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King Ellis' Christmas Movie Thing


King Ellis

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halloweencopy_zps39e0e758.png

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I bid you welcome to my spookhouse!

 

So, for a couple of years now I've been spending the month of October engaging in a month long horror fest, watching a different movie (with the occasional TV show thrown in) every day. Last year I even started writing something about that days movie, varying from a very quick opinion to an elongated recap, depending if I felt I could muster up any material from it.

That was all done elsewhere on the interwebs but since I know you all just love it when someone has a topic detailing whatever the fuck they're watching, I thought I'd bring the fun directly to you! After all, most of you can't be trusted to click an external link as it's far too much effort. Hopefully I can get a few more readers than what seemed to equate to Ollie and Cloudy.

Now, as the appearance of good ol' Pennywise up there might allude to, this year will be partly based around Mr Stephen King. Last year whilst looking for things to watch, his stuff just kept on cropping up so I thought, hey, why not just wait and watch them all in one go? Actually, that's not strictly true as there are some things such as IT, The Shining, Carrie and Creepshow that I've seen before so I probably wont be revisiting them (false advertising!). Frankly, that's a good thing as I don't think I'm nearly intelligent enough to talk about the eleventy billion levels The Shining works on, nor can I properly get my head around a guy in a bear costume giving another guy a blowjob.

In conjuction with that, since this is my second year of doing this with write ups and what not, why not play up this sequel with sequels of things I've watched over the past few years? Lost Boys: The Tribe? Fright Night Part II? The Exorcist II? Dr Phibes Rises Again!?

Plus I have a request to deal with the aformentioned Cloudy and I'm obligated to view something at the behest of Mr Hamster.

What's up first? Well, since I have to squeeze in my first movie before the craziness of Grand Theft Auto V Online kicks off, I could always warm up for that by watching some vehicular homicides?

Wait, there's like two of those. Well, I guess it's hard to turn down the one that has this filling the results page of a Google image search:

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2015

1 - Dracula/Spanish Dracula (1931)
2 - Army of Darkness (1992)

2011

Spoiler

Note: As I recall, I was busy on the 5/9/16th or otherwise too lazy so doubled up on the day after to round things out.

 

1 - The Cabinet of Dr Caligari
2 - Nosferatu
3 - Shadow of the Vampire
4 - The Golem
6 - The Invisible Man/The Man They Could Not Hang
7 - Dracula (1931)
8 - Frankenstein (1931)
10 - Mars Attacks/Young Frankenstein
11 - The Lost Boys
12 - The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
13 - Midnight Movie
14 - The Shining
15 - Monster Island
17 - The Raven (1935)/The Black Cat (1934)
18 - Sharktopus
19 - Beetlejuice
20 - Slither
21 - The Mummy (1932)
22 - Friday the 13th (1980)
23 - The Wolf Man (1941)
24 - Creature from the Black Lagoon
25 - The Monster Squad
26 - Creepshow
27 - The Bat (1959)
28 - The Evil Dead
29 - The Exorcist
30 - IT/Dead Set
31 - Halloween 1/2/3 - The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror IX/XV/XVI/XXI

 

2012 (with links to my blog entries on them)

Spoiler

2013

Spoiler

 

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/#entry2993193

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/#entry2994029

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2994566

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2995250

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2995891

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2996716

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2997415

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2998172

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2998725

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2999441

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3000208

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3000692

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3001066

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3001518

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3002553

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3002990

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3003529

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3004102

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3004547

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3004980

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3005743

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3006509

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3007161

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3008283

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3008569

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3009252

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3009749

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3010601

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3011593

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3012386

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3013054

 

Extras: http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=2997855

 

Halloween Hangover 2013

 

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3014381

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3016377

http://www.ewbattleground.com/index.php?/topic/92637-king-ellis-halloween-movie-thing/?p=3019338

2014

Spoiler

1 - The Invisible Man (1933)
2 - Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)
3 - The Blob (1958)
4 - Candyman (1992)
5 - Nightmares in Red, White and Blue (2009)
6 - See No Evil (2006)
7 - Nightmare on Elm Street (1987)
8 - Snakes on a Plane (2006)
9 - Godzilla (1954)
10 - Alien (1979)
11 - The Giant Claw (1957)
12 - The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
13 - Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
14 - Paranormal Activity (2007)
15 - The Fog (1980)
16 - The Stuff (1985)
17 - Escape from Tomorrow (2013)
18 - The Prophecy (1995)
19 - The Host (2006)
20 - Sleepy Hollow (1999)
21 - From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
22 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
23 - Predator (1987)
24 - Twilight Zone The Movie (1983)
25 - Les Diaboliques (1955)
26 - Reptilicus (1961)
27 - Saw (2004)
28 - Child's Play (1988)
29 - House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
30 - Eyes Without a Face (1960)
31 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
 

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Christmas 2012

Spoiler

Christmas 2013

Spoiler

Christmas 2014

Spoiler

1 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
2 - The Grinch (2000)
3 - Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
4 - Jingle all the Way 2 (2014)
5 - Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever (2014)
6 - Lethal Weapon (1986)
7 - Reindeer Games (2000)
8 - Scrooge (1951)
9 - Blackadder's Christmas Carol (1988) & The Snowman (1982)
10 - Santa Claus (1985)
11 - Arthur Christmas (2011)
12 - Joyeux Noel (2005)

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*prays for Ellis to watch The Langoliers*

Oh, God.

Watch it, Ellis :shifty:

Ellis, review Cat's Eye. Seriously, it's like three or four vignettes, but the one with James Woods is awesome.

I guess The Stand would be way too long....The Tommyknockers is shit. Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile are right out.

Hmm, we need scary Stephen King besides the obvious stuff. The 70's version of 'Salem's Lot?

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I actually really want to watch The Stand. I have vague memories of it being on TV here over two nights when I was a young lad and a vague recollection of what it's about. I seem to remember people having visions of some like dead Grandma in a field or something and them all feeling compelled to go to this one place, or something :shifty:. So yeah, something I'd like to revisit. I actually bought it on DVD a few years go but I lent it to MY BROTHER ( :angry:) many moons ago and he has seemingly lost it since. It is like a bajillion hours long though so perhaps not so suitable for this situation. Salem's Lot is on the list though and that's a more manageable 3 hours-ish in comparison to The Stand's 6.

Langoliers I don't really feel the urge to do because I watched The Nostalgia Critic's take on it so whilst I haven't seen everything in context, I'd know the jist of what's happening. Part of this whole thing was for me to watch stuff I haven't seen before.

Cat's Eye is probably gonna be a thing too. Both that and Creepshow 2. And speaking of anthology films, I'm also seeing that King has a connection to the Tales from the Darkside film, albeit only one part of it so that one's probably a longshot.

I'm also going to edit the OP in a second with the list of stuff I watched in 2011 and 12 for anyone particularly interested.

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The Stand has a running time of 366 minutes, or just over six hours without commercials. Given how even then it's pretty condensed compared to the source material, while it's a good idea, I don't think for what you're aiming for it would work out.

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CREEPSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

You should just do Creepshow all month. I CAN HOLD MY BREATH FOR A LOOONG TIME, HAHAHAHA.

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Get on Letterboxd, Ellis!

I'd do something like this in October, but I've just got too many films to watch in relation to my course, as well as getting through a bunch of classics I haven't yet. But I might be forced to add a few from your list if you give it a ringing endorsement.

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Day 1

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Maximum Overdrive

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adapted from the short story 'Trucks', dating back to 1973, this 'action-disaster-horror-science fiction film' was not only written by Stephen King but directed by him too, his only directorial role to date. It did earn him a Golden Raspberry nomination for worst director so quit whilst you're ahead, eh?

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Well shit, looks like I'm being born into mass hysteria. I'm not sure what reason I was expecting for every machine in the world going haywire but cosmic radiation from a comet, that's really something.

But before the machines start with their acts of bloody murder, they start wild some mild belligerence.

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Sylvester Stallone is Frank Money in Money Man II: Hell to Pay

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The worst name my ATM machine ever calls is deadbeat.

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Ned?! Ned Ryerson?!

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Things really kick into gear when a bridge mysteriously raises all by itself leading to chaos when none of the seemingly dozens of people think of just backing the fuck up. One of the unfortunate victims being a melon farmer.

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I haven't seen watermelon destruction on this scale since I played Stranglehold.

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Cut to a truck stop where our Green Goblin friend makes his entrance. Or her, we do have a tendency to assign the female gender to our vehicles after all. And if you think it looked creepy from the front...

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Hope you don't have coulrophobia!

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Oh, and apparently they rigged up that face to have glowing red eyes!

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We also start to meet some of our cast of characters, including Emiliooooooooooooooo!

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A Little League coach who gets hit in the balls by an errant soda can. Give that man the $10,000!

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And the dreadful voice actress of one Lisa Simpson, Yeardley Smith, who spends the entire goddamn movie either screaming her ass off, nagging at her husband or chattering non stop. Whenever she's on screen, that's one time you're going to be cheering for the trucks.

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"The trucks make their way west on their yearly migration, in search of the great diesel lakes that will sustain them over the coming winter months."

It's actually quite funny at first watching these machines going crazy and just being jerks to everyone but things turn nasty when they start running people down, chopping their heads off, beaning them in the head with soda cans...

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But the trucks start to circle the truck stop, intimidating the survivors left inside. Now there's some some product placement for you. Bic, the pen of the homicidal trucker! I know we all enjoyed metalman's story of pen related violence but this is ridiculous!

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Oh, but everything is going to be just fine because the owner has a basement full of ROCKET PROPELLED GRENADE LAUNCHERS. Secret weapon stockpiling aside, I find this guy kinda funny, even if he is a dickbag. I think mostly because he calls everyone 'Bubba'.

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Whilst everyone is hiding out, the movie kind of comes to a screeching halt when a bulldozer and a mounted machine gun come along. Bizarrely, the machine gun then speaks to the survivors by way of Morse code. Seems they're running out of fuel and they want one of them to go feed them more. RYBAAAAACK RUUUUUULES!

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Luckily, Emilioooooooo just casually walks by the gun that had previously been holding them hostage and drops a grenade on it.

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The trucks are gracious enough to wait until night fall before destroying the building, giving our heroes ample time to escape via a sewage pipe. Good on you, trucks, you're good sports!

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Wow, that's quite a landing. I imagine that's what the end of Srar's attempts at flight school in GTA V looks like.

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Everyone hightails it to the coast before sailing to freedom and what could be very well be an alternate take on Waterworld.

Now, I didn't really want to go overboard with the spoilers but I couldn't resist showing the epilogue to this story.

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Oh, you pesky Russians, you and your giant satellites that are secretly a giant frickin' laser and several nukes. Though, now that I think about it, just how did they launch that? "Computer, fire all warheads at that UFO." "Cause my own destruction? Gee, OK!" I'm surprised this didn't end with some Allied Master computer shit with every nuclear warhead in the world trained on one another.

Still, this is pretty funny to begin with in that goofy, horror sort of way, watching people start mouthing off at giant trucks before being mown down. Plus, there's something very creepy about seeing an ice cream truck roll by with no one at the wheel. You can always rock out to AC DC whilst you watch too, complete with Psycho style screeching anytime someone's about to get offed, only with wailing guitars instead of violins.

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