GoGo Yubari Ranks the James Bond Themes (Except the Main One)

[gunnar hendershow]

"Nobody Does It Better" is really the toughest song for me to place as well. Anywhere from 7th to 2nd, depending on mood. It's such an absolutely fantastic ballad, often imitated and never duplicated because you just can't. It's the Bond ballad done at a time when soft pop ballads were all the rage. The lyrics aren't the best, rhyming "me" with "me" being the prime example. But it's beautiful in so many ways, and the string section really completes it.

Plus, as I've been going through the whole Bond themes catalog myself lately this song above all the others has been stuck in my head on repeat. That says something too.

[Colly]

It just makes me think of this:

STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!

Can't see YouTube clips here anymore, but presuming its pretty much the one I posted a page earlier?

Also just forgot about the alternative version from the end of the film that sounds like a load of Navy types singing it whilst watching Bond porking whoever the girl was.

[METALMAN]

Do you think I pay much attention to your shitty posts? :/

[Colly]

You replied to that one, so yes?

[GoGo Yubari]

Okay, let's finish this. 3 and 2 in this post, 1 in a little while but definitely today.

3. "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" by John Barry

When I was about ten (or maybe eleven), I remember buying a double-CD with every Bond theme and various important instrumental songs on it. I think around this time I'd seen a few Bond movies but not all of them, and definitely not On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which I wrote off as being a Bond movie without Connery or Moore or Brosnan in it so not being one I needed to watch. And then I heard the theme. Like "Live and Let Die" and "You Know My Name," "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" is a game-change theme. Not only is it, in the pantheon of the official Bond themes, the only instrumental theme other than the first, but it's credited as the first notable use of the Moog synthesizer in a film soundtrack as well. That first moment where it kicks in in the song is the moment that captivated me as a kid and can still get me today, and it's such a riveting, fast-paced song in a way that no other Bond theme was until "Live and Let Die." It remains a personal favorite, and like fuck was I having my childhood favorite place anywhere outside of the top three.

2. "You Only Live Twice" by Nancy Sinatra

This is by far the best actual song in the Bond theme canon. It's so magnificent. The strings are one of the most iconic elements of any Bond song, up there with the surf guitar in the main theme, the, as we deemed it, "BAM" portion of "Live and Let Die," or basically Shirley Bassey in general. With "You Only Live Twice," it especially reentered my consciousness by being the song choice for the montage that ends season five of Mad Men, which was a helpful reminder of just how fucking good it is. I mean, I'm struggling for things to say about it because man, just listen to it. Seriously. Just listen to it. I'll be back with the #1 that was always going to be #1 a little later.

[Sousa]

#2! Perfectly acceptable.

[Colly]

The only bad thing about You Only Live Twice is that if you see the word 'Millennium', which you just have, its ruined.

[Sousa]

A guy from Take That doing a boring pop song that samples HASHTAG YOLT does not ruin a great song.

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

I knew that Goldfinger would be #1 though it was interesting seeing the placing of the other themes. I get your reason why OHMSS is your #3 but until I looked up all the themes a week ago I didn't even remember the song. Of course I've only seen OHMSS once.

[METALMAN]

I'm not sure about Goldfinger. I normally can't stand Shirley Bassey's tuneless caterwauling (except for Diamonds) and Goldfinger is quite possibly the worst example of it.

But on the other hand, it kind of works in the context of a James Bond film I suppose. Not that i really know what that is. I've only seen Die Another Day, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.

[Sousa]

It primarily wins because when you ask somebody "hey name a James Bond song" they'll immediately go "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD-FINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

[Ace]

The best thing about the OHMSS theme is the video clip having a montage of all of Connery's Bond films. They haven't done that with a Bond since.

[Sousa]

So I went back and listened to all of these a little bit ago (I'd heard roughly, I dunno, half. ish.), and wow, that Chris Cornell tune is really, really great. It's Chris Cornell-tastic (He's seen angels fall from blinding heights, guys!), but man, the dude can straight-up rock when he wants to.

[gunnar hendershow]

It's impossible for me to envision any other proper top 2. I've put my list together as well, with the same top 2, but the rest is different. Get to posting number 1 GoGoooooooldfingaaaaahhhh WAH WAAAAH WAH and then I'll post my list which wound up having more differences than I expected.

[GoGo Yubari]

1. "Goldfinger" by Shirley Bassey

Sousa nailed it. If you were to say "sing a song from James Bond," odds are first you get the main theme, and then second you get "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDFINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH." Sure, Shirley Bassey's singing style isn't for everyone. Sure, this is a song that rhymes "Midas touch" with "spider's touch." None of that matters. This is the first Bond theme played over the titles proper with vocals in it, and this is the theme that set the tone for a whole bunch of songs to come after (see: Tom Jones' high notes in "Thunderball," absolutely everything ever about "The Man With the Golden Gun" except the classic rock guitar). When some other form of pop culture wants to parody a Bond song, they use "Goldfinger" as the template for a reason. You know, like this;

It's not my favorite song on this list, but this isn't a list for my favorite songs. It's my list of what I think the best Bond themes are, and "Goldfinger" stands upon a tower overlooking them all.

Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting on this list, guys! I had fun doing it! I'm going to try and do more of these in the future. Next one is probably whatever the one metalman picks is.

[gunnar hendershow]

Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting on this list, guys! I had fun doing it! I'm going to try and do more of these in the future. Next one is probably whatever the one metalman picks is.

:/

[gunnar hendershow]

And without further ado, my own top 22.

22 - "All Time High" :: Because really, just terrible and has nothing to do with the movie.

21 - "Die Another Day" :: Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful, it's a worse song than "All Time High" but at least fits its movie

20 - "Goldeneye" :: I don't really hate this song, it's just uninteresting. Super, super uninteresting. It's really just there.

19 - "Another Way to Die" :: Again, a song that feels as if it's just there. It does nothing to try and be remembered by.

18 - "License to Kill" :: This initially started a lot higher on the list, but as I was going through these songs along with GoGo's list it just slid down. It's in the same class as the two right before it on the list, doesn't stick out in any manner.

17 - "For Your Eyes Only" :: Okay, we're now onto songs that have something that makes me remember them. This is an attempt to capture the magic of "Nobody Does It Better" of course. It turns into a decent attempt, it's just lacking a really magical feeling is the main problem with it in my eyes... only.

16 - "Moonraker" :: See above. It's ahead of "For Your Eyes Only" solely because of who is singing it.

15 - "The World Is Not Enough" :: It's reached a point where this song has just not stood the test of time. I like Garbage, a good bit actually, but this song as a Bond theme just feels out of place now in 2013. This is one of those songs where in 10 years it might be in the bottom 4 or 5 as it ages more and more.

14 - "From Russia With Love" :: I had no clue where to slot this in, anywhere from 12th to 18th. It's not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but I just can't get into Matt Monro. It has a bit of charm to it, at least more than anything else thus far.

13 - "The Man With the Golden Gun" :: It's fun, actually a lot of fun, but it's not deserving of being the class above this because despite the campiness and innuendo it gets boring on repeated listens.

12 - "Tomorrow Never Dies" :: Holds up much better than "The World Is Not Enough" as time passes. It's the last of the whole "well, these songs are basically interchangeable" group that's been going on since 17.

11 - "The Living Daylights" :: This song is fun, though definitely a step down from "A View to a Kill". It's catchy and fun though, something that I'd go out of my way to listen to if I was in the mood. It ushers in what is the case for this and the rest of the list, songs good enough to be on any playlist and not just a Bond playlist.

10 - "Skyfall" :: I have been on record saying that this song is a brave attempt by Adele to do a Shirley Bassey song. I stand by that. At times it feels like an Adele song, but it left me thinking that it just didn't click all the way. It should tell you something about Adele's natural talent though that this song manages to crack the top 10.

9 - "You Know My Name" :: This song clicks almost all the way. It likely will stand the test of time and be a song we look to as announcing to everyone just what the Craig films were going to be about. In 10-15 years this might climb even higher, we shall see.

8 - "Thunderball" :: It has its moments where it's just over-the-top. It has its moments where it's a great song. For the total package I think it's a good, not great song.

7 - "Live and Let Die" :: Yeah, I didn't know what to do with this one. It's McCartney, part of this song is truly fantastic, but I just can't get into it as much as I would like and I blame the random bit in the song where it just turns into a goofy attempt at reggae. A great song through and through, but just not as great Bond theme as the top 6.

6 - "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" :: Really an excellent instrumental song. I'm not sure what this is doing in 6 other than the top 5 are all songs I can't get out of my head, and I can get instrumental music stuck in my head easily.

5 - "A View to a Kill" :: Man, man, man, this is the best of the rock Bond themes by a good margin I think. Duran Duran just have the perfect sound for an 80's Bond movie, it's a shame that the movie featured Roger Moore when he was about 200 years too old to play Bond.

4 - "Nobody Does It Better" :: The ballad, it's really beautiful all the way through. There's not a weak point in the entire song, the opening video sequence is great, the emotion is all there. Everything just ties together so fluidly. I almost had this higher, but my top 3 is always going to be untouchable I think.

3 - "Diamonds Are Forever" :: For awhile it was my favorite Bond theme, thanks especially to Kanye West. I love the song, Bassey just carries this into territory not many singers could. There are no noticeable flaws with the song, it's a great package. It's an attempt to recapture the magic of "Goldfinger" and they come close.

2 - "You Only Live Twice" :: I would say I'm a bigger Nancy Sinatra fan than a Shirley Bassey fan if we're talking overall material. Nancy has more songs that are catchy, enjoyable, and accessible. This song is my absolute favorite by her. The entire song fits together perfectly and her voice carries it to a place nobody else could. It only loses out because it's not the song that started it all.

1 - "Goldfinger" :: Because there is no debate here, this song is the song that defines Bond. It has its flaws, specifically in the lyrics. If it were just standing on its own it would be a top 3 or 4 song, but add in the importance and there's no spot it fits besides this.

Well I had fun working on my list as GoGo went ahead with his, learning a lot about my actual tastes in Bond themes. I was surprised how the list came to resemble something that holds strictly to tradition and has a hard time embracing newer songs, I was not expecting that going in to this.

And hopefully others will now share their own lists.

[stokeriño]

I've only seen Die Another Day, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.

So 67% of your Bond experience has been trash? :/ That's a ratio you really need to set about improving.

[METALMAN]

Well I'm not really too bothered about seeing any others.

[Skummy]

No joke on nothing, pretty much every time I try and sing "Goldfinger", I ended up singing "Moon River".