Jump to content

King Ellis' Christmas Movie Thing


King Ellis

Recommended Posts

Day 2

Day_of_the_Dead_film_poster_zps8c0790a6.

Day of the Dead (1985)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last year I was checking out Night of the Living dead so really I should be moving onto Dawn of the Dead but I watched that once many moons ago and I don't really recall being overly enamored with it so instead it's Day of the Dead!

3_zps9359076b.jpg

A small group of survivors touch down in Fort Myers, Florida, on the lookout for survivors, only to come across the usual hoard of the walking dead. Well, it's a change from the giant, concrete eating snails.

1_zps1aed1bd2.jpg

Apparently the banks have replaced their security guards with alligators.

2_zps3e2bc859.jpg

It must suck to have a crab problem.

4_zpsc919fabb.jpg

They're part of a team living in an underground army base, tasked with researching the outbreak, looking to find solution to the zombie problem. This takes the form of capturing live zombies that frequent a cave like section of the base.

But all is not well when command passes over to Captain Rhodes following the untimely death of his predecessor. He's overly keen on risking his men on what he sees as a pointless waste of time and resources.

6_zps1470c308.jpg

Fair play to the guy though, even during a time of crisis he finds time to remain clean shaven and style his hair.

But despite his Nathan Fillion good looks, he's a cold and ruthless man who doesn't think twice about threatening the civilian members of his crew with execution if they don't tow the line with his new regime.

7_zps2f8aa51a.jpg

There's some real tension between these two sides. When they're not pointing guns at one another, they're usually bickering or, in the case of the soldiers, cackling like a pack of hyenas whilst they make sexual advances on Dr Bowman, the only female left amongst them.

8_zpsbc2fc71f.jpg

The focal point of Rhodes' annoyance is the quite eccentric Dr Logan, who is often labelled as 'Frankenstein' due to his experiments.

9_zps28b65cf4.jpg

"Hello, you've reached Apple customer service..."

Despite his butchery and recycling of the still warm bodies of any fallen soldiers, he has a softer side, keeping one zombie he's affectionately named 'Bub' after a nickname given to his father. Dr Logan has a theory that he can re-condition the zombies into a more docile state. Bub displays signs of remembering his old self, trying to shave, use a telephone and read.

10_zps7b9d069b.jpg

Upon Capt. Rhodes entering the room, Bub even offers up a salute, indicating some past military experience. Bub even tries to cap his ass when given a pistol but, luckily for Rhodes, the bullets were already removed.

11_zps0f303a4a.jpg

This whole research angle does offer up some nice opportunities for them to lay on the special effects which only kick up a notch when the human body count starts to rise.

And again, I hate to play spoiler but when the shit inevitably hits the fan, our dear old Captain really goes out in truly horrific fashion.

12_zps34adfe5e.jpg

I mean, you see the occasional arm being bitten into during this film, maybe a zombie tries to gnaw on someones throat but this guy literally gets torn apart. Being the badass that he is though, he still has the balls to tell the zombies to 'choke on 'em!' as they feast on his entrails. What a guy.

Still, that's no great loss our heroes, they never liked the guy anyway. Plus, it's one less person to fit in their helicopter. I guess you could say where they're going, they don't need Rhodes.

I'm so sorry.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know why, but I always thought the guy who played Rhodes was also Larry Underwood in The Stand. I am very disappointed to realize the awful truth.

My uncle apparently knows the guy who played Bub............. (scanning imdb) WHAT? BUB WAS IN THE STAND? My spidey sense is really wigging out here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 3

postercopy_zps70500c5b.jpg

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Famous for their cult hit 'The Toxic Avenger', Troma is something I have a very vague connection with. Around the turn of the millennium, many a misspent weekend involved late night blocks of entertainment on TV including imported animation such as Family Guy and The PJs, as well as more adult orientated fare such as the short lived Pets and Tromas Edge TV. The only thing I seem to remember about that is one sketch with a protesting veteran soldier being asked just what he wanted, to which he replied "Burning monkey syphilis".

Now, thanks to Cloudy, I am forced to dive headlong into this filth. I suppose I could always ignore him but who am I to ignore my one reader?

1_zps8af54b02.jpg

Well, I don't think I have the words necessary to describe this...thing. I mean, my God. When things start out with a young couple fucking in a graveyard, only to be disturbed by crazy man with an axe in one hand and his dick in the other who than proceeds to scoop up the young mans tightie whities before having them pulled through his digestive system by re-animated arm that enters reaches through his ass and up through his mouth...yeah.

2_zpscc1fdd5a.jpg

For a movie that promises chicken zombies, things start out more akin to an American Pie teen comedy with lesbian makeout sessions and boobs aplenty. I daren't screencap any of it, lest I send EWB into another dark age. We got thrown off the internet all because of Kiera Knightley's nipple, there's enough traunchy material on show here to give Rockin' Amigo a heart attack.

3_zps54a26554.jpg

It's not all sex though, things take a sharp turn into anti corporation musical avenue, showcasing the disgusting treatment of processed chicken. Humane slaughter my ass!

4_zps8991b882.jpg

Yeah, all that T&A was just to throw you, this is some real high brow stuff! We've even got pointed look at post 9/11 America and it's inability to deal with a woman wearing a veil. This poor woman has a real torrid time, when her co-workers aren't recoiling in horror every five minutes thinking she's going set off a suicide bomb, they're calling her Hamas instead of Hummus. Really, Hummus? All your other characters are called things like Denny, Wendy, Arbie, Carl Jr, Paco Bell...was it so much of a stretch to call her Dairy Queen?

5_zps42eda961.jpg

Don't worry, it's not long before we reach the real gross out, exploitation heart of this film with a batch of tainted food leading to one unsuspecting soul spraying shit over all the goddamn walls.

7_zps9528d06b.jpg

In front of the watching media and protesters, our Colonel knock off is forced to devour his own boil ridden, puss spewing product. Little does he know it will soon turn him into a nightmarish chicken, zombie hybrid. Actually, that doesn't look half bad. Looks like some sort of declious marshmallow infused cookie!

6_zps99bdfc39.jpg

A pre fame Zach Braff?

8_zpsd286b80e.jpg

And you wish these zombies would just eat you and put you out of your misery. They'll peck your eyeballs out, rip the skin off your face, tear your fake tits out of your chest, run your face through a meat slicer...real sick shit. They don't fuck around!

To be fair to this movie, it can be pretty funny at times, some of the song and dance routines are amusing and it's certainly a spectacle. But here I was just finally getting over Dead Alive from last year, now I'll have zombie chickens showered in blood to haunt me for a while.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 4

creepshow2_zpsc936d717.jpg

Creepshow 2 (1987)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, we've had a Stephen King movie, a sequel and then a little sidetrack to deal with a request. Why not get back on track with something that's both a King movie AND a sequel?

Released in 1982, the original Creepshow was an anthology movie that told a series of short stories, five in total with two being adaptations from existing King stories and the remained being written specifically for the movie. It had it's moments, chief amongst them being a rather compelling performance from a villainous Leslie Neilsen, a jarring change from his usual comic work. This time though, there's only three stories and to be honest, they're nowhere near as good.

1_zpsd0319649.png

First up you have the tale of an old couple running some kind of general store in a dusty old town that's a little past it's sell by date. The wife wants to sell up and move on since business has been slowly grinding to a halt but the husband feels he owes the town something after so many years of good business. An elder of the local Native American tribe visits them to leave some precious jewels as collateral against the debt that the tribe has incurred.

2_zps0aa2bc6b.png

Unfortunately, the elder's rebellious grandson and his gang is awaiting them when they head back into the store, ransacking the place and robbing them blind. The old man resists when he's told to hand over the jewels, leading to he and his wife being killed.

3_zps695ef863.png

'Old Chief Wood'nhead', the Native American warrior in front of their store, comes to life to avenge their grizzly murders. This Native American isn't going to be standing there, crying a single, solitary tear. He's got revenge on his mind!

4_zps5642a46a.png

There's not really much to say about this story, it's all rather formulaic and dull. The only real redeeming factor is the Native American grandson who spends most of his time preening, stroking his hair as if he were in a Loreal advert or something.

5_zps87225f99.png

Story two is somehow even more boring. A group of pothead kids head up to a lake to go swimming despite the fact they openly talk how cold it will be. They quickly jump out onto a floating deck where they spot the dreaded...

6_zpse202fe53.png

...floating pile of shit?

7_zps1a105de7.png

Whatever it is, when one of the girls touches it, it covers her in some sort of oily goop and pulls her under.

8_zpsbbbed236.png

After it takes one of the guys, only one guy and one girl remain but they figure out they're safe so long as they stand on the wooden planks. Unfortunately, when the girl falls asleep, the guy decides this would be the perfect time to cop a feel, laying her down on the deck as he goes to town. Nothing says aphrodisiac like seeing your two friends being eaten alive by an oil slick.

9_zpsf800d2d0.png

But, oops, the blob has got her!

10_zps8a495897.png

Whilst it eats her, the guy makes a break for it and tries to swim to shore, only just making it. But as he gloats, it gives him the proverbial middle finger by promptly changing shape into a giant wave that comes crashing down on him. Actually, that was a nice little twist ending.

11_zpse16f987b.png

Finally comes the story of a woman cheating on her husband with a male escort. On the way home from a late night session, she's involved in a hit and run but the stubborn bastard just wont stay dead. It's all very I Know What You Did Last Summer. Hell, I think they're both wearing similar raincoats.

12_zps8d17b1ed.png

Again, not great but there is something amusing to the guy repeatedly popping up with his catchphrase "Thanks for the ride, lady!" and this woman's descent into madness and her rambling inner monologue on how much it'll cost to repair the car. That and how quickly she takes to brutalising this undead corpse, pinning it against a tree and repeatedly ramming her car into it.

13_zps5e363f89.png

So, yeah, this one kinda blows. Between the boring anthropomorphic Native American, the poorly acting motherfuckers getting eaten by a BP accident and the crazy woman/cadaver struggle in almost pitch blackness, the most interesting part of it is the animated story that unfolds in between the live action ones...even if the animation itself isn't the greatest. Here we watch Little Billy as he goes about his day picking up the latest issue of Creepshow, picking up a package of venus fly trap bulbs he ordered from a previous issue and his run in with some bullies.

14_zps21b48db2.png

And when Little Billy looks this crazy, how do you think that worked out for them?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 5

Fright_night_part_ii_ver1_zpse703e54a.jp

Fright Night II (1988)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the disappointment of Creepshow 2, I now turn to the follow up to 1985's Fright Night, one of the movies I enjoyed most during last October. Of course, I might be setting myself up for another fall since there is that old adage of sequels just being an excuse to make the same movie over again in search of more money. Then again, I love both Home Alones and there basically the same thing. Still, you might have to group this entry with that adage because once more I'm opening a post on Fright Night by talking about another modern entry to the franchise.

1_zpsd4419c6a.jpg

Last year it was me discovering they were remaking the first film with such notable names at Colin Farrell and David Tennant. Now, as I gear up for Fright Night II, I learn they've just released a sequel to the remake, only it's direct-to-video, has none of the same actors and nowhere near the star power, unless Jaime Murray of Hustle/Dexter fame ranks highly for you.

2_zps15b680b8.jpg

But no such trouble here though, William Ragsdale and Roddy McDowall both reprise their roles as Charley Brewster and Peter Vincent, though Charley does have a new girlfriend at this point. So long, Amy!

3_zps244e3178.jpg

Why, this movie even has music from...Brad Friedel?! A man of many talents! As if being the bestest goalkeeper in the Premier League wasn't enough, now I find out he's...oh, Brad Fiedel. My bad.

4_zpsde3cc4c7.jpg

It's now been three years since the events of the first movie, with Charley having undergone some intense therapy to deal with his ordeal, coming to understand that that whole 'vampire' thing was just his way of coping with chancing upon serial killer Jerry Dandridge and the untimely death of his friend Ed.

5_zpsdc513f97.jpg

Things take a little while to get going here as Charley struggles to maintain his rationale for what happened all those years ago. Nods to the previous film make him start questioning himself, like a series of coffins being brought out from a car, nightmarish visions of a seductress vampire and an erotically charged dance scene with the woman from his dreams at a sexy vampire party.

Turns out this is Regine Dandridge, sister of antagonist Jerry from the first movie, out for revenge following the demise of her sibling. But she isn't out to just quickly snuff out Charley, she has something much different in mind for him.

6_zps95d7cf8b.jpg

She has some rather strange goons behind her, including a woman with an 80's take on the Bride of Frankenstein hair that goes everywhere on roller skates.

7_zps307b1bc5.jpg

And a guy that spends his time searching for bugs, reciting their scientific names before eating them.

8_zps2f79ffc8.jpg

When a few of the more underling villains start getting bumped off, I was worried that they were skimping on the effects budget for this one. Whilst they don't measure up dramatically to Ed's death, they can be just as gorey. Actually, I'm not sure if this a death scene or a serving of aspic.

So, this one is OK and worth checking out if you enjoyed the original. More Peter Vincent is okay in my book. It's fun seeing an aging horror actor suddenly have to go toe to toe with vampires for realsies and he could have been marginalised in this film but he even goes through his own little adventure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 6

Salemslotthemovie_zps81581efc.jpg

Salem's Lot (1979)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Going into this 'movie' (it's technically a TV mini series) I didn't know a whole lot about it, so it was something of a surprise to see it centered around vampires. I hadn't even seen the poster beforehand but looking at it now, yeah, kind of a giveaway but I'll touch on that more soon.

1_zpsa0a81e79.png

Speaking of things I learnt afterwards, throughout the whole damn movie I was becoming really distracted wondering who played Susan, the love interest of our main character Ben, only to find out it was Bonnie Bedelia who would later star as Holly McClane in Die Hard 1 and 2. Now I've gone and reminded myself that, even though she's not in them, I need to watch the Die Hard's that aren't set during Christmas. Well, maybe not 5, I hear everyone hates that one.

2_zps46d9f56a.png

But someone who I did recognise instantly, Fred Willard! Now that I really wasn't expecting.

3_zps1cb5c1e0.png

Now, at three hours, I really have to condense this thing so to bring you up to speed, the story is that author Ben Mears (played by Hutch himself, David Soul) returns to Salem's Lot in order to gain inspiration for a book he's writing about 'the Marsten house', a spooky old house with a sordid past, including being the site of a chilling childhood moment for him.

4_zpsf1ce9ed4.png

But he's not the only one with eyes on the place, seems it's already been purchased by a couple of gents by the name of Richard Straker and Kurt Barlow. Only Straker is in town right now and he's a real prim and proper individual. But he's also British so naturally he's up to no good.

5_zps51575cc6.png

There's a touch of the 'small down' going on, with all these new arrivals in town certainly rousing suspicion. That only escalates when some of the locals start mysteriously vanishing or turning up dead. In one case, a pair of young brothers are taking a shortcut through the woods late at night and the elder sibling grows frustrated at his young brothers fears and so presses on alone. He's the only one to arrive home safely but soon falls ill. His sleep is disturbed by the sound of his younger brother rapping at the window. Quite an interesting scene really, perhaps brought on through his guilt over his involvement in the incident or feverish nightmares due to his sudden illness.

6_zpsa37b4cbc.png

But nope, VAMPIRES!

7_zps72febe55.png

The whole 'appearing at the windows of their victims' thing carries on throughout and it's pretty neat to see, clearly an inspiration for later works like The Lost Boys and of course, that one Treehouse of Horror special.

8_zpsfb94141f.png

And when it's not providing inspiration, it's paying homage itself, most strikingly through it's main villain and 'head vampire' who is very similar to Count Orlock in Nosferatu. See what I mean about the poster?

9_zpsdbdee159.png

Perhaps even a nod to Dracula when they get inside the Marsten house, with sweeping shots showing off the interior of the house focusing on the staircase, something also done inside Dracula's castle.

10_zpse1664ddf.png

As an aside, I just think the house itself looks pretty cool. I think in terms of it's geography it's meant to be just outside of town, atop a winding road, so it has that whole secluded thing going for added spookiness. Or maybe it's just the weird Minecraft side of me that has a thing for rock based domiciles. Seriously, you can keep your big houses with your redstone doors. Give me a nice cave or big cliff wall to cut into any day.

11_zps0f37a404.png

Something I will say against the film is the lack of consistency in it's more action packed scenes. Some of them work well and as a rule, things are generally kept to a minimum, no doubt due to the nature of it's adaptation for TV, so no real blood and guts on show here and things cutaway just as people are about to meet their demise. But scenes where victims are bitten all too often hang on on their gormless expression for what seems like an age and there are a few scuffles which just look really goofy and fake.

Given that I have the attention span of a three year old, this whopper was always going to be iffy and to a degree it is, taking like an hour to really kick off but once it does, it's very much enjoyable.

12_zps9a620cf4.jpg

And because I apparently like to touch on these things now, seems there was another TV adaption of this in 2004 with Donald Sutherland playing the role of Straker. That seems like it would be pretty cool. But Rob Lowe as Mears? Huh?!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 7

Drphibesrisesagainposter_zpsd6b7ca21.png

Dr. Phibes Rises Again!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Indeed, Dr Phibes returns once more from his slumber, intent this time on raising his beloved Victoria. After spending the entirety of the first film working from the playbook of the plagues visited upon ancient Egypt, he's now making a pilgrimage of sorts.

1_zpsf1d00e2d.png

A sequel rushed out only a year after the original, the story takes place three years after Phibes put himself into suspended animation but some cosmic alignment has allowed him to once more walk amongst the living. He sets out to Egypt in search of the River of Life which flows beneath a Pharoah's tomb. Unfortunately, he kept the map in a safe and it seems someone saw fit to demolish his house.

15_zps1ac3be54.png

Turns out the map was stolen by another party interested in finding the river and Phibes pays him a visit, duly dispatching with a guard in another overly elaborate scheme. Whilst not really tied to any theme, Phibes once more displays a sense of imagination with the methods of his kills, be it the piercing telephone on display here, throwing a corpse overboard from a ship in an oversized novelty gin bottle or crushing someone to death in some kind of vice.

2_zpsa189d389.png

It's just funny and really absurd the lengths he's able to go to, especially once he actually reaching his destination, apparently having stashed away all manner of equipment some years prior in his exquisite palace in which he houses his clockwork band that he has shipped over.

3_zpsa4e07b0c.png

Even his assistant is forced to carry round a bloody great instrument at times so he can project his voice.

4_zps7efca5bf.png

But he's not the only one making the journey, our favourite bumbling policemen from Scotland Yard are along for the ride too. I really love these guys. That's quite a gig to swing, they'll have to try it again next year. "Seems the culprit has run off to Hawaii. We'll need to fly over there ASAP, first class of course."

5_zps145a875b.png

And speaking of police, even Inspector Morse has a go but unfortunately gets his face clawed off by a murderous bird that Phibes sics on him.

6_zpse8f4992b.png

I can't stress how much some of this stuff takes the piss though, he even brings out a giant electric fan to create a sandstorm to cover the screams of his victims. Where on earth are you plugging that thing in?

7_zpsf2089212.png

Perhaps not quite as interesting as the original, it's still a fun watch just for the atmosphere it creates, contrasting these eccentric murders with overly posh and glamorous sets and costumes, all with a jazzy soundtrack. And, of course, Vincent Price once more delivering his disjointed, robotic vocal performance and kooky mannerisms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Before today's offering, I felt like mentioning the fact that I took delivery today of this:

91GcTBPeVxL_SL1500__zps4f496032.jpg

I've got bad news for you 'I got Ellis in Secret Santa and need ideas for what to get him' fans...

The Universal Monsters Blu-ray collection, something I've been pining for since it's release last year. It dropped to a reasonable price over the weekend and, given that I'm currently gripped by monster madness, I finally picked it up.

amaray_case_gry_winsert_zps6f1fe4f6.jpg

Having made a previous purchase of the Stanley Kubrick Blu-ray boxset, I am now always a little wary when purchasing these kind of things. The packaging for that one is quite horrible and seems to have caused many headaches on both sides of the ponds. I have the English one which is all in one sort of bumper blu-ray case with the kind of flappy disc holders seen above, except there's like 4 or 5 of them. Trouble is, they seem to really want to keep hold of the discs they're holding and you end up bending the discs at quite unnatural angles try to get them out. Everytime you try you live in fear that it's about to shatter. Luckily, no such trouble here, everything is in a fold old cardboard sleeve thing as you might see in the original picture above. You might also notice that the set comes with a small booklet which provides some brief information on some of the films and actor, as well as showcasing some backstage photos and posters. There's also some art cards of the posters for all the different movies so that's a nice little extra and the images on the discs are based on those.

UniversalMonstersblu5_zps923c988f.jpg

About the packaging though, the discs are layered, one above another in pairs so if you want the bottom disc, you need to take out the top one first, which might prove to be slightly annoying. The fold out box itself looks nice though with black and white stills all blended together to form one panoramic picture. Actually, another thing about the discs and the art is the way they're arranged out of the box. For example, here you see the discs for Frankenstein and Dracula but underneath them is a picture from Bride of Frankenstein. Being a little pedantic about such things, I rearranged the discs to put both Frankenstein movies together in that slot. Thinking about it now, it might have originally been in order of release or something.

On the technical side of things, I've only briefly looked at Frankenstein and some of it's extras. There are various documentaries about the history of Frankenstein and it's star Boris Karloff which contain more standard looking footage which allows for some comparison between the two. The HD version certainly seems a lot cleaner, with none of the scratches or other such blemishes on the film and none of the hiss or crackling on the audio.

So whilst I'm not too sure if these kind of films will benefit too greatly from the bump up to HD outside of the re-mastering they seem to have undergone, it's still a nice set to have, especially since I can indulge in such curiosities as the Spanish version of Dracula, revisit The Invisible Man and get around to watching a monster find a mate...

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 8

sksb01_zps1e9cfe11.jpg

Silver Bullet

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First we had the Stephen King vampire film, now we have the Stephen King wereworlf film! And with Corey Haim and Gary Busey no less, how can I lose?!

1_zpsf9ba1711.jpg

Oh...

2_zps88f43cbf.jpg

We're delving into the realms of werewolf horror and family drama here, with Marty here ("I don't know how, but they found me" "Who?" "Who do you think? The werewolves!") and his sister squabbling constantly. Oddly, his sister serves as narrator which threw me off at first, thinking this would be her story but things are pretty much focused on Marty.

3_zps408cafd4.jpg

But only a few minutes in and the werewolf is already getting down to business, taking some guys head off with just one swing of it's mighty paw!

4_zps30c6e867.jpg

And when it strikes again, killing a pregnant woman who was on the verge of suicide when her boyfriend walks out when he learns she's with child, some of the locals are already planning to form a posse.

5_zpsad68ceb2.jpg

Hold your horses there, we need to get back to more important matters as Mr Busey arrives in all his disheveled glory as Uncle Red, casually drinking and swearing around young Marty. This causes him and his sister to really butt heads.

6_zps441d2e00.jpg

This is where the real story is, Sheriff Locke has that whole werewolf thing under control.

7_zps9153dc5f.jpg

Or...maybe not. Marty's friend thought it was safe to stay out flying his kite after dark, he was sadly mistaken.

8_zps6e370dcc.jpg

That's the last straw. The locals aren't going to have some maniac going around, terrorising their community and slaughtering their kids. It's time to rise up, rise up and take this sicko down once and for all!

9_zps2a8ec1a2.jpg

Whoops!

11_zpsba305d7f.jpg

When all this carnage leads to the cancellation of the town fair and fireworks display, Marty is really down in the dumps. Oh, your best friend was just brutally murdered but this, this is the biggest tragedy of them all. Don't worry, Uncle Red has made him a souped up wheelchair dubbed the 'Silver Bullet' which is more than capable of keeping up with and indeed taking over ordinary road cars. He evens hands over a stack of fireworks to the kid so that he can go have his own private display. Good job on working on that responsibility and being a good influence there, Red.

12_zpsf5415125.jpg

But late at night, in the dark, secluded woods, something is watching young Marty. This is actually quite reminiscent of the 'Crate' segment of Creepshow, with those rabid eyes piercing through you.

13_zps25f505d4.jpg

Make that 'eye' because when the beast confronts Marty, Marty shoots a fucking rocket in his eye and then makes his escape. This needs some kind of spinoff genre, Cyclops Werewolves. At least this makes the search easier now, they just have to find someone in town with one eye, which his sister goes about doing under the pretense of collecting old cans for charity.

15_zps9da0b3a2.jpg

OH SHIT, IT WAS REVEREND PLISKIN ALL ALONG!

17_zps9bd74ae2.jpg

I know you Atheist types are close minded and all but you're taking things a little too far here.

16_zps603c87d3.jpg

But since the Reverend knows that Marty is onto him, he spends the remainder of the film hunting him down.

OK, this is where I draw the line. Werewolves I can maybe, maybe accept but who ever heard of a Priest preying on a young boy?

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 9

Bride_of_Re-Animator_zps472874a5.jpg

Bride of Re-animator

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This movie kind of makes me start regretting dedicating half the month to sequels. It's just so...boring, it feels like nothing really happens. I don't even feel like I have much to say about it. I mean, yesterday Silver Bullet laid on some easy jokes. This is just...bleh.

1_zps92dfd87b.png

Eight months have passed since the "Miskatonic Massacre" and Doctors West and Cain are out volunteering amidst a bloody Peruvian civil war, West keen to take advantage of all the dead soldiers to continue his experimentation. But when the enemy storms their tent, they narrowly make their escape and eventually return to Miskatonic Hospital where West takes up stealing corpses.

Maybe they should have just stuck with that story, maybe have some General find out what they were doing and have them raise an undead army to storm to victory. Might have been more interesting than this re-tread.

2_zpsa99afb6c.png

He even runs across an old friend, the severed head of Dr. Hill, which he takes the opportunity to taunt. West learns to his reagent is capable of restoring life to individual body parts, so he sets about creating life out of the severed limbs of several different donors.

3_zps729999b5.png

His partner Cain is as reluctant as ever to go along with his deranged schemes but is emotionally blackmailed into it when West produces the heart of his late fiance, promising to create a new version of her.

5_zps4ceede6e.png

But they need to be careful because Lt. Chapham is sniffing around, figuring that something was amiss about the pair given that they were the only normal survivors of the massacre. Plus, his wife was amongst the re-animated corpses now left in a zombie like state and he thinks that the pair were responsible.

4_zps43045000.png

Meanwhile, pathologist Dr. Graves figures that after eight months, he's procrastinated enough and finally gets round to testing the bottle of green ooze that was laying around. He discovers it's amazing life restoring properties and uses it on the head of Dr. Hill, making him live once more.

6_zpsd3614321.png

But between these two 'antagonists', they don't really do much, until Chapham barges into the basement of West and Cain's house, discovering the mess they had going on down there. West kills him and then re-animates him, figuring that way no would suspect anything, only for him to go into a rage and eventually fall under the control of Dr. Hill after Dr. Graves gets tired of his shit and throws his head in the bin.

7_zps4a16a210.png

Using his new muscle, Hill forces Graves to attach bat wings to him. OK, now that's actually pretty cool, perhaps even a little reminiscent of an Avenged Sevenfold logo.

8_zpsa85db22a.png

As do the various experiments that West was fucking around with which I guess West mind controlled into fighting for him, I have no idea. Nor do I know why West would graft a boob on one of them.

9_zps91daaacb.png

Silver Bullet was pretty mediocre but at least there was a threat. Dr. West spends the first hour dicking about making finger spider...things, and Dr. Hill only manages to get his shit together in the last twenty minutes. Even the corpse West makes is rendered pointless when Cain realizes within about five seconds of it coming to life that he'd much rather just stick with his new girlfriend than switch to this bloody mess of a thing that doesn't even look like his old girlfriend and has, for some reason, a big hairy man arm. So, it just rips it's own heart and dies. Good job, lads.

Let's just hope this doesn't sully the name of 'Bride' too much...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 10

cujo_zps13c17de0.jpg

Cujo

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cujo, a 1981 novel turned into a 1983 movie. Cujo...that's a fun name. Though, it seems it's origins aren't.

1_zps9f523c46.jpg

Awww, a cute bunny. Don't try and fool me with your bird songs and whimsical music, movie, I know you're plotting something for this rabbit.

2_zps365f2246.jpg

Oh shit.

As a bunny owner myself, this kind of puts me on edge. I've seen a man torn in half by zombies, a fast wood worker shoved in a meat grinder and a wereworlf rip a man's head off, doesn't phase me. A dog about to eat a rabbit? Now that's some horror. Hell, I put Eight Legged Freaks on last year just for my fear of spiders, maybe I should watch Watership Down on just to see how it freaks me out.

3_zps209d6a1b.jpg

The rabbit makes it's escape though, leaving Cujo here stuck in the entrance to it's burrow like he's Winnie the Pooh looking for honey. As he barks, he disturbs some bats, one of whom land on his nose and bites him. It's like some bizarro world version of Batman Begins, only Batman is actually Batdog. Look at me rambling on. Batdog? How absurd.

4_zps4075cb4a.jpg

Everyone knows Batman is actually a mongoose.

5_zps16118aec.jpg

Meanwhile, we meet our nice family, housewife Donna, son Tad and some sort of advertising producer Vic, whose latest hit is a 'Professor' who shills Sharp brand cereals. His catchphrase is 'No, nothing wrong here.' That seems like a fairly bland mascot to have, I mean kids have all sorts of hyperactive and colourful tigers and monkeys trying to make sure the kids hassle their parents for the sugary treats, how can some boring egghead match up to that?

7_zps69d0ef1d.jpg

Unfortunately for them, the term 'Sharp cereals' takes on a whole new meaning when thousands of people across the country are struck down with internal hemorrhaging after eating the cereal. Jesus, what the hell is in it? Jagged, metal Krusty-O's?

8_zps2dbb0dcd.jpg

This forces Vic to go out of town in order to think of a new campaign. It also serves as time to think things over after discovering his wife is cheating on him with their friend Steve. Poor form. Whilst he's gone, the missus takes her car to an out of town mechanic whose family has also coincidentally taken a trip out of town. Little does she suspect that Cujo awaits them...

9_zps70403f7b.jpg

Oh my God, Beethoven has gone rabid! Someone tell Tchaikovsky the news, it's time to make him go the way of Old Yeller.

10_zps7004f373.jpg

Think you can grab your gun before he gets to you though? Cujo will pounce your ass in a split second.

11_zps0d128605.jpg

When Donna and Tad turn up to get the car fixed, Cujo tries to leap into the car through an open window but Donna just manages to fit him off. What's that? Your car wont start now? No problem, Cujo's not going anywhere, he'll just sit and watch you, biding his time. After all, he is the Batdog.

12_zpsf24bda5b.jpg

Though I don't think Batman ever went into a fit of rage when the Batphone rang. Cujo somehow goes even more berserk and charges at the car door before delivering a flying headbutt!!!

13_zps3bdabb89.jpg

Maybe they should send Alfred round to give old Cujo a bath. By the end of this film he's just utterly filthy. His fur is all matted, he's covered in mud, blood dripping off him and puss pouring out of sores on his face. It's enough to put you right off your supper.

14_zpsad723ab2.jpg

You think your puny human sports equipment can stop Batdog?! He's not going to hurt you, he's just going to rip your fucking throat out. Stop swinging the bat. Give him the bat. Stop swinging the bat. DONNA, GIVE HIM THE BAT!

15_zps75077bcf.jpg

I think this might end up amongst my sleeper hits of this years list. Amongst all the slasher villains, the werewolves, the vampires, there's something neat about the big bad just being a dog. A rabid dog but a dog nonetheless. It's funny at times just watching him skulk around or just be there, pressed up against the glass when his potential next meal is sleeping. Things can get quite intense and jumpy when you think he's out of sight, only for him to start leaping on the windshield, clawing and scratching at it. But is he really even a villain? It's not his fault, he's sick! Maybe his owner is the real villain for not noticing sooner. Now there's some paws for thought.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 11

Psycho_ii_zps8a3cecea.jpg

Psycho II

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some twenty three years after the release of Psycho, we have Psycho II. Though Alfred Hitchcock had shuffled off this mortal coil by that point, almost as if they were waiting to pop his clogs before they green-lit this sequel, we do get the return of bother Norman Bates and Lila Loomis (nee Crane) both played by their original actors.

1_zpsdf3a3396.jpg

Things start out with a repeat of the 'shower scene' because, I guess people would feel cheated if they saw a Psycho movie and didn't see that? On the other side of our opening credits, we find Norman Bates, twenty two years removed from the events of the first movie, about to be released from the mental institution to which he was sent. Lila Loomis tries to protest his release, even bringing a petition signed by seven hundred plus people, but it's to no avail and Norman is free to return home.

2_zps3851d0d3.jpg

It's here he finds a long forgotten note from his mother and he could almost swear he heard her calling to him...

3_zps3312dc07.jpg

Later that day he starts work assisting the cook at a nearby diner but get's a little gun-shy around the big, sharp kitchen knives.

4_zps03659b64.jpg

One of his co-workers, Mary, seems to be going through some relationship issues and he runs into her on his way home, overhearing an argument she's having over the phone. Apparently she's been dumped by her boyfriend and is now homeless so he offers to put her up at the motel.

5_zps7d20f6ac.jpg

Only, it's being run by a sleazebag who has turned it into a motel of disrepute, home to flying visits from drug users and hookers. So, he gives him the old heave-ho and suggests Mary stay at the house instead. Don't worry, things will all work out for him. I foresee a future in security, police work perhaps, something in an airport.

When he starts getting oddly fixated on a knife he uses to cut a sandwich and insists she eat it because he 'suddenly lost his appetite', alarm bells are naturally ringing for this girl. But, she stays.

There's a lot of intrigue as this plot unfolds. Bates starts to find notes signed from his mother, receiving phone calls in her name, is it all in his head? Is he truly just trying to restart his life out in the normal world or is something more sinister afoot?

And it's not just Norman, there's something about Mary, she does end up staying at the house when surely everything inside should be screaming for her to leave. Maybe she has a touch of hybristophilia, a fascination with someone who has comitted a crime.

For a movie that everyone probably questioned would even need to exist, following in the footsteps of something that is heralded as a classic, I quite like it. Having Norman Bates come back after all that time and having him have to readjust to the real world again is an interesting concept and I think this movie handles it well. So if it's something you've turned your nose up at previously, give it a shot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 12

ChildrenoftheCornPoster_zps30288f06.jpg

Children of the Corn

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apparently first published in 1977 in Penthouse magazine, it was first adapted into a short film called 'Disciples of the Crow' in 1983 before this full blown movie the year after. It's not too unusual to see different sequels and/or adaptions to these works, Creepshow 2 for instance. They're not always with King's ringing endorsement but they still get released: Creepshow 3, Carrie 2, A Return to Salem's Lot etc etc. Well, this thing has apparently spawned some seven sequels. Seven! And a remake!

1_zps21ced296.png

We start with a flashback to three years previous as everyone files out of church in the small town of Gatlin, some even head down to the local cafe. Peering in through the window is one real creepy looking kid, Isaac.

2_zps89db4e5d.png

He seems to send a signal to another boy inside and they proceed to murder every adult in sight. Holy shit.

3_zps92adbe2a.png

It's not enough that they poison everyone's coffee, no, they then proceed to brandish all weapons. Knives, daggers and all manner of farm tools like sickles. Pulling out a sickle? This is some real hardcore stuff.

4_zpsd21dcddc.png

Isaac watches the whole thing unfold with a twisted smirk as we're treated to some suspenseful music mixed with some sort of choir/chanting. Get used to that, by the way, if you intend on watching. Though, I suppose it is something different to just the usual jarring string music you get during these murder scenes.

5_zps29be6386.png

And why not throw in a little girl who draws the future for good measure. Those kids all look really happy as they stand around with their bloody blades.

7_zpsa5749e2f.png

As is tradition, it's time to point out actors I somewhat recognise but am not sure why. One of the kids on the front line of the bloodbath, Malachai, is played by Courtney Gains who would later star as Dixon in Back to the Future.

9_zps06d5097e.png

Cut to three years later and the kids are now the only ones left in town having killed all the adults in town bar one old mechanic who they apparently spare so they can make use of the fuel he has. Under the rule of Isaac, a preacher sort of character, they all live according to some uber strict religious rules that forbid such wicked acts as drawing pictures and listening to music. The horror! They also follow some extreme version of Logan's Run where everyone is sacrificed on their nineteenth birthday. You're never going to get anywhere as a society pulling stunts like that. "Would the last person alive please remember to kill themselves on their 19th birthday? Don't ruin it for the rest of us by just walking away, don't be that guy."

8_zps63ade223.png

A couple traveling nearby, Burt and Vicky, fall victim to circumstances that force them to seek help in Gatlin, which seems to be a ghost town now. Stores and houses are seemingly abandoned, food left to rot and newspapers now years out of date. They soon run in to the homicidal kids, slowly learning just what happened in this town but facing an real struggle to make it out alive.

I always assumed this was the movie being parodied in that one Simpsons episode with the creepy psychic kids who made the adults pitchfork themselves. I guess it's more akin to that one South Park where all the parents are locked away under false molestation charges.

10_zps77b9380d.png

This flick is OK, I guess. It's certainly as unique as every other King movie I've seen thus far. I mean, we've had vampires, werewolves, killer trucks, a killer dog and now killer children, he certainly keeps things fairly fresh in that regard. Then you've got allusions to a supernatural or all powerful entity, as well as all the kids dressing in old timey clothes and living a much simpler life whilst engaging in this long winded death cult, so it's an interesting setting. And that opening scene is actually really quite awesome and was one I didn't see coming.

11_zps14178774.png

But I'm not sure what to make of the ending. All these kids who gave up their lives and family just seem to abandon it at the first sign of resistance. It's that old cinematic convenience of everyone standing back to watch someone fight one on one as Burt slaps Malachai silly, which admittedly is pretty funny, just because he points out that it's pretty fucked up that God would ask them to kill their parents.

Then you have this entity, whatever it is, that manifests itself in weird ways like speeding along underground like something out of Critters or 'absorbing' sacrifices by covering them in some sort of cheesy digital effect. And you can apparently kill it by burning the corn field, which Burt manages after stumbling around in the dark for five minutes.

I guess I am curious about what direction all those sequels take. You see slasher films getting obscene numbers of sequels which amount to 'Michael Myers is back and look at all these fresh victims he gets to kill because they stop him...or do they?', it can't just be seven rounds of 'Hey, look, some more kids in another corn field!', can it?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. To learn more, see our Privacy Policy