King Ellis' Christmas Movie Thing

[King Ellis]

No Wendigo's here. There is a howl at one point when Jud is leading Louis to the burial ground, but he just brushes it off.

As for the burial ground, Jud only vaguely touches upon it, saying that the Indians stopped burying their dead there 'when the ground turned sour'. Then he makes allusions to some sort of power that might have caused the accident that killed Gage. Near the end, when Rachel is trying to get home because she realizes something is up, she goes trough a series of setbacks that slow her down, leading to the friendly spirit saying 'it's trying to stop you'.

[Mick]

The soil of a man's heart is stonier, Louis--like the soil up there in the old MicMac burying ground. Bedrock's close. A man grows what he can...and he tends it.

Whoops, wrong picture

[wrathofcarnage]

The whole Wendigo stuff from the novel is one of the last times I feel like I was absolutely terrified by the written work. I don't even really remember how it all went, I just remember being supremely freaked out when I read it ages ago.

[King Ellis]

Better late than never, I suppose?

Day 24

The Thing (1982)

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OK, it's not a sequel but I have some unfinished business with this franchise after watching the original last year and, quite frankly, I'm more enthused about watching this than straight-to-DVD sequels released twenty years after the original. I'm still not sure what to make of the original, it doesn't really feel like your average horror movie so I suppose you can view that as a good thing. And not that it's the movies fault but on the cover of the DVD I have of it, they put the monster right on the box! Way to ruin all of the mystery and suspense. Thankfully, they don't do the same thing with this remake.

Things start with members of a Norwegian science team, hunting down a Husky and performing fly bys with a sniper rifle and a helicopter. I have no idea why. He's not a very good shot, though I suppose sniping a moving target from a helicopter might not be easy.

Whereas their American counterparts are just chilling, including Kurt Russell and his magnificent beard.

Apparently the sniper rifle wasn't getting the job done because he then takes to dropping grenades on the dog.

But when that fails, they land and he tries with another grenade, only to throw it behind himself, blowing up his pilot and the helicopter they rode in on. What a dumbass.

Naturally, having some guy turn up at your base, shooting at your dogs and throwing grenades around isn't the kind of thing you want so they promptly shoot him in the face and fly over to the Norwegian base, I guess you could say they've gone to axe them some questions.

Meanwhile, that shifty dog is just skulking around the base, waiting for their return, creepily watching them as they land...

And, ooh boy, did they find some freaky shit over there. Just what were those crazy Danes up to?!

Speaking of freaky shit, someone finally puts that dog away in the pen with all the other dogs, where it promptly mutates into whatever the fuck that thing is. It's got things coming out of it's face, insect legs on it's body and wildly flailing tentacle things to ensnare the other dogs and 'absorb' them.

That's one of the highlights of this flick, some very strong special effects that are in every way, absolutely disgusting. When these things aren't transforming into hideous faux human creatures, they're on the autopsy table, still smoldering from being set ablaze by one of the team, puss oozing out of them and all manner of strange guts falling out.

The other being just the overwhelming sense of isolation, paranoia and mistrust running throughout. Whilst being stuck up on some Antarctic base for months and months on end is reason enough to go a little stir crazy, you've then got to add in the fact that some crazy monster could and probably is imitating your friends, hiding in plain sight and is just waiting for the perfect time to make you it's next victim. With everyone soon pointing fingers and guns at who could be 'it', it's like the monster doesn't even need to get it's hands dirty.

I say monster but there isn't really one singular monster. Whilst the characters in the film only have to ever deal with one instance of it at a time, it seems capable of laying dormant in many things at the same time and one of the scientists comes to the conclusion that it could eventually infect the entire human race.

So, rather than the original movie, I'd say this has more in common with 1998's 'The Faculty', with both films having similar 'test' scenes where the group is trying to find out who amongst them is really human.

Still haven't played the game, though I do actually own a copy of it now! One day...

[King Ellis]

Day 25

The Mist

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You know, all these Stephen King movie's I've been watching, they've been good for the most part but they're so full of people with ugly clothes and bad hair, that one rather dashing Native American in Creepshow 2 excluded, naturally. It's so...1980's, you know? That's why it's time to come crashing into the noughties with 2007's The Mist.

Now, far be it from me to call anyone tardy, after all I did delay posting yesterday's entry by like half a day, but Hollywood seemed to really drop the ball here. I mean, they were doing pretty good to start with, movies turned around just a couple of years after the book came out. Christine they managed the same year! But here? A whopping 27 years!

Before I truly begin, I feel I must address something here. As the movie progressed, I found myself doing my usual 'he looks familiar' and 'she looks familiar' routine. I completely blanked on our lead male protaganist because I haven't seen such things as The Punisher or Hung but some of the supporting cast? Why, it's a like a precursor to The Walking Dead! Most notably for the actors who would later portray Dale, Andrea and Carol. I kept waiting for Andrew Lincoln to walk in and lead everyone to safety. I suppose this should all be no surprise as The Mist was directed by Frank Darabont, the man who would develop The Walking Dead for television before being thrown out on his arse. Seems he has a thing for recurring collaborations. Speaking of his other work, he has his fingerprints on some other projects I may look into one day so I guess his name will pop up again in time. Incidentally, I think his departure roughly coincides with the time I stopped watching the show. Another entry in the 'eventually' column, that one. I guess I'm a lazy bum even when it comes to watch TV.

Our leading man is David Drayton, played by Thomas Jane, an artist who specialises in movie posters. By sure coincidence, hanging in the background of his office is a poster for The Thing. I often like to cite such trivial incidents as examples of coincidences I run into. Like thinking of a particular episode of The Simpsons during the day and then, that night, it will be on TV. Looks like this just made the list!

In the middle of the night, a terrible storm strikes, sending a tree crashing through his office window and ruining his latest painting. Don't worry though, he can just shit something out on Photoshop in an afternoon and it'll be fine. Hollywood! Not only that, a dead tree that he's been badgering his neighbour to get rid of for years fell and crushed his boat house. Seems these two have been at loggerheads for a while but their mutual problem allows to find some common ground and patch things up, at least for now.

The pair, and Drayton's son, head to the local supermarket in order to gather supplies before the inevitable rush. It was here I thought I knew where things were heading, this is a classic cliche after all. A big storm or disaster happens, everyone promptly guns it down to the local store and panic buy everything, caving in each others skulls over the last tin of split pea soup. But actually, no, everything is surprisingly civil. There seems to be more than enough food to go around and people are queuing patiently in spite of the fact that the power is out and they're having to checkout the old fashioned way. It's that old Cheers 'everybody knows your name' deal where you can't walk through the front door without having without having half a dozen conversations about everyone's life story. People are even so courteous as to give the time of time to a crazed man who bursts in the front door, screaming of how 'the mist' got his friend.

The good grace and decorum is shattered when the eponymous mist descends upon the store. One man tries to make a break for his car but his bloodcurdling screams tell us that he probably didn't make it. An earthquake sends lights crashing to the ground, produce flying off the shelves and everyone a little shaken. Out back, an emergency generator seems to be having some issues, a vent is blocked and fumes are building. A hero steps forth, out of the shadows, willing to venture out into the mist and clear the blockage.

That man is non other than The Sherminator, a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time to change the future for one lucky lady and to bag groceries at his local Walmart.

Evidently, not that sophisticated...

When the few witnesses return to the front of house to deliver grave warnings of tentacles dragging innocent men to their deaths, they're met with skepticism. Not least from Drayton's neighbour, Brent Norton, a big shot lawyer from out of town, who when trying to approach the situation with a level head, refuses to acknowledge any sort of supernatural goings on. He doesn't believe there's really anything out there. You stupid fool! There could be anything out there! I even heard there were Gorillas in the Mist!

It's here we start to get a small taste of what will become the overarching theme in this story, one of division and side taking. Norton scoffs at their ideas of monsters in the dark, encouraging others who might be thinking more rationally to join him and he will lead 'his people' in stepping outside the store in search of rescue. They don't make it...

But in his places rises another, Mrs Carmody, a religious woman who stares into this unknown not with fear but with relish. She quickly proclaims this the apocalypse, the end of days and she does so with open arms, preaching of hell and damnation for those that have angered God. It's like she sees herself as a shepherd who will help deliver unto the Lord the souls of his children.

When wild proclamations of plagues being visited upon them by God start to come true, she really goes overboard, claiming to be a vessel for him and people buy into what she's saying. Pretty soon, the likes of Drayton are in the minority and when Carmody starts screaming for blood sacrifices to sate the hunger of the beast so that the many may rest easy for another day, it's clear their position in this makeshift community has become untenable.

I'm not really sure what I was expecting when I sat down for this, other than some mist which they duly delivered but I probably wouldn't have guessed the directions this one took. It's a little long for my taste at just over two hours but aside from a few tacked on scenes, I wouldn't say much of it is wasted. There's some nice effects but much like The Thing, the story is as much about the turmoil in this group of people and the breakdown of their fragile alliance than it is the things banging on the windows. You might even get a laugh or two along the way when Carmody gets slapped in the face or has tins of peas pelted at her.

But man, dat ending, it's like someone balling their fist up real tight and just punching you right square in the balls.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Outside of Shawshank and Green Mile, one of my favorite adaptations of a Stephen King work. No surprise that Frank Darabont was involved in all three of them.

Also, Roland!

[King Ellis]

Day 26

The Lost Boys: The Tribe

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1987 saw the release of the original Lost Boys, an entertaining vampire movie featuring two brothers, Michael and Sam Emerson, and their divorced mom moving to a new town, with the older of the pair trying to get in with a local gang, only to eventually find out that they are vampires. With the help of another brotherly pair, Edgar and Alan Frog, they eventually fight off the gang. Attempts at a sequel never panned out and it took until 2008 for it to be realised in this straight to DVD release, The Lost Boys: The Tribe.

There's another pair of Emerson siblings here but this time it's brother and sister tandem Chris and Nicole. I'm not entirely sure of their relation to the Michael and Sam but following the death of their parents, they move into a house owned by their Aunt. They start the film driving to said house whilst listening to AC/DC knockoffs, Airbourne, so they deserve everything that's coming to them. Chris used to be a pro surfer but kicked off the circuit following an 'incident' and he seeks work from a local surfboard shaper who just so happens to be...

Edgar Frog, vampire hunter. Hell yeah! Absolutely the star of the show with his weirdly deep voice and corny one liners. Sorry, Reverend Frog. He got ordained so he could holy up his own water. Makes sense. That's what makes him so great, back in the original, there was only so much the Frog brothers could do. Yeah, they knew stuff about Vampires thanks to comics and what not but they were just kids at the end of the day. Now Edgar can get his hands on firearms and make them into Holy Water filled balloon launchers.

Frog's gonna need to put his skills to the test pretty soon when a new gang of vampires emerge, containing many old rivals of Chris'. They get things rolling by bumping off a man with a fancy pad, played by special effects wiz Tom Savini, and they use the house to throw a party to lure in potential victims.

One of which is Nicole, who is wooed by leader of the gang, Shane, played by Angus Sutherland, half brother of Kiefer who starred in the original. Tenuous links, huzzah! Shane tricks Nicole into drinking his blood which turns her into a half vampire.

You know, this wouldn't have happened if they'd stand home and watched The Goonies with their Aunt. That would have made for some interesting conversation when they next ran into Edgar. "Hey, you ever seen this movie called The Goonies? There's this one kid in there, looks just like you..."

When Chris tells Edgar about what's been going on, he's willing to help because he too knows the pain of losing a sibling to the other side. So that's where Alan is!

Actually, if they wait long enough, the gang might just wipe itself out. See, because they're pretty much immortal, these guys just spend their time fucking around and stabbing each other just for a laugh. One minute they're cutting each other open to play hacky sack with the entrails and the next, they're impaling one another to the sofa with a longsword.

But what do you expect when the rest of the time is spent playing violent video games like Gears of War?

Nothing overly offensive here but it's just another sequel that aims to copy the original. At least it has one half of the Frog brothers here to liven it up, it would have been a lot worse without him.

But even as the credits are rolling and you're about to tune out and turn off, there's one more scene waiting for you. Edgar is sat alone in the dark, shouting challenges into the shadows, when out of them appears...

Sam Emerson, all grown up and seemingly all vampire. An intriguing tease for the next installment, right? Sadly, no. Whilst Edgar Frog does seem to be front and center for the cover of 2010's 'The Thirst', Corey Haim's Sam is nowhere to be found. Sadly, Haim would then pass away before work could begin on a fourth movie which he was apparently looking forward to being a part of.

So, whilst I'm happy that Edgar gets a promotion from being the fringe character here, it's just annoying to know that, for one, they never got to resolve this particular story and secondly, it should have just been the story they told in this movie in the first place! Granted, something like the Frog brothers investigating a mysterious new vampire clan terrorizing the town, only to find out it was Sam and then being torn on killing an old friend would be cliche in itself, but at least it'd be something different rather than this almost entire rehash of the original.

[King Ellis]

Day 27

Dreamcatcher

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With some films in mind for the last two days before things culminate with Halloween 5 on Halloween itself, we're into the home stretch and the final outings for the Stephen King and sequel portions of this list. At this point nothing really stood out from the King list, I feel like I covered pretty much all of the bigger names and/or things that appealed to me so I reached out to my loyal readers for their ideas on what should be the finale of the King-a-thon. That's when Maxx stepped forward and suggested 2003's Dreamcatcher, a titled he dubbed a 'noted steaming pile of shit'. Well, this ends well...

A Stephen King story in which a group of adults meet to look back on a shared traumatic incident from their childhood? stop me if you've heard this one before.

But it's a good group, you've got the now familair Thomas Jane (Henry), Damian Lewis ('Jonesy'), Jason Lee ('Beaver') and Timothy Olyphant (Pete). Okay, admittedly I don't know who that last guy is but things are intruiging as we slowly learn that these guys all have some kind of psychic power, predominantly mind reading but one guy just knows where things are. Ask him and he'll just point you in the right direction.

Though, they are a little more subtle with Beaver so you're more likely to think he's been given the power to chew on tooth picks like he's Razor Ramon.

These four have been meeting every year for a hunting trip out at a remote cabin, reminiscing on the time they helped a mentally handicapped young boy named 'Duddits' from some bullies. 'Duddits' being his own way of saying his actual name, Douglas.

It's during this hunting trip that we find ourselves in Alien, The Thing or Slither territory by way of Evil Dead or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Jonesy finds a lost man out in the woods and brings him back to the cabin to give him food and shelter. Whilst he appears relatively fine, he soon develops appalling flatulence and his stomach becomes bloated. He puts this down to some berries he ate whilst out in the dark the previous night. Jonesy and Beaver put him to bed but later come back to find disturbing blood trails leading to the bathroom.

It almost looks like the guy shit himself to death but the truth is that something was lurking inside him and has now become trapped in the toilet bowl. Beaver sits on the lid in order to keep it inside whilst Jonesy rushes off to find something to seal it up. Beaver tries to take out a tooth pick to calm his nerves but drops them on the floor amongst all the mess, the only ones that landed in a clear spot are just out of reach. So, when he reaches down and allows that split second of an opportunity for the thing to escape, it does and promptly kills him.

It appears to be some sort of eel or worm creature with many razor sharp teeth, spending it's gestation period inside an unsuspecting victim before making it's escape through their rear end. Talk about your monster dumps...

There's something generic about it's design though. I feel like I've seen this before.

It then appears before Jonesy as more of your traditional little green man' alien, except grey and about eight feet tall, before exploding into some sort of red dust and possessing him.

So now we have an alien invasion on our hands which calls for Morgan Freeman as Colonel Abraham Curtis, leader of an elite military unit that he rules with an iron fist. Whilst trying to contain the outbreak, one of his troops allows a young mother and child to slip the net and is punished for doing so by having his fingers blown off. The Colonel doesn't fuck around, he's ready to cull everyone in this quarantine zone if need be. Needs of the many and all that.

Henry, out in search of help, senses Jonesy approaching but realises it's not quite him, it's 'Mr Grey'. Mr. Grey follows Hollywood protocol and assumes a delightfully evil English accent now that he's become our main villain. This leads to various scenes of Jonesy speeding along on a Skidoo having a back and forth with his own alter ego. Things are so cheesy that you could throw it in a fondue pot and serve it for dinner in a Swiss chalet.

Henry makes it back to the cabin which is being taken over by this infection, covering everything like some red mold, including the body of his deceased friend. He finds mounds of eggs so hurriedly burns the entire place down. Maybe that thing just really likes gooseberries.

He's then picked up by some of the military, running into Colonel Curtis' second in command whose mind he reads and is able to convince to blab to someone higher on the chain of command and then help him hunt down Mr Gray. Curtis sees the pair make their escape and vows to take the 'traitor' down. I'm not used to anything other than friendly Morgan Freeman types or 'greatest narrating voice in the history of ever, here are some penguins' so at least 'driven insane following twenty five years of fighting aliens' is pretty novel.

But that's the big issue here, it feels like about three or four separate movie ideas all mushed together and it transitions between them so jarringly. At times, the script and acting can seem so farcical that it made me wonder if this was all meant to be a bit tongue in cheek in a similar manner to Slither. At least things look pretty nice though, with all the snow capped trees and scenery.

And as childish as this might seem, Dubbits' speech problems extend to Mr Gray so anytime he mentions him, it comes out as 'Mr Gay'.

He's not Mr Gay, U R MR GAY!

[Maxx]

No mention of ex-New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg as grown up Duddits? For shame!

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Still wondering which of mine you'll be watching.

[King Ellis]

Day 28

Exorcist II: The Heretic

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I don't know why I felt such an urge to watch this movie, on this the last day of my 'sequel' section. I think it comes down to not really have any avenues to explore when it comes to sequels to stuff I've watched in previous years. Outside of any number of Universal pictures (which I want to dedicate more time to, The Mummy, Invisible Man etc) there's only really Scanners 2 and The Fly 2. I didn't overly care for Scanners and without Jeff Goldblum, is there really a point to doing another Fly?

I only say all this to delay talking about this movie because...ugh. I could almost feel the energy being sucked out of me as I watched it. Watching Dreamcatcher yesterday was a mess but it was at least a fun mess with enjoyable characters at times and a semi-coherent story. Here, I have no idea what the hell is going on and I don't really give a shit about anyone involved. I refuse to even dignify it by providing a summary of events.

Though, it does contain a reference of sorts to noted bender, Uri Geller. I'm fairly sure it isn't actually him but I think he did a lot of TV appearances in America back then on late night talk shows and the like, showing off his spoon bending so that's why I assume it's a reference to him.

And James Earl Jones wearing a locust costume. Actually, if you like locusts then you'll bloody love this movie. There's ton of em.

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As an aside, I ran across a website doing their own 31 movies in 31 days thing, which isn't uncommon but they're doing the whole Stephen King thing in full force. Each entry has a fairly brief 4-5 minute video with two guys just going back and forth with their thoughts on the film. Might make a nice companion piece to my entries and provide some insight on some things I haven't looked at this month.

[9 to 5]

Lazy.

[King Ellis]

Day 29

Dr. Giggles

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It's request time again and, to be honest, I was a little torn on this one. Cloudy had to wait a year for his and Hammy had to pay for it. So why should 9 to 5 get his relatively quickly and for free? Well, it helps that I was getting bored of the routine I was in and when you're offered up something called 'Dr Giggles', how can you possibly resist? I've never even heard of this before but it conjures up all sorts of images of a clown crossed with a doctor, though now that I think about, isn't that Patch Adams? The guy on the poster here is more like The Demon Headmaster.

Can I also bring up how many damn times I've written about a doctor throughout this month? Let alone last year, seems like they're a staple of the genre or something.

Look out, I'm being attacked by the poorly CG'd bloodstream! Wait, Doug E Doug? The guy who played the DJ in Eight Legged Freaks? Coincidences!

We start with a doctor performing an operation. Pretty sloppy, I must say. It barely looks like they prepped him, he's still got his tie on for God's sake!

But this is no ordinary surgeon, this is 'Doctor' Evan Rendell Jr, son of a doctor who went mad when his wife died, butchering innocent people in order to harvest their hearts so that he might bring her back to life. The townsfolk would eventually drag the doctor from the house before stoning him to death, his son however, was nowhere to be found.

He was eventually committed to this insane asylum, where is known as Dr Giggles due to his belief that he is a real doctor and for his disturbing laugh. He's able to make his escape and sets about stalking the small town of Moorehigh, a place he used to call home.

Man, oh man, I thought the doctor in Hellraiser 2 was bad for the doctor puns and jokes but Dr Giggles carries it on for the duration of the movie. That's true dedication for you. It gets to the point where you can finish half of his sentences.

His primary target ends up being one Jennifer Campbell, played by Holly Marie Combs. Nice to meet you, Jennifer. Charmed, I'm sure. Giggles takes great interest in her after he learns she has problems with her ticker, much like his late mother, no doubt serving as a surrogate patient for him and a chance to finally 'save' his mother.

Speaking of mother complexes, since Dr Giggles is very firmly in the slasher genre, we have a whole bunch of kids out on spring break and out to 'get some'. One young man even has a special outfit for his best gal, some saucy lingerie he swiped from his mother's suitcase just before she left for her vacation. Dude! We're getting into some Oedipus or Freud level shit here.

She wants him to 'dress up' too but I think if he used that thing you'd be needing a doctor and a midwife.

And when he does go back to join her, she's not the one waiting for him in bed...I can only imagine the collective wince from the male members of the audience back in the day.

His brother might have been able to help if he'd heard the pair being bumped off but he was too wrapped up playing Dr Mario. Is a joystick really the best controller to be using for puzzle games? Anyway, you know what they say about video games desensitizing kids to violence. Now, I need to hurry up and finish writing about this so I can go run down some pedestrians and shoot some cops. Then I'll play GTA Online.

It's not just the puns that Dr Giggles plays up, it's all his equipment too, allowing him to despatch his victims in ever creative ways. Starting off with simply slicing them up with his scalpel, before moving onto such things as jamming an otoscope into someone's brain, stabbing someone through the mouth with a thermometer and taking stomach pumping to the extreme.

Either Giggles goes to far as to exhaust all usual methods or he just gets bored because he even invents a few devices. I think this guy needs to go to a few conferences, his frame of reference for the medical field seems to be monstrously out of date and it's no wonder since he's been locked up for years. Some of this stuff looks like it belongs in the dark ages.

Or he can just do 'what doctors do best', golf!

Thanks to the script, this is goofy as hell but if you want a goofy slasher flick then hey, have I got the right prescription for you! You might keep it as a guilty pleasure but that's OK, it can be our little secret. Don't worry, I'll never tell, I'm happy to take the Hippocratic oath.

Some people will probably tire of it instantly but I think it's kinda fun to groan along to and guess at what Giggles is going to say next. But it feels like even I could have written this movie.

I mean, even the music that plays over the end credits seems lazy. Bad Case of Loving You? Right, because I'm sure everyone loved Dr Giggles. It's like they slapped in the first song with 'doctor' in it that they could think of. Hell, if they'd just waited five years they could have used Dr Jones by Aqua instead, it would have made about as much sense.

[9 to 5]

The best part is where Dr. Giggles as a kid escapes the police looking for him. Never seen that before, or since, in anything. >_>

[King Ellis]

Was he sucking in air out of her snatch or something?

Actually, given the people involved in that situation and the themes that have developed in this film, that really wouldn't surprise me.

[9 to 5]

Probably.

I think I was like, 11, when I first saw this.

[MalaCloudy Black]

That explains a lot.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Also the same guy that directed this directed Zenon 2.

[King Ellis]

Day 30

Audition

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It's the penultimate day and time for one more request, this time from Hammy, international man of mystery. He sent me two possible choices and I went for this one, mainly to allow a greater sense of diversity in my list. Actually, it's also a bit weird that I had Hammy send this in and then Larz started talking to me about it a few weeks later out of nowhere. Coincidences! The Japanese horror movies that spring to mind are things like Dark Water, The Ring and The Grudge, and that's probably only because they were later remade for America. Plus, the occasional gore fest too like Tokyo Gore Police. But a simple title like 'Audition' doesn't really evoke images of ghosts or monsters so I wasn't sure what to expect here.

The first half of the film moves like molasses and has a story that wouldn't seem out of place in your average drama or comedy. A widowed businessman, Shigeharu Aoyama, is encouraged by his teenage son, Shiegehiko, to consider getting remarried. Upon hearing this, the man's friend conjures up an idea to hold an audition for a movie role, allowing them to screen potential partners.

Whilst perusing the resumes they received in order to whittle the list down, Shigeharu takes a shine to a young lady named Asami Yamazaki. She has a quite bashful and modest covering letter, playing down the likelihood of her even getting the role but writes of a personal hardship she has had to deal with in her life, suffering an injury that ruined her chances of achieving her dreams of being a ballerina.

Only slight hints at anything untoward emerge so much of my early reaction to the film was to conversations between Shigeharu and his friend when talking about women, looking for those who were 'obedient'. Then, when he starts to meet her outside of the audition, despite being warned off by his friend, he eventually plans to propose to her, seemingly after only a few dates. I suppose you can always put that down to his over eagerness after some 10 years out of the dating scene but with all the talk being of 'remarrying', it all just seems a bit weird.

I know, I know, "I'm not from around here! I have my own customs! Look at my crazy passport!"

But that's when things start getting really strange, after Asami disappears and Shigeharu tries to track her down, he comes across all manner of creepy characters and stories from Asami's past, with an elongated dream sequence playing host to some worrying images.

And, spoiler alert, I feel I have to talk about the ending of the film as it's quite drawn out and methodical, subtle almost. That seems weird to say when you've got someone having their foot cut off with piano wire but you don't really get to see things as they happen, the camera rests of on shots of Asami as she's doing her work, allowing you to see her wicked smile and the pleasure she seems to get from it. That's no over the top music with stings to accompany each stab or blow, things seem much more intimate, especially when coming off the back of a slasher film like I saw yesterday. Plus, you have Asami plunging needles just under Shigeharu's eyes which really made me squeamish, anything with eyes generally does. Makes me glad I don't need glasses or contact lenses because I don't know if I'd be able to put them in.

The most creepy thing though is just how Asami goes about putting these needles in, each one is met with a cry of what is translated into English as 'deeper, deeper' but in the native Japanese, it sounds almost like a little giggle of joy.

[King Ellis]

Day 31

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

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That's another October flown by then, seems like only yesterday I was settling in for some homicidal trucks and EMILIOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Well, I guess it's time to wrap things up with my next unwatched entry in the Halloween series, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. As I suspected last year, Jamie's shocking murder of her step-mother is quickly forgotten in favour of Michael Myers once more returning to Haddonfield. Whilst it originally took six years for Michael to return following the series brief detour in Season of the Witch, they got this sequel turned around in the space of a year.

We're treated to a recap of the climax of Halloween 4, Michael Myers being knocked down a mineshaft, but in this take they go so far as to drop a bundle of dynamite down there for good measure. Finally, someone's showing some initiative!

Myers narrowly manages to escape though and ends up white water rafting without the raft. Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

He comes across a shack, lived in by a hermit and his parrot. Though Myers initially attempts to kill the man, he collapses and lays in a comatose state for a whole year before waking to finish the job. What a shame, I was looking forward to Michael learning about drink and smoking! Still, I don't know why the guy felt like keeping him around all that time. "Well, this guy turned up out of nowhere and tried to strangle me, better look after him."

Jamie, having being committed to the juvenile version of a mental hospital, awakes in a cold sweat, sensing the reemergence of her Uncle. The two seem to share sort of telepathic bond and Jamie is able to sense where he is. Great, because that's just what I needed, yet another film involving a kid with latent psychic powers.

Dr. Loomis is here once again, now desperate for Jamie to help him find Michael, but she is now unable to speak due to the trauma. Loomis is just utterly fantastic, when he's not leaving Jamie in tears as he badgers her for help, he's generally pottering around the hospital, barging in as the doctors try to treat Jamie, or bothering the cops with another one of his crazy stories about Michael Myers about to go on a killing spree. Oh, you!

After so long spent chasing this maniac, Loomis is so beat up and run down and he speaks in a very tired and wheezy voice. Every day that passes with Michael on the loose just seems to be sending him further and further overboard.

Michael tracks down Jamie's step-sister Rachel and tries to go after her but Jamie's powers allows Loomis to warn her in time as she flees the house and calls for help. Enter these two cops who get the most bizarre accompanying music for there introduction scene and it's just so very out of place. Michael Myers might have that familiar Halloween theme following him around but these two get a series of clownish whistles and horns. It's like they're Bulk and Skull or something.

Unfortunately, Rachel finally does fall victim to the Shatner faced killer, stabbed with a pair of scissors. Well, I suppose the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. To be fair to her, she did extraordinarily well to last this long and you have to give her credit for making it through the entirety of the last movie.

I should also mention at this point that a strange man arrives in town via bus, dressed in a long trench coat and with some sort of metal tipped shoes. He seems strangely intent on aiding Michael...

Michael turns his attention to Rachel's friends, who are a real stupid bunch. They're start with the usual bout of cop trolling that goes on in this town, dressing as Myers and running around with a knife. At the risk of repeating myself, who keeps selling these masks?!

At least we in the real world have learned to more respectful when it comes to comes to our costume. You need only look at recent examples of companies withdrawing more insensitive items such as a 'mental patient' or Osama Bin Laden outfits. Just, try not to let that whole Martin/Zimmerman effort sully the otherwise stellar work we've been doing on that front.

Then they just start messing around in a barn that for some reason has kittens in it. Ok, sure, why not?

At least it allows Michael to be ahead of the curve and use some farmyard tools way before those Children of the Corn did. In your face, you little brats!

He even takes up driving again, still seems weird to see him doing this sort of everyday stuff, but ends up crashing into a tree and exploding. But even that doesn't phase him. Despite Jamie and one her of friends arriving on the scene to try and warn Rachel's friend Tina, Michael kills her. The cops arrive and whisk the kids away, leaving Loomis to goad Michael to return to his old house.

All the cops would have been there waiting for him but there's a disturbance at the children's hospital, which I assume was the mystery man unless Michael is suddenly capable of teleportation. That divides the forces, leaving a single cop along with Jamie and Dr. Loomis at the house. Loomis tries to calm Michael down but just as he's about to relinquish his knife, he snaps and throws Loomis aside to go after Jamie.

The lone cop is quickly dealt with when Michael hangs him outside of an upstairs window, leaving him to stalk Jamie. This actually leads to a nice series of chase scenes, including one where Jamie tries to hide down a laundry chute, narrowly avoiding the blade that Michael plunges into it.

She manages to make it up to the attic where there's a strange, almost shrine of sorts with candles, dead bodies and a coffin. Just as he's about to kill her, Jamie pulls the old 'playing to their emotions' trick and calls him Uncle, causing him to hesitate. He even takes off his mask and sheds a single tear, quite how his face is looking so good after being burned alive and how his eye is still present despite being shot out by Dr. Loomis in Halloween 2 is a mystery unto itself. James tries to make physical contact though and that proves to be a mistake as he goes bezerk once more.

Dr. Loomis has apparently snapped a little too, using Jamie as bait to lead Michael into a trap. Well, I suppose he has good intentions, not like that guy in The Dead Zone.

He manages to drop a massive chain net on the guy, shoots him full of tranquilizers and then wails on him with a 2x4. Hoooooooooooo!

The cops take him away, lock him up and await his transfer to a maximum security prison. But wait! The trench coated stranger starts shooting up the place, Terminator style, and springs Michael from his cell and the movie ends with a distraught Jamie screaming 'Noooo!' in a strange turnabout from the last movie.

But just who is this mystery man? Why is he helping Michael? Nobody knows! At least, it doesn't get resolved here and, given how quickly they abandoned their last plot twist, I'm not holding out hope of this coming up in the next sequel, especially since that wouldn't come out for another six years.

This one isn't completely horrible or anything but it feels like there was less of a body count and a lot of time spent on Rachel's friends and the goofy cops. It just never feels as interesting when Myers, Jamie or Loomis aren't around. Things just feel kind of redundant too as it's pretty much the same setup as the previous movie, which seems like a weird thing to say about a slasher movie but after the potential setup of Jamie as a new killer or maybe a side kick for Myers, it's disappointing to go back to the status quo.

Since this is continuing a story started in the previous movie and not just going in with a whole new set of characters, it's kinda like 2. 1 & 2 are so closely linked and 4 & 5 are too but this feels different because since a year has passed in the story, things feel almost like they've 'reset' and everyone has moved on. Jamie might still be getting treatment but the cops don't really believe Loomis' stories, whereas in 2, since it was all taking part in the same night as the first movie, everyone is still on edge.

Guess I'll have to wait around till Halloween 2014 to see if they actually bother following through on the whole stranger thing and if they shake things up any other way. But, for now, this is another marathon in the books.

Or is it?!