^That's a damn sight better than I got while Southend boss^
Managing Newcastle isn't going so well. I need a massive squad clear out because they're all aging, and my one signing for the season just isn't going to work out. I bought Alan Smith to partner Nicolas Anelka up front. They're not gelling and, as usual, Anelka wants a transfer, just to take the piss a little more.
As England boss, things are sucking balls as well. Drew 1-1 with Montenegro in a WCQ, but the friendly I arranged for later that week has restored morale. A 25-0 drubbing of Tajikistan. Including 5 by a guy I gave a random debut (I had my four first choice strikers out injured, so I picked based on form and hoped it came good.) who plays for Staines. He's gonna have something to tell his grandkids: "I played for England once. Scored five goals, too." The kids'll be like "piss off grandad, you never" and he'll show them the tape. That image alone makes it worth it. Fuck knows how badly we'd have done 'em if I'd had Owen, Rooney, Bent and Walcott available.