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Guest ADDavis

The (WWE) Office: A New Twist

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Guest ADDavis   
Guest ADDavis

FOREWORD:

I was reading a couple news articles about various rumors involving the booking of the WWE, and the ridiculousness of some of it got me thinking...how do these people have jobs? And furthermore, how is some of this stuff getting aired on national television?

National television. Hmm.

My mind was working on caffeine and a breakfast bar this morning when I somehow compared two completely different ideas through one concept - television.

Specifically, I was on the random tangent of thinking how much Vince McMahon is probably like Michael Scott, Steve Carrell's fictional boss character on "The Office" (or Ricky Gervais's David Brent perhaps, for you Brits out there).

Well idea after idea, I slowly pieced together this concept for a diary, and I'm gonna give it a shot. Considering I finally bought TEW, I figured I might as well put it to use.

This diary will mostly be viewing the trials and tribulations of the WWE front office - the writers, agents, and hell, even talent from time to time will be interviewed. The idea is, like the office, there is a camera interviewing people about what is going on, and we'll cut to different events. The shows will be told in a kind of narrative form and might cut to certain comments from those involved, but typically I'm not a good move-by-move match writer and I'd rather focus on the story anyway.

And to get the 'business' out of the way, I'll be starting narrating this diary in week 2 of June, since that'll be when the draft starts and I figure that's a decent enough start.

Without further ado...

--------------------------

the (WWE) office

EPISODE 1 PART 1: Week 2, Day 1

(The camera wobbles into focus as we see Vincent Kennedy McMahon, seated, looking directly into the camera.)

Vince: Is this on?

(The camera nods ‘yes’)

Vince: Good. Now, I like to think of this company as a big playground. See, we all get to have a lot of fun here, whether it be here in Stamford or out in the actual arenas… it’s all a big, fun time. Except it’s a playground that makes us loads of money! *chuckles* … and it’s also a playground that can get people hurt, but mostly it makes us loads of money.

(Pause.)

Vince: The writer’s room is where the magic starts for the company. And your ‘documentary’ started at the perfect time, because it’s DRAFT DAY!

(Cut to Bruce Pritchard.)

Bruce Pritchard: The draft days are pretty fun. Vince likes to go all out, though not as much as firing days for some reason…

(We see Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace walking into the breakroom at WWE headquarters, which has been set up with a big banner reading “
PINKSLIP DAY
”. There ARE snacks and punch, of course.)

Vince:
What the… John! Where the hell are all the balloons, DAMNIT?!

Johnny Ace:
Vince, I tried but the party planning committee kept telling me they were out of helium for the balloons. I shall write up a formal letter of complaint and make sure all the responsible parties are out of this company by the end of the day!

(The two exit as we see Rob Conway sitting at a table all by himself, sobbing uncontrollably.)

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tenaciousg    1,477

This diary is good so far - it's actually made me mark out for Vince McMahon.

Will you actually be doing the shows, or are they an afterthought of sorts to the backstage part?

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Guest Senka Surakei   
Guest Senka Surakei

Oh wow. That made me laugh a lot. I'm not even sure how you'll do shows, but so far, that's hillarious.

Dusty Rhodes = Win.

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thuganomic    120

Not bad, not bad at all. A fun little backstory. I'll be checking back on this. It'll be interesting to see how you do the shows, but definitely keep the little confessionals.

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BuddyAwesome    866

AWESOME concept! I think you might be on to a really intriguing idea. I loved how he didn't knwo what Dusty Rhodes was saying haha.

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M.V.P.    3

Awesome.

When I read this, I get the feel i'm really watching an WWE version of The Office, you've quite captured the atmosphere.

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Lord Nibbler    105

Yeah, this is pretty well written. It would have been very easy to fuck it up and try too hard to be funny, but you did a good job.

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Ross87    171

Awesome.

Very original concept, I'd urge you to continue with WWE meets The Office style used in your first post.

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Fantastic idea, I'd love to see the little cut in "ala The Office" interviews even during shows.. funny, funny, funny stuff.

The bit with the hat and drawing names had me laughing, heh.

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Guest ADDavis   
Guest ADDavis

Episode 1 Part 2

WWE RAW: The Draft Edition

June: 2nd Week

Raw opens with a video taking us back to the John Cena/Great Khali match at One Night Stand, and the subsequent triple threat WWE Title match last week between the two and Umaga. (B+)

As Raw then opened, emanating LIVE from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, Shane McMahon made his way out alone. He was his usual cocky, charismatic self, but when he got on the microphone, he was all business about tonight.

He proceeded to hype up the draft tonight, but his first order of business was actually two men – the WWE Champion John Cena and the new ECW champion Bobby Lashley. Shane claimed that both of these individuals have caused his father to go into a near-catatonic state, and Shane claimed that Vince was not there tonight for that very reason. Tonight, Lashley and Cena would face their punishment – the Great Khali and Umaga, in a tag match tonight! (B)

Suddenly, the car crash noise hit the PA, leading to the fans going wild for the return of Mick Foley to Raw! However, Mick wasn’t here to talk about RAW. He was here to talk about his new brand – ECW! See, by way of a “contractual loophole”, Mick Foley hadn’t actually been fired from the WWE by Mr. McMahon, just Raw! So when the Draft came about, he was eligible as a ‘free agent’, and ended up being drawn as ECW’s first draft pick and its new General Manager!

Brian Gerwitz:
Yeah, we knew that ECW was getting the shaft during this draft, so we tried to shield the blow a bit. Mick Foley was sitting around collecting dust. It seemed like a decent idea at the time…though how did he name himself general manager?

(Pause.)

Brian Gerwitz:
… Eh, no one will pick up on that.
Edited by ADDavis

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Guest Pop-A-Dip   
Guest Pop-A-Dip

Haha, I was thinking 'bout writing one with a "Office Space" theme, but you saved me the time :pervert: . In all seriousness though, great job on the backstage segments and stuff like that. You get all the characters voices right on. Pop-A-Dip = a reader.

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Guest ADDavis   
Guest ADDavis

Episode 2

June, Week 2

ECW on Sci Fi

The show started…

Davis:
…okay, you know what, this one… it wasn’t worth talking about.

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Guest Senka Surakei   
Guest Senka Surakei

My favorite part of the two shows had to be the Vince - Stephanie segment about Triple H, just because of the CM Punk thing. That was hillarious. XD

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spectre    1

lol, great diary. I'm loving the behind-the-scene stuff

keep up the occasional *earlier that day* stuff :D

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Katsuya    2,863

Oh my god, this has actually made me laugh out loud. Especially that last bit with Orton and Boogeyman.

The writing is very good, and the interludes with Stephanie being the complete opposite of what Vince wants her to be are very funny. Keep it up, and let's hope this doesn't go stale.

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The last big with Orton was priceless.. but this had me laughing harder for some reason.

Dusty Rhodes: The newetht th-upathtah’ to come to Tuethday Nighth ith gonna put good ol’ Bobbay Lathley up on the top uh’ the mapth, if you weeeeell….

Dave Lagana: Dusty, man, it’s fine if you want to stop talking in that voice now…

Dusty Rhodes: Whatcha’ mean, Tonay Schiaaaavonay??

Dave Lagana: I’ve been telling you for the last year now, my name is DAVE!

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Guest ADDavis   
Guest ADDavis

Episode 3 Part 1

June, Week 3

Monday, before Raw.

(Cut to new WWE writing staff intern, Andrew Davis.)

Andrew Davis: When I came into work today, plans were being ironed out for Raw for later in the evening, but I was surprised that there was a lengthy discussion going on about workers being called up and, well, they were interesting to say the least.

Dave Lagana:
NO. There’s no way I’m writing that!

Stephanie:
You’re doing it, because Daddy already got the first hype video produced and Daddy does NOT like wasting money on failed gimmicks!

(Somewhere out there, the guy that played Muhammad Hassan is crying inside.)

Lagana:
Who in their right mind could get a gimmick like
THAT
over though??

Stephanie:
That’s your job, so figure it out!

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Guest Mr. Potato Head   
Guest Mr. Potato Head

I've never seen a diary like this before.

Which, coming from Andrew Davis, means I'm likely overlooking something. :shifty:

Good work though, keep it up. (Y)

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nufan    241

someone they are bringing back from the attitude era... my guess immediately is goldust!

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Guest Pop-A-Dip   
Guest Pop-A-Dip

I am going to go with either Goldust or Shamrock. Shamrock just jumped to my mind for some reason.

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Guest ADDavis   
Guest ADDavis

*NOTE: I'm gonna try doing something different with formatting, since with TEW, there are SO MANY SEGMENTS you have to book to fill time. Seriously. I kind of miss using EWR for a diary...*

Episode 3 Part 2

WWE RAW

June: 3rd Week

-The show opened with a video recapping last week’s draft, and the “vicious” attack on John Cena done by new Raw draftee Mark Henry. (B-.)

-The announcers, Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler; talked about the main event tonight, where John Cena and Chris Benoit would team up to face “The Samoan Bulldozer” Umaga and Randy Orton ! (B+.)

-The Coach down to the ring to hype up tonight’s event, as well as announcing a World Tag Team Championship rematch this evening between the Hardys and The Redneck Wrecking Crew (which Cade and Murdoch are finally being referred to as). (C.)

-As Coach started discussing the main event situation on Raw, Randy Orton interrupted and claimed that he had been looked aside time and time again in the Raw title scene, and he has proven in the past few weeks after taking out countless ‘legends’ that he should be the number one contender. Before Coach could respond…(B+.)

-...Out came Chris Benoit, who attacked Orton after Orton assaulted him last week. Benoit nearly locked in the Crossface, but Orton escaped and run off before any more damage could be done. (B+.)

-We then got a recap of last week’s open challenge by the World’s Greatest Tag Team, and the subsequent answering by new Raw tag team, The Hooligans. (D+.)

-The rematch from last week of these two teams then took place, and it was once again a well put-together, formulaic tag bout. After Kendrick got picked apart for most of the match, London got the hot tag and the two ended up using their speed to once more keep Shelton Benjamin on the outside as London hit a tornado DDT on Haas for the win. (C.)

-Maria was backstage with “The Silverback” Mark Henry, who explained that while Cena’s wins over Umaga and The Great Khali were impressive, that he’s never tried to slam the World’s Strongest Man. He then challenged Cena for his WWE Title, claiming that there’s no one else on Raw as dominant as the Silverback. (D+.)

-We saw a hype video for Umaga, showing his past accomplishments and victims.(B+.)

Brian Gerwitz:
…yeah, I lost the office bet about how long it’d take for me to run out of ideas for Umaga.

Michael Hayes:
…you can keep him on Raw, bud...

Dave Lagana:
Ooooh ooh can he go to ECW?

Brian Gerwitz:
If I wanted to bury him, I’d rather job him out to Eugene than send him to ECW.

(Awkward silence.)

Dave Lagana:
…you sure?

Brian Gerwitz:
POSITIVE.

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TGC    1,310

Okay way to take a tried and true concept like a modern day WWE Diary and making it one of the most inventive, fun, and funny diaries in The Dome. Kudos on a job very well done, and I can't wait for more.

Overall Diary Grade A-

Edited by Leif TGCassidy

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Guest ADDavis   
Guest ADDavis

Episode 3 Part 3

ECW on Sci-Fi

June: 3rd Week

-ECW began with the new ECW General Manager, Mick Foley, coming out and talking about the new ‘era’ of extreme that was about to take place now that the draft has come and gone. He hypes the fact that there will be plenty of new signings taking place in the coming week, as ECW will be a showcase to some of the hottest new talent that the WWE has to offer. However, with talent comes the need for incentive. Foley, ever the crowd pleaser, talked about his background with ECW and his memories of a second title in the ‘old’ ECW, the ECW Television Title. He then said that he was going to bring the title back, effective immediately, with the champion defending the belt every week on ECW on Sci Fi, with a twist – each title defense would be under Extreme Rules!

Foley then went on to say that tonight, four men would face off in the beginning of a tournament with the finals occurring next week. Tonight, in addition to seeing a main event of Bobby Lashley facing The Great Khali in a non title bout, we’d see the two first round (or semi-finals?) matches: the newly-turned-heel Sean Morley versus ECW Original The Sandman, and Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer. Both matches, of course, would be under Extreme Rules! (C-.)

-The latter was the first match of the show, with Dreamer facing Thorn. Of late, Thorn hasn’t had much direction (nor popularity) since leaving the New Breed and losing Ariel…

Andrew Davis:
Hey, Vince…you know, if you want to get Kevin Thorn over, you should just rehire Ariel…

Vince:
… who?

Davis:
You don’t remember? You just fired her…she was Thorn’s valet.

Vince:
The gothic chick with the weird fangs? …

(Pause.)

Vince: I thought she was just some nutjob fan from the crowd.

(Pause.)

Vince: …with very large, round …

(Pause.)

Vince:
… I fired her?

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