WWE 2007 - Certain Tragedy

RPS · September 4, 2006

WWE 2007 : Certain Tragedy

August 25th, 2006 was the date it all went down.

As he arose from his seat, he eyed down the nearest flight attendant. He felt the sweat drip down his face, the phlegm sitting at the back of his mouth, his eyes darting back and forth from the passengers on the plane. A booming voice bolted from his side, in fact the man sitting beside him. It was Vince McMahon. With his patented smile and a hint of sarcasm in his voice he asked, ”is there a problem Paul?”

Paul Michael LeVesque looked down at his father-in-law, and with a smile he dismissed the comment. Vince knew that Paul hated flying. It was the least favorite part of his journey for the trips overseas. The fans overseas were eager to consume their product, Paul loved to explore the sights and sounds that the world have to offer, and sometimes liked a break from North America. But he hated the flying. For a man who was used to having all the control in the world in his hands, flying was the anti-thesis. The lack of control drove him crazy and Paul knew this. Paul sat back down in his seat, grabbing the chairs of the seat, trying to look relaxed. He spoke up, “you know I hate flying, Vince.”

Vince nodded his head. Vince didn’t seem bothered by the comment and attempted to pick up where they left of in their conversation. “You said you had some plans, Paul. Some big plans for RAW.”

Paul dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “We can deal with it later, Vince. I hate discussing business on a flight. My head isn’t in the game… it is somewhere else. I am kind of worried…”

Vince looked up, with a look of surprise in his face. The man known as Triple H was worried about something. Perhaps the surprise came from the stable and secure position Paul had held in the company for quite some time, but Vince had never heard Paul worry about anything. Vince was jubliant, finally watching his son-in-law squirm like Vince had every single day while he ran the wrestling promotion. Vince spoke up, “what are you worried about?”

“Well, a few things, Vince. First, Steph,” Paul spoke up, “How do you think she handled the first week without me by her side?”

Vince chuckled, and than spoke up trying to make out the words in between bursts of laughter, “you are worried about Steph? Paul, you’ve got nothing to worry about. She is a McMahon. Linda raised those kids to be strong and I gave them a role model to be proud of. Stephanie can handle one baby for one week by herself. Us boys need to get out, every once and a while.”

The plane shook, and Paul instantly grabbed for his seat belt and strapped it in. Vince looked over at Paul, who was livid with fear. For the first time ever, Vince worried about the sanity of his son in law. Vince leaned over and grabbed Paul by the shoulder, forcing him to turn and face him. Vince looked him in the eye and said, “boy, do we need to get you a drink!”

That was the last thing Paul wanted. After the brief bout of turbulence was over, Paul stood up and decided to walk around. Vince tried to coax him into having a drink, but Paul refused. He stood up, and walked around the plane. The RAW wrestlers and staff were scattered throughout the plane – a few ECW wrestler’s were mixed in between two. Rob Van Dam and Sabu, oddly managed to be seated together in coach. They definitely managed to coerce another passenger to switch them places – RVD had a smooth, almost suave way of getting what he wanted. Sabu, on the other hand, was pretty incoherent when it came to getting what he wanted. The other ECW wrestler, the Big Show, was seated beside a tiny Asian woman, who looked incredibly uncomfortable. Paul Heyman had accompanied the trip for a pure on-screen role.

Mick Foley was seated beside Rob Conway – and Paul almost felt bad for Mick. The two of them had been through so much in the company and tonight was Mick last few dates with the company. Paul always felt humble for what Mick had done for him, but never expressed it. Paul almost felt like tonight was the night to express those hidden feelings, but he felt it wasn’t the right place.

Absent from the plane ride was Jeff Hardy, Carlito and Val Venis – all of whom had passport troubles and were unable to board the flight. Paul could only imagine the internet headlines now – Jeff Hardy detained at the Heathrow for possession of a banned substance. They would eat that shit up with a spoon.

Paul returned to his first class seat and sat down beside Vince McMahon. He decided it was time to strap himself down, as he was getting nauseous from the plane ride. Vince McMahon had placed a drink in front of him the second he sat down. McMahon cracked a smile and rubbed Paul on the shoulders. Vince spoke up, “you need to calm down, Paul. What is the worst that could happen?”

As the words left Vince’s mouth, he couldn’t realize how wrong he could be. Paul heard the murmurs, followed by a scream. Paul had seconds to think before the blast. He was knocked back in his chair as he felt the heat surround him. Paul was knocked out for a few seconds before he came too. The plane was experience major turbulence, and he could see just ahead a gigantic fire. He looked over and Vince was bleeding from his head and slumped over. Paul looked out the window and saw that the plane was plummeting, and from what Paul could see, the plane’s wing was separating from the plane.

Paul detached his seat belt and attempted to stand up in the aisle, but the force of gravity shoved him to the front of the plane. As Paul fell towards the front of the plane, he managed to grab ahold of a chair and hold on. Paul looked over and saw that the windows of the plane were cracking. Within seconds, the left side of the plane had a hole in it, and passengers were being ripped from the plane. Paul was holding on for dear life, when he looked over and saw the shock and awe in the eyes of Mick Foley. With children and a wife at home, with one more tour, Mick Foley didn’t belong in this mess. As Paul looked over, he tried to yell something at Foley. But he lost his grip, and Paul was ripped from the plane. As he plummeted towards the ground, Paul could only think of the regrets he held. That although he was a father, he wouldn’t witness the first steps, or be there for graduation or there wedding. Paul tried to say a prayer for himself, his friends, family and co-workers. But it was all over. Nothing he could do could have prevented the tragedy. Nothing could have been done to prevent the deaths of numerous people on the single greatest terrorist attack since September 11th.

***

Nothing could have prepared WWE for the tragedy that would unfold on August 25th, 2006. One third of the WWE active roster would be killed by a terrorist attack. There was no survivors. After, many of the top name talent who had stayed with the company stated they could no longer continue after such events. The Undertaker, Chris Benoit, Al Snow, John Bradshaw Layfield were among these. Their grief would not allow them to continue in the business, and given their age and financial security they were able to retire. With the exception of the Undertaker, none of the wrestler’s would ever appear on WWE programming. Kurt Angle had been released due to personal problems prior to the accident. The stress and grief from the accident caused his problems to spiral out of control to the point of no return. Other wrestler’s used the time to heal their wounds, to take time off the road to be with family and to gather themselves after such a huge tragedy. In October, the WWE held a month worth of memorial shows to be broadcast during Monday Night RAW timeslot. This featured interviews filmed prior to the accident from the deceased wrestler’s and post accident interviews from co-workers, family and friends. It also marked the first time TNA and WWE ever worked together as the likes of Jeff Jarrett, the Dudleyz, Rhino, Christian Cage, among other WWE alumini showed up to pay their respects.

There was matches to pay respects to the fallen wrestlers, as the Dudleyz squared off against the Hardy Boyz, Chris Benoit taking on a returning Lance Storm for one final match, and Batista taking on King Booker for the World Heavyweight Champion. Batista managed to win the title, which he dedicated to his best friends in the world, Ric Flair and Triple H, and he said that he would never ever be the same without them. Batista stated he was hoping they were watching from heaven, because he wanted to make them proud. The fans were in tears as Batista was barely able to hold back tears. But the most emotional segment was an interview with Carlito, Jeff Hardy and Val Venis describing their time overseas and their last minutes with the victims. Jeff Hardy stated that he became a changed man, kicking his drug habit, after God blessed him with his life. Hardy was in tears and stated that he wished that he could bring his friends back too life because he wasn’t sure if he could continue on being a wrestler without them.

At the end of the memorial month, it was announced that the WWE would forge on in the New Year and that they hoped the tragedy they had experienced would allow for the WWE to return, stronger than ever. It was advertised that their first show back would feature regular WWE programming, as it felt that the memorial shows would help settle the past and lead to the future. It was also announced that the WWE would even the brands by shifting wrestler’s from ECW, SD!, and OVW too RAW in order to help even the brands out.

The wrestling world anticipated Monday, January 1st 2007 – the return of RAW and the WWE too the wrestling world.

*EDIT: I am an idiot. Hahaha.*

Edited September 6, 2006 by PunkRockPete

tsydrown · September 4, 2006

I like how you made Triple H 'human'! And a nice backstory, looking forward to it...

Nelson · September 4, 2006

I like the backstory, it's got me hooked straight away. Will be interesting to see who you put on RAW, I kind of thought you maybe going with just two brands, lets say WWE Smackdown feat. RAW and ECW. But you've got a reader here.

Adam · September 4, 2006

Nice backstory man, its interesting with the Triple H stuff, although they do make flights to plenty of places around the US as well as overseas, so Triple H would have a real problem wouldnt he? Anyway, good start, looks solid

EDIT: Who exactly died on the plane trip besides Flair and Triple H anyway? And thats tight on Flair as well lol, after surviving that plane crash 30 years ago!

Edited September 4, 2006 by 1PWCorino

Momo · September 4, 2006

Excellent backstory man. I like how you still managed to portray Vince as an arsehole, even in a subtle way. I'm not sure about the WWE/TNA collaboration. I just don't see that as ever happening. Great work though and i can't wait for your first show.

EddieG · September 4, 2006

So unrealistic backstory

Well it isn't really but surely Vince would've been on his private jet

But I do like it so far.. can't wait to see more

fatal1tystr1kes · September 4, 2006

Possibly post a list of all the people whom are gone? Just to give me a visual picture. And fantastic backstory, by the way.

Safety_Rich · September 5, 2006

i thought RVD and Sabu were on the plane? Did they survive?

ROZAY · September 5, 2006

Definetly an interesting, unique backstory. I'll wait for your next update to see the details, but I'm interested right off the bat, so that's a good thing. You wrote the backstory very well, and hopefully that continues through out the diary.

Good job (Y)

Only In Dreams · September 5, 2006

That backstory was good man, the way that you made Triple H seem so worried, as if he actually knew something was about to happen on the flight.

But, like everyone else is asking to be done, if you do not mind, please give us a list of wrestlers who lost there life on that plane crash, because I am trying to figure out who did.

Was it the entire Raw Roster? Or was it just a handful of people?

Other than that, you got a reader, and cannot wait to read more.

Benjamin · September 5, 2006

Who was actually on the plane? I don't really know who died, who survived, etc.

Interesting backstory, waiting to see what happens next...

RPS · September 5, 2006

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT

Start date … January 1st 2007

Starting Roster’s

RAW

Active

Carlito Caribbean Cool

Chris Master’s

Chuck Palumbo

Harry Smith

Jeff Hardy

Val Venis

ECW

Active

Balls Mahoney

C.M. Punk

Christopher W. Anderson

Danny Basham

Doug Basham

Hardcore Holly

Justin Credible

Kevin Thorn

Little Guido

Matt Striker

Mike Knox

Renee Dupree

Roadkill

Sandman

Shannon Moore

Stevie Richards

Test

Tommy Dreamer

Tony Mamaluke

SD!

Active

Batista

Big Vito

Bobby Lashley

The Boogeyman

Brian Kendrick

Chavo Guerrero

Elijah Burke

Fit Finlay

Gregory Helms

Idol Steven’s

Jamie Noble

Joey Mercury

Jimmy Yang

K.C Jame’s

Mr. Ken Kennedy

Kid Kash

King Booker

Matt Hardy

Mike the Miz

Paul London

Paul Birchall

Psicosis

Rey Mysterio

Scotty 2 Hotty

Sho Funaki

Super Crazy

Sylvan

Sylvester Terkay

Tatanka

The MVP

William Regal

(NOTE: For those questioning who are the deceased wrestler's - keeping in mind these are the purely on-screen roles - the ENTIRE RAW wrestling roster (except Hardy, CCC, and Val Venis and those who were inactive,) the RAW Divas, RAW managers, Mick Foley, Ric Flair, Jonathan Coachman, Rob Van Dam, Sabu, the Big Show, Paul Heyman, Jim Ross and Jerry the King Lawler and Vince McMahon.) As written above, the Undertaker, Chris Benoit, JBL, Al Snow all departed due to personal reasons. Kurt Angle was released prior to the date and did not return.)

Title’s

World Heavyweight Championship – Batista

World Tag-Team Champions – Vacant

Intercontinental Champion – Vacant

Women’s Champion – Vacant

Cruiserweight Champion – Gregory Helm’s

(NOTE: All titles have been unified with their respected equals and they have been vacated. The Cruiserweight title has not, because there was no equal. The World Heavyweight Champion was crowned at the WWE Memorial Shows.)

Royal Rumble

Sunday, January 28th 2007

No matches scheduled.

Edited September 5, 2006 by PunkRockPete

Benjamin · September 5, 2006

Why was Batista handed the World Title without any competition? WTF is up with that?!

fatal1tystr1kes · September 6, 2006

^ "(NOTE: All titles have been unified with their respected equals and they have been vacated. The Cruiserweight title has not, because there was no equal. The World Heavyweight Champion was crowned at the WWE Memorial Shows.)"

Also, it was in the backstory.

BurningBeard · September 6, 2006

The only thing I'm confused about is how Sabu and Rob Van Dam wrestled each other at the memorial show if they were dead...

kempay · September 6, 2006

The only thing I'm confused about is how Sabu and Rob Van Dam wrestled each other at the memorial show if they were dead...

RPS · September 8, 2006

WWE Monday Night RAW

Monday, January 1st 2007

“The return of RAW in the New Year!”

The show starts off with a slick, brand new opening video. The new video includes the new wrestlers shifted to the brand, whom are just revealed. The most notable super stars featured where Daivari and the Great Khali, Chuck Palumbo, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Joey Mercury, and the current Cruiserweight champion, Gregory Helm’s. This is also mixed in with tape of Carlito, Jeff Hardy, and Val Venis. Before we head to the show, a half minute memorial tape plays of the former super stars, just briefly showing the super stars who are no longer with us. But when we hit the ring, what appears to be the entire RAW roster is down at ringside as pyroes go off and a totally new RAW theme music plays; it is pretty much the same theme music, but altered a little bit. Standing in the ring around the super stars is Daivari, who is wearing a business suit and looks very professional. He is getting a negative reaction from the fans, who don’t seem to pleased with the idea of throwing a Muslim man on television after the tragedy unfolded four months ago. We get a glimpse that the commentator’s booth is Michael Cole and Tazz, who announce they are the voices of RAW, ECW and Smackdown. After some quick banter, they shut up as the show kicks off. Throughout the segment, there are close-up’s of the new talent, including previously unmentioned Brian Kendrick, The Bashams, Tantaka, Harry Smith, Daniel Rodimer, Ray Gordy, Shannon Moore, Sonny Siaki and Sylvan. Also at ring side is the returning Chris Master’s and interestingly enough, two previously released wrestler’s. At ringside, Tajiri and Tyson Tomko are shown, as Tazz announces both decided returns to the WWE would help them in their time of need.

Daivari

“Welcome to Monday RAW! For the new viewers who know me not, I am Sean Daivari, the new General Manager of RAW. I know that I have giant shoes to fill and I try very hard to make sure they are filled properly. With the turbulence that this company has experienced in several months, I realize it is hard for people to move on from what has happened…”

Daivari is cut off by a booming bass, loud drums and rocking guitars that run throughout the arena. Stepping onto the stage is Val Venis, holding the hand of former ECW vixen Francine as the two walk too the ring. Both are wearing professional business suits, as Val Venis looks to have cleaned himself up a bit since we last saw him in the main event of HEAT. Venis looks Daivari up and down, before he threatens him with physical violence. Venis rips the microphone away as Daivari flees the ring out of fear. The always intimidating Great Khali steps on the ring apron, and the two have a brief stare down. Venis brushes him off, as he looks too the crowd, whom are dying to hear his “hello ladies” routine. Instead, he chuckles before he kicks off the evening.

Val Venis

“It would be in your best interest to get off the apron before I am forced to ruin my 10,000$ suit.” (the camera shows Khali getting off the apron, and Venis cracking a smile once he gets off the apron) “Lets cut the small talk, because Mr. Daivari said something extremely important. That we have to move on from the tragedy this company has suffered. While each and every one of you was suffering pain and anguish, I turned my sorrow into financial achievement. I inherited a immense sum of inheritance from my rich grand father, Victor Venis, and the amount of that inheritance will not be disclosed at this point and time. But what is important is that I have lived the posh lifestyle for over four month’s. Than I receive a phone call from World Wrestling Entertainment Headquarters, telling me that RAW was heading back on the road and I was expected to be present for the first taping on January 1st. As you can see, I have reached an impasse that must be dealt with. My brand new posh life style has been infringed upon by this freak show wrestling promotion. I called my attorney and he informed me that I have exactly one year left on my contract that I am unable to escape. World Wrestling Entertainment will not part ways with me and therefore I have been forced to show up this evening. Don’t think that I graced your presence by choice.” (the fans boo this heavily, as Venis is clearly getting on their nerves.) “I am here, for one year, to fulfil my contractual obligations to the wrestling promotion. And than? Well, I’ll bid farewell and return to my massive fortune I have obtained.”

Venis is interrupted by a familiar theme music, that of Rey Mysterio. Mysterio gets a huge pop from the audience as the small super star makes his way towards the ring, slapping the fans hands. Mysterio receives a microphone before he climbs onto the apron and slides into the ring. Mysterio looks at Venis with disgust in his eyes, as he cannot believe what Venis had just said.

Rey Mysterio

“Am I hearing you correctly, Val Venis?”

Val Venis

“What did you call me? Val Venis? No, no, no. See, that name harkens back to my day as a down on my luck, corrupted vagrant. The boys at the country club know me as Victor Venis II.”

Rey Mysterio

“Dawg, I don’t care. You tell me, and the fans, that you are here because of your contract. Essé, I care about the wrestling. I ain’t here cuz of no contract, I am here cuz of the burning passion in my heart.”

Victor Venis II

“Rey, we all know why you are here. I told you, if you come back to the country club in one month, they will have lawn mowers that the vertically challenged can use.”

Rey Mysterio

“You think you’re funny, dawg? You wanna see me go loco in the ring later on?” (Rey Mysterio signals to Venis too bring it)

Victor Venis II

“I am afraid that I have prior engagements. But rest assured, I am sure that there is someone out here who would be willingly to defeat you later on tonight.”

Rey Mysterio

“Yo, I guess what they said was true. You are scared of losing to the smallest dog in the yard."

Victor Venis II

“Smallest dog in the yard? Talk about the smallest dog in the world, Rey. And I am not afraid of fighting you, because I play fight with my ten year old nephew all of the time and can always beat him. I assume you’ll be a little… well… easier. But here, Rey, I will stick with the dog theme since you alluded too it already. I’ll throw you a bone. You were right about that passion to wrestle, because I have some new feelings burning inside me after watching your pathetic routine.” (Venis looks all around the ring, until his eyes lay on Mark Henry, and Venis motions for him to enter the ring, and he does so.) “I’ll offer you this. Tonight in the main event, me and your former nemesis Mark Henry will take on you and a tag partner of your choice. Whomever you can scrounge up at the last minute. I know that your good friend Batista currently holds the World Heavyweight champion, giving him the ability to appear on all three brands, but he isn’t present at tonight’s show. So you are out of luck on that endeavor.”

Rey Mysterio

“I actually think I found a partner, essé. In fact, they are at ring side right now. But, I need to ask for a favor, Victor. I need for you to close your eyes, because I want this to be a big surprise. Ok?”

Victor Venis shrugs his shoulders as he chuckles and orders Henry to close his eyes. Rey Mysterio mutters to hold on one second as he hops onto the apron. From underneath the ring emerges The Boogeyman, with a hand full of worms and the clock around his neck. The fans are popping big time as the Boogeyman slides into the ring and stands in front of the two men closing their eyes. The Boogeyman playfully taunts the two men for a few seconds as they wear smug grins on their face over their treatment of Mysterio. As Rey Mysterio blurts out surprise, the two men remove their hands and come face to face with the ever bizarre Boogeyman. Boogeyman gives a face full of worms to Victor Venis, who simply rolls out of the ring shrieking. Boogeyman catches Henry off guard with a stiff shot to the forehead with the clock! As the Boogeyman cackles, Rey Mysterio hops into the ring as his theme music plays. Mysterio hops on the ropes as Victor Venis flees ring side through a sea of wrestler’s standing in his way. Venis is irate after the embarrassing turn of events he just suffered. Before we head to a quick commercial break, we can see that Venis is cussing his opponents for the main event tonight!

When we return from commercial break, the camera has a close-up on a locker room with the word “2 XTREME” on it. Inside, we see that Gregory Helm’s, Shannon Moore, Joey Mercury, Jeff and Matt Hardy are inside, all sitting in folding chairs and laughing.

Matt Hardy

“Those were the days, guys. Those were the days.”

Gregory Helm’s

“They were, Matt. I mean, it seems like yesterday we were risking our lives for a few dollars a night. And than of course..."

Matt Hardy

“Than what?”

Gregory Helm’s

“Well, I didn’t wanna say anything and Shannon didn’t either...”

Shannon Moore

“Yeah, we wanted to keep our mouth’s shut.”

Gregory Helm’s

“But I mean, since we are all together and everything is cool, we just wanted you two (pointing at the Hardy Boyz) to acknowledge that you ditched us three (pointing at Mercury, Moore and Helm’s). No big deal, I just wanted too point out the obvious.”

Shannon Moore

“Yeah.”

Jeff Hardy

“Whoa, whoa, we didn’t ditch you. We took a chance and signed with World Wrestling Entertainment. Me and Matt are risk takers not only in the ring, but in life. And we took a huge risk and it paid off.”

Gregory Helm’s

“It is true, but I all I am saying is that you ditched us. You took a risk and ditched us.”

Joey Mercury

“Look, guys, can we just hang out and drop this? You know we have that 10 man tag later on tonight for a spot in the Royal Rumble. If we win, all 5 of us get included in the Royal Rumble match.”

Gregory Helm’s

“I’ll be happy to drop it, but I just wanted to set the record straight. You ditched me and Shannon and we ended up going to WCW. And sure, we were more than happy being forced into a Boyband, sarcasm intended, but since you ditched us, we never obtained the fame you two encountered. I mean, you guys hold such talent for flopping off ladders and nearly killing yourself. God forbid you two, you know, actually wrestle.”

Matt Hardy

“So, wait one second. Now you are jealous of us?”

Gregory Helm’s

“Jealous? Hardly! I mean… look what fame brought you two. Jeff, let the stress get to him and you became addicted to drugs and lost your job and Matt, your best-friend stole your girl friend and you lost your job because of it. At the very least, me and Shannon have had steady employment ever since.”

Jeff Hardy

“Low blow and not cool, Gregory.”

There is an awkward silence, as the Hardy Boyz and Helms/Moore are polarized in the room, with Mercury in the middle. The silence lasts ten seconds before Mercury breaks the ice.

Joey Mercury

“Guys, can we drop this? We’ve got an important match later on and a shot too go to Wrestlemaina is on the line. We all need to be on the same page if we wanna win.”

Shannon Moore

“Yeah sure, whatever.”

Matt Hardy

“Yeah, guys, lets try and put this behind us.”

As the two sides agree to put the tension behind them, the conversation returns to the banter that was going on before. The camera zooms out as we head too the ring for the very first match of the night.

Match Number One – Royal Rumble Qualifier

The Great Khali versus Ray Gordy

The Great Khali comes to the ring without Daivari, who appears to have relinquished his duties as manager in order to be the General Manager of RAW. The Great Khali taunts as the audience from inside the ring, but they seem uninterested in his cheap heat antics. Out next is the severely miss-matched and under-sized Ray Gordy, who looks to be in fear of the task he is taking on. As he slides into the ring, the Great Khali wastes no time as he stomps away at him and pulls him up to his feet before tossing him half way across the ring. While shouting out some incoherent gibberish, he runs forward and crushes Ray Gordy with a huge lariat. The Great Khali steps on his chest, nearly crushing the small frame of Gordy.

The Great Khali yanks him up to his feet and throws him into the corner before opening fire with a series of chops. After nearly cutting his chest open a few times, the Great Khali stops and begins to bite his forehead. After a hip toss, The Great Khali signals it is over and applies a nerve hold along the collar bone of Gordy. After struggling for a bit, the Great Khali releases the hold and finishes him off with the Giant Bomb which looks to nearly kill the comparatively small Ray Gordy. Khali simply puts his foot on the chest of Gordy as the referee counts to three and awards the match to Khali.

After the match, the Great Khali picks up the microphone to speak some incoherent speech, but out of no where, Brian Kendrick dives off the top with a flying elbow smash and sends him reeling. The Great Khali has no clue what hit him, as Kendrick is up to his feet and spring boards off the ropes only to take him out with a kick to the face. The Great Khali is reeling now and leaning up against the ropes. Kendrick gets a running start, but Khali steps forward and back body drops him over the top and to the floor. The camera closes in on Khali, who looks to have decimated the competition. But wait! Kendrick rushes back into the ring with a chair and hits Khali. As Khali is stunned, Kendrick grabs him and knocks him down and out with the Sliced Bread #2! Kendrick gets a huge response from the fans as he raises his arm in the air in victory. The Great Khali is ALREADY stirring after the beat-down and Kendrick takes this as his hint to flee the ring! As we head to a commercial break, Khali is chasing Kendrick up the ramp!

Winner: The Great Khali by pin fall.

When we return from break, Todd Grisham has bumped into Brian Kendrick and shoves the microphone in face, asking him why he dared cross the Great Khali.

Brian Kendrick

“Why?! Do I need a reason? See, Todd, people make their names around here, a lot of different ways. Hogan did it with Hulkmania and Wrestlemaina, Stone Cold did it with Stunners and Beer, and the Rock did it with People’s Elbow’s and raised eyebrows! And I woke up one morning and said, how can I make a name for MYSELF? And I came to the conclusion, the only way to do that is to set myself from the pack. Did I go out there and piss off the biggest beast in the world? HELL YEAH!!! Did I just give the fans the impression that I am crazy? HELL YEAH!!!! Did I just show the entire world that the Great Khali can be taken down? HELL YEAH!!!! So, let me ask you Todd Grisham, one last question. Did Mr. Brian Kendrick just make a name for himself? HELL YEAH!” (the Great Khali’s screams can be heard as he nears Kendrick.) “Well, Todd, looks like I am going to have to run! Catch ya on the flip side!”

Kendrick runs away as The Great Khali bursts onto the picture, shoving aside Grisham and chasing after Kendrick who is simply too quick for the big man. The camera pans too the ring where palm trees and the such are set up. Carlito’s music plays as the young super star comes out, with his primped Afro in tow. Juggling an apple in his hand, he winks at a few of the women in the audience as Carlito rolls into the ring and enters Carlito’s Havana. Carlito has a microphone sitting in his Hawaiian shirt pocket, and he pulls it out.

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Carlito has returned and lots of people are saying… das cool. But you know what is cooler? Is when you double the cool. Now that… das cool. So I asked myself who was cool and who was not. Mark Henry… not cool. The Great Khali … not cool. But Carlito… Carlito is cool! Carlito has cool in his blood, it is in Carlito’s genes. And they aren’t blue genes, either, because das not cool. Since I am cool, that means my brother, Eddie, must be as cool as me!”

Coming out from the backstage area is Eddie Caribbean Cool, aka, Eddie Colon. There is a huge problem though… Eddie is DEFINITELY not cool. He is wearing thick rimmed glasses, he has a lame buzz cut, and is dressed like a character from the movie Revenge of the Nerds. Eddie’s apple that he has in his hand isn’t even cool – the camera gets a close-up and it is bruised, turning a brown color, and significantly smaller than Carlito’s apple. Carlito gives his brother a hug as the family reunion is taking place in the ring.

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Is Eddie cool, or what?”

The fans react negatively as they boo Eddie. Eddie looks shocked, as he proceeds to stomp his feet and shove his brother. Eddie takes the microphone away from his brother and looks very angry.

Eddie Caribbean Cool

“I told my brother that I was right, all along! It isn’t that I ain’t cool! It is that all of you ... ALL OF YOU ARE UNCOOL!” (this is definitely not well received from the fans) “You wouldn’t know cool if it slapped you in the face.”

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eddie, cool down, bro. Das not cool! You can’t act like a party pooper in front of Carlito’s friends. Maybe they’ve got a point! Maybe, Eddie, you are a little not cool. But I can change that! Carlito is the KING of cool. I can… I can… I can… I can put you through COOL camp! Now, das… das is cool.”

Eddie Caribbean Cool

“Cool camp? What the heck, Carlito?”

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Starting next week, I am putting you on a Cool Diet, courtesy of the Carlito Cool Camp! Now das... das cool!”

As Eddie tries to argue with his brother, the Cool’s theme music plays as the two walk to the backstage area. As they argue up the ramp, we get a close-up of Tazz and Michael Cole who hype up the second Royal Rumble qualifying match of the evening – The Hardy Boyz, Moore, Mercury and Helm’s taking on The Bashams, Daniel Rodimer, Harry Smith, and Tatanka!

Match Number Two : 2 Xtreme Crew versus The Bashams, Daniel Rodimer, Harry Smith, and Sylvan

Coming out first is the Hardy Boyz who get a massive pop from the audience. Jeff Hardy does his usual pre-match routine, where he essentially flops around the stage looking like he is having a seizure. The two run too the ring and slide inside. Out next is Joey Mercury, who is wearing his patented fur coat and wearing his shades. As soon as he hits the ring, Moore and Helm’s are out next. Wearing the Cruiserweight title around his waist, Helm’s commands Moore to the ring and there is an awkward moment as Helms and Moore and the Hardyz come face to face. This is broken by generic WWE music as their 5 challengers make their way too the ring. The match kicks off with the 2 Xtreme crew showcasing what they do best – hitting eye widening spot after spot after spot. Gregory Helm’s takes out the Bashams with a spring board clothes line, while Jeff Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind on Sylvan! As we head to the commercial break, the Hardy Boyz are standing in the ring calling on their opponents.

When we return from break, Sylvan has Joey Mercury locked in an abdominal stretch. We get a recap of the events that transpired over the break, including a death defying leap over the top rope from Shannon Moore. The Hardy Boyz are rallying the fans behind Mercury who channels his energy and tosses Sylvan off him. He makes the hot tag to Jeff, who enters the ring like he is possessed and just takes everyone out with lefts and rights. Eventually the ring is over taken with bodies as people are flying left and right. This leads Matt Hardy to hit the Twist of Fate on Sylvan and Jeff to climb to the top and to take him out with a Swanton Bomb. Gregory Helm’s intervenes, as he hooks the leg of Sylvan and the referee counts to three. Jeff Hardy looks angered over the fact the pin fall was stolen from right underneath him, but content with the victory his team was awarded. He goes to hug and high five Moore and Helms, who seem hesitant to embrace them. The post-match ends with the 2 Xtreme crew basically reveling in the victory that Helm’s granted them – all of them earned a spot in the Royal Rumble alongside the Great Khali.

Winner: 2 Xtreme Crew

In the backstage area, we see that there is a new face to RAW preparing for the next obut. Sonny Siaki is shown in the backstage area pacing back and forth as Todd Grisham approaches him. Before Todd Grisham can even open his mouth, Siaki cuts him off.

Sonny Siaki

“You are probably going to ask me how I feel going up against Tajiri. About how I am the underdog, because no one has ever heard of me before. Well, Todd, you see there is one thing you forget. Not only am I going to beat Tajiri, but I’ve got a trick up my sleeve. It’ll be sure to leave a lasting impression on the fans.”

Siaki shoves Todd Grisham aside as we head to the commercial break. But before the commercial break, we get a promo for the return of Batista to Monday Night RAW. They state that Batista will be present next week, with the World Heavyweight title. Tazz and Cole state that next week, a tournament will begin to crown the new Intercontinental Champion. All three brands will put supply three wrestlers for an Intercontinental title match at the Royal Rumble. Tazz and Cole also clarify that no title holder OR potential title holder may compete in the Royal Rumble. Therefore, Gregory Helm’s may or may not realize it, but his victory earlier on tonight means that his partners all earn spots in the Royal Rumble, but he does not! The announcers hype up that when we return, new comer Sonny Siaki will take on the returning Tajiri!

Match Number Three : Sonny Siaki versus Tajiri

The match lasts a mere three minutes, as Tajiri just hits every single spot he can at Sonny Siaki. After a hurricrana, Tajiri catches Siaki square in the temple with a kick. Siaki falls too the mat and Tajiri berates him with kicks on the mat. Siaki crawls to the corner and Tajiri applies the Tarantula and is hoping to make Siaki tap. Unfortunately the referee breaks up the hold. The lights in the arena go off and a pink spot light shines on the stage. The fans are totally confused until “JITTERBUG” sounds off across the stadium. As Wham’s 1984 hit Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go blasts across the sound system, Chris Kanyon makes his way too the ring on a pink scooter with a huge rainbow streaked down the side. The bike reads Chris Kashmere, a parody of the fabric cashmere. Kashmere gets on the apron and waves at the fans, but Tajiri kicks him off the apron and onto the scooter. Tajiri turns around and out of no where Sonny Siaki rolls him up to score the three count. Siaki rolls to the outside, and hops on the scooter with Chris Kashmere. The two scooter off together as Tajiri is scratching his head, trying to fathom what just happened.

Winner: Sonny Siaki

Match Number Four : Chris Master’s versus Tatanka

Chris Master’s makes his WWE return in style – with the pyro and theme music that the fans have come to associate with the Masterlock. Chris Master’s makes his way too the ring slowly, barely even glancing at the fans as he rolls into the ring and showcases his strength. Within seconds, he is cut off by the Native war cries of Tatanka, who makes his way towards the ring. Tatanka slides in and the two men instantly begin brawling before we head to a commercial break.

When we return, Tatanka has Chris Master’s on the apron and trying to knock him down. After a series of forearms, Tatanka goes for a running forearm, but Master’s ducks him and Tatanka is send sprawling to the outside after diving over the top rope. Master’s whips him into the steel ring post a few times and than sends him into the ring. Master’s taunts the audience as he teases the Masterlock. When he locks it in, Tatanka struggles for a few seconds and eventually passes out! The referee calls for the bell and Master’s throws Tatanka too the side and lifts his arms in victory. But wait! Master’s is smashed in the face with a Yakuza kick! The tattooed big man known as Tyson Tomko just knocked the hell out of Chris Master’s as he makes his return to RAW! Tomko picks up Master’s and locks him in a bear hug. Master’s struggles to break free from the hold, but Tomko will not release the hold! The referee is calling for the bell and help from the back as staff surround the two men and attempt to rip them apart. As Master’s struggles for air on one knee, Tomko picks up a microphone.

Tyson Tomko

“I am sick and tired of you being the meanest dog in the yard, Master’s. You just got locked in the Problem Solver and they had to rip me off of you. I was this close to making you pass out. Next week, I am going to prove too you that I am the biggest, and baddest dog in the yard when we wrestle for the Royal Rumble Qualifying Match!”

Tyson Tomko is dragged out of the ring by referee’s and staff as Chris Master’s is held back by a slew of officials. These two big boys want to rip each other to pieces, but they are being stopped by the finest officials that WWE has to offer. As we head to a commercial break, we see that Chris Master’s has the look of redemption in his eyes as he wants to rip Tyson Tomko to pieces. The only catch is – that he has to wait till next week in order to get the job done.

Winner: Chris Master’s

When we return from commercial break, Daivari, the General Manager comes too the ring and for a huge announcement.

Sean Daivari

“Starting next week, I am starting a new campaign on RAW. It is called “Kick It Up A Notch” and I hope that it’ll restore interest in the RAW Brand. Tonight we crowned the five RAW participants for the Royal Rumble – that being Shannon Moore, The Hardy Boyz, Joey Mercury and The Great Khali. Gregory Helm’s WILL not be included in the Royal Rumble at this point due to holding the Cruiserweight title, but that can change in the following three weeks. For the next three weeks, we are going to see five more Royal Rumble Qualifying Matches. Next week we will see Chris Master’s taking on Tyson Tomko, alongside Mark Henry squaring off against Rey Mysterio. Also, next week the beginning of the Intercontinental Title Tournament begins on RAW. The four quarter-finals will take place on the next two episodes of RAW, and than on the last RAW before the Royal Rumble we will jam pack the semi-finals and finals on one show. The winner of that tournament will than advance to the Royal Rumble, where they will compete in a three way dance with two super stars from the ECW and SD!, in order to crown the new Intercontinental Champion. Here are the brackets for the Tournament, so next week, prepare to kick it up a notch on RAW!”

Sean Daivari points too the stage and we see that the Titan Tron is lit up with the brackets. We head to a commercial break before the main event.

Carlito Caribbean Cool

vs.

Chuck Palumbo

Brian Kendrick

vs.

Eddie Caribbean Cool

Tajiri

vs.

Doug Basham

Tatanka

vs.

Sonny Siaki

Main Event : The Boogeyman & Rey Mysterio versus Victor Venis II & Mark Henry

Coming out first is Victor Venis II, wearing some nice velvet trunks and wearing a Rolex watch. Venis slides into the ring, and sizes the referee up and down before taunting the fans. He takes off his Rolex watch and hands it too the referee, who is unsure about what to do with it. Seconds later, the theme music of Mark Henry plays as the big man makes his way too the ring. Henry stares down several members in the audience as he stands outside the ring wearing a menacing glance. After entering the ring, Venis and Henry greet in a formal hand shake and conversation about their tactic in the match. They are interrupted by Rey Mysterio who pops out from no where to a huge crowd response, the biggest of the night. Mysterio slaps the fans hands as he runs down into the ring and slides inside. Venis and Henry waste no time in blind siding him as he lies on the mat. Venis and Henry lay the boots on him as he struggles to break free. After dodging a few blows, Mysterio manages to hit a spring board clothesline on both men!

Quick on his feet, Mysterio whips Venis into the ropes, leap frogs him and catapults him across the ring with a monkey flip. Mysterio hops up to the top rope and leg drops him. Mysterio doesn’t even question the whereabouts of his tag partner, the Boogeyman, who is no where to be seen. Tazz and Cole assume this is the tactic of the unorthodox Boogeyman! Mysterio and Venis go through a breath-taking series of reversals that ends with Venis hitting a pump handle slam into an Octupus submission hold. He releases it and than chokes Mysterio with his boot. After a tag into Henry, Venis retreats to the apron while Henry tries to use his size in order to scare the small Mysterio. Mysterio will have none of it, as he bounces all over the ring and off the ropes to keep Henry grounded. Henry finds himself on the outside of the ring and Mysterio signals for a high risk move. But Venis takes him out in mid run with a knee to the gut. We head to commercial break as Venis tosses Mysterio to the outside of the ring.

When we return, Henry has Mysterio on the mat in the corner as he stands on his chest. We get a recap of the break, where Mysterio hit a suicide dive and took both men out, as well as a missed Asai moon sault. Henry asks the fans if they wanna see Mysterio get crushed as he drags him to the middle of the ring. Henry bounces off the ropes and goes for a splash on Mysterio... but Mysterio rolls out of the way. Mysterio is up to his feet now and he takes Henry out with a spinning heel kick. Henry makes the hot tag to Venis, who enters the ring with a blazing fury! But wait, Venis is stopped in his tracks by Mysterio, who pleads with him to stop! Venis stops in the middle of the ring, and shrugs his shoulder. He is confused about the tactic of Mysterio. All of the sudden, a pile of worms FALLS from the ceiling and covers Venis as Mysterio rolls to the outside! The ring is literally covered in worms and Venis is rolling around in them! Venis is screaming at the top of his lungs as worms are everywhere! The Boogeyman emerges from underneath the ring, as smoke seeps from underneath the ring apron!

The fans are clearly behind the Boogeyman, who is brawling with Henry on the outside. Henry tries to whip Boogeyman into the steel ring post, but Boogeyman whips him there instead! Boogeyman sizes Mark Henry up with the clock, as he hops to bust him open with it. But wait, Francine! Francine showed up out of no where and ripped the clock off the neck of Boogeyman! With a look of anger in his eyes, the Boogeyman chases Francine around the ring. When they back around the other side, Henry takes him out with a huge Lariat that knocks Boogeyman out. Meanwhile, in the ring Mysterio hits the 6-1-9 on Venis and he is sent into the worms and Mysterio is on the apron. He goes for the West Coast Pop, but Henry makes it onto the apron in time and shoves the ropes. Mysterio stumbles off and falls into the ring, right into Venis. Venis kicks him in the gut and power bombs him onto the worms. Venis ascends the top turn buckle and hits the Money Shot off the top rope and connects with great force. Venis hooks the leg while the three counts to three and awards the match to Victor Venis II and Mark Henry. Francine enters the ring with a chair in hand, giving it too her associate Victor Venis. Venis stares down at Mysterio with content in his eyes, as he holds the chair. Venis raises the chair in the air signaling victory, but soon grabs the chair with both hands and crowns Henry with it! What in the hell?!? Victor Venis II chuckles as Francine hands him a microphone, allowing him to speak.

Victor Venis II

“Hahaha! Mark Henry and Victor Venis II, a team? No chance in hell! You saw what I just did there? I brought him under my wing and when I got tired of carrying the dead weight, I dropped it. That is what Victor Venis is all about, gentleman. Dropping the dead weight, week in and week out. And next week when Batista is here on RAW, I’ll make sure to drop the biggest weight of them all.”

Victor Venis II tosses the microphone to the side as he and Francine walk to the backstage area, hand in hand, as the fans boo him. The ring is a mess as the show comes to a screeching halt. Chairs, worms and fallen wrestler’s. One thing is for sure, Tazz and Cole summarise, that RAW’s return was interesting to say the least and that next week should be just as interesting to see the fallout from the return of RAW. We head off as Rey Mysterio is up to his feet and quite angry with how his first night on RAW turned out.

Winner : Victor Venis II & Mark Henry

NEXT WEEK ON RAW…

Carlito signs his brother up for Cool Camp.

The beginning of the RAW IC Tournament.

Mark Henry versus Rey Mysterio and Chris Masters versus Tyson Tomko in a Royal Rumble Qualifying Match.

The return of Batista to Monday Night RAW with Victor Venis teasing interaction between the two wrestler’s.

PLUS so much more on the second episode of Monday Night RAW!

RPS · September 10, 2006

ECW Television

Tuesday, January 2nd 2007

“The return of Extreme.”

The ECW video has been redone to focus on the wrestler’s who are know the center of the brand … Test, Mike Knox, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, CM Punk, Hardcore Holly, Justin Credible and a few other various wrestlers. The camera closes in on the ECW ring, with The Sandman standing tall in the center of the ring with a singapore cane in one hand, and a microphone and beer in the other hand. The Sandman cracks open the beer and guzzles it down to the fans applause.

The Sandman

“ECW is back! We lost some of the best wrestler’s that have ever graced the wrestling business, but we are going to never forget them and keep doing what we do best. Drinkin’ beer, sheddin’ blood and kickin’ ass!” (the fans chant ECW as Sandman nods his head in approval.) “Some people say that the new ECW is dead – that it no longer even resembles the ECW of the past. They couldn’t be more than wrong. ECW is alive and the blood is flowing through its veins. And with a few new accusations, the new ECW is sure to prove that we haven’t lost it yet. We’ve got Tommy Dreamer, the man who has never stopped busting his ass for ECW! We’ve got Balls Mahoney, the chair swingin’ freak! CM Punk, the new, upcoming super star who is going to make waves real soon. Heck, we’ve got my arch nemesis, Mike Knox and Test, who would be kicking ass with the best of them in the old ECW. We’ve got the F.B.I, we’ve got Road Kill and Doring, we’ve got…”

The Sandman is interrupted by the original Tough Enough theme music. Coming out from the backstage area is Maven Huffman, wearing a nice suit and cracking a smile. Maven Huffman ignores the fans as he makes his way too the ring and slides inside. Taking a microphone from the ring announcer, he interrupts The Sandman.

Maven Huffman

“You’ve got Maven Huffman! That is right, folks. I’ll wait while you all pick your jaws up off the ground, because you might have to do a double take for my return to the wrestling business. Maven Huffman, the winner of Tough Enough and former cast member of the Surreal Life, has arrived here in Extreme Championshit Wrestling. Everyone is scratching their heads, saying “why is Maven Huffman lowering himself to join the ranks of ECW.” Well, the answer is simple; I wanted to make my way up the ladder and the ladder is a hell of a lot shorter here in ECW. If I were on Smackdown, I’d have to beat wrestler after wrestler to earn a shot at the World Heavyweight Champion. Here on ECW, I could become a title contender in one week. I could beat half of the ECW roster right now, if I wanted too. I mean, look at this. The Sandman is somehow found himself in control of the ECW Return Speech. What even gives you the right to come out here and act like you run the show here?”

The Sandman

“News flash - I do run the show around here. Not only am I the drunk and reckless wrestler that the fans love, but I am the newly appointed General Manager of the ECW Brand. If you want to keep throwing around accusations that you can beat half of the ECW roster, I can make the match happen tonight so you can prove yourself.”

Maven Huffman

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down there Sandman. You don’t want to make a decision you are going to regret. Lets not make irrational decisions, Sandman. How about making a rational decision right now. Like giving me a spot in the Royal Rumble.”

The Sandman

“Who do you think you are? Coming into ECW, demanding title shots and claiming this place is crap. We do things a bit differently here in ECW – we put people through hell and back before they earn their spot at the top. I’ve already awarded 3 spots in the Royal Rumble too Tommy Dreamer, Justin Credible, and Balls Mahoney, because they have ECW running through their blood. We aren’t having qualifying matches or any of that BS. I am giving people spots in the Royal Rumble when they go out too the ring and prove too me they deserve a spot in the Royal Rumble. And Maven, I’ve got the perfect way for you to prove that you belong in the Royal Rumble. Behind that curtain stands a mystery man who you’ve actually faced before in your career and been successful against. I am not giving you the spot in the Royal Rumble if you win the match, I am going to give you a spot in the Royal Rumble if you can survive three minutes in the ring with this guy. So, do you think you are up to the challenge, Maven?”

Maven Huffman

“Hell yeah. Throw whoever you want out here and I’ll kick their ass.”

Maven Huffman tosses aside the microphone and calls too the back. The match starts up as soon as the memorable theme music plays blares out.

Match Number Two : World Heavyweight Champion Batista versus Maven Huffman (NON-TITLE MATCH)

The World Heavyweight Champion makes his way towards the ring as the ECW locker room makes their way too the backstage area. Batista is getting a mixed reaction – both cheers and jeers for the future of the WWE. Batista enters the ring and Maven looks scared out of his mind. Tazz and Cole remind the fans that Maven and Batista had a few run ins around 2004 and Maven came out successful in a one on one affair. A clip of that is shown as the referee calls for the bell. Maven essentially runs around the ring as the clock ticks down. Maven even hits a drop kick and goes for the reverse Russian Leg sweep but Batista blocks it and spine busters the hell out of him. Batista gives the thumbs down, as he picks up Maven and power bombs him in the middle of the ring. He allows the referee to get to two before breaking up the count. Batista lets the time run out as the fans are questioning what he is doing. Batista sets him up and power bombs him once again and covers for the three count. Batista picks up a microphone after the bout.

Batista

“Now, would it make sense for me to give this guy a shot at winning the Royal Rumble. I just beat him in three minutes – if this is the guy who is going to win the Royal Rumble, well, the main event of Wrestlemaina is going to be short and sweet affair.”

Batista rolls out of the ring and heads too the backstage area as the fans once again give him a mixed review. He actually kind of played the heel role, being a little cocky with the ECW fans. I am sure that is changing, given the fact that he was last seen beating King Booker and is hinted too feud with Victor Venis II, but is still interesting. Cole and Tazz say that they have respect for Batista, but that he doesn’t necessarily belong in an ECW ring given the fans reaction too him.

Winner: Batista

After a return from the commercial break, CM Punk is shown pacing back and forth. CM Punk instructs the camera man to follow him as he walks up to the Sandman, who is sitting in a nice leather chair. When the two come face to face, CM Punk slaps the Sandman across the face and than speaks up.

CM Punk

“You. You are everything wrong with the world.”

The Sandman

“You’ve got some nerve, kid, coming in here slapping me.”

CM Punk

“Haha Some nerve slapping a broken down, battered, drunken fool?”

The Sandman

“And your boss!”

CM Punk

“What are you going to do? Fire me? You wouldn’t dare, because you know that I’m the future of this brand. Punish me? How can you punish me? By putting me in some sort of match later on tonight? I dare you too.”

The Sandman

“You know who you remind me of, Punk? Guess.”

CM Punk

“How naïve are you? Do you think I care for your opinion?”

The Sandman

“You really are an idiot.” (The Sandman slaps him upside the head.) “You remind me a hell of a lot like me when I was your age. Except for my excessive drinking and random girls coming through. You’ve got a burning passion inside of you that I can’t really explain and it is the same passion I had in me when I first broke into the business. So I am gonna give you a shot to use that passion. You got a spot in the main event."

CM Punk

“I come in, slap my boss and I get a spot at the top of the card tonight. What are we living in reverso world?”

The Sandman

“You and Tommy Dreamer will be taking on Test and Mike Knox. If you win, you get a guaranteed spot in the Rumble.”

CM Punk

“Oh, I see your approach. You are using me as a pawn in your feud with Test and Knox, and setting it up so I have to help you. I like your style, Sand, I like it. I just want to remind you that I can be just as cunning as you can.”

CM Punk leaves the office of the General Manager, the Sandman, with a smirk on his face. After Punk has left, The Sandman nods his head in approval as he cracks open a cold beer and takes a swig. We head to a commercial break, and when we return we get a tag-team match-up!

Match Number Two : High Impact versus the F.B.I versus Roadkill & Doring

High Impact are a new edition to the ECW roster, consisting of Jack Taylor (formerly Mike Taylor) and the mohawked Tony Santorelli, they hardly get a reaction. Out next is Roadkill and Doring who get a rather large ECW reaction due to their past in ECW. The F.B.I get a mixed reaction, more leaning towards the boos. The match kicks off with Doring and Guido going through a series of reversals, which leads to Taylor getting tagged in. Taylor appears to be pretty vanilla, as he doesn’t do anything spectacular besides some very bland strikes. After a tag to Tony Mamaluke, the action picks up again, with Mamaluke hitting some impressive technical reversals to the moves Doring tries to hit.

Roadkill eventually is tagged in and the angry Amish man throws his weight around. All of the wrestlers are on the outside of the ring except for Doring and Roadkill, which leads for Roadkill to hit the eye popping spot where he takes out everyone with an insane dive to the outside. Meanwhile, Doring has his back turned when Super Crazy and Psicosis enter the ring! The two Mexicans hit a Conchairto on Doring when the referee has his back turned! The match ends quickly as Little Guido rolls in the ring and covers Doring for the three count. Meanwhile, Psicosis and Super Crazy go crazy with the chairs, slamming them into the foreheads of everyone in sight. After the damage is done, they are the only ones left standing. Tazz and Cole speculate the two former ECW stars have made the jump too the brand, after being fed up with Smackdown prior to the hiatus.

Winner : The F.B.I.

Match Number Three : Kevin Thorn versus Hardcore Holly versus Stevie Richards versus Renee Dupree (EXTREME RULES)

All four of the super stars are already in the ring when we return from a commercial break and all hold a weapon. Hardcore Holly has a chair, Stevie Richards has a 2’4”, Renee Dupree has a trash can which he is using as a shield and Kevin Thorn has a singapore cane. When the bell rings, the ring becomes packed with action as bodies are being tossed left and right. Eventually Stevie Richards emerges the only man standing after cracking Renee Dupree in the back with the 2’4”. Stevie Richards grabs a chair and waits for Kevin Thorn to get up before throwing him the chair and than super kicking it into his face! Cover, but Hardcore Holly breaks up the cover. Renee Dupree tries to hide underneath the ring, but Kevin Thorn drags him from underneath the ring and tosses him into the steel rail. Kevin Thorn has a pair of handcuffs and he tries to hand cuff Dupree too the steel railing, but Hardcore Holly decks him with a chair shot! Dupree is sent scrambling as he runs too the backstage area. Kevin Thorn slowly stalks him too the backstage area, while the Stevie Richards and Hardcore Holly are still in the ring brawling.

After hitting his patented suplex, Stevie Richards rolls to the outside and searches for a table. He sets it up just beside the ring and climbs onto the apron. Hardcore Holly stops him dead in his tracks when he rams the steel chair into the ribs of Stevie Richards. Holly climbs out onto the apron and hoists Richards onto his shoulder. Holly hits an Alabama slam off the apron and through the table, which looks like it hurt. Holly hops off the apron and covers Richards on the outside while the referee counts too three. As Holly is being awarded the victory, Kevin Thorn is chasing Renee Dupree through the backstage area. Dupree hops into a car and fumbles with the keys before driving away. Thorn manages to put his fist through the passenger seat window, but Dupree still manages to drive away. Thorn speaks up as he stares deeply into the camera.

Kevin Thorn

“I feel weak. Weak because I lack the plasma, the lifeline which is vital too me. Next week, I will get my plasma.”

Kevin Thorn walks away as the cameraman focuses on the blood and glass that is lying on the pavement. The cameraman looks up and out of no where Kevin Thorn tackles him. The camera is tilted on the side as the camera barely makes out Kevin Thorn dragging away the cameraman. Meanwhile, we turn our attention back too the ring where Hardcore Holly is watching from the ring. On the outside, EMTs and medical staff are attending too Stevie Richards who took a nasty bump there. As they help him onto a stretcher, they are taking him too the backstage area. But Hardcore Holly rolls out of the ring and tosses the stretcher over. Holly threatens the medics with physical violence as they flee for cover. Holly takes Richards off the stretcher and than with a devilish grin on his face he removes the padded floor to expose the concrete. Holly sets Richards up for a pile driver and barely lifts him in the air before he loses his balance and has to return Richards too the ground. Richards starts a remarkable comeback as he back body drops Holly onto the cement floor too the fans cheers. Richards hops up onto the apron and waits for Holly to crawl to his feet. Richards soars off the apron with a cross body splash and lands on Holly. Richards and Holly roll around on the floor as the two are throwing punches at each other. WWE officials eventually split the two men up as they try to rip each other to shreds. As the two are being pulled apart, we head to a commercial break.

Winner: Hardcore Holly

When we return from commercial break, there is a red carpet leading too the ring. Inside is King Booker’s thorn. As his theme music plays, First Knights Fit Finlay and William Regal make their way out and await as King Booker and Queen Sharmell make their way towards the ring, holding hands and waving too the fans. As they get into the ring, Sharmell helps Booker sit down in his Throne and hands him a microphone.

King Booker

“SILENCE, SUCKAS! King Booker havth arrived in the Extremely Crappy Wrestling! Thou must boweth at thy feet, suckas, and listen to thy proclamation!” (Sharmell emerges with a scroll that is around five meters long. King Booker proceeds to clear his throat. Tazz and Cole ponder whether Booker and company have jumped to ECW) “The King Hath Arrived… But The King Will Not Be Staying! The King Only Arrived Here In ECW To Speak Down TO His Peons, Otherwise Known As The Suckas! King Booker has a momentous announcement that needed to be heard as soon as possible. King Booker is the first Smackdown confirmed entrant in the Royal Rumble, suckas! That means I am gonna be heading to Wrestlemaina after I outlast 29 suckas and win the Royal Rumble.” (Some unfamiliar theme music plays as King Booker looks irate.) “Who dareth interrupt the King!?!”

King Booker stands up from his thorn, but instantly finds himself drilled with a chair shot! Balls Mahoney is in the ring with a chair! Fit Finlay and William Regal don’t have a chance to react when Justin Credible canes the hell out of them! Balls Mahoney drills King Booker with another chair shot before King Booker rolls to the outside. Justin Credible heads too the ring and canes King Booker on the outside a few times! Extreme ambush! Meanwhile in the ring, Balls Mahoney has a devilish grin on his face as he pulls out some lighter fluid and drenches the Throne with it. As Justin Credible stands on the apron taunting King Booker and Company, Balls Mahoney sets the chair ablaze and climbs out onto the apron with Justin Credible. Justin Credible has a microphone in hand, as well.

Justin Credible

“Me and Balls are SICK and TIRED of ECW being invaded by rejects like you! Week in and week out, ECW dies a little when jokes like you show up! Me and Balls aren’t friends, heck I don’t even like Balls. I’d even say I hate the ugy. But at the end of the day, we both want ECW to live on because it flows through our veins. So we are going to make sure that people like you, and Batista, never show up on ECW again. In fact, on Friday we are going to give you a taste of your own medicine. Me and Balls are going to INVADE Smackdown for one night only too give you a taste of your own medicine.”

Justin Credible throws down the microphone as he and Balls Mahoney look at the Throne which is still ablaze. We head to the last commercial break as Balls and Credible have definitely sent a message to the entire World Wrestling Entertainment roster.

Main Event : Tommy Dreamer & CM Punk versus Mike Knox & Test

The match kicks off with CM Punk refusing to start the match and Tommy Dreamer getting double teamed by Knox and Test. After a double flapjack, Test works on Dreamer with a series of moves. Test eventually hits a power bomb that sends Dreamer into the middle of the ring. Test hooks the leg, but breaks the count out by himself and tags in Knox. Knox waits for Dreamer to get to his feet before he takes him down with three lariats. Knox picks up Dreamer whips him into the ropes only to take him down with a brutal body slam. Knox hooks the leg, but lets Dreamer kick out at 2. Dreamer tries to make the tag to CM Punk, who refuses to be tagged in and allows for the beat down to continue. Test is tagged in and he sets up for the big boot on Dreamer. Test sizes him up, and misses the big boot! Dreamer hits an atomic drop and than takes him to the mat with a bull dog! Dreamer goes for a Russian Leg Sweep on Test, but Knox illegally enters the ring and takes Dreamer out with a big boot.

CM Punk doesn’t seem interested in getting involved in the match when Dreamer tries to tag him in. Test drags him to the middle of the ring and allows for Knox to lay a few kicks on him. Test climbs to the top rope and looks ready to plant Dreamer with a top rope elbow drop. But wait, CM Punk shakes the ropes and Test lands on his groin. CM Punk enters the ring and takes out Knox with a double leg take down. Knox is totally flustered with the attack, he can barely even avoid getting locked in the .45 Special! As Knox screams in pain, Dreamer is up to his feet and he climbs to the top rope. Dreamer and Test fly off the top rope as Dreamer hits a superplex that shakes the ring! Dreamer covers, but Test kicks out at 2!

Meanwhile now, CM Punk ducks a clothes line by Knox and than hits another double leg take down. This time, CM Punk applies a Texas Cloverleaf! Test looks ready to break up the hold, but Tommy Dreamer intercepts Test and places him on his shoulder! Dreamer Driver! Tommy Dreamer drapes his arm across the chest of Test as the referee makes the three count. Tommy Dreamer and CM Punk are victorious, allowing for Tommy Dreamer to get some long awaited redemption against Test and Knox and for CM Punk to gain a spot in the Royal Rumble. As Text and Knox are helped to the outside by Kelly Kelly, CM Punk and Tommy Dreamer come to a stare in the middle of the ring. Tommy Dreamer grabs the hand of CM Punk and raises it in the air as CM Punk looks hesistant to embrace Dreamer. The show ends with Tommy Dreamer walking away from CM Punk, who stands alone in the ring with his arms raised high above his head.

Winner : Tommy Dreamer & CM Punk

RPS · September 15, 2006

Friday Night Smackdown

Friday, January 5th 2007

“The return of Smackdown!.”

The show kicks off with a new video introduction with the exclusion of the wrestlers shifted to the other brands (Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio, the Mexicools, etc). Prominently featured is King Booker and Company, Batista, Bobby Lashley, Chavo Guerrero and Ken Kennedy. When we head too the ring, the pyroes invite the audience to cheer and hold up their signs. The Smackdown ring is surrounded by the entire Smackdown roster, as Theodore Long stands inside. Tazz and Cole sound exhausted as they welcome the audience too Smackdown and state they are tired after covering both ECW and RAW this week. Before they can go in-depth, Theodore Long interrupts in the ring.

Theodore Long

“Listen up playas, because Smackdown has returned!” (Long pauses for the fans to stop cheering) “Smackdown has been out of action since September and playas, holla at me if it’s been too long! That is right, folks, Smackdown has returned and it is going to be off the charts. Royal Rumble is coming just around the corner and Smackdown has to show it’s true colors. We gotta represent for Smackdown, we gotta promote our own too the top. The World Heavyweight Champion, as you know, is a Smackdown super star! Not only does Smackdown have the chance to keep the belt on a Smackdown wrestler, but a Smackdown wrestler has the chance to beat 29 other men and win the Royal Rumble. Holla at me if you folks want to see a Smackdown wrestler win the Royal Rumble!” (Long pauses for the cheers) “Well, later on this evening you will get to witness the 10 wrestlers I have handpicked too participate in the Royal Rumble, when they wrestle in a 10 man, over the top battle royale. The battle royale tonight will be important, because in 3 weeks time the GMs of the 3 brands will meet on Smackdown to draw the postions for their brand, and playas, I am going to assign the wrestlers based on their performance in the Royal Rumble. The last man standing in the Battle Royale tonight will be given the last Smackdown spot in the Battle Royale, and the first man tossed over will be given a spot at the start of the Rumble. Playas, I gotta make sure that Smackdown comes out on top as the number one brand and I am going to pull out all of the stops. The first known competitor in the Royal Rumble is King Booker, who made the announcement on ECW on Tuesday. And after speaking with King Booker and his Royal Company prior to the show, it has come to my attention that King Booker would like to say something.”

King Booker enters the ring with Fit Finlay and William Regal close by his side. King Booker looks a little flustered after the attack he suffered on Tuesday from Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney, but with his two henchman by his side he seems a bit at ease.

William Regal

“Silence you lot of suckas, the Royal King Booker is about to grace your presence with a speech!”

King Booker

“That is right, suckas, King Booker has something important to say. Sharmell, get my Royal Proclamation.” (Sharmell enters the ring with a scroll and she hands it too King Booker thanks her for it.) “Thy King Would Like For Batista, World Heavyweight Champion, To Step Forward!” (Batista is on the outside and he looks confused as he steps into the ring holding his World Heavyweight title.) “You Defeated The Royal And Almighty King Booker, But A Rematch Clause May Be Invoked Within 30 Days Of A Champion's Defeat For A Rematch!”

Theodore Long

“What my playa is saying, David, is that you owe King Booker a rematch.”

Batista

“Deal. I’ll sign on the dotted line. Give me him at the Royal Rumble.”

King Booker

“Wait one second, sucka. You don’t speak before the King is done, got it punk? I could invoke the rematch clause, but that would mean I couldn’t compete in the Royal Rumble, sucka.”

Theodore Long

“Due to the recent unification of the titles, no Title holder NOR potential title holders may compete in the Royal Rumble!”

King Booker

“Exactly, see that is what I am talking about dawg. And I mean, I could wrestle you at the Royal Rumble and become the SEVEN TIME, SEVEN TIME, SEVEN TIME HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… or I could toss over 29 suckas, win the Royal Rumble and win Wrestlemaina. Do you know what that means, sucka? That means that the King would win the King of the Ring, the Royal Rumble AND the main event at Wrestlemaina. Can you dig that?”

Batista

“Ok, so than you don’t want your rematch than? Fair game.”

King Booker

“Hold on sucka. My rematch clause, and every rematch clause, has something typed in fine print. Give me the Royal Proclamation, suckas!” (Finlay and Regal grab a new scroll and hand it too them.) “If The Former Champion Chooses, They May Defer Their Title Shot To A Wrestler Of Their Choosing. Can you dig that, sucka?”

Batista

“Is there a point too this?”

King Booker

“You shut your mouth when you are talking to the King, sucka! The point is that I am appointing a replacement. I was going to appoint Booker’s Royal Company, but I knew that I needed my dawgs close too me in the Royal Rumble. Than I realized you needed someone who was going to batter you up for Wrestlemaina. Someone who was going to make my job in around 3 months a whole lot easier. Can you dig it? And I searched high and low, throughout my Kingdom, in order to find a replacement sucka. And at the end of the day, I choose a man who I think can take down the beast. Bobby Lashley.”

The fans explode in a cheer, but than their cheers turn to jeers when they realize what has just occurred. The rising star, Bobby Lashley, has been used as a pawn by his enemies and being pitted against his friend, Batista. Batista interrupts the fans reaction.

Batista

“Hold on! Wait one damn second. Is this legal, Theo? Is this even allowed?”

Theodore Long

“Technically the contract gives a former champion the chance to defer their rematch to another super star. The clause is never revoked because no sane person would give up a chance to fight the Champion. The only way the rematch would become null and void is if the challenger refused to accept the title match.”

Bobby Lashley steps up, and into the ring. Lashley stares down The Royal Company and than stares down Batista as the two beast’s come face to face. Lashley asks for the microphone and Batista hands it too him.

Bobby Lashley

“You afraid of me, Batista?”

Batista

“Hell no.”

Everyone’s attention is on the two big men, as they stand in the ring, within inches of each other, ready to rip each other apart. King Booker looks pleased with his work, as he seems to have pitted his two greatest foes against each other.

Bobby Lashley

“May the best man win?”

Bobby Lashley extends his hand for a shake and Batista shakes his hand. The two than turn their attention to King Booker and his Royal Company as they open fire with lefts and rights! The entire Smackdown ring becomes pandemonium, as wrestlers are flying left and right! Theodore Long tries to stop everyone from fighting, but is unable. Eventually, Smackdown staff are able to manage the fight and before we head to a commercial break, we see that Long is scowling on the ramp, angry of the behavior of the Smackdown wrestlers.

Match Number One : Big Vito versus Mike The Miz

Coming out first is the dress wearing tough men, Big Vito. Wearing a pink outfit with a flower printed on the left side, he strangely seems to look tougher than ever. Big Vito grimaces at the fans as he bounces off the ropes and tries to gain some heat from the fans, to no avail. Out next is the Diva Search Host and general irritating son of a bitch, The Miz. The fans generally ignore the clueless Miz, who simply rolls into the ring and the match kicks off. The two go through a basic series of moves. But wait… Big Vito’s dress happens to feature prominently and make the Miz uncomfortable, creating a formula for comedy. Only problem? This ain’t funny.

After four minutes of this brutal match-up, we are saved. The MVP interrupts on his cell phone and he is talking up a storm. When Big Vito is thrown to the outside, he gets in the face of the MVP and tries to get a rise out of him by taunting him with the dress. The MVP places his cell phone on the mat before throwing Big Vito in the steel ring steps, causing the referee to call for the bell. The Miz is shocked on the inside of the ring, but the MVP doesn’t want him too feel left out. The MVP enters the ring and takes out the Miz with a spinning back kick to the head, which Cole and Tazz hype up as the Malicious Intent. Demanding the attention of the audience and a microphone, it appears as though the MVP owns the ring.

Montel Vontavious Porter

“When I, the MVP, am ready to talk than everyone better shut up and listen. I know what everyone is talking about – how Montel, the MVP, is the biggest force in the biz by being the hottest free agent around. Well, not anymore. I signed on the dotted line just last week and joined the ranks of Smackdown. After months of silence and word of mouth hype, the MVP has arrived here on Smackdown. I always said “no contract, no contact”, but baby, I signed on the dotted line. You may be wondering – what did the hottest free agent in the wrestling business demand from Smackdown? I can’t disclose the finer details of the contract signed, but lets just say that I am more than pleased with the offer I received from Theodore Long and that I, the MVP, will be an integral part of Smackdown for quite some time.”

The MVP throws the microphone down as he heads to the backstage area, leaving many scratching their heads – what were the finer details of the MVP’s contract that cannot be disclosed? In the backstage area, we see that Theodore Long is standing by with Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke.

Theodore Long

“Playa, I know that people may not think you are ready, but I’ve got faith in you. At the Royal Rumble, you will take part in the three way dance for the Intercontinental title. Holla at me playa if you feel it.”

Elijah Burke

“He feels you, ‘playa’.”

Theodore Long

“Did I ask you or him, playa?”

Elijah Burke

“Sylvester isn’t in the mood for answering questions, ‘playa’.”

Theodore Long

“Well he damn well better get in the mood since I just gave him a shot to win the Intercontinental title!”

Theodore Long storms off from Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay who look pleased at the fact that Sylvester was just awarded a shot at the Intercontinental title and literally did NOTHING to deserve a shot. I’ll let it slide due to the fact that the WWE roster is SLIM at best, but c’mon. At least work it into the story lines why Sylvester is given a shot at the Intercontinental Title. As we head to a commercial break, Sylvester is shown smiling as Elijah Burke shakes his hand.

Match Number Two : Jamie Noble versus Sho Funaki (Number One Contender for Cruiserweight title)

When we return from break, the ring announcer makes note that the next contest is a Number One Contender match for a shot against Gregory Helm’s at the Royal Rumble. Out first is Jamie Noble, who is has seemed to drop the Pitbull gimmick and looks vanilla as hell. Sho Funaki is out next, and Japanese super star has the fans clearly behind him. Even as the match begins and the two go through a series of reversals, which ends with Jamie Noble applying a front face lock. Noble has the hold locked in tightly, but Funaki breaks it and applies a wrist lock. Sho Funaki uses this attempt to rally the fans and to taunt Noble, which fuels him to kick it up a notch.

Noble goes for a Texas cloverleaf, but Funaki manages to grab hold of his leg and make Noble collapse to the mat. Funaki tries for a leg lock, but Noble breaks free easily and applies a head lock. After a leap frog, Noble takes Funaki out with a drop kick. Noble goes for a Tiger Driver, but Sho Funaki hits a small package which Noble kicks out of! The fans are actually getting into the bout as Sho Funaki hits near fall after near fall! Noble eventually puts the breaks on when he sets up for the tombstone pile driver! But Funaki reverses it and goes for his own tomb stone pile driver. But Noble reverses it into a head scissors take down in a sight to be seen! Noble is taking Sho Funaki too the corner when Jimmy Wayne Yang makes his way too the ring carrying fat guns and dressed straight out of a John Wayne movie. The fans cheer him, for the sheer comedy of the sight. He proceeds to fire the guns off into the air and dance, much like the Smoking Gunns of the 90’s, but a lot more comical. This distracts Jamie Noble which allows for Sho Funaki too roll up Noble and too get the victory. Noble cannot believe what just happened as Jimmy Wayne Yang is still shooting his guns off into the air. Sho Funaki is awarded the match and the shot at the Royal Rumble! Jamie Noble is irate on the outside as he shoves Jimmy Wayne Yang and tells him he is a joke! Jimmy Wanye Yang picks up a microphone.

Jimmy Wanye Yang

“I-uh am American Redneck! You-ah sissy boy!”

This officially puts Jamie Noble over the edge as he goes to attack Jimmy Wayne Yang. But Yang runs off to the back and it is a wild goose chase as Jamie Noble chases after him and the two disappear into the backstage area. When we return, it is hyped that Batista and Bobby Lashley will be competing in separate matches TONIGHT. When we return from the commercial break, we get the third match of the night.

Match Number Three: Bobby Lashley versus Idol Steven’s /w Michelle McCool

Out first is Idol Stevens, accompanied to the ring by Michelle McCool. Idol Steven’s is basically getting no heat. The second Lashley’s music hits and the big man emerges from the set he gets a huge pop. Lashley wastes no time as he heads too the ring and kick starts the match. Idol plays the cocky heel as he tries to avoid Lashley at every turn and ends up getting hit with the big moves. Lashley hits a running power slam, a shoulder tackle and a rib breaker among other moves too help subdue the smaller and quicker Idol Steven’s.

Lashley signals for the end as Idol Steven’s crawls too his feet. Lashley nearly breaks the guy in two following a spear and Lashley is up too his feet and signals for the end. Lashley picks him up in the air and crushes him with a Dominator in the center of the ring. Lashley hooks the leg and as a result, gets the three count. Lashley didn’t even take a single blow from his opponent and beat him in under five minutes. Lashley has his arm raised by the referee as Michelle tends to Idol Steven’s. Post-match, Lashley walks up the ramp as the fans give him a great reception. Lashley raises one arm in the air as he heads too the backstage area.

Winner: Bobby Lashley

In the backstage area, we see that there is a group of wrestlers standing around talking around a table full of foods. It seems like a good number of jobbers are there, including Big Vito, Jamie Noble, Scotty 2 Hotty, Kid Kash amongst others. The camera zooms out a bit and we see that there is a black guy watching the wrestlers. He oozes cool the second you look at him, wearing a shirt that says “I.D.O.L” and is wearing some Nike running shoes and cameo shorts. He is wearing a chain around his neck with a huge dollar sign signal and another with the word “I.D.O.L” on it. After a moment of watching this man, he steps up too Big Vito and shakes his hand.

Big Vito

“Who the hell are you?”

Eli Idol

“ Eli Idol, the chairman of I.D.O.L and avid wrestling fan. I’ve seen your work in the ring, I dig it man, it is definitely fly. I even respect the drag queen gig you got going on, you are representing yourself and I give you props, man. Anyone guy can wear a suit their entire life, but it takes a real man to wear a dress for five minutes.”

Big Vito

“Is this some sort of joke?”

Eli Idol

“Nah, dawg, this ain’t no joke. I am bein’ real with you, because I respect you. Here, I’ll make you a no BS guarantee, man. You don’t believe me? I.D.O.L Entertainment will represent you, free of charge. I guarantee YOU that you can win any title, at any given moment, with my help.”

Big Vito

“Haha, is this a rib? Who put ya up too this?”

Eli Idol

“No rib, I swear. I promise you a major title victory and I’ll lend my services for free.”

Big Vito

“Know I now you are lying. If you don’t get outta my face quick, I’m gonna bash it in. And don’t try to peddle those crap lies around here, I’m gonna warn the boys about you.”

Eli Idol

“Do what you want, man. You can turn down my offer, man. And you can warn everyone here that I am a no good liar. But I am gonna prove you wrong, dawg. Some down on their luck wrestler is gonna turn to me, and I am gonna make them a super star. You watch out for I.D.O.L, because we be making stars.”

Eli Idol extends his hand for a shake and Big Vito looks weary to shake his hand. Big Vito shakes his hand, confused by what has just happened. As the two finish their hand shake, Danny Idol walks away from the crowd of people who are all giving him skeptical looks.

Scotty 2 Hotty

“What a joke!”

Kid Kash

“No good liar! Promising a title victory! How can he promise that?”

Jamie Noble

“What did he say his name was?”

Big Vito

“Eli Idol. I’ve seen his type before. They all come in and act like hot shots, promisin’ the world. Ends up scamming you, taking your money and your left with nothing but the clothes off your back. In my case, my favorite pink tutu. Used to happen back in the old days.”

As the wrestlers discuss Eli a bit more, we see that Paul London has walked away from the group and the camera follows him. Paul London approaches Eli Idol in the hall way and shakes his hand.

Paul London

“Are you the real deal?”

Eli Idol

“What do you mean, the real deal dawg? I don’t know if I am the real deal, but I promise you I give results.”

Paul London

“Here is my situation… tonight, I am in the Battle Royale, up against 9 other wrestlers. If I win, I get the last Smackdown spot for the Royal Rumble.”

Eli Idol

“I know your situation, dawg. I got ears, I got eyes. Ya wanna win this Battle Royale, right dawg?”

Paul London

“Yeah…”

Eli Idol

“Walk with me, man.”

Eli Idol proceeds to walk away, as Paul London catches up and tries to walk beside him. As we head to a commercial break, they turn down a corridor and proceed to walk away from the camera which fades too commercial.

Match Number Four : World Heavyweight Champion Batista versus K.C James /w Michelle McCool (NON-TITLE MATCH)

When we return from a commercial break, we are ready for Batista taking on K.C James. Batista is out first and the fans pop big time for the World Heavyweight Champion. Batista enters the ring and K.C James is already inside waiting for his challenger. K.C James rushes him and Batista nearly takes his head off with a lariat. Batista whips him into the ropes and hits a back body drop high into the air. Batista waits for K.C to struggle to his feet before he hits a flying shoulder tackle that looks like it could break the smaller framed wrestler in two. Batista delivers a cocky cover, but lets him kick out at 2. Batista whips him into the ropes and destroys him with a Spine buster! Batista goes for the Batista bomb, but K.C James reverses it into a hurricrana!

K.C James mounts a come back and actually has Batista reeling from the offense. K.C James climbs to the top rope and levels him with a flying elbow drop and hooks the leg, but kicks out. Batista is having a bit of trouble taking out K.C James, moreso than Lashley had taking out Idol Steven’s. Batista dodges a super kick and kicks K.C James in the gut and than destroys him with the Batista Bomb. With a hook of the leg and a three count, the contest has been decided. Batista grabs his World Heavyweight title and is sure to lift it into the air and show it off to the fans.

But wait! Lashley makes his way down too the ring and proceeds to have a stare down with Batista. The two big men are inches away from each other, nose to nose; eye to eye and looking ready to rip the other man apart. Lashley extends his hand for a shake and Batista shakes his hand. Batista side steps Lashley and heads up the ramp. Lashley takes this chance to level Batista from behind with a forearm smash. Batista takes a dive and lands head first on the steel ramp! Lashley lays the boots on him while getting a mixed reaction from the fans. Lashley picks him up and signals for a Dominator on the steel ramp! But wait, Batista back body drops him on the steel ramp and waits for him to get up. Batista goes for a lariat, but Lashley ducks it. Batista almost runs right into the Smackdown set, but puts the brakes on the at the last second and stops himself from certain tragedy. When he turns around though, Lashley spears him and the two proceed to crash through the Smackdown set! Sparks fly everywhere and the lights in the arena dim as Smackdown staff make their way too the ramp! They surround the gaping hole in the Smackdown set. But wait! Batista and Lashley emerge from the hole and the two are brawling now! Smackdown staff are barely able to pull the two big men apart as they seem ready to prove they are the biggest dog on Smackdown! Batista and Lashley are barely pulled apart as Theodore Long comes out on the ramp with a microphone in hand.

Theodore Long

“I am sick and tired, playas, of you two causing a ruckus. Twice tonight you two caused a ruckus and stopped the Smackdown show from continuing. You two playas need to learn to get along and next week I am going to make sure you do. You two will be taking on Fit Finlay and William Regal, next week, in a tag-team match. But there is a stipulation playas. If Fit Finlay or William Regal manage to pin Batista, they will win the World Heavyweight title. Not only does that mean that Batista will lose his title, but Lashley will lose your shot at the title at the Royal Rumble. You two playas may be enemies, but you gotta learn how to be get along while you are here on Smackdown and save it for the Rumble! Holla, holla!”

Theodore Long throws the microphone down as Batista and Lashley are held back from ripping each other to pieces. We head to commercial break as the two are escorted to the back separately.

Winner: Batista

When we return, the ring is empty and there is a throw to Cole and Tazz who talk briefly about the Royal Rumble contest. They say that this year is going to shake the foundations of the Royal Rumble, because of the third brand. Cole says that many people are already discussing strategies – Cole says that now more than ever you will see friend and enemies working together for their own brand, and friends working against each other because they are on different brands. Cole says that all three General Managers want to secure themselves as the top brand and are going to work together in order to make themselves look good. Tazz states that it should be no problem for Smackdown, because they have talented wrestlers who can make it to the end. Tazz and Cole are interrupted on the ramp when ECW’s theme music hits. Tazz and Cole say they were expecting this all night. Justin Credible and Balls Mahoney are emerging from the crowd, carrying the char broiled Throne of Booker T! Balls Mahoney has a chair in one hand and the Throne in the other, while Justin has his Singapore Cane. Tazz says that these two mean business and things are definitely going to escalate. Balls and Credible hop over the railing and take the Throne, before tossing it into the ring. Credible rips a microphone away from the ring announcer as he rolls into the ring. Credible doesn’t waste time before he speaks up.

Justin Credible

“Listen up! I know all of you Smackdown fans are at the edge of your seat, waiting too see that ‘breath-taking’ battle royale, but we’ve got a more important message. This is about the sovereignty of OUR brand.” (pointing at himself and Balls with the Singapore cane) “We are sick and tired of RAW and Smackdown wrestlers showing up on ECW on SciFi and acting like you own the place. You look down on us and treat us like we aren’t on the same level as you. I’ll tell you why you think that – your head is so big you can’t see anything around you. Fans are sick and tired of the same old bull crap they see on Mondays and Fridays; and we, ECW, give them the alternative. How can we be the alternative when we have the Royal Court Jester and the Juice Man showing up every week? No, no, we don’t need or want any RAW or Smackdown wrestler’s showing up on ECW television any more. ECW can thrive on it’s own for own reason. And it ain’t because we aren’t just the greatest, not because we aren’t just the best, it is because we are JUST INCREDIBLE.”

Justin Credible tosses the microphone too the side of the ring as he and Balls Mahoney roll out of the ring. Instead of hopping over the railing and heading too the backstage area, they pull up two chairs too the announce booth and sit down. Cole is hesitant to welcome them to Smackdown, but Tazz shakes their hand and welcomes them in time for the main event.

Main Event: King Booker, William Regal, Fit Finlay, Ken Kennedy, The MVP, Kid Kash, Chavo Guerrero, Paul Birchall, Scotty 2 Hotty, Paul London (BATTLE ROYALE)

It is announced that these are the 10 wrestler’s representing Smackdown at the Royal Rumble! It is also announced that their performance tonight will affect what spot they draw in the Rumble. The last remaining super star will get the last Smackdown spot and so forth, until the first super star eliminated gets the first Smackdown spot. Coming out first for the match is King Booker and his Royal Company! They snub the fans as they attempt to intimidate the fans. When they hit the ring, Mr. Ken Kennedy is announced, by his own doing and we head to a commercial break. When we return, we see that everyone is in the ring except for one person. Paul London’s theme music plays as London makes his way too the ring with Eli Idol. As they near the ring, Eli Idol gives London a pep talk as he slaps him across the face and yells “give ‘em hell!” London shakes his hand and than slides into the ring. The battle royale kicks off with fists being thrown left and right. From the announce booth, we see that Balls Mahoney and Justin Credible have stood up and gone to opposite sides of the ring apron. They stand on the ring apron and Credible clocks Finlay and Regal with two cane shots a piece. Meanwhile, Booker is crowned (pun intended) with a chair shot by Mahoney. This stuns the three wrestlers, which allows for everyone else to gang up and toss them over the top rope! Booker hits the floor first, followed by Finlay and Regal. Credible and Mahoney waits for the Royal Company to get to their feet before they take off through the audience and the Royal Company chase after them. Meanwhile, King Booker is in shock over being tossed over first that he cannot comprehend what has happened. He just watched his Rumble dreams become shattered – opting out of a title shot, only to end up getting the first Smackdown spot in the Rumble. Sharmell tries to comfort him while he is led up the ramp.

Meanwhile in the ring, the heels are dominating the faces. The MVP has Scotty 2 Hotty in the corner, while Chavo and Kid Kash work over the returning Paul Burchall (who is totally lacking the Pirate gimmick, by the way.) Ken Kennedy is attempting to toss over Paul London, while Eli Idol watches from the outside. Idol is encouraging London from the outside, which allows for him to channel the spirits and too take Kennedy down with a dropsault. Meanwhile, out of no where Burchall finds himself tossed over the ropes by the MVP, Chavo Guerrero and Kid Kash! Almost minutes later, Scotty 2 Hotty is tossed over by the same three wrestlers. The heels have unified and things do not look good as Paul London is up against almost impossible odds. We head to a commercial break as all four heels are trying to eliminate him.

When we return from break, we see that London is in the ring and Kid Kash is seemingly missing from the picture. We see over the break the foursome tried to toss over London, but that he dodged each attack and managed to stay in. We see that London aligned himself with Kash, as the two shook hands. This enraged the heels, who all rallied together and tossed over Kash. In the ring though, it seems as though a split has arisen once again in the heel alliance. Chavo is in a shoving match with the MVP, as the two are claiming the other is untrustworthy. Meanwhile, London sneaks up from behind and tosses over Chavo Guerrero! Chavo Guerrero cannot believe what just happened as he slams his hands across the mat. Meanwhile, the final three are Ken Kennedy, the MVP and Paul London. Ken Kennedy catches his breath in the corner while the MVP and London eye each other down. It seems like they are going to come to blows, when the two shake hands. Ken Kennedy doesn’t like the looks of this, as the MVP and London double team him. After an amazing back sweep-Dropsault combo, the MVP and London toss him over the top rope and too the floor with a hip toss. The MVP and London are the final two, which is surprising given London’s size and the MVP’s lack of experience on Smackdown.

The fans are actually rallying behind London, as they chant his name. London acknowledges their cheer with a wave of the hand. The two look up and London manages to gain the advantage, only to get tossed into the ropes. The MVP tosses him over the top rope! But London lands on the apron, but the cocky MVP is already celebrating his victory. Meanwhile, London hits a spring board drop kick that knocks the MVP too the apron! London goes for a spinning heel kick, but the MVP ducks it and London hits nothing but the ropes. The MVP enters the ring and attempts to toss London over the top, but London hangs on and skins the cat half way, grabbing the MVP by the head with a head scissors and tossing him over the top rope! Paul London has done the unthinkable and won the Battle Royal, giving him the last Smackdown spot in the Royal Rumble! Paul London is actually kinda over with the fans as he raises his arms in the air. Eli Idol, who watched the entire match from the outside, rolls into the ring and shakes the hand of Paul London, before raising it into the air. Cole and Tazz state that a new era has been born on Smackdown, from better or worse. Tazz and Cole rave about what Eli Idol did exactly too help Paul London beat the odds and win the Battle Royale. As the show ends, Tazz and Cole state that a “rags too riches story” and scaling the pecking order here on Smackdown, with Paul London putting himself on the map with a huge win.

Winner : Paul London (runner-up The MVP)

Edited September 15, 2006 by PunkRockPete

RPS · September 23, 2006

WWE Monday Night RAW

Monday, January 8th 2007

“Kick it up a notch!”

We get the RAW opening as the introduction video plays and we head too the ring where the fans have packed into the building. As pyroes fly off into the distance and explode, the fans seem ready for a night of action. The camera closes in on Michael Cole, who is without Tazz tonight. Michael Cole states that there is a new voice for RAW! Michael Cole announces that Todd Grisham will be his announce partner for this evening, and there is a silence amongst the fans. No one is quite sure how to react as the small figured geek makes his way towards the announce booth. But wait… some rap music blares across the speakers as Todd Grisham looks confused. The man who appeared on Smackdown last week, Eli Idol, makes his way out from the backstage area. He shoves Todd Grisham aside and than sits down beside Michael Cole. Eli Idol states that I.D.O.L Entertainment is in the hizouse and that he heard they needed a new voice on RAW. Cole tries to say that Todd was going to be the new announcer, but Idol kicks the show off by giving a run down of the events – Carlito’s cool camp, Batista is gonna be “heere”, the IC title tournament begins and Royal Rumble qualifying matches. As soon as Cole tries to speak up, he is cut off by the familiar theme music of Chris Master’s!

Match Number One : The Masterpiece Chris Master versus The Problem Solver Travis Tomko (Royal Rumble Qualifying Match)

After his special entrance is done (with pyro in tact), the slimed down Chris Masters walks down the ramp, as the fans are wondering who to cheer and who to jeer in this match. As Chris Master’s enters the ring, the Problem Solver Travis Tomko makes his way towards the ring. Tomko wastes no time, as the second he steps in the ring the two beasts are already at each other’s throats. After some uninspiring brawling, that includes no more than two botched spots, Tomko nearly takes off Master’s head with a Yakza kick that sends Master’s too the apron. Tomko hits a shoulder tackle that sends Master’s too the outside. Tomko follows him too the outside and attempts too whip him into the steel ring steps, and railing, but the two big men find it hard to over power the other. Eventually Tomko hits a thumb to the eye and whips Master’s into steel steps which sends them flying. Tomko picks up Master’s and shoves him into the ring before he attempts too cover him. A kick out at two, though as it is going to take more than that to keep the big man down.

Chris Master’s dodges a lariat by Tomko and hits a big boot that barely hits the chest of Tomko. Tomko is stunned as Master’s lifts him into the air and hits a side walk slam. Master’s signals for the Masterlock as he stalks Tomko on the mat. When Tomko is on one knee, Master’s apples the Masterlock! The move is in and Tomko is finding it impossible too escape. As Tomko finds himself slumping over and falling victim to the Masterlock, he manages to put his leg on the ropes, breaking the hold. Master’s releases the hold and tosses Tomko to the mat. He signals for another Masterlock, but when he goes to lock it in, Tomko hits a concealed low blow. Tomko goes for another Yakuza kick, but Master’s ducks it and than locks in the Masterpiece for good! Tomko is too far away from the ropes this time and finds himself forced to tap out! Chris Master’s has won the match and therefore has won a spot in the Royal Rumble! Chris Master’s has his hand raised by the referee, but his victory is short lived as Tomko attacks him from behind. After a whip into the ropes, Tomko catches him and applies the Problem Solver (aka, the Bearhug). Master’s cannot break the hold as Tomko has it in almost perfectly. A few referee’s manage to pry Tomko off of Master’s, who lies on the mat lifeless. Tomko shouts at Master’s that he’ll never be able to break the Problem Solver! We head to a commercial break as we get a close-up on Master’s who is just regaining consciousness.

Winner: Chris Master’s

When we return from break, we get a long shot of a limousine. The back door opens and out gets Batista, and the audience goes crazy. With the World Heavyweight title draped down his shoulder, Batista looks tired. Batista is greeted by Sean Daivari, who shakes his hand and offers to take his bags.

Sean Daivari

“Welcome to RAW, Mr. Batista. I would like to thank you for your appearance here tonight. We are so grateful to host a super star like you.”

Batista

“Cool it, Daivari, get your nose out of my ass. Sucking up isn’t going to get you any where.”

Sean Daivari

“Well, it is just… I don’t know how to put this in the proper terms…”

Batista

“Spit it out, Daivari.”

Sean Daivari

“Well, you aren’t needed on RAW.” (The fans boo as Sean Daivari just dealt a blow to the ego of Batista) “We appreciate your hospitality, but we don’t need, or want, your services tonight.”

Batista

“Hold on. The World Heavyweight Champion isn’t needed? You hype me up too all of the fans, telling them that Batista is going to show up and than you fail to give the fans what they wanted. The Animal! The World Heavyweight Champion!” (Batista is nearly shouting now as he seems enraged.) “I traveled in the WWE private jet in order to arrive here and than you tell me … I’m not needed? How about this – how about I go out too the ring right now and you send any wrestler out and I’ll demolish them in three minutes. Heck, even give me that spoiled rotten son of a bitch, Victor Venis.”

Sean Daivari

“Mr. Batista…”

Batista

“You can’t stop me from going out too the ring, Daivari. I’m the World Heavyweight Champion – I belong in the building as much as you do, or anyone else.” (A slew of police guards appear from behind Batista and he turns around and chuckles. Sean Daivari shrugs his shoulder as the fans are booing him mercifully. Batista looks ready to jump Sean Daivari, but calms himself down.) “I see the writing on the wall, Daivari. You don’t want a Smackdown wrestler to come too RAW and show you how it is done. I understand.”

Sean Daivari

“Mr. Batista, I assure you that any RAW wrestler could show you up. I don’t have to prove myself too you, or anybody else for that matter.”

Batista shakes his head in disbelief as he simply walks away from the police officers. The camera follows Batista as he heads back to the limousine. As he tries to open the limousine door, we see he is unable to open it. He tries it a few more times and than gets angry. He walks too the driver’s window and knocks on it. The window rolls down and we see that Francine is in the drivers seat. She smiles and waves at Batista as she rolls up the window. The sun roof is open now and Victor Venis II emerges with an open bottle of champagne! Batista crosses his arms in anger as he realizes his limousine has been jacked.

Victor Venis II

“Hello Mr. Batista! From your limousine, I could see that you got the welcome you deserved here on RAW. I guess your ego has made you so blind, that you can’t see that we on RAW don’t need your pity. All we wanted is your World Heavyweight Title. And correct me if I am wrong, Batista, but isn’t this the title?” (Victor Venis disappears from the sun roof and reemerges holding the World Heavyweight title.) “Now that RAW has what we want… well, to be frank Batista, we don’t need you anymore.”

Batista slams his fists against the limousine window as Venis disappears back into the limo and it drives off. Batista chases it a bit, but he finds that the Police Officers are standing in his way. Batista considers trying to brawl with the officers, but he see realises that they have strength in numbers.

Sean Daivari

“Mr. Batista, I am afraid you aren’t allowed on RAW.”

Batista

“You think you can take my title and I am just going to sit back and take it?”

Sean Daivari

“Escort him from MY building, boys.”

The police officers surround Batista and proceed to show him towards the exit. Batista is hesistant to follow them, but instead of risking his safety he obliges too being escorted out. Daivari has a smug grin on his face, while you can hear the live audience booing Daivari and clearly upset. We head to a commercial break as we see that Batista is officially escorted out of the building. The fans are very vocal in booing the decision to escort Batista from the arena. When we return, the fans aren’t as vocal as before the commercial break – mainly because Todd Grisham is waiting by. He casually mentions that he is angry about his place at the announce booth being taken – Eli Idol simply laughs and tells him to drink some haterade and Michael Cole isn’t really sure what Eli means – but Grisham says he has more important business tonight.

Todd Grisham

“Last week, the RAW viewers witnessed the debut of the rising star, Sonny Siaki. Although he was successful in his bout against Tajiri, it wasn’t without controversy. Former WWE super star, Chris Kanyon, showed up on a colorful scooter under the new moniker Chris Kashmere. The flamboyant and openly gay Kashmere helped Sonny Siaki defeat Tajiri by distracting him. Well, word is running rampant and we have plenty of questions for Sonny Siaki, who should be arriving at any second.”

Todd Grisham steps aside as Sonny Siaki steps into view of the camera. Siaki is wearing a pair of oversized sun glasses, a stylish t-shirt with the word “sex” on it and some tight jeans. Siaki looks Grisham up and down before he takes off his sun glasses and hangs them around his shirt collar.

Todd Grisham

“Mr. Siaki, rumours have been running wild since your debut last week.”

Sonny Siaki

“Ok.”

Todd Grisham

“Well, the question on everyone’s mind is – what is your relation to Chris Kashmere?”

Sonny Siaki

“What are you gettin' at Grisham? We are friends.”

Todd Grisham

“Just friends? Or are you two more than friends?”

Sonny Siaki

“Is this a joke? You are joking right?”

Todd Grisham

“No, I am not. WWE Headquarters and WWE.com have been a buzz with word on whether you and Chris Kashmere are … well… a couple.”

Sonny Siaki

“So, wait. Since Chris Kashmere is gay, and since he may, or may not, have helped me out last week you assume we are dating? Hell, you even think I am gay!”

Todd Grisham

“Well, are you gay?”

Sonny Siaki

“No comment.” (Sonny Siaki looks a little angry with Todd Grisham, as he seems to be avoiding answering questions.) “You got any more questions?”

Todd Grisham

“What is your relation to Chris Kashmere.”

Sonny Siaki

“If all you are going to do is ask me questions about me being gay or not, this interview is over. I am a wrestler and who I sleep with doesn’t affect the fact that the Cocky Siaki has arrived.”

Sonny Siaki shoves Todd Grisham aside. As the camera man moves, he gets in the way of Sonny Siaki who shoves him aside and walks right past him. Grisham mumbles too the cameraman about how that interview bombed before we head too the ring.

Match Number Two : The Amazing Red versus The Great Khali

Already waiting in the ring is the Amazing Red, who is only announced after the fact. Cole, nor Tazz, make note of the fact of who the Amazing Red is; simply that he is going to get destroyed by the Great Khali. Out next is the Great Khali, who gets a negative reaction from the fans, who enters the ring and tries to intimidate The Amazing Red. Red plays up to his advantages – his speed. Bouncing off the ropes, dodging the attacks of Khali and climbing too the top. But each time he gains momentum, Khali sends him back too the mat with a big boot, or a hip toss, or an axe handle smash. We go to a commercial break as Khali tosses The Amazing Red over the top and he lands on the floor with a thud.

When we return, Khali is choking Red in the corner as the referee encourages him to break it up. A flashback of the break shows us that Red hit an amazing spring board body splash, but Khali caught him and threw him onto the steel ramp. He tossed him into the ring with ease and hit some typical big man moves. Meanwhile, Khali whips him into the ropes and hits an insane back body drop that gets some altitude as he soars high into the air and crashes into the mat with a bang. Khali signals that it is over as he sets up for the Great Bomb! But wait, Kendrick rushes too the ring and slides inside. This catches Khali off guard, as he releases the Great Bomb and chases after Brian Kendrick! Eventually the chase leads to the outside and Khali rushes up the ramp after Kendrick, leaving the Amazing Red dumb founded. Khali forgets the match is still taking part, as he high tails it back too the ring. But he is too slow, as he doesn’t make it in time and is COUNTED OUT! The Amazing Red is awarded the match by count out! Amazing Red celebrates, but it is short lived as Khali boots him in the face and than throws him over the top rope. Khali grabs a chair and cracks it over the skull of the Amazing Red before giving a war like shriek and running off to the backstage area!

Winner: The Great Khali

Brian Kendrick is shown running around backstage, avoiding people and crawling underneath tables. The cameraman is barely able to keep up. Eventually, Kendrick bumps into Sylvan, causing him to cover himself in a Cola beverage. Sylvan shrieks in anger as Kendrick looks shocked.

Sylvan

“Eh! Vous idiot! Diable!”

Brian Kendrick

“Oh, crap dude. So sorry! Parlor England?!?”

Sylvan

“It is parlez anglais, you English swine! You ruined my BRAND new shirt! ”

Brian Kendrick

“… you know, I can make this up too you. I just got to go out to my car and get something quick. What I need you to do is to stop The Great Khali if he walks by, because I have something important I need to tell him. I’ll be back in a second!”

Kendrick proceeds to sprint away while Sylvan attempts to wipe himself off. After a moment, The Great Khali tries to pass by Sylvan, but Sylvan grabs him by the arm. The Great Khali doesn’t take fondly too this physical assertion, and he hammers Sylvan with a fist too the face! Sylvan flies backwards and Khali isn’t through yet. He is so enraged, he hoists Sylvan in the air and hits the Great Bomb through a catering table, covering Sylvan’s brand new shirt in a collection of new stains. The camera follows Khali as he makes too to the parking lot, a second too late as Kendrick speeds off in a car. Shouting incoherent obscenities at Kendrick, Khali is left embarrassed for the second week in a row. As he proceeds to punch a cement wall, we head to a commercial break. When we return from commercial break, we see that the limousine from earlier has pulled up right beside the ramp as Victor Venis II theme music is playing. He emerges from the backseat of the car, wearing a tuxedo with the World Heavyweight title on his shoulder. Francine emerges from the driver’s seat and she grabs the hand of Victor Venis as they walk down too the ring together. Victor Venis stands on the apron as he helps Francine into the ring. Venis enters the ring, just in time to be handed a microphone from Francine.

Victor Venis II

“Salutations. I know you are all grateful, because Victor Venis II has decided to grace your appearance tonight. But don’t get too cocky – I am here not for the fans, but to fulfil contractual obligations. As you probably already now, I am currently in possession of the most powerful prize in the game – the World Heavyweight title belt. I know many jurisdictions look down on this kind of action as theft, but to hell with them. If the police come after me, I’ll buy them off. If the government comes after me, I’ll send a cheque to the good old GWB and my problems will go away. Money does wonders for people – not only have I established myself as more important than every last one of you…” (Venis pauses as the fans boo him.) “But now enough money and power to do whatever I want. You saw what I did earlier on – I ensured that Mr. Batista wasn’t permitted back into the arena and that I could parade down too the ring with his title belt.” (Venis looks down at the title with a mixture of envy and disgust.) “You know, people always rave about what an honor it is to have the title in their arms. I can now confide to you, that feeling is overrated. I actually feet disgusted holding this overrated piece of trash. Francine, what do you think?”

Francine

“I think you should dispose of that worthless title.”

Victor Venis II

“I think you are entirely correct, Ms. Francine. I think I am going to exercise my newly acquired power for each and every fan in attendance. I am going to take this title, decades and decades of tradition… of blood, sweat and tears… of hard-work … of dedication… and I am going to destroy it in front of your very eyes! Too prove not only how meaningless this title is, but the entire wrestling profession is. Hell, it’ll even prove how worthless each and every one of you is!”

As Victor Venis is giving his speech, Francine has gone to the outside and grabbed a trash can from underneath the ring. She places it square in the ring, and Venis disposes of the title. Grabbing into his tux pocket, he emerges with a bottle of lighter fluid. He readies to douse the title, when out of no where Rey Mysterio hits a spring board drop kick sending Venis too the outside of the ring! Rey Mysterio wastes no time as he hits a suicide dive through the middle rope and collides with Venis! Rey Mysterio hops back into the ring and grabs the World Heavyweight title from the trash can and rolls out of the ring. Clutching too the World Heavyweight title as he walks up the ramp, Venis is irate and seething after his plan was foiled by Rey Mysterio. Venis curses Mysterio as Mysterio picks up a microphone.

Rey Mysterio

“I am not going to sit back and watch you destroy decades of history Venis. I am not going to sit back and watch you destroy something so sacred too me, too these fans, and too fallen wrestler’s like Eddie Guerrero. This World Heavyweight title is why I starved myself years before I made it in WCW. This World Heavyweight title is why I starved myself the last two years, trying to overcome adversity and too capture it, despite all that happened to me. This World Heavyweight title is the reason I am still hungry – because I want to prove that I am at the top of the game, and I am not going to sit back and watch you destroy it!” (Mysterio gets a huge pop from the audience, as Venis has Francine by his side now.) “I am personally returning the World Heavyweight title too Batista on Friday night, and there isn't anything you can do.”

Rey Mysterio tosses the microphone aside while he walks up the ramp as his theme music plays. All the while, Val Venis looks to be a mixiture of angry and happy – angry that the World Heavyweight title has been stolen away from him, yet happy that he was able to get underneath the skin of both Batista and Rey Mysterio. We head to a quick commercial break as Eli Idol and Michael Cole hype up the fact that the IC Title Tournament will commence next.

Match Number Three : Tajiri versus Doug Basha (RAW’s Intercontinental Championship Tournament)

As Tajiri heads too the ring, we see that Doug Basham is already waiting for him. As Tajiri rolls into the ring, Basham levels him with a series of kicks and punches. Eventually Tajiri blocks one and hits a stiff leg sweep that sends Basham too the mat. Tajiri hits a stiff drop kick to the face that sends Basham sprawling! Tajiri hits a series of kicks and punches that has Basham reeling, and Tajiri finishes him off with a spinning heel kick too the face.

Tajiri sets up for the kick of death, but Basham ducks it and Tajiri hits nothing but air. As he spins around, Tajiri doesn’t catch Basham who rushes at him and takes him out with a clothes line. Basham tosses him to the outside and the referee turns his back. Doug rolls to the outside and hides underneath the ring while Danny Basham comes out of no where and replaces him! Danny waits for Tajiri to get back in the ring before he stomps away at him. Tajiri dodges a clothes line and hits a stiff kick to the gut. Danny hits a knee to the gut and than hits a bull dog on Tajiri. A cover only gets a two count, though. Coming out from the backstage area is Chris Kashmere, on the scooter once again! This catches the attention of Tajiri and the referee, as Danny Basham swaps places with his brother, Doug. Chris Kashmere waves to Tajiri, who is furious with Kashmere. Sneaking up behind Tajiri, Doug rolls him up and gets a two count! Tajiri is up to his feet and he kicks Doug in the stomach, causing him to fall to one knee. Tajiri drills him in the forehead with a stiff kick and than covers for the victory. Chris Kashmere takes this as his time to leave as he zooms up the ramp and too the backstage area. After Tajiri’s arm is raised in the air, he runs off to the backstage area after Chris Kashmere. Meanwhile, the Bashams aren’t too pleased with their loss – they hit their finisher, The Con, on the referee while Idol and Cole talk about how the Bashams seem to be up to no good after their recent shift to RAW.

Winner: Tajiri

As Tajiri rushes too the backstage area, he looks confused trying to find out where Chris Kashmere is. Tajiri eventually sees Chris Kashmere, who zooms by him on his flamboyant scooter. Tajiri tries to chase after him, but Tajiri runs right into a swinging chair shot. The camera zooms out and we see that Cocky Sonny Siaki is holding a chair with a huge dent in it. Siaki throws the chair down as he walks away from Tajiri. The camera switches too Carlito, who gets a rather large response from the audience. As the camera zooms out, we see Eddie has his back turned to the camera and that Carlito is smiling.

Eddie Caribbean Cool

“Are you sure I am cool enough?”

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Last week, you weren’t cool. You were … so uncool. But this week… you are cool.”

Eddie Caribbean Cool

“Does it even matter? My match with Brian Kendrick is going to be thrown out anyway, because he is going to no-show. I wouldn’t want to step foot in the same building as The Great Khali! So why should I wear all of this … “cool” stuff.”

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Because the fans… they want cool.” (huge pop) “That is why you signed up for Cool Camp!

Eddie Caribbean Cool

“I don’t give a damn what the fans want.” (huge heat) “I don’t even care about being cool. I care about the Intercontinental title! I don’t care what those nerds and dorks care about.”

Carlito Caribbean Cool

“Das not cool, bro.”

Carlito walks away from Eddie, who is still standing with his back turned. As soon as Carlito leaves the room, Eddie takes his shirt off and throws it too the ground. He picks his thick rimmed glasses from his pocket and strap them on his face, while he messes up his hair and walks away from the camera. We head to a quick commercial break, but we get a quick commercial for the Royal Rumble before. It basically hypes up the new elements of the Royal Rumble with there being three brands. It also hypes up the World Heavyweight title match between Lashey & Batista, the Cruiserweight title match between Helms and Funaki, plus more matches to be announced.

Match Number Four : Eddie Caribbean Cool versus Brian Kendrick

When we return from break, Eddie is already waiting in the ring for Kendrick. He is tapping his foot impatiently and looking down at the wrist. Eventually he grabs the referee and demands the match be awarded too him. The second he turns his back, Kendrick appears out of no where and hops onto the apron. He hits a spring board drop kick that sends Cool flying across the ring! Kendrick is up to his feet now and grabs the head of Eddie, only to plant him with a Tornado DDT! Kendrick covers, but a kick out at 2! Kendrick is frantic in his offensive, aware of the presence of the Great Khali backstage. When Eddie is up to his feet, Kendrick sends him sprawling to the outside with a leg lariat!

As Eddie hops too his feet, Kendrick hits an insane suicide dive that sends the two too the floor. Kendrick rolls him into the ring and he signals for the end. He goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but it back fires as Eddie reverses it and sends him too the mat. Eddie goes for a running elbow drop, but he misses as Kendrick moves. Kendrick is up to his feet and attempts to grab Eddie for another Sliced Bread #2, but The Great Khali is charging down the ramp. Kendrick releases the hold and takes off through the audience as Khali chases. The referee counts to ten and than awards the match too Eddie Caribbean Cool, by count-out, meaning Eddie advances too the semi-finals!

Winner: Eddie Caribbean Cool

In the backstage area, we see that Daivari is in his office doing some paper work. Gregory Helm’s and Shannon Moore enter, with Joey Mercury trailing behind. Helm’s and Moore are clearly excluding Mercury, based upon his physical proximity too the two other men.

Gregory Helm’s

“We heard the word on the street, Daivari…”

Shannon Moore

“Yeah, we heard the word on the street…”

Gregory Helm’s

“We aren’t happy… you actually okayed Rey Mysterio heading to Smackdown too return the World Heavvyweight title?…”

Shannon Moore

“You actually okayed that?…”

Gregory Helm’s

“What are you crazy?!?”

Sean Daivari

“Calm down, you two. Mysterio has every right to take back the title; the title is currently in his possession so I’ll let him do whatever he wants with it.”

Gregory Helm’s

“What if he takes the title and splits? …”

Shannon Moore

“Yeah… splits!!!”

Gregory Helm’s

“What if he goes on Smackdown and trashes the RAW brand! ”

Shannon Moore

“Yeah! Smackdown! And trashes!”

Sean Daivari

“What is the point of this?”

Gregory Helm’s

“We think Mysterio should be accompanied too Smackdown in order to make sure things go smoothly. You know what I am saying?”

Shannon Moore

“Smoothly!”

Sean Daivari

“Well, I can only send two of you.”

Gregory Helm’s

“Me and Moore, than.”

Joey Mercury

“Whatever.”

Sean Daivari

“Well, than it is settled. But I assure you – I do not want any funny business. Simply give back the title and come back to RAW.”

Gregory Helm’s

“I assure you there will be no funny business – “

Shannon Moore

“Unless you put on those silly green tights and go dressed as the Hurricane!”

Gregory Helm’s

“Shannon – did I say you could talk!?”

The three members of the Xtreme Crew walk out of the office of Sean Daivari, with Joey Mercury slowly trailing behind. It is hyped that the main event is up next – a Royal Rumble Qualifying match between Rey Mysterio and Mark Heny as we head to a commercial break.

Main Event : Rey Mysterio versus Mark Henry (Royal Rumble Qualifying Match)

Out first is Rey Mysterio, who flies up as his theme music hits. Mysterio gets a running start as he runs down too the ring, slapping the fans hands. After sliding into the ring, Mysterio climbs the top rope and raises his arm into the air, awaiting his challenger. Mark Henry is out next and he gains quite a bit of heat as he slowly makes his way too the ring. When he gets inside, the action kicks off as Mysterio levels him with a flying forearm! Henry is shaken up after the flying forearm, as he can barely dodge a spring board drop kick by Mysterio. Quick on his feet, Mysterio manages to take Henry too the outside. Mysterio teases a suicide dive, but he simply swings back into the ring. Meanwhile, we see that Victor Venis has crashed the announce booth with Francine by his side. Eli Idol is quick to befriend Venis, even going so far as to give him a calling card, but Cole gives Venis the cold shoulder.

Meanwhile in the ring, Henry hits an impressive body slam on Mysterio that looks to crush the small frame of Mysterio. Henry grabs him by the legs and hits an impressive helicopter like toss that sends Mysterio across the mat. Henry sizes him up and gets a running start before going for a splash. But Mysterio rolls out of the way and Henry hits nothing but mat. Mysterio tries to gain the advantage, but Henry catches him with a sidewalk slam that shakes the ring. Henry only gets a two count, as Mysterio’s shoulder gets up at the last second. Henry flips him over and applies a camel clutch. As Mysterio screams in pain, Henry applies more pressure as Mysterio yelps in pain. As we head to commercial break, Mysterio is on the brink of defeat, Henry is sternly in control and Venis is yelling from the announce booth for Mysterio to tap out!

As we return, Mysterio is in a bear hug as Henry whips him around like a rag doll. The fans are firmly behind Mysterio as the life is squeezed out of him. Eventually Henry gets frustrated with his progress in the hold and tosses Mysterio too the mat. Henry gets a bounce off the ropes before he hits a huge splash on Mysterio. Instead of covering him though, Henry picks him up and whips him into the corner. Henry gets a running start, but somehow the referee finds himself in the middle and takes the obligatory referee bump! Mysterio finds himself lying on the mat as well. Meanwhile, we see that Victor Venis has left the announce position and is coming towards the ring with a chair. Victor slides inside and blind sides Mark Henry with a stiff chair shot! Venis grabs Henry and places him on the second rope, right in place for a 6-1-9. Venis proceeds to walk up the ramp, before grabbing Francine by the hand and escorting her to the backstage area. Rey Mysterio comes to his senses and sees Henry lying on the second rope. Rey hits the 6-1-9 and than hits the West Coast Pop, as the referee is barely able to deliver the three count!

Rey Mysterio has his arm raised high in the air as the referee is holding his head. Mysterio is walking up the ramp, nursing his injuries while he realizes that he just qualified for the Royal Rumble! The camera pans on Mark Henry, who is angry that Victor Venis II attacked him two times in the last two weeks, this time forcing him out of the Royal Rumble? Why did Venis attack him this week? What will Mysterio’s reaction be when he realizes what REALLY happened? Will Mark Henry extract revenge? And what will be the fallout from Rey Mysterio’s one night (or more) return to Smackdown? Tune in to ECW on SciFi, Smackdown and next week’s RAW too find out.

Winner: Rey Mysterio

WWE 2007 - Certain Tragedy

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