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The (WWE) Office: A New Twist


Guest ADDavis

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Guest ADDavis

FOREWORD:

I was reading a couple news articles about various rumors involving the booking of the WWE, and the ridiculousness of some of it got me thinking...how do these people have jobs? And furthermore, how is some of this stuff getting aired on national television?

National television. Hmm.

My mind was working on caffeine and a breakfast bar this morning when I somehow compared two completely different ideas through one concept - television.

Specifically, I was on the random tangent of thinking how much Vince McMahon is probably like Michael Scott, Steve Carrell's fictional boss character on "The Office" (or Ricky Gervais's David Brent perhaps, for you Brits out there).

Well idea after idea, I slowly pieced together this concept for a diary, and I'm gonna give it a shot. Considering I finally bought TEW, I figured I might as well put it to use.

This diary will mostly be viewing the trials and tribulations of the WWE front office - the writers, agents, and hell, even talent from time to time will be interviewed. The idea is, like the office, there is a camera interviewing people about what is going on, and we'll cut to different events. The shows will be told in a kind of narrative form and might cut to certain comments from those involved, but typically I'm not a good move-by-move match writer and I'd rather focus on the story anyway.

And to get the 'business' out of the way, I'll be starting narrating this diary in week 2 of June, since that'll be when the draft starts and I figure that's a decent enough start.

Without further ado...

--------------------------

the (WWE) office

EPISODE 1 PART 1: Week 2, Day 1

(The camera wobbles into focus as we see Vincent Kennedy McMahon, seated, looking directly into the camera.)

Vince: Is this on?

(The camera nods ‘yes’)

Vince: Good. Now, I like to think of this company as a big playground. See, we all get to have a lot of fun here, whether it be here in Stamford or out in the actual arenas… it’s all a big, fun time. Except it’s a playground that makes us loads of money! *chuckles* … and it’s also a playground that can get people hurt, but mostly it makes us loads of money.

(Pause.)

Vince: The writer’s room is where the magic starts for the company. And your ‘documentary’ started at the perfect time, because it’s DRAFT DAY!

(Cut to Bruce Pritchard.)

Bruce Pritchard: The draft days are pretty fun. Vince likes to go all out, though not as much as firing days for some reason…

(We see Vince McMahon and Johnny Ace walking into the breakroom at WWE headquarters, which has been set up with a big banner reading “
PINKSLIP DAY
”. There ARE snacks and punch, of course.)

Vince:
What the… John! Where the hell are all the balloons, DAMNIT?!

Johnny Ace:
Vince, I tried but the party planning committee kept telling me they were out of helium for the balloons. I shall write up a formal letter of complaint and make sure all the responsible parties are out of this company by the end of the day!

(The two exit as we see Rob Conway sitting at a table all by himself, sobbing uncontrollably.)
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Guest Senka Surakei

Oh wow. That made me laugh a lot. I'm not even sure how you'll do shows, but so far, that's hillarious.

Dusty Rhodes = Win.

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Guest ADDavis

Episode 1 Part 2

WWE RAW: The Draft Edition

June: 2nd Week

Raw opens with a video taking us back to the John Cena/Great Khali match at One Night Stand, and the subsequent triple threat WWE Title match last week between the two and Umaga. (B+)

As Raw then opened, emanating LIVE from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, Shane McMahon made his way out alone. He was his usual cocky, charismatic self, but when he got on the microphone, he was all business about tonight.

He proceeded to hype up the draft tonight, but his first order of business was actually two men – the WWE Champion John Cena and the new ECW champion Bobby Lashley. Shane claimed that both of these individuals have caused his father to go into a near-catatonic state, and Shane claimed that Vince was not there tonight for that very reason. Tonight, Lashley and Cena would face their punishment – the Great Khali and Umaga, in a tag match tonight! (B)

Suddenly, the car crash noise hit the PA, leading to the fans going wild for the return of Mick Foley to Raw! However, Mick wasn’t here to talk about RAW. He was here to talk about his new brand – ECW! See, by way of a “contractual loophole”, Mick Foley hadn’t actually been fired from the WWE by Mr. McMahon, just Raw! So when the Draft came about, he was eligible as a ‘free agent’, and ended up being drawn as ECW’s first draft pick and its new General Manager!

Brian Gerwitz:
Yeah, we knew that ECW was getting the shaft during this draft, so we tried to shield the blow a bit. Mick Foley was sitting around collecting dust. It seemed like a decent idea at the time…though how did he name himself general manager?

(Pause.)

Brian Gerwitz:
… Eh, no one will pick up on that.
Edited by ADDavis
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Guest Pop-A-Dip

Haha, I was thinking 'bout writing one with a "Office Space" theme, but you saved me the time :pervert: . In all seriousness though, great job on the backstage segments and stuff like that. You get all the characters voices right on. Pop-A-Dip = a reader.

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Guest ADDavis

Episode 2

June, Week 2

ECW on Sci Fi

The show started…

Davis:
…okay, you know what, this one… it wasn’t worth talking about.

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Guest Senka Surakei

My favorite part of the two shows had to be the Vince - Stephanie segment about Triple H, just because of the CM Punk thing. That was hillarious. XD

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Oh my god, this has actually made me laugh out loud. Especially that last bit with Orton and Boogeyman.

The writing is very good, and the interludes with Stephanie being the complete opposite of what Vince wants her to be are very funny. Keep it up, and let's hope this doesn't go stale.

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The last big with Orton was priceless.. but this had me laughing harder for some reason.

Dusty Rhodes: The newetht th-upathtah’ to come to Tuethday Nighth ith gonna put good ol’ Bobbay Lathley up on the top uh’ the mapth, if you weeeeell….

Dave Lagana: Dusty, man, it’s fine if you want to stop talking in that voice now…

Dusty Rhodes: Whatcha’ mean, Tonay Schiaaaavonay??

Dave Lagana: I’ve been telling you for the last year now, my name is DAVE!

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Guest ADDavis

Episode 3 Part 1

June, Week 3

Monday, before Raw.

(Cut to new WWE writing staff intern, Andrew Davis.)

Andrew Davis: When I came into work today, plans were being ironed out for Raw for later in the evening, but I was surprised that there was a lengthy discussion going on about workers being called up and, well, they were interesting to say the least.

Dave Lagana:
NO. There’s no way I’m writing that!

Stephanie:
You’re doing it, because Daddy already got the first hype video produced and Daddy does NOT like wasting money on failed gimmicks!

(Somewhere out there, the guy that played Muhammad Hassan is crying inside.)

Lagana:
Who in their right mind could get a gimmick like
THAT
over though??

Stephanie:
That’s your job, so figure it out!
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Guest Mr. Potato Head

I've never seen a diary like this before.

Which, coming from Andrew Davis, means I'm likely overlooking something. :shifty:

Good work though, keep it up. (Y)

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someone they are bringing back from the attitude era... my guess immediately is goldust!

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