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TheRaySays

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  1. Oh, that's evil. I can do 8 PM MST on Fridays. How fiddly is Foundry? I've only used Roll20 and Fantasy Grounds, and I despise Fantasy Grounds. As unlikely as it seems, I also have not played/run Phandelver, so it'd be fresh to me.
  2. I totally want to get one of those "100 _____ Movies" scratch-off posters, mostly because I love scratch-offs, and I love movies, but I hate lottery tickets. I don't even care if I've already seen most of the films, I'd rewatch them and scratch away one at a time.
  3. "I wish I was filthy rich." "It is granted." "I wish my E-Fed was real." "As you wish." "I wish WWE would just go away." "Okay, you're going to have to give me a minute..." "I wish the Jacksonville Jaguars win the Super Bowl." "Seriously, Tony. You're pushing it."
  4. I have very specific and often iconoclastic thoughts when it comes to D&D (and other TTRPGs), but here they are, for whatever they're worth. There's been a trend, exacerbated by the desire for Wizards et al. to sell overwrought adventure paths rather than simple, concise adventures (or, Gruumsh-forbid, a damn sandbox), and online actual plays (which are most often performances, and not "actual" play at all) to sell "stories," which is really NOT what TTRPGs are for. The story comes as a RESULT of play, not as an ingredient. So, for all of these concepts, I would start with a quick review of three classic examples (let's say, Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, and L.A. Confidential) and then just make a quick list of the ingredients for each, maybe 12 NPCs, 12 locations, and 12 items. Any more than that is overkill, and you don't need to have exhaustive detail for most. The street urchin informant, for example, doesn't need combat stats, he just dies if you're a jerk and you hit him with something sharp and/or heavy. His value is in providing information, perhaps repeatedly over time. After that, all you need is a compelling opening to bait the hook. Drop the PCs in the middle of something interesting. The important part to remember is it is NOT the DM's job to determine potential outcomes. That's what the dice are for. The DM's job is like that of a theme park designer. You want some things off in the distance where the players can hear screaming and maybe see a loop, but they're not sure what it is or how to get there. Other attractions are right up front. Keep them moving through the setting. There should always be something interesting in their face, on the horizon, and off in the distance. Everything else is just playing to see what happens. Don't hold your NPCs as precious. You have an unlimited supply of characters, some stock, some significant, but let the chips fall where they may. If the party kills the King of Turan, let them reap both the rewards and the risks of that endeavor. They're NON-player characters. That includes you. If you want to "play" a character rather than present them as part of a living, breathing setting, let someone else DM. But, what do I know? Just doing a thing for 40+ years doesn't make one an expert. To be more specific to the actual request: -A noir style investigation = A macguffin and at least 3 interested parties at cross purposes to obtain and/or destroy it. Think of obvious motivations for each (the wizard wants to research it, the cleric wants to destroy it, etc.) and then shuffle them (the cleric wants it to use it as bait, the wizard wants to destroy it because it could thwart an undisclosed scheme, etc.). For each piece of crucial information, identify at least 3 ways the PCs can discover it. Have them hired by one (or more) of the interested parties who provide incomplete information (either purposefully or just because they don't have all the facts themselves). -gang war = Well, obviously, you need gangs. Four should be enough plus the PCs. Give them varied motivations. Make at least one of them memorably unusual (led by an intelligant Undead, from an alternate reality/plane, Dopplegangers who've replaced the original gang, etc.). -bounty hunting = A patron organization providing/paying the bounties, a variety of wanted criminals (four or five should be plenty to start), rival bounty hunters, interesting settings (box canyon, urban hellscape, abandoned industrial area, etc.). -smuggling = Most smuggling is boring as it revolves around tax evasion. You could always make it unusual contraband, like Myconids who are ground into a psychotropic drug by ruthless alchemists. Who wants/needs the contraband, who doesn't want it smuggled (authorities? dominant gang?), where does it come from, and what are the obstacles in between (a treacherous river, a fallen kingdom in the Underdark, airships traversing a veil of storms, etc.). -heists = One of the most difficult genres to capture at the table. Basically, just create an impossible fortress/vault/etc. and let the players figure out how to deal with it. As stated earlier, the DM is NOT responsible for outcomes. You do need to be careful to scale it to PC abilities. 1st Level characters have zero chance of liberating an Efreeti Crown from a vault in the heart of the City of Brass. This is basically a "Treasure on a Pole Match." Make them climb for it. TL;DR. Hope that helps.
  5. Bad Santa, specifically the "Badder Santa" cut Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
  6. He was fun to play with, but he was the type of guy who explained everything in great detail to his fiancee and burned through eight characters in a year. Meanwhile, she played the same kick-ass barbarian the whole time while smiling and nodding, "Yes, dear. Of course, dear. Yep, you almost got him. I'm gonna take the magic scimitar off your dead fighter, though." All snark aside, I miss them both and hope they're well.
  7. I had a player whose low level mage dove into a pool to fetch a glowing rod. The rest of the party just immediately walked away. They didn't even stick around to watch him inevitably get eaten by one of those Ixitwhatsit vampiric devil ray things. I don't think of my games as "stupid," per se, but there do seem to be a lot of stupid prizes. For those seeking enjoyable "meat-grinder" experiences, I cannot recommend the Dungeon Crawl Classics 0-level funnel adventures enough. Who doesn't want to play a halfling baker armed only with a rolling pin? Everyone starts with 4x 0-level nobodies. Those who survive level up and become bonafide adventurers. Those who don't, don't.
  8. Anyone messed around with/interested in the World Wide Wrestling RPG? Site. I'm not totally sold on the Second Edition, but I did run a game using the First Edition and no one died. As a "Powered by the Apocalypse" (PbtA) game, it has a totally different feel than most people are used to with D&D. Much more collaborative and driven by player creation/interaction than the usual "Declare Action - Roll Dice - Apply Results - Repeat," but this can be daunting to more passive folks who prefer the GM just tell them a story where they're the star. Anywho, despite being pretty noob-friendly, the genre does seem to get in the way for tabletop gamers who don't care about wrestling as it uses terms like "kayfabe" and "face/heel." I would argue that shit like the World of Darkness and its super-specific lingo (Celerity? WTF?) is hella more arcane and goofy, but I'm admittedly a near-lifelong fan of both wrestling and RPGs. I'm curious to see if it plays better with wrestling fans who are less familiar with RPGs since it at least starts in a familiar genre/setting. If I were to attempt such an endeavor, would there be any interest? My track record is less than spectacular for sticking with stuff, but Roll20 makes setting up an online game super simple. The cat wrangling required to get people on the same timeframe is much more challenging, but that's always been the nature of the beast.
  9. I went through my playlists and "Liked Songs" on Spotify looking for ones that didn't have "Plays" listed because they're under 1,000. There were a few I thought would qualify, but they were far more popular than I would've guessed. In some cases, I might've been the person who got them over 1,000.
  10. It was interesting that they originally went with a more modern, lupine design but backtracked because Giacchino did not want Bernal lost in the monster design. There's also a bit of a nod to "El Hombre Lobo" Paul Naschy that may get developed further in future appearances.
  11. Ooh, this is a tough one. Very specific, as you pointed out. Foreign films with subtitles seemed right out. Here's what I've got... Grabbers (2012, 94 min.) - I tried to mostly stay away from horror, but this is a goofy monster movie set in a sleepy fishing village in Ireland. The dialogue is snappy and the pacing is steady, so it's a good pick for folding laundry or filing paperwork or the like. It's become a St. Patrick's Day tradition for me. Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016, 101 min.) - A little longer than 90 minutes, but I think this is the pick that best fits your chosen genre. Sam Neill's a cranky rural misanthrope who has to spend time with his citified foster nephew. They end up on a heartwarming and madcap adventure, subject to an international manhunt. Also full of fun, back-and-forth dialogue. Free Fire (2016, 90 min.) - An arms deal between a bunch of over-the-top criminals in 1970s Boston goes horribly awry. Feels like the cliché climax of every gangster film jammed together to the point where it becomes (intentionally) laughable.
  12. Completely standalone, though it will change the landscape in a certain sense. No mid-credits nor after credits stingers during the screening, though I'm curious to see if one gets added for streaming.
  13. It was a surprise Secret Screening at Fantastic Fest in Austin, TX last week. Was cool to see it on the big screen.
  14. Really enjoyed Werewolf By Night. It felt aimed directly at me as a love letter to Universal Monsters, Hammer Horror, Mortal Kombat, and janky-ass 70s Marvel monster comics. I just wish they didn't already waste Morbius on that crap Sony deal because he would've been perfect for a similar treatment. Hope they do one of these every Halloween season.
  15. Wildcats (1986) - Goldie Hawn is given the unenviable task of turning a bunch of losers into a competitive high school football team. Despite her predictable success, this isn't exactly a feminist film since in 1986 the entire concept was unthinkable to everyone in the cast and in the presumed audience. Still, it was a staple of my childhood and chock full of people who went on to become icons. Best of the Best (1989) - Somehow, this film uses the "How will they coexist?!" gimmick on a U.S. Tae Kwon Do team. Dumb fun. I'm sure the training montage(s) in this inspired a whole slew of parodies, but this is the source code. Goon (2011) - Semi-biographical, but honestly more archetypal. A lovable loser unites the rest of the self-serving idiots behind his innocent team spirit. I haven't seen a lot of hockey movies, but this is definitely my favorite.
  16. This is kinda tough because I don't know who you would recognize. Most movies with "big stars" are going to bank on those stars and will often be hot garbage. That said, here's three from this year (two forthcoming) that I think fit the bill: The Banshees of Inisherin (Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Kerry Condon) - Gorgeous film set in rural Ireland during the Irish Civil War (1922? 23?). Two friends have a falling out when one decides he'd rather pursue his love of music than waste his life in the pub with his pal. Very funny, but gets very intense at times. Solid Best Picture candidate. Releases in USA on 10/21/22. The Menu (Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Fiennes, John Leguizamo) - Couples travel to a remote island for an exclusive multi-course meal painstakingly crafted by a celebrated and demanding chef. Everything and everyone is not as it seems, of course. Full of wit and clever twists, this one's a real crowd-pleaser. Releases in USA on 11/18/22. The Northman (Alexander Skarsgård, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman) - Hamlet reskinned as a Conan the Barbarian-style adventure tale. Beautifully filmed with solid performances, the final battle is breathtaking. Inexplicably streaming on Peacock of all places. Admittedly, it would've been better with Roman Reigns and Sami Zayn, but you can't have everything.
  17. These were both pretty challenging. Hope I find you something new and exciting. "Something that has the feel of the Golden Age of Hollywood, but was made in the last decade." Hail, Caesar! (2016) - This feels like the obvious, safe choice, but I still think it's an underrated Coen Brothers film. Josh Brolin plays real life studio fixer Eddie Mannix, tasked with locating a missing Hollywood star in 1951. Delightfully cynical with a killer cast. Grand Piano (2013) - Elijah Wood channels his inner Jimmy Stewart in this Hitchcockian thriller. He's a concert pianist trying to make his grand return, but deathly afraid of making a mistake and embarrassing himself on stage. A sniper's challenge soon turns his fear into a grim reality as one false note threatens to be his last. The World Is Yours (2018) - This caper set in the south of France feels like an old school Rat Pack movie in the modern style of Guy Ritchie (Snatch). More high gloss and glam than Ritchie's London. Make an ice cream sundae (or whatever your preferred frozen treat) and get cozy for this one. "Movies that are Knives Out-ish." Clue (1985) - Another safe choice. I'd be shocked if this classic ensemble murder mystery comedy didn't partially inspire Knives Out. The Nice Guys (2016) - Slightly less cozy than Knives, but fits the mold of a witty detective story with charismatic characters straddling both sides of the morality fence. Bad Times at the El Royale (2018) - Convoluted mystery with a talented cast just going completely over the top in a limited setting. Effectively captures that "Trust no one" vibe.
  18. With my ticket to Back to the Future 2 back in the day, I got to attend a test screening of Tremors. Interesting that there are now more sequels to the latter than the former. Anyway, this might stretch "modern" a bit, but 2010 doesn't feel remotely dated to me just yet. Sennentuntschi: Curse of the Alps (2010) - Has an Alpine folk horror vibe but isn't supernatural. Running just under two hours, it’s surprising that it doesn’t really rely on stunning vistas or unsettling imagery, and it never feels drawn out. This is a very character-driven piece and almost plays out like a missing persons procedural. Not that the setting doesn’t play a key role. There are several moments where the viewer is starkly reminded that this village exists on the edge of a cliff, physically and metaphorically. Fair warning that the film goes to some predictably dark places, including multiple instances of sexual violence. The Man in the Orange Jacket (2014) - The titular figure is a disgruntled harbor worker who, with clearly murderous intent, invades the posh manor home of the executive responsible for a spate of recent layoffs. Even that is questionable, though, as this minimalist suspense thriller contains very little dialogue and is deliberately ambiguous throughout. It reminded me a bit of Psycho in that it establishes its premise early and anticipates audience expectations, defying them at every subsequent turn. Rock, Paper and Scissors (2019) - As befits the title, this is a three-hander about a woman returning home to sort out the estate of her dead father. Unfortunately, her younger stepsiblings have been cooped up caring for dad perhaps far too long. This then becomes a game of manipulation as she tries to survive their deranged games and ministrations. Oh, and this turns The Wizard of Oz into pure horror, as it should be.
  19. Yeah, same with 2020: Texas Gladiators. Sadly, most of those films have some seriously crude misogyny that sucks the fun right out of them. There's a super fine line between grim and gross. Road Warrior skirts the line then George Miller goes in a more interesting direction IMHO with Thunderdome and Fury Road. Lucio Fulci's Warriors of the Year 2072 is kinda fun in a community theater Running Man sorta way, but I don't think even the most generous projection has me making it to 2072, let alone past it. Of course, that brings up The Running Man (1987), which is set somewhere in the 2017-2019 timeframe after "The Big Quake of '97" messes up California. For an even more satirical spin on the core premise, there's Death Race 2000 (1975). Rollerball (1975) is a more serious take on "futuristic death sports," this time in 2018, after the Corporate Wars (Coke vs. Pepsi? WWF vs. WCW?) nearly destroyed the planet. Would make a good pairing with the aforementioned Soylent Green. For both Death Race 2000 and Rollerball, stick to the originals even if the Rollerball remake has Shane-O-Mac and Paul Heyman.
  20. Good call! Tight film with lots of little bits of dystopian cyberpunk outside of the "big reveal" meme.
  21. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981) - Solid post-apoc adventure. Some prop details set the original at 1983 and this one's a few years later. All were extrapolated from the 1973 oil crisis in Australia. Much like historical details in the Marvel Universe, this timeline has been subtly sliding forward as new movies get released in the series. Blade Runner (1982) - The opening text, before we see anything else, is "Los Angeles - November, 2019". I, for one, welcome our robot overlords. They're less likely to make me attend a meeting to plan the next meeting. Future Force (1989) - This one isn't really forecasting too far, since they set their Robocop rip-off in the "future" of 1991. I'd imagine it's really so they can use contemporary cars instead of mocking up a 6000 SUX sedan and not because they're making some bold statement about the near future. It does have David Carradine swaggering around proudly wearing the Nintendo Power Glove, so that's a thing that happened. You can definitely make your own fun with this one. Sorry that two are classics and the third is a turd, but it's tough panning for gold in retro sci-fi. There's some hidden gems, sure, but a lot of the good stuff got noticed while there are piles of worthless knock-offs. Honorable mention, I suppose, goes to Gattaca (1997), but while a great piece of retro-futurism, it doesn't give an indication of when it's set (feels extrapolated to 1997 from a divergence in the early 1950s) and was not from "the 70's or 80's" and hence does not meet your criteria. A solid lazy Sunday watch, though.
  22. Fires on the Plain (1959) - A bunch of Japanese troops are left to die in the closing days of WWII. The juxtaposition of the horrors of war with lush photography and scenery is a deliberate contrast. But, yeah, this is a slow, meandering stroll to the grave, so pack a lunch. After Blue (Dirty Paradise) (2021) - French lesbian Mandalorian. Sam Peckinpah's Barbarella. Kind of a long, languid Euro sci-fi western like you used to get serialized across countless issues of Heavy Metal magazine. You Won't Be Alone (2022) - Meandering folk horror about cycles of abuse, gender roles, and what it means to be human. If that sounds pretentious, well, that's because it kinda is, but it is also occasionally profound. The 19th Century rural Macedonian setting is very specific and well-realized, but the themes are sadly quite universal. Make sure you're all eyes, too. Weekend at Bernie's II (1993) - Embalmed Booglaoo. Looker (1981) - Terry "Bernie" Kiser has a cameo in this underrated anti-capitalist sci-fi thriller as the director of a commercial. Honestly surprised the film's own director (Michael Crichton of Jurassic Park fame) didn't take that cameo himself, but then again, he always struck me as the type of guy who'd rather watch. Tammy and the T-Rex (1994) - Terry "Bernie" Kiser plays Dr. Wachenstein, a mad scientist who puts Paul Walker's brain in an animatronic dinosaur. Denise Richards plays his love interest. Easily the highlight of the respective career of everyone involved. I'm not responsible for any brain damage this film may cause. Shadow of the Vampire (2000) is indeed about the making of Nosferatu, features Willem Dafoe, and is NOT about the making of Shadow of the Vampire. I suppose that would be Shadow of Shadow of the Vampire. Might be included with an upcoming Blu Ray remaster, not sure.
  23. I watch a lot of movies. I've got 33 lined up in a film festival later this week. I've also been reviewing everything I watch (including cartoons) on Letterboxd since June 28, 2020 (unemployment and a global pandemic double-teaming you will do that) and have 339 entries thus far this year. But I'm not here to pimp that. No, I'm here to be your personal movie sommelier. To beat the algorithm. For free. Need a movie recommendation? Lay it on me. Give me a basic idea of what you're looking for ("Space opera that isn't more freaking Star Wars" or "A horror movie with no violence" or "A sports movie NOT based on a true story"), and I'll give you one or more suitable recommendations or DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK! You can't beat that deal. I may not respond instantly (and I'll be AFK for a bit, as mentioned at the top), but I WILL respond to any and every request in here. My tastes are pretty eclectic, but this isn't about my tastes. It's about yours, and I have no issues recommending a movie that isn't my cup of tea if I think it'd fit what you're after. What have you got to lose?! Other than 50-180 min. or so watching something you've never heard of based on the recommendation of a stranger on the internet.
  24. Original Copy (2015) is available to rent on Amazon Prime and highly recommended: "Bollywood stars shine larger than life in the one-of-a-kind film posters hand painted by Mumbai's last screen painter, but as his workshop is threatened by demolition and his livelihood by plastic posters, he fights to pass on his craft." Bill's Big Pumpkins (2007) is almost too wholesome to believe and totally appropriate for the season. Surprisingly entertaining. Cannon Arm and the Arcade Quest (2021) is a bit overwritten, with musings on the nature of time, genius, and conformity as well as a quick, but comprehensive overview of arcade game history, but it has a lot of heart. While it is centered on one man's quest to achieve 100 hours on Gyruss, the friends that surround him are what it's really all about. Straightforward, but charming.
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