EWBFF Johnny Manziel League

[Maxx]

 

Apparently we're going with degenerate alcoholics as the theme this year.  Welcome to Season 12 of the EWBFF "A" League.  Apparently the  A stands for Aw hell no Srar won again!?  As once again the first lady of the league trounced us once again, making her third straight championship game appearance and winning back to back titles.  Its also her 3rd championship in the last five seasons, firmly establishing the only dynasty we've ever seen here.  Oh the wonders of league history, which you can now view for yourself on the main page of the league, in the League Members section, under the All Time tab.  Anyways, hopefully that's enough to jinx her.

Our draft starts on Monday August 1st.  Meacon was kind enough to handle our draft order so its nice and impartial, here it is

Consolation Round
1. Midget- Ben Watson tore his achilles
2. Maxx-  Someone breathed on Tony Romo
3. Srar- Dion Lewis, PUP
4. Lowerdeck- Teddy Bridgewater's Torn ACL is a based god

Round 1
1. Midget - Cam Newton, QB, Panthers
2. Damshow - Antonio Brown, WR, Steelers
3. Livid- Aaron Rodgers, QB, Packers
4. Lint- Carson Palmer, QB, Cardinals
5. Srar- Odell Beckham, WR, Giants
6. Dragsy- Julio Jones, WR, Falcons
7. Lineker- Todd Gurley, RB, Rams
8. DYSI- Adrian Peterson, RB, Vikings
9. Lowerdeck- Rob Gronkowski, TE, Patriots
10. Plubby- David Johnson, RB, Cardinals
11. LL- AJ Green, WR, Bengals
12. Maxx- Lamar Miller, RB, Texans

Round 2
1. Maxx- Ezekiel Elliot, RB, Cowboys
2. LL- Le'Veion Bell, RB, Steelers
3. Plubby- Devonta Freeman, RB, Falcons
4. Lowerdeck- Russell Wilson, QB, Seahawks
5. DYSI- DeAndre Hopkins, WR, Texans
6. Lineker- Allen Robinson, WR, Jaguars
7. Dragsy- Keenan Allen, WR, Chargers
8. Srar- Brandon Marshall, WR, Jets
9. Lint- Dez Bryant, WR, Cowboys
10. Livid- Thomas Rawls, RB, Seahawks
11. Damshow- Doug Martin, RB, Buccaneers 
12. Midget- Delanie Walker, TE, Titans

Round 3
1. Midget - Doug Baldwin, WR, Seahawks
2. Damshow - Alshon Jeffrey, WR, Bears
3. Livid- Jarvis Landry, WR, Dolphins
4. Lint- Julian Edelman, WR, Patriots
5. Srar- Jamaal Charles, RB, Chiefs
6. Dragsy- Matt Forte, RB, Jets
7. Lineker- Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Steelers
8. DYSI- Amari Cooper, WR, Raiders
9. Lowerdeck- Brandin Cooks, WR, Saints
10. Plubby- Jordy Nelson, WR, Packers
11. LL- TY Hilton, WR, Colts
12. Maxx- Sammy Watkins, WR, Bills

Round 4
1. Maxx- Andrew Luck, QB, Colts
2. LL- Phillip Rivers, QB, Chargers
3. Plubby- Mike Evans, WR, Buccaneers
4. Lowerdeck- Mark Ingram, RB, Saints
5. DYSI- LeSean McCoy, RB, Bills
6. Lineker- Jordan Reed, TE, Redskins
7. Dragsy- Drew Brees, QB, Saints
8. Srar- Dion Lewis, RB, Patriots
9. Lint- Carlos Hyde, RB, 49ers
10. Livid- Jonathan Stewart, RB, Panthers
11. Damshow- Tom Brady, QB, Patriots
12. Midget- DeMaryius Thomas, WR, Broncos

Round 5
1. Midget - Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Cardinals
2. Damshow - Latavius Murray, RB, Raiders
3. Livid- Jeremy Maclin, WR, Chiefs
4. Lint- Greg Olsen, TE, Panthers
5. Srar- Eddie Lacy, RB, Packers
6. Dragsy- CJ Anderson, RB, Broncos
7. Lineker- Kelvin Benjamin, WR, Panthers
8. DYSI- Eli Manning, QB, Giants
9. Lowerdeck- Randall Cobb, WR, Packers
10. Plubby- Colby Fleener, TE, Saints
11. LL- Jeremy Hill, RB, Bengals
12. Maxx- Eric Decker, WR, Jets

Round 6
1. Maxx- Golden Tate, WR, Lions
2. LL- Travis Kelce, TE, Chiefs
3. Plubby- Tyrod Taylor, QB, Bills
4. Lowerdeck- Donte Moncrief, WR, Colts
5. DYSI- LaDarius Green, TE, Steelers
6. Lineker- DeMarco Murray, RB, Titans
7. Dragsy- Julius Thomas, TE, Jaguars
8. Srar- Michael Floyd, WR, Cardinals
9. Lint- Jordan Matthews, WR, Eagles
10. Livid- Danny Woodhead, RB, Chargers
11. Damshow- Gary Barnidge, TE, Browns
12. Midget- Chris Ivory, RB, Jaguars

Round 7
1. Midget - DeAngelo Williams, RB, Steelers
2. Damshow - Allen Hurns, WR, Jaguars
3. Livid- Michael Crabtree, WR, Raiders
4. Lint- Anquan Boldin, WR, Lions
5. Srar- Duke Johnson, RB, Browns
6. Dragsy- Markus Wheaton, WR, Steelers
7. Lineker- Tyler Lockett, WR, Seahawks
8. DYSI- Jeremy Langford, RB, Bears
9. Lowerdeck- Ryan Matthews, RB, Eagles
10. Plubby- DeVante Parker, WR, Dolphins
11. LL- John Brown, WR, Cardinals
12. Maxx- Melvin Gordon, RB, Chargers

Round 8
1. Maxx- Tyler Eifert, TE, Bengals
2. LL- Kevin White, WR, Bears
3. Plubby- Frank Gore, RB, Colts
4. Lowerdeck- Martellus Bennett, TE, Patriots
5. DYSI- Emmanuel Sanders, WR, Broncos
6. Lineker- Denver Broncos Defense
7. Dragsy- Sterling Shepard, WR, Giants
8. Srar- Kirk Cousins, QB, Redskins
9. Lint- Matt Stafford, QB, Lions
10. Livid- Josh Gordon, WR, Browns
11. Damshow- Marvin Jones, WR, Lions
12. Midget- Kansas City Chiefs Defense

Round 9
1. Midget - Blake Bortles, QB, Jaguars
2. Damshow - Arizona Cardinals Defense
3. Livid- Theo Riddick, RB, Lions
4. Lint- Carolina Panthers Defense
5. Srar- DeSean Jackson, WR, Redskins
6. Dragsy- Giovani Bernard, RB, Bengals
7. Lineker- Derek Carr, QB, Raiders
8. DYSI- Travis Benjamin, WR, Chargers
9. Lowerdeck- Matt Jones, RB, Redskins
10. Plubby- Seattle Seahawks Defense
11. LL- Willie Snead, WR, Saints
12. Maxx- Tony Romo, QB, Cowboys

Round 10
1. Maxx- Michael Thomas, WR, Saints
2. LL- Justin Forsett, RB, Ravens
3. Plubby- Steven Gostkowski, K, Patriots
4. Lowerdeck- Tavon Austin, WR, Rams
5. DYSI- Pittsburgh Steelers Defense
6. Lineker- Zach Ertz, TE, Eagles
7. Dragsy- Jason Witten, TE, Cowboys
8. Srar- Zack Miller, TE, Bears
9. Lint- Steven Hauschka, K, Seahawks
10. Livid- Ameer Abdullah, RB, Lions
11. Damshow-Arian Foster, RB, Dolphins
12. Midget- Kamar Aiken, WR, Ravens

Round 11
1. Midget - Richard Rodgers, TE, Packers
2. Damshow - Andy Dalton, QB, Bengals
3. Livid- LaQuan Treadwell, WR, Vikings
4. Lint- Rashad Jennings, RB, Giants
5. Srar- Jameis Winston, QB, Buccaneers
6. Dragsy- Matt Ryan, QB, Falcons
7. Lineker- Dan Bailey, K, Cowboys
8. DYSI- Marcus Mariota, QB, Titans
9. Lowerdeck- Houston Texans Defense
10. Plubby- Jay Ajayi, RB, Dolphins
11. LL- Dwayne Allen, TE, Colts
12. Maxx- Cincinatti Bengals Defense

Round 12

1. Maxx- TJ Yeldon, RB, Jaguars
2. LL- Devin Funchess, WR, Panthers
3. Plubby- Antonio Gates, TE, Chargers
4. Lowerdeck- St. Louis Rams Defense
5. DYSI- Jerrick McKinnon, RB, Vikings
6. Lineker- Torrey Smith, WR, 49ers
7. Dragsy- Stephon Diggs, WR, Vikings
8. Srar- Derrick Henry, RB, Titans
9. Lint- Jimmy Graham, TE, Seahawks
10. Livid- Jimmy Garrapolo, QB, Patriots
11. Damshow-Jordan Howard, RB, Bears
12. Midget- James Jones, WR, Chargers

Round 13
1. Midget - Benjamin Watson, TE, Ravens
2. Damshow - Kyle Rudolph, TE, Vikings
3. Livid- Jared Cook, TE, Packers
4. Lint- Vincent Jackson, WR, Buccaneers
5. Srar- Charles Clay, TE, Bills
6. Dragsy- Isiah Crowell, RB, Browns
7. Lineker- Christine Michael, RB, Seahawks
8. DYSI- Clive Walford, TE, Raiders
9. Lowerdeck- Charles Sims, RB, Buccaneers
10. Plubby- Joe Flacco, QB, Ravens
11. LL- Steve Smith, WR, Ravens
12. Maxx- Alfred Morris, RB, Cowboys

Round 14
1. Maxx- Eric Ebron, TE, Lions
2. LL- Dak Prescott, QB, Cowboys
3. Plubby- Mohamed Sanu, WR, Falcons
4. Lowerdeck- Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Vikings
5. DYSI- Tyler Boyd, WR, Bengals
6. Lineker- Bilal Powell, RB, Jets
7. Dragsy- DeAndre Washington, RB, Raiders
8. Srar- Green Bay Packers Defense
9. Lint- Philadelphia Eagles Defense
10. Livid- Oakland Raiders Defense
11. Damshow-James Starks, RB, Packers
12. Midget- Pierre Garcon, WR, Redskins

Round 15
1. Midget - Ted Ginn, WR, Panthers
2. Damshow - Will Fuller, WR, Texans
3. Livid- Chandler Catanzaro, K, Chiefs
4. Lint- LeGarrette Blount, RB, Patriots
5. Srar- Phillip Dorsett, WR, Colts
6. Dragsy- Dorial Green-Beckham, WR, Eagles
7. Lineker- Corey Coleman, WR, Browns
8. DYSI- Tevin Coleman, RB, Falcons
9. Lowerdeck- Ryan Tannehill, QB, Dolphins
10. Plubby- Minnesota Vikings Defense
11. LL- New England Patriots Defense
12. Maxx- Robert Griffin III, QB, Browns

Round 16
1. Maxx- Tajae Sharpe, WR, Titans
2. LL- Justin Tucker, K, Ravens
3. Plubby- Kellen Moore, QB, Cowboys regrettably 
4. Lowerdeck- Graham Gano, K, Panthers
5. DYSI- Roberto Aguayo,K, Buccaneers
6. Lineker- Jordan Cameron, TE, Dolphins
7. Dragsy- Adam Vinatieri, K, Colts
8. Srar- Greg Zeurlein, K, Rams
9. Lint- Spencer Ware, RB, Chiefs
10. Livid-  Devontae Booker, RB, Broncos
11. Damshow- Brandon McManus, K, Broncos
12. Midget- Rishard Matthews, WR, Titans

[Your Mom]

This is the highest pick I've ever had. If you want something to jinx me that may be it

[Lowerdeck]

Someone wake me up when I can pick Derek Carr 9th overall

[Cactus Drags]

I always get the worst pick :/

[Lineker]

Still not worked out what I'm doing

[DMN in the House]

[Maxx]

1 hour ago, DMN said:

[DMN in the House]

41 minutes ago, Maxx said:

My fault for not being around.

[Cactus Drags]

10 hours ago, Lineker said:

Still not worked out what I'm doing

What are you having trouble with?

 

The league begins with a draft, just like the real NFL draft, only it snakes (so 12th in the first round gets 1st pick in the second and so on). Different leagues have different rules on how many players at each position, and there's usually at least one flex spot (where you can play a receiver or runnign back). You also draft players to fill your bench, usually players who will replace your starter in case of injury or the starter is on his bye week.

 

Each week, your team plays against one of the others. You set your lineup before the games start, and each of the players on your team earn points based on their performance (6 points for a td, 1 point for every 10 yards gained etc. Again, this varies league by league), these points contribute to your team's total. After all the players on yours and your opponent's teams have played for the week, the team with the highest total wins.

 

The league is split into divisions which work the same as the real NFL, the teams with the best winning records at the top and qualifying for playoff spots. Because not every NFL team makes the playoffs and therefore not everyone would have their full compliment of players to field, fantasy playoffs usually take place in week 15 and 16 (again, dependant on league).

 

That's the basic gist. I won't get too in depth, but you can also offer up trades with other teams and pick up free agents on the waiver wire (Yahoo seems to fuck me every single week with this, so I can't explain exactly how it works in our league, but the basic idea is that the worse a team is the better their waiver priority. So if we both wanted to pick up Jay Cutler for example, but you had a 3-2 record while I was 4-1, you would get him. I think). Once  player's team has started its game, your selection is locked, so you need to keep an eye on things like injury reports to make sure you don't put someone in who isn't going to play (similarly, keep an eye on thewaiver wire for back-ups to starters who get injured and will miss time).

 

Just checked our leaue page. Roster is as follows:

QB

RB

WR

TE

3 x Flex (RB/WR/TE)

K

DEF (You pick a team defense, not individual players)

 

You score points for the following:

1 point per 25 passing yards

1 point per 10 rushing or receiving yards

1 point per catch

6 points for a passing or receiving TD

7 points for a rushing or return TD (I don't know why, I'm pretty sure Maxx is on crack)

-2 for an INT or lost fumble

 

3 points for field goals under 40 yards

4 points for field goals between 40 and 50 yards

5 points for field goals over 50 yards

1 point for PAT

-5 for a FG miss under 20 yards

 

2 points for a sack, INT or fumble recovery by your defense

7 for a defensive TD

2 for a blocked kick

Points Allowed 0 points10

Points Allowed 1-6 points7

Points Allowed 7-13 points4

Points Allowed 14-20 points01

Points Allowed 21-27 points-10

Points Allowed 28-34 points-2-1

Points Allowed 35+ points-4

 

There's a couple of sites I can recommend for further advice:

sbnation.com/fantasy

nfl.com/fantasy

rotowire.com

 

[Maxx]

Also there's nearly a 100% chance you won't make the worst first round draft pick in league history.

[gunnar hendershow]

Lineker selects Brock Osweiler 7th overall.

[Berober]

1 hour ago, damshow said:

Lineker selects Brock Osweiler 7th overall.

As long as he doesn't pull the equivalent of picking Clay Buchholz in the first round, he should be fine.

[Meacon Keaton]

Yeah, Lineker. Don't draft Clay Buchholz until the tenth round.

[Lowerdeck]

Clay Buchholz in the first round probably isn't the worst first round pick either.

[Maxx]

[Your Mom]

I think his signature should have been the first clue about the quality of his posts

[RPS]

I joined a fantasy draft league and know zero about football, so my question is - 

Which one of you guys should I rip my picks from? Srar? 

[thatshortguy]

[Your Mom]

@thatshortguy if you take Matty Ice with the first pick I will say one nice thing about you in every post I make here for the next week  

[Plubby]

Going on Holiday? :3