What If?...

[TMM]

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Sunday 29th July 2001

THE WEEKLY UPDATE

Monday 23rd July

Sean Waltman (X-Pac) is on the verge of signing a deal with WCW. Waltman has been very unhappy with his treatment in the WWF since the news of Stephanie McMahon and Triple H's real-life break-up, and since the departure's of both Triple H and Shawn Michaels, Waltman has been taking the punishment for it himself. Waltman has spoken to the WWF about being leaving, but they are yet to give him a release. WCW are currently talking to him about joining, and if he agrees to "jump ship" he will be available to work for them pretty much immediately. However, if the WWF did release him, he would be subject to a 30-day non-compete clause, much like Stevie Richards has. It remains to be seen how this will pan out.

Tuesday 24th July

Jerry Lawler will miss the next two months of WCW programming due to an apparent suspension! Details are vague at this point, but we've been informed that the suspension is related to a new set of rules laid down prior to Monday Nitro. We don't know what rule or rules Lawler broke, but according to our source Lawler has been removed from anything WCW related and will sit out the suspension without pay until around this time in September.

If you are one of the many fans who hate the idea of teaming up Road Warrior Animal and Bill DeMott, you have this picture to blame. It is a photo of DeMott from his AWF days as Crash the Terminator. Apparently, the WCW head writer Allan Wright saw the photo and thought he "reminded him of the Road Warriors". Therefore, he decided to team them up. Many think that this idea is 'crapping over the legacy' of the Road Warriors, Hawk and Animal.

Thursday 26th July

BG James has today been released from his WCW contract. His debut at the 'Bash at the Beach' did not garner as much interest as expected, and today BG James and WCW parted on good terms. Apparently, the company were thinking of reviving the 'New Age Outlaws' tag team in WCW, but under a different name due to having both men under contract (Gunn is on a 'trial' contract). However, neither man expressed interest in the idea, saying it was in their past and they wanted to move on. James was then informed of the decision to release him. Billy Gunn is also expected to be released before the end of August as well.

Saturday 28th July

We have been informed that Alicia Webb will appear Monday on Nitro. It is unclear on the role she will play, or whether it's a permanent role, all we know is she was told to be dress 'smart-casual' for her role. This could mean anything though.

Sunday 29th July

MONDAY NITRO PREVIEW

Nitro emenates LIVE from Denver, Colorado, and Nitro will play host to a match that will hopefully signify the end of the bloody and heated fued between Scott Hall and Diamond Dallas Page. This battle started way back on July 18th when Scott Hall defeated DDP in a United States title tournament match, and has gone on to see DDP bloodied at the hands of the nWo, DDP being mocked by Hall, Kimberly has been disrobed by Hall. DDP was the cause of Scott Hall losing his US title chance when he cost him his match against Ken Shamrock and many more things. These two clash on Nitro, and you don't want to miss it!

In nWo related news, Triple H and the World Heavyweight champion Kevin Nash will team up to take part in a special handicap match set up by President Eric Bischoff. The nWo members will take on both David Flair and Crowbar, both former victims of an unprovoked attack, and the man who was the special enforcer in Kevin Nash's World Heavyweight title match at 'Bash at the Beach'...Goldberg. This is said to be punishment from Bischoff to show the nWo what it feels like to be outnumbered.

Last week, Jeff Jarrett said that Nitro would see him make an impact. In Jarrett's words, he's being held back by 'the powers that be' and he wants his shot. He hasn't said what he plans to do, but whenever Jeff Jarrett says he is going to make an impact, he usually makes an impact that is heard around the wrestling world! Tune in to find out what Jarrett does.

The new United States champion will return to Nitro this week two weeks after winning his first singles title in the company. He missed last week because of the attack he was victim of after winning the title, courtesy of Ken Shamrock. Because of Shamrock's attack on Kanyon and staff members, he was fined $55,000 and given a four week unpaid suspension. This week, Kanyon hold's a special 'commemorative segment' about himself. What this could be is anyone's guess, but you wouldn't want to miss what Kanyon says, because it's bound to be interesting!

We also hope to hear more about this Elimination Chamber match from Eric Bischoff.

Confirmed Matches:

* Reno vs. Nick Dinsmore

* Palumbo vs. Mike Awesome

* Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Rogers in a Hardcore match

* Scott Hall vs. Diamond Dallas Page

* Goldberg, David Flair and Crowbar vs. Kevin Nash and Triple H

Edited December 22, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[Hajjhowe]

Just caugth up. I actually would have enjoyed seeing Billy Gunn & Road Dogg kept, would have added some depth to the tag division. Either way, it's a great diary so far and I personally would have voted for picking up X-Pac. He could be thrown into the nWo or as a "veteran" crusierweight.

[TMM]

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Monday 30th July 2001

We are LIVE in Denver, Colorado

Our hosts are Tony Schiavone and Mike Tenay.

The show opens with the Scott Hall coming to the ring for his big ‘feud-settling’ match with Diamond Dallas Page. I hope the feud doesn’t end; I mean, it’s given us such great moments like Scott Hall stealing Kimberly Page’s towel! You just can’t go any higher than that bitch!

Hall: Hey yo…I would like to talk about a couple of things, but I’m going to start with Eric Bischoff! Eric, what are you thinking making a 6-man match? Everyman for themselves? Are you just making this stuff up as you along? Besides, what the hell is an Elimination Chamber? You got Booker T, Goldberg, DDP and three members of the nWo with the World Heavyweight title on the line eh? You know that the nWo like a little bit of competition in the ranks, but this idea is a blatant attempt to tear the family apart chico! Now, I want to be the World Heavyweight champion as much as the next person holmes, but I ain’t like all of you; I don’t fight my family and friends for the enjoyment of people I don’t know! I know you would gladly ‘fight’ your own brothers and sisters, if you know what I mean? I know Eric Bischoff wants to eradicate the nWo from the face of the planet, and he’ll do it anyway he can think of…but this ain’t gonna work holmes, because the nWo are a unit, and myself and Triple H will protect Kevin Nash and make sure he walks out the champion! Don’t get me wrong, I would love to win the World title holmes, but in time…in time I will, not at ‘Road Wild’ because the belt still belongs to “Big Sexy”, and until the unlikely time that he loses it, the belt is still his.

The music of DDP hits, and the ‘master of the Diamond Cutter’ comes out with his lubberly wife Kimberly, who is looking DAMN hot tonight may I add.

DDP: Enough of your whinging Hall! These fans didn’t come here to hear you moan about how Eric Bischoff is trying to destroy your little ‘family’! No, they came here to see me kick you ass all over Denver, Colorado!

Hall: Do you not know when you’re interrupting someone? I mean, this is my time right now, and you come out here thinking that you can just…INTERUPT me? Well Page, I couldn’t care less what these fans want! They wanted Booker T to beat Kevin Nash at ‘Bash at the Beach’; he didn’t! They wanted Booker T to beat Kevin Nash last week on Nitro; he didn’t. Doesn’t that say something for the fans?

DDP: In case you started drinking a little earlier today, you might’ve forgotten that both those matches were won thanks to you and your nWo buddies!

Hall: Oh yeah, you’re right there aren’t you? But look at it like this; Nash still won. We don’t give a damn what the fans think of us, and we win matches and titles. You’re a champion of the people, and where has it got you; nowhere Page, that’s where! But the nWo; we don’t care about rules, authority or the fans, and we can get whatever the hell we want! And right now Page…I want some of your lovely wife, she’s looking mighty hot tonight holmes!

DDP: You want some of Kim? You couldn’t handle her you stupid son of a bitch! Get ready, coz your next to FEEL THE BANG!

Scott Hall vs. Diamond Dallas Page w/ Kimberly

DDP gave the mic and his jacket to Kim as he ran down the ramp to go at it with Scott Hall. Many matches start like this nowadays…DDP then whips Hall across the ring, and gets taken down with a nice DDT for a near fall. Hall picks DDP up and hits a scoop slam and fluidly goes into an elbow drop for a near fall. Scott Hall does his funky dance thingy before going through the motions with some elbow and knee drops. DDP fights his way up, but gets a whip across the ring only to clock Scott Hall with a elbow to the jaw! Hall stumbles around a bit, and then walks into ‘Bossman slam’, getting him a near fall. DDP beats on Hall for a couple of minutes and then calls for the Diamond Cutter! Scott Hall stands up and walks straight into it! 1…2…guitar shot to the head!!! Jeff Jarrett just broke up the pin with a guitar shot to the head of DDP! What the hell is going on? Hold on; Symphony is back! She’s at ringside with Jarrett, and she has a second guitar! She hands the guitar to Jarrett as the ref calls for a no-contest. Booo.

Rundown

Winner: No Contest (7:56)

Not going to rate it. From now on, any match that ends in a no-contest is automatically ignored as a match by me. I hate non-finishes…

Jarrett helps Scott Hall to his feet…before blasting HIM with the guitar as well! On the outside, Symphony walks up to Kimberly and SLAPS her in the face! Kim falls to her knees, and Symphony gets in the ring and holds Jeff’s hand and gives a microphone to him.

Jarrett: I told you that I was going to make an impact, and this is that impact right HERE! I am the “Chosen One”, and I refuse to watch these washed up old punks take MY spotlight! What have they done to get a WCW title shot? Huh? Is it because they’re old? I couldn’t care less, because I want in the Elimination Chamber…whatever that is! I want a SHOT at Kevin Nash’s World title, and I want it at ‘Road Wild’!

As if on queue (well, it probably was on queue now I think about it) Eric Bischoff walks out onto the stage with a microphone in hand.

Bischoff: Well Jeff, I see you did good on your word by making an impact here tonight. To be honest with you Jeff; I like the way you did it! I mean, you beat up two guys I particularly hate, and you stated exactly what you wanted…I like it! So I tell you what Jeff; next week on Nitro, there is going to be a triple-threat match! Two out of three go through to the Elimination Chamber match, with the other person going through to absolutely nowhere! In fact, this match will determine the superstar who will challenge the World Heavyweight champion at ‘Fall Brawl’ in September! ‘How is this going to happen’ I hear you ask? Well, the man who gets the deciding pinfall in the triple-threat match gets a title shot at ‘Fall Brawl’. Then, Friday night, the first episode of Thunder on NBC, the other two superstars will go one-on-one with the WINNER getting the sixth place in the Elimination Chamber match! ‘What happens to the loser’ I hear you ask? Well, the loser will NOT, and I mean NOT, the loser will NOT get a shot at the World Heavyweight champion until AT LEAST the year 2002! Do you know what the best thing about this is; I couldn’t give a CRAP who wins or who looses! Ha ha ha!

Eric Bischoff drops the microphone and leaves the ramp. The commentators are saying that the decision isn’t right and shouldn’t happen because Jarrett doesn’t deserve a title shot. They also complain that Eric Bischoff didn’t explain what this ‘Elimination Chamber’ actually is! They talk all the way into a commercial break.

Commercial Break

We’re back, and there’s a COOL set in the ring! It has a black cloth covering something. Wow; Kanyon has a chat show! Yay! There are a bunch of photos of Kanyon smiling and stuff, and a video screen that is constantly showing fan signs that praise him as well as fans wearing Kanyon t-shirts and a bunch of Kanyon merchandise. How cool is that? Well, Kanyon is on his way out to the ring and he’s got Randy and Alexis doing the same as he did two weeks ago with Randy confiscating ‘insulting’ signs and replacing them with ‘Who betta than Kanyon? Nobody!’ signs! Kanyon was using a crutch because his right ankle is apparently ‘severely bruised’ courtesy of ‘the Ultimate Fighting Champion’ as Mike Tenay calls him now. Kanyon is in the ring and admiring the set as Alexis pulls the chair towards him so he can sit on it.

Kanyon: Wow…isn’t this just brilliant? I designed it myself you know. While I was sitting at home last week, thinking about how good I am, I thought to myself, “Because I am are the BEST, why don’t I host my own CHAT SHOW!” A brilliant idea isn’t it? So I designed the set with my own, brilliantly made set of colouring pens, they have my name on them you know! I designed the set and thought, “Who’s set is better than Kanyon’s? Nobody’s is!” Ha ha! Then I thought to myself, “I need a name for my show! A name that is just plain BETTER than everyone else’s. So allow me to introduce you to (removes the black cloth)…the Grand Kanyon! I know, I know what you’re thinking, “Who has a chat show with a better name than Kanyon’s?”

Randy and Alexis lean in on Kanyon’s mic…

Randy and Alexis: Nobody does!

Kanyon: Then it struck me; I need a guest for the inaugural show! A guest that is fitting for MY show; someone who is as GREAT as me! But unfortunately, none exist…I know, sad isn’t it? So, because I have the heart of a lion, and because he doesn’t scare me; I spoke to WCW officials and they have lifted the suspension that has been laid on Ken Shamrock! For one show only though! It couldn’t be any longer because he launched a SAVAGE and UNPROVOKED attack on me! Oh, and he hurt a couple of WCW staff, but he nearly broke MY ANKLE! Anyway, allow me to bring out the first EVER guest on the Grand Kanyon…Ken Shamrock!

Shamrock comes out, and is escorted by a bunch of security guards down to the ring but they stay outside the ring, allowing Shamrock to enter on his own.

Kanyon: Remember Ken; you touch me and you get a further week added on to your suspension! Now Ken tell me; how does it feel to be in the ring with somebody as GOOD as me? No, no…what was it like being BEATEN by someone as GREAT as me? No, no Ken, how does…

Shamrock: Would you shut up for one minute? How did it feel being beaten for the United States title by you, Chris Kanyon? Let’s have a look…roll the damn footage!

Footage is shown of Ken Shamrock beating the crap out of Ken Shamrock and the staff two weeks ago is shown on the jumbo-tron.

Kanyon: Ok, ok, I don’t think we need to see anymore…

Shamrock: Hold on there Chris; I didn’t answer your other question!

Kanyon: Which one? How does it feel to be in the ring with somebody as GOOD as me? Well, I am better than you Ken, and you must know this! I mean, don’t take it personally or anything because I’m better than everyone!

Shamrock: That’s the one Chris, and my answer to that is…

Shamrock got up off the chair and took Kanyon down with a clothesline and started pounding away at Kanyon before locking in the Ankle Lock on Kanyon’s injured right ankle! Randy quickly got into the ring and tasted a belly-to-belly suplex right into the ‘smiling Kanyon’ pictures! The security quickly get in the ring and jump on Shamrock to hold him down and get him away from everyone. They placed handcuffs on him and dragged him out of the ring. Kanyon quickly grabbed a microphone.

Kanyon: You’re stupid Ken! You just another weeks suspension you idiot! Ha ha ha…

Bischoff: Um, actually he hasn’t Chris!

The fans popped loud as Eric Bischoff emerges on the stage with a microphone.

Bischoff: In fact, he has just had a week REMOVED from his suspension!

Kanyon: WHAT?

Bischoff: I told you that if he touched you, he would get another week’s suspension, but what I didn’t think to mention then was that if you provoked him, he would have a week REMOVED instead! So, Ken Shamrock will return to active wrestling duty NEXT WEEK! BUT…he will not wrestle next week. At ‘Road Wild’ there will be a United States title match between Chris Kanyon…and Ken Shamrock! All that leaves is the matter of the stipulation. Oh yes, the US title match will carry a stipulation! And next week, you two will have specially chosen representatives battle it out. If Chris Kanyon’s representative wins, Chris Kanyon chooses the stipulation. But if Ken Shamrock’s representative wins, Ken Shamrock chooses the stipulation!

Kanyon: What? You can’t do that! Please boss don’t! Who are the representatives?

Bischoff: Well Chris for you it will be…your fan boy there, Randy!

Kanyon: You…you can’t do that! Randy isn’t a trained wrestler! He’s never even wrestled a match before!

Bischoff: I know that, and that is why his opponent is going to be a young man named Ryan Wing. He’s never been in a ring before either. In fact, he’s only a stagehand! So next week, Randy vs. Ryan Wing! Have a good week guys.

Bischoff walked off leaving Ken Shamrock looking up at Kanyon; both men didn’t quite know what to make of it…neither do I. Randy Orton comes from a wrestling family, so maybe it’s to show that he is talented in the ring. Then again, I have heard of this Ryan Wing kid, so maybe we’re in for a treat of a wrestling match…who knows?

We get a hype video for the inaugural WCW Thunder show that premieres Friday 10th of August. We’re told in the vid that Mike Tenay and Stevie Richards will be hosting the show. I hope that Stevie’s position is only for the duration of his injury (broken ankle) and I hope he’ll be back in the ring after that.

Guido Maritato and Johnny the Bull vs. the New Road Warriors

Well, DeMott is going by the name ‘Road Warrior Crash’, using the name that he used in the early 90’s. He used to be Crash the Terminator (which is almost as bad as Air Paris). Well, we’ll see. I don’t like it personally, because it feels like they’re shitting on the legacy of Hawk and Animal. Well, the F.B.I. are not allowed at ringside for this match, so I guess we’re going to get a nice simple tag team match! Guido and Animal start out, and Animal overpowers him and sends him crashing back into his corner. Guido tags in Johnny the Bull, who suffers the same fate! Animal makes the tag to Crash, who absorbs the punishment from Johnny the Bull before ‘hulking up’ and beating him up. The Bull stupidly tags out to Guido who walks straight into a clothesline from Crash. Crash drags him to the corner and lets Animal beat on him for a little while before killing him with a running powerslam. The Bull runs in and gets powerslammed for his troubles as well! Animal tags in Crash and sets him up on his shoulders for Crash to administer the Doomsday Device! Crash covers Guido…1…2…3 and the new tag team get the win. The New Road Warriors celebrate their victory by posing in the ring.

Rundown

Winners: the New Road Warriors (3:13)

Well, while it wasn’t a horrible match, I hated it. I mean, they have a legitimately good stable in the F.B.I., yet they job them out here to the fake Road Warriors. Why? Seriously, I’m a big F.B.I. fan and I would like to see something decent happen with them. Hopefully they’ll have something to do when Thunder debuts.

½ * – For reasons stated above

Commercial Break

Mike Awesome w/ Lance Storm vs. Palumbo w/ O’Haire

We’re told that this match was originally scheduled to include Billy Kidman so it would be a triple-threat, but Kidman isn’t able to compete so it’s changed to a one-on-one. We’re also informed that, because of the injuries sustained by both Rey Mysterio Jr. and Billy Kidman, the Tag Team title match at ‘Road Wild’ will see the champions, Storm and Awesome take on Palumbo and O’Haire. We get a lock-up from these two and get a break when nobody gets the advantage. Palumbo signals for another lock-up, but knees Awesome in the gut when he moves in for it. A couple of ‘Palumbo punches’ later, Palumbo catches him with a hip toss. Awesome gets up and Palumbo sends him into the corner courtesy of a few nicely placed chops. Awesome tried to cover up and then quickly nailed a STIFF looking knee to the head, sending Palumbo crashing to the mat. Palumbo held is head while Awesome tried to gather his senses. Awesome snarled and started stomping away at the prone Palumbo before quickly picking him up and hit a spinebuster. He hooks the leg and pins Palumbo getting a near fall. Awesome dragged him up by his hair, and after being yelped at by the referee Mike Awesome held Palumbo up high and held him there for a while. O’Haire hopped up on the apron forcing Awesome to drop Palumbo and swing at O’Haire. Awesome stepped back and was quickly the victim of a low blow from Palumbo! Awesome was quickly rolled up, but only managed a near fall off the illegal blow. Palumbo picks up Awesome and he attempts to suplex the bigger man, but to no avail with Awesome battling his way out of it. Awesome was still feeling the effects of the low blow after a suplex of his own. Mike Awesome tried to intimidate the ref by pointing at his groin. That always works. Awesome is still yelling at the referee when Palumbo hits a Jungle Kick to the back of his head, knocking him into the referee and onto the mat! Palumbo covers him, but there’s no referee. Unbeknownst to O’Haire, Storm grabs a title belt and clocks him on the outside before going inside to nail Palumbo. Palumbo gets up, but he manages to duck the belt show and then Jungle Kick him! He turns round and walks right into an Awesome Bomb! The referee slowly recovers at the same time as Awesome covers him getting a 1…2…3 and a win for the Tag Team champion. Mike Awesome rolls outside and grabs the second belt, walks to the other side of the ring and drags Lance Storm out of it. The Tag Team champions walk up the ramp leaving the challengers alone in the ring.

Rundown

Winner: Mike Awesome (10:49)

Good match. These two work well together. Can’t wait for the Tag Team title match; should be a good ‘en.

** - For reason’s stated above.

Commercial Break

We’re back and we get another “He’s Coming” video/clip thing. Nothing changed from last week’s one, as it was a simple and quick thing that said simply that “he” is coming. Who he is, I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to it.

Hardcore match: Tommy Dreamer vs. Bubba Rogers

Oh, this should suck. No offence to Tommy Dreamer but why was he so popular? From what I saw he sucked. Granted, I only ever saw about two or three ECW shows, but still! Anyway, Dreamer has a Singapore cane with him, while Rogers has his weapon of choice that is a steel chair. Nightstick is better than both the chair and the cane. The nightstick got jobbed to the chair. Well Rogers swings wildly with the chair, but Dreamer ducks in starts punching away. He dropped the cane if you’re wondering. Stupid ECW fool. We’ve got a slugfest here; a shitty one at that, but it’s still a slugfest that ECW’s favourite son wins. He gets taken down with a bulldog and then places Bubba’s steel chair across the face of Bubba. He then grabs the Singapore cane and signals that he’s going to hit Rogers with it. Huh? The fans cheer wildly, and then Dreamer whacks the cane on the chair which Rogers sells like he’s been shot in the nose. Jeez, a wooden stick hitting a stationary chair…how much could that POSSIBLY hurt? Well Rogers is helped to his feet by Dreamer, but Rogers fights back with a stiff uppercut, which sends Dreamer staggering into the corner. We get a minute or so of a slugfest between the two which bored me, and then Dreamer tried to run in Rogers but ran straight into a, and I quote “Rogers Slam” (Bossman slam). Now, I can’t be the only person that thinks it sounds like a gay-sex move can I? Anyway, the move only gets a near fall, so Rogers is shocked. He picks him up in order for him to do what must be another gay-sex-named move, but Dreamer pulls some strength out of somewhere and hits the Dreamer DDT on the steel chair. Cover gets three, and we have our winner. Rob Van Dam comes running down the aisle with a steel chair and gets on the apron and stops as Dreamer turns round to confront him. RVD smiles and pretends that he was coming to check on Rogers. He quickly drops the chair on the ground and does the thumbs which pisses Dreamer off, so he swings at RVD, who in turn drops off the apron and heads to the back.

Rundown

Winner: Tommy Dreamer (6:15)

Six minutes of crappy hardcore action. The fact that hardcore rules were involved is the only thing that made this semi-interesting, but it was still boring. I do like the feud over the title though.

¾ * - Don’t let these two face each other one-on-one again.

We get an update on the condition of both Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio Jr. We’re told that because Mysterio is going to miss 5-6 weeks because of the injury sustained at the hands of O’Haire last week, he is out of the three-way dance at ‘Road Wild’. Huh? However, Kidman will return next week and he has been given permission to go out and find a replacement partner and if Kidman and the new partner can defeat a specially chosen team this Friday on Thunder, they would get a shot at the titles at ‘Road Wild’. Ok, I thought they already announced the match as being a two-on-two match already? Oh well, this could be interesting, but it depends on the partner.

Cruiserweight champion ‘Sugar’ Shane Helms is out! Yay! And he has a microphone! Yay!

Helms: Jamie Knoble! Now, I know that you want to get your hands on my Cruiserweight title, and that’s all fair and good, but what I don’t appreciate is you attacking friends of mine to get my attention! You and your pet rottweiler threw my buddy the Wall…through a wall out of the blue, without provocation, just so you could get my attention and piss me the hell off! Well I’ll tell you what Jamie; you’ve done great on both counts! So Jamie, get out here and face the consequences if you have the guts!

Knoble and Malice soon emerge on stage, and Knoble is dressed like a piece of trash. Trailer trash that is.

Knoble: Boy, you’re right! We did attack the Wall to piss you right off! But we also did it because he annoys Malice here.

Helms: I couldn’t really care about your big male-stripper over there to be honest with you; all I want is you! One-on-one, right now!

Knoble: Who you calling a ‘male-stripper boy? I’ll have you know that Malice here is NOT a stripper! In fact, he doesn’t even like women! Uh…what I mean by that is he’s far more interesting in me…NO! I mean that he is far more interested in the money that I pay him to guard me from the likes of you!

Helms: Well Jamie, sounds like you’re trying to hide something there. Malice my man; are you a little bit like this (does a limp wrist)? Do you and Jamie here have more than just a business relationship? Not that there is anything wrong with that guys, I mean, this is the 21st century and all!

Knoble: Shut up! You’re confusing Malice! Stop trying to confuse him!

Helms: I think he’s already a little ‘confused’, if you know what I mean (crowd pops and laughs)?

Knoble: …huh? What you on about boy? You trying to be funny! You ain’t funny!

Helms: No but I think you two are…

Knoble: Actually, I am known to make a good joke or…WAIT A MINUTE! You’re implying that Malice and me are…boy, who do you think you are? We ain’t no…we ain’t no boyfriends boy! We’re business partners!

Helms: Listen Jamie; if it makes you happy to continue denying it, that’s fine! I mean loads of people are to scared to come out because they’re afraid people will make jokes about them, and I understand. If you don’t wish to confirm everyone’s belief, that’s ok…do what makes you happy.

Knoble: Shut up! Shut up Shane! You know, you think you’re so smart, but I’ve just come from Eric Bischoff’s office, and I’ve been told that next week on the first EVER Thunder on NBC, there’s going to be a Cruiserweight title match between you and me! Me boy! Title is coming home with me boy, just you wait and see!

Knoble throws down the microphone and again holds back Malice. Helms smirks and does another ‘limp-wrist’ thingy. Good segment from these two, the match should be good.

Commercial Break

Reno vs. Nick Dinsmore

FILLER ALERT! FILLER ALERT! FILLER ALERT! Yup, we got some filler for the sandwich known as Nitro. I don’t know if Dinsmore is capable of carrying Reno to a watchable match at this stage of his career, but I guess we’re about to find out. Standard lock-up and brawl to start with Reno trying to use his strength advantage, but Dinsmore out wrestles him. Even though I’m a pretty big Dinsmore fan from his OVW days, he needs a gimmick here. I have no idea why he’s here, what he’s doing, and the fans haven’t been given a reason to care about him. They need to give him a little bit of mic time, just a little bit. Anyway, this match is boring me. Reno goes for a Roll of the Dice, but Dinsmore manages to get out of it and nail a German suplex for the win. Gee, that was dull.

Rundown

Winner: Nick Dinsmore (3:51)

Well, the fans were dead. Silent. There was a teeny pop at the entrance of Dinsmore, but that was the height of their reaction.

DUD – Neither man were really interested in performing tonight, I was interested in watching it, and so we got a shitty filler match.

Goldberg, David Flair and Crowbar vs. Kevin Nash and Triple H w/ Shawn Michaels

Before anyone makes their entrance, we get a little video package of the Flair/Crowbar vs. Hall/HHH match from a few weeks back to explain why this match is happening. Well, the heels are out first minus Scott Hall who is apparently still selling the guitar shot from earlier tonight. Every time I see Jarrett clock someone with a guitar I get the image of Pete Townshend of the Who smashing his guitar on stage. Ah, awesome band there. Anyway, Flair and Crowbar are out next to a ‘I recognise them’ sorta pop, but then the roof gets blown off the arena as Goldberg’s music hits! Flair and Crowbar waited for him to come out, but Goldberg ran straight past them and attacked both Triple H and Nash! He fought both men without either person getting in a shot at all. Flair and Crowbar just sat back and watched in awe as ‘the Berg’ hoisted Triple H above his head and slammed him down with a Gorilla-press slam. He then coiled up and prepared to Spear the hell out of Kevin Nash, but Shawn Michaels grabbed his foot to stop him from going anywhere. Goldberg turned to confront Michaels but walked into a kick to the gut from Triple H! He set him up for the Pedigree, but Goldberg managed to toss him over his back before hitting the Spear to knock him out of his boots! However, Goldberg turned and walked straight into a big boot from Kevin Nash. Nash dropped to his knees in exhaustion (well, it has been 3 minutes!) and David Flair decided to reach and tag himself in. Flair started to hit away at Nash with the shots (surprisingly coz it’s Nash) having an effect! David tries to get an Irish-whip in, but Nash holds the top rope and sends Flair over the top to the outside. Nash gets the ref’s attention, so Triple H goes outside and slams him into the steel steps and tosses him into the ring. Nash tags in Trips, who goes into Cerebral Assassin mode and starts to kick some serious Flair ass. In the middle of the beat down, Trips does a little Ric Flair strut to take the piss before doing the D-X chop (!) and kicking Flair in the face. Some tags here and there see David completely isolated and beaten down for about five minutes until Triple H signals for the Pedigree. Crowbar steps through the ropes to stop it and the referee quickly stops him, but it’s to late for Trips as Flair lo blows him! Ha. Flair slowly to his feet…piledriver! Both Trips and David are down, and both start to wriggle at 8. Both are within inches of their partners…Goldberg and Nash are in! Goldberg is cleaning house and kicking…ass. Yup. Well there’s no stopping Goldy now…SPEAR!!! He’s going nuts, it’s Jackhammer time! How’s he…? Never mind. Everyone is in the ring and Triple H has the World Heavyweight title. He’s heading for Goldberg, but Crowbar comes from nowhere with the Inverted DDT! Flair has the belt, he clocks Nash with it! Goldberg covers…1…2…3! A win for the faces! Wait a minute, Hall and Michaels are in the ring! Michaels lays out Crowbar with the Sweet Chin Music, and second one for David Flair! Hall uses the belt to lay out Goldberg before helping up Nash. Triple H and Michaels hold up Goldberg for Nash who grabs his face and tells him that HE is the champion. Goldberg spits in his face, so Nash kicks him in the balls and Jacknife’s him! Typical heel champion thing follows as Nash stands over Goldberg with the World Heavyweight title held high over his head as Nitro goes off the air.

Rundown

Winners: Goldberg, David Flair and Crowbar (12:32)

Well, considering it had Nash, David Flair and Goldberg in it, I must say it was entertaining. The majority of it was David getting his ass kicked, which I have no problem with! Trips brought the good stuff as usual, and Goldberg sent the crowd into a frenzy when he tagged in. The only thing Crowbar did was the DDT at the end, which makes me think he might’ve been carrying an injury.

** - It clicked well, and David got beat up, so I like it!

Show Rundown

Better than last weeks Nitro, but that’s not saying much. The Palumbo/Awesome match was fun to watch, as was the main event. The Jarrett interference in the DDP/Hall match was a surprise. The Knoble/Helms exchange was very good, but the pure goldmine that is “The Grand Kanyon” has got me so happy!

Edited December 22, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[Hewey]

Great show, The stuff with Kanyon is getting better every week. I liked Jarrett trying to make himself into a main eventer again by beating down Hall and DDP. Looking forward to seeing who'll be Kidman's new partner. My guess it'll be Juvy

[Hajjhowe]

Thunder looks good. I loe Kanyon, as I have since POST ONE! Seems he is going to get a good push too. Keep it up!

PS: Does anyone hae a link to the Fusient buys WCW scenario used for this? If they can get it to me, I will love them long time.

[TMM]

-- Chapter Twenty Four --

Tuesday 31st July 2001

Waltman is coming...

Sean Waltman had agreed to jump ship. He handed in his notice at WWF headquarters a few hours before Monday Night Raw was suppose to start, apparently forcing a bit of a rewrite in the show. Bischoff had spoken to him this time last week about joining WCW, and Waltman was a little bit shocked at the offer, but he said he knew it hadn't come from him, and that it had come from one of, if not all of the 'Kliq'. Bischoff didn't deny it, he said he probably wouldn't have though about it until they brought it up. They had a couple of phone conversations since the first one a week ago, and they had come to the agreement that they would sign the contract today at WCW headquarters in Atlanta, Georgia.

Waltman was on time at the building and was shown up to the meeting room by Bischoff's personal assistant Sophie. The animosity was high between the two of them, and Bischoff knew that Waltman didn't truely want to be there. He wanted to stay in the WWF because it was the 'top of the mountain'. But the presence of his best friends swayed him. Oh, and the fact he was being jobbed out left, right and centre might've had a little something to do with it.

Waltman: Well, I guess that I've gotta sign this contract now.

Bischoff: Well, you don't have to! I mean, you c...

Waltman: Actually, I do. I mean, I gave in my notice yesterday at Titan Towers. I'm as welcome there now as you are. Look, I want it made clear that I'm only here because of the shit way I was treated in the WWF. If by some strange circumstances they offered my a contract that specifically stated I wouldn't be treated like fucking shit, I'll be on my way up there. As a matter of fact, so would Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Trips and Shawn Michaels. I promise you that. WCW was a shithole, and from what I've been told, it still is. Don't think any one of us has any loyalty to you, because we don't. We go where the money is. We don't appreciate being treated like crap; hence why me, Trips and Shawn jumped on down here.

Bischoff: Fine, if that's your attitude...get out of my building.

Waltman: What?

Bischoff: What? You got wax in your ears Sean? I said, get out if that is your attitude! If you don't wanna work here, get the fuck out! I don't think Vince McMahon will take you back after the little stunt you pulled, giving in your notice and all! What ya think Todd Gordon and CWL pay? Hell, I wonder how much Rob Black pays in XPW? You think he pays in porn videos? We don't need you here! Believe it or not, the reason you were offered a job isn't because I was pressurised into offering one to you by your friends! No. I offered you a job because I actually pity your greasy little backside. Maybe it was for nothing eh? Hand me the contract...

Waltman slides the contract across the table slowly...

Waltman: What for?

Bischoff: I'm going to rip it up, that's what for...

Bischoff is about to tear it, but Waltman stops him.

Waltman: Woah, woah Eric. You tear that contract up, you don't only loose me, you lose Nash, Michaels, Hall and Trips as well. You're welcome to do it...

Bischoff stopped and realised he was right. He knew that the loss of the nWo would kill WCW even more than their presence would! Losing the biggest group the company has would be a blow beyond blows, as would the loss of the World Champion. If Waltman spotted Bischoff's realisation, he could be screwed, so he bluffed it...

Bischoff: So uh, you going to sign the contract then?

Waltman: Of course I am! Give it here!

Bischoff slid the contract across the table to Waltman who quickly signed it and slid it back to Bischoff.

Waltman: There, done.

Bischoff: Good, shall we get down to the real business then?

Waltman: Real business...?

Bischoff: Yes, when and where you will debut...

Edited October 2, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[Hewey]

Heh Bischoff punked the shit out of Waltman until Waltman brought up the Clique. I'm looking forward to seeing Flair deal with Waltman

BTW it's Atlanta, Georgia not Florida brah

[TMM]

Heh Bischoff punked the shit out of Waltman until Waltman brought up the Clique. I'm looking forward to seeing Flair deal with Waltman

BTW it's Atlanta, Georgia not Florida brah

←

How the fuck did I get Georgia and Florida mixed up? Jeez...

By the way, expect a different, less (if that's possible) play-by-play Thunder. The promos and backstage 'skits' and stuff will be the written focus with the matches getting much more of a cut-down highlight feel. I know that my match writing is horrible and repetitive, so it'd be easier for me to concentrate more on making everything else a lot better than making the matches duller in an attempt to make them better...if that makes sense!

[BSchmaranz]

All I have to say is... good job making Waltman look extremely pathetic.

[TMM]

News          Columns          Superstars          Forum        Results          Upcoming PPV card

Sunday 5th August 2001

THE WEEKLY UPDATE

Wednesday 1st August

Sean Waltman has officially joined World Championship Wrestling as of today. We understand that Waltman handed in his notcie some time during Monday, several hours before Monday Night Raw was scheduled to begin. There is no 'official' official announcement from WCW, but the WWF posted a short notice on their website this morning that simply said he has left the company.

Usually when a wrestler leaves and WWF.com post a note, they would say something along the lines of "we wish him all the best in the future". Waltman got no such message.

Thursday 2nd August

This message appeared on the WCW wesbite earlier today. It's a very interesting competition with a very interesting prize:

ACCOMPANY KANYON TO RINGSIDE FOR HIS MATCH AT 'ROAD WILD'!

WCW United States champion has millions upon millions of fans; fans that would do anything to even catch a glimpse of their hero. Being such huge fans ourselves, we can understand why the greatest wrestler alive today is doing this. I mean, how damn COOL would it be to walk down to the ring at a major pay-per-view alongside a living legend like Chris Kanyon? Trust us, we know it is unbelievable!

So, do you want to accompany your hero to the ring at 'Road Wild' with us on Sunday August 26th? All you need to do is e-mail WCW.com and tell us how much of a HUGE Kanyon fan you are! If you truely are as bigger fan as us two, that should be easy! Leave your name and age and the winner will be informed by e-mail before the show!

Love Randy & Alexis

This is a one-shot deal competition, and it's a very interesting idea.

Sunday 5th August

MONDAY NITRO PREVIEW

Monday Nitro comes to you live from Salt Lake City, Utah, and boy is there a lot in store this Monday night!

The main event will see nWo member Scott Hall, Diamond Dallas Page and the man who wants to make an impact Jeff Jarrett going at it in a three-way dance with the fifth and sixth spots in the Elimination Chamber match at 'Road Wild' on the line! This is a one-fall to a finish match with the winner getting a direct route to the Elimination Chamber match at Road Wild, taking the fifth slot. The other two superstars, whoever they may be, will clash in the main event of the first ever Thunder on NBC this coming Friday night. The winner of that match will take the sixth and final spot, leaving the loser just that; a loser. He will not recieve a World Heavyweight title shot until the earliest date being January 1st 2002.

Confirmed Matches:

* Guido Maritato and Tony Mamaluke vs. the Mamalukes vs. the New Road Warriors

* Shawn Stasiak vs. Curt Hennig

* Cruiserweight title: Yang vs. 'Sugar' Shane Helms

* Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Scott Hall

By the way, the Kanyon competition thing is for you readers...sorta. Instead of writing anything, all you have to do is win the prediction contest for Road Wild and you will accompany Kanyon to ringside. Obviously not in reality coz that would be silly, but in me diary .

Edited December 22, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[Hewey]

Looking forward to Nitro, I think Hall's gonna lose his spot. I can see Hall interfering in the EC though. Hopefully you don't have Hall's interference in the EC backfiring on a nWo member and split Hall away from the group and what not. Though Hall/Waltman Vs. nWo could be interesting....... IMO it could either be Hall or DDP leaving the match, DDP could always do a run in or whatever.

BTW whatever happened to Chavo? Is he still injured? Or is he in rehab? I forgot about Chavo.

[TMM]

Looking forward to Nitro, I think Hall's gonna lose his spot. I can see Hall interfering in the EC though. Hopefully you don't have Hall's interference in the EC backfiring on a nWo member and split Hall away from the group and what not. Though Hall/Waltman Vs. nWo could be interesting....... IMO it could either be Hall or DDP leaving the match, DDP could always do a run in or whatever.

BTW whatever happened to Chavo? Is he still injured? Or is he in rehab? I forgot about Chavo.

←

Chavo was in rehab but is ready to go now. I'll bring him back soon.

[Guest Jebus]

Where are the Nitro and Raw ratings?

[TMM]

Where are the Nitro and Raw ratings?

←

I'm gonna start posting them in my NEXT weekly update thing. Reason I didn't do this one's was because I didn't have the RAW one written down, and I couldn't check it because I've already booked the next Nitro.

[TMM]

News          Columns          Superstars          Forum        Results          Upcoming PPV card

Monday 6th August 2001

We are LIVE in Salt Lake City, Utah

Our hosts are Tony Schiavone and…oh man…Scott Hudson. And I had such high hopes. Where’s Jerry “Friggin” Lawler gone?

Guido Maritato and Tony Mamaluke vs. the NEW Road Warriors vs. the Mamalukes

Ha ha ha. Surprisingly, I find the premise of this match to very very funny indeed. Right, I’m going to donate £15 to charity every time we get two WCW shows in a row that start of with actual wrestling! So, I won’t be donating any money to charity for that reason then… We’re told that this match is under ‘three-way dance tag team’ rules. So to you and me, one person from each team will be in the ring all the time. Tony Mamaluke, Animal and Big Vito start off and, predictably, the F.B.I. decide to team up and take on Animal. Both beat him against the ropes and whip him across the ring, but Animal comes back and takes them down with a double diving clothesline. Mamaluke tags in Guido, but Guido’s attempted ‘surprise attack off the top rope’ fails as he is caught in a chokeslam like grip, and Animal hoists him over his head before dropping him stomach first across his knee. Ow. Vito comes out of nowhere and takes down Animal with a running boot to the side of the head. Vito gets him up and tags in Johnny the Bull. They take Animal back down with a Russian legsweep/clothesline combo. The F.B.I. combinations work together to beat Animal up and down, left and right with Animal every now and again mounting a minute comeback for crowd pop but for either the Bull or Vito to lay him out again. It’s Mamaluke and the Bull in now and they try a double whip, but that just ain’t working on Animal today! They both telegraph it and Animal kicks the Bull in the face, clotheslines him and then powerslams Mamaluke before collapsing near his corner. He crawls over and gets the tag at the same time the Bull tags in Vito. Crash gets the vacuum and starts cleaning house! Crash takes down all four men about five times and then sends the Bull towards Animal who manages to set him up on his shoulders for Crash to go topside and nail the Doomsday Device! Animal gets clotheslined out of the ring straight after this by Vito and then out of nowhere Guido pops up and rolls up Crash for the…1…2…3! Out of NOWHERE is the key phrase here! The F.B.I. quickly retreat out of the ring leaving Crash in shock. Animal rolls in and they both shake their heads and curse their luck as the F.B.I. celebrate the win.

Rundown

Winners: Guido Maritato and Tony Mamaluke (8:56)

The was essentially a handicap match, but it worked well. Animal is only good for the occasional ‘nostalgic pop’ and of course, the sorta thing I hope he is doing right now; putting over others. If his team with Crash is to put Crash over, I’m fine with it. If this feud is going to lead to the F.B.I. getting some good wins over them, I’m good with it.

* - The F.B.I. really seem to be gelling now, and I like the whole gimmick. Now, some more air time would be nice. Oh, the match was ok.

We get a video from last weeks Nitro showing the outcome of the Diamond Dallas Page/Scott Hall match where Jeff Jarrett ran in and made the match a no-contest. We then hear the announcement of tonight’s three-way dance main event from Eric Bischoff. We also see the ending of the main event with Goldberg pinning Nash before getting pummelled by the nWo afterwards. The vid ends with Nash standing over Goldberg. The video does actually go somewhere as the nWo’s music hits and the group come out to the ring! Hall is going to go first, as he has the mic.

Hall: Hey yo…hey, hey! We don’t want cheers holmes! Just start booing us again because we all know that the moment one of us says something insulting about one of your favourite wrestlers or about this little town here, you’ll start the booing. I’ll tell you what; if I insult DDP right now, will you boo us? It would mean a lot to us if you do (Nash and Michaels put their hands over their hearts and Trips does a praying motion). Page; you know last week was suppose to be the end for you, but you just don’t seem to get it! If you lay down and stay down, the pain will be over! But know, you had to try and fight back, and because of YOU, Jeff Jarrett stuck his damn nose where it didn’t belong; in nWo business! So because of YOU not laying down Page, we have a three-way dance tonight, and there’s a chance that one of us will lose our World title shot at ‘Road Wild’! Now, as I said last week, I have no interest in the belt while it’s around the waist of “Big Sexy” over here, but I know you sure do! So if you don’t win tonight…and then you don’t win Friday night, you’re screwed holmes! Simply put Page; if thing’s don’t go as planned at ‘Road Wild’, the New World Order will be holding you PERSONALLY responsible! That means you get beat down like a dog week after week until we see fit to let you take another breath! Just think about it Page, and do the right thing by losing and leaving this Elimination Chamber match to the professionals…to the nWo.

Hall passes the mic to Shawn Michaels! Yay!

Michaels: You know, I would like to personally apologise to both David Flair and Spanner. (Triple H whispers something into his ear) What? Oh!!! Sorry there man! Crowbar, I meant Crowbar. I got you mixed up with another wrestler named Spanner! Easy mistake to make! Anyway, I’m sorry I kicked you two in the mouth…my foot slipped! Anywho, everything is all dandy now because you two did good! I mean, your team managed to beat two guys from the NWO!!! You know what that means; that means that you’ve put yourselves on the map! Ok, neither of YOU two got the pin, but it means that you have bragging rights! It means, it means…it means that the next time you two cross paths with any of us you’ll get another serious beating! One that will leave you with a bit more than a bloody lip and a couple of bruises. The first one is a message; the second is a warning that you’re on the nWo’s hit list! Next time be prepared for some broken bones and a DAMN severe concussion at the very least. The nWo is here to stay; you two are replaceable…

Michaels hands the microphone to Triple H for what could be the last word coz the first break should be coming up soon…

Triple H: All this talk of beatings is getting me in the mood to dish out a beating or two! Do you know who is on my list…Booker T. Book man, you tried to hang with one of us because you wanted to end the nWo before it started, but Nash kicked your ass and took your belt. Now, I ain’t seen you since you lost to Kevin a couple of weeks back, but something tells me you ain’t smart enough to stay away from the nWo! You wanna make a name for yourself as the man that kills the nWo! Well Booker…you know, and so do all of these idiots in this arena know as well as I do that it’s never going to happen! But one thing hit me the other day; we were suppose to have ourselves a match, me and you. But you never got the chance to play the game and fight me Book! So, if you think you have the guts…me and you, right here, next week on Nitro! Just me…and you. No Scott Hall! No Shawn Michaels! No Kevin Nash, just me and you, one-on-one Book; whatd’ya say? Can you play the game?

Trips passes the mic back to Hall, and methinks this should be quick coz break time is surely knocking on the door.

Hall: Now very quickly, because that stupid idiot over there is trying to cut our time short by saying a break is coming up! Jarrett! I have no problem with you trying to make an impact holmes, but making an impact on the nWo; well, that’s just plain stupid on your part boy! But you know what Jeff; tonight we got a three-way dance, me, you and DDP, and I think that we should work together and kick the crap out of Page…don’t you? We’ve had problems with him in the past, we both hate the guy, so me and you work together to take him down and we’ll both be in the Elimination Chamber match. See you in the main event boys.

Hall drops the mic and Nitro goes to a commercial break almost immediately. Would’ve made more sense to take the break after the first match, but since when has WCW ever had any sense?

Commercial Break

We’re back and we’re…in the back! Clever that. Anyway, we’re in Chris Kanyon’s locker room, and he has both Randy and Alexis there…and some random fella. Randy has a chinlock locked in on this random dude.

Kanyon: That’s it Randy! You’ve learnt the chinlock! Let’s try another move…oh I know! A WRISTLOCK!!! That’s a dangerous move!

Randy: Are you sure I’ve mastered the chinlock? I think I should keep it locked in for a little longer I mean, Scott Steiner uses the chinlock and people tap out to it!

Kanyon: Yes yes, but Scott Steiner’s arms are as thick as a tree; your arms are as thick as this here pencil…well, the pencil is a little thicker, but in any event, use the chinlock as transitional move! You know; where down the opponent and SLAP on the chinlock to make him hurt some! Then after that pick him up and hit the greatest finishing move in WRESTLING yesterday, today and tomorrow…the Flatliner!

Alexis: Wow Mr. Kanyon…you really are a wrestling god! Can I touch your pecs please?

Kanyon: Of course you can my dear. Here you go…(Kanyon places Alexis’ hand on his right pec…ha, that feels so odd writing that!)

Randy: Can I touch them as well?

Kanyon: Wha…um, I…ok…(a HUGE smile appears on Randy’s face as he starts stroking the pec…ew…)

???: Well, this looks to be an interesting session you’re having here…I’m not interrupting anything am I?

The camera swings round and reveals Curt Hennig standing in the doorway! Kanyon quickly pushes Alexis and Randy away and stands up, doing his most masculine pose.

Kanyon: Of course you’re not! I was just teaching Randy some vital wrestling moves!

Hennig: And what were you teaching him then eh; the nipple twist?

Kanyon: I uh…I was showing him what he could be if he follows my lead! If he keeps learning from the master that is the Innovator of Offence…he’ll be a WCW superstar in no time.

Hennig: And who might this ‘Innovator of Offence’ be?

Kanyon: You need to ask; it’s ME of course!

Hennig: Oh yes, I see! That ‘chat show’ you did last week? That was offensive. The idea that you are the greatest wrestler alive? That’s offensive because you are looking at pure perfection right here. And next week, this Ryan Wing kid is going to beat Mr. Lover Boy here to a pulp…

Hennig spits out his gum and slaps it towards Randy, hitting him in the eye! Randy screams in pain as Alexis checks on him. Hennig winks, smirks and walks out leaving Kanyon fuming.

WCW Cruiserweight title: Yang w/ Kaz Hayashi and Leia Meow vs. ‘Sugar’ Shane Helms ©

Mmmm, Leia. I actually prefer Princess Leia, but this Leia is a damn good alternative! Anyway this match should be very fun indeed…if I can keep up. Great thing about this match is that both Yang and Helms can work mat-based and aerial based cruiserweight matches. You’ll forgive me if this match degenerates into me looking at Leia won’t you? Lock-up, northern-lights from Helms quickly gets the first near fall after about 5 seconds! Yang nips up and tries a spinning heel kick, but Helms dodges and tries a dropkick, which Yang dodges and then tries to roll him up for a very near fall. We get some “slow” cruiserweight action (I.E. more mat based without the flying around all the time stuff) between the two, showcasing one another’s moves to the world. Helms is mostly dominant through the match, but misses the Sugar Smack and Yang gets a dragon screw to take him down. Yang goes up top for Yang Time, but Helms rolls out of the way and Yang misses. Yang gets back up, as does Helms and Helms hits the Vertebreaker to get the…1…2…3 and successfully defends his title.

Rundown

Winner and STILL WCW Cruiserweight champion: Shane Helms (6:54)

Good match as usual with the cruisers, especially Helms and Yang. Was to short to be much more than ‘good’.

* - To short; hopefully the Knoble/Helms match on Thunder is given more time.

Helms gets handed his title, but gets jumped from behind by Malice! The big son of a bitch came running down the ramp as soon as Helms hit the Vertebreaker. Malice hit a big sit-out powerbomb. Jamie Knoble slowly walks down the ramp with a big smirk on his smarmy little face. Malice is tossing Helms around like a rag doll and then wraps a steel chair around his ankle and stomps on it a couple of times before jumping off the top rope with a big stomp! A nice big pre-recorded crack is heard and Helms rolls around in pain. Jamie Knoble picks up the Cruiserweight title and Malice puts Knoble on his shoulders. Helms is all excited about holding the belt and we go to a break with him sitting up top.

Commercial Break

Shawn Stasiak w/ Stacy Keibler vs. Curt Hennig

The master of the Hennig Plex vs. the master of the…the master of the…vs. Shawn Stasiak. Well, at least he has Stacy Keibler, which means he has something no other folk has. Anyway, lock-up starts of course, and Hennig makes the transition from headlock to a go-behind to a high backdrop seem as easy as picking your nose. Well, unless you get some of the really hard ones that are stuck at the back, those are hard to get at. Some perfect, crystal clean wrestling from the incomparable Curt Hennig here, and Stasiak actually holds his own in the ring with a legend like Curt. Curt is one of the older folks who can still go. Sting and Ric Flair are another two I guess. Bubba Rogers, Kevin Nash, Animal, Funk and the Steiner’s just…can’t. Out of all the guys on the roster who are in their late 30’s or over, Curt Hennig, Sting and Ric Flair are the only ones I really wanna see in the ring, let alone near a main event. Anyhow, a really good match develops between the two of them with Hennig looking great. He looks as though is right back in ring shape, and that’s nothing but good news for WCW. We get our first ref bump of the night (!) when Stasiak squished him in the corner by accident in an attempt to kill Hennig. Hennig dodged the bullet and hit the Hennig-Plex for what should’ve been the end, but there was no referee. Out of nowhere though, Chris Kanyon comes running down the aisle and nails Hennig right between the eyes with his United States title belt! He drapes Stasiak across Hennig, gets out of the ring and shakes the referee who makes the three count, ruining a really good match. Kanyon goes in the ring and looks at Hennig lying on the mat, but he looks up in fear as Ken Shamrock’s music hits! Shamrock runs to the ring, sending Kanyon fleeing up the ramp. Shamrock checks on Hennig and then spots Stasiak getting up. Stasiak smiles, waves…and runs! Shamrock grabs his trunks and pulls him toward him and hits a belly-to-belly just because he feels like it.

Rundown

Winner: Shawn Stasiak (9:23)

A good match totally ruined by the ending. BUT…if it leads to a Kanyon/Hennig feud I’m all for it.

* ½ - Good match ruined by the end. Stick ‘em together in a proper full match and, even though SHAWN STASIAK is involved, it would be some good watching!

We cut to the back where Eric Bischoff is in his office, and I believe he has something to say.

Bischoff: Hello there to all our loyal viewers watching Monday Nitro at home on NBC tonight. If you’re wondering why you have been graced with my presence on screen rather than out there in the arena well…I couldn’t be bothered to get up and come out. But I have two special announcements to make for ‘Road Wild’ on Sunday the 26th of this month. First off; there will be a Hardcore title match! A four-way dance with one-fall making the finish. It will be the Hardcore champion himself Rob Van Dam against his ‘enforcer’ Big Bubba Rogers against the legendary Terry Funk, and last but certainly not least…Tommy Dreamer! Well, now that that is out of the way, onto more pressing maters like…the Elimination Chamber match. Six wrestlers walk in, but only one is left standing, and that one will be the World Heavyweight champion come the end. The chamber is just that; a chamber, a steel chamber at that, with four separate inner chambers holding four of the six superstars. Two randomly drawn superstars will start the match, with another being added randomly every seven minutes. There are no disqualifications…and there are NO pinfalls! That’s right; I said no pinfalls. I hear you all wondering how do you win? The Elimination Chamber is the epitome of pain; if you go in even less than 100% fit and ready for it, you will NOT walk out of this match under your own power! In fact, only the winner truly has a chance of WALKING out of this one, you see…the way to win is by making your opponent submit, make them say I quit you know. Squeal because the pain is excruciating. The other way is to knock your opponent out for a 10 count. Knock them out COLD so that they are not moving. Keep them down on the for the referee’s ten count, and that person will be eliminated. There will be THREE referees for this match; two inside and one outside to make sure that NOTHING is missed. Now this week will decide who will join Booker T, Triple H, Goldberg and the World Heavyweight champion in the Elimination Chamber. One out of three men will not make it there. Will that man be Diamond Dallas Page? Will it be Scott Hall? Will it be Jeff Jarrett? Who knows, but what you can be sure of is a damn good match. Oh, and one last thing before I go tonight…I’ll be leaving my post as WCW President within the next couple of weeks. Don’t worry, a replacement is lined up. I know you’re wondering why such a charismatic guy like myself would be stepping down. Well, it’s simple really…a new power is taking over WCW; a power that, unfortunately, I do not have the qualifications to be a part of. But don’t worry, because once I leave as President, don’t expect that to be the last you see of me, oh no…I’ll be back. Enjoy the rest of the show, and don’t forget; Thunder is live on NBC FRIDAY night…

Wow, this Elimination Chamber has really got me interested now. Something totally new and totally fresh usually sparks at LEAST a little interest. The fact Goldberg is going to be in this match gives the ‘knockout’ stipulation some form of legitimacy because his gimmick is that of hard-hitter. Also, I wonder who’s replacing Bischoff?

Commercial Break

We’re back from the break, and in the back is Booker T and he runs into Kevin Nash! Why, realistically, would a cameraman just so happen to be following him when he runs into Nash?

Nash: Well, well, well; if it isn’t the FORMER World Heavyweight champion Booker T. How ya been Book? Haven’t seen you around in quite some time!

Booker: Nash…why don’t you just shut it dawg? I ain’t been here in a while I know…but you wanna know why man?

Nash: Sure…why not?

Booker: Coz I’ve been talking to two friends of mine; two friends who you and you’re nWo buddies beat up on the first Nitro!

Nash: So…? Who cares about them?

Booker: Every single one of these fans in this arena does! So do I for that matter! In case you didn’t get it…I’m talking about Sting and Ric Flair!

Nash: I know who you’re talking about Booker…what’s your point?

Booker: Well, apparently…they’re on the mend, and they’re gonna be coming back pretty soon. I don’t know when, but all I do know is…they’re coming back with something to say. Apparently, it might have something to do with you.

Nash: Who cares what two washed up old farts have to say?

Booker: If that’s your attitude, it’s fine by me, but I felt like warning you dawg. Oh, one last thing; tell Triple H…he’s ON! Now can you dig that…

Nash: Yeah I can dig that you stupid fool…

Nash walks off a little flustered, leaving Booker upset he didn’t get to finish his catchphrase.

Evan Karagias and Shannon Moore vs. Palumbo and O’Haire

Well, another mention of some form of announcement. If you ask me, it’s a little silly coz it just became pretty apparent that they’re related. I expect Flair to be named the new President or something. Does beg the question why Bischoff would step down, so it’s probably a little something else. Anyway, I expect a nice and easy squash here, and it starts off as is expected. Palumbo and Karagias start, and Karagias shows that he will be a lower-midcarder/opener/jobber for the rest of his career by taking a shit kicking from both Palumbo and O’Haire. They do let Moore get the tag in, but I think it just might be a tag that says ,“come on little lamb! This way to the slaughterhouse,” although I could be wrong. Nope; some more serious ass kicking ensues here with the men who will challenge for the Tag Team titles at ‘Road Wild’ making successive tags. The end of the match comes about when one of the champs, Lance Storm walks down to the ring! O’Haire, not in the mood for this goes out and attacks him. the referee, being plain stupid follows him out to break it up and of course misses Mike Awesome running in through the crowd and hitting Palumbo with a big Awesome Bomb and draping Evan Karagias over him. Awesome quickly vacates the premises and the referee comes back and counts his shoulders down…1…2…3 despite O’Haire trying to catch up and break it up. The champs walk up the aisle with their belts in hand, taunting the losers of the match. They walk up backwards and Mike Awesome gets clocked in the head with a steel chair! Storm goes down next as Billy Kidman is waving it around! Kidman shows his ‘charisma’ by pointing at the fallen champs and then pointing at the chair. He also shouts, “August 26th guys! August 26th!” before pointing in the ring and shouting, “You won’t walk out winners guys!” Very clever Billy.

Rundown

Winners: Evan Karagias and Shannon Moore (4:41)

Well, considering it was a squash, it was a long one. Too long for that matter. Why go for a four minute SQUASH? Granted, the last minute was taken up by the interference, but the crowd were bored shitless here because it was a big long squash.

½ * - Crap.

We go to black screen after some ‘production trouble’. The screen fizzles in and out for a little bit until it settles on a blacky-purple screen. Hmmm…interesting. Wait…it’s Daffney! She walks onto the screen looking all lost and confused and then sees the camera and jumps back in shock. She’s dressed in ‘rags’ is the best way to describe it. But she’s got the blue hair, so it’s all good.

Daffney: Have you heard? Have you seen it? Do you know? Do you understand the significance? He’s coming! He’s coming soon! Don’t be afraid; he won’t hurt you…unless he wants to. Then you had better run…run and hide! He’s coming! He’s COMING!

The video cuts and fizzles out again and we return to ringside where Schiavone and Hudson discuss what in the BLUE hell Daffney was on about. Ha, blue hell. Anyway, I’m not really sure who she’s on about, but they’re hyping him up good, so I expect a (semi) major push. Then again, this is WCW so for all I know he could just be another jobber!

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett w/ Symphony vs. Diamond Dallas Page w/ Kimberly

Before they come out, we get a split screen of all three men walking towards the ring with a graphic saying “Elimination Chamber role on the line”. First out is Jarrett and Symphony, and we get little ‘squares’ with Hall in one and DDP in the other showing them warming up. Neat. Anyway, after all three men are out, Hall protests to the referee about the presence of Symphony and Kimberly at ringside; the referee ignores him. Hall then tries another tactic by going over and whispering something in Jarrett’s ear. “The Chosen One” is cautious, but nods his head in approval. Oh, evil heels double-team; hell yeah! The heels charge DDP, who ducks Jarrett and knocks Hall over with a kick to the gut before going to work on Jarrett for a bit. Hall gets up, and DDP splits his time by going from one to the other in quick punches and kicks before banging their heads together! Jarrett falls to the mat, and DDP then takes down Hall with the Diamond Cutter! He covers him…1…2…Jarrett breaks up the pin. He sets up Page for the Stroke, but DDP blocks it, spins around and hits the Diamond Cutter on him! 1…2…Hall drops an elbow but DDP moves and Hall hits Jarrett in the chest! DDP is still going strong here. Scoop slam sends Hall to the mat, and DDP signals for another Diamond Cutter. He stalks Hall and waits for him to get to his feet. When he does he grabs the neck but Hall shoves him in the direction of Jarrett who takes his head off with a big clothesline. Jarrett smirks, and Hall applauds him. The numbers finally catch up on, and the heels double-team the outnumbered DDP. We get a double-suplex, double-back elbows and some other typical double-team stuff. Eventually, the heels realise only one can win. Scott Hall signals for Jarrett to hit the Stroke, and Jarrett does just that, taking Page down with the Stroke. Hall then smirks and quickly picks Jarrett up and hits the Outsiders Edge, dissolving their little partnership. He covers Jarrett, but Page manages to stop the pin very close to the three count. We get a little brawling between the two, but the beating DDP’s taken is to much and he falls victim to a Fallaway Slam. Hall gets up and turns round to see Jeff Jarrett staring at him. Jarrett yells at him for hitting the Edge on him, and Hall tries to make it clear that it’s everyman for himself. Jarrett is all like “this relationship is over bitch” and starts to hammer away at Hall. They exchange blows for a bit until Hall takes advantage, firing him into the ropes and into the corner. Hall whips him across the ring, but when Jarrett comes back towards him he turns round behind him and hit’s the Stroke! Jarrett stays down, and Hall rolls out of the ring. DDP slowly recovers and just about manages to pick Jeff Jarrett up. As soon as Jarrett is on his feet he kicks DDP in the gut and hits the Stroke! Jarrett rolls on top of him and the referee counts…1…2…3! Jarrett wins! Jarrett wins! Jeff Jarrett is in the Elimination Chamber match! Symphony gets into the ring and helps Jarrett to his feet. The two hug and Jarrett celebrates his big win as Nitro goes off the air.

Rundown

Winner and wrestler to advance to the Elimination Chamber match: Jeff Jarrett (14:45)

Considering it was a three-way dance, which are usually pretty crappy, this one was decent-to-good. A hot crowd added to it of course, but the commitment of all three guys (including Scott Hall!!! Shock horror!) helped it a tonne.

** ¼ - See above for my god damn reasoning.

Edited December 22, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[TMM]

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Tuesday 8th August 2001

WCW THUNDER PREVIEW

WCW is proud to present to you the first ever WCW Friday Thunder to be aired on on NBC! This Friday night sees the inaugural show come to you from Salt Lake City, Utah, and four big matches have been made for this special night.

The one that is eagerly awaited and is the main event of the night is the match between nWo member Scott Hall and Diamond Dallas Page to decide who will take the last spot in the Elimination Chamber match on August 26th in Portland, Oregon at 'Road Wild' whereas the loser will not recieve a World Heavyweight title match until AT LEAST January of next year. Monday Nitro saw Jeff Jarrett take the fifth spot by defeating both DDP and Hall in a three-way dance match. WCW President Eric Bischoff has made the ruling that should anybody interfere in this match, there would be severe consequences. Bischoff would not elaborate on what these 'consequence' were, but he said he would address them prior to the main event on Friday.

In a match to determine who gets the rights to decide the stipulation for the WCW United States title match between Chris Kanyon and Ken Shamrock at 'Road Wild', Eric Bischoff has stated that each man will have a representative in a match to be held tonight. Kanyon will have his protege and fan Randy wrestling the match, while Shamrock has a stage hand named Ryan Wing. Neither has any wrestling experience, and whoever win, the superstar who they represented will be able to name the stipulation for the match at 'Road Wild'.

Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio Jr. were looking to regain the WCW Tag Titles at 'Road Wild', but due to an injury to Mysterio sustained at the hands of O'Haire, Mysterio cannot compete for around a month. But, not to rob Kidman of a rematch, Eric Bischoff has aloud Kidman to find a new partner. If Kidman and this partner are able to win the match on Thunder against the Yung Dragons, there will be a three-way dance at 'Road Wild' for the Tag Team titles!

The WCW Cruiserweight title is on the line on Thunder as Jamie Knoble finally gets another chance to win the title as he takes on the current champion, 'Sugar' Shane Helms. But the champion does not have the advantage for two reasons. One; he was the victim of a vicious attack by Malice in which he may have suffered a broken ankle. Two; Malice himself. Knoble is bound to have his bodyguard at ringside or at least somewhere nearby when these two clash. Helms knows he is in for a tough ride, but he is ready for it.

Confirmed Matches:

* WCW Cruiserweight title: Jamie Knoble vs. 'Sugar' Shane Helms ©

* Billy Kidman and a partner to be named vs. the Jung Dragons

* Randy (Kanyon's representitive) vs. Ryan Wing (Shamrock's representitive)

* Sixth spot in the Elimination Chamber on the line: Scott Hall vs. Diamond Dallas PAge

Edited December 22, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[Hewey]

Great Nitro, Sucks that Hall lost but atleast Jarrett's getting pushed back into the main event which is realistic since wCw had a hard on for Jeff. I still think Hall will lose on Thunder which could mean a nWo member is taking the belt at the chamber. Either HHH will win it or Nash is retaining. Or someone could have it till the end of the year when Hall is eligible to get his shot causing conflict. That is if Hall does lose to DDP. Looking forward to Thunder. My pick for Kidman's partner is Shannon Moore or Chavo Guerrero

Edited October 5, 2004 by Baby Hewey

[edcq]

good Nitro . . . Eventhough i don't like Jarret, it's very realistic that he would be part of such a historic moment in WCW history.

[TMM]

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Friday 10th August 2001

Our hosts for the inaugural WCW Friday Thunder are the “Professor” Mike Tenay and Stevie (not Steven; Stevie!) Richards.

- If you listen to rumours, Thunder is set to be a ‘B+’ or an ‘A-‘ sorta show. Meaning (using the WWF as an example) better than Sunday Night Heat but not as good as SmackDown, if that makes any sense. Don’t expect much of note to happen on Thunder (other than tonight) if you believe the rumours. Unfortunately, I do.

The Jung Dragons are already in the ring when Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson come out, and I’m taking a wild guess he’s gonna introduce his tag team partner. Some of the names thrown about have been Juventud Guerrera, La Parka, Konnan and Chavo Guerrero Jr. I don’t know why, but I, unlike many other people, I don’t expect the partner to be a let-down. Don’t know why. Anyway, Kidman has a microphone in hand. God save us all.

Kidman: ‘Road Wild’ is going to be on August 26th, and I intend to be a part of the show. I’m not just talking about being there; I’m talking about challenging for the WCW Tag Team titles! It was going to be me and my buddy Rey Mysterio Jr. but thanks to O’Haire, he isn’t going to be available for the match, or for a few months. Thanks to Eric Bischoff, he told me to go and find a partner and if we could beat these the Jung Dragons, we would get a shot at the Tag Team titles in Portland, Oregon at ‘Road Wild’. So without further ado, I give to you my new tag team partner…SEAN WALTMAN!!!

My first reaction to this was ‘WHAT? They’re linking Waltman up with Kidman?’ I thought the idea was to stick him in the nWo? Oh well, it’s a swerve…I thought Vince Russo got fired? But in the end, I do like the idea.

Jung Dragons w/ Leia Meow vs. Billy Kidman and Sean Waltman

Ok, I still expect a pretty awesome match here. Waltman can sure as hell go when he’s motivated, and he sure as hell looks motivated to me right now! Waltman is still wearing a bandana. I don’t think that damn thing ever comes off his head! A seriously good match ensued here with all four men wearing their ‘let’s make tonight memorable’ boots. The faces started off hot as hell here getting straight into the Dragons. Essentially a squash here, with the Dragons getting in a little bit of offence every now and again, but not too much. Waltman popped the crowd with his signature bronco buster and lighting kicks (called as such by Tenay). Kidman got the crowd popping as well with his stuff, and got an especially good pop when Yang realised that ‘you can’t powerbomb Kidman’ as he reversed it into the BK Bomb. Kaz Hayashi tried to hit a Michinoku Driver on Kidman, but Waltman pulled Kidman down and away before hitting the X-Factor (Tenay calls it ‘the face buster’. Ok, creative, we have a job for you…) and covering him for the 1…2…3.

Rundown

Winner: Sean Waltman and Billy Kidman (7:19)

A good match, but I wanted more time. No chance of that of course, but a guy can hope can’t he? Anyway, this partnership actually has caught my interest and has me excited about the tag division now. Off the top of my head I can think of eight tag teams, and that’s not even counting the different sets off F.B.I. and nWo teams.

* ¾ - A match involving four cruiserweights where the high-flying craziness wasn’t in full effect? I like it.

Commercial Break

We’re back and we some random kid walking around backstage. Ah, Stevie Richards points at that this kid is Ryan Wing, the guy that will represent Ken Shamrock against Randy later tonight. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Chris Kanyon and co. came from nowhere and beat seven bells of shit out of him. Kanyon finished the beating by powerbombing him through a nearby table.

Kanyon: I guess Shamrock has no representative now! That means he forfeits and I get to choose the stipulation! Bad luck there kid.

Hmmm, methinks it won’t be that easy Chris. Sorry bout that.

WCW Cruiserweight title: Jamie Knoble w/ Malice vs. ‘Sugar’ Shane Helms

Two mat-based cruiserweights that can fly…I prefer them like that instead of the other way round. Anyway, I’m expecting a great match, but I need to keep it in my head that this is WCW, so I’m not expecting the match to go much longer than seven or eight minutes…if that. But this match will be good no matter how long it goes because both guys are damn good in the ring. And of course, they impress. Helms, we’re told, has his ankle heavily taped under his boot, but he isn’t limping. That’s soon taken care of when Knoble dodges a double-axe handle attack midway through the match and the ankle buckles. Knoble, like a shark smelling blood pounces on the leg and locks in a Texas cloverleaf. Helms was, obviously in pain because he was yelping out loud while trying to reach the bottom rope. Malice then went and stood in front of Helms and started yelling at him. Helms tried in vain to grab his face leaving Malice just laughing at him. So Helms spat in his face! Ha ha! Malice nearly snapped, but instead just pulled the bottom rope out of Helms’ reach. The ref saw this and the ordered Jamie Knoble to break the hold. After a four count by the ref, Knoble did and both Knoble and Malice yelled at the ref, asking why he made him break it. Referee Daniel Jackson was sick of Malice and ordered him to the back, which neither Malice or Knoble were to happy about, as you can imagine. After Malice finally started to leave, Knoble turned round and walked straight into the Sugar Smack from the champion! Helms thought he had the match won, but Knoble had his foot on the rope. Helms was in a lot of pain, and started to visibly limp a lot more. But he fired off some good shots and was in control for the remainder of the match, but really fucked it up by going to the top rope. He came off, going for an axe-handle, but Knoble semi-dodged it with Helms only grazing him, but Helms landed on his ankle and just collapsed in pain and started to scream in…well, pain. Knoble shook off the cobwebs and quickly locked in a REVERSE sharpshooter! Just a damn cool visual here. Helms is in a shit load of pain but refuses to tap out. Knoble really leans back on it, forcing Helms to slowly wear himself out by grabbing for the ropes to no avail. The referee continues to ask him if he’s going to quit, but he says no a couple of times before he stopped responding. The fans were really willing him on here, which kinda surprised me a little. The ref lifted the arm twice…no response. Third time and…IT DROPS! Helms passed out from the pain! Jamie Knoble is the new Cruiserweight champion! Malice returns to ringside and we get a copy of the celebration from Nitro with Malice hoisting Knoble on his shoulders.

Rundown

Winner and NEW Cruiserweight champion: Jamie Knoble (13:32)

Well, the match got about five minutes more than I expected and they really told the story here. Started a little slow, but that’s fine with me. A mixture of styles were thrown into the match. The match was pure awesomeness from the cruisers. I hope this leads to either a rematch or something bigger for Helms, because he certainly has the fan support and the natural charisma for it.

**** - Best match WCW has put in since the re-launch.

Commercial Break

We’re back, and I’ve just got off the phone with a friend who’s recording Thunder. I’ve demanded he give me the damn tape, but he’s refusing. Stupid me for not recording it. Stupid, stupid. Anyway, the WCW United States champion Chris Kanyon leads out Alexis and the man who will compete tonight on his behalf, Randy. Randy has some naff looking tights on, which makes it really funny actually. Anyway, Kanyon has a microphone so here we go.

Kanyon: Mr. Referee, I just want to let you know that I don’t think this Bryan Winger kid is coming tonight. I heard he’s in the local hospital getting some wood removed from his skull. So, for that reason it seems that he will not be competing, and such that Randy should be announced as the winner giving me jurisdiction to name the stipulation for my match with Ken Shamrock at ‘Road Wild’. So ring the bell, raise Randy’s hand and proclaim him the wi…

Bischoff: I don’t think so Chris…

Told you it wasn’t that easy Chris, but did he listen to me; no. President Bischoff is out!

Bischoff: You see, we all know what happened to Ryan Wing…we all saw you three attack the defenceless kid in the back, and because of that…

Kanyon: Randy wins? I choose the stipulation?

Bischoff: No you…no, just no. In fact, this match will go ahead, but with one change.

Kanyon: Change? Change? What change?

Bischoff: Seen as Ryan Wing is in the hospital, I see it as my duty to announce…his replacement (big pop…I think we all know who it’s gonna be). So without any further ado, I give to you the man who will face Randy in that very ring right now…KEN SHAMROCK!!!

Shamrock comes out of the curtain’s, and Randy is shitting a brick by the look of it.

Stipulation match: Randy w/ Chris Kanyon and Alexis vs. Ken Shamrock

Randy is pleading with Kanyon to help him, but before he can do anything Ken Shamrock runs down to the ring, sending Kanyon and Alexis to the hills. Randy gives a terrified wave at Shamrock before dropping to his knees and pleading with him not to murder him. Randy is crying! Ha ha! The bell rings and Randy’s punishment begins. Shamrock with a Gorilla-press drop, a belly-to-belly and then he finally settles on the Ankle Lock! About half a second into the hold, Randy taps and screams like a girl giving Shamrock the choice of match for ‘Road Wild’. Shamrock leaves the ring with the announcers saying Shamrock will reveal the stipulation Monday on Nitro.

Rundown

Winner: Ken Shamrock (1:59)

We get a video of another “He’s Coming” video which is pretty much the same as all the previous ones for this guy, but this one has got clips of Daffney’s little promo in there as well.

We’re back at ringside and it’s time for the main event. We get a brief rundown of Nitro’s three-way dance main event and then it’s Eric Bischoff time…again.

Bischoff: I know the main event match between Scott Hall and Diamond Dallas Page is scheduled for right not, but I have an announcement to make that will take but a minute. Now…Scott Hall and DDP have had a couple of matches scheduled against one another that have just ended without a winner or have ended in controversy. Nothing of the sort will happen tonight. Tonight is the night where this war ENDS once and for all! The winner gets a chance to become WCW champion, and quite frankly I couldn’t care less who goes on to the most innovative match in wrestling history. BUT…I know at least three guys in the back who will have their money on Scott Hall, and they are the nWo; Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Kevin Nash. You’ve also got the element of Jeff Jarrett going round swinging guitars as well as Page’s wife Kimberly at ringside. On that note, I am BANNING everyone from ringside! I do NOT want to see any superstars within 30-feet of this ring here except for Hall, DDP and the referee. If I do, they will be FIRED on the spot! Fired! Now, I mentioned three men a moment ago; Hall, DDP…and the referee. You see, because I know that the nWo don’t care about authority, and knowing them they will probably try and get involved in this match. So with that in mind…I have named a special guest referee for this contest! The man I have specially handpicked has not been on WCW broadcasting since June the 11th! He makes his return to WCW tonight as the special referee. Ladies and gentlemen (the fans are cheering very loud as they know who it is), may I introduce to you…the kiss-stealing, wheeling, dealing, jet-flying, limousine-riding son of a gun! Ladies and gentlemen…RIC FLAIR!!!

Eric Bischoff stepped out the way as Flair’s ‘2001’ theme plays and the Nature Boy strutted out in a referee shirt. Vince McMahon still wins the ‘Most Revealing Referee Shirt In History’ award for his frighteningly skin-tight and sleeveless effort. Flair strutted around the ring slapping hands with fans well into the commercial break.

Commercial Break

Sixth spot in the Elimination Chamber: Scott Hall vs. Diamond Dallas Page – Special Referee: Ric Flair

Back after a commercial and Flair is JUST now getting into the ring. Commercials are like five minutes in America aren’t they? Jeez. Hall is out first to a mixed reaction (leaning more towards boo’s). DDP comes out and gets a great reaction from the fans. DDP’s the sorta guy who will be over no matter what. I can actually see them placing the title on him at ‘Road Wild’. Well, if he beats Hall that is. This match is much like they’re one back in June in the US title tournament; which is a good thing actually, coz that match was pretty fun. But of course, this one was better because it had the Nature Boy! Hall was trying to cheat a little in the corner by ignoring Flair’s counts, so Flair got in the way to break it up. Hall let him know that he had no right in doing that to which Flair replies with a, “Whoooo.” Ha ha. Flair really showed how much fun he was having as after a clash of heads both men were down. Instead of the usual count of the ref, he let the fans count by motioning them on. What was really funny was after every number the fans said he would ‘whooo’ after it! This my friends is why Flair is God. Some good brawling from the two had the fans getting into it, and not just for Flair. A very near fall saw Hall take the advantage with a thumb to the eye and set DDP up on the top rope backwards. He then grabbed the arms and hoisted him up, walked into middle of the ring…and SMASH him down with the Outsiders Edge! Flair counted…1…2…DDP’s foot was on the rope and Flair broke it up. Hall got up and yelled at Ric for ‘trying to screw him’ out of the Elimination Chamber match. Flair just strutted off leaving Hall irate to tear at his own hair. The match came to a good conclusion with a nice ending. Hall had set DDP up in the position for the Outsiders Edge, but called for Flair to watch. He let out a ‘whooo’ of his own, but DDP managed to sneak out the back! Hall turned and DDP tried for the Diamond Cutter, but Hall pushed him off. DDP ran to the ropes and then ducked a clothesline before quickly grabbing Hall’s head and hitting the Diamond Cutter! Awesome. DDP reached back and hooked the leg as Flair counted…1…2…3! Scott Hall is out of the Elimination Chamber! Ric Flair helped Page to his feet and raised his hand as Kimberly came down to celebrate with her husband. The first Thunder on NBC went off the air with Ric Flair holding up DDP’s arm as he and Kimberly celebrated

Rundown

Winner: Diamond Dallas Page (16:34)

They can go 15 minutes-plus! If you take out Ric Flair though you’d probably be bored shitless if they had a 15 minute-plus match because his natural charisma just seems to rub off on everyone around him.

** ¾ - Better and longer (don’t usually go together in either a DDP or a Hall match) than their June match, and I for one really enjoyed it.

Edited December 22, 2004 by The_Monkey_Molester

[Hewey]

Good show, The chamber is looking pretty awesome even though Hall's not in it. I don't really care for Noble as champion since I could never get into him. Hopefully we get a Chavo/Noble feud down the line or someone takes the belt from Noble and feuds with a heel Chavo. Kidman/Waltman seems like a good team. Way better than just sticking Waltman in the nWo. Heh Randy getting the shit beat out of him by Kenny is awesome Looking forward to Nitro man keep up the great work