Mick

Heard they're reforming the Dawnguard! Vampire hunters or something. In the old fort near Riften. Might consider joining up myself!

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LET HIM GO, STAY ON THE LEADER. 

Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you." Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

 Ice Bear would rather take his chances out there on the ocean than to stay here and die on this shithole island, spending the rest of his life talking...

...TO A GODDAMN VOLLEY BALL!

ICE BEAR IS TIRED OF CLOUDY >:( 

Ice Bear does not care for wild fires. 

Ice Bear has updated his status. 

Ice Bear only needs one status  update at a time.

Ice Bear doesn't care for fake news. Sad. 

Ice Bear settled that out of court.

Ice Bear requires booster seat.

Ice Bear has a conspiracy theory.

Ice Bear bought these legally. 

Mrs. Jacoby in human form, do you see?

Mrs. Leeds in human form, do you see?

Mrs. Jacoby changing, do you see?

Mrs. Leeds changing, do you see?

Mrs. Jacoby reborn, do you see?

Mrs. Leeds reborn, do you see?

This stuff's made in New York City!

A-dored! Come on, let's be honest, Lew. You paid for the women!

Gentlemen, as you know, the Ultimate Warrior ---- FUCK IT!

BUILD AN ARK NOAH. 

Radiant cool, crazy nightmares, Zen New Jersey nowhere.

So, a Bloodninja walks into a cyber cafe...

YES. I'M FUCKING DEAF!

Get a room. 

Dad, no one wants to hear your stupid Vietnam stories!

Oh, in case you got covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice that the lab boys gave me: DO NOT get covered in the repulsion gel. 

We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: It's a lively one, and it does NOT like the human skeleton.

Thmath the beetleth, thamth 'em! KTHUNK KTHUNK KTHUNK!