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metalman

Crusader Kings NOT GAMES OF THRONE

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Euron Greyjoy inspired my flagship:
image.png
 

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8403. A blonde Baratheon sits on the Iron Throne, Essos looks okay. Non_Essoi capital for a Baratheon held Storm's End...

 

Do tell. 

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57 minutes ago, Mick said:

8403. A blonde Baratheon sits on the Iron Throne, Essos looks okay. Non_Essoi capital for a Baratheon held Storm's End...

 

Do tell. 

Lemme boot up the game again. Presuming blonde Baratheons came into play around the time of Tyana Dondarrion (wife to Corwin I Baratheon, son of Bobby B) (in-game youngest child of Beric) or Janna Ambrose (wife to Renly I Baratheon...the ugly clubfooted grandson of Bobby B, not the book Renly. Game version of book Renly followed canon by marrying Margaery Tyrell who got somewhat T H I C C).


Got a ginger heir to look forward too thanks to my wife.

As for Storm's End, they've been disappointingly average. (...that and I'm console commanding the fuck out of weird bordergore situations) :shifty:

 

As for Essos, well....

GPpO5Ul.jpg

Two separate Free Cities of Pentos, two other separate Free Cities of Norvos (one of which is also held by the Pentos whose capital is not in the city of Pentos proper). No idea what the fuck is going on with Volantis, there's a Botley who's calling himself King of the Stepstones despite only ruling a single island. The previous Emperor of Yi Ti was a fucking Qartheen, Leng has gender-flipped their succession entirely to exclude women. Slaver's Bay is reasonably normal by comparison.

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The one thing that abbots me with this game is that if you don't sit on the Iron Throne, everything goes tits up. You're hot a king, you're a babysitter. 

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So, this is what would have happened in 1997 had DOA Crush won the King of the Ring:
image.png

 

I mean, how can I not appoint this guy to the Kingsguard?!

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When you start in 769 and are deciding who to invade:
 

 

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Boo to no Viking raids in Africa.

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26_12_what_cultures_now.jpg
Gualing.

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There's no point looking at that nice map, all you losers will ditch it to play whatever new third rate fantasy series floats your boat by the time the game comes out.

Edited by metalman
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1 hour ago, metalman said:

There's no point looking at that nice map, all you losers will ditch to play whatever new third rate fantasy series floats your boat by the time the game comes out.

SoJkwTf.jpg

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On 12/05/2020 at 11:53, metalman said:

There's no point looking at that nice map, all you losers will ditch it to play whatever new third rate fantasy series floats your boat by the time the game comes out.

You're an angry metalman.

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I am just passionate and energetic. You berk.

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On 30/03/2020 at 17:06, Mick said:

Euron Greyjoy inspired my flagship:
image.png
 

I hope you've got a strong hull. Don't want it to burst prematurely, after all.

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wow, aren't these Game of Thrones people really cool, naming their sword after a bloody Peter Gabriel song. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAME.

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Don't be absurd.

It's called that because GRRM is a big Kinnikuman fan and his favorite is Jaegar.

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