Blast from the Past

[oldskool]

"Step right up, HURRY HURRY HURRY to the world's first and ooooooonly tiiiiiiime machiiiiiiiine!"

That was the sound catching my ear as I wandered through the carnival grounds with my 10 closest associates.

Some of these ten men had already made me millions...some as my employees, some as my competitors hoping to patch things up and join me.

Some of them hadn't made me a dime...but they had potential, and that's something you can't just get. Either you have it or you don't.

"Leap at least TWENTY YEARS into the future! See the wonders! The amaaaaaazement! The technological advances! Who will win this Cold War? Who will be this year's gold medalists at the Olympics? Hop in and find out!"

OK, I'm a millionaire. I have a few men who helped make me that way. I have a few more that will make me even more if I play my cards right.

What could happen in twenty years?

Sure, son, we'll try it out.

And with that, me and my 10 associates in business climbed in.

As expected, Robert was the first to head in, followed by Bob, Terry, Curt, Randy, Jake, Rick and Ricky, Andre and finally myself.

Hold on guys, I don't know if she can hold y'all...

What sounded like a car engine starting up was the next sound effect, followed by a sputter or two...and finally a big bang that sounded like a shotgun.

OOOOOO, you are in the fuuuuuuuuuutuuuuuuuuu...whatthehell?

ZAP!

*****

Surprisingly, no dust settled, no cloud of smoke erupted, just a jolting CRASH down on the pavement.

Robert was the first of us to speak.

What the FUCK just happened?

The rest nodded in agreement.

Nobody really knew what had happened, so we stepped out of the machine and took a look around. It looks so familiar and yet so different...

Hey Guys! We're back!

A resounding "YEAH!" came from my associates as each of them wandered around.

Finally Andre found the elevator and all eleven of us hopped in.

Hmmm...if it IS twenty years later...then this elevator shouldn't hold all this weight!

Fortunately the ride went off without us plummeting to our doom as we headed back to the office.

As we walked through the hall, we checked out the pictures that were hung.

Strange....there's one of Curt...and one of you, Andre....hey Rob, yours is over here, right next to mine! What an honor!

We wandered around and looked at them and laughed about how big we'd made it...

Until we saw the dates underneath the pictures.

Terry spoke up.

Whatcha think this means, brother?

I think it means we're twenty years in the future, and four of us are dead.

We were on that ride for what seemed like forever...maybe they were just setting all this up. Yeah...that's gotta be it.

So with that we just shrugged these fake pictures off and continued towards the office.

Upon our entry to the office, we saw Vince sitting in his chair, rocking back and forth, deep in thought.

Hey Vinny, what's going on?

...What did you just call me???

Oh, come on Vinny, time to stop playing big-shot and let's get back to business, I brought the guys here with me too.

With that, Vince quickly spun around in his chair.

How DARE you talk to me like that! I'm Vince M......

The look on his face went from fury to pure shock, like he'd seen a ghost.

He looked at Andre, at Robert...at Curt...and then finally at me.

Dad???

[Guest ryan_the_canuck]

Um...very interesting backstory...I want to see where it goes before I say any more.

[oldskool]

Dad???

He repeated himself in a barely audible whisper.

It can't be you...you're dead, you've BEEN dead for over twenty years now...

What a welcome back, eh Vince?

That Robert, always the jokester.

Where's my boy? Where's Joey?

Umm...Gor...I mean...Robert...Joey's dead. He's been dead for about 10 years...

Robert looked at him stunned.

You're kidding.

No, Robert, I'm not. I'm also not kidding when I say my father's been dead for twenty years, YOU'VE been dead for a while now, Andre's been gone about 11 years now, and Curt....Curt...you're dead too.

I certainly don't feel dead, I don't LOOK dead...

HEY! HEEEEEEEY! Wait up guys!

Great. Lawler. He must have gotten on the time machine too. I thought there was only one?

Oh MAN guys that was one hell of a ride. Glad I found you all...

Wait, Jerry, thank God, nobody's going to belie....

Before him stood Jerry Lawler, circa 1984. Not what he was expecting, I'd imagine.

Jerry, you look...different. Younger?

Well thanks kid, but I'm not that much younger than you!

After another quick glance at everyone, living and "dead", and my boy passed out.

Wuss.

*****

While we waited for my son to regain consciousness, we took ourselves on a tour of the new facilities.

I like the new logo...but where's the F? And the other W?

And why are there so many pictures of Terry?

Finally I found someone that knows what's going on, a nice young lady named Sophie.

She showed me how to work this "computer" and after opening a few "programs" I found what I was looking for.

Hm. Apparently my boy is right. According to this "internet", Robert (AKA Gorilla Monsoon), Curt ("Mr. Perfect"), Andre (the Giant) and myself all have died, as well as Rob's son Joey.

Apparently Bobby has throat cancer, but it's in remission...I'm not sure how that's going now that there are two of them.

Jake's gotten himself in a lot of trouble thanks to drugs...hopefully this "second chance" of sorts will help him out.

Ric's still wrestling. Wow.

Ricky retired a while ago, though.

Jerry's been doing commentary for the "WWE", whatever that is, for some time now.

Randy's more of an unknown, not much said about him these days.

Terry however is a different story.

Apparently my boy pushed him to the moon and he's been the man for the entire 20 year period we skipped.

This "Hulkamania" craze as he calls it really must have taken off because Terry never was much in the ring.

*****

Oh man has this day been nuts or what?

I get on a time machine, REALLY end up 20 years in the future, find out me and three of my partners have died (but not anymore, because we're back), one of the least talented of my partners is also the most popular.......and worst of all, to find out that my son, my OWN SON, my ONLY SON ran MY company into the ground.

I think it's time for some paperwork.

*****

Well, thanks mainly to Sophie who helped locate the necessary paperwork, things are looking up. I even got to watch an episode of "RAW" which is Vinny's creation that's about 11 years old now. Not a bad show, I guess, but I could do thousands of times better with my eyes closed.

And that's why I needed the paperwork.

Thanks to some clever contract work, the associates (and Lawler) are all under MY company's control.

That's right. MY COMPANY.

You see when Vince removed the wide and made it WWF, he left all the copyrights open. Who would buy it? And even if they tried he'd be able to outbid them for it.

But of course, he's not going to bid against his own father, now, is he?

His sports entertainment garbage is worthless.

It's time to show my boy ONE MORE TIME how it's done.

Just like Curt Hennig.

Just like Andre Rousimoff.

Just like Robert Marella.

Just like Vince McMahon Sr.

The WWWF....Professional Wrestling....is back.

[oldskool]

The current roster

Andre The Giant

Still 7'4". Still 520 pounds. What more needs to be said?

He's no technical wizard, no high-flying acrobat, and no whiz on the mic, but in that ring he's a MACHINE. His skills aren't top-notch but if you don't sell for Andre, you might get stiffed. And 520 pounds being stiff is STIFF.

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

One of the greatest managers of his time (and many believe he's one of the greatest of ALL TIME), Heenan can still go in the ring, albeit nothing like his glory wrestling days of yore. A master on the mic, he'll be our color commentator, taking time off only to manage any proteges he sees fit to enlighten.

Curt Hennig

"Mr. Perfect" during his WWF days, Curt Hennig everywhere else. Obviously one of the Hennig clan, son of Larry. Extremely solid all-around in the ring. His mic work isn't top-notch but his ability to portray a character flawlessly more than balances it out.

Hulk Hogan

What can I say about Hulk? Even I've started calling him that since he became such a star over the past twenty years. Hulkamania is RUNNIN WILD brother. His ring skills could seriously use work, but he is untouchable when it comes to promos.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts

One of the greatest enigmas in professional wrestling. Mastered the DDT, and so far is the only one to successfully use it as a finishing maneuver since.

Jerry "The King" Lawler

Don't really know much about him, since he worked for my son and not me.

Seems like a nice guy, has his women problems though. In the ring he's quite solid, I've heard, as well as his mic skills.

Randy Savage

Whether he's the Macho King or the Macho Man, he's one of the best. Mastered the Savage Flying Elbow (most closely mimicked by current-day Shawn Michaels, I'm told). Doesn't like Hogan very much...but has warping twenty years into the future changed things?

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair

Do I need to say anything here? Flair is one of the true greats, and he's in his prime.

Not to mention, upon a quick quizzing of wrestling fans I found, he had a quite memorable feud with...

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

Another technical master. His brawling skill isn't high-caliber but he's a technical mastermind with high-flying ability. Mic skills aren't great but with his in-ring talent he should be fine.

Our Staff

Robert Marella AKA Gorilla Monsoon

Definitely going to be our announcer for any and all shows we do. Great talent in the ring back in his day, and now he's equally as talented at the announcing table.

Rumors around the "internet" circulate that he was part of two of the greatest announce teams of all time (alongside Heenan and Jesse "The Body" Ventura).

[oldskool]

November 28, 2004

Well, it's almost time for the big one. Time to see if the real Vinny Mac can still go, as the boys say.

The roster moves have been made. The staff have been signed.

It's time for our first "pay per view", which my boy created. Guess he's not a total screw up.

It's time for...

WWWF Payback

I quickly gather up some notebook paper and a couple of pens and sit down in the folding chair next to me. It's going to be a long night.

*****

The video plays on the screen.

A car, burnt orange in color, not looking too expensive, is shown driving around city streets from the rear.

A familiar voice begins to speak.

It's been a long time since I stepped between those ropes.

A lot of guys don't think I still got what it takes.

The car suddenly spins 180 degrees, now facing the camera.

We clearly hear the engine rev a few times before a burnout.

I'm gonna prove 'em all wrong.

I'm gonna show 'em all that I still got it.

The car suddenly lurches forward and accelerates quickly.

I'm gonna show 'em that the saying still stands.

Beat me, if you can...

The car splatters through a scarecrow made of fruit, with added emphasis on the watermelon getting obliterated by the front bumper.

As the chunks of watermelon fall away, we see the license plate, which reads TAP OUT.

The camera scrolls up and now we can see the driver (as if it wasn't obvious by now)

Survive, if I let you!

Fade to black, with the orange Taz 13 logo up on the screen, followed by the words:

Taz....is coming.

*****

Cut to ringside, with Monsoon and Heenan on commentary.

They welcome us to WWWF Payback, live here at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Ontario, Canada!

They inform us that we have some world-class wrestling ahead:

That's right Gorilla, and let me tell you how GREAT it is to be here on pay per view one more time with my good friend Gorilla Monsoon. Over the years we had a lot of insults and a lot of arguments, but deep down, we both know how much respect we have for each other. With that out of the way, let me inform our viewers that Monsoon still doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.

Will you stop! We've been on the air two minutes and you're already hurling insults!

OK, OK, get on with the show, Gorilla, that's what the people paid to see! First up we've got Dan Severn against Frankie Shamrock and personally, Monsoon, I don't think Frankie's got a chance.

How can you say that Brain? Frank Shamrock is an excellent competitor.

Because I've got twenty bucks on Severn, that's how.

*****

Dan Severn v. Frank Shamrock

Hm. Not bad for our opening match, but we'll need some excitement later on if we want people to buy next month's show.

The chain wrestling was solid (if a little stiff). Good in-ring psychology, although that may just be the fact that they're so incredibly stiff in there. Severn tried to finish him off with a Beast Choker, but that was reversed into an Ankle Lock.

As Severn scrambled for a rope, Heenan distracted Frank Shamrock, causing him to lose his focus. Lack of focus will kill you in that ring, and Severn showed why as he reversed the ankle lock into a legbar and forced the submission.

Winner: Dan Severn

After the match, Dan came over and shook Bobby's hand, solidifying the pact. All according to plan.

*****

Psychosis v. Scoot Andrews

As he made his way out to the ring, Andrews announced that it was SCOTT, and not Scoot. His Angry Young Man gimmick looks like it'll work out well.

In the ring, a surprisingly high-paced technical match came out. I was expecting more of a high-flying product from these two, but their technical skills are good enough to make this match watchable.

Andrews played up his new gimmick beautifully, yelling at the referee, the fans, anything to cost him the match.

In the end, however, it was Andrews getting a win after a roll up (with a handful of tights, no less).

Winner: Scott Andrews

Solid second match. Things are going well so far.

*****

Our third bout features a PERFECT referee. It's the first wrestler debut of someone "back from the dead":

American Dragon v. Christopher Daniels with special guest referee, "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig

Hennig admonishes both men to "Do your best, but remember, I'm the only Perfect one here." before laughing and signaling for the bell.

Another sound technical matchup. I'd prefer a bit more speed-work out of Daniels, but this American Dragon kid is going move-for-move with him on the technical base so I'll let it slide.

Ending came after Dragon cinches in his finishing submission, named the "Cattle Mutilation" I'm told...I need some better informants, this is garbage. Mistake, though, as Daniels screams in agony, Dragon takes the chance to yell out "PERFECT!"

This obviously infuriates referee Curt Hennig to the point of breaking up the submission and leveling American Dragon with a lariat.

Daniels gets up and hits the Angel's Wings for the academic (and fast) three-count.

Winner: Christopher Daniels

After the match, Hennig shows Daniels the Perfect Plex on Dragon.

Could we have ourselves a budding friendship here? Perhaps they could form a tag team, or even a stable...hmm...

*****

Cut backstage, it's our roving reporter for the night, Joey Styles!

He's back there with one half of our main event tag team.

Hulk, Jake, what are your thoughts heading in to the big tag match tonight?

Jake looks ready to speak, but doesn't pull the trigger in time.

Well ya know somethin Joey Styles? First of all let me just say it is an honor to be here tonight, brother, especially with my partner in crime, Jake The Snake Roberts, in my corner!

Jake doesn't look too happy at that statement...

Now, as far as Jerry Lawler and the Macho Man, Randy Savage, goes...as far as Hulk Hogan is concerned they are just the first step towards Hulk Hogan's run for the World Title!

So, Jerry "Burger King" Lawler, Whatchagonna do? Whatchagonna do Randy Savage? Whatchagonna do, when the twenty-four inch pythons of Hulk Hogan and Jake Roberts RUN WILD ON YOUUUUUUUU??

With that, Hogan heads off, and Roberts just stares a hole in his back before following shortly after.

*****

Back to ringside and it's Mordecai in the ring, with a microphone.

Missed part of the interview (Sophie finally came back with my coffee), but since I told him what to say, I'll just write that down.

Basically he was to claim that he was the biggest and baddest man in the WWWF and he wasn't going to take nothing from nobody.

OK, looks like I'm up to date.

Now, heading out to ringside is, who else, the Manager of Champions himself, complete with whistle, Bill Alfonso.

Hey Mourdeckeye! I got a supriiiiiise for ya! You think you're so bad? Let's see just how bad you are.

You see when I heard that the WWWF was back, I came runnin, baby! And because I came runnin, I got me first dibs. And who else would I pick but the biggest and baddest of them all?

So, without further ado, I bring to you, the seven foot tall, five hundred and twenty pound GOLIATH~!

That is

ANDRE

THE

GIANT!

With that, the lumbering giant strolls down to the ring at a leisurely pace, while Mordecai panics in the ring, pacing back and forth...basically wearing himself out.

*****

Andre The Giant v. Mordecai

SQUASH!

Mordecai attacks Andre as he steps through the ropes with forearms to the face...but Andre locks in the Iron Claw (and picks him up while he's in it, no less) and Mordecai immediately taps out.

Winner: Andre The Giant

Fonzie informs us that Andre's going to be the next WWWF Champion, and that nobody's going to stop him.

*****

Well the night is almost finished from a PPV standpoint, as our main event is just about to start.

Hulk Hogan and Jake Roberts v. Jerry Lawler and Randy Savage

These four guys current-day would be terrible, since they'd all be around 50. But since they're all about 30, this match is a classic from a mark's standpoint.

Crowd reacted like crazy for all four men, especially Hogan.

Match-wise it was pretty boring until Hogan began to "Hulk Up" as it's known.

Hogan hulked up through Lawler punches (widely regarded as being some of the best in the business) and then Roberts blind-tags himself in?

Hogan looks confused and so does the crowd until "KICK SLAP DDT" as I think a certain "Scott Keith" would put it...hmm, not bad.

But he's Hulk Hogan so that won't keep him down, Roberts tells Lawler to piledrive him and he does!

Roberts and Lawler hold Hogan down in the middle of the ring so Savage can hit the Savage Elbow and that will get the three count as Lawler covers.

Winners: Jerry Lawler and Randy Savage

Roberts spits on Hogan and leaves the ring as we fade out to the end of our show.

*****

Sophie tells me that the overnight rates were a 0.52, which is spectacular for a debut show...

7110 people attended, not a sell-out but we only would have allowed 7500 in anyways (any more and the rent for the night would have been higher).

[rvdjrv2002]

I'm absolutly loving this. This is a serious blast from the past. I'm absolutly awestruken by your ability to tie the characters to todays wrestling empire. Stick it to the kid Vinny Mac. I will definitly be reading. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Edited October 6, 2004 by rvdjrv2002

[DMN in the House]

Changing Scoot Andrew's name, and especially to something as bland as 'Scott' = ugh.

Other then that, not giving a reason to the fans why all these guys are back from the dead, or younger, is bullshit. You can't just throw them on TV, no one would ever buy it without an explanation.

Edited October 6, 2004 by sycodmn

[kaplanir]

I'm not sure about this one. On the one hand, the concept is nice, blending past superstars with today's wrestling but on the other, this is probably the least rational diary I've ever read. I can let the time maching thing slip, but imagine turning the TV tomorrow and see a dead announcer with an old commentator, rehabbing from throat cancer announcing a show which contains none of the current superstars and young versions of old superstars, including a couple of dead wrestlers. Would you watch that show like nothing is strange about it?

[oldskool]

Changing Scoot Andrew's name, and especially to something as bland as 'Scott' = ugh.

Other then that, not giving a reason to the fans why all these guys are back from the dead, or younger, is bullshit. You can't just throw them on TV, no one would ever buy it without an explanation.

←

[oldskool]

November 28, 2004

11:15 PM

Damnit, where is that tape?

Found it, Mr. MacMahon!

Thanks, Gerry, you're alright.

VKM heads to the VCR and pops in the tape. The label's inscription:

July 7, 1996

He fast forwards an hour or two before playing the tape's contents.

*****

Mean Gene Okerlund: Roddy Piper.....what the hell are you thinking?

Piper: Weeeeeeeell ya know somethin Gene Okerlund? Ol' Roddy's been doin some thinking, ya see, and Roddy Piper is looking out for Roddy Piper.

I've realized that the Dubya See Dubya authority is tryin to keep me back; Gene, they're trying to RESTRAIIIN Roddy Piper! They're trying to.....controooooool Roddy Piper! Well here's a message your bald head can carry back to the "authority" here at Dubya See Dubya: NOBODY RESTRAINS RODDY PIPER! NOBODY CONTROLS RODDY PIPER! I waaaaaarned 'em Gene, I warned them authorities that if they kept turnin their backs on Roddy Piper one day it'd come back to kick 'em in the ass!

*****

He's gone...he's all gone. Gerry, did you see? Did you see?

Yes Mister MacMahon I saw there wasn't not no Hogan in that there tape.

Gerry, give me that tape! That one over there, hurry up!

In goes the tape; this one's labeled

WrestleMania III

*****

VKM: It's the unstoppable force versus the immovable object.

Ventura: You got that right Vinny, NOBODY moves the Giant, NOBODY beats Bundy EVER Vince. EVER.

VKM: We'll just have to see about that, Jesse.

The cameras zoom in a bit more to the face-off that went down in wrestling history that night; King Kong Bundy on the right...and on his left, The Ultimate Warrior.

VKM: Captain Lou's Ultimate Warrior against Brother Love's King Kong Bundy...

*****

DAMN IT! THEY'RE GONE! EVERY REFERENCE TO THOSE GUYS IS GONE! My library of tapes, edited in an instant, the entire face of professional wrestling history has been changed in a moment...I'm places I wasn't, doing things I never did.......

VKM breaks down on the floor, rambling to himself.

History...changed...good guys bad, wheeeeeee...bad guys, good? Main-eventers job? Jobbers main-event?

Golly...I better go get Linda.

*****

Edited October 12, 2004 by oldskool

[oldskool]

December 19, 2004

Time for WWWF Exile.

Let's see if the shock value of last month's show carries over.

*****

Psychosis v. Scott Andrews

Opening match, rematch from last month. That's probably going to be a recurring theme around here, at least until we get a TV show in the works...then we can have more variety.

High-flying action throughout the dark match, but Andrews kept trying to go to his technical basis and Psychosis kept using his speed and experience to help him escape.

Finally after Psychosis escaped yet another technical move, Andrews screamed "THAT DOES IT" and he left.

Countout victory for Psychosis, who was left as dumbfounded as the rest of us.

Winner: Psychosis

Andrews disappears behind the curtain and Psychosis follows after him after the bell.

*****

But he doesn't even make it to the curtain before Mordecai's music hits and he heads down to the ring.

Mordecai: He.....HEEEEEEE who has already reached salvation! He who has passed Judgment! HEEEEE returns! He returns to this world...no. NOOOOOO! He can not....he shall not....he WILL not remain part of this world!

And with that Mordecai beckons backstage for his opponent.

Mordecai v. Andre The Giant (w/ Bill Alfonso)

Andre actually makes it all the way INTO the ring this month before his first offensive attack.

Mordecai with fists of fury, but Andre stops that with a headbutt, followed by a NASTY powerslam and that gets three.

Winner: Andre The Giant

Fonzie blows his whistle......until Andre grabs it and stomps on it, silencing him rather well.

*****

Backstage to our interviewer, Joey Styles, once again with Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan, after that SAVAGE 3-on-1 attack last month, what do you have to say to the partner that turned his back on you, Jake Roberts?

WELL YA KNOW SOMETHIN JOEY STYLES??? Hulk Hogan never needed a partner anyway, so as far as I'm concerned, Jake Roberts is just a wannabe! He's just one more guy looking to cash in on the Hulkster's popularity.

Interesting thoughts, Hulkster. But what about tonight, where, one on one, you get Jake Roberts in the ring?

I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times brother, Hulkamania's going to live forever, whether Jake Roberts likes it or not. You wanna call yourself "The Snake", Jake Roberts? Well SNAKE, WHATCHAGONNA DO??? Whatchagonnado when these 24 inch PYTHONS RUN WIIIIIIILD OOOOOON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU?

*****

American Dragon v. Christopher Daniels

Another solid match for our report. They listened to my suggestion and went a bit more high-flying this time around, but still kept that technical base to make sure things stayed organized.

Dragon was in control throughout (except for a few Daniels surges) until Hennig came down for the distraction, leading to a rollup and a victory.

Winner: Christopher Daniels

Daniels and Hennig double-team the Dragon, stomping him out of the ring.

Hennig announces that he and Daniels have formed an alliance and that they will not rest until they've taken over the WWWF.

*****

Joey Styles backstage, this time with Jerry Lawler.

King, you've asked for this interview time, so take it away.

Damn right I'll take it away, away from your boring self, that's for sure.

Now lately people keep asking the King stupid questions. The ones I seem to get the most is "W-w-w-w-when's Taz coming?" "Is Taz here yet?" "Hey King have you seen Taz?"

Well let me tell you inbreds something, Jerry Lawler doesn't care about Taz! Taz drives a car through a watermelon and it's a big deal, I pin Hulk Hogan 1-2-3 in the middle of that ring last month and nobody cares!

Taz I know you're listening wherever you are so I'm going to make this clear. Nobody likes you, Taz, nobody cares what you do, nobody cares when you de...

The camera zooms out to show Taz choking Lawler out, as he turns red, and then blue, and Taz lets go.

Taz looks right in Lawler's face and says "SURVIVE IF I LET YOU, LAWLER!" before laughing and walking away, leaving the King down and gasping for air.

*****

Frank Shamrock v. Dan Severn (w/ Bobby Heenan)

Yet another technical masterpiece from these two. I requested a bit more brawling but it didn't show up much during the match. Guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks, I suppose.

Severn had control throughout the match, but when he lost it midway through Heenan signaled to the back and out came Randy Savage from the back, taking his time to strut out, to a chorus of boos.

Upon his arrival to ringside, Shamrock and Severn were both down after a collision in-ring. Heenan hopped up on the apron and started yelling at the referee, while Savage climbed to the top rope and hit the Savage Elbow Drop...on SEVERN!

The crowd erupts at this turn as Heenan goes ballistic. Savage puts Shamrock on Severn before leaving to chase the Brain.

Winner: Frank Shamrock

Shamrock and Savage raise each other's hand in the air after the match.

*****

Savage and Shamrock discuss strategy BACKSTAGE~! while Styles rushes in for an interview.

Randy, Randy Savage, why? Why attack Dan Severn tonight?

OOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAAH, Joey StEYE-lles. Now y'all might be thinkin WHY, Ma-cho man, WHY attack Danny Severn tonight? Well I gots a reeeeeal simple answer for ya, ya see, after watchin what I did just last month I reeealized that the Macho Man can't be doin the three-on-one, oh no, because I think it's time for the MA-CHO MAN TO GO SOOOOLO....

Well, thank you Ma...

OOOOOOH YEAAAAAH, DIG IT!

*****

Main event time!

Hulk Hogan v. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Typical brawl from these two. Their overness carried the match because Hogan isn't the wrestler he'd need to be to put on a good show with Roberts.

Nice booking move on my part to have both men attempt finishers only to have them evaded at the last second, as well as to have Monsoon push the fact that either move can be hit from anywhere.

Hogan went for the legdrop only to have Roberts roll out of the ring; Roberts went for the DDT only to have Hogan quickly back away as soon as Jake approached him.

Finish came when Hogan Hulked up, and hit the boot.

But as he asked for the crowd's participation, out of nowhere came the very.....experienced, shall we say.....Roddy Piper to run in with a chair and get the DQ.

Piper locked in the sleeper and Hogan faded, and then Roberts sealed the deal with a DDT onto the chair...that should keep Hogan off the screen for just a while....or will it?

*****

BUT WAIT!

Heenan's getting word from "the boys" (me) in the back that next month, at WWWF Jailbreak, there will be a 20-man battle royal for the NEW WWWF Heavyweight championship belt!

*****

Overnight ratings were a 0.55, which is a .03 increase from last month...I guess we have their interest. Same number of people (7011) came, though, which is weird.

[oldskool]

It was early January when there was a knock at my door.

Come in.

Hey Vince...uh...

Yeah, Jake? What is it?

I.....look, Vince, I'm sorry, but the coke's got me......I'm goin to rehab.

Damn it....well...I guess it's for the best. You realize we can't pay you for rehab, though.

Yeah...just somethin ol' Jake's gotta do.

And with that he walked out.

Great. He gets a main-event push against Hogan and now he's gone 3 weeks before our huge WWWF Jailbreak PPV.

What am I going to do?

Sign some more talent.

Grab a few guys from the free agent pool, since I'm not a ruthless bastard like my son, I'm not going to run people out of bu....damn it, he's already taken out at least four companies.

Oh well. Four less companies between me and his downfall.

*****

LIVE, only on Pay Per View!

WWWF Jailbreak

Who will emerge as the WWWF Champion after the twenty man Jailbreak Battle Royal?

Will Piper explain his actions at Exile to the fans?

How much more powerful will the Daniels-Hennig Alliance get?

How is Jerry Lawler doing after getting choked out by Taz?

Find out the answers to these and many other questions by calling your local cable or satellite provider before January 30th!

[oldskool]

January 30, 2005

WWWF Jailbreak

*****

The competitors for tonight's 20-man Jailbreak match are as follows:

American Dragon

Andre The Giant

Christopher Daniels

Curt Hennig

Dan Severn

Frank Shamrock

Hulk Hogan

Jerry Lawler

Mordecai

Psychosis

Randy Savage

Ric Flair

Ricky Steamboat

Scott Andrews

Taz

and 5 mystery opponents! [[[[[CW Anderson, Sabu, Corino, Sid and Koloff]]]]]

*****

But first, our regular wrestling program.

Psychosis v. Scott Andrews

Andrews yelled at a fan who had a sign containing the words HEY SCOOTER on them...and that led to a "Scooter" chant that made him angrier.

In the ring he unleashed that anger on Psychosis, who, after losing a technical brawl (if there is such a thing), was forced to tap out to a Figure Four Leglock....that's Flair's move! Andrews needs a talking to about that...

Winner: Scott Andrews

Andrews storms off to the back and Psychosis limps his way back...at least he sold the Figure Four as painful.

*****

Backstage, Mordecai is throwing darts at a picture of Andre. One hits him in the forehead, then one in the nose....the camera zooms out to show that Mordecai has expertly made a cross out of darts on Andre's face.

*****

Dan Severn v. Frank Shamrock

Another technical masterpiece, with a bit more brawling (finally) outside the ring to try to get the fans involved.

They seemed to care at least a little more than the last few meetings.

Submissions aplenty outside the ring, although somehow they managed to get in the ring just in time to break the 10 count and avoid a loss.

However Bobby Heenan left the announce table to hurl insults at Shamrock...and that led to Bobby hurling water at Shamrock and getting attacked!

Severn leaped in to make the save and the ref threw the match out

No Contest

Severn and Heenan outnumbered Shamrock and they delivered a beatdown, leaving Shamrock holding his ribs.

*****

Backstage, Joey Styles once again with Jerry "The King" Lawler.

Well Jerry, after last month's attack I certainly wouldn't have requested MORE microphone time, but obviously with you that's not the case.

Yes, obviously that's not the case you moron, why else would I be here talking to you? But the reason I requested this time is to direct yet another message to that idiot Taz.

You might think you're the new hot shot around here, but let me tell YOU something punk, YOU AREN'T! I'm still the King and I was the King back before you were even a peasant!

Just because you attacked me from behind doesn't make you the new King, pal, and in that twenty-man battle royal later tonight I'm going to show you and everyone else in this arena why it's called a battle ROYAL.

*****

American Dragon v. Christopher Daniels (w/ Curt Hennig)

World-class wrestling here. Daniels held his own, but occasionally turned to Hennig for added support.

Dragon was the aggressor throughout the match, taking it to Daniels and Hennig at every opportunity.

But the numbers game proved to be too powerful to defeat, as Hennig tripped Dragon up late in the match, opening the door for Daniels to pick up the victory.

Winner: Christopher Daniels

Hennig and Daniels stomp away on Dragon, forcing him out of the ring.

A fan jumps the barricade and climbs the turnbuckles!

Hennig and Daniels raise their arms in the air to celebrate, but turn around and get a flying crossbody from SABU!

Sabu cleans house on Daniels and Hennig before heading out to check on American Dragon.

Has the American Dragon found backup in Sabu?

Or is this just another ploy by Hennig and Daniels?

*****

These two guys have been dying to debut, and with Roberts in rehab, they'll get their shot tonight at Jailbreak.

Ric Flair v. Ricky Steamboat

Let's see what these two can do.

WOW.

Mind-blowing stuff from Flair and Steamboat, and with that I kick myself for holding these two back for the last two months.

One of the best matches of all time, and I'm positive that's a feud-starter right there.

They battled to a time-limit draw (we needed to have enough time for the battle royal) but the crowd gave them a standing ovation as they brawled backstage.

Time Limit Draw

*****

Joey Styles catches up to Hulk Hogan just before the Battle Royal.

Hulkster, any final thoughts before the Battle Royal for the title?

...

Chants of "Hogan" roar throughout the arena.

WELL YA KNOW SOMETHIN JOEY STYLES! Hulk Hogan doesn't need to have any final thoughts! Hulk Hogan needs to go out there and kick nineteen other guy's butts, and walk out of that ring holding the WWWF Championship belt up high for all the Hulkamaniacs here tonight!

And with that, Real American is cued up and Hogan bursts through the curtains to the roar of the crowd as Styles throws it back to Monsoon and Heenan.

*****

20 MAN BATTLE ROYAL FOR THE WWWF CHAMPIONSHIP

We're a bit short on time so I've had the referees let the boys know to make this one relatively fast-paced so we don't run over. We're trying to get a TV deal and running over into the next show will NOT help us there.

The five mystery men are now in the ring, they are:

Nikita Koloff

Steve Corino

Sid Vicious

CW Anderson

Sabu (who debuted earlier, so he isn't really a mystery man)

Elimination order:

1) Mordecai by Severn

2) Steve Corino by Lawler

3) Frank Shamrock by Sid

4) CW Anderson by Savage

5) Curt Hennig by Flair

6) Nikita Koloff by Hogan

7) Chris Daniels by Savage (2)

8) American Dragon by Savage (3)

9) Scott Andrews by Sabu

10) Taz by Steamboat

11) Sabu by Hogan (2)

12) Psychosis by Hogan (3)

13) Flair by Hogan (4)

14) Steamboat by Lawler (2)

15) Severn by Hogan (5)

16) Sid Vicious by Hogan (6)

Leaving our Final Four:

Andre The Giant (0 eliminations, has done nothing but sit in the middle of the ring and be too big to eliminate).

Randy Savage (3 eliminations, including a bundling-out of Daniels and Dragon while they battled)

Jerry Lawler (2 eliminations, the debuting Steve Corino and later, Ricky Steamboat after he turned his back to taunt Flair)

and, who else:

Hulk Hogan (6 eliminations, including 5 of the last 6)

Andre continues to sit in the middle of the ring doing nothing as Hogan gets double-teamed by Lawler and Savage.

Lawler hits a piledriver to put Hogan down, and Savage heads up top.

He leaps off the top rope for the Savage Elbow Drop....and is CAUGHT BY ANDRE! HOLY MACKEREL BRAIN THE GIANT CAUGHT SAVAGE!

Andre quickly dumps Savage over the top rope with incredible ease, leaving Lawler (and pretty much every fan in the arena) looking on awestruck.

17) Savage by Andre

Lawler comes in for some punches...but gets his hand, and subsequently his face caught in the Iron Claw!

Lift, dump, repeat and Lawler's eliminated.

18) Lawler by Andre (2)

Andre thinks he'll have an easy time with the battered Hogan.....but it's EXTENDED SLOW HULK UP TIME!

Elbow...punch...kick...punch...headbutt.....punch....

Hogan's completely Hulked up!

BIG RIGHT HAND!

ANOTHER!

ANOTHER!

Irish whips Andre to the ropes.....BIG BOOT (to the midsection) staggers Andre!

Hogan calls for some help from the crowd.

"HEEEEY HOOOOOOGAN!"

The crowd and Hulk alike look up the ramp to see who it is...

GUESS WHO, HOGAN!

It's your old pal, Hulkster!

It's me!

RODDY PIPER!

Hogan looks backstage with anger and beckons for Piper to come out...but he has his back turned to Andre, who seizes the opportunity to dump Hogan out with a clothesline.

19) Hogan by Andre (3)

Winner, and NEW WWWF Heavyweight Champion: Andre The Giant

Fonzie comes running out with a new whistle, blowing it like crazy and jumping around like a little kid.

Andre just takes the belt and walks backstage.

*****

Overnights were a 0.56 for Jailbreak, increase of .01 overall.

7031 in attendance, a new company record!

Excellent show, time to...oh, hey Taz, what's up?

Well...uh...you know how me and Jake used to run togetha? Y'know, before he went to rehab?

Yeah...wait, you're going too???

I'm sorry to let you down, man, but Jake...he got me hooked, bro. I ain't got no otha choice, it's rehab or da grave for ol' Taz.

Yeah...I understand...I'll tell you what I told him, we can't pay you for rehab, or promise you a job when you get out, but if this is what you need we will help you out.

Taz patted me on the back.

Thanks man. I really need this.

And with that he walked off into the rehab clinic.

Great. That's the Taz-Lawler feud gone to shit.

Our only hope is to have Lawler save our ass with a promo.

[wrestlingsuicide]

This is pretty wierd... good... yet very wierd. Innovative idea...let's see where it goes. It would be funny to have young Hogan and old Hogan face off sometime in the future though. THE BATTLE OF THE BIGGEST EGOS!

[oldskool]

Hey Vinny! Can I talk to ya?

Sure, Roddy, what's up?

Well Vin-man, I gotta tell ya with Taz and Rawberts headin to rehab for coke...

Oh, come on Roddy, not you too! This would be the third big-time feud blown...

RELAX, Vinster, ol' RP ain't gonna bail on ya, not now anyways, I gotta get my revenge on Hogan first! Then maybe after I whip his red and yella ass, I'll think about headin to rehab myself. But not till I get me somma Hogan!

Good Lord, almost had a third feud blown up in my face. I better make sure I have backup plans for EVERY feud from now on because this is getting too close for comfort.

*****

WWWF BLACKOUT

See the new team of American Dragon and Sabu battle their arch-rivals Chris Daniels and Curt Hennig in tag team action!

See part two of Flair-Steamboat!

Witness another classic battle between Shamrock and Severn!

What is Hogan's response to the stunning debut of Roddy Piper?

Call your local cable or satellite provider before Feb. 27th for a special discount on WWWF Blackout!

Don't be left in the dark, order Blackout today!

[oldskool]

February 27, 2005

WWWF Blackout

*****

Time for our big Blackout PPV.

The opening montage plays......but is cut off?

Cameraman running in the parking lot to a gathering of people.

Lying on the ground is a battered and bloody Hulk Hogan.

Question is...whodunit??

*****

Dan Severn (w/ Bobby Heenan) v. Frank Shamrock

Another technical masterpiece...although neither man's getting over. Wonder why that is...

Oh, the match.

Like I said, a submission lover's dream, part 4.

But once again that DASTARDLY Bobby Heenan delivers the distraction to cost Frank Shamrock the match. Shamrock turned his back, and that led to him turning around into the Beast Choker for a tap out.

Winner: Dan Severn

Afterwards, Shamrock ranted and raved about how he needed a manager to back him up, while Heenan reminded our viewers that it was Shamrock who tapped out, and that Heenan had nothing to do with his submission.

*****

Backstage, roving reporter Joey Styles is on the case with Jerry Lawler.

Well, once again Jerry Lawler you've requested some time and here you are.

Well thanks a lot Joey, nice to see you too. Actually EVERYTHING has been nice to the King lately...for example, that no good punk Taz just up and left the company because of me! It's good to be the King, Joey...although, heh, you'll never know about that, now, will you?

I'd imagine not, King.

(mockingly) "Oh, uh I'd imagine not Mister King sir" Oh shut your sniveling little mouth Joey Styles, of course you'll never be the King! Not with that goofy haircut and those stupid glasses!

Lawler walks off laughing as Styles sends it back out to Monsoon and Heenan (while adjusting his hair and glasses).

*****

American Dragon and Sabu v. Chris Daniels and Curt Hennig

Solid, solid match. Very nice job by Dragon to keep his battles with Hennig mat-based to not show the weak aerial attacks of Curt, and equally as nice to see Chris Daniels go spot-for-spot with Sabu to avoid showing his horrible technical skills.

Finish came with an Arabian Facebuster to Chris Daniels as Dragon locked the Cattle Mutilation on Hennig on the outside to prevent him breaking up the count.

Winners: American Dragon and Sabu

Afterwards, Dragon and Sabu celebrated...but there was a look of doubt on Dragon's face, as if to say "Can I do it on my own without Sabu as my backup or tag partner?"

*****

Frank Shamrock is walking backstage when a mystery man approaches him and applies for the management job. He is immediately accepted and the two talk and walk as we fade into the next segment.

*****

Ric Flair v. Ricky Steamboat

Another world-class battle between these two. Back and forth, forth and back for 10-15 minutes of excellent brawling, high-flying and technical mastery.

It's a shame it all came to an end with Roddy Piper laying both guys out with a chair.

No Contest

After the bell was rung, Piper requested a mic.

Ya know, a lotta da guys back dere've been sayin that ol' RP took out Hogan earlier tanite. Well Roddy Piper just came out here to show all you people what happens when Roddy Piper takes someone out!

Piper lays chairshots into the abs of Flair and Piper, before delivering CRUSHING blows to both men's faces, leaving them motionless and bloodied.

Now, all you people see what Roddy Piper can do ta two guys the caliber of a Ric Flair and a Rick Steamboat...just IMAGINE, people, IMAGINE what Roddy Piper couldda done to a Hulk Hogan! If Roddy Piper did this much damage ta two guys at da same time, dere wouldn't be any'a Hulk Hogan left ta recognize if RP had been his attacka!

Piper throws the chair and the mic down before leaving the ring to a chorus of boos.

*****

Fonzie and Andre walking around backstage.

Hey, come on 'dre! Show some life, some energy, somethin! Just because Hogan's out doesn't mean you ain't got a match tonite champ!

Umm....you two!

Fonzie points at two random guys.

How would you two guys like a shot at the WWWF Champion tonite!

The two guys confer for a moment, before excitedly agreeing.

Great! You two go in the ring and I'll go get the champ! This is gonna be a great, I can feel it!

*****

Blade and Jude (as they told the ring announcer their names were) are ready for the champ.....until they realize the champ's Andre The Giant.

Blade and Jude v. Andre the Giant © w/ Bill Alfonso

Utter annihilation. These two kids threw everything they had at Andre and got a heaping wad of SQUASH thrown back in their face.

Finish came with a double Iron Claw Slam for a double pin (even though both men had already submitted to the Claw before being slammed down)

Winner, and STILL WWWF Champion: Andre The Giant

Fonzie rushes into the ring with the belt...and is knocked down by Mordecai, emerging from under the ring!

Mordecai with a chop block and Andre is down to one knee! Big right hands to the face, knee lifts, boots, everything Mordecai has is being hurled at Andre!

Fonzie yells "You want it? Here, TAKE IT!" and throws the belt at Mordecai.

He catches it and looks at his reflection in it...allowing Andre to lean back and throw a MASSIVE punch into the back of it, knocking Mordecai through the ropes, onto the floor, into the barricade and COMPLETELY out of conciousness.

Fonzie goes over to the fallen Mordecai and prys the belt from his lifeless hands.

That's the closest you're eva gonna get to the title, pal! Nobody's gonna beat DA GIANT!

Fade to black with Andre still on one knee, and Fonzie rushing in to hand him the belt.

*****

Another 0.56, no increase this month.

7104 were in attendance for Blackout.

Edited October 10, 2004 by oldskool

[TheBusinessman]

You're doing a decent job, but try to mix up the booking a bit and make it interesting..

[oldskool]

March 20, 2005

WWWF Showdown

The first direct conflict between WWE and WWWF.

Wrestlemania XXI vs. WWWF Showdown

We even held a fan festival beforehand to hopefully snag some people and viewers from WWE. Let's see how it does.

*****

First up is Psychosis, and he's backstage with Bill Alfonso. The mic wasn't working for some stupid reason (fortunately it was taped earlier so it could be edited) but basically Fonzie was to put over the fact that Psychosis took out Scottie Andrews and that there ain't nothin nobody can do to stop Fonzie's disciples Psychosis and Andre The Giant.

*****

Sabu v. Curt Hennig

Their first singles matchup in the WWWF.

Basic brawl, because Sabu can't wrestle Hennig's technical style and Hennig can't keep up with Sabu's suicide high-flying.

Daniels was in one corner, Dragon in the other, but little interaction between the two throughout.

Finish came when Hennig was passed some brass knux from Daniels and laid Sabu out...but the ref caught him, and called for a DQ.

Winner: Sabu

Hennig argued with the ref (still having the brass knux on his hand) and then decked him in anger.

*****

Backstage, a party is being held for Jerry Lawler's accomplishments (running Taz out of the company and pinning Hulk Hogan in under 6 months). Lawler's the only one there, spraying champagne everywhere...until we see Randy Savage come into the party.

Hey, Randy, you made it! Come on man have some cake and champagne, there's plenty left...

Savage doesn't look like he wants to party.

OOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAH JERRY LAW-LER you must be sinkin thinkin that you're sittin pretty! But let the MACH-OO Man be the first to tell you that you ain't nothin!

Hey, Nacho guy, don't come in here and tell the King what he is and what he isn't! I pinned Hulk Hogan 1-2-3 in the middle of that ring and...

You neva woulda pinned the Hulksta if not for my SAVAGE ELBOW OOOOOOOH YEAH DIG IT!

And with that Savage turns away and heads to leave....but Lawler smashes a champagne bottle over the back of his head!

Idiot. I told him not to order the King around...

*****

Dan Severn v. Frank Shamrock

Technique. More of it. Submissions. More of those.

Every time with these guys it's more of the same but something different in that category.

If these guys don't step it up and start putting on some more exciting shows they won't be with the company for long.

Finish came when a masked man ran down to the ring and distracted Heenan long enough to mess up his distraction, causing Severn to be out of position and allowing Shamrock to finish him with a Cross Face Chicken Wing.

Winner: Frank Shamrock

Shamrock and the masked man shake hands before heading to the back.

*****

American Dragon v. Christopher Daniels

These guys put on a high-flying exhibition tonight, lots of aerial moves and quite a bit of top-rope action.

Psychology came in when Daniels slipped off the top rope and missed a big elbow drop, for the rest of the match he was very wary of going up high.

Finish came when Sabu came down and cleaned Daniel's clock causing the No Contest.

No Contest

Daniels slinked away as Dragon pounded the canvas in anger, screaming "I HAD HIM!"

*****

Backstage, a huge brawl erupts!

Ric Flair v. Ricky Steamboat, Falls Count Anywhere

Chops are traded early, not much in the way of holds, more of a beatdown by each man.

They brawled through the parking lot (where the whole thing started when Flair's limo bumped Steamboat's car), and then through the backstage hallways (with a turning point when Steamboat threw Flair into a vending machine, causing it to topple over and almost land on Flair), and finally they made their way out to ringside.

Steamboat hit a NICE DDT in the middle of the ring, but when he went up top for the Flying Crossbody, Flair rolled out of the ring quickly.

But even that wouldn't put out Steamboat's fire as he hit the SUICIDE FLYING CROSSBODY TO THE OUTSIDE~! and then counted his own three.

Winner: Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat and Flair both needed to be helped to the back after their war.

*****

Backstage (again) Hulk Hogan is walking, bandaged up and watching his back. Should have watched his front though as he walked right into Roddy Piper.

Heya Hulksta, how's the ol' noggin?

Very funny Rod. But you know as well as I know that you're the one that attacked me.

You can't prove nuttin Hogan, and you know it. So don't you be comin here ta accuse Roddy Piper of sometin you don't know nuttin about!

Whatever, Roddy. But when I find out it was you....I'm gonna ask you just one question.

WHATCHAGONNADOOOOOOOOOOOOO??????

Hogan storms off as Piper just stares and laughs.

*****

Andre The Giant v. Mordecai, non-title match

Mordecai, fresh off of a KO two months ago, returns to the ring to battle Andre in a non-title match.

Wasn't much of a battle really.

Mordecai's only offensive advantages came with thumbs to the eyes of the giant.

Iron Claw Slam finished Mordecai.

Winner: Andre The Giant

Andre takes his belt and starts to lift it until Fonzie grabs it and runs around the ring blowing his whistle.

The giant doesn't take too kindly to having his property snatched away....so he LOCKS IN THE IRON CLAW ON ALFONSO! FONZIE'S IN THE CLAW! FONZIE'S IN THE CLAW!

Bill drops the belt and blacks out, and then Andre picks up the title and walks up the entrance ramp to some familiar music....

*****

0.56 rating, not bad for an anti-WrestleMania show, really, no lost viewership at all (plus 7158 people attended in person). A quick check on the internet showed why:

WrestleMania XXI, LIVE from the Staples Center....March 27th.

They moved WrestleMania back a week just so they wouldn't compete against us.

They signed New Jack and Perry Saturn to contracts a few days earlier though....wonder what their role will be?

Wrestlemania XXI ended up drawing a 1.97 buy rate, not to mention 20,688 people in attendance, nearly triple our stats.

*****

Another one bites the dust, and this isn't an April Fool's day prank.

NWA: East has gone under thanks to my boy.

One less competitor for us, I suppose.

[oldskool]

WWWF Genesis is about to begin.

Again we compete head-to-head with the WWE (unless they change the PPV time again...)

*****

To open up the show...former Smackdown General Manager (just recently fired, I might add) and NEW WWWF Commissioner, Mister Theodore Long!

He's not too happy about being fired, and he plans on taking out his anger and frustration on anyone in the WWWF who happens to get in his way..."belie dat".

*****

Psychosis is walking backstage with Fonzie, talking about how Andre betrayed them....when out of nowhere Scott Andrews jumps in with a pipe and starts laying into Psychosis' right knee! BIG clubs to the front and back of the knee, followed by a knee breaker and Psychosis may be done...Andrews screams at him and Fonzie before throwing the pipe onto the ground with a CLANG and storming off.

*****

Dan Severn v. Frank Shamrock

Yawn. These two might be gone to open up a slot for a tag division before next month's show. We've done about all we can to liven these two up but they're so repetitive it's impossible.

The finish for THIS one came when Frank's new "manager" known only as Paul came down to the ring and tripped Severn coming off the ropes, which left him open for a modified Cobra Clutch chokeout victory for Shamrock.

Winner: Frank Shamrock

Paul continued to lay the boots into Severn until Shamrock told him to stop and they left.

*****

A video was played, chronicling the history of Roddy Piper (including his return to wrestling as the third member of the NWO), his hatred for Hulk Hogan, and how long Piper's been waiting for Hogan to "come out of hiding" so he can beat the daylights out of him. The video ended with footage of Hogan down and bloodied a few months ago at the hands of a mystery assailant while Piper proclaims it wasn't him.

*****

Chris Daniels v. ANYBODY

In a HUGE display of arrogance, Chris Daniels and Curt Hennig claim that nobody can defeat the Fallen Angel. They point out that he's undefeated in singles competition, and then exaggerate to say that he will never be defeated by a mere mortal...so they lay out an open challenge for anyone...and it's answered by:

Mordecai

Guess he's tired of getting squashed by Andre?

Chris Daniels v. Mordecai, Open Challenge

Not a squash, surprisingly. Mordecai showed some offense for the first time in his WWWF career, showing that he does have remarkable power and quickness...but was it enough?

Enough to defeat Daniels by himself, maybe.

Unfortunately for Mordecai, Hennig ran in and distracted the referee long enough for a chair shot to the head of Mordecai by Daniels and that got three.

Winner: Chris Daniels

Hennig and Daniels stomp away on Mordecai while the crowd BEGS for American Dragon to come out...Dragon doesn't show.

*****

That oh-so-familiar guitar riff ripples throughout the arena and it's Andre The Giant heading to the ring, with his new manager under a mask.

Big guy, muscley...big pink feather boa...

Andre and the mystery manager enter the ring, and the manager unmasks to reveal.....

THE BODY IS BACK IN THE WWWF!

Fresh off of his political retirement, Jesse Ventura has returned to the squared circle to lead the Giant.

Jesse simply states that he won't be bringing the Giant to the top, because the Giant is already there, and has always been there, and always WILL be there.

*****

Jerry Lawler v. Randy Savage

This one came about from last month's "party" where Lawler KO'd Savage with a champagne bottle.

Pure brawl with some rest holds in between. STIFF punching though, those two better be careful or else another feud will be gone in an instant with an injury.

Finish came when Savage missed the Savage Elbow and Lawler capitalized with a cover (and a handful of tights)

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Lawler celebrates as Savage complains about the tights.

*****

WWWF Commissioner Teddy Long back in his new office.

Hello, this is your WWWF Commissioner, Teddy Long. Now I've got a lot to say and nottalotta time to say it in, so I'll be brief.

There is just TOO MUCH CHAOS goin on back here in the WWWF locker room.

Everybody's tryin to make their case to the Giant as to who deserves a title shot.

So what I'm declarin, that right now, startin next month, there'll be a tournament.

A 16-man tournament, to decide the numba one contenda for the title.

But it won't be 8 matches o' two. Oh no.

It'll be four matches a-four, elimination style! And the winnas will go one-on-one in two separate matches in June, with the winnas goin one on one in July for the title shot in August!

Now what about the next few months for our champion, the Giant?

You see it's gonna be real simple.

I'mma going to import the best talent I can find to keep our champion busy and active. Maybe his title'll be on the line, maybe it won't. He won't know until after the match, and that's the beauty of the Unknown Ending!

That is all.

*****

Ric Flair v. Ricky Steamboat, Submissions Only match

THESE guys know how it's done. Unlike Severn-Shamrock, these two entertain the hell out of you with their technical flawlessness.

Chops, holds, high-flying, brawling, these guys have it all.

But for tonight, Flair's got all the cards as he forces a submission with his patented Figure Four Leglock.

Winner: Ric Flair

*****

A new record!

0.60 buyrate for our show...WWE got 1.99 though, so we've got some work to do.

7577 people attended our show, another record!

Things are looking up for team WWWF.

As a result we're going to up our advertising and merchandising funding in hopes of helping our cause.

*****

Good news!

Jake Roberts and Tazz have both been released from rehab and they're back on the roster!

Problem is, their feuds have been blown up and restarted with someone else (Piper and Savage, respectively). What to do?

Fire Severn and Shamrock to free up some air time for them, first of all.

*****

PREDICTION TIME!

I know I don't have hardcore readers yet, but for those that are reading, might as well try for some reader participation, right?

Predict:

Of the elimination Fatal Four Ways at WWWF Wasteland, list IN ORDER who is eliminated first, second, third and who is going to win the match.

The Matches:

American Dragon v. Chris Daniels v. Sabu v. Curt Hennig

Tazz v. Mystery Opponent A v. Psychosis v. Scott Andrews

Jerry Lawler v. Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage v. Ric Flair

Jake Roberts v. Ricky Steamboat v. Roddy Piper v. Mystery Opponent B

Most correct out of 16 wins.

The winner will have his or her prize choice PMed to them shortly after the posting of the PPV.

Good luck, and happy predicting!

Hint: Neither of the two mystery opponents have worked for the WWWF in this diary before.

[Guest FFX]

American Dragon v. Chris Daniels v. Sabu v. Curt Hennig

1st Elimination Sabu

2nd American Dragon

3rd Chird Daniels

Winner Curt Hennig

Tazz v. Mystery Opponent A v. Psychosis v. Scott Andrews

1st Scott Andrews

2nd Mystery Opponent A

3rd Tazz

Winner Psycosis

Jerry Lawler v. Hulk Hogan v. Randy Savage v. Ric Flair

1st Jerry Lawler

2nd Randy Savage

3rd Hogan

Winner Flair

Jake Roberts v. Ricky Steamboat v. Roddy Piper v. Mystery Opponent B

1st Mystery Opponent B

2nd Jake Roberts

3rd Piper

Winner Ricky Steamboat

IMHO 16/16