Dreamworld.....

[Nerf]

Uhh, what IS the content of the diary, besides crappy shock tactics?

[Avenged Probably]

This is terrible, its distasteful, its vulgar, its crude, its offensive.....

yet I found myself liking it...

Theres blatantly something wrong with me... but I honestly enjoyed reading that.

To 'JP sousa is your daddy' - I'm pretty sure he doesn't care whether you read or not... and if he doesn't have your readership, then why are you still here moaning?

Give they guy a break, as far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong though) he isn't breaking any dome rules, so no complaining need be done, unless it is actual negative feedback with explanations for what you have said, and all due respect to some people who have done that.

All in all, if you don't like it.. you don't have to. So go away already.

If he enjoys writing it, then good for him.. I'm actually going to read, mainly because I'm sick and i think its pretty funny.

However i think a mod should add a warning of 'explicit content' or 'this may offend' to the thread title... to stop people moaning any more.

Edited August 27, 2006 by A.V.E.N.G.E.D.

[Sousa]

So because someone doesn't like what you're doing, we haven't read your diary?

what the hell are you on about? When, in my post, which I'll quote again for emphasis...

Thanks MDP but to be fair I don't really think I could complain about people "disgracing me" in my diary, when you look at the content of the diary itself. Not that anyone actually has, they've just stated their opinions on why they don't like it which is fair enough. I on the other hand do like it, and am enjoying it and for the first time in forever the show at no point felt like a chore to write.

.. did I insist that people haven't read my diary? I'll break my post down for you to make it simpler. I don't think I have the right to complain about people "disgracing" me with their comments in this diary, when you take into consideration what the content of the diary is in the first place. I then go on to point out that all anyoen's done, is give their opinions on my diary which is fair enough.

what was your point again?

From a grammatical standpoint, having the phrase "Not that anyone actually has" immediately after the phrase "when you look at the content of the diary itself" implies that no one has actually looked at the content of the diary. I'm sorry I took what you said the wrong way, but don't jump down my throat because I misinterpreted your confusing syntax.

And I hardly think I'm moaning--my comment was justified, given my interpretation of what I read, which, you see, was not off-base at all.

Edited August 27, 2006 by JP Sousa is Your Daddy

[Nerf]

I concur with everything JP is saying, even though I can't be fucked wasting my finger strength typing it in here.

[thatblindgeye]

Not TOO into the diary, even though I know it is just a fucking around kinda thing.

What people have to realize, is that this isnt a serious diary nor a diary meant to be funny. It is just Jayden fucking around with things. If you think the diary is that bad and is shit, then the back button is there. Not saying you shouldn't read it if you don't like it, but if you don't like it and think it's shit then hopefully you won't continue reading it.

[Your Mom]

Post the ratings for whatever program you are using from now on.

[Guest Preston]

lol at this. this is real funny shit that should be a fun read. i can see that you're only fucking around, so should everyone else. its as funny as it is sick, but i like it.

[jayden]

WWE Raw

Monday 4th September 2006

TV Rating: 6.87

Attendance: 7515

Last time on WWE….

Before the opening music clips were shown from Smackdown on Friday night, a cum drenched Matt Hardy; Kane saying “I fuck dead people”; New Jack stapling Finlay’s ball sack to his thigh; Candice eating Kelly’s pussy; the Miz turning on the light in the cupboard only to see the Spirit Squad surrounding him; Khali breaking Terry Funk’s back; Edge calling the Big Show a fattie; and then…

Triple H: Steph, get in the back you old trout, what are you doing out here?

Steph: I couldn’t, I, I couldn’t let you do that to Daddy. Imagine this little one, growing up without his Father. I had to stop you

Triple H: Don’t be stupid, it’s the WWE, I can beat people to death and hit them with sledgehammers here and never go to jail. Hell, I could of killed that old bastard just now and I’d only get booked in a grudge match against Shane at Unforgiven for it!

Steph: No, you don’t understand, you’re not the father Hunter!

HBK: Holy Mother of Murgatroyd, who the fuck is then?

Steph: It’s….. it’s…..

Triple H: Tell me you slutty cheating ho

Steph: It’s him!

The camera show Steph raising her arm and pointing straight at match official Charles Robinson!! Robinson looks startled as Steph tosses the baby to him, which he catches with real finesse, and steps up beside him

Steph: Charles Robinson, my heart pulses like the wings of a hummingbird for this man. While my desires went far beyond what little Hunter Junior could unleash inside me, Charles gave me everything you never could, including a DAUGHTER!

Triple H: Why you….. you brazen wench! Broken is my heart, shredded and abused at the hands of your dastardly fornication with this common man. How can I live a lifetime, knowing I’m doomed to go without your heavy, sagging bosom and flat manly bottom? If these eyes will never feast on your naked body again, remove yourself from my sight this instant, I cannot bear to look at you, either of you!

Steph leaves the ring as Charles tosses the baby out over the top, Steph catching like a pro before Charles leaves the ring alongside her

82

Chavo Guerrero Vs Kane

There was a narrow escape for an old lady who’d fallen asleep in the front row as Kane made his way out, waking up just as his eyes fixed on her thinking she may have passed away. Chavo was obviously no match for Kane because he’s about half his size so Kane beat him up and hit him with a big Chokeslam to get the win. Kane looked around him and then leapt down onto Chavo, starting to thrust his hips a little, looking like he was reaching for something in his tight, as Rey Mysterio came running out from the back.

Kane wins by pinfall

74, 77, 69

He’s not dead but I know a Guerrero who is…

Rey knelt down pleading with Kane, trying to point out that Chavo was in fact still breathing. Kane stopped thrusting his hips and began sniffing around Chavo’s genitalia, soon realising that none of Chavo’s body fluids had decided to leave his body and he was in fact very much alive.

Rey Mysterio: Kane what’s happened to you dawg!

Kane: I fuck dead people!

Rey Mysterio: Man I just came from a graveyard, laying some flowers and shit for Eddie, and I’m all upset. Stop being such a big insensitive monster

Kane: Graveyard, hmmmmm, I fuck dead people!

Kane left the ring as Rey helped Chavo up

82

Oriental oral!!!!

The Miz is backstage looking a little nervous in one of the locker rooms. Suddenly he hears some voices coming from the corridor, and it soon becomes apparent that it’s the Spirit Squad dragging and beating someone down the corridor

The Miz: Oh My GODDDDD! How can I avoid their spermy onslaught? Shit

The Miz looked around the room quickly, then saw a huge pile of wrestling gear in the corner of the room. He quickly buried himself under it, his eyes just visibly poking through a hole as the door flew open and the Spirit Squad bounced into the room like hunky little gymnasts. They dragged someone in with them, his hands tied behind his back. MIKE KNOX!!!!

Knox: You sick pervs, you’ll never get away with this!

Mikey and Kenny quickly fastened the ball gag around Knox’s face as all the Spirit Squad members took a step back, giggling like little Queen’s as Knox knelt there, tied and helpless

Mikey: 1…3….5…… GOOOOOO BUKKAKE!

The camera cut away as the Spirit Squad all reached for their pants

65

The Great Khali w/Daivari Vs Dory Funk Jr

After Khali crippled Dory’s Brother Terry on Smackdown, Dory had come in to fight Daivari’s giant monster. Dory looked like a frail old reject as Khali stepped over the top ropes and got into the ring. Dory stumbled across the ring and swung a feeble right hand at Khali, but Khali grabbed it, picking Dory up and throwing him down. A sickening snap was heard across the arena and Dory didn’t look like he was about to get up. Khali stood on his chest and the referee counted the three before EMT’s came out and strapped Dory to a gurney much like Terry last week.

Khali wins by pinfall

64, 70, 52

It was just a one night thang sista!

Candice is backstage in a bra and crotchless panties showing off her shaved love tunnel when Kelly Kelly barges into the room panting like a wild prairie dog. Candice turns around and see Kelly standing there in white hold up stockings, pink stiletto heels, and nothing else. Candice barely even looks impressed

Candice: Oh, hey Kelly, I’m just off to goose myself out, what do you want?

Kelly: On Smackdown you unleashed something inside of me Candice, I feel like a woman, I feel like all of a sudden I’m a big rampant ball of burning sexual desire that can only be quenched by you feeding my pussy dick and making me your filthy little bitchwhore

Candice: Err, yeah, like, great, but I’m sorry, I was just having fun with you last week and the whole world could see you were blatantly a dumb little girl with no fucking clue on how to be sexy. You needed dick, but I was just doing the world a favour! No repeat, sorry honey, laters!

Candice leaves the room as Kelly looks around frantically for something, anything to quell the burning inside of her. Kelly leaves the room as Coachman is walking past. She grabs him and thrusts him up against the wall, frantically ripping at his pants and unbuckling his belt seeing them fall to the ground

Coachman: Holy fuck, wh-what’s gotten into you?

Kelly: Nothing yet, now give me your hard, thick, powerful black dick and fuck me like an animal

Kelly yanked Coachman’s dick out of his pants and turned her back to him, putting her hands on the wall then reaching back for it, guiding it into her hot steamy fuckhole, yelping out as it went forced her lips apart

Kelly: Ohhh God, fuck me Candice, fuck me like a bitch, make me bark!

Coachman: Uhhhhhh, wait a minute, my name’s not…… oh what the fuck

Coachman grabbed a hold of Kelly’s hair and started pounding her pussy like a piston

61

Fookin’ Blackies!

New Jack is shaving his face with a big motherfucker of a knife somewhere backstage when Little Bastard jumps out of nowhere and lands in front of New Jack

Little Bastard: Nigger Nigger Nigger! Nigger Nigger Nigger! Nerr Nerr Nerr Nerrr Nerr, Nigger Nigger Nigger! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

New Jack: What the fuck? Faget ass little pussy midget bitch dog, you don’t ever call a man a nigga, you just do NOT call a man a Nigga!

Little Bastard: Nigger Nigger Nigger! Nigger Nigger Nigger! Nerr Nerr Nerr Nerrr Nerr, You’re a dirty Nigger!

Little Bastard turned and ran away as New Jack chased after him. Little Bastard ran round the corner and as New Jack followed he got knocked out by a hard right hand by Lance Cade, before Cade and Finlay started a vicious beatdown on New Jack while Little Bastard played trampoline on New Jack’s face

Finlay: Fookin Blackies!

67

Trish Stratus Vs Randy Orton

After Orton blatantly insulted Trish on Smackdown calling her a cunt, she asked for this match with Orton on Raw. Orton was cocky as fuck and had good reason to be as he bitchslapped Trish around the ring. She tried to kick him in the head but Orton grabbed her leg, spat in her face, and bitch slapped her in the face sending her falling backwards. Orton pushed her against the ropes and tied her arms up in them. Trish snarled at him, angry and desperate to get free as Orton stepped up with a smirk on his face and grabbed her between the legs. Carlito came charging out from the back looking to save the day and make amends for upsetting Trish on Smackdown. He got up into the ring and shoved Orton off, beating him back across the ring. Carlito charged at Orton but Orton ducked his clothesline and as Carlito ran back off the ropes he hadn’t seen Trish wriggle free, colliding with her head to head and knocking her to the mat. Orton made the cover and got the win as Carlito held his head in his hands in the aisle realising his mistake

Orton wins by pinfall

78, 87, 58

OH MY GODDDD Save yourself Miz!!!!!!

The Spirit Squad were all standing with their back to the camera, frantically pumping their arms in front of them. Kenny seemed to be standing even further in front of the group as through the gaps a degraded, Mike Knox was on his knees. The Spirit Squad seemed to be chanting

Spirit Squad: GO KENNY, GO KENNY, GO KENNY, GOOOOOO KENNY!

With that Kenny groaned out as Mike Knox seemed to be mumbling louder behind the ball gag. In an instant the Miz leapt out from the pile of wrestling gear, sending it crashing across the room and startling every member of the Spirit Squad. They all stopped, staring at the Miz for a second as he sprinted out of the room not looking back for an instant. The Spirit Squad quickly started fumbling with their pants trying to put their little winkles away before turning and giving chase. Knox was left in the room, his face a slimey gooey cum splattered mess, bits already starting to congeal in his facial hair as a trickles of thick gloopy jizz leaked from his chin

59

A time for family

Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon, along with Triple H were all sitting in an office backstage.

Vince: Hunter, I know we’ve had our differences, but at times like these we need to pull together, you’re FAMILY DAMMIT! If you think I’m gonna let that snivelling little puke Charles Robinson bring up my Granddaughter you’ve got another thing coming! I always knew she’d have a trashbag cuntwhore for a Mother, but at least deep down in my heart I always knew she’d have a strong Father, a real man, like her Grandfather to bring her up

Triple H: vince I just, I mean I know I have a match tonight for the world title but, I don’t know how I can go on right now, my battered, broken heart that I gave to her so lovingly, unconditionally to take care of for eternity, this [Hunter sobs like a pussy] it’s just, so many times I’ve looked into those big beautiful e…..

Vince: Yes, yes, whatever, so, how do we get MY granddaughter back from that little twerp?

Linda: I have an idea

Vince: You? Like fuck do you!

Linda: No, hear me out, and if you aint down with that, I got two words for ya…. SPIRIT SQUAD!!!!

Vince: Yes, yesssss, I like it, somebody get me the Spirit Squad in here DAMMIT! GET ME THE SPIRIT SQUAD NOW! I SAID NOWW!!!!!

81

WWE Heavyweight Title: Edge w/Lita Vs Triple H

Hunter got a big shock when he made his way out, as the referee was none other than wife stealing stud, Charles Robinson. Robinson even had the nerve to wear a ref’s shirt with the words “I Fucked Your Wife” on the front! Hunter just held his head in his hands, tears streaming down his face as Edge came out and started attacking him. Triple H tried to fight back a little but really didn’t look like he had any fight left in him as Edge bounced out of the corner with a running hug as Robinson gleefully made the three count and handed Edge the belt. Stephanie came straight out to gloat, carrying the baby under her arm like a football, tossing it into the ring as Robinson caught it. Steph got into the ring and Hunter was straight at her feet, a snivelling wreck in front of her, sobbing all over her shoes. To make matters worse Robinson grabbed Steph by the hand and kissed her passionately, rubbing the proverbial salt viciously into Hunter’s open wounds.

Edge and Lita made their way backstage with the WWE title belt but the Big Show came out to cut him off. Edge paused for a second then shoved little Miss Mongoloid into him. The Big Show picked Lita up and tossed her hard across the arena, her nose looked bust as blood pissed out of it. The Big Show chased Edge back to the ring, who quickly grabbed the baby away from Steph, holding it in front of the Big Show, trying to get him to back off

Edge wins by pinfall

88, 91, 83

Edge: Come on fattie, you wouldn’t hit a man holding a baby?

Booker T, dressed up like a King, stepped out from the back with a mic and yelled down to the ring

Booker: Yo pizzle fo ya wizzle, nizzle mah jizzle, tizzle?

Would the Big Show put an end to the inevitably tortured existence of Steph’s little bitch? Would the Spirit Squad get their hands on little twink, the Miz? What the hell did Booker T just say? Tune into ECW tomorrow night to find out!

Overall Show: 74

Edited August 28, 2006 by jayden

[MDP]

Oh my god, I've never laughed constently through a show before, and I just did there. Thats was great. I love this keep going. Kane is hilarious. The Spirit Squad has a great angle, and Triple H being turned into a whiney pussy is gold.

[Draevyn]

Disgusting? Distasteful? Seriously here folks. However, I will say that it was soooo stupid that it actually had me laughing at most of it. It's almost like Punkrockpete's sense of humor, which can be weird and funny all in it's own.

[Doc Funky]

Trish stormed off screen as Carlito chased after her, Orton looking straight into the camera with his hand holding his jaw

Orton: Man those cunts just fucking love me

Edited August 28, 2006 by Doc Funky

[Guest Preston]

its simply amazing, and hilarious. orton is down perfectly. i love the OTT swearing and just everything about this in general. people are hating on it for some stupid reason.

[Xero Gravity]

Charles Robinson = Pimp

The Finlay/New Jack stuff is by far my favourite part of the shows, and it needs to end in New Jack Vs. Little Bastard in some kind of sick deathmatch

[Nerf]

I'll admit it, I lol'd @ RAW.

[nihilist]

More power to you! I found this funny in places (the HHH turning into a pussy and the complete trainwreck that was the Raw main event, and I did laugh at the Finlay/Little Bastard/New Jack segment...), which is always a good sign! Can't complain about the writing, it's very well written despite its subject matter( and even then...it's cool matter lol).

Like I'm thinking, ignore the whiners.

[Sousa]

*sigh*

I swear, some of you need to learn the difference between "whining" and "expressing a legitimate complaint."

Anyway, I read the second Raw. I still don't care for the style, but it looks like I'm in the pretty vast minority, so I'll let it be. It's only a forum post--nothing worth getting bent out of shape over.

[jayden]

WWE ECW

Tuesday 5th September 2006

TV Rating: 3.85

Attendance: 7535

Drunken Mattitude

The show kicks straight off with previously bukkake’d Matt Hardy staggering out from the back and interrupting. He reaks of piss and special brew as he sways about with a trusty bottle of Jim Beam in his hand. He takes a swing at an old lady in the front row who niftily ducks and punches him on the nose with a hard left hand before he stumbles up into the ring

Hardy: You laffin at me? laff all ya want *hic* but how would you like it if five blokes shot cum all over your *hic* face *hic*. Fuck off the lot of ya. That feck’n Spirit Squad, I’ll ave em, I will! They drove me to this, degrading little fuckers. Ooh, hello my lovely

Matt notices Lillian Garcia standing outside the ring looking hot as fuck

Hardy: *hic* and who might you be then, hey?

Matt stops for a second and takes a big swig out of his 2/3 empty Jim Beam bottle before carrying on

Hardy: Get in here ya *hic* little *hic* latino spunkmuncher

Lillian looks disgusted and backs even further away from the ring

Hardy: C’mon *hic*, don’t be like that, or I’ll have to *hic* come find ya while ya all alone *hic**hic* later, and give ya some a that surprise sex. Come on cuntflaps, get ya tits out, get ya tits out, get ya tits out for the lads!

Matt stopped, starting to cough before putting his hands on his knees and puking all over the mat, drenching it in thick dark brown vomit before turning back to her. Matt got no chance to speak though as he got cut off by Ric Flair’s music

Flair: That’s no way to treat a lady pal, look at you Hardy, you’re a disgrace. FIVE!…… GUYS!…… SPUNKED!……. YOUR FACE! So now awww, poor poor Matt Hardy can’t be the man, well tonight, WOOOOO to be the man, ya gotta beat the man so I’m gonna do ya a favour little pisshead, you and me tonight, come be a man Hardy WOOOOOO! And Lillian, get that sweet little Latino ass in the back for a rimming, WOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOO! GO! LILLIAN! GO! RIMJOB! GO!!!

90

New Jack Vs Lance Cade w/Finlay & Little Bastard

Cade came out for the match tonight with a rather stylish white robe and hood, with the eyes cut out, which he took off as he got to the ring and had Finlay and Little Bastard by his side. New Jack was an angry motherfucker and bought a shitload of weapons with him. Cade and Finlay jumped all over him and started trying to beat him down but New Jack fought back, grabbing Finlay’s nuts and crushing them in his hand before grabbing Cade’s head and undoing his pants. New Jack shoved his nuts in Cade’s face and started humping the shit out of it. Little Bastard charged at New Jack but he punted him into the front row before pushing down harder and grounding Cade, fucking his face into the mat and getting the three count. Finlay got back and smashed New Jack in the back of the head with hardback copy of Mein Kampf as the whiteboys stood tall, well, bar Cade who was on his knees coughing and spluttering and trying to get the taste of New Jack’s sweaty nuts off his tongue

New Jack wins by pinfall

68, 66, 70

Spunkbomb on a poll

The Spirit Squad hopped gaily to the ring, bouncing about and grabbing each others butts

Nicky: Sweeties, all I keep hearing all week long is [does very manly voice]”what the fuck are you little Gaylords up to?”[/voice]. Well, Kenny’s got a little story for you all

Kenny: Thanks sista, listen up, back in feudal Japan, like, woman would cheat on their men.

Mikey: Ooooo, filthy little bitches

Kenny: Honey, please! So yeah, when these women would cheat on their men, right, all the men in the village, even like, the really old crusty ones, would take the woman up to a cave and tie her up. Then they’d all take it in turns to ejaculate over their dirty little faces.

Johnny: Dirty little ho’s, they got what they deserved

Kenny: Sure did darling, and like, they’d all be sooooooooo degraded and shamed that mostly they’d cut themselves open to end their life right afterwards. Now, you may wonder why we’re carrying out this little ritual all these years later but it’s really simple.

Mitch: Yeah, see, everyone ready?

they all get into position and do a funky little cheerdance

All: Q-E-EE-R! WE’LL SHOOT CUM FROM NEAR OR FAR! DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! WE’LL BUKKAKE ANYWAY! GOOOOO BUKKAKE!

Kenny: Yayyyy! But what we especially like are little twinks. We’re sooooo not into bears, like that hairy Mike Knox last week, yuck, I could barely get my little winkle shooting anything over that thing, but twinks, mmmmm. Cute, smooth, feminine little bumboys, oooooooh, give us a twink!

Mitch: Yeah, like that little Miz! Look honey, we know you don’t want our cum, but the thought of you all drenched and sticky, covered in our gloppy manjuice just makes my anus all tingley. You can’t keep running forever little Mizzy, so we’ve, well, Johnny, had an idea

Johnny: Oooo honey, you know you want it too. Unforgiven little twinker, get that cute little butt there and bring a partner and we’ll give you a shot at our tag team titles. You win, you get the belts and you avoid our spunk, but you lose and you’re getting drenched cutie because it’s going down spunkbomb on a poll style!

Johnny pointed into the air where a huge waterbomb looking thing, full of gloopy messy spunk hung from the arena roof, conveniently hanging there throughout the rest of the show

70

My pussy is burning, it’s burning!

Kelly Kelly is backstage trying on some panties and fingering her snatch when a door opens and Candice comes in wearing nothing

Candice: What the fuck? You’re flicking your bean in my fucking panties? What the fuck are you doing in here?

Kelly: It’s my pussy, it’s burning, my pussy is burning, burning, burning, my pussy pussy, it’s burning

Candice: Like, yeah, great, you know what, just have the fucking panties, but stop following me around

Candice left the room as Kelly leant back against the wall, closing her eyes and started to rub the panties into her fuckhole. As she started to moan the Boogeyman appeared from out of nowhere and slithered up the wall next to her, getting into her face, slobbering worms everywhere

Boogeyman: I’m the BOOGEYMAN, and I’m coming, to GET YA!

Kelly: Ooooo, good, well get this, it’s my pussy, my pussy, it’s burning, my pussy is burning, burning, burning, my pussy pussy, it’s burning

Kelly reached for the Boogeyman’s pants and quickly pulled his fat cock out, pulling it into her gaping hole and screaming out

Kelly: Oh Candice, Candiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

68

Matt Hardy Vs Ric Flair

Matt staggered out pissed as fuck, still carrying his bottle of Jim Beam, even though this time it was completely empty. Flair came out to the ring and Matt started swinging at him like a loon, Flair’s saggy old body struggled to get out of the way and Matt smashed the Jim Beam bottle on the ring post, turned around, and stabbed Flair in the face with it. Flair dropped to the mat and pissed Hardy fell on top of him as the referee counted the three, half of Flair’s face hanging off as blood pissed from his face

Hardy wins by pinfall

75, 77, 71

Crippleshit’s on the attack

The Great Khali is backstage hanging around aimlessly in a corridor with Daivari when a strange whirring noise starts to come from the other end of the corridor. They both turn round and see two electric wheelchairs steaming towards them at about 2k/ph.

Khali: Hmmmph uhhhmph KERLEEE

Daivari: Fuckin’ SPAZ CHARIOTS?

Terry Funk, and Dory Funk Jr were in the chairs and drove them straight into Khali’s legs. Khali stared at them for a second them kicked both of them over onto their sides, spilling the two little crippleshits onto the floor

Daivairi: Hahahaha, head on a stick motherfucker’s, you remember who put you in those little cripplebuggies!

Daivari and Khali walked off leaving the two cripples spazzing out on the floor

Terry: Neerrrrrr, ehhhh, can’t get up, mehhhh, uhhhhhh

Dory: Errrrrrrr-errrrrrrrr-meeeehhhhhh-phlerrr

57

Mmmmmm, I always knew she’d be tasty

Torrie Wilson is standing backstage doing what she does best, fuck all, when Estrada steps up behind her and startles her, as Umaga stands by her side

Estrada: Mmmm, you look like a lovely piece of meat for Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumaga

Torrie: Yeah, whatever, what the…. AHHHHHHHH

Umaga pushed Torrie up against the wall and bit a chunk out of her shoulder, chewing fast and frantically munching on her body before ripping her arm out of its socket and wolfing that down hungrily. Estrada cheered on encouragement, enjoying seeing his monster devouring a tasty and nutritious snack

65

Carlito & Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James & Gregory Helms

Carlito and Trish didn’t seem to be talking after Raw, she was in a right strop, but they worked together a little bit early on in the match. Trish and Mickie both tumbled through the ropes to the outside and while Carlito and Helms fought in the ring Randy Orton came out from the back wearing an “Cunts fucking love me” t shirt. As Trish and Mickie were both laid out, Orton knelt down, grabbing both their minges at once. Mickie seemed a little out of it but started smiling, as did Trish, until she came properly around and sat up, seeing Orton with a couple of fingers sunk into her cunt. Carlito came out of the ring and shoved Orton off and as an angry Trish tried to hit Orton with the chick kick, he ducked and she laid out Carlito. Orton tossed Trish back into the ring, then spat on Mickie, before leaving as Helms pinned Trish in the ring.

Mickie & Helms win by pinfall

74, 77, 68

Can I be your partner, can I, please?

The Miz is standing backstage looking a little nervous when Gail Kim walks up to him

Kim: Hey twinky!

Miz: Stop fucking calling me that, what do you want?

Kim: Well, I’m blatantly an oriental spunkslut, look at me, bukkake’s my middle name. You want a partner for Unforgiven, and I want bucketloads of hot filthy spunk, so what ya say little twinker?

Miz: Seriously, stop fucking calling me that. Nobody else is gonna take the match, man, I’m screwed, fuck it, you’ll do!

61

V-I-NC-E GOOOOO VINCE!

Vince McMahon with Triple H at his side walked into the Spirit Squad’s changing room.

Vince: I’ve got a little family problem that needs taking care of, that, that thing you do, with your, that thing…

Spirit Squad: Q-E-EE-R! WE’LL SHOOT CUM FROM NEAR OR FAR! DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY! WE’LL BUKKAKE ANYWAY! GOOOOO BUKKAKE

Vince: Yes yes that, we need a little help from you, with that, that little twerp Charles Robinson impregnated by daughter, give him that bukkake thing, NOW! NOW! DO IT NOW DAMMIT!

Kenny: Ooooh you sound so manly when you talk like that Mr McMahon, we’ll get right to it

Vince: Come on, lets get the little fucker, Hunter, come on

Triple H: Alas, these eyes cannot cast their dying gaze on the man who took my love from me, my one true *sob* love, , I know someday she’ll have a beautiful life, I know she’ll be the sun, in somebody elses sky, but why?

Vince: Oh stick a cock in it and shut the fuck up you snivelling little bitch

Mikey started reaching for his pants looking to provide the cock

Vince: NOT YOU, YOU IDIOT! We’ve got things to do, MOVE!!!

The Spirit Squad and Vince left Hunter crying and ran though the corridors quickly finding Steph’s locker room, where they hoped to find Steph and Robinson. The room was empty as Vince flung the door open and charged inside. The Spirit Squad stepped in behind him, and as Vince heard one of them shut the door behind them he turned around

Vince: What, now wait just a minute, YOU CAN’T, I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!

Kenny and Nicky quickly fastened the ballgag around Vince’s face as he mumbled and tried to fight, but with two men holding him and tying him up he had no chance. All five men quickly reached for their pants, taking out their cocks and starting to pump like there was no tomorrow, a terrified look on Vince’s face as Nicky was the one to shoot the first load of Vince’s head, thick gooey spunk splattering against his forehead and trickling down into his eyes

68

Edge & Lita Vs Booker T & Sharmell

Both men came out with their world title belts, and their bitches for this one. Edge shoved Lita into the ring to fight King Booker as it started and he duly kicked the shit out of her, putting her over his knee and spanking her shemale ass. Booker T started laying in the punches and Lita’s face was soon a bloody mess but her never say die attitude meant that Booker was quickly punching himself out on her. Booker swung a final, lazy right hand that sent Lita tumbling across the ring into Edge. Edge got into the ring and hit Booker with a running hug to get the win as the Big Show came out from the back. The Big Show got up into the ring and hit Sharmell with a big backhand that sent her sprawling to the floor. He booted Lita in the face and then went for Booker and Edge. The two men fought back though and managed to take the Big Show over for a suplex that shook the ring. So much so in fact, that as everyone in the ring looked up they saw the huge spunkbomb started to wobble. There was no time to get out of the way as it split and gallons of thick messy jizz showered the ring and everything in it. Lita tried to get to her feet but fell straight back into the sloppy mess, sliding across the ring as the show came to a close.

Edge & Lita win by pinfall

73, 80, 57

Overall Rating: 70

Edited August 29, 2006 by jayden

[Draevyn]

*sigh*

I swear, some of you need to learn the difference between "whining" and "expressing a legitimate complaint."

Anyway, I read the second Raw. I still don't care for the style, but it looks like I'm in the pretty vast minority, so I'll let it be. It's only a forum post--nothing worth getting bent out of shape over.

No, we know your legitimate complaint, we just think it's unwarranted. If you get "offended" by a diary, then you're way too easily offended. If he was trying to make this a "serious" idea fine, but he's already stated that this is just for fun, and meant for those with that kind of sense of humor, so your legit complaint, no matter how legit it is, is null and void. He's stated what he's going for, so really, your only choice is to not read it.

[Sousa]

No, we know your legitimate complaint, we just think it's unwarranted. If you get "offended" by a diary, then you're way too easily offended. If he was trying to make this a "serious" idea fine, but he's already stated that this is just for fun, and meant for those with that kind of sense of humor, so your legit complaint, no matter how legit it is, is null and void. He's stated what he's going for, so really, your only choice is to not read it.

I'm sorry I'm still hanging around here like the proverbial bad stink, but I feel like I need to try to save face here, especially if I hope to find readership for my upcoming diary (I don't want to just be known as "that queazy guy who tried to get the bukkake diary shut down," after all.). I never said I was offended--not once. Quote me saying I was offended; you won't find it. All I said was that I didn't find his particular brand of humor funny, and I felt there were others who'd agree with me. It turns out, it seems, that I was wrong. I humbly stand down and allow the low-brow to continue.

However, know this: all I have offered in this thread is my opinion. I have not fought against anything that I felt wasn't directed toward me, I have not insulted the author, and I have made no effort to make any enemies. I'm upset that I'm being made out to be at best a whiner, and at worst someone who's trying to use his personal hang-ups to get a thread shut down. That's not the case at all. If this were a paper turned in for one of my classes, then yes, I'd say stop now. However, it's a forum post, and I haven't gotten bent out of shape about it.

Jayden, I'm sorry for putting all of this in your diary comments, but I hope you understand that I want to be taken seriously, and I sure as hell don't want to be written off as a whiner. What you're seeing here is just my attempt to save face.

And for the record, when Finlay hit New Jack with Mein Kampf, I nearly choked on my soda laughing.

[Xero Gravity]

This just keeps getting better with each show.

The New Jack/Finlay stuff still rocks, and I couldn't stop laughing when New Jack teabagged Cade into the pinfall. Drunken Matt Hardy is cool too, as long as he keeps stabbing random people with broken bottles. The Kelly/Candice stuff is still a little odd, but then it's a diva segment so it doesn't matter a whole lot. Thanks to crippling Terry and Dory Jr., I've become a fan of Great Khali. I loved the mental image of the Funks "charging" at him, only to have Khali twat them away like flies. Umaga the cannibal? As long as he continues to eat wastes of space like Torrie, it can't fail to be a good thing. Emo Triple H is quickly becoming my new favourite character, especially after this show.

The only thing I really don't care for is the Bukkake Squad, but that's simply because I hate the Spirit Squad to begin with and I'd like to see them die . That being said....

Triple H: Alas, these eyes cannot cast their dying gaze on the man who took my love from me, my one true *sob* love, , I know someday she’ll have a beautiful life, I know she’ll be the sun, in somebody elses sky, but why?

Vince: Oh stick a cock in it and shut the fuck up you snivelling little bitch

Mikey started reaching for his pants looking to provide the cock

Vince: NOT YOU, YOU IDIOT! We’ve got things to do, MOVE!!!