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Around The Cinema In 128 Movies


million$$man

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With the coronavirus raging on, and ample free time on my hands due to working from home for a majority of the year, I undertook a challenge to watch 100 movies that I have never seen in the span of a year. As you can see from the title, I exceeded that by 28 movies. Since I am stats nerd, I decided to rank them. 

My criteria for what I enjoy, and what you enjoy is probably different. I am sure some will disagree with how I have the movies ranked, so hopefully this leads to some discussion. 

 

 

128 Movies:

 

128: Virtuosity (1-26-2021)

Image result for virtuosity 1995

Despite it's stars, I found this moving woefully boring. I remember when this moving came out, I really wanted to see it, but never got around to seeing it. The premise of hunting a serial killer through virtual reality is quite interesting, but this movie never quite grasped it. In an era of Total Recall, Fifth Element, and Demolition Man, this movie is clearly in the back of the pack. 

 

 

127. Stowaway (5-7-21)

 

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Anna Kendrick, Toni Collette, and Daniel Dae Kim are on a 2 year mission to Mars. Shortly after take off, an engineer is found sleeping in an electrical compartment. How he got there and why was he sleeping on the ship is never discussed or explored. Instead, the movie delves into the moral dilemma of having an extra source of CO2 and only enough oxygen for 3 people. The acting is decent, and what you'd expect. The visuals are stunning. The pacing and writing/directing are what really drags the movie down to horrific levels, in my opinion. 

 

 

126. Ma! (1-2-21)

 

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After seeing the previews of this movie, I really wanted to watch this, as I am a fan of Octavia Spencer and wanted to see her do something different. However, the writing in this movie is laughably bad. The writing turned what could've been a nice thriller into a "laugh it's so bad" type of movie. About the only thing I liked about the movie was Ma's motivation into seeking revenge. 

 

 

125. Bill And Ted Face The Music (8-8-21)

 

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I loved the original and the sequel, so I was really looking forward to seeing this. Unfortunately, this severely disappointed. There was no real growth for the characters, as both Bill and Ted still acted like they were seniors in high school, and maybe that was the point. To me, I didn't get the nostalgic feeling of some other reboots. Alex Winter's performance was a highlight once the duo started time travelling. This movie tried to serve the purpose of handing the franchise off to the daughters, but I just don't see another movie happening.

 

 

124. As Luck Would Have It (4-11-21)

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My girlfriend loves Allen Leech (Downton Abbey) so we had to watch this when it came out. JoAnna Garcia travels to Ireland to purchase land for an upscale resort, that she thinks will bring much need income to the town through tourists. However, the locals don't want tourists. She is at first at odds with local Leech, then falls in love with him. Typical rinse and repeat Hallmark movie. Nothing objectional, but nothing special either.

 

 

123. Spies Like Us (1-4-21)

 

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Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd are incompetent applicants for the CIA. They are chosen to be sent to Pakistan only because they are buffoons, and the CIA want them to be decoys and bring out the Russians. You'd think that with these two, there would be laughs all around. I barely chuckled. I have been told that I need to watch this again, because having it this low is criminal. I just didn't find it funny. I probably would have loved this if I watched it when I was 8, but not now.

 

122. Emma (1996 TV Movie) (2-4-21)

 

Image result for emma 1996 tv film

 

My girlfriend got this movie as a gift from her mother, because she is a huge Jane Austen fan. She loved this movie, me not so much. Kate Beckinsale, Samantha Morton, and Mark Strong had great performances. These type of movies just aren't my bag. 

 

 

121 Hudson Hawk - (9-22-21)

 

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Bruce Willis stars in a live action cartoon, is the best way I can describe this. Willis co-wrote this, and it serves as a Willis vehicle to highlight is song and dance routines and slapstick comedy, but for me, it just doesn't work. Richard E. Grant is great, but isn't he always?? Again, a movie, that if I saw when  was a kid, I would hold in higher regard, but as a 39 year old, I just couldn't get into it.

 

 

120. Ad Astra (1-2-21)

 

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Brad Pitt goes to Neptune to try to find his long lost father. Stunning visuals, but I found this boring. Nothing really happens, outside a scene with a monkey. 2 hours of watching Brad Pitt silently contemplating life. 

 

 

Whenever I Get The Time To Update This: 119-110

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When I was in high school I had a friend who, he and his older brothers held Hudson Hawk in high regard, a favorite movie, etc. from I guess seeing it as kids. The first time I saw it at their house I was like "wow, what the hell is this movie??" but I just kind of smiled and pretended to enjoy it because they seemed to really like it. 

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had to look up that Hallmark TV movie just because I have a compulsion to see just how awful US depictions of Ireland are.

It's funny to see a premise of "outsider goes up against the small town ways of the locals" and then see the locations are some of the richest parts of Dublin.

The "quiet coastal village" is in part played by Dalkey, Co. Dublin (main actor guy is from Killiney which isn't too far from there either). Dalkey is in South Dublin. The more upper class part of the county. Van Morrison, Bono and The Edge all live nearby. Matt Damon got stranded living in the area during the start of the pandemic too while filming The Last Duel. If you want to move there Van is selling his house. You can buy it for €9million.  

The castle is Howth Castle, which is being turned into a hotel IRL (stand still long enough in Dublin and you too will become a hotel).

Also lol that a matchmaking festival would take place at a large country estate. Basing all this from a website i found on google it's played by a Kilruddery House in Co. Wicklow - which is not a hotel but wedding venue/farm shop/outdoor attraction still owned by some of the few members of the aristocracy we've got left (a lot of them didn't really stick around after the early 20th century... for reasons). Matchmaking Festivals do exist but would more likey be focussed around a rural town and likely featuring all your favorite singers from the Irish specific sub genre of Country Music. Lisdoonvarna in Co. Clare is the home to the biggest one.

Looks like most of the actors are Irish at least. I'd wager a good lot of them also lived nearby given the locations. One of them was in Zardoz! I just like being reminded Zardoz exists. It was also filmed in Wicklow. I'm sure you could throw a net over a casting call for Irish actors over 60 and find a heap of guys from Zardoz. Hopefully not still wearing the costumes.

Well I've spent more time than I really should've thinking about this stupid Hallmark film that I will never watch, I guess.

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13 hours ago, K said:

I've only seen one of those, but I remember liking Stowaway, if left feeling underwhelmed. It was like a TV bottle episode expanded to fill a movie.

The thing with the movie for me was, constantly wondering how this guy was stowed away. I was eagerly waiting for the big reveal that never happened. 

 

If I knew this going in, I probably would have ranked it higher. 

12 hours ago, The Redeemer CLDY said:

When I was in high school I had a friend who, he and his older brothers held Hudson Hawk in high regard, a favorite movie, etc. from I guess seeing it as kids. The first time I saw it at their house I was like "wow, what the hell is this movie??" but I just kind of smiled and pretended to enjoy it because they seemed to really like it. 

When Bruce Willis and Danny Aiello start doing a song and dance routine while breaking into a museum, I was really confused. 

1 hour ago, Hobo said:

had to look up that Hallmark TV movie just because I have a compulsion to see just how awful US depictions of Ireland are.

It's funny to see a premise of "outsider goes up against the small town ways of the locals" and then see the locations are some of the richest parts of Dublin.

The "quiet coastal village" is in part played by Dalkey, Co. Dublin (main actor guy is from Killiney which isn't too far from there either). Dalkey is in South Dublin. The more upper class part of the county. Van Morrison, Bono and The Edge all live nearby. Matt Damon got stranded living in the area during the start of the pandemic too while filming The Last Duel. If you want to move there Van is selling his house. You can buy it for €9million.  

The castle is Howth Castle, which is being turned into a hotel IRL (stand still long enough in Dublin and you too will become a hotel).

Also lol that a matchmaking festival would take place at a large country estate. Basing all this from a website i found on google it's played by a Kilruddery House in Co. Wicklow - which is not a hotel but wedding venue/farm shop/outdoor attraction still owned by some of the few members of the aristocracy we've got left (a lot of them didn't really stick around after the early 20th century... for reasons). Matchmaking Festivals do exist but would more likey be focussed around a rural town and likely featuring all your favorite singers from the Irish specific sub genre of Country Music. Lisdoonvarna in Co. Clare is the home to the biggest one.

Looks like most of the actors are Irish at least. I'd wager a good lot of them also lived nearby given the locations. One of them was in Zardoz! I just like being reminded Zardoz exists. It was also filmed in Wicklow. I'm sure you could throw a net over a casting call for Irish actors over 60 and find a heap of guys from Zardoz. Hopefully not still wearing the costumes.

Well I've spent more time than I really should've thinking about this stupid Hallmark film that I will never watch, I guess.

Thanks for the back story. This movie has probably been written about and talked about more in this thread than since it has been released. Lol.

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119. The Empty Man (03-16-21)

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This movie tried to do too much, and if it would've picked what it wanted it would've been so much better. At different points, its a sci-fi thriller, missing person's movie, a movie about a cult, and then a movie about possession. The first 15 minutes had me hooked, but then it quickly unravels. James Badge Dale does a decent job as the leading man, and there is one specific shot that is exemplary cinematography, but the constant shift in tones really bogs this down.

 

118. A Glitch In The Matrix (11-03-21)

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The first documentary on my list. We are all simulations. The best thing about the documentary is it shows Philip K. Dick's press conference. They used actual avatars for the people speaking, so they could be actual scientists or your local ice cream man. The end was a guy telling the story about how he was so inspired by the movie The Matrix that he decided to kill his mother and father. Fun times.

 

117. Buddy Games (3-26-21)

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Josh Duhamel wrote, directed, and starred in this sub-par gross out movie. In the vein of The Hangover or Wedding Crashers but without the wit or charm. Oddly, it was produced by WWE Studios, so now I know why Duhamel was featured on a few Raw's.  The only reason this isn't further down the list is it has Dax Sheppard in it.

 

 

116. Wonder Woman 1984 (1-1-21)

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The first movie I saw to kick off my goal. I do have to admit, I watched this before watching the first Wonder Woman. I dunno, I just didn't like this that much. I love Pedro Pascal and Kristen Wiig, but their performances were over the top campy. Maybe that's what Patty Jenkins was going for?? Over the top indulge of the 80s??

 

 

115. Those Who Wish Me Dead (5-17-21)

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I love Yellowstone, so I was looking forward to this, but just didn't enjoy it. Angelina Jolie just doesn't convey a smokejumper to me. Add to the fact that two hitmen are hunting down a boy. Why?? I dunno. What does he know?? Beats me.  Who hired the hitmen?? Couldn't tell ya. It was never explained. 

 

 

114. Tom And Jerry (3-25-21)

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At 114, we actually start to get into some movies that I actually like, it's just that compared to the movies ahead of them, I had to make some hard choices. Chloe Grace Moretz stars as a down on her luck woman who weasels her way into a gig at a swanky hotel to plan a fancy wedding. Jerry sneaks into the hotel, because he needs a place to stay. Tom is hired to capture Jerry. Hijinx ensues, I chuckled a few times, and the finale was pretty entertaining. If you have kids, they will probably enjoy it.

 

 

113. Bullett Head (3-02-21)

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John Malkovich, Adrien Brody, and Rory Culkin are three criminals on the run from the law. They take refuge in an abandoned warehouse and are hunted by a pitbull that has been trained as a prized dog fighter. The performances by the leads make this movie, but this is something I never intend to watch again.

 

 

112. The Mandella Effect (10-31-21)

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A grieving father slowly starts to go insane going down the rabbit hole that is The Mandella Effect, in an attempt to bring his daughter back to life. I love the subject matter, but this movie fell short of what it could be. The Butterfly Effect and even The Number 23 are far superior films. The movie does have Robin Lord Taylor, so it does have that going for it.

 

 

111. Paul Blart Mall Cop (1-08-21)

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Yeah, there are movies that are ranked below this that probably shouldn't be. I enjoyed this, for what it is. Sue me. Honestly, the reason this is ranked as high as it is, is because if this was on TBS and I couldn't find anything else to watch, I would probably turn it on for a few minutes.

 

 

110. Detective Pikachu (1-03-21)

Image result for detective pikachu

I couldn't tell you the difference between a Squirtle or a Charizard, so this wasn't made for me. But, I did like it. If my daughter wanted to watch this on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I would sit there and watch it with her, and I would be absolutely content. 

 

 

 

Next Time: We round out the 100's with a shocking admission from a former manager at Blockbuster.

 

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It's a running joke in my house that Paul Blart Mall Cop doesn't exist, they just made Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 in the hope that people would go "ooh, a sequel, the first one must have been good". Therefore this list is now invalid.

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My friends would ask me how I picked the movies I watched throughout the year. Was I getting them from some specific list? Nope. I just randomly picked any movie or documentary that I had never watched. It was that simple. I thought picking the movies would be a tad harder, as I was a manager at Blockbuster for 3 years, and one of the perks of working there was that we would get 5 free rentals a week. Blockbuster was serious about you using your 5 free rentals, too. I was asked by my District Manager to start writing employees up who weren't using them. As I look over my list, I am surprised by how many movies I should have already watched, being all the free rentals I was getting. Equally surprising was, as an 80's kid, some of the movies that I should have already seen. Which brings us to.....

 

109: Raiders Of The Lost Ark (02-03-21)

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Sacrilege to some, but I found this really boring. All the hype I've heard about the series, all the odd looks I would get when I said I never watched this, and it was a complete let down. Compared to Temple and Crusade, both of which are in the top 30 of this list, Raiders seemed like a throwaway entry into the series and not it's debut entry. It took me three attempts to make it through this. 

 

 

108: The Little Things (01-30-21)

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This movie has been divisive to most. Either you love it, or you hate it. Count me in the latter. It's not that I necessarily hate it, I just didn't seem realistic to me. I liked Leto's performance, but to me, everything about this movie screamed knock off version of Seven. 

 

 

107: Godzilla - 2014 (03-28-2021)

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Despite this being this far down on the list, I did enjoy it, it's just compared to the movies that followed this series, I found it to be at the back of the pack. However, it's 100x better than the trash that was the Matthew Broderick film. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is great in this. 

 

 

106: Tolkien (03-31-2021)

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Nicolas Hoult stars in this biopic of JRR Tolkien. Really slow moving, that some would be bored to tears. Hoult's performance was great, but the movie seems longer than the actual run time. Still worthy of seeing, especially if you are a fan of the books. For me, one viewing is enough, and I will never go out of my way of seeing again.

 

 

105: Draft Day (09-25-2021)

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A light and at times charming movie. But completely absurd. Kevin Costner stars as the GM of the Cleveland Browns, who hold the 7th pick in the draft. To recap the absurdity:

Seattle (1st Pick) - Trades the 1st Pick to Cleveland for the 7th pick and Cleveland's 1st round picks the next two years. Cleveland's owner demands that Costner draft the consensus top QB. Costner selects a LB (Chadwick Boseman)

Cleveland's owner threatens to fire Costner and Cleveland's coach (Dennis Leary) threatens to quit.

Cleveland then trades their 2nd round pick and 2 future 2nd round picks to Jacksonville for their 6th pick (One ahead of Seattle)

Seattle, who originally wanted the top QB trades BACK Cleveland's first round picks, so that they can select the QB. 

 

104: Cowboys And Aliens (02-13-2021)

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Perhaps a tad too low on my list, but having to compare it to the movies that come before it, it seems at about the right spot. Some minor flaws, but nothing too objectionable Good cast. Decent premise. But, that's where this sits for me. Good not great.

 

 

103: A Night At The Museum (1-19-21)

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I quite enjoyed this movie, and thought it was better than I expected. Ben Stiller is really good at playing a Ben Stiller-like character. Pretty absurd premise, but it's a kids movie. Adult would also enjoy it for what it is. I would watch it again if I couldn't find anything else on and needed something to watch while I cleaned my house.

 

 

102: Kodachrome (2-11-2021)

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Touching movie about a son (Jason Sudeikis) going on a road trip with his estranged father (Ed Harris) and his father's assistant/nurse (Elizabeth Olsen). Ed Harris plays a terminally ill photographer, who wants Sudeikis to drive him across the country to the only place left that develops Kodachrome film. Good movie, but not high on re-watchability.

 

 

101: You Can't Kill David Arquette (01-02-2021)

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I am sure we all know the story about Arquette and WCW. This is a documentary about his redemption tour back into wrestling. Decent enough documentary, and I can't say a bad word about Arquette since he gave all his earning from WCW to deceased wrestler's family, but this documentary rings slightly hollow and more work than shoot in a lot of scenes. Still worth a watch if you haven't watched it yet.

 

 

100: Justice League

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Not the Snyder Cut, that will be further up this list. The problem I have with this movie, and it's something the DCEU seems to do a lot, is they try to get to the MCU's level without the time to truly develop their characters. Flash and Cyborg just sort of show up and are  in the Justice League with no real explanation or back story. They should've at least had them as supporting players in one of the previous stand alone movies. The only thing I think this does better than The Snyder Cut is the opening sequence. 

 

 

 

 

Next Time: 

I get into double digits. Another DC movie. Another Ben Affleck flick. Another wrestling documentary.

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  • 1 month later...

 

99. Four Good Days (10-02-2021)

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This one had all the potential to be a really good movie about the struggles of addiction, but as someone who has battled addiction, alot of this movie is ludicrously off the mark. Mila Kunis and Glen Close are great, don't get me wrong. 

So, Mila Kunis is battling heroin addiction, and there is the wonder pill that will cure her desire to use. However, she has to stay clean for four days. 

In those four days, while she is detoxing mind you, she gets new teeth, rekindles her relationship with her mom, saves a fellow junkie, and gives a moving speech at a middle school about the dangers of addiction. 

When I was detoxing, I didn't have the energy to even get up to use the bathroom and would vomit and piss myself.

 

98. 30 Minutes Or Less ( 01-11-2021)

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Typical fare you would expect from the cast. Nothing objectionable movie wise, but it felt like I've seen this movie before, even though I haven't. McBride and Swardson kidnap Rosenberg, strap a bomb to him, and force him to rob a bank. Some good laughs, but nothing that really stands out.

 

 

97. The King Of Staten Island (01-16-2021)

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Pete Davidson's semi autobiographical story of a slacker who is trying to find his way in the world, while still grieving over his father's death in 9-11. 

Have to give him credit. This movie isn't bad, just not as good as it could have been. Bill Burr is great as a fire fighter who begins to date Pete's mother.

 

 

96. Suicide Squad (03-29-2021)

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All I am going to say on why this is in the 90's and not higher is because of the far superior The Suicide Squad. Nice action sequences and some laughs that you would expect to find in a comic book movie. Jared Leto's take on The Joker was a miss for me.

 

 

95. A Nail In The Coffin: The Fall And Rise Of Vampiro (01-25-2021)

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This is a fantastic documentary that every wrestling fan should watch. It's almost like a real life version of The Wrestler, complete with a father-daughter storyline. It's a shame it is this low down, but it is. I would recommend this if you haven't watched it yet.

 

 

94. Charlie Wilson's War (01-26-2021)

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True story about a Congressman who brokers a deal to provide arms to the people of Afghanistan so that they can fight off the invading Russian forces.

Fantastic performances from everyone involved, but for me, this movie really dragged and could have taken 15-20 minutes off it's run time. 

We all know how this will eventually end, and it does a good job of explaining why we helped and the far reaching consequences.

 

 

93. Us (02-01-2021)

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I really wanted like this. But after the hype of the trailer, nothing could have lived up to it. Nothing terrible, but I felt dissatisfied after watching.

 

 

92. Live By Night (04-16-2021)

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Bootleggers, prohibition, and corruption abound in this movie set in Ybor City (about a 5 minute drive from where I live). The movie is based on the book by Dennis Lehane, which is a great read, by the way.

This dragged, especially when you know there are better movies out there based on this time period.

 

 

91. Our Idiot Brother (06-10-2021)

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Paul Rudd plays a dimwitted stoner with a heart of gold, who goes to jail for selling a cop some weed. When he gets out of jail he has nowhere to go, so he takes turns living with each of his 3 sisters until he wears out his welcome. It felt like 3 separate vignettes instead of one cohesive movie.

 

90. Barb And Star Go To Vista Del Mar (10-01-2021)

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This movie is destined to either be a cult classic or the worst movie ever made, depending on how you look at it. 

The first 30 Minutes felt like a really bad SNL skit. I almost turned it off, it was so bad. But after the 30 minute mark I began to see the charm, and went along for the ride, and ended up enjoying it. 

Oh, and I love Kristen Wiig.

 

 

Next time: The 80's. Another movie about addiction. Another DC Superhero. A current movie that is up for Movie Of The Year (I think), and James Dean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by million$$man
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On 18/03/2022 at 19:12, million$$man said:

 

98. 30 Minutes Or Less ( 01-11-2021)

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQYdr1TsTY1Q4fFOaJIqzJ

Typical fare you would expect from the cast. Nothing objectionable movie wise, but it felt like I've seen this movie before, even though I haven't. McBride and Swardson kidnap Rosenberg, strap a bomb to him, and force him to rob a bank. Some good laughs, but nothing that really stands out.

 

i'm sure you know, but this is based on a true story, so maybe you watched the Netflix True Crime documentary about it? Evil Genius: The True Story of America's Most Diabolical Bank Heist

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