Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution

[stokeriño]

Heh... Just wondering... Would Ranma qualify for both male and female titles, then?

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Yes - but then, I highly doubt he'd want to go for the female titles myself.

What's that you say, the second show?!? Indeed it is. I personally think that the promo segments are better in this one than the first show...but the matches are worse, so who knows - maybe there's some universal balance that's being appeased. In any case, enjoy.

APWR UNLEASHED!

8th June 2004

Once again Ayu’s ‘Evolution’ welcomes you LIVE to the APWR Arena for this latest edition of Anime Pro Wrestling Revolution! We already have a number of great matches booked for tonight’s card:

Two more Quarter Final matches in the MWT Tournament will take place, with Shinji Ikari set to face Tenchi Masaki, and, in the main event of the evening, Ranma Saotome and Vash the Stampede will square off! Which two will join Kagato in the Semi Finals?

The first ever APWR Television champion will be crowned, with Nicholas D. Wolfwood verses Ryoko! Who will claim the honour of being the first APWR superstar to hold championship gold?

All that and much more! But first, all-female tag team action as the formidable duo of Motoko and Kaolla Su take on the crown princesses of Jurai – Ayeka and Sasami!

Ayeka and Sasami vs. Motoko and Kaolla Su

The two teams assembled in their respective corners and decided who was going to be in first.

“Don’t worry Sasami,” said Ayeka confidently, “I’LL go first.”

“Are you sure Ayeka?” Sasami asked cautiously, knowing full well of Ayeka’s tendency to allow her pride to get the better of her.

“Oh there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Ayeka chuckled, “I am a princess of the Jurai royal family after all…” Turning to face the centre of the ring, she closed her eyes as a white globe shimmered into existence around her as a protective shield. A smirk adorned her smug face. “Let’s see how well they do against the might of Jurai’s power!”

The referee walked up to her. “Turn that thing off,” he ordered, “or you’ll be disqualified.”

Ayeka frowned angrily. “Do you know who you are talking to?!”

“Oh boy…” sighed Sasami, and leant on the turnbuckle in despair.

The referee would not budge. “I know exactly who I’m talking to,” he said sternly, “someone who’s standing in my ring – and in my ring, you obey my rules. Now you have until the count of five to deactivate that thing, or you will be disqualified.”

“Why of all the impudent…!”

“One.”

“Is this how you normally treat members of royalty?”

“Two.”

“I could just blast you to pieces right where you stand, you know that?”

“Three.”

“Alright, alright – fine! I’m deactivating the force shield, happy now?”

The white globe flickered and died away. Ayeka glared at the referee. “I hope you realise,” she said slowly, “that getting on the wrong side of the Jurai royal family can have serious conseque – ”

Ayeka’s need to admonish the referee proved to be a costly mistake, as the deactivation of her shield and her subsequent distraction gave Motoko the opportunity to launch a pre-emptive attack, and get this match underway. Ayeka was more surprised than anything else, and as such found herself reeling under Motoko’s offence. Although she was also not allowed to use weapons in this match, Motoko’s skill as a fighter gave her the upper hand – despite still being only fifteen years old.

“Are you not going to fight back?” Motoko asked through gritted teeth, as she slammed Ayeka back into a neutral turnbuckle.

“Well if you’d just give me a – AAOW!!” Ayeka exclaimed in pain as Motoko delivered a fierce chop. “Hey! Watch what you’re doing with – AAOW!!”

Ignoring Ayeka’s objections, Motoko whipped her across the ring into the opposite turnbuckle, and followed up with a snapmere. Half rolling through from the snapmere, Ayeka caught herself on the ropes and tried to regain her balance. “I’m not cut out for this kind of physical activity…” she groaned. Looking over to Sasami standing in her corner, she smiled sweetly. “Sasami…” she said, “would you be a dear and take over for just a moment? I need to gather my bearings.”

Sasami looked very reluctant. “Alright Ayeka,” she eventually agreed, and tagged herself in.

Meanwhile Motoko was being pestered by Su. “Motoko,” she sung happily, “can I have a go now?” She hopped and clambered all over the turnbuckle. “Pleeeaase?” She reached out to grab at Motoko.

“Yes fine, but – OW – as long as you stop pulling my hair!” Motoko sighed and made the official tag out to Su.

“Wheee!” Su jumped over the ropes…and onto Motoko’s back. “Heya Motoko,” she grinned.

“You can’t do anything if you don’t get off me, you know.” Motoko tried hard to tug Su off of her, but was unable to do so.

“Heheh,” Su giggled, and finally got off by herself. Skipping across the ring, she came face to face with Sasami, who was looking a little uneasy.

“Hey,” Su beamed, waving hello. “I’m Su. What’s your name?”

“Oh,” Sasami brightened up. “My name’s Sasami, nice to meet you!”

Su giggled. “Want to be friends?”

“Really?” Sasami’s smile broadened. “Oh that would be great…!”

“SASAMI!!” came the yell from the corner, “are you going to stand there and exchange pleasantries or are you going to win this thing?!”

“Come on Su,” came the voice from the opposite corner, “now’s the time to press the advantage!!”

Sasami let out a sigh. “Well,” she said to Su, “I guess this could be fun – kind of like playing.”

“That’s right!” Su’s eyes widened. “Let’s play!”

“Well what should we – erk!” Sasami was unable to finish her sentence, because Su had leapt up and wrapped her legs around her neck.

“Heheh!” Su laughed merrily, “This is fun!” She took Sasami down with a Hurricanrana. She then continued with more high flying offence, giggling and skipping as she went. Delivering a Headscissors Takedown, she pinned Sasami but was only able to get the 2 count.

From her position in the corner, Ayeka watched Su with growing irritation. “That maniac of a girl needs to learn how to behave,” she muttered to herself. “Oh Sasami,” she called out, “I think I’m ready to tag back in now!” Hearing this, Sasami came over towards her – relieved at being able to get out. However just as they were about to tag, Ayeka noticed Su tagging in Motoko on the other side.

“You know what Sasami…” said Ayeka, withdrawing her hand, “…I think you’d better stay in for a little while longer. I think I sprained my ankle or something.”

Sasami frowned crossly, “Ayeka…” she began, but Motoko attacked her from behind. The raven-haired kendo master battered Sasami relentlessly, utilising her extensive knowledge of the martial arts.

Motoko looked to finish it, but was once again jumped on from behind by Su. “Wow, you’re really good Motoko,” said Su, hanging herself around Motoko’s neck. “Will you teach me how to do that?”

“If you want to tag, then you can tag!” Motoko snapped. “But don’t climb on me when I’m in the match!”

While they were bickering between themselves, Sasami slowly got to her feet and limped over to Ayeka. “Ayeka…” she sniffed.

“Did you say something Sasami?” Ayeka said coyly, looking in another direction. “I didn’t quite catch that…” She turned to look at Sasami and stopped mid-sentence as she saw the tears welling up in Sasami’s eyes.

“Ayeka…” Sasami whimpered again, and tried to hold back from crying. She failed.

Ayeka’s expression softened. “Oh Sasami…” She held out her arms to her little sister and embraced her in a hug. “Don’t you worry about a thing. Your big sister’s going to take care of everything.” She looked down at Sasami, who sniffed and nodded, before exiting the ring.

“Right,” said Ayeka, climbing back into the ring, “now all I have to do is – “

“HI–YAH!!” Ayeka was caught right in the side of the face with a flying karate kick from Su, who had now tagged in. The lights went out in her eyes, and Ayeka fell straight backwards onto the mat. Su giggled, and sat on Ayeka’s stomach.

“I like you,” said Su happily, “you’re funny.” This was of little concern to Ayeka, partially because she wasn’t really conscious enough to hear it, but also because having Su sit on her gave the referee the opportunity to count the fall, and to give Su and Motoko the win.

WINNERS: Motoko and Kaolla Su, by pinfall (clean)

As the ring announcer read out, “The winners of this match – Motoko Aoyama and Kaolla Su!” Su jumped up and pranced joyfully about the ring.

“Yay! We won, we won!” She jumped on Motoko’s back yet again. “We won Motoko!”

“Yes we did…but does that mean you might get off of me?”

Su grinned. “Let’s play again!”

“Not for a while yet…” said Motoko, dragging Su away from the ring. Meanwhile, Sasami helped her dazed older sister to her feet, and together they slowly made their way to the back.

Today’s Experiment…probably failed

“This promotion…is corrupt!”

Lord Ilpalazzo, Grand Ruler of the secret ideological organisation known as ACROSS, stood up from his throne and thrust his arms out in a grand, sweeping gesture. “It is the embodiment of all the decrepit filth that these ignorant masses hold dear. Spurred on by their primal urges as they shout and cheer from the sidelines, in this promotion they find their lowly haven.”

“However these undesirable circumstances have only come to pass because of corrupt manipulation from within. This promotion, much like the entire world, is capable of becoming an upstanding and much more pleasant organisation if only it were to be run according to the example of ACROSS. Therefore our only option is to seek to conquer this promotion for the good all mankind. Now,” he said, his eyes narrowing, “what course of action would best achieve this goal?”

“HAAAIIL ILPALAZZO!!” Excel saluted enthusiastically before snapping her arm back down to her side. “I would suggest a bold, offensive strategy! We can kidnap the leaders of this promotion and torture them with spikes and knives and burning and corkscrews and alarm clocks that won’t stop ringing no matter how many times you hit them until finally they give in and surrender the promotion so that you can be appointed Supreme Ruler in a glorious celebration of your victory! And then Excel can serve you Lord Ilpalazzo in keeping troublemakers in line or whatever way you see fit! And if there are any real problems then I can use this rocket propeller thingy,”…Excel pulled a large rocket launcher out of nowhere…”to obliterate them!! Am I right?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Ilpalazzo, and pulled the cord.

*CHNK*

“Waagh!” A trapdoor opened up beneath Excel’s feet, causing both her and the oversized rocket launcher to plummet down untold depths into The Pit. “Ahh!!” Excel yelled out from down below. “Elks! Reindeer! Assorted Scandinavian creatures! WAAGGH!!” she yelled louder in a cry of unbridled fear and horror, “MOOMINS!!”

“And what about you,” continued Ilpalazzo, ignoring Excel completely, “Agent Hyatt?”

“Um,” Hyatt thought about it. “Could it be that we must enter the system ourselves in order to bring it down from within?”

“That is exactly right my ever so brilliant Agent Hyatt.” Ilpalazzo smiled contently with Hyatt’s answer. “In order to mould this promotion to the will of ACROSS we must be able to shape it using its existing infrastructure.” He resumed his more official tone. “And that brings us to today’s mission.”

Excel, somehow, suddenly leapt up out of The Pit with rocket launcher still in hand. “Yes sir! Excel is ready for today’s plan of action!” She noticed a small, pale, hippo-like creature crawling towards her from out of The Pit. “DIE DAMN YOU!!” she yelled, pulling the trigger on the rocket launcher and scattering the Moomin over a wide area. The shockwave from the explosion caused a sizeable amount of dust to fall from the ceiling.

“In any case,” Ilpalazzo coughed, moving swiftly on, “for today’s mission your goal is to earn a place in the final for the Woman’s World Title. Holding this title would place one of the most important positions in the promotion firmly in the hands of ACROSS. To this end you will participate in and win the Four Corners Elimination match that will be taking place later this evening.”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Excel waved her arm high in the air to ask a question. “Which one of us have you chosen to participate, O Great and Illustrious Lord Ilpalazzo?”

“Both of you.”

“Wha?!”

“It is more effective if we concentrate the resources of ACROSS to specific aims,” he explained, “therefore both of you will take part in the match. Holding two out of four as opposed to one out of four makes it more likely that we shall succeed in our goals, don’t you agree?”

“Oh, most definitely Lord Ilpalazzo sir!” Excel bowed repeatedly. “Excel is sorry for having ever doubted your inspired judgement! She deeply regrets it from the very bottom of her heart!”

“As deeply as this?”

*CHNK*

“Waaaagh…!!”

This seemed as good a point as any to go to a commercial break…

Chains of Command

“What the hell is the meaning of this?!”

“Watch your language Major Katsuragi.”

Misato shot an angry glance in Fuyutsuki’s direction, and then turned back to continue glaring furiously at Gendo Ikari, who was seated behind his desk with his usual steepled fingers. “What could you possibly be thinking, entering Shinji into the Tournament?! And without his consent or even prior – “

“As Commissioner of this promotion it is my prerogative to enter whomever I please,” said Gendo, cutting her off.

“But he’s not ready for something like this!” Misato clenched and unclenched her fists unconsciously, as if she wanted to slam them onto the desk but was standing too far away to do so. “He doesn’t have any hand-to-hand combat training…and his mental state…he isn’t…he wouldn’t…” She took a deep breath and exhaled, taking on a more controlled and official tone. “As his officially sanctioned guardian I am within my rights and duties to withdraw him from the tournament for the sake of his own well being!”

“I’m afraid that such an action would be unacceptable,” Gendo replied. “And need I remind you that you are his guardian only because it is MY wish, and as such you will abide to the chain of command. Is that understood…Major?”

Misato opened her mouth to respond, but only closed it again. Biting her lower lip, she looked down at the floor. “Yes Commander,” she said begrudgingly.

“The match will go ahead as scheduled,” Gendo continued. “Perhaps if you are concerned you should accompany him to ringside.”

“…Yes Commander.”

“Dismissed, Major.”

Misato gave a resentful salute, before turning and marching out of the room. The door slammed shut behind her.

There was a short silence.

“She could become quite a handful,” said Fuyutsuki quietly.

“Undue emotional attachment to one’s work can often have unwelcome side-effects,” replied Gendo.

“Still, it was only to be expected.”

“Indeed.”

Excel vs. Hyatt vs. Kagome vs. Naru – Four Corners Elimination Match

The winner will earn a place in the match for the Woman’s World Title

We returned to the ring for our second match of the evening, as four women were set to fight it out to book themselves a place in the final for the Woman’s World Title. Kagome was already in the ring at this point, and Naru was making her way down the ramp to the tune of ‘Sakura Saku’, waving to the crowd and trying to ignore a “Naru makes me want to sex children” sign as she went. She and Kagome gave each other unfriendly glares as they stood side by side and awaited the other competitors.

‘Ai (Chuu Seishin)’ erupted and ACROSS agents Excel and Hyatt made their entrance together. After entering the ring, Excel pulled Hyatt aside for a quick word.

“Now remember Hatchan,” said Excel with a conspiratorial tone, “we both have to work our hardest to make sure that we win this match for Lord Ilpalazzo! Yes! We must use our strength, stamina, skill and cunning – but most of all we must use our advantage of numbers! Two is more than one and possibly even more than one plus one even though my calculator says otherwise, for as long as the two and ones do not turn out to be threes, fours, or even secretly a five then the twos shall always pick on the ones for being skinny and uninteresting, and this will lead them to the inevitable conclusion of victory! I’m not sure whether that’s proper maths or not and I don’t really understand what I just said but then it doesn’t really matter to me because I’m such a big idiot.”

Excel turned away from Hyatt and thrust a confident fist in the air. “Joined arm in arm in the face of battle, the mighty legions of ACROSS will never succumb to the forces of the ignorant masses! And so we must take the ever important first step, even though I’ve already taken several steps already just to get here, but this is the first step that counts! With this step we shall march boldly forth towards the conquest of this promotion for the glory of ACROSS! Hatchan! Are you with me?!”

“…2…3, ring the bell.”

Excel snapped round to see Hyatt flat on her back and being pinned by Naru. The referee signalled to the ring announcer, who proclaimed:

“Ladies and gentlemen, the first competitor to be eliminated – Hyatt Ayasugi!”

Excel gawped. “No waaaaay!!”

ELIMINATION #1 = Hyatt

Excel raced over and knelt down next to Hyatt. “What the hell just happened?!”

Hyatt looked up at her, a small trail of blood trickling from her lower lip. “Oh, I’m sorry senior,” she said, “I think I might have slipped and bit my tongue.”

“Why must you always die from such negligible injuries at such inappropriate times Hatchan?!”

“I really do not understand myself senior,” Hyatt mumbled. “Perhaps there was an ill-fated wind this morning...”

“You’re the only person I’ve ever met that could die from a gust of wind!” Excel sighed and stood back up, once again striking a pose of bravery and determination. “However despite these incessant and bewildering series of unexplained setbacks I will not allow them to hinder the grand designs of ACROSS! Yah! YAH!!”

Naru looked over to where Excel was ranting to herself. “What on earth is that girl up to?” she muttered. However she was suddenly forced to snap back to the matter at hand as a punch from Kagome narrowly missed her, glancing off her right cheek.

Kagome fumed. “Stay STILL, damn you!” She threw another shot, this time striking Naru on the left side of her jaw.

Naru rubbed her jaw. “Hey,” she said, dodging the rest of Kagome’s punches, “watch what you’re doing!”

“You ought to take me more seriously!” Kagome growled, and swung round with a kick that hit Naru square in the chest. The impact knocked Naru back several feet and down onto one knee, where she sat clutching her hand against her sternum. She painfully looked up and just managed to see and dodge a follow up kick by rolling away to the side.

Kagome smirked. “You won’t get away from me that easily,” she said, and launched herself at Naru again.

“Why…” panted Naru, barely dodging her attacks, “…do you…feel…the need to…talk all…the damn time?”

“And why shouldn’t I?”

“Because…” said Naru, getting back to her feet, “it really makes you come across like a spoilt brat…”

“SPOILT?!” Kagome exclaimed in outrage, “I’ll have you know that where I come from I have to spend most nights sleeping out in the wilderness, and I have to wash without shampoo, and I even barely ever get to eat oden!!”

“Yeah…” said Naru, rolling her eyes, “…definitely spoilt.”

Kagome seethed. “You…you BITCH!” She leapt at Naru, but was suddenly caught from the side.

“HYAAHH!” Excel exclaimed, slamming herself into Kagome and sending her flying. “Excel will take the initiative! In a match of elimination one must always choose one opponent to exterminate before moving on to the next! And therefore Excel will now concentrate all her efforts on…” she struck out a finger at Naru, “…THAT girl!”

Naru looked perplexed at the strange behaviour of this crazy girl standing in front of her, not quite sure what to say.

“Now, prepare to meet your fate at the hands of the one and only Excel!” Excel charged at Naru. “I’m doing it Lord Ilpalazzo!” Excel thought proudly as she ran, “I’m exercising your will for the good of ACROSS! I won’t let you down Lord Ilpalazzo, I swear I won’t!”

”You know…”

“Eh?” Excel stopped, and blinked upon realising that Naru wasn’t where she had been just a moment ago.

“…You really should try to keep your mind focused on your opponent.”

THWACK!

Naru reeled back and delivered the NARU PUNCH~! This astoundingly strong uppercut sent Excel flying high up into the air, almost out of sight.

Naru watched Excel fly higher and higher, but she then noticed Kagome getting back up on the other side of the ring, and focused on her instead.

“That was a cheap shot…” said Kagome, “but now I really am going to finish you!”

Naru edged backwards as Kagome advanced on her, ready to strike. In the distance, you could have a faint whistling sound, and it was getting louder…

CRUNCH!! Excel came falling down at an incredible velocity and landed right on top of Kagome! As the dust cleared from the impact, we saw the two of them lying motionless in the middle of the ring, with Excel lying face down on top of Kagome. The referee made the count! 1…2…3 – Kagome was eliminated!

ELIMINATION #2 = Kagome

Naru looked nervously over at them, and slowly made her way over. “Uh,” she said, “are you two okay?” She prodded Excel, and rolled her onto her back, but could see that nobody was at home…if anyone ever was in Excel’s brain anyway. After looking shocked for a moment, Naru shrugged and made the cover over Excel’s unconscious body – 1…2…3! Naru won the match!

ELIMINATION #3 = Excel

WINNER: Naru Narusegawa, by pinfall (clean)

Naru earns the right to fight for the vacant Women’s World Title at the upcoming PPV.

The referee raised Naru’s hand in victory, and she looked really happy with her success. Beaming with pride, she exited the ring while officials attended to the horribly bruised bodies of Excel and Kagome, and we went to a commercial break…

Congratulations on your victory

After the break we returned to see Naru walking along backstage. With a smile on her face and a spring in her step, her win obviously had her in a good mood.

Then, she froze. A chill ran up her spine as if a threatening presence had suddenly surrounded her, a suffocating blanket on her soul. Her throat felt restricted, despite not being physically so, making it harder to breathe. She gasped, unable to figure out what was happening to her or where this ominous presence was coming from.

“Congratulations.”

Naru spun round in shock. The voice hadn’t been spoken; she’d just heard it inside her head. “W-what?” she said out loud.

“On your victory.”

Naru turned sharply towards the direction of the voice, this time definitely not from inside her head, to see a man standing in one of the side passages to the main corridor. Half concealed by shadow, he leant with his arms folded against the wall. His face was concealed both through darkness and behind his pale, dark blue hair. From his right shoulder protruded a number of large metal spikes. She was positive that he hadn’t been there just a moment ago.

Naru glared at him. She could tell immediately that he was the source of the dark presence. “Who are you?!” she demanded.

“Forgive me.” The man stood up from against the wall and walked towards her, emerging into the light. Naru gasped as she caught sight of the cracked and disfigured skull that hung from his left shoulder. He smiled the thinnest of smiles, probably from seeing her reaction, and held out his right hand. “Legato,” he said. “Legato Bluesummers.”

Naru only continued to stare at him, her expression a mixture of confusion and anger. As she did not return his handshake, Legato withdrew his hand. “I find you…quite interesting,” he said.

Naru scowled. She’d figured it out now. “What, so you’re just another pervert looking to letch after seventeen year old girls?” she said, before muttering to herself, “I get enough of that at home.”

Legato laughed. “You misunderstand,” he said. “My interest in you is of a much different nature.”

“Yeah right creep!” Naru clenched her fists. “Stay the hell away from me loser!!” She reeled back and swung round with her classic Naru-punch, guaranteed to send all and any male lowlifes spiralling off into the horizon.

A moment later, she sensed that something wasn’t right. Her eyes were closed from the exertion that she’d put into the punch. Slowly, she opened one of them.

Legato stood there in front of her, and in his left palm was…her fist. He’d caught her in mid-punch.

“You’re fun,” he chuckled, and patted her condescendingly on the head. Releasing her fist from his hand, he turned and walked away down the corridor. Naru stood there, numb, as she watched him leave.

Reaching the far end of the corridor, he stopped, and again Naru heard the voice inside her head. “We’ll play again soon.” He then walked off, out of sight.

Naru stared after him. The suffocating presence was lifted, but it left her feeling physically shaken. She slowly looked down at her own fist, still clenched from when Legato had blocked her punch.

Just then, Keitaro rounded the corner behind her. “Narusegawa!” he exclaimed happily, running up to her. “Congratulations on your victory Naru!”

As he reached out to touch her arm, Naru reacted violently. “Get away from me!” she yelled, lashing her arm out at him.

Keitaro looked shocked, and so did Naru. She blinked, startled by her own reaction. She opened her mouth to say something, but instead just turned and ran.

“Naru!” Keitaro called after her, but she was already gone. He scratched the back of his head in confusion. “What did I do this time…?”

He believes in you

In a locker room backstage, we saw Shinji Ikari sitting on one of the wooden benches, lost in thought as he stared blankly through the floor between his feet. On the other side of the room, fellow pilot Rei Ayanami also sat in silence as she slowly ate her way through a plain bread roll.

A short while later, the silence was shattered…by the usual culprit.

“Man!” Asuka burst through the door, wiping her hand across her forehead and then back through her hair. “The temperature in this place really sucks! They should install some A/C or something; otherwise I’m going to end up cooked like a baked potato!”

Now that she actually looked around the room for the first time, she saw Shinji and Rei just sitting there in silence. It wasn’t very friendly of them, but also – more importantly – neither of them was responding to her complaint.

“Well?!” Asuka yelled. “Doesn’t anyone else here think it’s too hot?!”

“Its fine,” said Rei, without turning to look at her.

Asuka twitched. “Oh well, obviously Wonder Girl doesn’t feel the heat…” She walked over to Rei and looked her in the face. “She’s too perfect to be affected by such trifling worries, isn’t that right?”

Rei’s expression remained as blank as ever. “The temperature is amiable,” she said.

Asuka grumbled out of frustration, and left Rei to herself. Walking over to stand in front of Shinji, she placed her hands on her hips and eyed him suspiciously. “And what about you, Third Child? You’re being very quiet about this.”

Shinji, who had been too busy with his own thoughts to notice any of it, blinked. “Huh?” He looked up. “Did you say something?”

Asuka scowled. “Oh sure, I get it. Now that you’re in the World Title tournament, you think that you’re better than everyone else!”

“What? No, I…”

“Look!” Asuka snapped angrily. “Just because I didn’t get into the Television Title match, doesn’t mean that you can just ignore me! Sure, not all of us can compare to ‘The Invincible Shinji’, but that’s no excuse for you to act all superior!”

“But I’m not acting all superior…” Shinji fidgeted uncomfortably under Asuka’s glare. “And I don’t even want the stupid World Title…”

Asuka looked puzzled for a moment, but then scoffed. “Oh yeah, I forgot, even the World Title’s below the Almighty Third Child. It sickens me how you can just sit there acting all smug, while the rest of us actually have to work to accomplish things! Like it or not the world doesn’t revolve around you Shinji, so you’d better learn to live with it!”

She stared at him right in the eye, daring him to respond, but Shinji was at a loss for words. Instead he just averted eye contact and looked back down at the floor. Asuka drew back, a disgusted look on her face.

“God, I HATE egotistical jerks like you!” she yelled. “Fine, go ahead and win the World Title. See if I care!” She stormed off and opened the door. “Jerkface!” she added, slamming the door shut behind her.

Shinji kept staring at the floor as the room returned to silence. Asuka’s rant had only left him feeling even sorrier for himself. “Why does she have to get so mad?” he quietly wondered out loud. “I don’t want a title. I don’t want to be in any tournament…” He clenched his right hand into a fist. “I’m only doing this because my father’s forcing me to!” His voice rose in volume as he became angrier. “It’s all his fault! He walked out on me before, so why can’t he just leave me alone?!”

“Perhaps…”

“Huh?” Shinji looked up and over towards Rei, who had just spoken. She continued to stare in the direction that she was sitting, and did not turn to look at him.

“Perhaps…he believes in you.”

Shinji stared at her, unsure at how to react. He wouldn’t have to, however, as at that moment Misato entered the room.

“Alright Shinji, it’s time.” She placed her hand warmly on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this.” She reached round and hugged him, her expression one of grim determination. “I promise.”

Being released from the hug, Shinji slowly stood to his feet, and together he and Misato left the room. Just before passing through the door he turned and took one last look at Rei, and then headed towards the ring.

Shinji Ikari (with Misato) vs. Tenchi Masaki

Men’s World Title Tournament Quarter Final

APWR Rules Match

The first competitor out to the ring, to the tune of ‘The Ballad of Ryo-Ohki’, was Tenchi Masaki. He had somehow managed to convince Ryoko, Ayeka, Mihoshi, Sasami, Kiyone, AND Washu that he didn’t need to have anybody at ringside with him tonight. Well, he only really had difficulty with Ryoko and Ayeka, but Ayeka was still too beat up after her match anyway, and he had reminded Ryoko of the importance of her match later on. He exhaled gladly. That should make things a lot more straight forward.

Next, Shinji Ikari emerged through the curtain accompanied by Misato, to the music ‘I, Shinji’. They walked down the ramp in silence. Misato glanced at Shinji’s expression out of the corner of her eye. His eyes had a sort of lifeless quality to them. She grimaced inside. He didn’t want to be there, but he was going to go through with it because he’d been told to do so. Knowing this only made Misato’s heart sink lower than it already was, although there was still the small flame of anger burning inside of her towards Commander Ikari for causing this in the first place...

As they reached the ring, Shinji looked up at her. She nodded, and he climbed the steps and entered the ring, with her coming in just behind him.

As Shinji took a moment to look out at all the people in the crowd, Tenchi walked over to him and smiled warmly. “Hi,” he said, offering his hand, “I’m Tenchi.”

“S…Shinji Ikari,” mumbled Shinji, nervously returning the handshake.

Tenchi frowned in thought, but then his expression changed to one of kindness and understanding. “You don’t want to do this, do you?”

Shinji tried to respond, but ended up looking down at his feet. “Well, I…I guess I have to. I mean, they told me – “

“Don’t worry about it,” Tenchi interrupted. “If you don’t want to do it, I’ll call the match off.”

Shinji looked up at him. “Huh?”

“Have it go down as a double disqualification.”

“You…you’d really do that?”

”Of course!”

“But…but you’ll lose your chance to win!”

“I don’t want to force someone to fight who doesn’t want to,” Tenchi smiled. “I’m okay with it, really.”

Shinji looked at him in silence for a moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but just as he did so the video wall flickered to life.

“I’m afraid that would be unacceptable,” Gendo Ikari said sternly, broadcasting from inside his office. “This match was scheduled to take place and it will do so now.”

“Hey, we can both forfeit the match if we want to!” said Tenchi.

“If you do you will both be suspended indefinitely and without pay,” Gendo replied. “Although it is currently the summer I imagine that it would still be a rather undesirable experience to be sleeping on the streets at night.”

“Now wait a minute!” Misato shouted angrily at the video wall. “You couldn’t possibly think of doing that! Not to children! Not to your own son!”

“The match will begin immediately,” said Gendo. “I look forward to its conclusion.” With that, his image disappeared from the video wall and the time keeper rang the bell to officially set the match underway.

Misato gritted her teeth and turned back to Shinji, who was staring intently at the now blank video wall.

“Father…” Shinji murmured.

“Shinji,” said Misato, gently pulling him towards her by the shoulders, “Look at me.” He continued to look at the floor, but she continued anyway. “I know that this is a bad situation, but unfortunately that’s how it is and we must accept it. We may not like it but sometimes we all have to do things that we don’t want to do. I’ll be here to support you, so make sure you give it your all.” She gave him one last hug. “I’m counting on you.”

Shinji said nothing in response, but gave the slightest of nods. Despite what Misato might think, it wasn’t the prospect of the match that was bothering him the most. It was his confusion about his father’s motives. Just why was he doing this…?

He closed his eyes and inhaled.

I mustn’t run away…

Turning around to face the centre of the ring, he opened his eyes again, only to see a wooden sword being held out in front of his face.

“Here,” said Tenchi, holding a second sword over his shoulder. “Take it.”

“What…?” Shinji blinked, “But why?”

“It wouldn’t really be fair if I was the only one with a sword now would it?”

“But I’ve never used a sword before…”

“You’ll pick it up, trust me.” Tenchi smiled. “Go on!”

Reluctantly, Shinji took the wooden sword, and grasped it uneasily with both hands.

“Come on,” said Tenchi, holding up his own sword, “have a shot.”

Looking at Tenchi uneasily, Shinji then looked at the sword in his own hands. Grimacing in resolve, he let out a yell and swung. Tenchi blocked the attack with his own sword, but Tenchi kept coming. He attacked and attacked, each time Tenchi blocking his swing with his own sword.

“There you go,” said Tenchi encouragingly, “now you’re getting it. Come on!”

Misato watched all of this from outside the ring, and frowned. This wasn’t right – she could tell that the other guy was better than this, a LOT better. He was holding back on Shinji, but she couldn’t fully understand why. “Hang in there Shinji!” she yelled. “Press the advantage!”

Shinji pulled his sword back further than usual, and came back with a huge swing aimed at the side of Tenchi’s head. In the blink of an eye, Tenchi dodged to the side of the swing and brought his own sword up, knocking Shinji’s sword out of his hands. Shinji stumbled backwards from the force of the blow, and froze as he found Tenchi’s sword pointing at his neck.

Tenchi held his sword there for a moment, before lowering it. “Good!” he smiled, “but you left your right side open. You’ve got to be careful to watch for the counterattack.”

Suddenly, Shinji leapt up and tackled Tenchi to the ground. This caught Tenchi by surprise and his own sword was knocked away. Shinji then started pounding on Tenchi with a flurry of fists, turning this match into a brawl.

Tenchi was reeling from the attack, as Shinji continued to beat away at him. All he could do was shield himself from the full blow of the attacks. For the first time Tenchi realised that he might actually lose this thing. He kicked Shinji away and got back to his feet. Shinji charged at him again, but Tenchi used his greater strength to pick him up and throw him back onto the mat. Shinji kept getting back up, but now that the element of surprise had been lost he was finding his outmatched by his older, stronger opponent. After one particularly painful powerslam, Shinji rolled out of the ring. Stumbling back to his feet, rather than climbing back into the ring he started walking towards the ramp.

“Shinji!” Misato chased after him and grabbed his wrist. “What are you doing?!”

“It’s over,” said Shinji. “It’s pointless, I can’t beat this guy.” He tried to tug himself free of Misato’s grip.

“So you’re just going to run away, is that it?”

Shinji stopped tugging. He looked like he didn’t know what he wanted to do.

“Go back to the ring,” said Misato, clasping both of his hands in hers. When she let go, there was something else in Shinji’s left hand. “I believe in you.”

Shinji looked a little puzzled, but reluctantly made his way back down the ramp and climbed back into the ring, where Tenchi was standing there waiting. Shinji’s eyes widened in fear as he saw Tenchi held both swords in his hands.

However instead of attacking, Tenchi handed one of the swords back to Shinji. “It wouldn’t be fair if I was the only one with a sword, would it?” he laughed.

Shinji blinked, but reached out and took the sword in his right hand anyway. This time, Tenchi took the offensive, and it was obvious that he wasn’t holding back like before. He immediately had Shinji on the back foot, and in mere moments he had knocked Shinji backwards onto the mat. Lifting his sword up high, Tenchi swung down. Shinji closed his eyes and yelled.

THUK

Tenchi stopped.

Dropping his sword, he slowly fell over sideways, landing in a heap on the mat.

Still with his eyes tightly shut, Shinji’s left arm was outstretched, still frozen in position…his left fist adorned with brass knuckles that had been handed to him by Misato.

Slowly opening his eyes, Shinji looked over at Tenchi in mild shock. Looking at his brass knuckles, and at Tenchi again, he dropped the knucks and scrambled over to drape an arm over Tenchi’s dazed body. The referee counted the fall – 1…2…3! In what had to be a major upset, Shinji Ikari defeated Tenchi Masaki to advance to the next stage of the tournament!

WINNER: Shinji Ikari, by pinfall (clean)

Shinji Ikari advances to the Semi Finals

Misato eagerly clambered into the ring and picked Shinji up for a hug. “You did it Shinji!” she exclaimed excitedly, and held up his hand in victory. While they were celebrating, they suddenly turned to see Tenchi standing behind them, holding his head.

There was an uncomfortably tense moment…but then, Tenchi started to laugh.

“I guess I left my right side open that time,” he said, “I’ll have to remember that one.”

He held out his hand to Shinji, who smiled, and accepted the handshake. Tenchi then joined in applauding Shinji’s victory, as he and Misato exited the ring and walked back up the ramp.

“Misato?”

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering…why exactly do you even own brass knuckles?”

“It’s probably best that you didn’t know.”

A Difference of Recollection

We were backstage for an interview with one of the competitors for the Television Title tonight, the former space pirate Ryoko.

“Ryoko, shortly you will step into the ring with Nicholas D. Wolfwood with the chance of becoming the first ever APWR Television champion. What are your thoughts entering this match?”

Ryoko sighed happily. “Well you know, I’m just so happy to get this opportunity. You see, all my life I’ve dreamed of being a champion – someone that people will look up to, someone they’ll admire and respect, but most of all I want to do it for…little Keriko.”

“Uh…little Keriko?”

“Yes,” Ryoko placed her hand on her heart and a nostalgic smile spread across her face. “It was a long time ago, back when I was just a child…”

…Flashback Sequence…

We fade into a flashback sequence, set in a cobbled street in the poor neighbourhood of a city. A young girl resembling Ryoko and another young girl walked down the street hand-in-hand, smiling merrily.

“We were the best of friends,” continued the Ryoko voiceover, “And we always watched out for each other. Back then I couldn’t imagine not spending every day with little Keriko…”

In the flashback, Keriko looked into the distance. A huge smile spreading across her face, she ran ahead.

“Hey Keriko,” Ryoko called, “Wait for me!” She ran to catch up with Keriko, and they stopped next to a large poster. “What’s this?” Ryoko asked.

Keriko grinned excitedly. “Look! It’s a poster about a dancing competition!” she exclaimed. “The kid who does the best dance gets a prize and is made the Young Dancing Champion of the whole region!”

“Wow!” Ryoko gazed at the poster in awe. “Hey, you’re a pretty good dancer Keriko!”

Keriko nodded. “Yeah, back when my mom was alive she’d teach me, and we’d practise every day!” She struck a determined pose. “I just know that if I try hard enough I can win!” She gazed dreamily out into space. “I always told my mom, I told her that ‘One day, I’ll be a champion, and then I’ll make you proud momma! I know I can make you proud!’”

Ryoko nodded eagerly as she listened to her. “Alright!” she said, “You’re going to enter that competition, and you’re going to win it! And I’m going to help you!”

Keriko looked up at Ryoko with teary eyes. “Oh thank you, thank you so very much Ryoko!”

“We practiced non-stop for weeks,” came in the voiceover, accompanied by still shots of them doing so. “We’d be dancing late into the night until we’d fall asleep right there on the floor, but it’d be worth it because Keriko was going to realise her dream, and make her poor momma proud of her. But then, when the big day came…”

Returning to the flashback, we saw a poster saying “Young Dancers Competition – Today, at the Royal Palace”. Ryoko and Keriko looked up at it happily.

They looked at each other. “I just know I’m going to do it!” said Keriko.

Ryoko nodded, and they walked up to the front gate of the palace where various other children were also making their way in. However, when they got there, their path was suddenly blocked by two large guards and a small girl with purple hair.

“And just WHERE do you two think you’re going?!” screeched the young Princess Ayeka.

“We’re…um,” said Ryoko meekly, “we’re…going to enter the dancing competition.”

“Oh you are, are you?” Ayeka signalled to the two guards, who in turn grabbed the two little girls’ arms.

“Hey!” Keriko yelled out in surprise. “What are you doing?!”

“This competition is being sponsored by the Royal House of Jurai,” Ayeka said. “Lower class ruffians like YOU aren’t allowed to take part in it. This competition is reserved for girls with grace and dignity…like me!”

“You’ve got to let us in!” Ryoko cried. “We’ve been practising for weeks and weeks, and all Keriko’s ever wanted in the world is to be a dancing champion, and make her momma proud!”

“Ahahahahahahaa!” Ayeka cackled. “Well that’s too bad! I’m going to win this competition, and you two are going to be thrown back into the gutter where you belong! Guards, dispose of them!”

“Noooo!” Keriko screamed, and managed to break free of the guards. She ran towards the entrance. “I’ve got to get in, I’ve just got to!”

“Seize her!” yelled Ayeka. Suddenly more guards appeared and surrounded Keriko, tying her up. “Defying royal authority eh? Throw her in the dungeon!”

“Ryoko!” called out Keriko as she was bundled away.

“Keriko!” yelled back Ryoko, tears welling up in her eyes. Suddenly she was picked up and thrown out onto the hard cobbled street, an iron portcullis slamming down behind her. Scrambling back up, Ryoko ran back up to the entrance and banged on the metal bars, before letting out one more heart-wrenching, “KERIKO!!!”

…And returning to the present…

“…And that was the last time *sniff* that I ever saw little Keriko again,” said Ryoko, sobbing into a handkerchief. “From that day, I’ve promised that no matter what, I will help release her dream, and dedicate my championship victory to poor little Keriko…”

“THAT’S A LOAD OF BULL!”

Ryoko turned around to see Ayeka fuming behind her.

“How dare you make up such…such slander?!” Ayeka yelled.

Ryoko sniffed. “Well, I’m sorry that you couldn’t be touched by poor little Keriko’s tale of woe…”

“THERE IS NO KERIKO!” Ayeka snapped. “That never happened! It’s all just one great big LIE Ryoko, and you know it!”

“Oh is that so?”

“Yes it IS so!” Ayeka snapped back. “What REALLY happened was…”

…Another flashback. Must these two do this every time?

“…I was entering a Young Dancers’ Competition,” said the Ayeka voiceover, “and I’d made it through to the big final. I was backstage sorting out my costume when…”

We saw a young Ayeka all dressed up in a ballerina-type costume, except for her shoes which sat on a nearby chair. She was just putting a flower in her hair when suddenly a young Ryoko (though still bigger than Ayeka) turned up.

“Hey there little girl,” sneered Ryoko. “Getting ready to do some dancing, I see.”

“Uh, yeah,” replied Ayeka meekly, “I’m in the finals of the competition, and if I win, I get to be the Young Dancers’ Champion.”

“Champion eh? Well isn’t just swell…” Ryoko said, whilst peering around the room. Soon her eyes fell on Ayeka’s dancing shoes. “Hey, nice shoes,” she said, snatching them up off the chair, “they look pretty expensive.”

“My mother made them for me…” said Ayeka, trying to take them back, but Ryoko kept pushing her away.

“Hmm…” said Ryoko, examining them closely. “I’m sorry to say this kid, but I think these shoes are faulty.”

“F-faulty?”

“Yep, definitely faulty,” said Ryoko. “But don’t worry, I can fix them for you, no problem!”

“Um…”

“I’ll need some payment of course…” said Ryoko, looking around the room again. “Ah,” she said, taking out Ayeka’s purse, “this’ll do nicely! I’ll be back with these in just a minute…”. She ran off, purse and shoes in hand.

“Wait!” cried Ayeka. “Come back! If I don’t have my shoes, I can’t be in the competition! Please, come back…” She broke down into tears, as the camera faded out again…

…Another flashback over…

“You don’t really expect anyone to believe that load of tripe, do you?”

“Well it’s a whole lot more believable than YOUR pile of rubbish, Ryoko!”

Sparks flared as the two women stood toe to toe, looking as if they could explode at any second. Suddenly, Ryoko had a realisation.

“Oh no, the match!” she exclaimed. “I’ve got to go!” She smirked at Ayeka. “Sorry Princess, maybe we can get back to this later.” Leaping backwards, Ryoko phase-shifted, and disappeared.

“RYOKO!” Ayeka yelled out. “Ryoko you get back here THIS INSTANT!!” But Ryoko was not forthcoming. “What are you looking at?!” Ayeka shouted at the interviewer, who was cowering behind the nearest available piece of furniture. Seething with rage, Ayeka stormed off, as we went to a commercial break.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood vs. Ryoko

APWR Television Title

APWR Rules Match

Ryoko materialised in the middle of the ring. She blew kisses to her adoring public…and flipped off the Ayeka fanboy contingent in the front row. Soon her music changed to that of her opponent, and she turned away from the crowd to watch his entrance.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood emerged from behind the curtain, smoking a cigarette and carrying a very, very large cross wrapped up in cloth on his back. He casually strolled down the ramp with ease – he certainly didn’t seem to have any problems with the cross’ weight. Lifting the cross off his back and sliding it into the ring, he then followed in and placed it upright in the corner.

Ryoko eyed him with some amusement. “What’s with the cross?” she asked. “If you want religious symbolism why not just get a little one around your neck like most people?”

Wolfwood glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he finished setting it up. “Don’t you put any research into your opponent before you enter a match with them?”

“Research?” Ryoko scoffed. “Who needs research? I’m going to win anyway…”

Wolfwood nodded solemnly, and turned to face her. “Well if you must know,” he said, removing the end of his cigarette from his mouth and flicking it away, “I’m a priest.”

“You must be a pretty lousy priest to be carrying such a big cross to make up for it.”

Wolfwood smiled. “My cross is full of mercy,” he said, “I just have a lot of mercy to give.”

“Well it’s good that you’ve got some already,” said Ryoko, “because you won’t be getting any out of me in this match.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way…” Wolfwood reached into his jacket and withdrew two .45 silver handguns. He flicked them open and, upon seeing them to be fully loaded, snapped them back shut.

Ryoko gasped, and pretended to look shocked. “Oh my, you’re not thinking of putting a bullet in my gorgeous little body now are you? Of course…” She phase-shifted and reappeared right behind him. “…You’ll have to catch me first!”

Wolfwood swung round with his right arm, but Ryoko was already gone. “I’m right here little man,” she said from the other side of the ring. Wolfwood slowly turned back to face her. “Well go on,” said Ryoko, holding out her arms, “take your best shot.”

Narrowing his eyes, Wolfwood did nothing. Neither he nor Ryoko made a move as they stared at each other across the ring. As time passed in silence, a small “Let’s go Wolfwood – clap, clap, clap-clap-clap” chant started up in the crowd.

Suddenly, quick as a flash, Wolfwood drew one of his guns and fired off two rounds. They passed through thin air as Ryoko’s image shimmered and she once again disappeared from in front of him. Appearing behind and high above Wolfwood’s head, she smirked as she shot an orange energy blast towards him. At the last second, however, Wolfwood leapt to the side and the blast hit the canvas, leaving a dark scorch mark. Rolling through onto his knees, Wolfwood fired up with both guns, but Ryoko kept shifting from side to side to evade the bullets. Diving down through the air with great speed, she landed a powerful uppercut to Wolfwood’s jaw that knocked him a full eight feet back, slamming him into the turnbuckle.

Ryoko laughed as she swooped back up into the air, while Wolfwood wiped a spot of blood away from his mouth. Another energy blast, and being backed into the corner Wolfwood had no chance to run. Covering his head, the blast hit home on his left upper arm, vaporising a hole in his jacket and burning away at his skin. Swearing in pain, he leapt up and ran across the ring, more blasts narrowly missing behind him. Diving through the ropes, he jumped out to the floor below.

Ryoko laughed. “Oh please, do run,” she said. “Moving targets are always more fun.” Staying high up in the air, she flew over to above where Wolfwood had left the ring, but…he wasn’t there.

“What…” she frowned, “where in the hell?” She looked around in puzzlement, when suddenly BLAM! A shot hit her high in the right shoulder. Yelling out in shock as much as pain, she spun round to see Wolfwood on the far side of the ring – having crawled underneath it and out the other side. With the gun still smoking in his hand, he fired again. This shot hit Ryoko on the edge of her midsection, and she clutched at her side. She then dropped freefall to the floor below, out of Wolfwood’s line of sight.

Wolfwood frowned. Taking a moment to reload, he climbed into the ring and slowly walked across it. As he got close to the other side, he stopped, and peered cautiously over the edge – both guns at the ready. Suddenly a bright orange light flashed up, and the barrels of his guns fell in two.

“Heheheh…” Ryoko chuckled, looking somewhat unbalanced. She held a sword of orange energy in her right hand. “Looks like you’re out of options.”

Wolfwood stumbled backwards, dropping the useless hunks of metal that had been his weapons. Ryoko rose vertically and floated back into the ring, pointing the glowing blade at Wolfwood’s head.

“I hope you’re not a bad loser.” Ryoko grinned, her left hand still held against the bullet wound in her side. She edged Wolfwood back into the corner. “Not that it’ll make a difference either way.”

Wolfwood scowled. He continued to back away from Ryoko’s blade until…his back hit against something solid. He looked behind him – it was his cross.

“Now,” said Ryoko, “would you like this the painful way…or the more painful way?”

Slowly, Wolfwood stood up. He locked eyes with Ryoko. With a flick of his hand, the cloth covering his cross fell away, and he held up the metal contraption that lay beneath.

Ryoko blinked. “What is THAT?”

“This,” said Wolfwood, flipping the cross around so that the ‘head’ end was pointing at Ryoko, “is divine retribution.” The end of the cross split open, and a rocket exploded out of it. At almost point blank range, Ryoko had no time to react, and the weapon hit her head on. The impact flung her backwards across the ring, landing bruised and burnt on the canvas. If Ryoko had been a normal human, she would not have survived such a blast, but luckily for her she was still alive…barely.

Wolfwood lowered the Cross Punisher, as was its name, and walked over to Ryoko.

“May God have mercy,” he said…and pinned her.

WINNER, and NEW APWR Television Champion: Nicholas D. Wolfwood, by pinfall (clean)

Fool me once, shame on you…

Collecting his title belt from the referee, Wolfwood held it up high to the cheers of the crowd. Despite requiring medical attention, he took a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lit up, breathing in the smell of victory. He then gathered his cross back onto his shoulder, and exited the ring.

As he was nearing the top of the ramp…”WOLFWOOD!!”

Wolfwood stopped, and turned around. Ryoko sat in the ring with a microphone in her hand. She was in even more urgent need of medical attention than he was, and her breathing was a little erratic, but she glared at him with furious intensity. “You think…you think you can get away with pulling that kind of cheap stunt on me? We both know I had you beat!”

Wolfwood shrugged, and turned to walk away.

“You stay right there!” Ryoko yelled, having to pause for a moment to catch her breath. “I won’t fall for that trick again! I want a rematch Wolfwood, and this time there’s no way I’ll lose.”

Wolfwood looked at the battered and bloodied specimen in the ring. He lowered his head. “Fine,” he said, walking away, “you can have your rematch.”

Ryoko stared after him as he walked back through the curtain. The referee came over to ask how she was… “Get your hands off me!” she yelled, and continued to stare after Wolfwood, still seething…

We cut backstage to see none other than Vash the Stampede! The crowd roared as the Humanoid Typhoon was seen making his way towards the ring. We then saw a similar shot of Ranma Saotome. It’s Vash verses Ranma, one on one, and it’s next!

Ranma Saotome vs. ‘Humanoid Typhoon’ Vash the Stampede

Men’s World Title Tournament Quarter Final

APWR Rules Match

As we returned from our final commercial break, the theme music known as ‘H.T.’ announced the entrance of the only man in the known universe to be officially declared an Act of God – Vash the Stampede! He waved friendly to the crowd, and even gave a small boy a high-five on his way down the ramp.

Next, out came Ranma. Dressed in his usual Chinese clothes, he strolled down to the ring with his arms behind his head – looking cool and confident. Placing his hands on the ring apron, he lifted himself up high and flipped up and over the ropes, landing smoothly in the ring. He saw Vash applaud his display of acrobatics, and smirked. ‘This guy’s impressed by that?’ he thought. ‘This should be too easy.’

For good measure, he vaulted up onto on of the turnbuckles and landed on just one hand, spreading his legs out to the sides for balance. Again, Vash smiled and seemed impressed, which only amused Ranma further. After a few more twirls, he jumped back down, landing right in front of Vash.

Vash applauded yet again, grinning like a moron. “Hey that’s pretty good,” he said.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Watch this.” He jumped up, landed on one hand. ‘Can this guy really be that ‘Humanoid Typhoon’ that everyone kept telling me about?’ he wondered to himself.

“Let me have a go!” said Vash. He jumped up, got his legs caught in his long trench coat, and landed on his chin. “Ow.”

‘No’ sighed Ranma, shaking his head. ‘They must have been talking about someone else. It CAN’T be this guy…’

Flipping himself back up onto his feet, Ranma smirked. He’d just had a cunning idea. “Want me to show you some more?”

Vash nodded enthusiastically, and sat down cross-legged on the mat to watch.

‘He’s even sat down…’ thought Ranma, ‘he’s making this far too easy.’ He cracked his knuckles. “Right,” he said, “watch this.” Leaping up onto the top rope, he used it to jump up a full twelve feet into the air, and came diving down towards Vash with a giant kick. However at the last moment Vash lowered his head scratch an itch on the back of his neck, and Ranma went sailing past him and crashed into the bare canvas.

“Alright!” Vash grinned, applauding some more. “That was great!”

Ranma painfully got back to his feet. “The idiot avoided my attack,” he muttered to himself, “Well, he can’t get by on dumb luck forever.”

And so Ranma continued to ‘show’ Vash moves, and each time Vash would seem to accidentally avoid being hit by them. After the seventh time that Ranma crashed into the canvas, he could take no more of it.

“The hell with this!” he growled, walking up to Vash. “If we’re going to fight then fight me you coward!” He shot kicks at Vash’s head, but Vash just dodged each one of them, looking as clueless as ever.

‘This guy can’t be for real…’ Ranma looked ready to explode. “Will you PLEASE…GET…SERIOUS!!!”

Vash looked up at him; the smile wiped off his face, and silently got to his feet. He reached into his trench coat pocket and put on a pair of yellow sunglasses. “I guess we can do that,” he said.

Ranma narrowed his eyes, and charged at Vash. Vash dodged to the side, but Ranma grabbed his coat and spun round with him. Ranma grabbed him by the arm and followed through to toss him across the ring – only for Vash to land on his feet on the other side. Ranma ran up behind him and jumped up to dropkick him in the head, but Vash ducked, reached up and grabbed his feet in midair, and used Ranma’s own momentum to send him into the corner. Ranma crashed into the turnbuckle, and fell over the ropes to the floor below.

Continued in next post...because it's being an SOB

Edited June 24, 2004 by stokeriño

[stokeriño]

Vash walked over to look for him, but suddenly Ranma leapt up from outside of the ring with a kendo stick in hand. Bouncing off the top rope, he jumped high into the air with the stick raised for attack. In a movement so fast it almost didn’t seem human, Vash whipped out his .45 colt and fired two shots up into the air. Each bullet went straight through the kendo stick, breaking it so that Ranma was only left with some broken stumps and some shredded wood. Landing on the mat, and dropping most of the useless kendo stick, Ranma threw the two broken ends that he held in his hands like darts towards Vash, but Vash again used his gun to shoot both missiles out of the air and deflect them harmlessly away.

Ranma dived at Vash’s legs to take him down with a body tackle, but Vash jumped up and out of the way, landing with perfect balance on one of the turnbuckles. Ranma jumped up and landed in the same manner on the opposite turnbuckle, and the two men stared at each other from across the ring. After a brief moment of silence, they simultaneously jumped up and towards each other, meeting in the air high above the ring. Ranma grabbed Vash by his lapels and threw him straight down towards the canvas, where he landed with an impact that shook the ring. Ranma landed right on the top rope, equal distance between the two turnbuckles, and smirked.

Vash looked liked he was slowly getting to his knees, but suddenly he spun around and fired off another two shots – but they weren’t aimed at Ranma. Suddenly the bolts holding the top rope together at each end of the turnbuckle fell apart, and Ranma’s footing was taken away from him. He fell backwards out of the ring, landing on his back. His momentum kept him going so that he rolled over backwards and into the barricade! Ranma winced as his back received a second impact from the safety wall. Things weren’t going well, but at least they couldn’t really get much worse...

Opening his eyes, he looked up and saw a precariously balanced super-size cup wobble on the top of the barricade above him.

‘Please be popcorn, please be popcorn…’

The fan who owned the cup clutched at it to try and save his possession, but it was not to be. The cup toppled, and over 30 ounces of ice cold beer deposited itself all over Ranma.

……

A peculiar and entirely unrealistic shocked silence descended over the arena.

Slowly, Ranma wiped the liquid away from her eyes.

‘Damn it!’ she cursed, ‘This is only meant to happen with water! WATER!!’ She stood back up, trying to shake as much from her clothes as possible. ‘Just how cheap WAS that beer?!’

Back in the ring, Vash finally got back to his feet and dusted off his red trench coat. With a flick of his wrist, his gun snapped open and the six empty cartridges flew out. Just as quickly he inserted six more bullets and snapped it back shut. On the edge of his perception he sensed Ranma re-enter the ring behind him. Diving to his side, he rolled through and spun round – landing on his knees with his gun aimed directly at him.

Or rather, at her.

Vash blinked as his eyes fell upon the redheaded beauty that now stood before him, still trying to wring some of the excess liquid out of her shirt. His yellow shades fell off his face, dropping quietly to the canvas below.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaa~!!!”

Ranma looked up and immediately lurched back in surprise as the…legendary…Vash the Stampede raced drooling towards her.

“What, what are you…” she began, but stopped mid-sentence as he pressed his face up against hers, gazing into her eyes. “…What are you doing?” she finished in a dryer tone.

Vash’s face suddenly shifted from drooling idiot to bishounen charmer. “Your eyes sparkle like the stars on a clear winter’s night,” he said smoothly.

Ranma fumed. “It’s not only that you’re hitting on me, but why do you also have to be so goddamn CORNY?!” Reeling back, she smacked him across the face with a hard chop that knocked him to the ground.

Vash sat up on the mat, still in full bishi-mode. “The skin of your hand was soft like…” Ranma kicked him in the face. “…And the sole of your shoe was…” Ranma kicked him again. “Ugh.” Vash fell over backwards.

Ranma sighed, and knelt down to make the cover…but the referee did nothing.

Ranma shot him a vicious glare. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“Uh…” said the referee, rather unsure of himself, “I’m not sure that I can accept this pin…I don’t know the rules on what happens if a man becomes a woman during a Men-only match. Or even if a rule even exists…”

Ranma reached up and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him down to her face level. “You had better count the goddamn fall,” she hissed, “or the only 1-2-3 you’ll be counting is how many teeth you have left.”

The referee gulped, and made the slow, nervous count. 1…2…3 Ranma got the victory!

WINNER: Ranma Saotome, by pinfall (clean)

Ranma Saotome advances to the Semi Finals

After a brief victory pose for the crowd, Ranma looked back over to Vash, who was still on the floor with the lights out and a dazed expression on his face. Shaking her head pityingly, Ranma returned backstage, hoping to find some hot water – and fast…

END

[stokeriño]

APWR UNLEASHED – 15th June 2004 Official Preview

Onto the third show and with only two weeks left before the first ever APWR pay-per-view – APWR Ascension – things are really starting to heat up!

* The fourth quarter final in the Men’s World Title Tournament will take place next Tuesday with Inuyasha verses Millions Knives! Who will join Kagato, Shinji Ikari, and Ranma Saotome in the semi final matches?

* Another four corners elimination match will decide who will meet Naru Narusegawa in the final for the Woman’s World Title at Ascension! The four competitors are signed to be Akane Tendo, Yurika Misumaru, Rei Ayanami, and also one of the Azumanga Daioh cast will be making their in-ring debut - but which one will it be?

* Speaking of Naru Narusegawa, last week she had a confrontation with Legato Bluesummers. What could Legato want with Naru? Is he simply playing mind games, or is it something more? Tune in next Tuesday to see all the latest developments!

* Last week was a good one for Nicholas D. Wolfwood, becoming the first person ever to capture APWR gold as he became the first APWR Television Champion! Having accepted Ryoko’s demand for a rematch at Ascension, how will these two interact leading up to their big match?

Ranma Saotome, Vash the Stampede, Misato Katsuragi, Excel, and many others are also guaranteed to be in the house! Anything can happen, so you can’t afford to miss out!

Confirmed Matches

* Inuyasha vs. Millions Knives

* Akane Tendo vs. Rei Ayanami vs. Yurika Misumaru vs. One of the Azumanga Daioh cast

And much more!

Edited June 24, 2004 by stokeriño

[GoGo Yubari]

Fucking AWESOME show, even if Shinji winning irks me just a wee bit (same with the lack of presence from the Troika of Anime Perfection, Gai, Kuno, and Nabeshin). Ranma vs. Vash fucking RULED, and the finish cracked me up. Brilliant stuff from start to finish.

[Bushmeister]

Excel = fucken gold Seriously, the Excel bits and the main event are probably the funniest things I've read in any diaries so far. Can't wait for the third episode, especially the AZUMANGA DAIOH CREW DEBUT~!

Blasting Moomins with rocket launchers rocks my socks off.

[kale]

This diary is fucking gold. Your portrayal is pretty frickin good. I can't wait for the next show:)

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

All I need to say here:

I've got some work to do for my school, and am required to drive roughly 250 miles from my home in RI to my school in VT by 4:00 p.m. today.

Then I saw this show, and decided to throw caution to the wind and be a little late.

Stokerino: THANKS for making my choice justified.

[Spee]

Hmmm. Can't get much better for a big animé fan such as myself. The perfect mix of wrestling and animé - if only I'd have thought of that! Oh well. :ohwell: I've seen all of those series except I've only read the first Trigun manga and I confess to have never having heard of Azumanga Daioh, although living in the U.K. does limit the manga I can get hold of. Interesting that you have Tenchi characters fron In Tokyo as well, the particular Tenchi series I care little for. (¬_¬) Also the face/heel sides are a little unbalanced, although that is no fault of your own. Keep up the (excellent) work though!

[MalaCloudy Black]

Excellent! Wolfwood > * .

And I'm not particularly happy about Vash losing, but under the circumstances I can accept it

[damron17]

I know I'm new here but actually I've been reading this for along time...and like anyone who likes anime and wrestling...can you e-mail me this scenario.....anybody who loves anime has been waiting for this...and alot of people are lazy (Like me) or can't do it..(like me as well)

[CountZero]

I know I'm new here but actually I've been reading this for along time...and like anyone who likes anime and wrestling...can you e-mail me this scenario.....anybody who loves anime has been waiting for this...and alot of people are lazy (Like me) or can't do it..(like me as well) 

←

I'd like a copy too. Please, pretty please? ^_^

[stokeriño]

You realise how foolish it was to post in this thread, because you've now reset the 60 day time limit.

Nah I'm just kidding. I'm still telling myself that I have to update this thing by the end of the month, so hopefully...hopefully...

As for the scenario - Reflecto asked me this before and I PMed him a response, but I suppose I might as well say it here: I would not reccommend the data that I'm currently using to sim this diary to be used as an actual scenario by anyone. Quite frankly, it's sloppy. There's almost no thought put into the stats. The overness is horribly subjective across the board. I'm constantly adding random people to roster by hiring jobbers and Arsenic'ing them into brand new characters. There's a reason I don't put the segment ratings in the shows - because they're horribly screwed up. I may try to make a workable scenario out of it in the future, but for now...frankly it's just crap. It does it's job for simming the diary in EWR, and that's all that mattered.

This has been an APWR Public Service Announcement...I thank you for your time.

[Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster]

Excellent. Now, get to work on finishing the next show, lest I attack you with my forces of tortured bishounen in giant robots...

[thatshortguy]

Closed and moved to Archives.