Mick

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as "You're Reading This in My Voice" and "Blinking and Breathing Manually: You're Doing it Now!" I'm here to tell you about my upcoming hit TV series, "You Now Have The Sudden Urge To Yawn", and be sure to look for me in my upcoming documentary, "Why Can't My Tongue Find a Comfortable Place in My Mouth?"

Commander, the aliens continue to make progress on the Avatar project. If we're going to slow them down, we need to move fast.

Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.

You load sixteen tons what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt

Happy Leif Erikson Day! HINGA DINGA DURGEN

I'm a Scotsman playing an Egyptian from Spain teaching a Frenchman who can barely speak English who is playing a Scotsman who will fight a Russian played by an American of European ancestry.

Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Helga? Is it St. Swithun's Day already? 

Eveything is a source of fun
Nobody's safe, for we care for none
Life is a joke that's just begun

You may be a man. You may be a leprechaun. But one things for sure...you're in the wrong basement. I'm gonna see if you bleed green. 

'Le Grille'?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah: "Don't drive on the railroad track."

I hereby claim the first status update of 2021!

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.

If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs.

You have three days. If my twenty billion dollars are not delivered by then, the hostages will die, and the world will hold you responsible! 

People think I'm crazy, 
'Cause I worry all the time. 
If you paid attention you'd be worried, too. 

You better pay attention, or this world we love so much might just kill you. 

THE!

We've got to move these refrigerators, 
We've got to move these color TVs...

Just a heads-up: That coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe. Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction.

Hey you. You're finally awake. 

It's like Lenin said, you look for the person who will benefit... And, uh... You know, you'll, uh...

Yeah, yeah, I got it. Ninja-style, right. COME OUT, YOU OLD BASTARD!

What was I laughing at now? ...Oh yes, that crippled Irishman! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO! STONE COLD IS COMING TO RAW, WOOOO!