Favourite jokes/one-liners in TV/film?

[Liam]

While I very much appreciate that humour is contextual and a lot of the best probably require that context to understand, but I wanted to have a topic for your favourite jokes, one liners etc etc from television and film. That favourite doesn't always equal best is one of the better things about a topic like this, as different things tickle different people.

This was the reason behind the topic. I watched Scrubs again recently and I don't know why, but I love the 'silverware in the pancake drawer' line.

This little exchange goes through my head more often than it probably should.

A bit on the longer side than the others, this cold open is amazing and replicated many times by my wife and I.

So yeah, what are yours?

[Kaney]

It misses the build up over the whole episode obviously, but the "fucking hell" gets me the biggest laugh of the whole series, everytime.

[Draevyn]

The Earth Is Doomed/The Earth Is Definitely Doomed

 

[Bobfoc]

 

[Azazel]

Sometimes the best jokes don't even need to spoken.

 

 

[Liam]

I actually forgot that the one that sparked my desire for this thread wasn't one I put in the top post. It was actually this:

 

[Mx. Canadian Destroyer]

I came in to post what @Bobfoc posted.

 

It's mostly the "Oh thank you... oh, I lost it" bit from the second video. 

[GA!]

I could be obvious and pick something from The Simpsons. So here's Futurama instead:

 

[OctoberRaven]

Can't find it on YouTube, but from The Young Ones:

Captain: Aged, toothless, and bent old crone!
Crone: 'Ow'd yer know me name?
Captain: We wish to engage you as ship's cook and concubine.
Crone: Oh yeah? What's a concubine then?
Captain: It's a small, spiky-haired mammal.
Crone: No, that's a hedgehog.
Captain: Oh. Well in that case, we wish to engage you as ship's cook and hedgehog.

[Schlitzbrille]

 

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

I AM going to go Simpsons. I can't find a clip of it though.

 

Season 7, episode 23. The Simpsons are having a BBQ at their house. Homer stands up at the head of the garden table and states:

"If I could just say a few words....I'd be a better public speaker."

Bart starts laughing but everyone else doesn't respond at all.

That made me laugh so much the first time I watched it and I still find it very funny now.

[C-MIL]

 

[apsham]

I think this was one of the moments where I knew I was going to love Always Sunny forever and greatly appreciated Danny DeVito getting involved.

 

[Monkey D. Lars]

Some of Creed's talking heads on the office, always crack me up.

[Rich]

 

 

[Benji]

It's not necessarily the line itself, but what it immediately sets up:

 

[Bobfoc]

This is a good response to most things.

 

And this isn't a one-liner, but I think it's the best example of a repeated joke that remains funny for a good couple of minutes.

 

[Benjamin]

 

"WRITE SOME ORIGINAL SONGS!"

[Roster Depth Sicko No. 2]

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel" is one of my all time favourites, as much as I think Simpsons memes are over-rated.

I had a Futurama one in mind but I've now blanked on it, so when I remember it again I'll post it.

[Meacon Keaton]

"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."