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Guest I Am Lame

I am the guy who started CEW the other day. I had a computer problem as I was getting on to type the first show (on my other computer) and now I'm not able to do that 1 until I buy a new copy of Windows XP. I am not replacing it with this one, instead I'm going to run this one on the other computer that I use (which I don't use as much).

Back in June, Vince McMahon decided to have a contest with a prize that the winner gets to spend 1 hour with him. You had to watch Heat and Velocity 10 shows in a row to enter and it was not advertised off of those shows. I watched Velocity on the first night of the contest because I was making CAWs for a wrestling game. The CAW site I was making collapsed and I went into wrestling writing, but I watched 10 Heat/Velocity shows in a row and entered all 10 codes, entering myself in the contest. On the night of August 31st, I was notified via email that I had won the contest, even though I forgot I had even entered by then. I was to spend an hour with Vince prior to Unforgiven and get to see the PPV (which wasn't worth buying by the way). Here are parts of the conversation.

Me: I'd like to suggest a storyline to you.

Vince: Hopefully it isn't push Steven Richards like the last guy I talked to. Go ahead with it.

Me: I would like to suggest a Smackdown VS Raw war storyline.

Vince: What? The last time we did that, the fans hated the storyline.

Me: That was because you didn't portray the 2 sides as equal or make it drawn out enough.

Vince: Those are the complaints that I've read on certain Internet websites. The idea is something I've been considering, but I have not known how to do it.

...

Me: I'd like to suggest a few changes to the WWE. First, make Heat and Velocity decent shows.

Vince: That does sound like a great idea.

Me: Second, make PPVs 10 months of the year based on gimmick matches and move PPV days to some day other than Friday.

Vince: Sounds good, that's what I'm doing with Taboo Tuesday.

Me: Third, bring in new PPV names and get rid of brand-only PPVs. The current names are somewhat boring.

Vince: OK, I'll think of something. The time is up. Nice talking to you and thanks for the ideas.

Next, I saw the crappy Unforgiven event, ending with Randy Orton getting screwed out of the World Heavyweight Championship. After the event, I went home and waited for No Mercy. The main event was a Last Ride match between JBL and Undertaker. JBL won the match because Eric Bischoff was driving the hearse and Evolution was in the back seat of it. The next week on Smackdown, Teddy Long was trying to remedy the situation. Taboo Tuesday came around and Smackdown's faces attacked Evolution after Edge screwed Shawn Michaels out of the World Heavyweight Championship. Evolution was knocked out. Over the next few shows, 6 matches were announced for the Survivor Series, airing on Black Friday. They were the "Diva Series" and the 5 Survivor Series matches.

I was hired by a new magazine named The Wrestling News because of the quality of my Internet writing and I'll be covering the WWE.

I'm going to post the roster and Raw on November 1st soon.

Edited by rko pedigree
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Guest I Am Lame

The Wrestling News

November 3rd 2004

Pay Per View Events

November 26 (Black Friday): Survivor Series

December 24 (Christmas Eve): War Games

January 28: King of the Ring I

Februrary 02: King of the Ring II

March 30: Wrestlemania XXI

April 19: No Holds Barred

May 13: Ironman Series

June 15: Bad Blood

July 01: Royal Rumble

August 31: SummerSlam

September 14: Tables, Ladders and Chairs

October 18: Taboo Tuesday

Raw Roster

Main Event

Faces

Chris Benoit (1 half of World Tag Team Champions)

Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels (returns to the ring at Survivor Series)

Heels

Triple H (World Heavyweight Champion)

Upper Midcard

Faces

Chris Jericho

Tweeners

Edge (1 half of World Tag Team Champions)

Heels

Batista

Christian

Kane (out making a movie, will be back at Survivor Series)

Midcard

Face

Eugene Dinsmore

Lita

Matt Hardy (returns at Survivor Series)

Rhyno

Shelton Benjamin (Intercontinental Champ)

Tajiri

The Hurricane

William Regal

Heel

A-Train

Gail Kim

Gene Snitsky

Jazz

Molly Holly

Rob Conway

Test

Trish Stratus (Womens Champ)

Lower Midcard

Face

Ivory

Maven

Rosey

Val Venis

Victoria

Heel

Christopher Nowinski

Chuck Palumbo

Garrison Cade

Mark Henry

Rodney Mack

Sylvain Grenier

Tyson Tomko

Opener

Tweener

Steven Richards

Manager

Face

Christy Hemme

Nidia

Stacy Kiebler

Heel

Ric Flair

Non-Wrestlers

Face

Jerry Lawler

The Rock

Heel

Eric Bischoff

Smackdown Roster

Main Event

Face

Big Show

Eddie Guerrero

The Undertaker

Heel

John Bradshaw Layfield (WWE Champ)

Kurt Angle

Upper Midcard

Face

John Cena (Making a movie, will return at Survivor Series)

Rob Van Dam

Heel

Booker T

Midcard

Face

Al Snow

Billy Gunn

Charlie Haas (injured in storyline)

Chavo Guerrero

Rey Mysterio

Rico

Heel

Billy Kidman

Bubba Ray Dudley

Carlito Carribean Cool (United States Champ)

D-Von Dudley

John Heidenreich

Luther Raines

Rene Dupree (1 half of WWE Tag Team Champs)

Lower Midcard

Face

Hardcore Holly

Johnny Stamboli

Nunzio

Paul London

Scotty Too Hotty

Shannon Moore

Heel

Danny Basham

Doug Basham

Kenzo Suzuki (1 half of WWE Tag Team Champs)

Mark Jindrak

Orlando Jordan

Spike Dudley (Cruiserweight Champ)

Opener

Face

Funaki

Heel

Akio

Manager

Face

Miss Jackie

Torrie Wilson

Tweener

Dawn Marie

Heel

Hiroko

Paul Heyman

Non-Wrestlers

Stephanie McMahon

Theodore Long

Non Brand Split roster

Midcarders

Face

Ultimo Dragon

Managers

Face

Jim Cornette

Heel

Carmella DeCesare

Non-Wrestlers

Face

Rick Michaels

Shane McMahon

Heel

Brock Lesnar

Vince McMahon

Edited by rko pedigree
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I like the backstory, but not the PPVs. For a start, the Royal Rumble has to be January for me, with the King of the Ring being in June. Also, I don't like the thought of having 2 KOTRs in the same year, especially in consective months. The other thing is all the gimmick PPVs, I mean a PPV of Iron Man matches would have to last about 8 hours, then a TLC PPV and a War Games PPV seems like overkill.

Other than that, I will await the first show

Edited by Jam
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Guest I Am Lame

Sorry that I didn't have this up quicker. I finished this on Wednesday and the site went down as I was going to post it. The last few days, I've been at the place where my CEW game is stored (meaning that I can't use a computer on those days). I'm going to be able to be online this weekend, though. I'll explain the reasons for the Rumble being moved and 2 KOTR tournaments.

The Wrestling News

November 3rd 2004

Monday Night Raw results

Raw opened up with the usual video package, then JR and the King welcoming us to the show. They ran down the current Survivor Series card.

Diva Series

Lita, Trish, Gail and Stacy VS Jackie, Torrie, Dawn and (making her in-ring debut) Hiroko

Undertaker's Revenge

Eric Bischoff and Evolution VS The Undertaker and 3 men of his choice

Team Eddie VS Team Orton

Team Angle VS Team Benoit

Team Michaels VS Team JBL

Team Big Show VS Team Edge

Next, we went backstage where Randy Orton challenged Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship tonight.

Raw presents... Maven VS Tyson Tomko

We cut to the ring, where Maven is introduced. Out comes his opponent, "The Problem Solver" Tyson Tomko. Tomko dominated the early match, but eventually Maven found himself and after a few minutes, he hit the Halo DDT for the pin fall. He is celebrating the victory. Maven defeats Tyson Tomko via pinfall at approx. 8 minutes.

Raw and Smackdown present... Charlie Haas VS Rob Conway

After a commercial break, Charlie Haas and Rob Conway come out to the ring. Haas and Conway traded holds for about 5 minutes, until Conway took control. At around 8 minutes, Haas took back control of the match and he locked in the Haas of Pain. He celebrates the victory. Charlie Haas defeats Rob Conway via submission at approx 8 and a half minutes.

Triple H has an interview with The Coach in which he talks about how he is going to defeat Randy Orton tonight and retain the World Heavyweight Championship.

Raw and Smackdown present... Rhyno & Tajiri VS The Dudley Boyz

We cut to the ring, where the 2 teams are standing getting ready for their match. Typical tag team match. Face team starts hot, Duds isolated Tajiri and then Rhyno got tagged. Rhyno destroyed everything in sight, but a miscommunication occurred and the Dudleyz hit a 3D to Rhyno. This one ended with a brawl to the back. The Dudley Boyz win when D-Von pins Rhyno at approx 15 minutes.

Evolution was seen hanging out back stage. Typical segment of this type involving Evolution.

Raw presents... Chris Jericho VS Batista

We come back from a commercial to see Y2J coming out. Batista then comes out and the match starts. Jericho jobbed this one to Batista, who ended it easily with a Batista Bomb. Batista cheap shotted Jericho after a handshake. Batista defeats Chris Jericho via pinfall in 5 minutes.

Raw presents... Chris Benoit and Edge VS Christian and Gene Snitsky for the World Tag Team Titles

Immediately following the last match, we see Benoit and Edge come out. Christian and Snitsky follow. Edge and Benoit don't get along, but they are champs. Edge decides to be a team player in this match, so he doesn't walk out, unlike Taboo Tuesday. Benoit and Edge start off hot. Edge gets isolated by Christian and Snitsky. Edge eventually tagged Benoit, who came in and did the usual thing you see in a tag match. He cooled down, but eventually, Snitsky got caught in a Crossface. Snitsky tapped out to Benoit. The champs celebrated their victory. Chris Benoit and Edge win when Chris Benoit makes Gene Snitsky tap out at approx 20 minutes.

We cut backstage where Carlito Carribean Cool talks about how Eugene is not cool. That leads into the following segment.

Raw and Smackdown present... Carlito Carribean Cool VS Eugene Dinsmore for the WWE United States Title

Eugene takes control early, beating the crap out of Carlito. Eventually, Carlito gained control. He hit a few good spots, then Eugene came back and got some offense in, but Carlito pulled Eugene's tights for a win and he ran away trying to avoid Eugene's revenge. Carlito defeats Eugene via pinfall at approx 7 and a half minutes.

Raw presents... Triple H (with Ric Flair) VS Randy Orton

Orton took control of the match early. He dominated the first 5 minutes, but Triple H took control after a cheap shot by "The dirtiest player in the game." Triple H had control until 13 minutes when Orton came to life. Eventually, the ref was knocked out, then Eddie Guerrero showed up and he hit the Frog Splash to Randy Orton. Triple H covered him as the ref miraculously came to for the pin. Chris Benoit came out to help Orton defend himself against Latino Heat and Triple H. Eventually Orton and Benoit got out of there as Orton's music played at the end of the show. Triple H defeats Randy Orton via pinfall at approx 20 minutes.

Show Quality: C+

We are the only wrestling magazine to be able to report the ratings for Monday Night Raw this week. Raw got a 6.04 rating, the highest in years. I guess the new gimmicks are really enough to bring back the fans who were alienated.

We can also exclusively report that our very own staff writer, RKO Pedigree gave these ideas to Vince. All of you can thank him for the improvements made to Raw.

We can exclusively report the Tough Enough contestants before you see the $1,000,000 Tough Enough on Fox on November 9th at 4 PM. The contestants are Burchill, the amazing high flying 350 pounder, Durango Kid, a high flying Mexican luchadore, El Hombre Sin Nombre, another Mexican lucha, Hade Vansen, a British high flyer, Lance Silva, an American high flyer, Lazarus, another American high flyer and Xtasis, a 3rd American high flyer. Voting for Tough enough begins November 10th on WWE.com. Now there will finally be a reason to check that site out. The Tough Enough guys will be paid a salary by WWE for working in OVW, until they are eliminated. The last remaining contestant gets a 4 year, $1,000,000 contract with the WWE.

In an interview with Tajiri, TWN found out that he has a minor arm injury and will miss the Survivor Series. We can assure you that it was not suffered in the tag match that him and Rhyno lost to the Dudley Boyz. He should be back around the beginning of the year.

Edited by rko pedigree
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Guest I Am Lame

The Wrestling News

November 10th 2004

WWE Smackdown Results

The show started with its usual video package, then Teddy Long was on the mic. He said that tonight's main event would be The Big Show VS John Bradshaw Layfield with all outside banned from ringside. The match would be a Hardcore match so that JBL could not run or hide and it would be for the WWE Championship. "Holla Holla"

We cut to Josh Matthews live with The FBI and their new manager Jim Cornette. Cornette announced that he had found new clients. Next, the FBI announced that they had been hired by the FBI to eliminate crime within the WWE. They talked about how they were going to find a criminal and bring him to justice, tonight.

Smackdown presents... Billy Kidman VS Chavo Guerrero VS Spike Dudley for the WWE Cruiserweight Title

The match started off with Chavo going after Billy Kidman who had knocked him out intentionally with a Shooting Star Press. Chavo took him down Spike rolled up Chavo and pulled both his tights and the ropes, but Chavo kicked out. Spike and Kidman layed the punishment on Chavo for a minute, but then fought each other, letting Chavo get up. All 3 men traded blows for the next 2 and a half minutes, but Billy Kidman hit Chavo with a steel chair behind the ref's back and rolled up Spike to steal the Cruiserweight championship. We cut to a commercial after this quick match. Billy Kidman wins when he pins Spike Dudley at 3:49.

We come back from a commercial where Smackdown VS Raw is advertised. The commercial concentrates on the wrestling part of the game rather than the stupid bra & panties crap. Cole and Tazz run down the Survivor Series card.

Diva Series

Lita, Trish, Gail and Stacy VS Jackie, Torrie, Dawn and (making her in-ring debut) Hiroko

Undertaker's Revenge

Eric Bischoff and Evolution VS The Undertaker and 3 men of his choice

Eddie Guerrero and all 3 Dudleyz VS Randy Orton, Matt Hardy, The Hurricane and Shelton Benjamin

Team Angle VS Team Benoit

Team Michaels VS Team JBL

Team Big Show VS Team Edge

Next, Tazz announces that Vince McMahon has ordered Kenzo and Rene to defend against the FBI, tonight on Smackdown. That match is next.

Smackdown presents... The FBI VS Kenzo and Rene for the WWE Tag Team Titles

This match was quick as the FBI dominated all 4 minutes of it. Nunzio defeated Kenzo and then the FBI beat down Kenzo and Rene and arrested them for unAmerican activities. I guess joining the FBI motivated these guys. The FBI win when Nunzio pins Kenzo Suzuki at 4:01

We cut to the back, where Latino Heat, Eddie Guerrero is on the mic. He says that Randy Orton made a mistake when he signed for a match with Latino Heat. He then says that Latino Heat is going to make sure that the punk Randy Orton ceases to exist. The fans chanted "Eddie sucks" throughout this promo. I personally agree with that statement.

Raw and Smackdown present... The Bashams VS Eugene and William Regal

This one was another short match with Eugene picking up a pin on Danny Basham at 2 and a half minutes. In this one, Eugene and Regal were dominant. Eugene and Regal win when Eugene pins Danny Basham at 2:35

Smackdown presents... Rey Mysterio, RVD and John Cena VS Kurt Angle, Carlito Carribean Cool and Booker T

Rey, RVD and Cena started this one hot, dominating the 3 heels. Eventually, Rey was in the ring alone with all 3 men tagging in and out. Rey suddenly was able to make a tag to RVD, who came into the ring and took out all 3 men. It settled down to RVD and Angle, when RVD Superkicked Angle and delivered the 5 Star Frog Splash for a pin. RVD, Rey and Cena win when RVD pins Angle at 15:15

We cut to Randy Orton on the mic who says that Eddie Guerrero screwed him out of the World Title and that he wants revenge. He talks about how the fans are right that Eddie sucks. He says that he is the Legend Killer and Eddie "Gayrero" isn't even in his league. This is definitely not a heel turn, just a face really pissed off.

Raw and Smackdown present... Randy Orton VS Eddie Guerrero

Orton dominated Eddie for 30 minutes in this no DQ match, destroying him, but not going for the cover. At 30 minutes, he finds out that they have hit the time limit and the EMTs come out. Orton throws him off of the stretcher and takes Eddie to the back, continuing to beat the crap out of him. We see Eddie Guerrero arrested by the FBI for what he has done to Randy Orton and for being drunk in public. The match ended in a draw

JBL comes out to the ring for the main event and hypes the match with Big Show, promising the fans that he, THEIR WWE champion will leave tonight with a victory. He then compared himself to "the Almighty."

Smackdown presents... JBL VS Big Show in a Hardcore match for the WWE Title.

Big Show started off dominating JBL, hitting him with a steel chair. Like the Big Show needs to use a steel chair to get ahead. He is 500 pounds, which you probably know. JBL got ahold of the WWE Title and started using it to beat on the Big Show. Big Show recovered and he took back control at around 7 minutes. He continued the use of weapons. Eventually, they decide to do some wrestling. Big Show impressed everyone moreso than JBL in this match. After about 25 minutes of back and forth action, Big Show took control. He hit a chokeslam on a PS2 system and then picked up the pin. Big Show celebrated winning the WWE Title for the 3rd time. Big Show defeats JBL at 26:21 via pin.

Show quality: C++

Nielson reported that the WWE got a 5.66 for Smackdown on UPN this week. This is further great news for the WWE.

This will be all that I'm going to do today.

Edited by rko pedigree
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Guest I Am Lame

The Wrestling News

November 10th 2004

WWE Velocity Results

Velocity opens with its usual video package, then we go backstage where Ric Flair and Batista are conducting an interview. They hype Batista's match tonight against Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Title. We then go to the ring.

Raw and Smackdown present... Funaki VS Steven Richards

Funaki was the dominant wrestler for all 3 minutes of this match, which ended in a missile dropkick and a pin. Smackdown's number 1 announcer then celebrated his victory. Funaki defeats Steven Richards via pin in 3:08

Smackdown presents... The FBI VS Heidenreich and Paul Heyman for the WWE Tag Team Titles

This match started off with Heidenreich trying to take on both cops. Eventually, Heidenreich was down and out and Nunzio forced a tag to Paul Heyman. Nunzio hit a Sicilian Slice and tagged out to Johnny Stamboli. Stamboli hit the Forget About It and got the pin on Heyman. The FBI arrested Heidenreich after this match for his assault on the fans. The FBI win when Stamboli pins Heyman at 8:15.

We cut to the back where Miss Jackie has attacked Dawn Marie verbally and called her a female dog. She says that if Dawn wants her in the ring, she's got her. This segment probably has a little to do with their feud.

Smackdown presents... Dawn Marie VS Miss Jackie

This match started out with Dawn getting moves in on Jackie. They blew just about every spot, so this one was crap. Jackie took control at 2 and a half minutes and beat the crap out of Dawn. 8 minutes into the match, after it had been back and forth, Dawn went for a Low Blow, but Jackie countered into a Tough Enough slam for the win. They continue to fight after this match, going backstage. Miss Jackie defeats Dawn Marie via pin at 8:08

Josh and Bill ran down the card for Survivor Series. Nothing has changed since Smackdown.

Raw presents... Batista (with Ric Flair) VS Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental championship.

Batista started this one by taking it to Shelton. Shelton got in some offense. This match was back and forth for 15 minutes, then the ref got knocked out (as a Shelton Benjamin superkick hit the ref) and Flair got into the ring. Flair hit Shelton with the Intercontinental Championship and put Batista over him. The ref came to and counted for the pin. Batista and Flair run away, afraid to have anything else to do with Shelton Benjamin. Batista defeats Shelton Benjamin via pin at 16:32

Show quality: D-

Velocity got a 4.16 rating, enough to encourage Spike TV to move it to a prime time slot and give it 2 hours. This Velocity show was the best Velocity ever and now things are looking even better for the WWE.

Maybe Heat will be up today, but maybe it won't.

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The Wrestling News

November 10th 2004

Sunday Night Heat Results

Heat opens with its usual video package, then Coach and Todd run down the Survivor Series card. Again, nothing has changed since Smackdown.

Raw presents... Rodney Mack VS Val Venis

This match was all Val Venis throughout and ended with a Money Shot. Afterward, Val celebrated defeating Rodney Mack. Typical opener match. Val Venis defeats Rodney Mack via pin at 2:32

We cut backstage where Trish Stratus talks about how she will beat Lita tonight and defend her Womens Championship.

Raw and Smackdown present... The Hurricane VS Billy Kidman for the WWE Cruiserweight Title

The Hurricane started off hot in this match and was better for a few minutes. Kidman put up some offense. It continued to go back and forth. Then Kidman was thrown out of the ring and The Hurricane hit a plancha. The Hurricane and Kidman were both knocked out outside of the ring. They came to as the count hit 9, but neither man could pull himself into the ring. This match ended in a double count out draw at 7:15.

We cut backstage where William Regal is promoting himself on the mic, talking about what makes him a great wrestler.

Raw presents... Batista (with Ric Flair) VS Rhyno for the Intercontinental Championship.

This was a quick match in which Batista dominated. It went a few minutes then Batista hit a Batista Bomb for the victory. Batista defeats Rhyno via pin at 4:29.

We cut backstage where Chris Jericho is verbally attacking Triple H. He has talked about how Triple H has cheated to get the World Title and about how he should be the World Champion. Jericho actually makes me want to see him win the title.

Raw presents... Trish Stratus VS Lita for the Womens Championship

This match was back and forth for 30 minutes and it ended in a time limit. The fans seemed to be into this, though it was complete crap. This match ended in a time limit draw at 30:00

We cut backstage where Randy Orton hypes the match he has with "Latino Heat" Eddie Guerrero tomorrow night. He says that he will make sure that Eddie Guerrero never screws anyone out of a championship belt ever again, because he is the Legend Killer and Eddie Guerrero is a classic jobber.

Show Quality: C--

The WWE got a 5.17 rating for Sunday Night Heat. This rating was great and it encouraged Spike TV to move Heat to Prime Time.

Edited by rko pedigree
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Guest I Am Lame

I've been trying to get a plot going but first, I've got to get the titles on who I want them on and develop the entire war. I think I've probably taken Eddie VS Orton the furthest and I'm planning to drop that feud after Survivor Series. I'm hoping to get Jericho VS Triple H going soon, but it isn't going to be either man's primary feud. It will probably be until after Survivor Series before I can get everything right.

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Guest I Am Lame

I'd like to correct a few things in that review.

1.I get a position on a magazine. I just gave Vince ideas on fixing the WWE.

2.Eddie didn't join with Triple H, his heel turn was to push the feud with Randy Orton.

3.The Eric Bischoff and Evolution VS Taker match was built up in the backstory. I put Bischoff and Evolution in the role of Heidenreich. All the Survivor Series matches were announced before that. Matches have to be announced by the announcers because EWR has no good system to announce Survivor Series matches.

4.Brock isn't on Smackdown's roster and he isn't yet back onscreen. His return is planned for a Pay Per View.

5.The war has already started during the backstory.

6.Vince was forced to listen to whatever he said and comment on it. He actually considered it because he had just lost money.

7.The magazine has inside information that no one else has because of some staff members's connections.

8.The King of the Ring tournaments have a purpose that will be revealed later.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest I Am Lame

At the arena before Raw for 11/8/04

Vince McMahon is in his office with Shane and Steph. Triple H walks in.

HHH: Hi Vince, you wanted to talk to me about something.

Vince: Paul, I want to talk to you about the match tonight with Chris Jericho.

HHH: What about it? I'm going to retain my World Heavyweight Championship, right?

Vince: Well actually, we were thinking that it would be best for the WWE if you would lose the title tonight. You no longer can bring in fans as our champ.

HHH: I don't want to lose the title, but I'll go along with it if it is best for the company.

Vince: I'm glad that you see things my way.

...

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Guest I Am Lame

The Wrestling News

November 10th 2004

Monday Night Raw Results

Raw starts off with a new video package and a new theme song. We are then cut to the arena where JR and The King are talking about Survivor Series. It is announced that The Undertaker has selected Rob Van Dam, Charlie Haas and Rico for his team.

We cut backstage where Eric Bischoff announced that Smackdown's own Tag Team Champions have switched alliances to Raw.

We go back to JR and King who hype the World Tag Team Championship match between RVD and Rey Mysterio and Edge and Chris Benoit. They then hype Eddie Guerrero VS Randy Orton and then the main event, Chris Jericho VS Triple H. King then says that the best match of the night is next and that is the Battle Royale for the Womens Title featuring all 10 Raw divas.

Christy Hemme VS Gail Kim VS Ivory VS Jazz VS Lita VS Molly Holly VS Nidia VS Stacy Keibler VS Trish Stratus VS Victoria in a Womens Championship Battle Royale

I mostly ignored this match because it was crap, but I'll run it down, elimination by elimination.

Elimination 1: Gail and Molly throw Christy over the top rope. Elimination 2: Molly eliminated Stacy. Elimination 3: Victoria throws out Ivory. Elimination 4: Gail, Molly, Jazz and Trish throw Victoria out of the ring. Elimination 5: Everyone ignores Lita and Jazz throws Gail out of the ring. Elimination 6: Molly throws out Jazz. Elimination 7: Trish comes from behind and eliminates Molly. Elimination 8: Trish throws out Nidia. Elimination 9: About 30 seconds, longer than any other elimination. Trish eliminates Lita after Tyson Tomko handed her a Steel Chair and she knocked out Lita. Trish eliminates Lita after 8 other Raw divas have been eliminated to remain the Womens Champion in 3:42.

After a commercial, we come back to see the Highlight Reel set up with Chris Jericho in the ring. He invites out his guest for the night, who he refers to as the luckiest man ever to hold the World Heavyweight Title. Triple H comes out and Jericho talks about how he has had to cheat to beat everyone who he has faced for that belt. Jericho says that he is different than all of the other guys to face Triple H and that no matter what, he will leave tonight as the NEW World Heavyweight Champion. Triple H takes offense and hits him with the Championship. Jericho is on the ground at the end of this after a pedigree.

JR and King announce that Eddie Guerrero was arrested by the FBI during the Smackdown main event and he has been sentenced to spend the rest of the month under house arrest, but he can still compete.

We cut backstage where Kenzo and Rene confront the FBI about them being arrested last week. They announce that they have been acquitted of all charges and that they also confront them about their decision to leave Smackdown and join Raw. The segment ends with the 2 teams staring each other down.

Batista and Flair VS Rhyno and Shelton

This match proved to be an average tag match, with Shelton being isolated. Batista ended up pinning Rhyno. After the match, they beat down Batista and Shelton. Batista and Flair win when Batista pins Rhyno at 5:25

Chris Benoit and Edge VS Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam for the World Tag Team Championship

Benoit and Edge played a heel-like role in this match. Rey was the one isolated, but RVD got tagged in and was able to pin Edge. This match was pretty good and after it we see Edge and Benoit arguing. Rey and RVD win when RVD pins Edge at 22:12.

We cut backstage where Lita starts a catfight with Trish. Lita ends up winning it.

We cut somewhere else in the back where Kurt Angle is talking about how Chris Benoit is from Canada. He says that the true American hero does not chicken out on Smackdown, like Benoit. He says that he is superior to Benoit and that he can beat the Crippler if he has the chance.

Eddie Guerrero VS Randy Orton

This match is very even and it ends when Eddie and Orton go outside the ring and Orton hits an RKO, but he isn't able to get into the ring before a count of 10 so the match is a draw. This match ended in a Double Count Out at 26:21.

We cut backstage where The Undertaker is telling Coach that after Survivor Series Triple H and his friends can REST IN PEACE.

Triple H (with Ric Flair) VS Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship

This match was a classic battle that ended when The Undertaker came down to the ring with the ref out and Tombstoned Triple H. Jericho pinned him after the ref came to for the victory. The Undertaker then went on to continue beating down Triple H and Evolution would not show up.

Show Quality: C+

Raw got a 5.98 this week, which was lower than last week despite the 3 great main events.

We have found out that the WWE plans to take Edge heel within the next few weeks.

We apologize to the WWE for using those tag lines for our matches which promoted them as something that they were not. There was no such advertising on the show. We also apologize for printing the Eddie Guerrero was arrested information earlier in this issue. It was already at the presses before we could adjust it. That was apparently not mentioned on Smackdown and the angle has just been introduced.

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Guest I Am Lame

The Wrestling News

November 10th 2004

$1,000,000 Tough Enough Results

The show opened up with the Tough Enough video package, then cut to a segment showing the 7 contestants being trained. For those of you wondering, the arena is the Ohio Valley Wrestling arena. Each guy had to pull off a Frog Splash onto the ring. Everyone was able to pull it off.

We are shown a segment where they are talking about how they are all good in the ring. They are happy that they all got to hit the move. Trainers Tommy Dreamer and Lance Storm tell them that because of that, they will all get a written contract from the WWE. They are now all competing to earn the richest contract of all. Tommy Dreamer tells them all to get back in the ring.

Tommy Dreamer proceeds to hit them all with a Singapore Cane. He tells them that they must go through lots of pain to succeed in the WWE.

Next, a segment is shown from during the past week. They were shown going to Pizza Hut. Lance Storm told them that all of them were looking skinny, except for Burchill, so they all must eat 4 slices of pizza or more off of the lunch buffet, except for Burchill, who gets to choose how much he can eat. Burchill suggests a contest to see who can eat the most pizza. Lance Storm and Tommy Dreamer end up paying a $300 bill before they can leave. They tell the contestants that they must work off the $300 by washing dishes and making pizzas, at $7 an hour. I believe they probably prearranged this with the people at Pizza Hut.

Next, the 7 contestants get into the ring. They are told that they will wrestle amateur style matches with each other. Burchill will take on Durango Kid and El Hombre Sin Nombre, Hade Vansen takes on Lance Silva and Lazarus takes on Xtasis. The matches will be 1 round of 3 minutes long.

Match 1 (Elimination rules)

Burchill was able to make both men tap out, in a single round. El Hombre Sin Nombre was a little harder than Durango Kid for him to beat in this match. This one lasted 2:35

Match 2

Both men were unable to win in a 3 minute time limit so it is a draw. Neither Hade Vansen nore Lance Silva could win this one.

Match 3

Lazarus was able to make Xtasis tap out in 2:26.

This matches were all real, which TWN was able to confirm in an exclusive interview with Vince McMahon.

We are down to the final segment of the show. All 3 men were required to shoot a commercial for Pizza Hut.

The commercials showed that all of these men leave something to be desired on the mic. We will provide a ranking of each contestant's commercials.

1.Lance Silva

2.Lazarus

3.Durango Kid

4.Burchill

5.Hade Vansen

6.Xtasis

7.El Hombre Sin Nombre

Tough Enough ends with a segment reminding people to vote for the contest that they want eliminated.

Vote for whoever you want to see eliminated from the $1,000,000 Tough Enough. The contestants are Lance Silva, Lazarus, Durango Kid, Burchill, Hade Vansen, Xtasis and El Hombre Sin Nombre. PM me your votes or post them as replies to this topic. Whichever wrestler gets the most votes will be eliminated from the $1,000,000 Tough Enough.

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Guest I Am Lame

The Wrestling News

November 17th 2004

WWE Smackdown Results

Smackdown opens with its usual video package. We then cut to Tazz and Cole who announce to us the picks of Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle.

Benoit's team will include The Rock, Eugene Dinsmore and William Regal. Angle selected Billy Kidman, Carlito and Booker T. We hear hype about The Big Show defending his newly won WWE Championship against Kurt Angle. Eddie Guerrero will team with Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree to face Randy Orton and the FBI. They also hype The Undertaker VS Ric Flair. Tazz says that it will be a showdown of 2 of the legends of the WWE.

We cut backstage where Shawn Michaels hypes the fact that the Heart Break Kid is back, having been medically cleared to referee a match tonight. He says that Vince McMahon gave him permission to referee the match between Ric Flair and The Undertaker. Cole suggested that there might be a conflict of interest and HBK might screw The Undertaker out of that match because he is a Raw superstar.

We cut somewhere else backstage where The Undertaker is distracted by Triple H and jumped from behind by Batista and Ric Flair.

Billy Kidman VS Chavo Guerrero

After these guys come out to the ring, Theodore Long come on the titantron and makes this one for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. Billy Kidman was able to roll up Chavo and pull the ropes to leave the match with his title. He runs away really quick to avoid Chavo getting revenge. Billy Kidman won via pin at 10:36

We cut backstage where Charlie Haas gets down on his knees and asks Miss Jackie to marry him. She takes the ring, so the wedding is on, next week on Smackdown.

We now see Eddie Guerrero and Randy Orton trying to fight backstage but their friends from their brands split them apart.

John Heidenreich VS Hardcore Holly

This match ended with Heidenreich throwing Hardcore Holly over the barricade and going in the ring for a count out. Heidenreich celebrates in the ring. John Heidenreich won via count out at 3:47.

We cut backstage where Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long are arguing about which brand is better. Long then says he hopes Bischoff gets his ass kicked by The Undertaker at Survivor Series.

The Undertaker VS Ric Flair (with Batista) with Shawn Michaels as the referee

This one wasn't just an easy match for Taker or Flair, as Shawn turned out to be a fair referee. Near the end, after Taker hit a Last Ride, Batista distracted the ref, while Flair gave him a Low Blow. Taker kicked out and Tombstoned Flair for the pinfall. Taker was able to fight off both of them. For some reason, Triple H didn't show up. The Undertaker won via pinfall at 8:42.

Randy Orton and The FBI VS Eddie Guerrero, Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree

Nunzio was isolated in this match, but he tagged out to Orton who had Eddie beat, but Eddie grabbed the ropes to help him lock in and hold the El Paso Lasso. The 2 tag teams were outside the ring, brawling and didn't know what was going on, so Orton had to tap out. Eddie, Kenzo and Rene won when Eddie made Orton tap out at 30:35.

We cut backstage where Edge turns on his partner Chris Benoit.

Big Show VS Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship

This one was very even for a while. It ended with Angle beating Big Show cleanly via the Ankle Lock. After this match, Edge came down and attacked Big Show. Kurt Angle won via submission at 31:21

Show Quality: C (The in-ring action and crowd were great, but it didn't go over to TV well)

Smackdown got a 5.37 this week, a huge drop over the course of a week.

The WWE has announced that they signed Joey Styles for the job of announcer on Velocity and that Kurt Angle will be his color commentator. They also announced that Chris Jericho will be replacing Todd Grisham on Heat.

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