FIFA 15

[King Ellis]

It was even worse before they split the online and offline pro. Used to be that you'd think "I know, I'll start a player manager career as Bradford and work them up to the Premier League with my pro on board!" and all of a sudden this League 2 team has an 87 rated player in their midst.

[Arjen Robben]

I kind of miss being able to improve my pro that I use in clubs offline. Even if it's only in regards to things like freekicks and playing defence or in goal or something, I mean with freekicks, in clubs it's not really like you can just go "Oh can I take this one just to have a pop at it even though my pro is utter gump at them" and then subsequently blaze it in to orbit cause you just feel like a dickhead so there's basically no chance of improving that. Unless you're captain in a drop-in match and are able to just set yourself to take every set piece.

[King Ellis]

Of course you can, this is exactly the reason why you have microphones so you can all shout 'Wheyyyyyyyyyyy!' in unison when it gets skied.

I really don't know how you lads are managing, slagging each other off is half the fun.

[9 to 5]

No mics would put me off Pro Clubs too.

[Gazz]

How do you have the bantz without mics?

[King Ellis]

The lack of microphones is what killed off the Bantasaurus Rex.

[Arjen Robben]

tbf I think a few in the PS4 club do, I hear them talk through my TV, and I technically have one too it's just that it's the default PS4 one and is the absolute shits.

[alldaws1]

Of course you can, this is exactly the reason why you have microphones so you can all shout 'Wheyyyyyyyyyyy!' in unison when it gets skied.

I really don't know how you lads are managing, slagging each other off is half the fun.

Doesn't need to be a free kick either, in my case anyway.

Teamwork & a positive attitude has yielded some decent results so far!

[Szumi]

Really tired of the defensive issues I keep experiencing. Nothing I do can get my defenders to mark tighter and/or close guys down quicker. Plus, the defenders are constantly beaten far too easily, and the keeper does not seem to know how to parry a ball away from the goal. Fuckin' FIFA.

[TCO]

Apparently the PS4 version was the best seller this week. The 360 version outsold the One, while the PS3 edition was 4th.

Doesn't really mean anything but that order surprised me nonetheless.

[Cheeky Hughes]

Got my first big Ultimate Team guy in a pack - Mario Gotze!

[Paton]

Really tired of the defensive issues I keep experiencing. Nothing I do can get my defenders to mark tighter and/or close guys down quicker. Plus, the defenders are constantly beaten far too easily, and the keeper does not seem to know how to parry a ball away from the goal. Fuckin' FIFA.

My defending is terrible, if you ever find out a good method please let me know.

[Gazz]

Put in a 'softener' within the first minute of the match, right on the back of the knee.

[Thrilla]

Sounds like a job for the Hatchet.

[stokeriño]

So. Played my first FIFA 15 match (the one where it says it will fluctuate the difficulty and recommend a level for me at the end).

Chelsea vs. Arsenal. First half sees me 2-0 up with a Diego Costa brace. Lovely.

Second half, presumably the difficulty gets raised. Cazorla gets a goal back in the 50th minute. I spend most of the half flapping ineffectually about whilst Arsenal have possession. In the 83rd minute Fabregas trips someone inside the box to give away the penalty.

Ramsey steps up...SAVE BY COURTOIS, BOTTOM-LEFT CORNER, YEAH BITCHES.

Game ends 2-1, it recommends I play at Professional level.

I presume this was the level during the second half where I managed zero real chances and lost (the half) 1-0. Do you want me to hate you right from the off, FIFA?

[TCO]

I think I won 4-0 and didn't score in the second half either. I did batter them though and they recommended legendary, which was clearly wrong. I haven't scored apart from a header from a corner in the 4 or 5 games I played on it.

[Nerf]

I really love the improved AI in this game. Professional is just about my level at the minute, I win, lose and draw the games I should, with the occasional upset either way, but even at that difficulty the AI has moments of sheer brilliance that really adds a sense of unpredictability. Case in point, I was battering Spurs when their only chance came. Eriksen dribbled his way into my box, backheeled it to the onrushing Dembele who cut a first-time ball across the penalty area to Soldado, taking out all my defenders, and he smashed it into net. It was a really awesome visual, I wasn't even mad. It's forcing me to keep on my toes even when I'm bossing a game.

[Summers]

Man, Orban scored this.. and I was like "Shit, what a goal."

Then Javi f'n Fuego just went and did this..

[Gazz]

He was so shocked at scoring that he converted to Islam.

[stokeriño]

I need to learn how to play this game properly.

Primarily this would entail not using the left analog stick with such force that I have to stop after two matches because my thumb is close to blistering.

(I don't know why I do this. Maybe subconsciously I wrongly believe that if I push/press it really hard then my players will move quicker.)

Plus there's actually being able to defend. At the moment my defending generally takes the form of mashing various combinations of X, R1 and R2.

We can worry about other stuff like getting into shooting positions later.