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The Second Longest Draft Ever

thatshortguy

By thatshortguy
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thatshortguy

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I love you all, but [insert deity here] if you take longer than 24 hours to make a pick, you will be skipped with the quickness.  After the first nine rounds (just over halfway through), the limit changes to 12 hours per pick.  Those may change again if people take too long.  If a team misses the deadline three times during the draft, their deadline will immediately be set to six hours.

If you want to trade your draft picks or players, feel free to do so.  All parties involved just need to post here.

Player list esta alli.  Note that as I assign players to the drafting team, this list will change.

I'll also update this list as often as I can.

Draft Order is as follows.  Related:  eff me.

Round 1:  The Last First Round Ever
1.  @New Year New Srar! & The Srartown Sweeties - 
You Gat-damned Right Mike Motherfucking Trout, CF, Los Angeles Anaheim City of Compton Where They Keep It Rockin' Yeah They Keep It Rockin' C'mon Shake Shake It Baby, Shake Shake It CALIFORNIA ANGELS

2.  @Busch Hernandez & Keith's Mustache - 
Kris Bryant, 1B/3B/LF/RF/Concessions/Your Taxes, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs

3.  @Ace Berimmer & The Benintentional Walks -
Mookie You Bettah You Bettah You Betts, RF, Boston Red Sox

4.  @9 to 5 & The Potton Wolverines - 
Nolan Arenado, 3B, The Only Time You'll See The Colorado Rockies In The First of Anything

5.  @El TiBRRRAAAAUUUN & His Gas House Gorillas - 
Bryce Harper, Only RF?!, Washington Nationals

6.  @HC & Las Flamas Blancas (1) - 
Jose Altuve, 2B, The Only Houston Astros Player Anyone Knows

7.  @Cloudy & The Streakbreakers - 
Anthony Rizzo, 1B, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs

8.  @mattman1624 & Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - 
Miguel Cabrera, 1B, Detroit Tigers

9.  @Mad Jack & Sam's Superb Team - 
Manny Machado, 3B/SS, Baltimore Orioles

10. @Lowerdeck & The Based Gods (1) - 
Clayton Kershaw, SP, Los Angeles Dodgers

11.  @Twist & The Team of Noobitude - 
Paul Goldschmidt, 1B, Arizona Diamondbacks

12.  @Damian WayLNKe's Hakuna Machado - 
Josh Donaldson and His Feeble Human Body, 3B, Toronto Blue Jays

13.  @Ms. Canadian Destroyers - 
Corey Seager and His Pink, Feeble Human Body, SS, Los Angeles Dodgers

14.  @thatshortguy & Wisler's Mothers -
Daniel Murphy, 1B/2B, Washington Nationals

Round 2:  The One Where Nobody Took A Catcher!
15.  Wisler's Mothers - Jonathan Villar, 2B/3B/SS, Milwaukee Brewers
16.  Canadian Destroyers - Noah Syndergaard and His Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, SP, New York Syndergaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahds
17.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Trea Turner, 2B/CF, Minnesota Twins
18.  Team of Noobitude - Francisco Lindor, SS, Cleveland Indians
19.  The Based Gods (1) - Max Scherzer and His Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, SP, Washington Nationals
20.  Sam's Superb Team - Chris Sale, SP, Boston Red Sox
21.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - Madison Bumgarner, SP, San Francisco 
22.  Streakbreakers - Corey Kluber, SP, Cleveland Indians
23.  Las Flamas Blancas (1) - Carlos Correa, SS, The Only Other Houston Astro Player Anyone Knows
24.  Gas House Gorillas - Jake Arrieta, SP, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
25.  Potton Wolverines - Robinson Cano, 2B, Seattle Mariners
26.  Benintentional Walk - Charlie Blackmon, CF, Colorado Rockies
27.  Keith's Mustache - Xander Bogaers, SS, Boston Red Sox
28.  Srartown Sweeties - Joey Votto, 1B, Cincinnati Reds

Round 3:  The Last Pick Srar Ever Makes
29.  Srartown Sweeties - Starling Marte, LF/CF, Pittsburgh Pirates
30.  Keith's Mustache - Brian Dozier, 2B, Minnesota Twins
31.  The Benintentional Walks - Jon Lester, SP, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
32.  Potton Wolverines - Justin Verlander, SP, Detroit Tigers
33.  Gas House Gorillas - George Springer, RF, The, Um, Third Other Houston Astro Player People Know
34.  Las Flamas Blancas (1) - Giancarlo Stanton, RF, Miami Marlins
35.  Streakbreakers - Ryan Braun, LF, Milwaukee Brewers
36.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - Johnny Cueto, SP, San Francisco Giants
37.  Sam's Superb Team - Kyle Schwarber, C/LF, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
38.  The Based Gods (1) - Nelson Cruz, RF, Seattle Mariners
39.  Team of Noobitude - Rougned Odor, 2B, Texas Rangers
40.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Stephen Strasburg, SP, Washington Nationals
41.  The Canadian Destroyers - Freddie Freeman, 1B, THE ATLANTA BRAVES!!!
42.  Streakbreakers (via Wisler's Mothers) - Ian Desmond and His Squishy, Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, LF/CF, Colorado Rockies

Round 4:  The One Where Someone Else Probably Takes A Catcher
43.  Wisler's Mothers - Gregory Polanco, LF/RF, Pittsburgh Pirates
44.  Canadian Destroyers - Chris Archer, SP, Tampa Bay Rays
45.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Trevor Story, SS, Colorado Rockies
46.  Team of Noobitude - A.J. Pollock, CF, Arizona Diamondbacks
47.  The Based Gods - Edwin Encarnacion, 1B, Cleveland Indians
48.  Sam's Superb Team - Jose Abreu, 1B, Chicago White Sox
49.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - Yeonis Cespedes, LF/CF, New York Mets
50.  Wisler's Mothers (via Streakbreakers) - Buster Posey, C/1B, San Francisco Giants
51.  Las Flamas Blancas - Christian Yelich, LF/CF, Miami Marlins
52.  Gas House Gorillas - Gary Sanchez, C, New York Yankees
53.  Potton Wolverines - Kenley Jansen, RP, Los Angeles Dodgers
54.  Benintentional Walk - Wil Myers, 1B/RF, San Diego Padres
55.  Keith's Mustache - Yu Darvish, SP, Texas Rangers
56.  Srartown Sweeties - Carlos Gonzalez, RF, Colorado Rockies

Round 5:  The One Where We're Sorry, We Have No More Right Fielders
57.  Srartown Sweeties - Kyle Seager, 3B, Seattle Mariners
58.  Keith's Mustache - Andrew McCutchen, CF, Pittsburgh Pirates
59.  The Benintentional Walks - Carlos Carrasco, SP, Cleveland Indians
60.  Potton Wolverines - Jacob deGrom, SP, New York Mets
61.  Gas House Gorillas - Aroldis Chapman, RP, New York Yankees
62.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - Carlos Martinez, SP, St. Louis Cardinals
63.  Streakbreakers - Justin Upton, LF/CF, Detroit Tigers
64.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - Mark Trumbo, RF, Baltimore Orioles
65.  Sam's Superb Team - Kyle Hendricks, SP, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
66.  The Based Gods (1) - J.D. Martinez, RF, Detroit Tigers
67.  Team of Noobitude - Matt Kemp, LF/RF, THE ATLANTA BRAVES!!!
68.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Masahrio Tanaka, SP, New York Yankees
69.  The Canadian Destroyers - Adrian Beltre, 3B, Texas Rangers
70.  Wisler's Mothers - Jonathan Lucroy, C/1B, Texas Rangers

Round 6:  The One Where No, We're Not Halfway There Yet
71.  Wisler's Mothers - Jean Segura, 2B/SS, Seattle Mariners
72.  Canadian Destroyers - Ian Kinsler, 2B, Detroit Tigers
73.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - David Price and His Lame, Squishy, Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, SP, Boston Red Sox
74.  Team of Noobitude - Matt Carpenter and His Timid, Lame, Squishy, Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, 1B/2B/3B, St. Louis Cardinals
75.  The Based Gods (1) - Jose Quintana, SP, Chicago White Sox
76.  Sam's Superb Team - Dee Gordon, 2B, Miami Marlins
77.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - Evan Longoria, 3B, Tampa Bay Rays
78.  Streakbreakers - Hanley Ramirez and His Pliant, Tiny, Timid, Lame, Squishy, Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body 1B, Boston Red Sox
79.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - Anthony Rendon, 3B, Washington Nationals
80.  Gas House Gorillas - Billy Hamilton, CF, Cincinnati Reds
81.  Potton Wolverines - Khris Davis, LF, Oakland Athletics
82.  Benintentional Walk - Todd Frazier, 1B/3B, Chicago White Sox
83.  Keith's Mustache - Jose Bautista, RF, Toronto Blue Jays
84.  Srartown Sweeties - Zach Britton, RP, Baltimore Orioles

Round 7:  The One Where Son of Srar Makes His First Picks!
85.  Srartown Sweeties - DJ LaMahieu, 2B, Minnesota Twins
86.  Keith's Mustache - Cole Hamels, SP, Texas Rangers
87.  The Benintentional Walks - Jason Kipnis and His Behatted, Pliant, Tiny, Timid, Lame, Squishy, Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, 2B, Cleveland Indians
88.  Potton Wolverines - Albert Pujols - 1B, The Second Angel Picked
89.  Gas House Gorillas - Who the Hell Is Michael Fulmer, SP, Detroit Tigers
90.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - Where Oh Where Did That Seung Hwan Oh, RP, St. Louis Cardinals
91.  Streakbreakers - Adam Jones, CF, Tool
92.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs (1) - Dustin Pedroia, 2B, Boston Red Sox
93.  Sam's Superb Team - Edwin Diaz, RP, Seattle Mariners
94.  The Based Gods (1) - Rick Porcello, SP, Boston Red Sox
95.  Team of Noobitude - Alex Bregman, 3B, Houston Astros?!?
96.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Chris Davis, 1B, Baltimore Orioles
97.  The Canadian Destroyers - Eric Hosmer, 1B, Kansas City Royals
98.  Wisler's Mothers - Jose Ramirez, 3B/LF, Cleveland Indians

Round 8:  The One Where Short Guy Takes A Pitch---No He Doesn't
99.  Wisler's Mothers - Ben Zobrist, 2B/LF/RF, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
100.  Canadian Destroyers - Gerrit Cole, SP, Pittsburgh Pirates
101.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Andrew Miller, RP, Cleveland Indians
102.  Team of Noobitude - Mark Melancon, RP, San Francisco Giants
103.  The Based Gods (1) - Aldemys Diaz, SS, St. Louis Cardinals
104.  Sam's Superb Team - Wilson Contreras, C/LF, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
105.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs (1) - Addison Russell, SS, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs (Who We Obviously Expect to Repeat)
106.  Streakbreakers - Javier Baez, 2B/3B/SS, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs (Who We Obviously Expect to Win the Next Two Series)
107.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - KENTA Itami Maeda, SP, Los Angeles Dodgers
108.  Gas House Gorillas - Steven Matz, SP, New York Mets
109.  Potton Wolverines - Jackie Bradley Jr., CF, Boston Red Sox
110.  Benintentional Walk - Carlos Santana, 1B, Cleveland Indians
111.  Keith's Mustache - Craig Thatsonofabitch Kimbrel, RP, Boston Red Sox
112.  Srartown Sweeties - Jose Peraza, 2B/SS/LF/CF, Cincinnati Reds

Round 9:  The One Where WE HAVE PICKED UP SOME STEAM!
113.  Srartown Sweeties - Roberto Osuna, RP, Toronto Blue Jays
114.  Keith's Mustache - Justin Turner, 3B, Los Angeles Dodgers
115.  The Benintentional Walks - Wade Davis, RP, The Defending Champion Chicago Cubs
116.  Potton Wolverines - Danny Duffy, SP/RP, Kansas City Royals
117.  Gas House Gorillas - Logan Forsythe, 2B, Los Angeles Dodgers
118.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - Lorenzo Cain, CF/RF, Kansas City Royals
119.  Streakbreakers - Zack Greinke, SP, Arizona Diamondbacks
120.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs (1) - Aaron Sanchez, SP, Toronto Blue Jays
121.  Sam's Superb Team - Adam Eaton, CF/RF, Washington Nationals
122.  The Based Gods (1) - Cody Allen, RP, Cleveland Indians
123.  Team of Noobitude - Miguel Sano, 3B/RF, Minnesota Twins
124.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Kendrys Morales, 1B/RF, Toronto Blue Jays
125.  The Canadian Destroyers - Odubel Herrera, CF, Philadelphia Phillies
126.  Wisler's Mothers - Joc Pederson, CF, Los Angeles Dodgers

Round 10:  The One Where We CHANGE THE DEADLINE TO TWELVE HOURS!!!
127.  Wisler's Mothers - Chris Owings, SS/CF, Arizona Diamondbacks
128.  Canadian Destroyers (1) - Stephen Heya Doya Think It's-a Racist If-a I Say His Name Like-a Piscotty, CF/RF, St. Louis Cardinals
129.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Andrew Benintendi, LF, Boston Red Sox
130.  Team of Noobitude - Delin Betances, RP, New York Yankees
131.  The Based Gods (1) - David Dahl and His Lackluster, Behatted, Pliant, Tiny, Timid, Lame, Squishy, Weak, Soft, Pink, Feeble Human Body, LF/CF, Colorado Rockies
132.  Sam's Superb Team - Julio Tehran, SP, THE ATLANTA BRAVES!!!
133.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs (1) - Rajai Davis, LF/CF, Oakland Athletics
134.  Streakbreakers - Hunter Pence, RF, San Francisco Giants
135.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - Matt Harvey and His Terrible, Lackluster, Behatted, Wait...He's Not Injured?!, SP, New York Mets
136.  Gas House Gorillas - Adrian Gonzalez, 1B, Los Angeles Dodgers
137.  Potton Wolverines (1) - Rich Hill, SP, Los Angeles Dodgers (Who We All Expect To Lose To Chicago In The NLCS)
138.  Benintentional Walk - Troy Tulowitzki, SS, Toronto Blue Jays
139.  Keith's Mustache - Marcell Ozuna, LF/CF/RF, Miami Marlins
140.  Srartown Sweeties - Danny Salazar, SP, Cleveland Indians

Round 11:  The One Where We Have A Trade To Announce!
141.  Srartown Sweeties - Felix Hernandez, SP, Seattle Mariners
142.  Keith's Mustache - Kelvin Herrera, RP, Kansas City Royals
143.  The Benintentional Walks - Ken Giles, RP, HOUSTON?!?
144.  Potton Wolverines (1) - Adam Duvall, LF/RF, Cincinnati Reds
145.  Gas House Gorillas - Eduardo Nunez, 3B/SS, San Francisco Giants
146.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - He Done Went and Got His Brandon Belt, 1B, Pittsburgh Pirates
147.  Streakbreakers - David Robertson, RP, Chicago White Sox
148.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs (1) - Tanner Roark, SP, Washington Nationals
149.  Sam's Superb Team (1) - Luke Gregorson, RP, AGAIN WIF DA HOUSTON?!
150.  The Based Gods (1) - Jonathan Schoop Schoop-a-Doop, Schoo-a-Doop-a-Doop-a-Doop, 2B, Baltimore Orioles
151.  Team of Noobitude - Curtis Granderson, LF/CF/RF, New York Mets
152.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - J.T. Reamuto, C, Miami Marlins
153.  The Canadian Destroyers (2) - The Only Thing I Can Say About Jeurys Familia Is :(N): , RP, New York Mets
154.  Streakbreakers (by way of Wisler's Mothers) - Evan Gattis, C, Houston?!?!?!??111!?!?

Round 12:  The One Where We Madly Try to Get One More Round In Before Another Deadline Change
155.  Wisler's Mothers - Herman Perez, 2B/3B/CF/RF, Milwaukee Brewers
156.  Canadian Destroyers (3) - Yasmani Grandal, C, Los Angeles Dodgers
157.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - But Who Will Challenge Nate Jones, RP, Chicago White Sox
158.  Team of Noobitude - Julio Urias, SP, Los Angeles Dodgers
159.  The Based Gods (1) - Salvador Perez, C, Kansas City Royals
160.  Sam's Superb Team - Francisco Rodriguez, RP, Detroit Tigers
161.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs (1) - A.J. Ramos, RP, Miami Marlins
162.  Streakbreakers - Maikel Franco, 3B, Philadelphia Phillies
163.  Las Flamas Blancas (2) - Michael Brantley, LF, Cleveland Indians
164.  Gas House Gorillas - Yasmany Tomas, LF/RF, Arizona DIamondbacks
165.  Potton Wolverines (1) - Elvis Andrus, SS, Texas Rangers
166.  Benintentional Walk - Marcus Stroman, SP, Toronto Blue Jays
167.  Keith's Mustache - Victor Martinez, 1B, Detroit Tigers
168.  Srartown Sweeties - Dallas Keuchel, SP, Houston Astros11111/1/1/1/1/1/1/11/1/1/1/1

Round 13:  The One Where We Are Down to the Wire (Deadlines Down to Six Hours!)
169.  Srartown Sweeties - John Lackey, SP, THE DEFENDING CHAMPION CHICAGO CUBS!
170.  Keith's Mustache - Jameson Taillon, SP, Pittsburgh Pirates
171.  The Benintentional Walks - Jake Lamb, 3B, Arizona Diamondbacks
172.  Potton Wolverines - Kevin Gausman, SP, Baltimore Orioles
173.  Gas House Gorillas - Brandon Crawford, SS, San Francisco Giants
174.  Las Flamas Blancas - Garrett Richards, SP, Los Angeles Angels
175.  Streakbreakers - Asdrubal Cabrera, SS, New York Mets
176.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - J.A. Happ, SP, Toronto Blue Jays
177.  Sam's Superb Team - Kole Calhoun, RF, Los Angeles Angels
178.  The Based Gods - Nomar Mazara, LF/RF, Texas Rangers
179.  Team of Noobitude - Addison Reed, RP, New York Mets
180.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Shawn Kelley, RP, Washington Nationals
181.  The Canadian Destroyers - Alex Colome, RP, Tampa Bay Rays
182.  Wisler's Mothers - Matt Shoemaker, SP, Los Angeles Angels

Round 14:  The One Before We Descend Into Complete Chaos For The Last Time
183.  Wisler's Mothers - Michael Wacha, SP, St. Louis Cardinals
184.  Canadian Destroyers - Brad Miller, 1B/SS, Tampa Bay Rays
185.  LNK's Hakuna Machado - Ryon Healy, 3B, Oakland Athletics
186.  Team of Noobitude - Lance McCullers Jr., SP, HOOOOSSTUNNN!?!?!??1/1/?!ONE
187.  The Based Gods - James Paxton, SP, Seattle Mariners
188.  Sam's Superb Team - Jeff Samardzija, SP, San Francisco Giants
189.  Kawada's Gonzo Bombs - Sam Dyson, RP, Texas Rangers
190.  Streakbreakers - Cam Bedrosian, RP, Los Angeles Angels
191.  Las Flamas Blancas - Yadier Molina, C, St. Louis Cardinals
192.  Gas House Gorillas - Mike Moustakas, 3B, Kansas City Royals
193.  Potton Wolverines - Brian McCann, C, HEWSTINQUESTIONMARKPOINTYLINEWITHDOTUNDERIT?!
194.  Benintentional Walk - Eric Thames, LF/RF, Milwaukee Brewers
195.  Keith's Mustache - Wellington Castillo, C, Baltimore Orioles
196.  Srartown Sweeties - Russell Martin, C, Toronto Blue Jays
197.  Srartown Sweeties - Carlos Gomez, LF/CF/RF, Texas Rangers

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thatshortguy
thatshortguy

I love you all, but [insert deity here] if you take longer than 24 hours to make a pick, you will be skipped with the quickness.  After the first nine rounds (just over halfway through), the limit cha

Your Mom
Your Mom

Well I know this means I won't get the highly ranked player I was originally eyeing before the draft order was announced but this pick is YEARS in the making...     Mike MOTHER FUCKING

The Buscher
The Buscher

It's like Dario Cueto is celebrating every Canadian Destroyer pick.

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The Buscher Hall Of Famer

The Buscher

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3 hours ago, New Year New Srar! said:

Well I know this means I won't get the highly ranked player I was originally eyeing before the draft order was announced

I think I may have a hunch.....

kris-bryant-chicago-cubs-world-series-wi

Kris Bryant, A Billion Positions, Chicago Cubs

The #2 draft spot is actually a really tough decision this year.  I had two players ranked ever so slightly higher but they're all really good and when push comes to shove I can't deny the perks of position eligibility with the roster situation as it is in this league.

The defending champ @Ace Berimmer is on the clock.

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