Horrible Movies

[Toe]

I just watched the movie Evil Bong from 2006. I thought maybe it would be funny, and maybe it would be one of the many "so bad it's good" movies.

No. This movie was fucking awful. I was actually angry and a little sad that I watched the whole movie. Nothing was enjoyable - horrible acting, terrible plot, painful "jokes", and the whole movie was set in one fucking room.

So, I wanted to hear about other people's experiences watching fucking awful movies to know that I'm not the only one trying to erase the memory of pure cinematic trash from my mind.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Toe

[Benjamin]

I could go one forever with this one.

[Owen]

I started watching LOL with some mates a few days ago. Got about half an hour through. No more. No way.

[EWB's Best Poster.]

Calling Bobcat.

All of the plagiarism of kevin smith, none of the wit.

[Benjamin]

I'm trying to figure out what's the worst movie I ever watched. Right now all that's coming to mind is Red State and Movie 43. I guess there's also That's My Boy or one of the Twilights.

[Nick Adams]

City of Ember. Horrible film, and even the girl that talked me into going with her admitted it, to the point that she agreed to go to Ramona and Beezus as retribution.

[Toe]

I also watched Puppetmaster: Axis of Evil.

So it's 1938. Why is the brother of the American lead character talking about killing Japs and Nazis 3 years before the U.S joined the war effort? Why is there mention of kamikazes before the U.S. and Japanese have even fired shots?

It's shockingly bad. The puppet effects from the first movie from 1989 are miles ahead of these ones. Every actor is awful, but the two playing as a German spy and a Japanese spy are especially cringe-worthy with their terrible attempts at accents.

Oh, and the first few shots from the movie were stock footage from the original movie.

Don't watch this movie. Just don't.

Edited November 4, 2014 by Toe

[Mick]

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.

The trailer made you think you were going to get some fucking epic naval battles, shit blowing up etc. Instead, we got a fucking doctor bitching to Russell Crowe about leaving the fucking Galapagos.

[Benjamin]

Master and Commander is an amazing epic. Absolutely beautiful, great characters, the score is one of my favorites, hell, this movie is one of my favorites. Amazing epic.

[GhostMachine]

Stage Fright, which I've mentioned before in the `Watch Today' thread. Only watch it if you're a Minnie Driver or Meat Loaf fan whose goal is to see everything they've ever done.....and be prepared to fast forward a lot. (Minnie Driver is only in it at the beginning and in a flashback near the end)

We got it from Netflix based on the description, and it SUCKED!!! The two aforementioned are the only name actors in it, really, and they must've needed the money. (The acting is pretty good, but the script should've been used for toilet paper)

*edit* I'll also second Toe's mention of Puppet Master: Axis Of Evil. In fact, I'd recommend avoiding Puppet Master X: Axis Rising and Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, as well.

Edited November 4, 2014 by GhostMachine

[Mick]

Master and Commander is an amazing epic. Absolutely beautiful, great characters, the score is one of my favorites, hell, this movie is one of my favorites. Amazing epic.

Except the trailer lied .

http://youtu.be/pFeCVCKYo4Y

Look, not once is it "Hey, let's dick around on the island from Lost and when we're not doing that, jam out in the Captain's cabin."

[Benji]

Date Movie and White Chicks are my picks. I used to go see errrrrverthing at the movies, and those are the only two movies I ever came close to walking out on.

[brenchill]

Date Movie and White Chicks are my picks. I used to go see errrrrverthing at the movies, and those are the only two movies I ever came close to walking out on.

The only movie I've ever walked out on is that one with Jackie Chan and Clive Owen in it.

[Benjamin]

I hate White Chicks, but Terry Crews is so damn good in it that I'd still watch it just to see his performance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RNG_tTXXcg

[Skummy]

I've seen more than my fair share; I tend to watch an awful lot of terrible movies, because I'm a sucker for low budget B-movies, obscurities and "so bad, it's good" style films, but to find the gems in that list you end up trawling through an awful lot of shit.

A lot of old sci-fi and adventure movies are just utterly, utterly dull. Lots of walking around and talking, and very little else - the early seasons of Mystery Science Theater 3000 are full of them, and I think they're some of my least favourites.

The most irredeemably bad movies tend to be bad comedies for me, though. Bruno is the only film I've ever walked out of the cinema during.

[Naitch]

My housemates bought a DVD called Manborg from Poundland last week and I watched the trailer on Youtube out of curiosity. It definitely fits in this thread.

[Nick Adams]

As far as movies that I've left, A Thousand Words is up there. Eddie Murphy constantly yammering pointlessly is just mind-boggling. I have no issue with behaving as if a yogi's personal retreat isn't hallowed ground, but one can only take so much chatter.

[Toe]

Stage Fright, which I've mentioned before in the `Watch Today' thread. Only watch it if you're a Minnie Driver or Meat Loaf fan whose goal is to see everything they've ever done.....and be prepared to fast forward a lot. (Minnie Driver is only in it at the beginning and in a flashback near the end)

We got it from Netflix based on the description, and it SUCKED!!! The two aforementioned are the only name actors in it, really, and they must've needed the money. (The acting is pretty good, but the script should've been used for toilet paper)

*edit* I'll also second Toe's mention of Puppet Master: Axis Of Evil. In fact, I'd recommend avoiding Puppet Master X: Axis Rising and Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, as well.

I watched Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys with some friends. Half way through the movie, I got up, said to my friend "it's your movie now", and walked away. It was fucking garbage.

When I say horrible movie, almost anything put out by the bigger studios at least look professional - well lit, decent camera work, and decent effects. These movies have none of that.

[LUKIE]

I still don't understand how everyone hates Waterworld.

Waterworld is awesome.

[RPS]

When I say horrible movie, almost anything put out by the bigger studios at least look professional - well lit, decent camera work, and decent effects. These movies have none of that.

I have the opposite opinion. If something is done by a bigger studio and looks professional but is terrible in every other regard, it is a far worse movie than an indie film that doesn't have that. Because the bigger studio has the cash to make a good movie, but instead just releases a pile of shit. At the very least when a small studio releases something terrible, you can excuse it because they did the best with what they had.

My vote goes to From Justin to Kelly.