropes down. Cena is standing on the apron, Jericho springs off the second rope, and takes Cena down with a drop kick. Jericho now comes over the top rope with a body splash, but Cena moves. Jericho crashes onto the floor, outside the ring. Cena then whips Jericho into the steps and rolls him into the ring. Cena takes Jericho down with a belly to back suplex. Cena calls for it and sets Jericho up in the F-U!!! Sabu comes running from the crowd and slides into the ring. Sabu takes Cena legs out from behind and the referee calls for the bell. Jericho now locks Cena in the Walls of Jericho, while Sabu gets a table. Jericho sets Cena up on the table, as Sabu accends to the top rope. Sabu comes off with the Arabian Facebuster, through the table!!! Paul Heyman joins the two men in the ring and hands Jericho an ECW Shirt. Jericho doesn't hesitate and puts the shirt on.

Winner: No Contest

84, 91, 70

Overall Show Rating: 74

[NobBe Nobbs]

So, if I may ask, where is Somao and what's the climate like there?

Oh, wait. In keeping with the topic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GoGo Yubari]

Thank you to everyone who has read this and liked.

Wow, people like this?

Seriously though dude, no-one's laughing at you, we're laughing at your terrible writing. You seriously need more desciption and not to mention promos which are, you know, realistic.

And you'd be wrong. This diary is wonderful because it's awful. If he actually tried to make it good then it would lose what makes it fun and not just Generic WWE Diary #386. It's stupid and gloriously so. It could do with some humor beyond sex jokes, sure, but still.

[SmokeouT]

ECW on Sci-Fi

June 6, 2006

Kelly Kelly is in the back with a group of senior citizens, doing a strip tease for them. As she is about to take her top off, Mike Knox interupts and covers her with a towel. The old men begin riot and attack Knox. One cracks him over the head with his oxygen tank. Now, another one holds him down with cane, Kelly finishes her dance and finally see those beautiful titties!!!

41

Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox w/ Kelly Kelly

This match was a complete squash. Knox took Richards out with Reverse Fisherman Buster to pick up the win.

Winner: Mike Knox

62, 47, 77, Mike Knox gained overness from this match.

<<<<Commercial>>>>

CM Punk is in the back with that constipated look on his face.

"I am a straight edge, which means. I don't get drunk or do drugs. I don't have crazy, upside, tie up a donkey, and spank your grandma sex. All I do is wrestle and that is how I get high. Basically what I'm saying is that I'm really lame, but I will kick your ass."

73

TesT vs. The Sandman

Extreme Rules

Test comes running down to the ring, looking like he is raging like a mother. Sandman doesn't even hesitate and smacks him in the face with his kendo stick. Sandman then continues to beat him down, like a crazy man. Sandman exits the ring and pulls a ladder out from under the ring. Sandman sets the ladder up on the apron and the gaurd rail. Sandman enters the ring and hits him with a ddt and rolls him outside the ring. Sandman stratedgically places Test on the ladder. Sandman enters the ring and comes over the top rope with a flipping senton, but Test moves!! Sandman crashes down onto the ladder with a sick crack. Sandman is hurt. Test slides the ladder into the ring and rolls Sandman in. Test sets the ladder up in the corner. Test whips Sandman into the ladder and he bounces off in agony. Sandman gets up slowly, but he has the kendo stick in hand. Test runs at him in an attempt to hit him with the Big Boot. Sandman ducks it and smacks Test again with the kendo stick. Sandman then finishes him off with the White Russian Leg Sweep w/ the cain. 1..2...3.. These men have destroyed each other!!

Winner: The Sandman

70, 67, 73

<<<<Commercial>>>>

Chris Jericho comes walking down to the ring to the ring.

"The Ayatola of Rock and Rolla is back in ECW!!! What I did on Raw to John Cena didn't have anything to do with us here in ECW. I just wanted to beat the hell out of one of Raw's biggest stars, to show the world who the dominate brand in sports entertainment is. Now for the real reason I'm in ECW is to become the ECW World Champion. Apparently RVD was swerving in front of Ohio's finest and couldn't eat his stash fast enough. So who do they bring in to win the ECW Championship? Fucking Big Show. C'mon now, I could beat Big Show anyday with my pure technical talent. So here I am.... I'm laying out the challenge, Big Slow!!! Give me my shot!!"

Paul Heyman comes out to interupt Jericho in the ring.

"No this isn't happening, who the hell do you think you are? Big Show isn't going to accept this match anyway or form...."

Just then, Big Show comes from behind and takes Jericho out. The match is on...

78

Chris Jericho vs. Big Show ©

ECW World Championship

Extreme Rules

Big Show picks Jericho up and throws him over the top rope and onto the announcer's table!!! Oh my God!!!! Jericho is rolling around in agony and the giant persues. Show slams Jericho off the ring post and he is busted open! Show dismantles the steel steps and tries to hit Jericho. Jericho is able to drop toe hold Show. Show drops the steel steps and then hits his head on them. Big Show has been busted open as well. Jericho slides into the ring and heads to the top rope. Jericho comes off with a cross body from the top to the floor, but Show catches him!!! Show then slams him kidneys first against the ring post. Show then throws Jericho over the top rope into the ring. Big Show now puts a table in the ring and sets it up. Show turns and Jericho connects with a missile drop kick, from the top rope. Big Show is still standing. Jericho runs off the ropes, but Show catches him by the throat. Big Show hits Jericho with the Choke Slam, through the table!!! 1...2...3!!! Big Show begins to celebrate, but Sabu comes from the top rope with a chair. Sabu then climbs back to the top rope and connects with a perfect Arabian Facebuster!!! Sabu points to the sky and the show goes off the air.

Winner: Big Show ©

83, 87, 74

Overall Show Rating: 70

[ROZAY]

The show begins with John Cena coming down to the ring, saluting the crowd as usual.

"The Champ is.... well he's in jail right now, but we touch up on that subject, just yet. Anway you look at who the real champ should be, it definatly isn't that Rated PG-13 bastard Edge. Edge you've walked around for too long with that gold and it belongs to me. I want my title back and I want it now, so Edge get your ass out and here... oh and bring your Cum Deposit along with you."

Cena wait for a second and was about to begin speaking again, when the whole building goes black. 'Break the Walls Down!' Chris Jericho steps out onto the entrance.

"You suck Cena. I fucked your mom!"

[SmokeouT]

WWE Smackdown!

June 9, 2006

Smackdown! begins with the ring set up with the King's Throne. William Regal is in the ring with a microphone and welcomes the new World Heavyweight Champion. Sharmell grabs the mic from Regal...

"Bow down to your King!!"

Booker T takes over on the mic now...

"I told you, I told you, I told you. Rey Mysterio didn't want to step into the ring with me. His head wasn't in the right place. I mean constantly trying to dodge competitor for this title is hard work. Harder work then being Khali's english teacher. Rey plain and simply, you got your ass beat last week..."

Before he could finish Rey hit the ring. Rey hit the west coast pop on Booker in the chair. Regal runs at him, but he drop toe holds him into the ropes. Rey hits Regal with the 619!!! Booker and Sharmell are on the outside.

"Booker stop, I'm challenging you to a rematch... Tonight!!!"

"You ain't got nothing I want. I beat you just crawl back into your hole behind the fridge."

"Booker I do have something you may want. It's my contract with Smackdown! I'll go and talk to Teddy and add a stipulation. If I win, I get the World Heavyweight Title. If you when, then I will leave Smackdown!"

"You've got your self a match.... Sucka!!!"

84

<<<<Connercial>>>>

Eric Young w/ Petey Williams vs Brian Kendrick w/ Paul London

Kendrick enters the ring and walks right up to Petey and gets in his face. Petey backed away and acted like he was leaving the ring. When Kendrick turned to fight Eric, Petey hit him from behind. The ref. made William exit the ring and Young begins the match. Young hits him with a couple of chops and whips him into the ropes. Young takes Kendrick down with a drop kick. Eric heads to the top rope and comes off with a sweet cross body. He makes the cover, but Kendrick kicked out. Young pulls Kendrick into the corner and hits him with a swinging reverse ddt. Young made yet another cover, but Kendrick kicked out. Eric whipped Kendrick into the ropes, but he held on. Young runs at him, but Kendrick jumps up and frankensteins him out of the ring. Williams helps Eric to his feet and they both get taken out with a shooting star press!!! Kendrick rolls Eric into the ring for a two count. Williams slams London into the steel steps!! Eric rolls to the outside to act like he checking the welfare of London. As the referee joins him, Petey sneaks into the ring. Canadian Destroyer!!!! Petey connects with his sick finisher and rolls to the outside. Eric Young climbs to the top rope and connects with an Elbow Drop!!! 1...2...3!!! Eric has just pinned 1/2 of the Tag Team Champions.

After the match, the bloody Paul London chases the two men off.

Winner: Eric Young

74, 60, 89, Young gained overness.

Theodore Long is sitting in the back, at his desk. Eating fried chicken and trying to figure out away to stop payments to his babies momma. Two men from TNA walks in and Long stands to his feet. It's Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas, The Naturals. They said,

"with rise of WDW (World Domination Wrestling) things are getting a little shaky around the locker room. People are jumping ship to that company everyday. A lot of people are leaving TNA as you know. They got not only Christian Cage to jump, but they also got Ron Killings. We too are looking to jump from the sinking ship and I think Cristy Hemme is spreading herpes around. Anyway this are first choice can we try out?"

"Well playa, your just in luck. I've got a retard and a Iranian chick waiting for you in the ring."

73, The Naturals both gained overness.

<<<<Commercial>>>>

The Naturals vs. The Great Khali & Daivari

Khali starts the match out just dominating both men. No matter what The Naturals tried to do, they still couldn't gain an advantage. Finally, Chase was able to duck a big boot attempt from the big giant. Chase tagged out to Andy and they began to double team Khali. They went for a double suplex, but Khali was able to reverse and suplex both men at once. The lights go out and no one can see anything. When the lights come back on Khali is on the outside, not moving. Michael Cole asked JBL if he fell and JBL smacked him. The fact of the matter was, Daivari was stuck in the ring with The Naturals. They take simaltaneous shots on Daivari. They then hit him with the Natural Disaster!!! 1...2..3!!! The Naturals have won a contract to Smackdown!!!

Winners: The Naturals

69, 61, 77

The Great Khali is in the ring now with Daivari!! Daivari gets on the mic.

"Undertaker we know that was you who took Khali out, during that last match. A man that attacks and runs is a coward Undertaker. How bout when you come to the Punjabi Prison Match, you wear pretty pink dress. After Khali rips your head off and master bates down your neck, the legend of the Deadman will be no more."

"Haa Bahga dimmity.... uh Der di...."

Before Khali could finish what he was saying Undertaker hit the ring. Undertaker went for a clothes line, but broke his arm on Khali's chest!!! Khali then choke slams him over the top rope and onto the floor!!! Undertaker has been taken out by this huge man.

66, Undertaker lost overness, Khali gained overness.

<<<<Commercial>>>>

Matt Hardy vs Finlay

Non-Title

Both men lock up, but Finlay hits Matt with a chop and it puts him to the floor. Finlay now stomps him and locks him in a stiff side neck lock. Matt puts his foot on the bottom rope and Finlay lets him up. Finlay then jumps high in the air and comes down, knees first on Hardy's face. Finlay then whips Matt into the corner and connects with a couple of stiff chops. Finlay now begins to choke Hardy with the turnbuckle string. The referee begins his 5 count and Finlay let him go. Finlay went for a right hand, but Matt kicked him in the gut to reverse it. Matt then connects with a nice tornado ddt. Matt goes for the cover, but Finlay kicks out. Matt stalks Finlay and pulls himself to his feet. Matt then connects with the Side Effect!! 1...2... no Finlay was able to grabs the ropes and the last milli-second. Matt heads to the top rope and taunts to the crowd. Matt comes off with a leg drop, but Finlay moved. Finlay gives Matt a stiff kick to the gut. Finlay takes Matt down with a hard European upper cut. Finlay picks Matt to his feet, but Matt takes him down with a neck breaker!! Matt stalks Finlay, now waiting for him to stand. Little Bastard comes from underneath the ring and distracts the referee. Matt goes to get him off the apron and turns into the Full Effect!!!! from Joey Mathews!!! Finlay hurries and gets the cover for the win. Mathews now re-enters the ring with a chair. Mathews lays the chair on Matt's head and heads for the top rope. Mathews comes off with a leg drop, ontop of the chair, on top of Matt's head!!! Proud of himself Mathews leaves, as EMTs rush to the ring.

Winner: Finlay

74, 70, 79

<<<<Commercial>>>>

Finlay is walking to his locker room when he runs into a familiar face. Chris Benoit stops him in his tracks....

"I want that title and I want it at the Great American Bash."

"Well Benoit, you know who I am.... and I love to fight!!! Your on............. pussy."

Benoit smiled at him and just walked away, peacefully.

62, Benoit lost overness.

Theadore Long was backstage and announced that tonights match for the World Title will be final fight between Rey and Booker. So as far as the Great American Bash's main event is concerned..... four men will fight for the title shot.... tonight..... next.

77

<<<<Commercial>>>>

Batista vs Bobby Lashley vs Mark Henry vs Randy Orton

Batista enters the ring and takes the fight directly to Henry. Batista clothes lined Henry over the top rope! Orton sneaks up behind him and tosses him over the top rope, also. Now Orton and Lashley come face to face in the middle of the ring. Orton smacks him and it's heard all over the arena. Lashley smiles and takes Orton down with a huge stiff clothes line. Henry has gained the advantage on the outside slamming Batista's head into the steel stairs. Lashley has Orton in the ring and hits him with a belly to belly overhead suplex! Lashley makes the cover, but Henry was in the ring to make the save. Henry grabs Lashley and slams him hard to the mat. Herny bounces off the ropes and hits the World's Strongest Splash!! 1...2... no Orton makes the save. Orton then turns and is taken out with a huge Spinebuster from Batista!! Batista is now back on his mission and begins to work on Henry in the corner. Batista sets Henry up on the top rope, what!!?? Batista head up there with him and hits him with a the biggest superplex in history!!! Henry has hit the mat harder than anyone before. Batista makes it to his feet, but Orton is quick to take him out with the RKO!!! Orton turns and is taken out with a huge Spear from Lashley!!! Lashley then sets him up and takes him out with the Dominator!!!! 1..2..3!!!! Bobby Lashley is the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley

73, 76, 68

A video is played and it shows a man flying through the air! Coming off the top rope with a group of crazy moves. Then it shows him.... AJ Styles..... the Phenominal is here!!!

67

Booker T © w/ Sharmell vs Rey Mysterio

World Heavyweight Championship

King Booker enters the ring and forces the referee to check Rey for weapons. During which time, he attacked him. Booker beats him to the ground and taunts to the crowd. Booker hits him with a nice suplex!! Booker grabs him for the Royal Book End, but Rey gets out of it and drop kicks Booker's knee. Rey then hits Booker with a spinning heel kick to knock him down. Rey picks him up and hits him with the Three Amigos!!! Rey heads to the top rope for the Frog Splash, but Sharmell shakes the ropes and crotches Rey. Booker heads to the top and takes Rey out with a huge superplex. Booker makes the cover, but Rey kicks out. As Rey begins to struggle to his feet, Booker attempts the Scissors Kick. Rey moved out of the way and drop kicks Booker in the back. Booker lands on the second rope. Rey now runs against the ropes, but Sharmell grabs his leg!! Booker takes Rey out with a jumping side kick. Rey is in trouble.... Book End!!!! Booker T has hit his finisher!! 1...2... no!!!! Rey has kicked out of the Booke End. Boooker is pissed off and picks him up. This time he hits him with a harder Book End!!! 1...2...3!! Booker has done it Rey Mysterio is gone!!! Booker and Sharmell celebrate their win, while Rey waves bye-bye to the crowd.

Winner: Booker T ©

82, 86, 73

Overall Show Rating:

71

[SmokeouT]

WWE.com News!!!

We are happy to inform of a couple of new wrestler has signed contracts. The shocker is Jeff Hardy will be returning, but there is no word on a brand selection. Also, ECW has signed some old faces. These workers will mainly be there to help put over some of the newer superstars coming into ECW. These are names such as... Mikey Whipwreck, Perry Saturn, and Tajiri. Also, Simon Dean will no longer be on Smackdown! He will be Nova again in ECW.

Also, WWE has let a couple of people go. The list is not very long and is as follows:

The Miz

[k_mac]

Well Benoit, you know who I am.... and I love to fight!!! Your on............. pussy."

[Jaze]

Uh. good diary but the sex jokes are getting old. How about giving everyone horrendous gimicks?

[Legend_Killer33]

Davairi and The Great Khali are in the back. They were ripping into Undertaker.

Davairi said "Undertaker.... Khali is going to murder your face and make you eat his shit, in the punnami prison sex match!!"

Khali responded with "Der di DEr"

All in all, nice interview.

----

Cena wait for a second and was about to begin speaking again, when the whole building goes black. 'Break the Walls Down!' Chris Jericho steps out onto the entrance.

"You suck Cena. I fucked your mom!"

Edited August 7, 2006 by Legend_Killer33

[Doc Funky]

"Haa Bahga dimmity.... uh Der di...."

Before Khali could finish what he was saying Undertaker hit the ring.

[Katsuya]

This diary is horrendously unfunny. It's even worse than my old diary, and that was bad. I mean, this is a one trick pony on countless sex jokes. Oh ha ha he has a foot fetish. That would be funny if WWE hadn't done that with Snitsky (maybe). So, yeh, this sort of fails on many levels.

[Guest Rawlin67]

sort of? Personally, I didnt really find it funny in the beginning, and its just gotten worse.

[SmokeouT]

WWE Raw

June 12, 2006

The show begins with Edge and Lita coming down to the ring. Edge pointed out the fact that he wasn't in the building last week to answer the challenge of Cena. Edge stated that instead of showing up to whoop Cena's ass, that he sent his old friend Chris Jericho to see him. This week is different and he is in a giving mood. Not just cuz he just got done fucking Lita in her ass, but it's Michael Bolton's birthday and that is his favourite singer. Edge says he will put his title on the line and be a fighting champion.

93

Vince McMahon was in his office, when Coach entered the room and told him that there is two men to see him. Vince told Coach to send the men in, get him some coffee, and the new Cosmo. In walk TNA's AMW. Vince tells them that he is going to make them a star, whether they are homo or not. Harris to him, that they aren't, but they will do anything to help him. Well, Vince told them that they are scheduled for a tag match tonight. They will face Degeneration-X in tag action. Vince knows Triple H is home fixing his injuries and looking at old photo books with the tissues by his side. So, if Triple H doesn't make it tonight and HBK hasn't found a partner, then it will be a handicap match. Storm then said yeah and we'll show them the true meaning of sucking it... I mean. Harris smacked him in the back of his head and they left. Vince is left with a huge smile on his face.

78

The Spirit Squad © d. The Highlanders - This match was for the WWE Tag Team Championship and as usual, The Spirit Squad surrounds the ring. Representing the Spirit Squad was Kenny and Mikey. They begin the match with the advantage holding Rory back from making the tag. Mikey then made the mistake, by taunting to the crowd and Rory hit him with a head butt to the stomach. Robbie came in of a tag and took it to both Spirit Squad members. Kenny holds the referee back into the corner, while Mitch and Johnny enter the ring with chairs. They take Robbie out with a con-chair-to!!! They leave the ring and Mikey hits Rory with the T-Bone Suplex!! Kenny is on the top rope and comes off with a Flying Leg Drop!!! 1...2...3!!! Spirit Squad retaints their tag titles and taunt to the crowd.

54, The Highlanders basically no sold the whole match.

Vito is shown walking down the hall wearing a blue flowered, strapless dress. He is also carrying a huge purple dildo, like one might find in GTA: San Andreas. His match is next...

64

Vito d. Charlie Haas - Vito and Haas went back and forth in the beginning of this match. Haas was able to take Vito down with a German suplex pin, but Vito kicked out. Vito took Haas house with a huge big boot and put Haas in a leg lock. Haas' head was up Vito's skirt... haha. Haas made it to the ropes and took Vito out with a heel kick. Vito planted Haas with a huge ddt for a two count. Haas reverse the Irish whip and hit Vito with a belly to belly suplex. Haas locked Vito in the Haas of Pain, but Armando Estrada has jumped onto the apron. Haas let's go of the hold an Umaga hit the ring and took Haas out with the Samoan Spike!!! Vito makes it to his feet and takes Haas out with the Code of Silence!! Vito picked up the win with Umaga's help. Vito leaves the ring and Umaga dismantles Charlie Haas, until some officials would come to the ring to stop the carnage.

71

Melina and Johnny Nitro did an interview in the back. When the camera came in Nitro was shaving his legs. Melina began to talk about the number one contender match, for the IC Title. She said it doesn't matter, because her man will come out of top. Whether it be Shelton or Carlito. By the way, what you did to me Carlito.... wasn't cool.... I couldn't sit down for a week.

82

Carlito d. Shelton Benjamin - This match for the number one contendership for the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Both men have held the title and new what was at stake, so they took it to each other. Benjamin took the advantage with a dragon whip. Benjamin whips Carlito into the corner and hits him with a flying body splash. Benjamin went for the T-Bone Suplex, but Carlito catches him with a ddt. Benjamin whips Carlito, he springs off the second rope, and takes Benjamin out with a back elbow. He makes the cover, but Benjamin was able to kick out. Benjamin rolled to the outside and pulled Carlito under the ropes. Benjamin then climbed onto the apron and came off with a cross body. Benjamin whipped Carlito into the steel stairs and rolled him back into the ring. Benjamin entered the ring and whipped Carlito into the ropes, but Carlito bounced off the second rope and did a back flip over Benjamin's head. Carlito then crushed Benjamin with the Back Breaker!!! 1...2...3!!! Carlito is the number one contender. After the match Johnny Nitro ran to the ring and took Carlito out with the title. He then went to the top rope and connected with the Shooting Star Leg Drop!!!

80, 76, 84

It was time for AMW vs. Degeneration-X and Triple H was still no where to be found. HBK had one last idea up his sleeves and introduced a new member to Degeneration-X.... Matt Bentley!!!

America's Most Wanted d. HBK and Bentley - This match was scheduled to be a handicap match, but Vince was bound by his decision saying it was AMW vs. DX. That meant that any member of DX could fight and HBK out did him on that one. The match begins with Harris taking it to HBK and slams him hard down to the mat. Harris and Storm did a beautiful job on the tag action. They beat HBK up and down the ring, but Bentley was able to come in and make the save. Bentley came off the top rope with a huge double clothes line!!! Bentley went for the super kick, but Storm sent him out of the ring. HBK then connected with the Super Kick on Storm!!! HBK the took Harris down with a tornado ddt!!! HBK went to the top rope for the elbow drop!! HBK connects with the elbow drop, but Harris was able to kick out of the pin!! Shane McMahon comes running down to the ring and slides in. He goes to clothes line HBK, but is sent out of the ring and onto the floor. Storm is back in the ring and takes HBK out with the super kick!! AMW now set HBK up for the Death Sentence, while Shane beats on Bentley on the outside. AMW pick up the win and now the triple team begins!!

80, 75, 85

Benltey is losing overness because of weak gimmick.

Candice is in the back looking for something in her locker room. She spots Mickey and asked her if she could borrow her hair brush!! Mickey looked at her and begin to scream obsceneties!!! She starts to pull out her hair and bang her head on the wall. She has had a full blown scitsophrenic attack!! Then she hands her the hair brush, like nothing happened? Candice called her a crazy bitch and Mickey jumped on her. She slammed Candice into the mirror and there is blood everywhere.

71, Candice gained overness.

John Cena d. Edge by Dq - This match was a WWE Championship match. Edge and Cena went back and forth for the first couple of minutes in this match. Cena went to the top rope, but got caught by Edge. Edge planted him with the electric chair drop!!! Edge makes the cover, but Cena kicked out. Cena made it to his feet and began his brawling, like we care to see him act like he's punching Edge. Edge then his him with a hanging neck breaker. Cena hit Edge with a shoulder block and taunted for his to get up. Cena went for the F-U, but Edge wiggled out of it and hit Cena with the Edgeocution!!! 1..2.. no, Cena was able to kick out!!! Lita climbs into the ring and comes off the top rope with the Litacanranna!!! The referee calls for the bell and this match was thrown out. Edge and Lita flee the ring and they just screwed Cena out of the title again!!!

86, 93, 73, WWE Heavyweight Title has gained in image.

Overall Rating: 76

Thank you everyone for all your feedback.... yes I even thank the haters for their feedback. Haters is what makes the world turn, if their wasn't people to hate on then, they would just be bored.

[SmokeouT]

WWE.com

Due to poor match quality, The Highlanders were sent back to OVW. They will work on their skills and charisma. Hopefully we will see these two back on the roster and better than ever.

Tylene Buck has signed a exclusive deal with Raw. What are her motives for coming to the WWE? Does she want the women's title? Rumor has it she is bringing someone with her, a body guard so to speak.

ECW on Sci Fi Preview

Tonight on ECW, the homocidal, geonacidal, and suicidal Sabu will be in the house. Sabu will be taking on Big Show for the ECW World Title!!! Big Show has been unstoppable in the last couple of weeks since winning the title from RVD.

Kurt Angle will be in the house and ready for some Extreme Rules action. He will make the open challenge, tonight.

Also, former ECW Champion, Mikey Whipwreck will be in the house. He will be facing the debut of CM Punk!!

All this and more on ECW!!!

[Benjamin]

This diary is so unrealistic its goddamn funny. I feel like a fucked-up sinner just laughing at the punjabi sex match. Wait, I am a goddamn sinner. Somebody hurry up and hall of fame this, for I getting pregnant just puking at the writing, but laughing my ass off at the stupid, stupid sex jokes.

[Sousa]

The only way this could be better is if you reworked the Big Show as an oversized Catholic school girl cyborg Southern colonel pirate who comes to the ring riding a horse.

And then, of course, you have Rob Van Dam come out and make some comment about Show having hot anal sex with the horse, given that it's in this diary.

[SmokeouT]

ECW on Sci Fi

June 13, 2006

Tommy Dreamer is walking backstage and bumps into Kelly Kelly. She is bending over fixing her stripper shoes.

"Hey Tommy, do you want a free show?"

"Hell yeah bitch... Tommy Likey"

So she begins to strip for him, while some music plays off in the backround? Tommy's tounge is hanging out of his mouth and his eyes are bulging out of his head. Tommy is then attacked from behind, by Kelly's boyfriend Mike Knox!! Knox slams Tommy through a door and follows him into the locker room. Knox takes Tommy's head and puts it in a locker and slams the door on him. Knox has left Dreamer in a puddle of blood!!

54, Knox and Kelly gained overness from this segmant.

CM Punk d. Mikey Whipwreck - This was the first match for CM Punk as he makes his debut for ECW. He is fighting Mikey who is a veteran and former ECW Champion. Punk has his work cut out for him tonight. Both men lock up to begin the match and hit each other with a series of arm drags and hip tosses. Punk gets the advantage with a kick to the head of Whipwreck. Punk sets Whipwreck up and hits him with a sitting powerbomb. Punk then bounces off the ropes and connects with a drop kick to the head of Whipwreck. Mikey counters a kick and hits him with a short arm clothes line. Mikey whips him into the corner and hits him with a flurry of punches. Mikey runs at Punk, but he gets his foot up and catches Mikey with a boot to the face. Punk makes his way to the top rope and Mikey crotches him. Mikey climbs to the top rope and tries for the Whipper Snapper, from the top rope!! CM Punk holds on and sends Mikey crashing to the mat. CM Punk then connects with a nice elbow drop. CM Punk then locks Mikey in the Anaconda Vice!!! Mikey was forced to tap out and CM Punk, the straight edge has won his first match.

72, 64, 80

Sandman is walking... well barely. He is walking in the back singing the words to Free Bird by Skynard. He turns the corner and sees the sick grin of Test!!! Test begins the attack with a barage of punches, but Sandman fights back. They begin to brawl around the arena and then to the outside. They make their ways to the parking lot and begin to slam each other off of cars!! Test takes Sandman out with the running Big Boot!!!! Test then picks him up and hits him with the F5 onto a car!! The alarm sounds and Test looks around like he stole something and ran away. Sandman is a bloody mess on top of someone's rental.

72

Kurt Angle d. Balls Mahoney - Kurt Angle came to the ring and said he wanted to prove that he can be hardcore. Even more extreme than anyone in ECW. With that said Balls Mahoney made his way to the ring with his steel chair in hand. Angle told him to take his best shot and Balls fell for it. Angle ducked the chair shot and hit Balls with a German suplex!! The ring shook from the impact and Angle begins the beat down. Angle goes for the Ankle Lock, but Balls was able to make it to the ropes. Balls fights out of it and hits Angle with a belly to belly suplex. Balls picks Angle up and goes for a powerbomb, but Angle pulls the chair up with him and connects. Balls falls to the ground and Angle slams the chair down onto the ankle of Balls. Balls screams in pain and Angle locks him in the Ankle Lock!!! Balls Taps!!! Angle has won this extreme match and celebrates to crowd.

74, 74, 75

Paul Heyman is in the back and walks into Big Show's locker room. Heyman begins to cough and gag, while holding his nose. There is a toilet flushing in the back round and Big Show walks from the bathroom. Heyman looks at him and says...

"did you eat some foreign guy? It smells like bad Mexican food in here. Anway are you ready, because tonight is going to be your biggest challenge. The man you are fighting has no remorse for his own well-being and especially when its for the title."

"It doesn't matter to me Heyman, you saw how I handled Jericho's ass last week. Tonight is just another name to check off the list.... Does it really smell that bad in here?"

Heyman shakes his head and they walk out of the room.

74

Big Show © d. Sabu - This match was for the ECW Heavyweight Championship. Sabu took it to Big Show right from the beginning hitting him with chair shot, after chair shot!! Show is pissed and punches right through Sabu's chair. Sabu runs at Show and he back drops him high into the air. Sabu flies over the top rope and lands right in Tazz and Joey Styles' laps. Big Show heads to the outside and Sabu stabs him in the face with a spike, that he pulled out of his boot. Sabu takes a chair and throws it hard into Show's face. Show is bleeding like hell and Sabu plants him with another chair shot. Show rolls into the ring and stands in the corner. Sabu sets the chair up and attempts Air Sabu!!! Show catches him and slams him down onto the open chair. 1..2..no Sabu kicked out at the last second. Big Show picked Sabu up and went for the Choke Slam, but Sabu turned it into a ddt!! Sabu climbed to the top rope with the chair and hits Show with the Arabian Facebuster!!! Sabu makes the cover, but Show kicked out at the two count. Sabu then sets the chair up and hits Show with the Triple Jump Moonsault!!! Heyman's enforcers enter the ring and attack Sabu!!! Jericho runs down to the ring and helps Sabu fight them off. Heyman hit Jericho with the Low Blow and sends him to the outside. Show then hit Sabu with the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker!!! 1..2..3!! Big Show has successfully defended the title again!! Heyman is screwing everybody!!!

75, 77, 73

Overall Rating: 70

Thanks for you comments and I'm going to cut down on the sex jokes.

JP: great suggestions, but It's alittle out there... even for this diary.

I'm not even really trying to make this some big deal or anything like that, I'm just trying to have a good game on EWR and this is how I document, what I'm doing.

[SmokeouT]

WWE Smackdown! Preview

Just a couple days away from the Great American Bash and things are just heating up. Last week on Smackdown! King Booker sent Rey Mysterio packing and a new number one contender was named, Bobby Lashley. Theodore Long has booked Lashley and Chris Benoit to take on member's of the King's Court, William Regal and Finlay. King Booker will be in the house, will he be a factor in this match?

Also, Matt Hardy will be in action against Ken Kennedy!! The fued between Hardy and Joey Mathews rages on, will Hardy be ready for another sneak attack from the former WWE Tag Team Champion?

Gregory Helms puts his WWE Cruiserweight title on the line, against Funaki. Helms has grown more and more cocky as the week's come and go.

Also, tonight in the ring we will see Paul London taking on the Canadian Destroyer, Petey Williams. You know Eric Young will be in his corner and anything can happen.

The new team The Naturals will be in action against the The Pitbulls. All this and more on Friday Night Smackdown!!