The (WWE) Office: A New Twist

[Guest Pop-A-Dip]

I am going to go with either Goldust or Shamrock. Shamrock just jumped to my mind for some reason.

[Guest ADDavis]

*NOTE: I'm gonna try doing something different with formatting, since with TEW, there are SO MANY SEGMENTS you have to book to fill time. Seriously. I kind of miss using EWR for a diary...*

Episode 3 Part 2

WWE RAW

June: 3rd Week

-The show opened with a video recapping last week’s draft, and the “vicious” attack on John Cena done by new Raw draftee Mark Henry. (B-.)

-The announcers, Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler; talked about the main event tonight, where John Cena and Chris Benoit would team up to face “The Samoan Bulldozer” Umaga and Randy Orton ! (B+.)

-The Coach down to the ring to hype up tonight’s event, as well as announcing a World Tag Team Championship rematch this evening between the Hardys and The Redneck Wrecking Crew (which Cade and Murdoch are finally being referred to as). (C.)

-As Coach started discussing the main event situation on Raw, Randy Orton interrupted and claimed that he had been looked aside time and time again in the Raw title scene, and he has proven in the past few weeks after taking out countless ‘legends’ that he should be the number one contender. Before Coach could respond…(B+.)

-...Out came Chris Benoit, who attacked Orton after Orton assaulted him last week. Benoit nearly locked in the Crossface, but Orton escaped and run off before any more damage could be done. (B+.)

-We then got a recap of last week’s open challenge by the World’s Greatest Tag Team, and the subsequent answering by new Raw tag team, The Hooligans. (D+.)

-The rematch from last week of these two teams then took place, and it was once again a well put-together, formulaic tag bout. After Kendrick got picked apart for most of the match, London got the hot tag and the two ended up using their speed to once more keep Shelton Benjamin on the outside as London hit a tornado DDT on Haas for the win. (C.)

-Maria was backstage with “The Silverback” Mark Henry, who explained that while Cena’s wins over Umaga and The Great Khali were impressive, that he’s never tried to slam the World’s Strongest Man. He then challenged Cena for his WWE Title, claiming that there’s no one else on Raw as dominant as the Silverback. (D+.)

-We saw a hype video for Umaga, showing his past accomplishments and victims.(B+.)

Brian Gerwitz:

…yeah, I lost the office bet about how long it’d take for me to run out of ideas for Umaga.

Michael Hayes:

…you can keep him on Raw, bud...

Dave Lagana:

Ooooh ooh can he go to ECW?

Brian Gerwitz:

If I wanted to bury him, I’d rather job him out to Eugene than send him to ECW.

(Awkward silence.)

Dave Lagana:

…you sure?

Brian Gerwitz:

POSITIVE.

[TGC]

Okay way to take a tried and true concept like a modern day WWE Diary and making it one of the most inventive, fun, and funny diaries in The Dome. Kudos on a job very well done, and I can't wait for more.

Overall Diary Grade A-

Edited June 11, 2007 by Leif TGCassidy

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 3 Part 3

ECW on Sci-Fi

June: 3rd Week

-ECW began with the new ECW General Manager, Mick Foley, coming out and talking about the new ‘era’ of extreme that was about to take place now that the draft has come and gone. He hypes the fact that there will be plenty of new signings taking place in the coming week, as ECW will be a showcase to some of the hottest new talent that the WWE has to offer. However, with talent comes the need for incentive. Foley, ever the crowd pleaser, talked about his background with ECW and his memories of a second title in the ‘old’ ECW, the ECW Television Title. He then said that he was going to bring the title back, effective immediately, with the champion defending the belt every week on ECW on Sci Fi, with a twist – each title defense would be under Extreme Rules!

Foley then went on to say that tonight, four men would face off in the beginning of a tournament with the finals occurring next week. Tonight, in addition to seeing a main event of Bobby Lashley facing The Great Khali in a non title bout, we’d see the two first round (or semi-finals?) matches: the newly-turned-heel Sean Morley versus ECW Original The Sandman, and Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer. Both matches, of course, would be under Extreme Rules! (C-.)

-The latter was the first match of the show, with Dreamer facing Thorn. Of late, Thorn hasn’t had much direction (nor popularity) since leaving the New Breed and losing Ariel…

Andrew Davis:

Hey, Vince…you know, if you want to get Kevin Thorn over, you should just rehire Ariel…

Vince:

… who?

Davis:

You don’t remember? You just fired her…she was Thorn’s valet.

Vince:

The gothic chick with the weird fangs? …

(Pause.)

Vince: I thought she was just some nutjob fan from the crowd.

(Pause.)

Vince: …with very large, round …

(Pause.)

Vince:

… I fired her?

[BuddyAwesome]

Modest & Morgan debuting is pretty cool. I hope you'll be using their border patrol gimmick!

[Guest ADDavis]

The following portion of this episode (barring the epilogue) has little to no actual cutaway content.

Viewer discretion is advised.

...

...

I'll make it up to you, eventually.

Episode 3 Part 4

Friday Night SmackDown

June: 3rd Week

- On last week’s show, Edge deemed Batista an ‘unworthy’ challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship, and taunted the Animal this week as he opened SmackDown with an edition of “The Cutting Edge”. An unscheduled guest – Batista- soon arrived, telling Edge that he was sick of the ‘games’. Last week, three new SmackDown draftees (Carlito, Dykstra, and Nitro) all attacked Batista, and he claimed he would plow through them if that’s what it takes to get to Edge. This gave Edge an idea. He said that if he could defeat Johnny Nitro tonight, and then Carlito next week, he could face Edge for the title at Vengeance. If Batista lost either of those matches, though, he’d never get a shot at the title ever again! Of course, this led to the new alliance of Carlito, Dykstra, and Nitro ambushing Batista after the Animal accepted the gauntlet challenge, and Carlito told Edge that he wasn’t going to just do his bidding – if the three of them took out Batista, they wanted World Title shots themselves!

Segment Rating (Average): (B+.)

-The opening match was a quick-paced six-man tag pitting Cruiserweight champion Chavo Guerrero, Daivari, and Jamie Noble against Jimmy Wang Yang and the Majors Brothers. The match made the Majors look like a threat and gave them a little room to show a few high-flying maneuvers, but Chavo picked up the win by rolling up Brian Majors, and once more gloated about being the ‘World’s Greatest Cruiserweight’ after the match.

Match Rating: (D.)

-MVP once more defended the United States Title, this week against former Intercontinental champion Santino Marella. Before the match, Santino promised to make even a bigger splash on SmackDown, hoping one day to even be World Heavyweight Champion. His quest, however, would not start here. MVP used his arrogance and athletic prowess to his advantage, picking up a decisive win against the young Marella. After the match, MVP claimed that no one on SmackDown could stop his momentum, and he issued an open challenge to anyone on the roster to try to take him down next week!

Match Rating: (C+.)

-In a rematch from last week, Finlay defeated Matt Striker in an entertaining and well-developed matchup. Striker seemed to be becoming groomed for an entertaining midcard heel spot on SmackDown, but he was simply used as a springboard for Finlay's new face turn project in this matchup.

Match Rating: (B.)

-Cryme Time made their SmackDown debuts against WWE Tag Team Champions, Deuce and Domino. The two gimmick teams actually meshed decently together, with Cryme Time mocking the ‘greasers’ and stealing their leather jackets before the match started. The match itself was formulaic but entertaining, and it ended when Cherry caught the referee’s attention after throwing Deuce one of the tag belts, leading to JTG using the belt to hit Deuce before disposing of the weapon and picking up the pin for his team! It was then announced that next week, Cryme Time would get their Tag Title shot! (C.)

-CM Punk faced Kenny Dykstra in a battle between two up-and-coming stars on SmackDown. Dykstra had Johnny Nitro at ringside, but Nitro was soon ejected from the ringside area. The two had a very competitive bout and ended after Dykstra missed the leg drop from the top rope. One “Go To Sleep” later, and victory belonged to Punk! After the match, however, Punk was attacked by Carlito and Nitro, as the Young Guns (the name they would be referred to starting tonight) took out yet another member of the roster. This development led to Ric Flair challenging Carlito to a match, wanting to teach the young upstart a lesson once and for all!

Match rating: (B.)

-Backstage, William Regal and Dave Taylor were discussing the World Tag Title situation – or perhaps the weather?- when they were approached by a familiar face, though one who has never been seen on WWE TV before. The man introduced himself as Glenn Gilberti, Manager of CHAMPIONS! He then told Regal and Taylor that, for a small price, he’d be willing to back them and take them from ‘nobodies’ to ‘somebodies’ in no time. Regal scoffed at the offer, and asked, “Didn’t you used to be the rapscallion who danced to disco music?” The two blue bloods then chuckled as they walked off, leaving Gilberti in a huff! (D+.)

-Batista faced Young Guns member Johnny Nitro, with the stipulation being that a loss to Nitro would cause him to never be eligible for a World Heavyweight Title shot ever again! The referee made sure Nitro had neither of his partners, nor Edge, in his corner for the match. While Nitro used his flashy, quick offense to keep Batista unbalanced, the Animal used his power to control the match, taking care of Nitro after a Batista Bomb for the pinfall victory.

Match rating: (B-.)

-In the main event, Ric Flair’s challenge to Carlito had apparently been accepted, and Flair came down to the ring with Torrie Wilson – apparently re-igniting a part of their Raw feud. Carlito came to the ring alone, and seemed to hold his own against the Nature Boy. Late in the match, Nitro and Dykstra did come down to the ring and grabbed Torrie, getting Flair’s attention as well as official Charles Robinson. As Robinson went outside to eject Nitro and Dykstra, Edge made his final appearance for the evening, spearing Flair out of nowhere and allowing Carlito to get the pinfall victory! Batista ran out to make the save, but Edge and the Young Guns quickly retreated as the Animal tended to his former mentor.

Match rating: (B+.)

Show Rating: (B+.)

--------

Andrew Davis had been working with the SmackDown and ECW writing teams, and some of the effects were being built into place…

Andrew Davis:

My goal is to get some of the underappreciated guys on the roster some spotlight, possibly elevating them to some of the spots that were empty after all the injuries. With a strong group like the Young Guns, or even a guy like Sean Morley turning his career around, fans might start actually showing reactions when these guys show up on television…

[spectre]

Haha, another few great entries. I really am loving this concept. Each person you do behind the scenes seems realistic in that slapstick way, if you know what i mean.

Keep up the good work

[Boogey131]

Have to say I have enjoyed the last few entries. As a huge Office fan, I thought this would try to be The Office too much but it has its merits for being a nice blend of wrestling and comedy, without ever feeling like it's trying too hard.

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 4 Part 1

WWE RAW

June: 4th Week

Well, WWE Vengeance was coming up, and the writing staff was ever so excited for it.

Stephanie:

Daddy.

Vince:

Yes, sugarplum?

Stephanie:

I don't

WANT

to book a pay-per-view this weekend!!

Johnny Ace:

You know, if she doesn't want to...

Vince:

John, be quiet. You know that's not your job.

Shane:

Yo! Pops!

Vince:

SHANE! What did I tell you?!? Go outside and play with your pogs!!

Shane:

... yes sir.

Andrew Davis:

(listening) ...

he still has those things???

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 4 Part 2

ECW on Sci-Fi

June: 4th Week

-ECW started off with Vince McMahon being rolled out in a wheelchair to the ringside area, where he received a microphone. Still in his crazed state, he said that he had been hearing voices all week telling him to punish Bobby Lashley, and tonight would be Lashley’s day of reckoning. He told him that tonight, he’d face The Great Khali for the ECW Title in an Extreme Rules bout, and when all was said and done, McMahon may find solace and finally be able to live a normal live. Lashley came out, however, reminding Vince of his deal – if Lashley won the match, he’d get a shot at McMahon at Vengeance, and he said that tonight he’s going to enjoy seeing the expression on Vince’s face when he realizes the mistake he has made!

Segment rating: (C+.)

-In the first match of the evening, Kevin Thorn faced ECW Original The Sandman. While both men lost their matches last week in the ECW Television Title tournament, they both fought for their own pride here. However, the singles match environment proved to be a detriment to Sandman, who went to use his Singapore cane but was stopped by ECW official Mike Posey. As Posey went to dispose of the cane, Thorn used his own black cane to knock out Sandman, and threw it out of the ring before the official turned around. Thorn then set Sandman up for the Dark Kiss and picked up the win.

Match rating: (C-.)

-Backstage, Steven Richards was being hyped up for his match by his new “friends”, Donnie Morgan and Mike Modest. Donnie and Mike claimed that they were “The World’s Biggest Stevie Fans” and traveled all the world following his great career. They then told Stevie that he was destined to not be a followed any longer – he was going to be a LEADER. Well, he started this newfound road to leadership by facing Balls Mahoney, and while the popular Mahoney was on a hot streak in the match, Modest and Morgan turned the tides by distracting the ref long enough for Richards to hit a low blow leading to the Stevie Kick. One pinfall later and Richards had picked up his first win in a long time!

Match rating: (D+.)

Segment Ratings: Stevie’s Angels hype up Richards (D-.)

-Mick Foley hyped up the next match, which would determine the new ECW Television Champion. ECW stalwart Tommy Dreamer faced Sean Morley, formerly of Val Venis fame. Morley once more denounced the ‘extreme’ style, but said he’d show Dreamer the definition of violence. Dreamer took note of that as he attacked Morley right from the start, brawling all over the arena with him! Morley eventually used some cheap tactics to fight his way back, but his lack of experience in these types of matches was nowhere near what Dreamer brought to the table. The two made it back to the ring, where Tommy Dreamer brought out a table looking to put Morley through it. But what he didn’t expect was right behind him…

Joey Styles: Tazz! That…that’s PERRY SATURN!

Saturn, covered in tattoos and a little less recognizable since his last appearance on WWE TV, made his return to the WWE (and ECW) with a chain in hand, decking Dreamer from behind and leaving him lying. Morley seemed to be in on the attack from the get-go, as he ordered Saturn to lift Dreamer up and put him through the table. Saturn obliged, though his use of the Death Valley Driver made some of the creative staff a bit angry…

Perry Saturn:

Wait, you mean I can’t use the DVD?

Dave Lagana:

What’s that?

Saturn:

The Death Valley Driver…

Lagana:

…oh, you mean the F-U?

Saturn:

… (scowls.)

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 4 Part 3

Friday Night SmackDown

June: 4th Week

-The World Heavyweight Champion, Edge, started things off with yet another edition of the Cutting Edge, this time welcoming the Young Guns. Edge hyped up the group, telling them that they were one of the hungriest and most talented groups in the WWE today. He then went on to hype their bouts this evening: Nitro and Dykstra would take on Ric Flair and CM Punk, and Carlito would face Batista. Edge told Carlito that his match would be the ‘most important and defining match’ in his career, though Carlito saw right through it and told Edge that he had made a promise – if Carlito won and took care of Batista for him, he’d get the World Heavyweight Title shot at Vengeance. Before Edge could respond, out came Batista with a chair, clearing the ring as Edge and the Young Guns exited before they could be attacked. Batista tore apart the set, sending a message to all four men.

Segment Ratings: Cutting Edge w/ Young Guns (B.), Batista run-in (B-.)

-The first match was William Regal and Dave Taylor facing the young team of Brian and Brett Majors. While the latter team certainly had energy and determination, they lacked the experience necessary to pull out the win. While the match went on, Glenn Gilberti came out to watch, seemingly not associated to any brand yet. The match then ended when Taylor took out Brett, leaving Brian easy prey for Regal to lock in the Regal Stretch for the victory. Gilberti then started clapping as Regal and Taylor looked on, a little bewildered.

Match rating: (D+.)

Segment Ratings: Gilberti watches (D.)

-Chavo Guerrero came out for a Cruiserweight Title defense, though he did not know exactly who his challenger would be. Well, imagine his surprise when some very familiar music played…

Michael Cole: Hey! That’s Billy Kidman!

JBL: No way! I thought that punk was done forever?!

Kidman made his return to SmackDown and put on quite an action-packed match with Chavo, who fought hard to keep his title in the face of this stunning development. However, whether it was not knowing his opponent or just having an off night, nothing was able to help Chavo out when he attempted a powerbomb but was planted (guess he forgot that no one can powerbomb Kidman!) and pinned for the surprising three count. Chavo then watched on as Kidman celebrated back up the ramp with the Cruiserweight Title in hand, having won it on his first night back!

Match rating: (C+.)

Segment Ratings: Kidman revealed as opponent (C-.)

-And speaking of open challenges, MVP had set one as well last week, stating that no one could top him. Well, one man figured he could – FINLAY. The Belfast Brawler was in for a good fight, and while MVP tried to weasel his way out of the match, Finlay would have it no other way, keeping MVP from leaving the match. Finlay proved why he was one of the best in the business today, elevating MVP’s game in the same vein as Benoit and making MVP look like a huge threat all at the same time. Finlay picked up the win when he hit the Celtic Cross finisher on MVP, but MVP managed to roll out of the ring, only allowing a countout victory for Finlay. Theodore Long then came out and told MVP that he didn’t want any champions backing down, and that he’d be forced to face Finlay at Vengeance in a rematch. If MVP lost by DQ or Countout, he’d be stripped of the title! Needless to say, MVP was clearly not happy.

Match rating: (B-.)

Segment Ratings: Finlay accepts open challenge (C.), Theodore Long makes U.S. Title Match for Vengeance (C+.)

-And yet another title was on the line on this pre-Vengeance SmackDown, as Deuce and Domino defended their WWE Tag Team Titles against Cryme Time. Learning their mistakes from last time, the champions clearly had Cryme Time scouted, though Shad and JTG weren’t going to let that stop them. They came close to beating the ‘retro’ team several times, and even went to use some of the same cheating tactics that they used in the last bout. However, it was Deuce who turned the tables; he ended up making a switch in the ring with his partner, who was the legal man, and rolled up JTG for the pinfall while the ref was occupied with Shad. The ref saw the pin, and counted the three count, giving the champions the win despite the controversy!

Match rating: (D+.)

-Remember the idea that came up in the creative meeting about a certain new gimmick?

…yep, they had a video for a guy who would be named, “The Grizzly Man”.

They showed a clip of a man, out in the wild, following a pack of black bears. He turns to the camera, tells it that no one else in the world knows how to survive in the wild like he does. And soon, very soon, he was going to show that dominating the WWE was just like learning to adapt in the wild: all it takes is survival of the fittest.

…and the man was in a bear suit.

Oh, and for those wondering? The worker was Chris Guy, known to some as former ROH star Ace Steel.

Oh, it was bad.

Segment Ratings: Grizzly Man hype (E+.)

-Well, to top that, Edge came out in a non-title singles bout, facing another former Raw superstar in Santino Marella. The match showcased Marella’s fighting spirit, but Marella was no match for the arrogant champion, who hit the spear and got the pin after the five minute mark. Edge gloated about his victory, hugging his World Championship close to him.

Match rating: (C+.)

-The team of Ric Flair and CM Punk was certainly an odd pairing, but both men had been victims of the Young Guns recently, so they seemed to have an agenda when they faced the team of Nitro and Dykstra. Punk worked well with the older Flair, and the two seemed to have an odd chemistry that made the match even more watchable. This didn’t help them, however, once Carlito came down to ringside, distracting Punk long enough for Nitro to hit him with an enziguiri kick. Flair took out Nitro, but Punk was left all alone as Dykstra went up top and hit the guillotine leg drop and picked up the pinfall victory. After the match, Batista came down to the ring to make the save before Carlito and the Young Guns could attempt a post-match beatdown, and Theodore Long came out to tell Carlito that his match was next! He then added that, at Vengeance, the Young Guns would face three men that they’ve pissed off: Ric Flair, CM Punk, and… well, they’d find out the third man at Vengeance!

Match rating: (B+.)

Segment Ratings: Batista run-in (B-.), Theodore Long makes six man tag for Vengeance (C+.)

-Carlito and Batista started their match right away, and Edge’s words from earlier rung true – this was one of the most important matches in Carlito’s career so far. He worked his ass off and both he and Batista looked like a million bucks. Carlito, despite not having his Young Gun partners down at ringside, was vicious in his attacks, working the back and ribs of Batista in preparation for the Backstabber. The Animal fought back, and after dodging Carlito’s finisher, he pushed Carlito aside and hit a spinebuster that clearly signaled what was to come. One Batista Bomb later, and Batista had earned his shot at the World Title for Vengeance! An angry Edge walked out after the match, holding his title up for Batista to see, but Dave only smiled, possibly foreshadowing things to come!

Match rating: (A*.)

Segment Ratings: Edge post-match (B+.)

Show rating: (C+.)

(Only because someone on the production staff forgot to change the advertisement for the proposed Edge/Nitro vs. Flair/Punk match…Whoops!)

Vince McMahon:

Dunn! What did you screw up?!? YOU’RE FIREEDDDDD!

[Chris the Human]

Absolute class. I'm actually in the middle of a marathon viewing of the entire US Office series, so reading this was like watching another (weird) episode. Andrew Davis just screams Jim Halpert, really. I can even see him taking time out to look down the barrel of the camera. Elements of Ryan there too, though. Is there going to be a Pam Beasly like romance for young Andrew Davis?

To be honest, I'm not following the booking angle as much as I am the excerpts and quotes. It's a really unique, enthralling concept and one you've written to perfection. Some great laugh out loud moments here. Keep it up :-)

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 5

WWE Vengeance 2007

June: 4th Week

Vengeance came by way of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, and was a packed card… six title matches, ten in total (including one non-title tag bout in which Cryme Time defeated Deuce and Domino). While, on paper, the pay per view wouldn’t seem all that significant, some of the talent on the show realized that now was the time to step up in the company, and some would do just that…

WWE United States Title Match

MVP © vs. Finlay

The opening match of Vengeance saw the United States Championship get defended by cocky young Montel Vontavious Porter against the much older, much more experienced Finlay. On SmackDown, MVP was able to run away, but under tonight’s circumstances, if he got counted out or DQed, he’d lose the title.

Of course, while he had certainly picked up a lot of experience in his bouts against Chris Benoit, he wasn’t ready for the mean streak Finlay brought to the table. For every time MVP got a hit in, Finlay would hit twice as hard. So, MVP had to think up a new game plan.

MVP then kept himself away from Finlay, frantically searching under the ring. As Finlay came to the outside, MVP slid underneath the ring apron, and emerged on the other side dragging Hornswoggle by the leg! Finlay’s little friend was trying to push the champion off, and Finlay made the save by clocking MVP on the outside.

Finlay dragged MVP into the ring, and Hornswoggle followed, trying to go after Porter for attacking him under the ring. However, this seemed to be just the distraction MVP needed, as he had grabbed the shilleigh when he was under the ring as well! Finlay turned around and got his signature weapon of choice smashed into his face by the cocky US Champion, who threw out the shilleigh and yelled to the ref to count the cover. Referee Charles Robinson turned around, saw the pinfall, and did what he had to – counted to three. Porter had retained, and had apparently used his knowledge of the “temper of the Irish” to his advantage!

As MVP walked to the back, Finlay recovered, yelling towards the champion that he was a dead man!

Match rating: (B-.)

World Tag Team Title Match

The Redneck Wrecking Crew © vs. The Hardys

These two teams had a heated rivalry behind them, and there was a lot of pride on the line as they faced off with the World Tag Team Titles on the line!

The match showcased Cade and Murdoch’s rough-and-tough brawling style, though the Hardys had seemed to adapt quite well to them, taking the fight right to the champions.

The champions’ strategy was to isolate Jeff, trying to work his legs so that he couldn’t pull off some of his more death-defying moves. They couldn’t keep the two brothers apart for long, as Matt got the hot tag and cleaned house. The Hardys then began hitting their double-team maneuvers on both champions. Eventually, Matt tagged his partner back in, preparing for the Swanton-Guillotine Leg Drop combo. They hit it, which signaled that we’d have new champions! Jeff made the pin on Cade as the fans were on their feet!

1…

2…

-- and the ref caught the chairshot delivered to Matt by Murdoch, and before counting the three yelled down to the timekeeper to ring the bell! Jeff Hardy jumped up when he heard the bell, thinking that the Hardys had won the match and the titles, but he received nothing more than a chairshot to the face by Trevor Murdoch! Murdoch helped his partner up to his feet, as the Hardys were, in fact, declared the winners – but by disqualification! The Redneck Wrecking Crew retreated to the back with their titles, before the Hardys could follow and cause any more damage!

Match rating: (C.)

Open Challenge

Umaga (w/ Armando Alejandro Estrada) vs. ???

Umaga came out next for the special “Open Challenge” that his manager, Armando Estrada, set up this past Monday. Who would dare face the Samoan Bulldozer though?

Would it be a daring Raw superstar?

Or perhaps an opportunistic SmackDown superstar?

Or even … uh… an EXTREME ECW superstar?

The answer, of course, was none of the above.

As Umaga waited and yelled angrily in Samoan, a few familiar words showed up on the Titantron…

THE WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS MAN.

The fans in the Staples Center went nuts as this meant only one thing – the return to the WWE of Ken Shamrock! Shamrock, looking a little more grizzled than his last appearance on TV, showed up ready for a fight, and the Samoan Bulldozer obliged!

The match started, and Shamrock immediately took down Umaga with a Lou-Thesz press, pounding away on the former Intercontinental Champion. Shamrock seemed to be using much of his UFC-hybrid offense (we won’t talk much about his return to UFC, however…) to take down Umaga, though the Samoan fought just as hard, and the result was a stiff match that showed just how much punishment both men could take.

Umaga took control of the match and seemed to have figured out how to take out the World’s Most Dangerous Man, but it was Shamrock’s skill that kept him on his feet. Umaga went for a Samoan splash from the top, but Shamrock moved at the last second, and Umaga landed flat on his face. The fans knew what time it was, as Shamrock went into the zone for the first time in a long time! He grabbed Umaga’s ankle and the Samoan Bulldozer yelled in pain and Shamrock locked on the Ankle Lock! Umaga fought it but Shamrock would not let up…and Umaga tapped!

The announcers discussed what the return of Shamrock could mean for the WWE, as the former IC Champ’s hand was raised in victory. Estrada yelled at his client, clearly unhappy that his ‘machine’ was taken out by a man not even technically on the roster!

Match rating: (B-.)

WWE Intercontinental Title Match

Elijah Burke © vs. Kane

Elijah Burke walked into the match Intercontinental Champion, but he walked in with a size disadvantage as well. Burke was still confident in his ability however…well, up until the flames went up and Kane made his entrance.

Burke spent most of the match on the run from the Big Red Machine, and he didn’t seem to have Marcus Cor Von to hide behind. However, Kane eventually caught up to him, and overpowered him for most of the match. Burke still used his smarts to keep himself in the match, and found a way to knock out the ref, as he waited for Kane to go up to the top rope to hit the lariat, pulling the ref in the way. As the ref was out, Burke called out to the back, and out came his New Breed enforcer, Marcus Cor Von. Cor Von waited for Kane to get up, and nailed him with a vicious POUN… running shoulder tackle! Burke then went for the pin, but the ref was still out. So Cor Von attempted to wake up the ref, and after regaining consciousness, the ref made the count!

1…

2…

KICKOUT!

Kane then pushed Burke off of him, lifting himself up and preparing for a chokeslam. However, Cor Von jumped onto the apron, looking to enter the ring again. Kane went right after him, delivering a shot to the throat that sent Cor Von flying. The ref yelled out to Cor Von to get out of the match, but as his back was turned, Burke capitalized, having grabbed the Intercontinental Title while Kane was occupied. Burke nailed Kane with the belt and disposed of it just as quickly. Burke then made the cover and the ref turned to see it, and made the three count, giving the cocky New Breed member the pinfall win to retain his Intercontinental Title!

Match rating: (C.)

WWE Title Steel Cage Match

John Cena © vs. Mark Henry

Once again, the odds seemed to be against John Cena. He was faced with having to defend his title within the confines of a steel cage, facing a behemoth of a man in Mark Henry. However, he had faced odds like this before, and even in Los Angeles, the fans knew what they were about to see.

From the minute Cena entered, he was booed beyond belief, even when his opponent was as unpopular as Mark Henry. Cena didn’t acknowledge the boos, however, and focused on the match at hand. While Mark Henry seemed to overpower Cena at the beginning of the bout, Cena had much more endurance than Henry, and he used that to his advantage. Despite being the victim for most of the match, Cena made a comeback and used the cage as a tag team partner almost, throwing Henry into it and allowing it to be a weapon at his disposal. Cena even hit an impressive feat of F-Uing Henry into the side of the cage (hitting an F-U on Khali is one thing, as his weight it spread out by his height…Henry is, simply put, quite the heavy fellow.) Not even this could redeem him in the eyes of the fans though, as they turned against him every time. While they didn’t get behind Henry, the crowd took great enjoyment in booing Cena’s offense. Even the ending, in which Henry attempted to escape out the door of the cage but having it slammed on him from Cena from the top of the cage, leading to Cena’s jump to the floor and subsequent victory, didn’t garner the completely positive response that the booking staff had hoped for. Nonetheless, the match certainly garnered a reaction and somehow, lifted the quality of the match significantly. Cena raised his title in celebration, though the crowd was certainly mixed in their responses.

Match rating: (B-.)

Six Man Tag Match

Ric Flair, CM Punk, and ??? vs. Carlito, Johnny Nitro, and Kenny Dykstra

The video recap that played before the match certainly hyped up the Young Guns as dangerous and arrogant, and two men who had felt their wrath would team up to try to take them down. However, they had hyped up a third partner, and after the entrance of the Young Guns, CM Punk and Flair made their entrances and waited for the third man. Flair then took a microphone and said that this man had history with one of the men in the ring. Just like Flair wanted to tear apart Carlito, and CM Punk wanted revenge against Dykstra for last week, this man had a bit to settle with the third man in the ring, Johnny Nitro. Nitro had no idea who it was, but his own music played over the PA and everyone seemed to know exactly who it was – Joey Mercury!

Mercury ran down to the ring in street clothes, looking a little different from his last appearance now that he had short hair, and went right after his former partner, as these two apparently had issues stemming from after Mercury’s release from the company earlier in the year. Flair and Punk joined in on the action, going right after the faction and catching the young group off guard.

Once order returned to the match, the Young Guns took control, focusing on isolating the returning Mercury. In a neat bit of continuity, Nitro attacked Mercury’s face, as the announcers recalled Mercury’s busted nose and loss of part of the vision in his left eye from a ladder match this past December.

Both Flair and Punk would get their shots in, and the match began drifting back into chaos once more. However, Carlito used this to his advantage, catching Mercury off guard and hitting him with the Backstabber despite not being the legal man. Flair clotheslined him over the top rope, but Nitro took Flair out as well and took advantage of the moment, pinning Mercury as Dykstra kept Punk from re-entering the ring. A three count later and the Young Guns had successfully won their first six-man tag as a team! Flair and Punk tended to Mercury, but Carlito, Dykstra, and Nitro had the last laugh this evening.

Match rating: (B-.)

ECW Title Extreme Rules Match

Bobby Lashley © vs. Vince McMahon

This was not as much a match as it was an all-out domination of the Chairman, who was not in the right frame of mind when he entered the match. However, his son, Shane, came down and brought backup in the Great Khali, as he attempted to help save his father. Khali put away Lashley with a tree-slam, but refused to listen to Vince’s orders, instead giving a headbutt to the chairman! Clearly, he remembered being hit with a chair on ECW on Sci Fi…

Shane started getting in Khali’s face, which is clearly the wrong thing to do, no matter if you’re Shane-O-Mac or not. Khali simply chopped him over the head, knocking him out, and left the ring, leaving Lashley to recover. He took a chair and slammed it over Vince’s head not once, twice, but three times, and put McMahon away with a running powerslam for the pinfall. Vince clearly was put out of commission there, as Lashley stood victorious in the middle of the ring.

After the match, EMTs came down to the ring to assist Mr. McMahon, who had a blank look on his face and seemed to be mumbling something to himself…

Match rating: (B-.)

Grudge Match

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

The competitive edge of this feud made this match very emotionally charged, and this was one of Orton’s best matches to date. The two men went out and put on a match of the year candidate, pulling out all the stops, and despite this being the first big match between the two in a long time (the announcers brought up the fact that Orton and Benoit had a competitive feud back in 2004 leading to Orton winning his first Heavyweight Title at Summerslam 2004 from Benoit), Benoit made the Legend Killer look like a million bucks out there.

Orton had a more vicious streak in this match than he had in years past, especially after having viciously attacked Shawn Michaels and RVD, putting them both on the shelf (well, at least Michaels that is…apparently, Orton had “ended Van Dam’s career, leading to his departure from the WWE). However, he was not able to take out Benoit, who was careful in dodging Orton’s career-ending moves. After a few RKO and Crossface teases, the match ended when Benoit went up to the top rope to hit the flying headbutt. Orton, apparently playing possum, popped up onto his feet and punched Benoit, throwing him off balance and giving Randy the perfect opportunity to hit a picture-perfect top-rope RKO that clearly put an end on the match. Orton slumped an arm over Benoit and the ref made the three count, which gave Orton a high-profile win and had some fans actually standing up and applauding the man who they might not have had respect for before the match begun. Orton had his hand raised, and, though exhausted from the match, managed to fit in a pose…

\_O__/

…before being assisted to the back by referee Mike Chioda.

Match rating: (A*.)

World Heavyweight Title Match

Edge © vs. Batista

And from one emotional match to another, the feud between Edge and Batista had escalated to this World Heavyweight Title match, which would settle the score between the opportunistic Edge and the hungry Batista. The announcers made it clear that all parties were banned from the ringside area, meaning it would be an all out war between two stars in order to prove just who was the better man.

Batista, not nursing his “leg injury” any longer, was in full form, and despite having spent the last three weeks running a gauntlet against the Young Guns, he was too hungry for the title to care. Edge hoped to tire the big man out and gain the victory by outlasting him, and he started that strategy early on in the bout, by letting Batista chase him around the ring till making it back in, allowing Edge time to capitalize right from the get go.

Batista roared back, his adrenaline pumping throughout and keeping him alive in the match. It was a back and forth battle, and about twenty minutes later, both men had put on a hellacious fight and were both out of gas. Edge had hit every big move in his book, but each time Batista fought back, also hitting a lot of desperate maneuvers.

When Batista went for the Batista Bomb, Edge waited till he had been lifted up, and surprisingly, busted out a hurricaranna that took the big man down. Edge then waited and waited for the right moment, and the minute Batista got up, Edge hit a thunderous spear, taking both men down. Edge then slowly crawled over the challenger.

1….

2…….

KICKOUT!

Edge got tired of trying to fight the old fashioned way and went for his old standby, a steel chair. But before he could use it, Batista grabbed him and hit a spinebuster, which kept the chair out of use. Batista then signaled that it was time for the Batista Bomb, and he ended up hitting it, though very close to the ropes.

Batista then made the cover and referee Charles Robinson made the count!

1…

2…

3!!!

Batista had done it! Batista had won the match!

The fans went wild for the new champion, and Batista took the title with a huge amount of joy. Edge, having rolled to the outside, starting yelling that he had his foot under the rope, but Batista enjoyed the moment under the spotlight, as the fans showed their appreciation for a hard-fought main event matchup!

Match rating: (A*.)

Show rating: (B+.)

Vengeance 2007 got some critical acclaim for having some solid wrestling (mostly in the second half of the show, following the steel cage bout) and showcasing some stars who had not seen as much time before the draft (especially with regards to the team of Carlito, Nitro, and Dykstra). However, there were still some lingering problems within the WWE's booking.

John Cena's match was wisely not put in the main event in order to give some top exposure to SmackDown's title match, which delivered on all counts while Raw's was not one of Cena's stronger matches.

Despite some surprising returns (Shamrock, Mercury), the booking seemed to be in a state of limbo for others (Umaga, Kane).

And there was still the worry that no real long-term booking was being created, especially after the injury plague hurt a lot of booking ideas in the past couple of months.

Needless to say, there might be a hope for change.

Vince McMahon:

I have an idea! Great American Bash...all matches can be America versus Foreigners! Americans vs. Canadians, Americans vs. Mexicans, Americans vs. Arabs...let's just celebrate AMERICA!!!!

[Chris the Human]

Another enjoyable update, although I was a little disappointed to see so few of the comedic backstage interviews and segments that set this diary apart from others in the Dome at the moment. I did enjoy the write-ups, though, and I'll forgive you for making Batista champion again because you at least had the decency to bring back Ken Shamrock and put him over Umaga. The return of Joey Mercury was well done too. Oh, and props for the Orton pose. Made me chuckle.

You got my vote in the Power 25, and I look forward to seeing more of the comedic mayhem as the diary goes on.

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 6

CREATIVE TEAM SUMMER VACATION!!!!!!

July: 1st Week

Johnny Ace:

Today is the beginning of summer vacation for the creative staff, but believe me, there’s still a lot of work going on behind the scenes! We don’t rest on our laurels here…Vincent Kennedy McMahon is one of the hardest working bosses today, and even vacation can be work!

[Ping von Erich]

Way way WAY more Arn Anderson.. he and Dusty own this diary.

[Guest Ice]

Agreed...this needs more Arn, Dusty, and crazy Vince ramblings.

[Guest olla666]

Ha! This diary is great. It actually reminds me a lot of Stupid, Stupid Man, too.

[Guest ADDavis]

Episode 7

The Week In Review

July: 1st Week

WWE Raw is War

The post-Vengeance RAW featured a main event tag match, with John Cena teaming up with Chris Benoit to take on Mark Henry and Randy Orton. While it seemed to be a continuation of the two ‘major’ Raw matches from Vengeance, the result turned out to lead to an all out brawl between all four men. The end of the match saw Benoit making Mark Henry tap, but then getting taken out of the ring by Orton. Meanwhile, Henry recovered, and proceeded to put John Cena through the announcer’s table with a powerslam. It would seem as though their feud would continue, but the interviews leading up to the match by Benoit and Orton made it seem as though the two would possibly enter into the title picture...

In other matches, Ken Shamrock made his Raw return by defeating Marcus Cor Von, but after the bout Shamrock was brutally attacked by Umaga, who laid the World’s Most Dangerous Man out with the Samoan Spike. Clearly, the feud would continue.

Speaking of Cor Von, while he himself didn’t pick up a win, he managed to help Elijah Burke get a win over Jeff Hardy in a successful Intercontinental Title defense. Cor Von was hyped up by Burke, but when it came to his match with Shamrock, he went at it all alone. An interesting development, but Burke claimed it was because he had to warm up for his title defense, so Cor Von understood.

The World Tag Team Champions, Cade and Murdoch, successfully defended their titles against the World’s Greatest Tag Team, which then led to Charlie Haas attacking Shelton Benjamin in frustration after the two argued. After weeks of losing and coming up short, clearly it had gotten to Haas. After the bout, he was approached by MANAGER OF CHAMPIONS, Glenn Gilberti, who once again offered his managerial services, which Haas ended up taking. As for the champs, Cade and Murdoch were challenged by the Hardys, and the match was made for next week - Cade and Murdoch vs. The Hardys in a NON-title match, in order for the Hardys to "prove" themselves.

And in his first match on Raw, the Miz…lost. Who beat him? Well, a debuting Cody Rhodes, who was hyped up times a thousand by the announce team as the ‘New American Dream’.

Dusty Rhodes:

My thon, The NEWWWWW American Dweem, Codayyyy Rhodeth, he gon’ be the biggetht thtah’ the Dubbida-Dubbida-Eee evah seen, if ya weeeeeellllllll…

Cody Rhodes:

Dad, I can kinda speak for myse--

Dusty Rhodes:

DUTHTIN! BE QUIET, YA DAMNED THHHACK 'UH CRAP!!

Cody Rhodes:

...it's Cody... "Cody"....

[C-MIL]

Excellent diary, ADD. The only real flaw I could find is that it's a little tricky to follow the actual booking as I find myself anticipating the next insert scene. I suppose it's a pretty good sign that I find myself wanting to read more even while I'm reading though. As far as the format is concerned, whatever works for you is what's best to do. You're doing awesome thus far and I wish you luck keeping it going.

What ARE dubs?