The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[GCCWolverine]

Crap! Just missed again!

Oh well, awesome Judgement Day. Keep up the good work.

[tristy]

I'd pay to see Torrie dress up like a mourner. That's golden.

It's not my fault I suck at predictions.

[Guest y2gudge]

Bear in mind Dukes I haven't yet read Judgment Day because of my exams and the fact it is quite late but I wil endeavour to do so tomorrow...

What I've liked over the past few shows

- Chris Jericho's return and first match back. Brilliant write up for the both plus I feel you picked the right participants in Evolution & Sting

- Christian/Molly. You are doing well in a sore subject and picked the right person in Christian, the match against Benoit was also top notch

- Roddy Piper as GM. He cracks me up and him in power is wicked...

What I haven't liked over the past few shows

- Rhyno. He just seems way OTT and even though I like him as Champ I'm not liking the whole "fear me" angle

- 'Taker/Jones. I really can't get into it at all and just see you wasting SD! time with these two and their generic whores

- Six Man Tags/3-on-2. Seriously how many have we had in the last four shows and another two more at JD?!

Plus I was nice and answered your survey.

1. Is this card worth the $35 WWE would charge for it?

Barely, the workrate in the Main Event and the sheer expectations for the Ladder match pulls it up but RTC & 'Taker/Jones pulls it back down

2. What match would you most be looking forward to?

Guerrero/Lesnar/Angle

3. What match do you wish wasn't on the card?

Bull/Hurricane - make it an eight man tag; 'Taker & Torrie/Jones & Ward - meh

4. Who is underpushed on SmackDown!?

Shannon Moore & Bubba Rogers for some reason I just love, plus Hardy could easily fit into the ME scene

5. Who has gotten overpushed on SmackDown!?

Nathan Jones, Shannon Ward, Torrie Wilson, RTC (to a degree)

6. What independent signing should I look into making?

Steve Corino

7. What storyline has been the best written?

Raw - Jericho's return & Sting/Orton

SD! - Piper as GM

8. What storyline should be dropped without hesitation?

Raw - Teddy Long kidnapping Tracy Brooks and whatever shall follow

SD! - 'Taker & Torrie/Jones & Ward (if it already hasn't at JD)

*y2gudge*

[Ace]

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That'll learn me all right

I don't have net for 4 days and I almost won a prediction contest?

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Third Dukes]

WWE RAW

May 17, 2004

LIVE from San Diego, CA

We open with extensive footage of the main event of last week's show, as Christian and Chris Benoit go tooth and nail for the Intercontinental Title. The total mess of a finish is shown, as Molly swings for Christian and hits Benoit, allowing Christian to win the title and, by order of Eric Bischoff, forcing Molly to "be a Diva" -- whatever Christian means by that. The final image is of Christian and Chynna, his associate, mocking Molly, who stands in the aisle, staring at her hands -- the hands with which she sealed her own fate.

WE BORROWED SOME PYRO FROM SEA WORLD SO SHAMU COULD HAVE THE DAY OFF AND WE AIN'T AFRAID TO USE IT as we open our show and look out into the crowd. Sign: "Blandmaster Flash" (Orton) "and the Freaky Five Minus Two" (Bischoff/Batista/Shane).

JR: "On a night where there's something for everyone, the question on everyone's mind is: what does Christian have in mind as his reward for winning the Intercontinental Title? Welcome to RAW! I'm Jim Ross alongside Diamond Dallas Page, and DDP, on top of all this, we have a main event that's worth talking about!"

DDP: "That we do, Jimbo. It's the World Heavyweight Champion Rhyno going one-on-one with the man they call Sting! Can Sting grab his first gold in the WWE right here tonight?"

Intros begin for the first match.

JR: "But first, ladies and gentlemen, we'll find out if tonight we have RNN or the Highlight Reel, as Y2J Chris Jericho faces off against a man whose team he defeated last week in Randy Orton!"

DDP: "But if you remember that match, JR, you'd remember that it was Orton who left his team to tap out -- he personally was unbeaten!"

For control of a weekly interview segment: Chris Jericho (Highlight Reel) vs. Randy Orton (RNN)

Orton charges the ring and slugs it out with Jericho, but Jericho wins that and sends Orton into the ropes. Jericho nails Orton with a back body drop on the way out, then bounces off the ropes as Orton gets up. Jericho nails Orton with the face jam and looks for the Lionsault, but Orton rolls away and Jericho lands on his feet. Jericho backs Orton into the corner and chops away at him, doubling Orton over.

Jericho grabs the doubled-over Orton and lifts him up in a suplex. As Orton struggles to his feet, Jericho goes up top and tries a missile dropkick, but Orton sidesteps it and Jericho crashes on his bad leg. Orton stomps away on the leg, then picks it up behind his head in Stretch Muffler. Jericho bridges to keep Orton from applying full pressure, so Orton drops the hold in frustration.

Orton switches to a leglock, sitting down to help separate Jericho's leg from his body. Jericho falls back to alleve the pain, but is forced to sit up when the referee counts. Jericho reaches across and punches Orton, breaking the hold. Both men get up, and Orton hits a Russian legsweep on Jericho. He picks Jericho up and tries for a dragon screw, but Jericho reverses with an enzuigiri.

Jericho begins slugging away on Orton as Orton gets up, but Orton reverses the momentum with a single kick to the leg. Jericho staggers around in pain, so Orton grabs Jericho and hits Play of the Day. He covers for two. Orton picks Jericho's leg up and kicks the back of the knee, then turns Jericho over into a half-crab as we go to commercial.

***COMMERCIAL***

Jericho makes the ropes on the half-crab, but Orton waits until four to break. Orton drags Jericho back to the center of the ring and lifts him leg-first off the mat, driving Jericho's knee into the canvas. Orton then stands on Jericho's leg, doing a mock yawn as Jericho tries to free himself and the referee asks for a break. Jericho uses his other leg to knock Orton over in a modified drop toe-hold, then switches to a front chancery, trying to shake some feeling into his lower leg. Orton stands up, so Jericho tries a suplex, but his leg gives out and Orton falls on top for two.

Both men are up at once, and Orton clips Jericho. Orton picks Jericho's leg up, lets out a howl to the crowd in disdain, and turns Jericho over in the Scorpion. Jericho tries to power out of it, but Orton leans further back to intensify the pain. Jericho finally makes the ropes, and again, Orton waits until four to break. Orton drags Jericho back to the center of the ring, applying a figure-four this time. Jericho tries to fight out of it, but he can't do it. Jericho attempts to crabwalk to the ropes, but Orton pulls him back.

Jericho's arms give out, and he falls on his back for two. Jericho pops right back up and begins hitting Orton's legs, breaking the hold. Orton waits for Jericho to stand up and dives for the RKO, but Jericho shoves him to the mat. Jericho then runs to the ropes and tries the Lionsault, but falls woefully short and grabs his leg. Orton reaches for an Indian deathlock, but Jericho kicks him off. On the rebound, Jericho catches Orton with a kick to the gut, but it's from the bad leg so it has no effect.

Orton laughs at Jericho, who uses the pause in the action to clothesline Orton down. Jericho picks Orton's legs up and tries the Walls, but he can't pivot on his leg and Orton is able to fight it. Jericho then switches to a catapult, which unfortunately sends Orton into the referee.

Jericho rolls Orton up after the collision for nothing. Jericho goes to check on the official, but this allows Orton to hit the RKO. Orton also covers and gets nothing. Orton looks around, then heads outside, getting a chair from ringside. He slides into the ring and prepares to Pillmanize Jericho's leg. Orton bounces off the ropes for momentum...

...and runs straight into Sting, who levels him with a shot from the baseball bat. Orton flies back into the corner, so Sting gets a head of steam and Stinger Splashes Orton. Sting is clearly heard yelling "respect this" as he stands over Orton and proceeds to use his bat on a prone Orton's head, shoulders, and back. Of course, the ref chooses this time to wake up, and calls for the bell at 18:05.

WINNER by disqualification: Randy Orton

Sting, oblivious to the announcement, yells for Randy to stand up, then bashes his bat in Orton's gut. Sting ties Orton in the ropes and gets into a batter's stance. He winds up, but before he can connect...

Bischoff: "Don't you even think about it if you wanna work in this town again!"

Eric Bischoff has appeared on the entranceway, and boy does he look mad. The camera gets a view of Sting, who snarls at Bischoff, and Orton, who has the look of a death row inmate just after hearing the words, "Hello, Governor".

Bischoff: "Sting, you lay one more hand on the host of our interview segment -- yeah, that's right, you just got your buddy Y2J disqualified -- and I'll not only fire your ass, I'll have you arrested for assault with a deadly weapon! In fact, Sting, you're lucky you're working for me at all! You see, I've never forgiven you for what you did to me when I was on top of the world and my new order of things had Vince spiralling to rock bottom.

But look where I am now, Sting -- a Vince McMahon employee, and it's all because you wouldn't go along with my vision! So tonight, Stinger, I have a proposition for you. If Rhyno pins you or makes you submit tonight, then you will officially be suspended indefinitely from RAW! And if I have my way, I'll make sure that as long as you're here in the WWE, you don't set foot in a wrestling ring again. So Sting, you'd better hope you have a miracle, or for you, Showtime will be over!"

I'm Back plays over the PA system as Bischoff leaves, never once leaving behind his angry expression. Sting shakes his head in disbelief.

JR: "How about this, Page! The main event just got even bigger! It's Rhyno's title against... well, effectively, Sting's career!"

DDP: "And that's just one of a lot of things to look forward to tonight on RAW, Jim! Cuz Orton left me this note: 'In the event that I win tonight, I will have Christian and Molly Holly appear on RNN and on that show she will Be a Diva!' We're gonna find out, one way or the other!"

JR: "Certainly a mix of the good and bad tonight, Page! Don't go anywhere!"

DDP: "Wasn't gonna."

***COMMERCIAL***

We head backstage, where Trish Stratus is reading a magazine in the Divas' locker room. Victoria sits down next to her, prompting Trish to flinch.

Victoria: "Is something wrong?"

Trish: "You don't remember?"

Victoria: "Remember? Remember what?"

Trish: "Look, I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe you don't remember beating me up during -- and after -- our match last week."

Victoria: "But... but I'd never..."

Trish: "But you did."

Victoria: "I don't know... I couldn't do that! I wouldn't dare!"

Trish: "Yeah, whatever. Look, playing innocent may work with someone who hasn't been around the block as often as I have, but I find it rather insulting that you think I'll fall for your little miss innocent trick! Try it on someone else!"

Trish throws the magazine aside and storms off.

Victoria (meekly): "But I don't know..."

We go back to ringside.

JR: "Well, it looks like poor Victoria's in a bad way right now, Page -- everything she does just makes her enemies, and... I don't know what's up with her, or who she thinks she's fooling!"

DDP: "Hey, it's entirely possible she's just throwing things to the wall and seeing what works around here. She's been bouncing around for some time, she wants to start over until she's comfortable -- it's her choice! Now, it doesn't mean people have to play along, of course."

JR: "And we're seeing that right here. Folks, our next match is going to see that man, Johnny Jeter, who is so far unbeaten in singles competition, against the other half of the World Tag Team Champions, Tommy Dreamer! Remember last week, it was Jeter pinning Nick Mondo one-on-one!"

DDP: "Yeah, but Mondo fell for a distraction! I'm sure Dreamer won't do the same thing!"

Johnny Jeter (w/Jackie Gayda) vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Stacy Keibler)

They lock up. Jeter backs Dreamer into a corner and goes for a chop, but Dreamer reverses it and punches away at Jeter. He sends Jeter into the opposite turnbuckle, charging in but missing when Jeter moves aside. Jeter rolls Dreamer up for two. Jeter grabs a headlock on Dreamer and looks to Jackie for advice, but Dreamer grabs a back suplex on Jeter during the distraction.

Dreamer stomps away at Jeter, then picks him up for a DDT. Jeter wiggles out of it and gets a low blow on Dreamer, following up with a suplex for two. Jeter picks Dreamer up and delivers an inverted atomic drop to Dreamer, then lariats him down. Jeter goes to the top rope and waits for Dreamer to get up, but Dreamer ducks the flying spinkick.

Dreamer sends Jeter into the ropes after punching him a few times, and on the way out Jeter gets booted in the gut and given a DDT. Dreamer covers for two. Dreamer signals for the Dreamer Driver, but as he does, Jackie jumps on the apron.

Stacy tries to pull Jackie off, and as the referee examines the scuffle, a new wrestler runs in from the back and enters the ring. He pulls Jeter out of the Dreamer Driver, then joins with Jeter in giving Dreamer a front-and-back spinkick. Jeter covers as his ally runs out of the ring, and the referee turns around to count three at 5:40.

WINNER: Johnny Jeter

We cut almost immediately backstage, to where Trish Stratus and a surprised Alexis Laree are watching on a monitor.

Trish: "Something wrong?"

Alexis: "I... I know that guy!"

Trish: "You do?"

Alexis: "Yeah -- his name's Joey Matthews. We worked the same minor leagues back in the day."

Trish: "Really. Is he any good?"

Alexis: "He's okay, but the guy always seems to get a swell head around me. Maybe it's something about me, I dunno..."

Trish: "Well, forget about it. Don't let it bother ya. C'mon, let's go hit the bar. I got nothing better to do."

Alexis: "Well, I have a match later tonight with Victoria..."

Trish: "Please, girl, you don't wanna team with her. She's a nutcase! You're much better off letting her fend for herself. I don't trust her right now."

Alexis: "You sure?"

Trish: "Yeah. C'mon."

They head off.

DDP: "Oh dear."

***COMMERCIAL***

JR: "Welcome back, folks, and... well, earlier tonight, Sting made his presence felt against Randy Orton, but found out that his title shot was going to carry a lot more weight that he had planned."

Bischoff: "...So tonight, Stinger, I have a proposition for you.  If Rhyno pins you or makes you submit tonight, then you will officially be suspended indefinitely from RAW!  And if I have my way, I'll make sure that as long as you're here in the WWE, you don't set foot in a wrestling ring again.  So Sting, you'd better hope you have a miracle, or for you, Showtime will be over!"

Before JR can get to introducing this match, the countdown hits and Chris Jericho emerges again. He takes a seat with JR and DDP.

DDP: "Well, well, well, welcome to the announcers' booth. I see you're here for our next match. Plan on any scouting?"

Jericho: "First off, the pleasure is all yours, Page. Secondly, I'm here to make sure that that pint-sized freak Rhyno doesn't end the career of a man I grew up idolizing in Sting!"

JR: "Oh, really? You're here to help Sting."

Jericho: "Yeah, I know that's a shock seeing as how I lost the Highlight Reel and all, but the guy saved my leg from harm, and really, I'd hate to see someone like Wino here end his career."

DDP: "You're not a fan of the champ?"

Jericho: "The guy's full of himself. All this 'FEAR ME' garbage -- what does he think he is, an internet hacker?"

Rhyno walks by on the way to the ring and exchanges words with Jericho.

JR: "Easy now, Chris... you don't want to get Sting disqualified."

Jericho: "Yeah, you're right... no telling what Bitch-off might do."

World Heavyweight title vs. Active career: Rhyno (title) vs. Sting (career)

Rhyno tells Sting to come to him, but Sting refuses. Rhyno tries to charge Sting, but Sting dodges and Rhyno hits the turnbuckle. Sting pummels Rhyno, sending him across the ring and getting a suplex on the way out. Rhyno charges, but Sting catches him with a shoulderblock. He bounces off the ropes and hits an elbowdrop on Rhyno.

Rhyno quickly bails to the outside, coaxing Sting to follow. Sting slides out after Rhyno, only to be caught with a sucker punch. Rhyno tosses Sting into the steps on the outside and rolls back in the ring to break the count. Rhyno quickly returns to the outside and slams Sting's head into the ringpost. He clears the Spanish announcers' table of its equipment, but when he turns around, Sting is up and slamming his head into the vacant table.

Sting rolls Rhyno back into the ring, punching away and scoring a clothesline. He sends Rhyno into the turnbuckle, but when he sails in with the Stinger Splash, Rhyno ducks and shoves Sting over the top to the floor. Rhyno picks Sting up in a military press position and drops him headfirst onto the guardrail. Sting slowly gets up, bleeding from the mouth, as Rhyno rolls him back into the ring.

Rhyno sends Sting into the ropes and catches him with a powerslam coming out. He hooks the leg, but it only gets two. Rhyno stomps on Sting's back and applies a camel clutch as we go to a commercial break.

***COMMERCIAL***

Sting is inches away from the ropes, but Rhyno attempts to pull him back. In doing so, though, he loses his grip on Sting and has to re-apply the hold. Sting again struggles to the ropes as Rhyno leans back with all his might. Eventually, Sting grabs the middle rope, but Rhyno refuses to let go.

Sting uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet, then falls backwards, putting Rhyno on his back in a pinning predicament. The referee counts two before Rhyno releases the hold and kicks out. Rhyno picks Sting up by the hair and sets him up for a powerbomb. Sting trips Rhyno up and grabs his legs for the Scorpion, but Rhyno quickly wiggles to the ropes. Rhyno gets up and tries to attack Sting with forearms, but Sting fires back and a slugfest erupts.

Sting wins with a series of right hands, then sends Rhyno into the corner and Stinger Splashes him. As Rhyno staggers out, Sting gives him a back body drop, but on the way over, Rhyno nicks the referee, who is forced to go to a corner and wait for his eye to clear. Sting, oblivious to this, ties Rhyno up in the Scorpion. Rhyno taps, but the ref is out of position.

Sting releases the hold and checks on the referee. As he does so, Rhyno gets up. Sting turns around just in time to get a GORE from Rhyno. Rhyno covers, but picks Sting up at two. He is distinctly heard saying "from Eric" as he sends Sting into the ropes and bounces off for a second GORE. However, Sting drops down, and Rhyno takes out the referee.

Rhyno turns around and picks Sting up. Rhyno hoists Sting over his head in a gorilla press and drops him flat in the center of the ring. He smiles and heads to the outside, where he grabs a chair. He goes to swing it, but Chris Jericho (who has jumped in the ring from the booth) grabs the chair away. While Rhyno and Jericho argue, two things happen: a second referee heads to the ring, and Sting wakes up enough to roll Rhyno up. The second referee counts, and improbably, Sting gets the three at 15:20!

WINNER and NEW World Heavyweigh... oh, hang on...

The first ref, who by now is pulling himself up, is explaining something to the second referee. Sting, who was celebrating with the title, turns around and sees the two referees conferencing. He immediately rolls his eyes in anticipation of the inevitable.

Lillian Garcia: "Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Prior to the winning fall being registered, there was the intended use of a foreign object in the ring, which is immediate grounds for disqualification. Therefore, while your winner is Sting, STILL the World Heavyweight Champion... Rhyno!"

Sting frustratedly hands the belt back to Rhyno, who snatches it forcefully. Sting goes to leave, but Rhyno slams the title belt in the back of Sting's head. Rhyno stomps away on Sting, but Jericho pulls Rhyno off. Jericho begins slugging away with Rhyno as both referees and about a dozen other people are needed to keep the two apart. Even then, as Rhyno is escorted from the ring, Jericho escapes the group holding him back and dives onto Rhyno and his security force with a tope suicida. The two continue trading punches as the officials continue trying to pull them apart.

JR: "Bah gawd, it's chaos out here! Y2J and the Man Beast are beating the hell out of each other!"

DDP: "Jericho was just trying to repay the favor! What's the big deal here?"

JR: "We gotta go to break -- we hope this is settled by then!"

***COMMERCIAL***

JR: "Folks, this has been a wild night so far, and Page, I think it's about to get wilder. Up next is the women's tag match we were told about earlier tonight, and... well, I don't know how it's going to work!"

DDP: "That's right, Jim. It was supposed to be Jazz and Gail Kim -- who you see accompanied by Theodore Long right now -- going up against Victoria and Alexis Laree. But as you saw, Trish talked ol' Lexi into calling it a night, so I don't know what Victoria's going to resort to here."

tATu plays over the speakers as Victoria walks out, high-fiving fans and having a good time. She makes her circuit around the ring, stopping just in front of the timekeeper. She sees someone in the crowd and beckons the person to come forward. We see that it's the same fan who has been involved with Jazz.

Victoria: "Hey, girl... what's your name?"

Fan: "Tracy."

Victoria: "Tracy -- what a lovely name. Tell me, you seem to have been having your problems lately with these two. You want to do something about it?"

Tracy: "You'd better believe it."

Victoria: "Wonderful! Let's go!"

Jazz and Gail Kim vs. Victoria and Tracy

Jazz attacks Victoria as she slides in, but Gail is chopped around by Tracy. Tracy sends Gail into the ropes and hits a rana on the way out, while Victoria confounds Jazz by outgrappling her. Eventually, Tracy is sent to the corner, which allows Gail a chance to kick Victoria in the back of the head on the way out. Jazz picks the aching Victoria up and gives her a suplex, floating over on the cover. It gets two.

Jazz grabs Victoria's arms and lifts her in a double chickenwing, but Victoria unhooks her legs and kicks away at Jazz's, causing Jazz to drop her. Jazz grabs Victoria by the hair before she can tag, and Gail comes in. Gail walks the ropes and hits Victoria with a crossbody. She covers for two. Jazz comes back in, and she hooks Victoria up for the Jazz Stinger. Victoria slips out, landing on her feet, and races past a surprised Jazz to tag in Tracy.

Tracy vaults over the top rope with a satellite headscissors on Jazz. Gail runs in and is immediately chopped down by Tracy. Jazz charges from behind, but Tracy ducks and Jazz and Gail collide. Jazz falls out of the ring, while Gail looks around in confusion for Tracy, who by now has headed to the top rope. She dives off and lands on Gail in a move she usually calls Pie in the Sky (but which JR calls... well, don't ask). The referee counts, and that's the three at 5:32.

WINNERS: Victoria and Tracy

JR: "What a great win for this young fan, Tracy! This has to rank as one of the biggest upsets ever!"

DDP: "Upset, nothing, Jim! I saw her talking to Trish Stratus earlier tonight -- she's a legitimate wrestler! Apparently she and Trish went to the same wrestling school! This was all a plan!"

JR: "What do you mean by that?"

DDP: "Well, Trish talks Alexis Laree out of the match, and Victoria brings Trish's friend in as a substitute! I dunno if Victoria knew, but... Trish may be smarter than we give her credit for!"

JR: "That's entirely possible. Folks, earlier today Shawn Michaels made the following comments from his home in San Antonio, Texas, where he is convalescing."

We go to the videotape.

HBK: "Surprise, Kane. I bet you thought you'd destroyed me. I bet you thought your little sneak attack had taken me out. And ya know what -- for a time I thought that too. I remember nothing from the time I was about four feet in the air, upside down, ready to crash to the mat... to the time I woke up in the hospital, being checked for X-rays. The doctors say I shouldn't be walking -- that it's a miracle I could be released the next day. But I knew all along that Someone was watching over me. Are they watching you, Kane?

You see... I believe your attack was a signal. I see you not as a monster, Kane, but as a man in need of true guidance. Kane, don't think I'm going easy on you. This is going to be tough love. You are a man possessed. And on June 13, in Columbus, Ohio, I will exorcise your demon right there in that ring. You and me, Kane -- no sneak attacks, no stretchers, no backstabbing. Just good versus evil. May the Best Being win."

***COMMERCIAL***

Intros begin for the next match as the announcers talk.

JR: "Well, Page, it's official. We have our first match for Badd Blood in four weeks. It's going to be Shawn Michaels, the HeartBreak Kid, going one-on-one against Kane, and... I don't know, Page, didn't it sound like Shawn was making this a kind of crusade?"

DDP: "That's exactly what he's doing, Jim. He's making the match bigger than himself. He wants this to be a sort of... almost a redemption, like he's trying to overcome this challenge and be a... you know, I don't know the right word, but you get the feeling he's trying to bring Kane out of his monster mode and into the light?"

JR: "Well, good luck doing it, because I know for a fact that it's almost impossible. That Kane is an unholy human being. Folks, we're just about set for more tag team action, as we have Scott Hall and Booker T going up against Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack, and this match came about in a very interesting way."

Booker: "Hey Scott!  You got a problem with dat Nowinski, right?"

Hall: "Yeah man... he can't see the past is past.  I don't get it."

Booker: "Well listen.  I gots me a problem with Teddy Long.  He and his group are runnin' round bein' a disservice to my race, sucka.  They playin' to the lowest o' the low.  An' I say we go at 'em tonight and teach 'em a thing or two.  You up for that, dawg?"

Hall: "Survey says: hell yeah."

Booker: "All right, let's do it."

JR: "And so, Page, we have this match. And I'm certain Theodore Long and his charges are none too happy with Booker T's assessment."

DDP: "Well, Jim, if they ain't happy, here's their chance to do somethin' about it."

Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack (w/Theodore Long) vs. Scott Hall and Booker T

Booker and Mack start. Booker doesn't lock up, instead punching away on Mack right from the get-go. He backs Mack into the ropes and unloads with a huge chop. Mack is doubled over, so Booker picks him up with a spinebuster. He bounces off the ropes and lands the tiptoe kneedrop on Mack. Booker covers, but only gets two.

Booker picks Mack up and sends him into the ropes, running him over with a clothesline on the way out. Booker goes to the top, but his attempt at the Houston Hangover misses. Mack brings in Nowinski, and Booker is immediately side-slammed. Nowinski covers for two. Nowinski gets a pair of European uppercuts on Booker, backing him into the ropes. Nowinski sends Booker for the ride, and on the rebound hits Booker with a hiptoss.

Booker gets up, so Nowinski dropkicks him back down. Nowinski covers for two. Nowinski stomps away on Booker, then picks him up and slams him. He covers again, again getting two. Nowinski brings Mack back in, and as he does, Nowinski lays Booker across his knee. Mack leaps off the top rope with an elbowdrop and covers Booker. It gets two.

Mack stands up behind Booker and prepares for the Blackout, but as he hooks it, Booker goes full speed reverse and slams Mack into the turnbuckle. Both men are down, but Mack is up first. Mack tries to grab Booker, but Booker reverses it to the Book End. Both men make the tag. Hall comes in and peppers Nowinski with right hands, finishing him off with a left uppercut. Mack re-enters the ring and gets sent down with a right.

Hall picks Nowinski up and whips him into the corner, following with a clothesline. Hall goes to the second rope and dives off, giving Nowinski a bulldog. Hall covers, but Mack saves. Booker comes in and takes care of Mack, clotheslining him out of the ring and pounding on him on the outside. Back in the ring, Hall gets the fallaway slam on Nowinski. He signals for the Edge, but Theodore Long hops up onto the apron.

Hall brings Long in the hard way and sets HIM up for the Edge, but the referee stops it and helps Long to the outside. The distraction allows Nowinski to take Long's cane and shatter it over Hall. Nowinski covers, and the ref ignores the debris and counts the three at 9:29.

WINNERS: Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack

JR: "And how can they be proud of themselves for that finish? How can they take pride in that victory? These men -- they don't care about anything but getting attention!"

DDP: "I know, and their antics last week proved it! Now they do this! One of these days, someone's going to show these young upstarts that Theodore Long is poisoning their minds, and I gotta wonder if Hall and Booker and company are the guys to do it!"

JR: "Folks, when we come back, Randy Orton will be providing us with the three words we've come to dread over the past few weeks... Be a Diva. What will he have poor Molly do?"

***COMMERCIAL***

We return with the RNN set almost nonexistent. The only things in the ring are three chairs and the OrTron 5050. Oh, and Randy Orton.

JR: "I don't wanna talk about this. This is sickening. Damn you, Eric Bischoff, for forcing this poor woman to..."

Orton: "Welcome, everyone, to the one and only show worthy of being part of the RAW experience, RNN! You will notice today that there's a very sparse look. Well, that's because we have a very special moment for you. You see, I wish to introduce my two guests at this time. First, the man who last week became the NEW Intercontinental Champion -- ladies and gentlemen, give a warm San Diego welcome to your hero and mine, Christian!"

"At Last" plays as Christian walks to the ring alone. He has the Intercontinental Title around his waist, and he smiles and dances to the ring. He enters and shakes hands with Orton.

Orton: "Welcome, Christian, and may I be the first to say on live TV... Congratulations."

Christian: "Why, thank you, Randy. It is a momentous honor for me to be here representing every single one of my Peeps as the new Intercontinental Champion!"

Orton: "Ah, but your victory was worth more than that. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the woman who was responsible for this man right here being the Intercontinental Champion. Roll the footage!"

Footage plays on the TV screens of the finish to the I-C title match.

Orton: "Please welcome the woman who tonight will show you the true meaning of Diva, Molly Holly!"

"She's a Lady" plays as Molly walks in from the back, with a look like she's facing an execution. The crowd cheers her as she heads to the ring. Molly steps under the bottom rope and tries to sit in the final chair, but Christian places the belt there and refuses to let her sit down.

Orton: "Molly, I'm not going to say any more than what has already been said. You lost the stipulation. It's time for you to Be a Diva."

Molly slowly shakes her head. Christian stands up and grabs the microphone.

Christian: "What do you mean, no? You've spent all week thinking of nothing but this! Hell, I'm sure you want to do this!"

Molly mouths the word "no" as she backs away.

Christian: "No? But Molly, you threw the match! Chris Benoit didn't lose the title -- you lost it FOR him. This is all your fault. And when it's done, and you're sitting in the back, you'll realize you have only yourself to blame for what's about to happen to you."

The crowd chants "Asshole".

Christian: "No, no -- shut up! This is none of your business! She brought this on herself! Every week, you see her playing around with the big boys, acting like she owns the world -- have you LOOKED at her recently? Look at her now!"

Christian steps closer to Molly, who cowers in fear, as if anticipating a slap.

Christian: "Look at how tiny you are! At least when my Doll took part, she was bigger than half the men! You're smaller than half the Divas! Well... shorter, anyway. You're probably bigger nonetheless."

Christian adds a fake laugh.

Christian: "But that's not important. What's important is that we had rules, and you are damn sure going to abide by those rules. In fact, I brought a little friend out who I know would love to see your performance. Eric Bischoff, come on down!"

"I'm Back" plays over the PA system as Eric Bischoff walks to the ring. He takes his seat right where the title belt was and kicks back to enjoy what is about to happen.

Christian: "Now, Molly -- the rest is up to you. You know what you have to do. And you'd damn better believe that if you don't go through with it, Eric Bischoff is going to fire you for breach of contract -- and you think someone like Piper would want you? For that matter, you think there's a place for you outside of the WWE? I've been all around the world -- women's wrestling is garbage! This is the only place that even stomachs it! So, Molly, if you want to keep your job, you know exactly what to do."

Molly looks timidly to the entrance, as if expecting Benoit or anyone to stop this. Seeing no one, she sighs and begins to do an awkward dance. Five seconds in, Christian stops her.

Christian: "Wait, wait, wait! Is that the best you can do? You're pathetic! Maybe you should stick to wrestling -- it's painfully obvious you'd never make it on Broadway!"

Christian has the "I just got an idea" face.

Christian: "Oh, hang on, that's right -- I know what I've forgotten! Hold on one second!"

Christian slips out of the ring and looks under it. He pulls out a long pole on a stand. He returns to the ring and sets the pole up in the center of the ring. He sits back down.

Christian: "Yes! That's the final piece of the puzzle. Wouldn't you agree this is better, Eric?"

Bischoff: "Ah, it's just like old times down in Atlanta!"

Christian: "All right, Molly -- we've set up the stage. The rest is up to you."

Molly nervously approaches the pole, touching it with her fingers. She takes one more step toward it, grabbing it lightly with her hands. Before she can begin, Orton speaks up again.

Orton: "Wait a second. Christian -- she's not ready for this."

Christian: "Why not, Randy? She has the pole. She has the audience. What more does a Diva need to be able to perform her art?"

Orton: "I know."

Orton reaches behind the OrTron and pulls out some paper money. The camera cannot tell the denomination, but it doesn't matter. Orton approaches Molly and promptly stuffs the bill into the waistline of her pants. Bischoff and Christian, upon seeing this, reach into their wallets and pull out money as well, approaching Molly and doing the same. Molly sits down, wrapped around the pole, with tears streaming from her eyes.

Christian: "What's the matter, Molly? Are we degrading you? Are we making you feel inhuman? GOOD! That's what Divas are! That's what women are in wrestling! They're not meant to go in men's matches! They're not supposed to show wrestling talent! And they damn sure aren't meant to be going for MY Intercontinental Title! Hell, look at Chynna! She's the most qualified woman there is, and even she knows the secret to being a woman in the WWE is to flash a lot of skin! So come on, Molly! Stop crying! Be a real woman! Be a Diva! Show us what you got! Stand up and show us what you got!"

Molly slowly looks back to the entranceway.

Christian: "And stop looking that way! You act like your savior is right there! Well, news flash, Molly! Bischoff calls the shots, and he isn't letting it go! You are going to be a Diva! You are going to learn your place! And right now, there is absolutely no one who save you! You've got no choice, Molly! Do the right thing!"

Molly continues crying as Christian bends over her, becoming more and more angry and insistent in his face. Molly buries her face in her hands, hoping to make the entire scene go away. Suddenly...

"IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL"

JR: "WAIT A MINUTE! IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS SOMEONE COMING FOR HER!"

Indeed, the Rock emerges from backstage as Christian looks irate, Orton looks confused, and Bischoff looks like he's about to have an accident on himself. The Rock walks to the ring, holding his hand up as he poses on the turnbuckle. He enters the ring and takes a microphone from someone.

Rock: "Molly... dear, sweet Molly... don't let these fools tell you what you're supposed to do. They can't control you. They don't own you. They know nothing about you. Look at the Rock, Molly."

Molly looks up, tears on her cheeks.

Rock: "Don't let them say that you have to be a certain way. Don't let these jabronies tell you how you have to behave to get acceptance. Listen to the Rock for a second..."

Rock reaches out a hand to Molly and pulls her up. He takes her in his arms and stares into her eyes.

Rock (singing):

"Don't go changin'

To try to please me

You've never let me down before

mmmmmm

Don't imagine

You're too familiar

And I don't see you anymore.

I would not leave you

In times of trouble

We never could have come this far

mmmmmm

I took the good times

I'll take the bad times

I'll take you Just the Way You Are...."

Molly gives Rock a big hug as the crowd chants "Rocky". Bischoff looks on, perturbed.

Bischoff: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rock, this is all nice, but you can't just walk in here and take over. There were stipulations to the match and she has to honor them. Now leave MY ring before I'm forced to throw you out, so that Molly can have her reward."

Rock: "Excuse me? Did you just say this was your ring? Did you just say that Molly HAS to honor these stipulations? Did the Rock hear you correctly?"

Bischoff: "You know damn well--"

Rock: "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAID!"

Bischoff shows offense.

Rock: "You see, Eric Bischoff, you can come out here with your sick perverted taste, and Christian can come out here and act like a creepy bastard, and Randy Orton can come out and act like he's the host with the most, but it doesn't change the fact that this is, above all else, the People's Show, and that makes this the Rock's Show... wait, that reminds the Rock... excuse the Rock one second..."

Rock steps aside and grabs a bottle of water he brought with him. He takes a swig of the water, gargles, and spits it out into the aisleway. He then takes a few deep breaths.

Orton: "Look, do you have some--"

Rock holds his hand up. He continues taking deep breaths. After three more, he brings the mic to his mouth.

Rock: "FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO SAN DIEGO! And Christian, Randy Orton, and especially you, Eric Bischoff, listen to what the Rock has to say. You talk about how this is your show, Bischoff, and for the most part, it is. But you seem to forget the most fundamental thing about the Rock, the most essential thing about the Rock, and that is that the Rock is a member of the prestigious Board of Governors, and that means above all else - the Rock outranks you."

Christian and Orton get huge "uh-oh" looks on their faces, while Bischoff stares at Rock.

Bischoff: "And how will you enforce it against a third-degree black-belt like me?"

Rock: "Third degree black belt? What did you get your black belt in, strudel-fu?"

Molly is now laughing as she wipes her eyes.

Rock: "Molly, the Rock says this: the Rock doesn't want you to do a damn thing that would be insulting. The Rock doesn't want you to humiliate yourself. And furthermore, the Rock believes you are one of the greatest people on earth, because you've been through hell, and you have survived. And for that, the Rock admires you, and the Rock would do anything to protect you. And so, Molly, consider this a People's Pardon. The Rock hereby absolves you from having to do anything for this creepy bastard Christian over here from now until the end of eternity or until Christian loses his V-card, whichever comes first!"

The crowd cheers loudly for this announcement.

Rock: "Oh, but the Rock is not finished with the punishment, no no no no, no. You see, Molly, the one thing you should have had at WrestleMania, and the one thing you should've had countless times afterwards, is a win over that creepy bastard Christian for the Intercontinental Title. Therefore, the Rock says..."

Rock pauses as a hockey-like "Creepy Bastard" chant begins.

Rock: "The Rock says this: June 13, at Badd Blood, it will be Christian one-on-one, defending the Intercontinental Title, against Molly Holly, and this time, there will be no trouble -- there will be no cop-outs -- and the Rock will make damn sure of it even if he has to personally whip Chynna Doll's candy ass all up and down the United States of America!"

The crowd cheers the title announcement. Christian merely laughs -- but it seems like a nervous laugh. Orton confronts the Rock.

Orton: "All right, all right, you've had your little ego trip. Now will you let me have my show back?"

Rock: "YOUR show? Who do you think you are -- the Rock?"

Orton: "I'm better than you'll ever be. You're a one-time star who hasn't been a factor in ages! You're a movie star who moonlights as a wrestler! You mean nothing to this sport anymore! YOU WERE, Rock! Now leave before I prove to you that I AM!"

Rock: "You are what? You are the biggest, loudest, most hideously obnoxious piece of monkey crap the Rock has ever seen!"

With that, Christian attacks Rock from behind. As Molly looks on and Bischoff cheers on, Christian and Orton double-team Rock. However, Sting comes racing down the aisle, bat in hand, and begins to pull Orton away. Sting chases Orton to the back while Rock begins to lay the smack down on Christian. Molly begins to walk behind a concerned Bischoff, and as Christian rolls to the outside, Molly kneels down and uppercuts a surprised Bischoff between the legs.

Bischoff slumps to the ground as Christian returns, this time with his I-C title belt. He swings at Molly and misses. Molly takes the hint and begins to run to the outside, with Christian giving chase. Molly runs around one corner of the ring by the announce tables, and when Christian follows, he runs straight into a Rock Bottom on the floor.

Rock sees the cleared Spanish announce table and gets an idea. He points to Molly, then to the top rope. After doing this, he rolls Christian onto the Spanish announcers' table. Molly stands on the nearby top rope, then pulls the paper money out of her pants. She tears each bill into shreds, then dives off from the top rope to the Spanish announcers' table with an elbowdrop. She lands the elbow right square on Christian, and the two crash through the table on the outside. Rock helps Molly up as his music plays. The two return to the ring. Rock bends down and puts Molly on his shoulders as they walk around the ring.

JR: "WHAT A WAY TO END RAW TONIGHT! MOLLY HOLLY WAS NOT HUMILIATED! THE ROCK CAME TO SAVE THE DAY! CHRISTIAN GOT WHAT HE DESERVED! IT'S GONNA BE MOLLY AND CHRISTIAN AT BADD BLOOD! WILL THAT CREEPY BASTARD GET WHAT HE DESERVES! THANK YOU ROCK! THANK YOU SO DAMN MUCH!"

<<<FIN>>>

*****

I'm well aware I lifted the final segment from real life with a few changes. But hey, if you can't do better, why not? Anyway, I hope this segment delivered as it should have. Actually, the last bit was two EWR segments, which scored 90 and 98. Lemme know if I hit those milestones. Oh, and Rock goes up to 100 overness again for his participation in this segment.

See you soon.

Dukes

[nabeel]

I just read the last few shows after a big gap and i loved them. I like the way you write your angles. Plus, that Molly/Christain/Rock thing was great

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for May 17 / 04.

- Live from San Diego, CA.

- Your hosts are JR and DDP.

- Opening match: Chris Jericho v. Randy Orton. Winner gets control of the interview segment, which I assume is just a way of settling this before Jericho moves on to better things. Orton jumps the gun but gets beaten up as Jericho goes nuts to start, hitting the facejam. Suplex by Jericho, but he misses a dropkick and crashes on the bad leg. Orton with Stretch Muffler, then a standard leglock. Jericho breaks by punching Orton down. Orton with a Russian legsweep, then he tries a dragon screw, which thankfully is just a setup for Jericho to paste him with an enzuigiri. If Orton had actually TRIED the screw, I'm sure Jericho would be right back on the shelf. Jericho slugs away, but Orton goes back to the leg to stop him. Play of the Day gets two. To the half-crab as we take a break. Jericho makes the ropes as we come back, so Orton breaks and slams Jericho's leg down. This is Psychology 101 here -- someone must have shown Orton a Cliff's Notes on How to Be a Wrestler. Orton then goes total rudo by standing on Jericho's injured leg and YAWNING at him. Damn, Orton is feeling it tonight. Jericho knocks him off and tries a facelock as he attempts to regain feeling in his leg. Jericho's leg gives out on a suplex, and Orton gets two. Orton clips down Jericho and applies a Sharpshooter (howling to mock Sting). Jericho makes the ropes after a long struggle. Orton simply switches to a figure-four. Orton must be blown up if he needs to resort to holds like this for this match. Orton gets a two-count before Jericho punches legs at random to break. RKO misses, Lionsault misses, Indian deathlock is blocked, and Orton no-sells a kick from the bad leg. Now, see, if Jericho had trained in ALL Japan and not NEW Japan, that kick would've gotten a two-count. Orton mocks Jericho and gets a clothesline for it. Jericho tries the Walls, but can't turn Orton over. And why? Because he would have to stand on his bad leg to do it. I don't understand why Jericho couldn't just turn him the other way, though. Force of habit? Anyway, Jericho improvises and catapults Orton, who bumps the ref on the way by. Jericho covers for nothing. RKO by Orton gets nothing. Orton sees this and decides to try to destroy Jericho's leg with a chair, but Sting enters the ring and beats the high holy hell out of Orton for the eventual DQ at 18:05. Not a fan of the finish, but man, a motivated Orton is scary to see out there. **3/4 Sting basically threatens to kill Orton with the baseball bat before Eric Bischoff interrupts. He could fire Sting, but instead he'll make him put his career on the line against Rhyno in the World Title match later tonight. Well, they already had one stip match end in a DQ, might as well try again.

- Meanwhile, Trish doesn't trust Victoria, who's gone back to being the nice girl. Geez, make up your mind, booking team. I know it's the women's division, but we are paying SOME attention to it...

- Johnny Jeter v. Tommy Dreamer. Points for effort, but I don't see Jeter getting over in this storyline. They fight in the corner, and Dreamer wins that. Blind charge misses, and Jeter grabs a headlock and asks Jackie what to do now. There's a winning strategy -- ask JACKIE GAYDA what to do in a wrestling match. Might as well ask Vince Russo what to do with a World Title feud. Dreamer with a backdrop during this meeting of the minds. DDT is blocked, and Jeter gets a suplex for two. Inverted atomic drop sets up a lariat, but the Super Spin Kick misses. DDT by Dreamer, but Jackie causes a kerfuffle on the outside as Dreamer tries the Death Valley Driver. Joey Matthews runs in and saves Jeter, and a double-team gives Jeter the win at 5:40. Whatever. *

- Backstage, Alexis Laree introduces Joey to the audience by noting they ran in the same circles back in the day. Trish talks Alexis out of being a part of the tag match later in the evening, leaving Victoria without a partner as revenge for last week.

- World Title v. Career: Rhyno v. Sting. Chris Jericho is on commentary and talks trash with Rhyno on the way to the ring. Well, at least he isn't throwing coffee on him. Seriously, this is a feud pretty much out of nowhere. Sting refuses Rhyno's request to go full-on, so Rhyno charges in and gets beaten on with some basic old-school offense. Rhyno bails, then tricks Sting into following him. Into the STEEL steps goes Sting, then the STEEL ringpost. Rhyno beings clearing the STEEL... oh, sorry, it's just a wooden... announce table, allowing Sting to make the comeback. Back in, Sting takes over, but a Stinger Splash causes him to fly over Rhyno and to the floor. Ouch. Rhyno drops Sting onto the STEEL guardrail, causing Sting to bleed from the mouth. Dude, it's just a razor blade. Back in, powerslam gets two. Camel clutch as we go to break, and coming out, Rhyno pulls Sting away from the ropes and slaps it back on. Sting gets to the ropes and pulls himself up, dropping back onto Rhyno for two in a variant of the Bret-Piper counter. Rhyno tries a powerbomb, but Sting reverses and tries the Scorpion, but Rhyno hightails it to the ropes. A slugfest breaks out, won by Sting. Stinger Splash hits for real this time, and a BAAAAAAAACK body drop, but Rhyno catches the eye of the referee by mistake. Sting and Rhyno improvise by doing the "heel is tappng out but the ref doesn't see it" spot. Sting goes to help the ref, but turns around into a GOAR GOAR GOAR from Rhyno. Rhyno picks Sting up at two, and you just KNOW that'll bite him in the ass. Rhyno goes for a second GOAR GOAR GOAR (with Uncle Eric's blessing, he says), but Sting avoids it and the ref is absolutely wiped out. Too bad about that first accidental ref bump, because two in one match looks kinda bad. Gorilla press by Rhyno, and he grabs a chair from ringside. This time, though, Jericho saves Sting (repaying the favor, so I'll save my bitching about how they repeated the spot twice in one show) and yanks the chair away. Sting rolls up a distracted Rhyno for the pin (counted by a second ref) and the title at 15:20. Well, that took a lot of balls to switch the title to... oh, wait, there's two referees in the ring, and they're holding a conference. Even Sting (the character) knows what's happening, as the first ref DQ's Rhyno for beating up an official. Well, you know that Sting isn't ready to be champ, and they need to save him for the match against Orton, so clearly a DQ finish was in order. Still, it's the second non-finish in a stip match of the night, and with the "Be a Diva" looming in the future, they're either going to go 3 for 3 or make Molly go through with it, neither of which is too appealing. Plus it's a Dusty Finish -- although Sting recognizing it was a funny touch. Still, these two had a bizarre sort of chemistry, and Rhyno can only be helped by beating up a name like Sting. *3/4 Jericho and Rhyno do a HUGE pull-apart, complete with Jericho diving onto about 10 security guys, as the crowd goes nuts.

- Jazz & Gail Kim v. Victoria & Tracy (Brooks). Victoria pulls Tracy out of the crowd and nominates her. Two things here: one, Tracy was being abducted by the Cast of Rent last week and now she's loose -- chalk it up to complaints by the PC brigade in the wake of the Abu Gharib stuff, I guess; two, Victoria recognizes Tracy, but can't remember beating up Trish earlier in the show. Geez, they can't even do an amnesia angle right. Tracy opens up on Gail to start as Victoria uses old-fashioned rasslin to one-up Jazz. Oh, great, THIS again. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND, WWE! Gail gets in a cheapshot on Victoria, making her poorly-written-character-in-peril. Jazz gets a suplex for two. Double chickenwing, but Victoria squirms out. Gail with the ropewalk and crossbody for two. Victoria avoids the Jazz Stinger, hot tag Tracy. Tracy goes nuts on both women as the heels collide. Pie in the Sky by Tracy on Gail gets the pin at 5:32. *1/4 Post-match, DDP declares that he recognizes Tracy as an old friend of Trish Stratus and surmises that maybe Trish set up Alexis' walkout to give her a shot. This would indicate Trish knows something we don't know and actually tolerates Victoria, even though she clearly said that Victoria was a snake in the grass. Or maybe DDP's full of crap. Who knows?

- Shawn Michaels declares he should be dead, but the POWER OF JESUS means he'll be back. Oh, and he's going to face Kane at Badd Blood. Michaels then gets into a sort of mission of conversion bit, saying that he'll show Kane the right path and that he's the first person who cares about Kane personally. So long as Kane wins, this is fine.

- Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack v. Scott Hall and Booker T. A pre-match clip establishes that Booker doesn't like Teddy Long representin' the Brotherhood and he ain't gonna let it happen. Well, that answers my question. And indeed, Booker opens a can of whoop-ass on Mack right from the bell. Spinebuster and kneedrop get two. Clothesline, but the Houston Hangover misses. Nowinski in with a sideslam for two as Booker is YOUR brutha-in-peril. Nowinski with a hiptoss on Booker, and a dropkick for two. A slam gets two. The heels get Demolition Decapitation for two. Mack tries the Blackout, but Booker backs him at full speed into the corner, adding a Book End for fun. Hot tag Hall, who punches out everyone he can. Second rope bulldog gets two. Fallaway slam, and Hall wants the Edge, but Teddy Long heads to the apron. Hall beats him up and threatens to give him the Edge, but Nowinski smashes the cane over Hall's head for the pin at 9:29. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. *1/2

- Main event interview: RNN with Christian, Molly Holly, and Eric Bischoff. Molly looks like she's getting flashbacks. Christian informs Molly that she'll be fired on the spot if she fails to comply, and that no one outside of this show wants her. He even goes so far as to claim Molly hit Benoit on purpose because she WANTED to be a Diva. MAJOR heel heat for that. Molly protests, but to no avail, so she begins dancing -- nervously. Christian cuts her off and tells her she's holding back, then realizes what's missing -- a stripper's pole. Christian is being SUCH a dick right now. This is awesome. We get the obligatory Eric Bischoff / Gold Club reference before Molly approaches the pole. This time, Orton says he knows what's missing... and the three of them stuff money down where her G-string would be. Oh, that's just COLD. Molly begins crying from humiliation (HEY! THERE'S NO CRYING IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!), and Christian turns the bullying up another notch. WWE Divas are supposed to show flesh and not wrestle, he says. I love shoot comments that aren't meant to be shoot comments. And oh by the way, you can stop looking for someone to be your knight in shining armor, because it's Bischoff's show, no one can save her, no one can stop this...

- ...and CUE THE ROCK! Now THAT'S how you make an entrance! Rock picks Molly's spirits up, even singing to her (awww). Bischoff tries to remind the Rock who's in charge here, but the Rock reminds HIM who's in charge. Rock pauses here to do his "FINALLY" line (gargling and doing breathing exercises as a warmup -- awesome), then reminds Bischoff that Rock's on the Board of Governors and outranks him. Bischoff pulls out the black belt bit. Rock: "In what? Strudel-fu?" Even Molly can't keep a straight face now. Rock calls Christian a "creepy bastard" and declares that Molly doesn't have to do anything Christian wants her to until the end of time. Or until Christian loses his virginity, whichever comes first. Christian's double-take is priceless. Oh, and it's Molly v. Christian at Badd Blood, too. Orton gets in Rock's face, which is really a diversion so Christian can attack. Sting appears to take Orton out of the equation, and Rock makes the comeback and kicks Christian's ass. Then, Molly delivers a low blow to Bischoff that damn near takes the roof off of the building! Bischoff's sell job is just glorious to watch, too. Christian chases after Molly but runs into ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM! And then the best part: Rock tosses Christian onto the previously-cleared Spanish table, and Molly goes up top, rips up the dollars they stuffed in her pants, and DELIVERS THE MOTHERLOVING MACHO MAC ELBOW ON CHRISTIAN THROUGH THE TABLE! The crowd is absolutely going apesh*t right now. Rock picks Molly up and carries her on his shoulders in the ring as the show ends.

The Bottom Line:

Up until the last 15 minutes, this was a very filler RAW -- a bunch of stips that went nowhere and a couple issues set up for Badd Blood. Then the RNN started, and EVERYONE kicked it up a notch, especially Christian, who is headed straight to the top now and everyone knows it. Molly HAS to win at Badd Blood, but I don't think it'll damage Christian's stock any, as I was worried it would at WrestleMania. And THAT'S how you use the Rock -- to pop the crowd and get other people over. Everything else was forgettable, but everything else will be forgotten anyway.

What a moment, indeed.

*****

May 20, 2004

WWE.com

Judgment Day has come and gone, but the hatred lingers tonight in Las Vegas, Nevada for SmackDown!

We have a new United States champion, and it's Matt Hardy, Version 1! The sensei of Mattitude defeated Rob Van Dam and claimed the title Sunday at Judgment Day, and now he stands on the verge of greatness. Where does Matt go from here, and is the sky the limit? See how it all begins tonight!

No rest for the champions! Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio defended the WWE Tag Team Titles in an instant classic ladder match. However, that same night, Los Maximos won a #1 Contenders' Match! These two teams will face off for the tag team gold on SmackDown! Will the quick turnaround help provide new champions?

It was no longer the American Badass. At Judgment Day, we saw the Dead Man return from the history books, complete with Torrie as his zombie-ish mourner. Clearly, Torrie was playing a role, but what of Taker? Who is he now? Has he decided to go back full-time, or was this a mind game to defeat Nathan Jones?

All this and more -- including an update on Tajiri's condition -- tonight at 8 / 7 Central on UPN! Be sure to Smack Your TV and see all the action!

[Blehschmidt]

Damn Dukes....

Judgement Day was great, and Raw was just awesome.

I was a little afraid for this after the Battle ended...but you still continue to bring the awesome!!!

KEEP IT UP!!!

[JStarr]

Absolutely phenomenal segment with Rocky and Molly, Dukes...at this point, Molly's likely main-event ready as far as her in-game overness, am I right?

Not really sure how I feel about Rhyno as champ or Sting as top challenger, but it's a great way to get Jericho involved in the title hunt.

And finally, Virch is absolute gold as he continues to punch holes in your booking snafus. Methinks the writer self-parodies a bit. Nice work.

[Ace]

GOD DAMN!!!

If Molly doesn't win that belt at Bad Blood there will be hell to pay Dukes.

But seriously loved raw and am ooking forward to Smackdown. Now...

MOLLY HOLLY FOR IC CHAMPION!!!!!

[DoubleX]

Good fucking God I marked like hell for The Rock.

As VIRCH~! said, most of Raw was filler up until RNN. You really did that well, and it definitely seemed like a Rock-ish thing for him to do, including all his lines. Well done.

Smackdown now please, I wanna know if the DEADMAN is back or not.

[The Third Dukes]

Sorry, guys. I'm invoking Bad Show Policy here. We had another off-night, and that means no live SmackDown! However, allow me to provide the summary to tide you over. Don't worry, though; Virchmeister will again provide his spin on the show so you can get a better taste of it.

* Matt Hardy defended his newly won US Title by defeating Road Dogg.

* Team Angle regrouped as Kurt declared he still had a chance left in him. He told Eric that it was his turn to step up, and therefore he was going to face Ultimo Dragon. WGTT asked how they could help, and Angle said he had a plan.

* Hurricane defeated James Maritato.

* A video aired showing the daredevil exploits of both the Filthy Animals and the Maximos, as they were set to meet tonight.

* Ultimo Dragon defeated Eric Angle in a much-better-than-expected match.

* Nathan Jones declared that he was still a threat, and that what happened to Shannon made him realize he was going soft. Typical "back with a vengeance" promo, really.

* In a non-title contest, Jamie Noble defeated Ron Killings after a beltshot from Nidia.

* Post-match, Noble and Nidia kissed and made up, thereby killing the storyline that most of you thought was going nowhere. Happy?

* Also in a non-title match, Eddie Guerrero defeated Bull Buchanan by disqualification when the RTC came in and attacked him. (Can you tell, btw, that I was burned out by the Rock segment? I think the WWE sensed it too.)

* Kidman and Rey v. Jose and Joel never started, as Team Angle rushed the ring and ambushed all four men. Kurt then revealed his master plan: an alliance with a man he grew to respect at Judgment Day, Brock Lesnar. All five began to destroy the tag teams when...

* ...the lights went out. The gong went off. The Undertaker appeared -- just as he was at Judgment Day. In fact, both he and Torrie (who was noticeably absent from ringside before) were the same! Brock and Kurt charged Taker, who fought them off, and the Animals and Maximos seemed to strike a temporary alliance to beat back Team Angle. Roddy Piper came out and declared a ten-man for next week as the show went off the air.

And man, did I pick the wrong day for a Bad Show. Everyone suffered here -- Taker lost 3, Angle lost 4, All four tag team members lost 2, Brock lost 1... I HATE THE BUG!

Okay, then... Virch coming up soon.

Dukes

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarKDown! Rant for May 20, 04 / Taped May 18.

- from Lost Wages, NV.

- Your host is Michael Cole, as Corny is still laid up. I never thought I'd say "get well soon" with more emphasis.

- Opening match, United States title: Matt Hardy v. Road Dogg. Hardy's Matt Facts appear to be quite US-themed this week. Dogg punches him down to start, hitting Jump Jive and Wail on him and covering for one. Dogg drops an elbow and goes for a suplex, but Matt reverses. Gutwrench gets two. Matt tosses Dogg and baseball slides into him, then brings him back in for two. Blind charge cues the comeback. Shaky legs kneedrop gets two, and it's more punching. There's a reason Road Dogg is usually face-in-peril, folks, and this is it. Matt blocks a punch (duh) and floors Dogg with a lariat. Yodelling legdrop and Twist of Fate finish at 7:13. This is NOT the way you want to kick off the Mattitude Era. *

- Backstage, Kurt Angle and company discuss Judgment Day for the benefit of those who didn't order. Angle says that since he wasn't pinned, he is still owed his rematch. I love how they're dragging out the rematch so that they have it ready for SummerSlam -- typical WWE booking, as you recall that they did it last year as well. Eric has proven his tag team worth, and now he needs to step it up in singles, so he'll be tested by Ultimo Dragon tonight. Consider it a bit of brotherly love, Kurt says. Oh, and he wants Haas and Benjamin to follow him, because he has a Fiendish Plan. Basic buildup segment here.

- Hurricane v. James Maritato. Apparently, Maritato is no longer Nunzio and is no longer worth anyone's time, only on the roster because of his ECW ties. Hurricane springboards in with a crossbody to start, but Maritato punches away and the two tumble to the ropes. There, Maritato begins to work Hurricane's leg, but Hurricane gets an enzuigiri and a clothesline for two. Maritato bails and Hurricane hits a pescado on him. Back in, Hurricane with a flying jalapeno and a Shining Wizard for two. Maritato catches a lariat and gets an armbar, which he turns into an anklelock, which becomes an STF, which leads to Hurricane rolling him up for two. A frustrated Maritato charges straight into a chokeslam for two. Hurricane drops a knee and goes for a reverse suplex, but Maritato lands on his feet and backslides Hurricane for two. Dropkick and dragon screw get two. Blind charge misses, and Hurricane gets a German suplex and Eye of the Hurricane for the finish at 8:04. Well, if Guido's on his way out, he's gonna make everyone look good as he does so. **1/4

- A video package sets up the main event.

- Eric Angle v. Ultimo Dragon. Paul Heyman sits in on commentary as Michael Cole's performance improves 200%. Funny how that works. Eric takes Ultimo down with an amateur trip-up and tries to roll Ultimo onto his back, but Ultimo goes with the flow and breaks the hold. Ultimo gets a dropkick to stymie Eric, followed by a discus lariat and Eric bails. Ultimo fakes diving onto Eric, causing Eric to back into the guardrail, then follows him out and clotheslines Eric into the crowd. Ultimo gets on the guardrail and delivers a plancha on Eric (four rows deep) as popcorn and soda fly everywhere. Back in the ring, Ultimo gets a diving headscissors for two. Eric slows Ultimo down with a low blow, following up with a German suplex for two. Fisherman's suplex gets two. Eric with a belly-to-belly, but the kneedrop misses. Ultimo chops Eric into kebabs, nailing a series of martial arts strikes in the corner as Eric slumps down. Eric should be glad he's not in K-1. As Eric hits the deck, he grabs Ultimo's leg and trips him, and a Flair Pin gets two. Angle Slam gets two. Eric misses a blind charge and Ultimo goes up, but Eric follows for a back superplex, so Ultimo overrotates and hits the Asai DDT out of THAT, and of course it's over at 10:43. Eric's best match in his short WWE career. **1/2

- Nathan Jones updates us on Shannon's condition and promises that he won't go soft like he did at Judgment Day. Wait -- they're still pushing this guy?

- Jamie Noble v. Ron Killings. This is non-title, interestingly enough. Killings slugs away on Noble to start, getting a huge lariat out of the corner on him for two. Noble bails early and Killings dives onto him. Back in the ring, Noble gets a thumb to the eye and a DDT for two. Stalling suplex gets two. Noble gets a backbreaker for two. Killings blocks a right cross and DDTs Noble for two. To the top, but Noble slams him off as Nidia makes her way to ringside. Noble sends Killings in, but Killings gets a sunset flip out for two. Cole notes that Killings has had the title virtually the entire time he's been on SmackDown!, "which is saying something." What is it saying? Killings tries a Diamond Cutter, but Noble reverses to a reverse suplex for two. Noble with a German suplex for two. Noble goes up top and drops the leg for two. The ref is bumped off an Irish whip, and Nidia enters, drilling Killings with the CW title. Noble looks on in confusion before getting the win at 7:44. Bleh. *3/4 Noble and Nidia kiss and make up after the match, putting a mercy killing on the breakup and paranoia storyline.

- And the RTC enters to protest Roddy Piper's inclusion of himself in the tag match. Dude, you lost to a senior citizen -- get over it. Ah, but the Bull won, and he's ready to take on and fix the best the WWE has, and what better place to start than with that depraved druggie of a champion. Sadly, the match is accepted.

- Non-title: Eddie Guerrero v. Bull Buchanan. Eddie throws himself at Bull to start, but gets caught and powerslammed. Bull picks Eddie up for a spinebuster, but Eddie reverses to a DDT and gets the slingshot senton for two. Bull rolls outside to talk to Steven, so Eddie nails both of them with a tope and punches away on Bull. Bull sends Eddie to the STEEL steps, and back in, he gets two. Bull with a press slam for two. Eddie reverses a whip, but gets hit with the springboard lariat for two. Oklahoma powerslam gets two. Nice moveset, Barry. Scissors kick is avoided, and Eddie tries the Gory Bomb, but Bull's just too HOSS-TASTIC. No matter, because Eddie switches to a backslide for two. Eddie gets a crossbody and a satellite headscissors, but Steven pushes him off on the frog splash for the DQ at 6:03. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME. *1/2 Huge RTC beatdown follows and I can't believe they're putting Eddie in a program with these guys.

- Main event, WWE Tag team titles: Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio v. Los Maximos. BUT WAIT! Kurt Angle wants to speak before the match about how none of these guys are worthy of being in the same ring as he is. They don't have Olympic gold medals, and you can't exchange frequent flier miles for them either. But it's all a DIVERSION, you see, as Eric and WGTT attack the champs. The challengers want to join in, but Kurt levels both of them and Team Angle goes ballistic, destroying everyone.

- So anyway, as Kurt was saying, he found someone worthy of being in his presence, and worthy of joining forces with. That person is Brock Lesnar. Kurt puts over Brock's fighting spirit and said he realized that Brock had a lot in common with him. The two shake hands and demolish the cruisers some more until the lights go out, the gong is heard, and Undertaker appears in the ring. Torrie is still with him, and still dressed as a Creature of the Night, even though it was all an act at Judgment Day. I guess she played the part so well, they're letting her keep it. Anyway, Taker distracts the heels long enough for the cruisers to make a comeback, as the Maximos and the Animals start working together. Taker gets the Tombstone on Brock as the cruisers hit the DOLBY DIGITAL 4.0 STEREO PLANCHAS OF DEATH on Team Angle. Finally, Roddy Piper tells everyone to knock it off and makes the obvious ten-man for next week. Gee, another ten-man tag? They must be stalling for time.

The Bottom Line:

This show was a typical post-PPV show, in that everything just sort of got off the ground. Given that they have quite some time until Vengeance, it appears they're going to slow cook it again. Still, Michael Cole is drowning without a color commentator, and Vince's HOSSAMANIA is still showing strong with Bull and Taker getting the main event scene.

Yep, all them hosses like Kidman and Rey and the Maximos and Ultimo and Noble and...

*****

Time to be me for a second.

In the next few days, I will be doing triple duty. I will continue to update this diary as time sees fit and try to get it back on schedule. At the request of TGC, I will be opening a second thread that rides on the coattails of people such as conniption, Plankton, RF4, and Funky. And yes, there will be yet a third diary starting soon -- one for which I ask your patience, as I'm sure you will jump to the wrong conclusion.

Anyway, do not fret. This diary will continue. I wouldn't abandon it now, you know -- not when it's getting good.

*****

May 24, 2004

WWE.com

We hit the Quad Cities for a four-star edition of WWE RAW! Prepare for all the LIVE action tonight on 8 / 7 Central on SpikeTV!

Chris Jericho saved Sting's career, but to do so, he had to take out Rhyno. It's never a good idea to interject yourself with a man holding the World Heavyweight Title, and you better believe that Rhyno will do everything in his power to teach Y2J that lesson. How well will it work? Tune in to see!

We know of two matches for Badd Blood. The first will pit the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, against the man who tried to kill him in Kane. We know why Michaels is doing it, but why did Kane start the hostilities? Well, not only has Kane promised us a journey into his mind tonight, but he's going to teach someone the meaning of pain in the ring, as he goes one-on-one with the legendary Scott Hall! Is it a bad night to be the Bad Guy? Find out!

The other match was made courtesy of one-third of the Board of Governors, the Rock himself! Molly Holly, saved from humiliation, will go at it with Christian for the Intercontinental Title! Tonight, though, Christian promises he will show the Great One just what kind of mistake he has made. What does he mean? How will he do this?

Find out all this and more -- including a brand new RNN -- tonight LIVE on RAW! Tune in to the First Network for Men at 9 PM / 8 Central to catch all the action!

[grind your soul]

At the request of TGC, I will be opening a second thread that rides on the coattails of people such as conniption, Plankton, RF4, and Funky.

Zuh?

A small level fed or something with short results?

ANSWERS. DAMNIT. ANSWERS.

PS - I am still reading, obviously. I like how the booking isn't so hot in certain places, because it's just NOT REALISTIC for all of the hosses to disappear. 'Taker, Bull, Nathan Jones in the main event scene - I dig it.

Some of the cruisers still shouldn't be there [*coughLOSMAXIMOScough*], but as long as they're NEVER TAKEN SERIOUSLY, I can deal with that.

How often do you hear people saying things like THAT about cruisers?

Edited June 6, 2004 by grind your soul

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

Just got caught up again, and I have to say sometimes you [Dukes] can be your biggest critic. Your booking isn't all that bad and it's realistic I mean it's not like you're bringing in a ton of indy guys and pushing crusierweights to the moon, there's still a strong presence of guys with either no workrate [Nathan Jones] or ones with very little [Taker, Bull].

It's too bad you let the Dudleys go. I didn't get to vote on Judgment Day but I'd like to see you try and sign some more tag teams America's Most Wanted would be one. RAW needs some more tag teams.

Since you signed Joey Matthews you should sign Christian York, but apprently you saddled him with Johnny Jeter he would have also been a good addition to Smackdown! as another member of V1's MFers [That's Mattitude Followers by the way ] BTW: About time Matt Hardy got a push! Now push Lance Storm and I'll build many a temple in your honor. Nah just kidding.

Keep up the good work

Sullen

[The Third Dukes]

WWE RAW

May 24, 2004

LIVE from Rockford, IL

First, an editor's note: WWE.com accidentally referred to Rockford as one of the Quad Cities. In reality, the QCs on the Illinois side are Moline and Rock ISLAND, not RockFORD. WWE.com regrets the error.

Speaking of Rock, though, we now show extended highlights from last week's RNN, where Rock saved Molly from almost certain humiliation and gave her a shot at Christian at Badd Blood. I'd tell you more, but seriously, go back and read it. Go on, scroll up. I'll still be here.

Done? Good. Told you it was worth it.

I HAVE A FEVER AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS MORE PYRO as we come to you live from America's Heartland. Sign in the crowd: "Bring the ROCK to ROCKFORD!" Look, they can't all be original.

JR: "With two matches already signed for Badd Blood in three weeks' time, we hit the land of Lincoln for some honest-to-goodness action! Welcome to WWE RAW! I'm Jim Ross alongside Diamond Dallas Page, and DDP, we have a simply scintillating main event tonight!"

DDP: "You damn better believe it, Jimbo! Chris Jericho is stepping up to the plate and challenging the World Heavyweight Champion Rhyno for the title tonight! RAW's two biggest stars are ready to go at it!"

JR: "And as promised on WWE.com, the Big Red Monster Kane will go one-on-one with the wily veteran Scott Hall! Is the Bad Guy in trouble tonight? Time will tell."

But first, it's time for the newsbreak music to play and for us to get a good look at the OrTon 5115. Randy Orton is there in the ring, microphone in hand.

Orton: "Welcome, one and all, to the best thing to happen to your humdrum lives, RNN! Now, I realize first off that last week got a little ornery, as a certain member of the Board of Governors dropped in totally uninvited and insisted on taking over what we all know is my show..."

The crowd starts a "Rocky" chant.

Orton: "I SAID THIS IS MY SHOW! And if you don't shut up, you won't get the benefit of seeing me out here!"

Of course the crowd cheers.

Orton: "Fine! Just for that, I'm staying! Anyway, this week, we're going to keep things more under control. No one's appearing on this show uninvited -- and that goes double for you, Stinger! In fact, Sting, let me just say that I'm sick of your attempts to cling to whatever past fame you had. You should've been out of the WWE last week, but you got lucky. No more luck for you, Sting. At Badd Blood, I'm going to take what's left of your fame and glory and wipe it off the face of the earth! I hope I've made myself clear.

Now... now that that's out of the way, let me introduce my guest. You may have seen her try to get noticed by disguising herself as a fan and attacking the Women's Champion. Last week, she had her first unofficial match in the WWE, and this week, I am pleased to announce she is the newest member of the RAW team! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Eric Bischoff's latest coup -- Tracy!"

Trish Stratus's old music (ca. 2001-02) plays as Tracy slowly walks to the ring in street clothes. She enters the ring and acknowledges the crowd almost modestly before sitting next to Orton.

Orton: "Congratulations, Tracy."

Tracy: "Why, thank you, Randy. It's great to be a part of the WWE, and I finally got to--"

Orton: "No, I mean congratulations on being invited to RNN."

JR: "Oh dear."

Tracy: "Well, it is nice to be recognized by a fellow RAW athlete."

Orton: "Yeah, well, don't let it go to your head. You haven't proven anything yet, really. I mean, anyone can win with the element of surprise on their side. The question is, what will you do when you and your opponent are ready for each other?"

Tracy: "I guess we'll just have to find out when the time comes, but as of right now, there isn't anyone around who's offered. I guess no one knew I was available. Did you?"

Orton: "Tracy, I'm always available to make an offer for you, but can't this wait until after RAW's done?"

Tracy shoots Orton a dirty look.

Orton: "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Man, people around here need to lighten up a little. Just because I had a front-row seat to Molly's performance doesn't mean I'm a pig. I mean, you'd be right there if I had been the one dancing on a pole, right?"

JR sounds like he's about to lose his dinner.

Tracy: "Well, you seem like a well-built enough guy. Pretty clear why you're in Evolution... but... I think I'd rather see someone with a bit more..."

She glances downward.

Tracy: "...character?"

Orton steps backward, somewhat offended. He scowls as Tracy smiles. During this impasse, though, the blaxploitation music hits up and Theodore Long appears on the stage, alone.

Long: "Lemme holla at ya playa, Tracy! Hey Tracy, I know ya wanna make a name fo yo'self on mah Women's Champion, but ya doin' it all wrong, belie dat! Ya gotta work yo' way up da ladda instead o' jumpin' her from behind like da cracka you are, belie dat, girl! So t'night, yo' gonna get yo' chance to make an impact against mah othah sistah, one lovely an' dan'erous Gail Kim! An afta' she's done whippin' yo' cracka ass here in dis snow white Illinois state, y'all gon' wish you ain't nevah messed wit' da Playa's Club, belie dat, playa!"

Orton: "Well, Tracy, here's your chance. Here's someone willing to give you a chance. Do you accept?"

Tracy: "Tell Gail to get ready, because tonight, I'm going for the top."

Tracy's music plays -- no reason, I just picked one -- as she walks out of the ring and towards the stage, which Long has already left.

JR: "Well, how about that announcement, Page? It looks like it'll be Tracy's first ever one-on-one encounter, as she squares off with the dangerous Gail Kim!"

DDP: "It's beautiful, JR! This is what the WWE's all about -- competition. And this is going to be high quality competition right here."

JR: "Folks, when we return, Christian is expected to join us, and he has some words not just for Molly Holly, but for the Rock as well. Stay tuned."

***COMMERCIAL***

And now, the Whack of the Night, brought to you by the Lorillard Tobacco Company's Youth Smoking Prevention Program: from two weeks ago, Molly aims for Christian but whacks Benoit with the title belt, and Christian is the new I-C champion.

"At Last" plays as Christian walks to the ring, title belt over his shoulder. He enters the ring as Lillian introduces him "Please welcome the Intercontinental Champion, Christian!" Upon hearing this, he takes the mic from her.

Christian: "No, no, no... you didn't do it right, missy! Now if you wanna keep your job around here, you'd better make sure you don't screw up something as basic as reading a cue card... well, assuming you even got this job because you could read a cue card."

Garcia slinks away, in a huff.

Christian (scoffing): "Women. They're so easy to upset. You know, a lot of you probably enjoyed what happened to me last week, but rest assured, Rock, you lay a hand on me at Badd Blood in three weeks -- or any time before then -- and Molly will never get this title off my shoulder. I would say she'd never get it off my waist, but I'm sure she's really good at pulling belts off of waists by now."

He laughs to himself.

DDP: "Pathetic."

Christian: "In fact, Molly, what happened at WrestleMania was a fluke and an aberration. Everyone in this building, and everyone watching at home, knows I'm the better wrestler than you are. What have you ever done to make your name? I sacrificed my body countless times in TLC matches while you were still on the beach performing in photo sessions. Now all of a sudden some guy gets sent to jail and you think you're worthy of my title? I don't think so!

But the match is made, Molly, and you will go through with it. I just hate what I am going to do to you then and there... but before I do it, I need to warm up some. So I made this match tonight to show you, Molly, how superior men are to women. Pay attention and see for yourself. Whoever was dumb enough to sign up on the dotted line, come on out!"

The laugh is heard, leading into "Keys to the City". Trish Stratus emerges and walks to the ring. Christian smiles and looks down upon her.

Christian: "What a shame, Trish. What a shame. In another world -- in a perfect world -- you and I would be arm in arm, with you supporting me all the way as I spread the word of truth about men and women. But no... you have to take her side. And for that, there's only one thing I can do."

He slaps her as the bell rings.

non-title: Christian vs. Trish Stratus

Christian grabs Trish by the hair and tosses her into the ropes. He bends over and chokes her against the ropes as the referee tries to pry him off of her. He pulls Trish up by the hair and suplexes her to the canvas. His one-hand cover gets two. Christian picks Trish up from behind and yanks her to the canvas by the hair. He covers again for two. Christian picks Trish up and slaps her a few times as she is propped up by the corner.

He turns to argue with the referee, only to turn around and get caught with a roundhouse kick. Trish covers for two, but Christian kicks out with authority and clotheslines her down. He goes up to the top and shows himself off to the crowd, but the delay allows Trish to hit the handstand rana. Trish climbs to the top and connects with a bodypress, but Christian rolls through for two. Christian slowly picks Trish up by the hair, so Trish low blows him.

Trish grabs the bulldog headlock, bounces off the ropes, but Christian retains control and tosses her across the ring. He picks Trish up and delivers the Unprettier to her. Christian covers with one foot, and the referee makes the three-count at 5:42.

WINNER: Christian

JR: "Dammit! One of these days I hope that creepy bastard gets what he deserves! He has no respect for anyone! He's trying to..."

As if JR weren't indignant enough before, this'll make him even more so: Christian picks Trish up and shows her the I-C belt, yelling about Molly. He then smacks her in the face with it. He sets the I-C belt on the ground and grabs Trish by the hair, dragging her over to it caveman-style. He picks her up, spins her around, and drops her with the Unprettier right on the belt. Christian's music plays again as he rolls Trish over and plants a kiss on her lips before walking out.

DDP: "What a... I can't... this... JR, cover for me."

JR: "Well, while my broadcast partner goes to wash the disgust out of his mouth, and that creepy bastard there, Christian, walks off with a title belt he doesn't even come close to deserving, let me beg you guys to stay tuned anyway. Up next, you'll see what the women of the WWE are really all about as two of the great up-and-coming stars square off when Tracy and Gail Kim go one-on-one as promised earlier tonight!"

***COMMERCIAL***

JR: "Welcome back, folks, and... in that last match, we wanna show you how low Christian is capable of sinking to, as he not only defeated Trish Stratus -- who, I know, accepted the challenge -- but then he humiliated her and treated her... well, like a sack of garbage! First he drags her across the ring, then he... well, look at it! He violated her!"

DDP: "I know, I know, JR, and it makes me mad too! So mad, in fact, that during the break I composed some thoughts about it for a little something I like to call Good Thing Bad Thing."

Cue the graphic.

DDP: "Now, Christian is clearly a troubled spirit. Hey, if you saw Road Dogg walking around in drag, it might affect you, too. But ever since that time, he's been on a mission to prove that women are inferior. Look, if he's jealous of Molly's fame, he shouldn't be -- it came at way too high a price for her to ever, EVER be able to enjoy it. She's lost something very important to herself, and that's something Christian just can't appreciate. So what does he do? He degrades her, and all other women with her, just to get noticed.

Now, in wrestling, lots of people do things to get noticed -- it happens all the time in all sorts of situations. Heck, we've had people try to apply overzealous forms of censorship, we've had people try to flash their breasts at the camera, we've had guys flip middle fingers, moon the crowd, you name it, chances are someone in the WWE has done it. But, just because they were condoned doesn't mean they were acceptable. And certainly, just because other acts went by without a backlash doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. One day, Christian's going to learn the difference. When he does, it will not be a Bad Thing; it'll most definitely be a Good Thing."

DDP smiles as the intros for the next match begin.

JR: "Well, I agree with that assessment 100%, Page. Christian is definitely deserving of getting his -- and I can only hope that he's watching this next match and sees for himself what women in the WWE are all about. We have Gail Kim, who isn't the most pleasant of people, but is still a good wrestler and former Women's Champion, up against Tracy, who is making her official WWE debut, Page."

DDP: "Yeah, but if it's anything like last week, it oughta be a good one."

Gail Kim vs. Tracy

Gail and Tracy lock up, and Tracy gets a go-behind and takes Gail down. She tries a floatover, but Gail stands her up and forearms her into the corner. Gail sends Tracy across the ring, but Tracy catches a charging Kim with an elbow. She climbs to the second rope and gets a rana off of it, covering for two. Both women charge, and Tracy knocks Gail down, then bounces into the ropes, only to get hooked by Long's cane.

Gail jumps on Tracy and pounds her in the back, but Tracy spins around and the two women begin a catfight. They tumble to the outside, and Long pulls Tracy off of Gail and holds her back just long enough for Gail to slap Tracy. Gail rolls Tracy back into the ring and climbs to the top rope. She walks across the ropes and dives onto Tracy with a rana. Gail covers for two.

Gail sends Tracy into the ropes and tackles her down. She gets up and yells a welcome to Tracy before getting onto the top rope. She dives off with a rana try, but Tracy catches her and slingshots her over the top rope. Tracy follows to the outside, but before either woman can get any momentum going, Victoria charges out from the back and clotheslines both women. She tosses Gail into the steel post, then picks Tracy up and suplexes her on the mats surrounding the ring. Meanwhile, the referee reaches 10 at 5:29.

DOUBLE COUNTOUT

Victoria tosses both women into the ring. She sends Gail into the turnbuckle, then picks Tracy up. Tracy fires off a right hand to protect herself, but Victoria kicks her in the gut, then whips her into Gail. She charges and lands a clothesline on the both of them in the corner. Victoria picks up first Tracy, then Gail, nailing both of them with the Widow's Peak in turn. She surveys the damage, a wild look in her eyes, before shaking her head and walking off as her music plays.

JR: "Man, this Victoria -- I don't know what to make of her, Page! She changes her attitude like most people change shirts!"

DDP: "I know, and I don't get it. She's not all there, Jimbo -- and that's a Bad Thing for sure!"

JR: "Folks, when we come back, it'll be Scott Hall going one-on-one with the man who destroyed his good friend two weeks ago, Kane!"

***COMMERCIAL***

And now, the Sting of the Night, brought to you by Stacker2's YJ Stinger: from two weeks ago, Kane annihilates Shawn Michaels with a leaping Tombstone.

The pyro is off, and we hear the announcers.

JR: "Folks, in three weeks at Badd Blood it'll be pretty damn personal, and right now it is personal as the Big Red Monster -- that maniac who tried to kill Shawn Michaels and still hasn't told us why -- steps into the ring to face Scott Hall."

DDP: "There's a lot of personal feelings out there, Jim. Scott Hall and Shawn Michaels have been great friends for years now. You remember how D-Generation X started? It was because Shawn Michaels wanted to get fired so he could join his buddy Hall in WCW. It was the big talk of the boys in the WCW locker room that Shawn was trying to join the nWo! So these guys have been friends now for 7, 8, 10 years -- I don't know how long, but long enough that Scott wants to get even!"

JR: "Well, he's got a hell of a task ahead of him. This is a man who has no feelings -- he has no soul -- he has nothing but malice and destruction on his mind and in his heart, if he even has a heart."

Kane vs. Scott Hall

Hall charges Kane and begins to slug him back in the corner. Hall unloads with lefts and rights, but Kane shrugs them off and laughs at Hall. Hall sends Kane into the corner and tries to follow in with a clothesline, but Kane boots him down. Kane grabs Hall and throws him into the corner, punching down on him with his right hand. Hall slumps to a seated position, then from that position kicks Kane in the groin, getting separation.

Hall pulls himself to the second rope and dives off, getting a bulldog on Kane. Hall maintains the pressure by paintbrushing Kane in the back of the head, then stomping away on Kane's torso. Kane gets to his feet as Hall is pulled back by the ref, but Hall charges Kane and clotheslines him out of the ring. Kane lands on his feet as Hall heads outside to keep up the offense, which means he can grab Hall and throw him into the steps.

Back in the ring, Kane picks Hall up over his head in a press slam. He covers for two. Kane picks Hall up and throws him over his shoulder, as though trying the Tombstone. Hall slides down Kane's back and shoves Kane into the turnbuckle, cradling him on the rebound for two. Both men get up, and Hall grabs Kane's arm, winding him up and clotheslining him down. He signals for the Edge, but when he goes for it, it's near the ropes, meaning Kane sends him over the top and out.

Kane grabs Hall by the throat as Hall gets onto the apron. Kane lifts Hall over the top rope and chokeslams him down. Kane covers, but at two, Hall gets his foot on the ropes. Kane picks Scott up and tries for the Burning Hammer, but Hall lands on his feet on the way down. He grabs Kane and holds him over his head in a stalling suplex. Hall covers for two.

Hall gets frustrated as Kane gets to his feet, so Hall begins throwing lefts and rights in rapid-fire succession. Kane is reeling, so Hall bounces off the ropes and lands a final right, flooring Kane. Hall signals for the Edge again, but Kane sits up. Hall turns around and steps back, but Kane gets to his feet. Hall charges straight into Kane's boot.

Kane goes to the top rope, and as Hall gets up, Kane dives off in a clothesline. He covers, but picks Hall up at two. Kane sets Hall over his shoulder, slides him down, and connects with the Tombstone. He covers for the easy three at 9:34.

WINNER: Kane

JR: "Kane emerges victorious from this vicious battle here, and now nothing stands in his way. He's in top form getting ready for Shawn Michaels at Badd Blood! But why? Why did Kane attack in the first place?"

Kane takes a microphone as the music stops.

DDP: "I think we're about to find out."

Kane: "Shawn -- I hope you're resting quite comfortably at home. I hope you enjoy the feeling of lying on your back. And I hope that every day, as you check off the days on your calendar until you're allowed to return to the ring, you think about who it is that left you broken, isolated, and for dead in this ring! You see, Shawn, when I first came here, I helped you -- but I should've tried to hurt you! All your life, Shawn, you've been a lucky man. You've always had the good life -- all the pleasures, all the women, all the money you could want! You know what I had? PAIN! I had pain, agony, humiliation, and a father who made me think he cared!

And when I came here to this organization, intent on taking my brother out, I thought it would make me complete again -- but nothing can do that! All I've ever had were people to take advantage of me. People who had everything they wanted -- people who were popular! I've never been one of the popular people, the gifted people, the beautiful people. Shawn, you epitomize the beautiful people! And when your prima donna act got stale, you became some Jesus freak -- and people thought you were beautiful again! They cared about you!

No one cares about me, Shawn -- and if you try to change my mind, you'll see just what I'm capable of! What you got two weeks ago was child's play -- you should see what I'm capable of when I want to hurt someone!"

Kane drops the microphone and sets off his pyro.

JR: "So that's it? It's all because he sees Shawn as a pretty boy? Kane's a bully -- a pathetic, desperate man!"

DDP: "Kane's also a headcase, JR! Let's face it -- some psych major could get a thesis out of him!"

JR: "Well, I won't argue that. Kane is a demented individual -- you are right. Folks, later tonight, it's the World Heavyweight Title on the line as Rhyno defends against Y2J Chris Jericho! It's gonna be a classic! Stay tuned!"

***COMMERCIAL***

DDP: "Well, Jim is off right now checking in on the status of Shawn Michaels, so it looks like it's you an' me, kids! Up next we got six-person intergender tag team action, as the World Tag Team Champions team with their manager to take on an alliance just made complete last week, when this new punk Joey Matthews came out of nowhere and helped Jete -- Johnny Jeter -- defeat Tommy Dreamer! I don't wanna say it'll be a good match or nothin', but these two teams are on a collision course, and they're about ready to collide right -- oh, hey, Jimbo, you're back! What's the news?"

JR: "It's simply this: Shawn Michaels is ready for action against Kane in three weeks, and the time is coming when he will be back in the ring, ready to take out the man who tried to kill him."

DDP: "Is he scared?"

JR: "Not at all, Page."

Joey Matthews, Johnny Jeter, and Jackie Gayda vs. Nick Mondo, Tommy Dreamer, and Stacy Keibler

Everyone pairs off to start (Matthews with Mondo, Dreamer with Jeter, and Gayda with Keibler). The girls roll around and scratch while the guys punch each other. Dreamer whips Jeter into the ropes and tries a spinebuster, but Jeter reverses to a facebuster as Matthews gets a dropkick on Mondo. Everyone heads out of the ring except for Jeter and Dreamer, as Jeter punches Dreamer into the ropes. He whips Dreamer in, catching him with a Hotshot on the way out.

Dreamer slumps to the ground, so Jeter runs the ropes and hits a dropkick to a crawling Dreamer's face. Jeter tags in Matthews, and the two get a double elbowsmash on Dreamer. Matthews stomps away at Dreamer before backing him into the corner and unloading with forearms. He sends Dreamer into the opposite corner and meets him with a spin kick to put him down. He covers for two. Matthews tags Jeter back in, and Matthews gets a fireman's carry that Jeter turns into a DDT.

Jeter heads to the top rope as Dreamer gets up, but Jeter's spin kick attempt misses. Dreamer crawls to his corner, but Jeter is still fresh and pulls him back. Jeter grabs Dreamer and gives him a German suplex, throwing him into his corner. As Jackie holds Dreamer at bay, Matthews tags in and climbs to the top rope. Jeter tosses Dreamer into the opposite ropes, and Matthews catches Dreamer on the rebound with a missile dropkick. Matthews covers, but can only get two.

Jackie demands in, so Matthews tags her in. Jackie removes her spiked heel and charges Dreamer, but Dreamer sidesteps her and Jackie crashes into the turnbuckle. Dreamer lunges and tags in Mondo, who stops Jackie from getting to the corner. Mondo looks to the crowd as he holds Jackie by the hair, but the distraction allows Matthews to clothesline Mondo down.

This draws everyone into the ring, as Dreamer counteracts Matthews with a DDT, only to have Jeter enter and hit a springboard clothesline on Dreamer. Jackie, meanwhile, tries to escape, but Stacy cuts her off and gives her a boot choke in the corner. The referee tries to break that up. In the meantime, Mondo goes table hunting and emerges with one he sets up just outside the corner of the ring. In the ring, Dreamer plants Jeter with the Dreamer Driver as Mondo goes to the top.

Matthews races over and knocks Mondo off the ropes through the aforementioned table. Dreamer catches Matthews from behind, but Matthews flips over Jeter's head and dropkicks him into the corner. Dreamer staggers out into a second torture rack/DDT combination from Jeter and Matthews. Matthews covers, and it's enough to get the three-count at 11:09.

WINNERS: Joey Matthews, Johnny Jeter, and Jackie Gayda

JR: "Well, folks, it wasn't a pretty match by any standards, but this hot new team got the job done, and you gotta think that they might've sent a wakeup call to the champions."

DDP: "Might have? They beat the champs! Yeah, it's not a title change or nothin', but if this doesn't put Mondo and Dreamer on notice that they gotta improve their game, nothing will!"

JR: "Folks, still to come tonight, it'll be Rhyno going one-on-one with Y2J Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Title! It's gonna be a full-fledged slobberknocker if ever there was one!"

***COMMERCIAL***

We are backstage with Jonathan Coachman, who is standing by with Molly Holly.

Coach: "Molly, in three weeks' time, it'll be the opportunity many people feel is long overdue: you will step into the ring with Christian for one more shot at the Intercontinental Title."

Molly (introspectively): "Coach... when I think about what that guy stands for, with his infantile behavior towards people like me, it makes me sick! And then I look out there at how he handled Trish today, and... I'll be honest, Coach; I couldn't believe a man would be that cruel, and I've seen cruel people in my day. But at Badd Blood, it all changes. I'm not just wrestling for myself anymore, Coach. I'm going at it for people like Trish, Alexis, Stacy -- even Lucille, Victoria, Jazz, Gail... this is our time to shine. Size shouldn't matter, Coach; and at Badd Blood, the only size that'll matter is how big that belt will look around my waist."

Coach: "What about Chynna? She cost you the title last time."

Molly: "I'm not scared. Last week, I was told personally I had nothing to worry about. I believe that. Chynna Doll is a huge obstacle, but believe me, if she even tries to get involved, it will come to nothing."

Molly walks off.

Coach: "JR, DDP, back to you at ringside."

JR: "All right, Coach, and... certainly right now it seems that Molly is trying to remain calm about her situation."

DDP: "Well, that is the way you have to approach it, Jim. She's trying not to overreact under all the pressure. Right now, I can't describe to you the pressure you feel as the challenger to a title where people are going in and putting all their faith on you to win. It's especially hard when physically, you're such a clear underdog. But Molly appears to be handling it well, and I wish her the best of luck."

JR: "As do I. Folks, our next match is a bit of an offshoot from last week's tag encounter which saw Booker T and Scott Hall fall at the hands of Theodore Long's duo of Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack through some illegal means."

DDP: "Yeah, that cane to the head caused a lot of trouble for the Bad Guy, and now ol' Booker's out to get even."

Christopher Nowinski (sans facemask, for once) vs. Booker T

They lock up. Nowinski backs Booker into the corner and pretends to offer a clean break, but instead slaps Booker in the face. Booker charges, but Nowinski trips him up, then points to his head. Booker stands up and spins Nowinski to face him, following up with chops to the chest. Booker sends Nowinski into the ropes and hits him with an elbowsmash. Booker then bounces off the ropes with his tiptoe kneedrop.

Booker picks Nowinski up in a side headlock, but Nowinski shoves him off into the ropes. Booker misses a clothesline, and Nowinski chop blocks Booker on the rebound to knock him down. Nowinski pounds away on Booker, picking him up and slamming him back down. He covers for two. Nowinski backs Booker into the corner and tries to punch him down, but Booker blocks and returns fire, staggering Nowinski.

Booker wrenches Nowinski's arm and blasts him with a crescent kick. He covers for two. Nowinski begs off, but as Booker advances in on him in the corner, Nowinski trips him up and covers him (feet on the ropes) for two. Booker gets up and kicks Nowinski, then nails a DDT. Booker covers for two. Booker goes to the top rope, but Theodore Long slams his cane on the ropes and crotches Booker. Nowinski follows him up and connects with a belly-to-belly superplex. He covers for two.

Booker gets sent into the turnbuckle, and Nowinski charges in with a clothesline. Booker staggers out into a flapjack by Nowinski. He covers, but again it's two. Nowinski puches away on Booker, landing blows to his face. He then covers again, but it's still two. Nowinski picks Booker up and sets up for a suplex, but Booker reverses.

Booker goes back to the top and, as Nowinski stands up, connects with a missile dropkick. Booker races over to cover, but again only gets two. Booker picks Nowinski up and backs him into the ropes, unloading a chop to Nowinski that doubles him over in pain. Booker nails the scissors kick from that position, then looks around. He stares at his hand. He shakes, nods, and connects with the Spinaroonie.

Booker charges in on Nowinski, who is slowly getting up, and tries for the leg lariat, but Nowinski ducks it. He low blows Booker from behind (out of the ref's view), then rolls him up, making sure to grab the tights and put feet on the ropes. All this is enough to get the three-count at 9:43.

WINNER: Christopher Nowinski

JR: "Dammit! And I bet he'll brag about this to anyone who's listening! Christopher Nowinski just stole one from Booker T here!"

DDP: "Nowinski's did just about everything he could get away with in that match. I guarantee you a rematch won't go as smoothly for him!"

JR: "I don't see how it could. Folks, coming up next is our main event. It'll be Rhyno defending the World title one-on-one against Y2J Chris Jericho! Don't go anywhere."

***COMMERCIAL***

The countdown plays as the announcers talk up the match.

JR: "Folks, it's that time now, and with the biggest prize RAW has on the line, you gotta know both these men are going to be at their best in an attempt to win the gold."

DDP: "It don't matter that this is just another TV show and not a Pay-Per-View. I'm tellin ya, Jimbo, no matter where you get your big break, no matter when you face off for a world championship, it's all you think about, and it's all that runs through your mind. Chris Jericho, right now, is thinking about all the times he was the king of the hill, and what he has to do to get back there!"

JR: "Certainly Y2J has experience being a champion. He is one of a handful of Undisputed Champions. In fact, he was the first ever Undisputed Champion, winning a four-man tournament on one night, taking out two WWE legends in The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin!"

DDP: "And it's a very short list of people that have beaten both, that's for damn sure."

Jericho: "Welcome to RAW - IS - JERICHO! Rhyno, I know you're fuming and fussin' in the back there, and you personally can't wait until you step into my ring to face the Living Legend and the Highlight of the Night. But let me make something clear, Jungle Boy -- your prize is something you achieved while I wasn't around to stop you! Your prize is not legitimate, because you have yet to prove you're better than I am! And now, just a few short weeks after my great comeback, I'm going to prove to you that you don't deserve to wear the belt you claim you've earned!

What are your accomplishments, Rhyno? You sneak attack people, and you beat them up until they can't defend themselves. Hell, that's how you beat HHH for the title! Well, I got news for ya, you pathetic excuse for a midget Big Show! I can't be pummelled into submission! I can't be defeated by brute force! And I damn sure ain't gonna find myself lying flat on my back when this is over! So Rhyno, come on out here, and bring that 15 pounds that belongs to me, so I can give you a hellacious beating that I guarantee you will never, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever forget if you live to be 100!"

JR: "And just like that the gauntlet is thrown!"

DDP: "It's pretty damn clear to me -- Y2J is ready to be the man tonight! But uh-oh, here comes someone who already is the man and is ready to keep it that way!"

Indeed, here comes Rhyno.

JR: "Just look at the intensity in that man's eyes. Look at the way he wants to stare a laser beam into Y2J's very soul. Bah gawd, we've never had a more intense champion than this, Page!"

DDP: "And it's almost ready to begin! Everything is on the line right now! I just wonder if they can hold it in!"

JR: "Folks, we're going to take our final commercial break, but when we come back, it'll be Y2J and the Man Beast for the biggest prize we got!"

***COMMERCIAL***

World Heavyweight Title match: Rhyno (champion) vs. Chris Jericho (challenger)

The two men are still staring each other down. Jericho takes a step back, then fires punches away on Rhyno's skull. Rhyno is leaning against the ropes, so Jericho sends him in and meets him with a dropkick on the way out. Rhyno stands up immediately, so Jericho slams his palm into Rhyno's nose. Rhyno is disoriented, which allows Jericho to hit the facejam.

He goes to the ropes and dives for the Lionsault, but Rhyno gets his knees up. Rhyno then jumps onto Jericho's leg and bends it awkwardly. Jericho screams in pain as he crawls to the ropes. Rhyno sees this and immediately brings Jericho back. He picks Jericho's leg up and slams it down on the ground. Jericho rolls around in pain as Rhyno smiles. He picks Jericho up, then grabs his leg and drops a shinbreaker on Jericho.

Rhyno tosses Jericho over the top rope, and as Jericho lands on the floor, he rolls to his back. Rhyno sees this and follows him out. He picks Jericho up over his head and drops him partway onto the guardrail so that Jericho's leg bounces off the top of the rail. Jericho's screams can be heard a mile away. Rhyno rolls Jericho back in and attempts to get a standing legbar, but Jericho is ready and rolls Rhyno up for two. Jericho instinctively goes for a running enzuigiri, nailing Rhyno with his good leg, but he lands on his bad leg and crumples in a heap.

Rhyno is slow to get up, but makes it to his feet before Jericho does and charges. Jericho drops down, and Rhyno dives through the ropes to the floor. As Rhyno clears his head, Jericho tries to shake some feeling into his leg. Rhyno returns to the ring as Jericho pounds him in the back, then sets him up and delivers a DDT. He covers for two.

Jericho gets the "A-ha!" face, then grabs Rhyno and picks him up. Gingerly he stands back to back with Rhyno before dropping him with a Rude Awakening. Jericho covers, but he can only get two. Jericho pounds his fists directly into the back of Rhyno's neck, then picks Rhyno up and tosses him into the ropes.

Of course, Rhyno comes out with a GORE to Jericho, but staggers away, holding his head and checking his neck. He goes to cover, but Jericho's foot is on the ropes at 2. Rhyno argues with the ref, who won't change the count. So Rhyno picks the ref up and throws him to the canvas. Rhyno heads to the outside, fishes under the ring, and pulls out...

...a sledgehammer. He returns to the ring as Jericho tries to put weight on his leg. Rhyno winds up and swings, catching Jericho enough to make him fall on his back. Rhyno almost laughs, then aims the sledgehammer directly at Jericho's leg when...

...MOTORHEAD starts up and HHH makes his return, charging the ring and pounding the living hell out of Rhyno. HHH sets Rhyno up and nails the Pedigree straight away on him. HHH looks around, certain he's gotten revenge, when Jericho sneaks up from behind and clips HHH, causing him to writhe in pain. Jericho applies the Stretch Muffler to HHH's leg, as Hunter begins screaming about his quad. Rhyno stands up, clears the cobwebs, and hits Jericho with a second GORE to break the hold. He knocks himself out with the move, and everyone's out as we just sort of go to the back at 13:21.

NO CONTEST

Backstage, Eric Bischoff is watching on a monitor. He sees the camera nearby and looks straight into it.

Bischoff: "I guess this is the part of the show where everyone wonders how I'm gonna punish HHH, isn't it? Seeing as he did screw up my title match, I'd say he has something coming to him. But I can't just let Jericho go -- Rhyno had him crippled and destroyed. Therefore, I'm ordering all three men to meet at Badd Blood on June 13. The World Heavyweight Title will hang in the balance. And if there's one thing I'm sure, it's that my champion -- the true champion -- will take care of at least one man I hate. I don't care if it's that Evolution sellout Hunter or that arrogant loudmouth Jericho. I guarantee that after Badd Blood, when Rhyno is done, one of them will never walk again."

Bischoff chuckles to himself before allowing a full-fledged laugh. He stops laughing and merely flashes his million-dollar smile as the credits come up and we fade to black.

<<<FIN>>>

*****

Corino, time to check your mail.

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for May 24 / 04.

- Live from Rockford, IL.

- Your hosts are Good Ol' and Dr. Teeth.

- RNN: Randy Orton proclaims there will be NOTHING stupid happening like the Rock showing up last week. He threatens to leave if the crowd won't stop making noise, so the crowd cheers. Oldie but a goodie. Anyway, his guest is Tracy, who is given Trish's old music and is now an official wrestler. I really hope they don't do this more often -- they're setting a dangerous precedent for any maniac that you can jump the rail and be part of the show. Orton congratulates her on appearing on RNN and proceeds to be a jerk. Tracy is available, but no one has offered. A match, I mean. Though Randy turns it into a proposition, which leads to a dick joke. Theodore Long interrupts the merriment and actually issues a challenge. It'll be Tracy v. Gail, tonight. I don't like those odds.

- Christian comes out and immediately berates Lillian for screwing up the intro and wonders out loud how she got the job. Hee hee. He then goes into uber-dick mode, claiming that Molly will never get the I-C belt off his waist... although she's had practice with that. OUCH. Molly's just another Diva who hasn't paid her dues and is only getting a push because of what happened to her. For those expecting me to say "I love shoot comments that aren't meant to be shoot comments", no. Molly actually has paid her dues, and she actually can wrestle -- probably the most talented all-around female in wrestling today, and perhaps the greatest American female wrestler ever. Further, his comment about her push is only indirectly true -- yes, she's pushed because it's a great story and attracting media attention, but she's also maintained and justified her spot through working her ass off and getting over with the crowd in the ring to the point where she's truly a credible challenger. Compare to Survivor Series -- she pinned Big Show in the Elimination Chamber and the poor slug was basically ruined as far as any sort of heat and/or draw. Granted, there are few people I'd rather see it happen to than Paul Wight, who seems to have forgotten the meaning of "motivated" (not to mention "diet" and "exercise"), but the progress they've made with her character would be astounding whether or not she was a media darling beforehand. Put another way, Zach Gowen was a media darling, and yet he failed to connect with the audience, even though I'd have put his credibility level at around Molly's as far as beating the major players back around SummerSlam. In fact, Gowen got a clean win over Vince McMahon (well, as clean as a match with a half-dozen run-ins gets) and was rescued by Hulk Hogan and STILL didn't get over. So, really, it all depends on who you are rather than who they cover you with. Where was I? Oh, yeah, so Christian says he laid out an open challenge to any woman, and I'm half-expecting Chynna to turn face here, but instead we get...

- Non-title: Christian v. Trish Stratus. Christian proclaims that in a perfect world, they'd be dating and she'd know her place, but alas, he has to slap her instead. I love this guy. I mean, I hate him, but I love what they're doing with him. In something like this, you have to go over the top. Christian yanks Trish around by the hair and chokes her down. Suplex gets two. Hairpull slam gets two. Christian smacks the taste out of Trish's mouth (so JR tells me -- Canada won't air it), then showboats and walks into a Kawada Kick. It gets two before Christian lariats Trish. To the top, but that allows Trish to hit the Stratusphere. Christian rolls through a bodypress for two. Low blow by Trish (.6 Flair), but Christian stops the Stratusfaction and javelins her across the ring. Unprettier and ARROGANT COVER~! get the pin at 5:42. This was what it was. *1/4 Post-match, Christian delivers a second Unprettier on the belt, making sure to drag her to the belt caveman-style. The subtext is breathtaking, no?

- DDP analyzes Christian's behavior in "Good Thing Bad Thing". I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to determine which one he says it is. It's really kind of interesting how DDP has become a moral compass for this show, considering his wife is a centerfold and all that. Of course, that might be coincidence.

- Tracy v. Gail Kim. Tracy goes amateur to start, but Gail switches and goes CLUBBERIN. Blind charge misses and a second rope rana gets two. Gail is run over, but Long's thuggin' and/or buggin' gives Gail the advantage. Catfight spills to the outside, and the heels double-team. Ropewalk rana gets two for Gail. Spear ("Welcome to RAW, bitch!") by Gail, and she tries ANOTHER rana, but Tracy sends her to the outside, where Victoria beats both girls up to force a DCOR at 5:29. Yecch. 1/2* Both girls get Widow's Peaks after the match. And need I mention that they retooled her AGAIN? Can they make up their mind?

- Kane v. Scott Hall. DDP plays up Hall's friendship to Michaels, even referencing DX's attempts to get fired. CONTINUITY~! Kane no-sells Hall's shots to start, and Hall eats boot no a charge. Kane boxes Hall's ears, but as Hall slumps down, he goes low to get a breather. Second-rope bulldog for Hall, and he slaps Kane around (genius). Hall sends Kane to the outside, but while there, Kane tosses him into the STEEL steps. Back in, press slam gets two. Hall wiggles out of the Tombstone and cradles for two. Short clothesline by Hall, but he tries the Edge near the ropes and gets sent out. Kane brings him back in with a chokeslam for two. Hall slips out of the Burning Hammer and gets a half-hour suplex for two. Way too much offense for Hall here. Hall peppers Kane, finally flooring him with a right cross. Kane sits up and boots down Hall, and a diving clothesline and Tombstone finish at 9:34. * Kane lets us know he thinks of Shawn as one of the popular guys who mock his pain and therefore he has to die. The usual Kane motivation, and nothing I couldn't have guessed, but it's good to know he has a set character now.

- Joey Matthews, Johnny Jeter, and Jackie Gayda v. Nick Mondo, Tommy Dreamer, and Stacy Keibler. It's a pier-six to start, and the heels get the early advantage. Jeter and Dreamer start it proper as Jeter nails Dreamer with a Hotshot. Dropkick to the face by Jeter, and in comes Matthews. Matthews hits some CLUBBING FOREARMS, then a spin kick for two. Jeter DDTs Dreamer out of a fireman's carry by Matthews, which is a hella cool move they should've saved for the finish. Jeter misses the super spinkick, but Dreamer can't make the tag. German suplex by Jeter, then in comes Matthews. Matthews hits a missile dropkick on Dreamer off a Jeter whip (another decent double-team) for two. If I'm making this match sound fun, sorry, that's not my intention. The match is totally disjointed and the heels have no clue how to hold it together. Jackie enters and tries using the SIVE SEVEN OF DOOM, but Dreamer sidesteps, hot tag Mondo. Mondo makes the same mistake any babyface makes when they've trapped a heel manager -- look to the crowd for approval -- and Matthews cuts him off to start the melee. DDT by Dreamer, but Jeter gets a springboard clothesline. Dreamer Driver on Jeter as Mondo goes up, but Matthews shoves him off into a table that Mondo fished out earlier. Matthews sends Dreamer into the corner, and a second fireman's DDT combo gets the pin at 11:09. Jeter and Matthews are SO not ready for prime time right now. 1/2*

- Molly promises to win for women everywhere. She tells Chynna to stay away or she'll get it too.

- Christopher Nowinski v. Booker T. Hey, remember when this was a match for the I-C title at SummerSlam? My, how the mighty have fallen. Nowinski fakes a clean break to start, then trips Booker up and indicates how smart he is. Booker unloads with STREET VIOLENCE (do they chop each other in the back alleys?) and an elbowsmash and kneedrop. Nowinski with a chop block to recover, and a slam gets two. Slugfest, won by Booker. Crescent kick gets two. Nowinski begs off, but that's a setup for the Flair Pin for two. DDT by Booker gets two. To the top, but Long trips Booker and Nowinski gets a belly-to-belly superplex for two. I smell Cornette booking here. Corner clothesline and flapjack get two. Nowinski strikes him a few times and tries again. Still two. Booker reverses a suplex, and a missile dropkick gets two. HUGE chop by Booker, and the scissors kick and Spinaroonie follow. Nowinski ducks the leg lariat, and it's a low blow, handful of tights, and feet on the ropes for the pin at 9:43. CHEAT TO WIN~! Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling, and Nowinski has obviously learned how to play heel. **

- Main event, World heavyweight title: Rhyno v. Chris Jericho. Jericho proclaims that there's no way Rhyno can beat him into submission. Rhyno enters as we take a break pre-match. We return and start with a staredown, and Jericho punches away and hits a dropkick. Jericho tries to break Rhyno's nose, which allows him to hit the facebuster, but the Lionsault gets knees. Rhyno works the leg, which is great because even the marks remember Jericho's leg injury. Leg slam by Rhyno, then a shinbreaker. On the outside, Rhyno press slams Jericho leg-first onto the guardrail. Back in, Jericho stops a legbar with a rollup for two. Enzuigiri by Jericho, but that hurts his leg on the landing. Rhyno charges, but Jericho is ready and Rhyno flies to the outside, buying Jericho time to recover. Back in, Jericho gets a DDT for two. Rude Awakening for two, as Jericho works the neck. And it works, because Rhyno's GOAR GOAR GOAR only gets two due to Rhyno trying to fix his own neck. Rhyno throws the ref aside on the count and returns with the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT. He smacks Jericho with it, then threatens to bring it down on Jericho's leg when HHH returns to bury both men. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE to Rhyno, but Jericho takes offense and clips HHH, working on his quad. Rhyno with a GOAR GOAR GOAR to Jericho as everyone's down and it's a Sportz Entertainment Finish at 13:00 or so. Clearly they weren't going to have a clean winner here, but man, this is begging for a rematch down the line, because the crowd was nuclear. **1/2 Uncle Eric makes a three-way at Badd Blood, certain Rhyno will cripple somebody and he doesn't care who.

The Bottom Line:

Lots of experimentation this week as the build-up to Badd Blood is almost set. I guess they want to hold Y2J/Rhyno off for SummerSlam, which means that HHH will either win or lose at Badd Blood (i.e., he's in the fall either way). Christian is absolutely stealing the show this time around, and the bad things (Victoria's inconsistent character and the brutally bad six-person) are minor issues anyway.

Oh, and believe me, I'm thrilled to have HHH back. That was sarcasm, of course.

*****

May 25, 2004

WO.com

* RAW officials are still debating which match should be the main event of Badd Blood. While the heat appears to be squarely on Christian/Molly, there are fears that the I-C title could be perceived as more valuable than the World title. Further, HHH is lobbying to be in the main event on his return, and many in the back feel it isn't a bad idea.

* The Beastie Boys have been confirmed for an appearance on SmackDown! at tonight's taping. They are scheduled to interact with the Right to Censor in order to get them (RTC) over as heels.

* CM Punk has left OVW in order to sign a full-time deal with NWATNA. This leaves Colt Cabana, also in OVW, in a bit of a lurch, as he has almost always been seen as Punk's second banana.

* The current plan for Tazz's return is to have it be by Vengeance. He is almost completely back in game shape, and vignettes are being filmed talking about Tazz going to his roots. The WWE is even considering having an OVW talent get repackaged as one of Tazz's buddies from Red Hook.

* OVW talent Tony Stradlin tore his bicep in practice yesterday. He is expected to be out 3-4 months.

* Jim Cornette will be behind the mic on this week's SmackDown! Michael Cole received high marks from the WWE management for his handling of Judgment Day, but even the WWE knows that he isn't capable of calling a show by himself. "It takes someone special to be able to handle both halves of commentary," a WWE official told us, "and Michael Cole may be good, but he's not that good."

* With John Layfield currently making cameos on CNBC, there is pressure from Vince McMahon to give the APA more exposure. The writing staff is unsure how to handle this, since right now they are a midcard veteran tag team who are unable to sustain crowd response.

* Torrie Wilson is expected to be Undertaker's full-time manager, playing the role Paul Bearer made famous. On his website, Bearer gave the idea his blessing, stating that the Deadman needs the urn, and that he is enjoying retirement too much to come back.

* The WWE's prime time special on ABC, set for June 27th, is expected to be a SmackDown! show, to help build issues for Vengeance. No word on what the format of the show will be yet.

*****

May 27, 2004

WWE.com

Another blockbuster tag team main event and a super-special guest appearance highlight another blockbuster edition of WWE SmackDown!, tonight at 8 / 7 Central on UPN!

After last week's main event was interrupted by Team Angle, it appears the tag champions and their #1 contenders have struck a temporary alliance. They'd better hope it holds, because GM Piper has assigned them to a huge main event -- it's Team Angle and Brock Lesnar against the Maximos, the Filthy Animals, and the Undertaker! Who will prevail in this wild affair?

It's official: UPN's gonna fight for their right to party! Influential and legendary rap group the Beastie Boys will be making a special appearance on SmackDown! Though it is unconfirmed what they'll be doing, we know that this rap trio from the 5 boroughs is ready to make things rock! Tune in to catch them in action!

After a less-than-impressive title defense against Road Dogg, Matt Hardy says he's ready for the next step up, and wants to defend against the best there is! Enter the WWE's resident superhero, Hurricane, to fill the void! Will the sensei of Mattitude realize he's bitten off more than he can chew, or will he prevail against his Hurri-foe? Tune in tonight!

All this and more -- including the return of Jim Cornette -- tonight on SmackDown! Be sure to Smack Your TV at 8 / 7 Central and catch all the action on UPN!

Edited June 10, 2004 by Dukes

[Jam]

I'm looking forward to Bad Blood, and the card is shaping up superbly. HHH/Jericho/Rhyno could go any way, I can't call it at the minute. HBK and Kane has just picked up, with the reasoning behind it logical. The IC Title match will be phenomal. The build up has been sublime. I can't remember a match this well built in any diary I have read.

The undercard will also look interesting. Orton and Sting will probably fight. There will be a combination of Booker, Hall, Nowinski and Mack, and another combination of Victoria, Alexis, Tracy, Gail and Jazz. Add the probable tag team title match between Jeter/Matthews and Dreamer/Mondo and you have a strong card.

And The Beastie Boys? SD will be off the hook

[nabeel]

RNN was good, and Tracy SHOULD have accepted the offer by the new 60 minute man

[JStarr]

* The current plan for Tazz's return is to have it be by Vengeance.  He is almost completely back in game shape, and vignettes are being filmed talking about Tazz going to his roots.  The WWE is even considering having an OVW talent get repackaged as one of Tazz's buddies from Red Hook.

←

FINALLY!! The legendary and elusive Joey Numbahs!!!! Right?

Jam's right, Badd Blood is looking huge. Christian v. Molly won't be Savage v. Steamboat caliber, but it'll certainly steal the show. HBK/Kane will likely be the disappointment, and I'll go out on a real thin limb and call Rhyno to retain the title...even though history has taught us never to bet against HHH. That's why I'm not betting, though.