The Wrestling Renaissance

[nabeel]

Another great update as usual. I lve the TURBANATOR

[Dingle]

Lol, Nice play out, just caught up. Go Turbinator and Doctor LeQuack!!

[Gongsun Zan]

This month, CZW, JAPW and IWA: MS all go bankrupt, much to my delight. If this is the kind of stuff happening during a boom, I can’t wait to see what a drop in the market would be like.

Truth and Reconciliation

26th, December, 2004

-----Dark Match-----

As the usual crowd of five pours into our backyard, Doctor LeQuack and Arnold Appleby climb into the ring, microphones in hand.

LeQuack: “Seeing as there are a lack of challengers for my title, I have decided to hold a Battle Royal to decide my next opponent. Whoever wins the match will go on to challenge me for my title. Of course, it’s all just for show, since whatever happens, I’ll still be champion. Isn’t that right?”

Appleby: “Absolutely, sir.”

LeQuack: “Good boy.”

LeQuack tosses Appleby a bottle of pills, before crawling out of the ring as Appleby downs a couple, getting ready for his match.

Overall Rating: 39%

-----Program Start-----

Arnold Appleby d. Dustin Echoes

LeQuack’s therapy seems to be having effect, as Arnold Appleby calmly takes out a calculator, beginning a series of complicated calculations. He then runs off backstage to find some rope, and after several minutes of careful tying, he manages to pin point the exact location of Dustin Echoes, allowing him to beat him up and score the win.

Overall Rating: 38%

Crowd Reaction: 14%

Match Quality: 63%

After the match, LeQuack stepped into the ring.

LeQuack: “Excellent, I see those pills are working nicely. Remember, if you want more of these little babies, you’re going to have to keep working for me. Understood?”

Appleby: “You are such a genius, sir.”

LeQuack: “Uh huh. I did get through medical school with honors, did I not?”

Appleby: “I know that sir. I was just reminding the crowd of your deeds.”

Overall Rating: 39%

Tubby McGuire d. The Turbanator

This isn't the first time these two have met in the ring, and it's certainly not the last. Despite the Turbanator's usage of foreign weapons (no pun intended) in his offense, it is certainly not enough to deprive Tubby of his win.

Overall Rating: 44%

Crowd Reaction: 25%

Match Quality: 64%

Frustrated at yet another lose to the infidels, the Turbanator grabs the microphone, yelling at the crowd.

Turbanator: “Enough of this blasphemy! Judgment Day has come, and all the heretics and infidels shall soon come to face with the errors of our ways! We shall invade your cities, and kill your newborns, before setting your houses on fire with the flame of reckoning! If we die, our sons shall take up our weapons, and if they die as well, may your children be cursed with impotence! I shall track down your candy shops, and bring forth swift justice to the infidels!”

Overall Rating: 51%

Before the Turbanator can continue with his rant, he finds himself interrupted by a certain Doctor LeQuack.

LeQuack: “Ok, time to calm down there. I see that you are undergoing a lot of stress and tension, but don’t worry! I have just the perfect cure for you! You see, all this rage and anger can simply be cured by taking out Tubby McGuire in the most humiliating way possible. So, I suggest you challenge him to a match, but not just any match. Have him put his citizenship on the line! For a price, I’ll be willing to guarantee your victory. In the end, everyone wins. You’ll become an American citizen, not to mention get your revenge; and I finally will be able to pay off my second house. But first, we will need something of yours to put on the line, something Tubby cannot resist.”

Turbanator: “Well, I have this half-eaten meatball stuck in my beard.”

LeQuack: “Excellent. That will do nicely.”

Overall Rating: 54%

World Championship Match:

Doctor LeQuack d. Dustin Echoes

Arnold Appleby was in LeQuack’s corner, busy shouting out the coordinates of his (apparently) invisible opponent. Dustin Echoes takes offense to this, moving over to yell at Appleby. A complete waste of time, considering that nobody can see him. However, after some detailed explanations from Appleby (not to mention two failed attempts), LeQuack manages to grab Echoes from behind, rolling him up with a schoolboy to retain his title.

After the match, LeQuack simply walks off with his title, without even bothering with a word of thanks for his companion.

Overall Rating: 38%

Crowd Reaction: 25%

Match Quality: 52%

Tubby: “My Momma told me not to talk to strangers, but since she doesn’t love me anymore, I guess it doesn’t matter. So Mr. Turbanator, that’s one mighty tasty looking meatball you’ve got there, and it belongs to me! And once I prove I’m no longer a loser, maybe my Momma will love me again and we can all live happily ever after!”

Overall Rating: 41%

4 Man Battle Royal

Kamikaze Bob d. Tubby McGuire, The Turbanator, Arnold Appleby

The moment the bell rings, Kamikaze Bob finds himself on the mat, knocked out by his own two by four. Meanwhile, Tubby and the Turbanator lock up in the middle of the ring, engaging in a wild brawl. Deciding that all the pain just wasn’t worth it, Appleby silently hops out of the ring.

Meanwhile, the brutal fight between Tubby and the Turbanator continues, as the Turbanator goes for a Baghdad Bomb. Fortunately, Tubby’s weight helps keep him safely grounded, as the Turbanator staggers back, nursing his aching back. Tubby immediately capitalizes on the situations, rushing foward and knocking Turbinator over the top rope.

Unfortunately, his inertia carries him foward, eliminating himself! With nobody left in the ring, Kamikaze wins by default!

Overall Rating: 43%

Crowd Reaction: 26%

Match Quality: 61%

Overall Rating for Truth and Reconciliation: 43%

Finally, we finish off with the biggest shocker of the all…H2 Pro-Wrestling have gone bankrupt!

[Bushmeister]

HOLY SHIT? H2PW WENT OUT OF BUSINESS?

*ahem* After this swerve, some backyard goodiness from Gongsun. ^_^ Doctor LeQuack has really impressed me in the last couple of shows, he has a very strong, very strange and very GOOD character, which is closely rivalled by the excellence that is The Turbanator and to a lesser extent Dustin Echoes. Appleby winning over Echoes got me giggling for like ten minutes or so, nevermind the LeQuack vs Echoes-match later on.

One thing I don't like is STILL Kamikaze Bob and his friend. Those two retards need to be sacked, no matter what your original intention for them was. They've failed miserably so far, and compared to the rest of the crew, are really below the par.

*waits for an Echoes heel turn where he goes around kicking ass like the Invisible Man*

[Gongsun Zan]

The death toll continues to rise, as NWA: Florida, PWG and 3PW all bite the dust. In a pitiful attempt to make up the numbers, a new promotion has opened in Mexico, by the name of OLLIE. The pools are already open as to how long they’ll last.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to improve my face roster, I hired another worker, who will be debuting as a rookie cop at our next show. With a slight nod to Stephen King, I've decided to name him Jack Sawyer.

Battle Royale

31st January 2005

LeQuack: “Alright, I think we’ve lost him. I think we can safely”

Appleby: “You are such a genius, sir.”

LeQuack: “And now, with Bob safely out of the way, I guess I don’t have to defend this title anymore!”

Suddenly, a young man dressed in a police uniform comes running up, flashing his badge.

Sawyer: “This is Officer Jack Sawyer! Stop in the name of the law!”

LeQuack: “You fool! You were supposed to make sure nobody followed us!”

LeQuack quickly shoves Appleby in front of Sawyer, allowing his sycophant to deal with the threat.

Overall Rating: 54%

Jack Sawyer d. Arnold Appleby

Arnold Appleby did his best to stop Sawyer, but the young energetic cop wasn’t going to let a criminal escape without a fight. He impressed the crowd with some quick offense, showcasing actual wrestling moves including a head-scissors takedown and a nifty enziguri. In the end, justice prevailed, leaving Appleby making a run for backstage, eager to avoid a verbal lashing from LeQuack.

Overall Rating: 41%

Crowd Reaction: 19%

Match Quality: 63%

Sawyer: “Alright doctor, no more games! You have been found guilty of illegally taking out the competition. Hand over that title, and nobody gets hurt!”

LeQuack: “Illegally? I am a certified doctor! I was only trying to save Kamikaze Bob’s life, after all, how was I to know he was allergic to my pills? It’s not like he could say anything, too busy having a seizure and all. But relax; I assure you Bob would be back next month, but only because of my miracle pills. Wait, what’s this? I can see envy in your eyes. You want the honor of capturing me, don’t you? Well, I’ve got just the cure for that jealously of yours…a jolly good beating.”

Overall Rating: 63%

Arnold Appleby d. Tubby McGuire

Seeing as how Turbanator has been squashed night after night by the powers of cellulite, we decided to prove that Tubby isn’t an undefeatable machine by having the scrawny Appleby face him in a warm up match. Through the use of extensive differentiation and integration of Tubby’s mass and current velocity, Appleby manages to bring him down, collecting the win.

Overall Rating: 41%

Crowd Reaction: 27%

Match Quality: 56%

After the match, LeQuack quickly came out to address the Turbanator.

LeQuack: “Alright, I’ve got just what you need to win your match. Guaranteed.”

Turbanator: “I am most pleased with this. May Allah shower you with his good blessings.”

LeQuack: “I don’t need blessings. I’m a frickin’ genius. Now hurry up and cough up the cash, I’ve got an entire construction crew waiting.”

Overall Rating: 58%

Turbanator: “Hah! Look how easily the western giant falls, when faced with the might of the great Allah! Do not underestimate my power; I have been hard at work blowing up candy shops, cutting off your only source of energy. On the other hand, you are a piece of fat American filth. This is a holy war, one that only the forces of purity can win. May Allah have mercy on your critically obese soul.”

Overall Rating: 55%

Citizenship versus Meatball Match:

The Turbanator vs. Tubby McGuire

Unfortunately, the Turbanator’s words didn’t seem to have much effect, as his fists continued to bounce of Tubby, who was enjoying a delicious ice cream sundae. With each deflected attack, the crowd cheered Tubby along with a supportive two man “U-S-A” chant.

Upon devouring his sundae, Tubby launched into a vicious bone-breaking offense, crushing the Turbanator beneath his folds of fat. The Turbanator could only pray to Allah as Tubby came rushing towards him…Rolling Hunger!

Slowly, Tubby crawls on top of Turbanator, 1…2…Wait, it’s Doctor LeQuack! Tubby turns, distracted by the faint aroma of...Apple Pie! Forgetting completely about the match, he rushes straight for the slice of pie, consuming it eleven seconds. Unfortunately, ten seconds are all he needs to get disqualified, and so the Turbanator is the winner!

Overall Rating: 47%

Crowd Reaction: 30%

Match Quality: 64%

As the Turbanator runs off with his newly stolen citizenship, Tubby McGuire sinks to his knees, crying profusely.

Tubby: “I tried so hard…I really did! But in the end, it seems that nobody loves me. All those kids back in school were right. I’m just a loser. They don’t love me, my Momma doesn’t love me, and nobody in this federation loves me. I just wanted to be…loved. To make it big, just like my heroes. But in the end, I’ve seen the truth. Everybody in this federation has just been absolutely nasty to me. I’ve lost everything, and I don’t want this anymore. I hope you have fun laughing at me now, because I’m never coming back…ever!”

Tubby slowly leaves the arena, munching on a chocolate chip cookie. Just before he steps through the curtain, he turns around to look at the arena one last time, tears streaming down his face. And then, with one final step, he is gone.

Overall Rating: 50%

World Championship Match:

Doctor LeQuack vs. Jack Sawyer

The crowd of six weren’t so much as cheering Sawyer on than simply booing LeQuack. Still, some interaction is better than none, as Sawyer proved himself to be LeQuack’s first challenge in months. Every time he started to gain some momentum, Sawyer would pull out an unexpected counter or reversal. However, Sawyer’s enthusiasm simply couldn’t match up to LeQuack’s superior intellect, as a sneaky low blow followed by a roll up helped the good doctor to secure his victory.

Overall Rating: 41%

Crowd Reaction: 30%

Match Quality: 53%

Overall Rating for Battle Royale: 48%

Edited June 8, 2004 by Gongsun Zan

[Bushmeister]

LeQuack: “I don’t need blessings. I’m a frickin’ genius.

←

Prrrrrrrrrrrreach it, brother, preach it.

This show seemed to be all LeQuack, tho. No other character really stood out from the schemes of the good ol' Doc, who has his hands in pretty much every big business in the fed right now: the title scene, Appleby's master and now in the Turbanator - Tubby "feud". You might want to give some other guy the spotlight every once in a while, too. Sawyer's debut wasn't that impressive, squashing Appleby and then losing to LeQuack in a who-cares-class of match.

I hope for improvements in the next show ^_^

[Farmer Reil]

Sawyer's debut was a cool way to explain K-Bob's non-appearance (I guess he's broken his nose or something, right?) so it wasn't completely wasted. It did seem to be The LeQuack show though. The only two segments he wasn't in were his clients two matches

[billyzzz80]

Yay! I hope Tubby truly is gone. That's just one annoying character. I'm loving LeQuack, right now it looks like he'll hold that title for awhile.

[JDK]

wow, more promotions have gone out of business then you have had wrestlers. I hope the Boss comes back, or that the Turbanator starts to win. Need... more... backyard!

[Gongsun Zan]

Unfortunately, due to forgetfulness on my part, I ended up losing $10,000 worth of sponsorship money to another promotion. This is certainly bad news, as our monthly profits now have a fancy minus sign next to the numbers. With the risk of us going bankrupt at any moment, I can only hope that we can get better sponsors before we disappear for good.

Road to Redemption

27th February 2005

LeQuack: “As you know, I’m disappointed in you. When you lose, it makes me look bad. I’m supposed to be a genius, not some cheap practitioner of medicine! Fortunately, as it appears I still need your services, I’ve got another job for you. Fail me again, and well…you’ll see.”

Appleby: “Thank you! I will not let you down again.”

LeQuack: “Good boy. Now go teach that annoying cop not to stick his nose in other people’s businesses.”

Overall Rating: 55%

Jack Sawyer d. Arnold Appleby

In an attempt to redeem himself, Appleby took on Sawyer once more to prove his worthiness. Unfortunately, all he did was get his ass kicked by Sawyer’s fast paced offense. LeQuack tried to get in on the action, but before he could even lay a finger on his nemesis, Kamikaze Bob rushed out from backstage, attacking him with a kendo stick! Meanwhile, unwilling to take any more punishment, Appleby surrendered, awarding the victory to Sawyer.

Overall Rating: 44%

Crowd Reaction: 23%

Match Quality: 65%

The Boss enters the arena, escorted by LeQuack. As he walks to the ring, LeQuack begins to whisper into the Boss’ ear,

Boss: “According to our good doctor here, Kamikaze Bob has not been cleared to wrestle tonight. Apparently, suffering from fifteen different diseases classifies you as a threat to National Security. Seeing as I just watered my flower garden, having the army run all over my garden is definitely not what I want. As such, Kamikaze Bob is now…fired.”

LeQuack: “But not just yet! Being the kind and compassionate soul I am, I’ve decided to give you a chance to earn my miracle cure! But first, you must beat me in a pink slip ladder match!”

Overall Rating: 56%

Jack Sawyer d. The Turbanator

The Turbanator came out with a microphone, ready to cut another promo. Suddenly, Jack Sawyer suddenly jumped out of the bushes and began assaulting the Turbanator for no reason at all. Of course, that had little relevance, as the crowd began a “U-S-A” chant anyway.

Caught completely off guard, there was little the Turbanator could do to shield himself from Sawyer’s offense. Sawyer continued to dominate the match, beating the Turbanator into submission. His job done, he slapped some handcuffs on the crook, before trying to drag him off backstage.

Overall Rating: 44%

Crowd Rating: 29%

Match Quality: 59%

Sawyer: “Alright buster, off to jail you go.”

Turbanator: “Blasphemy! As Allah as my witness, I declare my innocence!”

Sawyer: “Don’t play dumb with me. The candy store bombings had Iraqi terrorist written all over it.”

Turbanator: “You call yourself the police force, but in truth, you are nothing but a bunch of corrupt Americans! As a messenger from the great Allah himself, I swear to cleanse this nation of filth, or may I burn in hell for having this citizenship!”

Sawyer: “What? You’re an American? Oh, sorry sir, you’re free to go. I thought you were like, a foreigner or something.”

Turbanator simply glares at Sawyer, before dusting himself off and heading back to the ring.

Overall Rating: 61%

Kamikaze Bob d. The Turbanator

Furious that he was losing his job, Bob was determined to make a lasting mark. Whipping out a deadly arsenal of house hold items including toothbrushes, toilet seats and even the kitchen sink, Bob proceeded to completely destroy both himself and the Turbanator. After a few minutes of random hardcore spots, Bob was declared the winner.

Overall Rating: 45%

Crowd Reaction: 32%

Match Quality: 58%

LeQuack: “Bob! How good to see you again! How’s it been? I’ve been reading up on your files, and I’m afraid that you’ve got an undiagnosed condition of poor logical reasoning and pattern recognition. I’m not sure whether all this roof hopping is the cause of your problems or simply a side effect, but don’t worry; these things tend to work themselves out. All I need to do is beat the living hell out of you, and I promise, you will never make such foolish mistakes ever again.”

Overall Rating: 52%

Pink Slip Ladder Match:

Doctor LeQuack vs. Kamikaze Bob

The goal of the match was to use the ladder to retrieve the pink slip dangling between two trees. Bob was especially focused, seeing as how his job was on the line. On the other hand, LeQuack could hardly bother, knowing that he could just as easily get Bob fired during the next show.

LeQuack allowed himself to get beaten up at the start, conserving his energy as he waited for an opening. He didn’t have to wait long, as Bob, unable to resist the temptation, started climbing the ladder. This was the signal for Appleby to rush to the ring, knocking the ladder over. He continued to beat on Bob, as LeQuack calmly retrieved the pink slip, winning the match!

Overall Rating: 46%

Crowd Reaction: 43%

Match Quality: 50%

As a dazed Kamikaze Bob slowly regains consciousness, he is approached by the Boss.

Boss: “Well, Bob, it really pains me to do this, but…well, actually it doesn’t. You’re fired. Bye.”

Bob: “What?”

Boss: “No buts about it. Go on, shoo. Scat.”

Kamikaze Bob starts to protest, but the Boss simply sticks his fingers in his ears, humming loudly to himself. Seeing as there’s nothing he can do, Bob leaves the arena. Meanwhile, LeQuack triumphantly raises his arms in the ring. Yet another of his opponents had fallen to his genius, and soon, Jack Sawyer would be the next to go.

Overall Rating: 54%

Overall Rating for Road to Redemption: 50%

[billyzzz80]

HAHA! See it didn't matter, even if Bob won, LeQuack could have said the one who retrieved the pinkslip gets fired. It's a win win situation for LeQuack. GENUIS!

[Gongsun Zan]

Seeing as our roster is devoid of faces, I’ve decided to use it to my advantage and bring in another worker: the mysterious vertically challenged crier known only as…The Messenger

Renaissance

28th March 2004

The Messenger walks out to the ring, loud speaker in one hand and a bell in the other.

Messenger: “Hear ye! Hear ye! In a time of absolute darkness, who shall spread forth the light of justice? If any kind soul is willing to fight the good fight, and push back the hordes of evil, come forth! Do not fear defeat, for with the light of truth and justice on our side, we shall prevail!”

Overall Rating: 60%

Dustin Echoes d. Arnold Appleby

Echoes definitely seems to have taken interest in the Messenger’s words, as he comes out with a never before seen purpose. Using his invisibility to his advantage, he snatches Appleby’s calculator away, smashing it into pieces with his foot. As Appleby mourns over the loss of his baby, Echoes quickly capitalizes on the situation and rolls Appleby up for the win.

Overall Rating: 42%

Crowd Reaction: 22%

Match Quality: 63%

After the match, a furious LeQuack confronts a frightened Appleby.

LeQuack: “You incompetent moron! You are not fit to be associated with the likes of my genius! Even my miracle pills cannot cure your case of moroncitis! Deadly disease, really bad stuff. Of course, you wouldn’t be able to comprehend all that, being a moron and all.”

Appleby: “I am not a moron!”

LeQuack: “Symptoms include denial.”

Appleby: “You’re making this up!”

LeQuack: “Irritabillity.”

Appleby: “Wait, what are you doing? Stop!”

LeQuack: “Inability to cope with pressure.”

Appleby: “No…no! Please, anything but that!”

LeQuack: “Sorry old boy, but I’ll have to put you down. Got to quarantine you and all that stuff.”

Before Appleby can protest, LeQuack whips out a block of concrete, knocking his former apprentice out cold.

Overall Rating: 46%

Turbanator: “Last week, I found myself humiliated by the infidel who calls himself Jack Sawyer. Just like your typical American countrymen, you are nothing but a sack of ignorance and stupidity. In correspondence to Allah’s will, I shall wage a deadly jihad against your friends and family, until you have truly repented for the errors of your disbelieving ways!”

Overall Rating: 65%

The Turbanator d. Jack Sawyer

Jack Sawyer showed some restraint in the match, as though he was trying to conserve energy for the main event. Meanwhile, the Turbanator, eager to lay waste to his nemesis, showed no restraint as he hit not one, but two consecutive 747 Drops on Jack Sawyer for the win.

Overall Rating: 47%

Crowd Reaction: 34%

Match Quality: 60%

Echoes: “I’d like to take up your offer.”

Messenger: “Who goes there?”

Echoes: “Um…me. You know, Dustin Echoes.”

Messenger: “Good God dear boy, you’re invisible!”

Echoes: “Actually, according to my parents, when people look at me they forget me so fast their eyes fail to register my existence.”

Messenger: “Fear not my boy, with the light of truth and justice on our side, we shall do battle with the forces of evil, and lay waste to their evil schemes!”

Overall Rating: 50%

Doctor LeQuack d. Dustin Echoes

Filled with enthusiasm by the Messenger and his previous victory, Dustin Echoes walks down the aisle with pride, striking several dozen poses for the crowd. He takes so long, that by the time LeQuack makes his entrance, the doctor accidentally trips over Echoes on the way to the ring.

His position given away, LeQuack soon destroys the wannabe superhero in a matter of minutes. So much for the light of truth and justice.

Overall Rating: 44%

Crowd Reaction: 35%

Match Quality: 53%

LeQuack: “Hah! Is that all you wannabe heroes can do? You guys are a joke! This reminds me of a case I treated a few years back. This bunch of annoying kids, they actually thought they were superheroes! Could you believe that? Fortunately, I’m proud to say I cured their case with absolute ease, by teaching them that no matter what they think, people don’t fly. Heck, I even gave them real jobs! If I’m not wrong, one of them is now the chairman of the wheelchair stunt foundation! Who’d think that? Speaking of which, Jack Sawyer, I’m going to be breaking your legs if you don’t back off right now!”

Overall Rating: 57%

World Championship Match:

Jack Sawyer vs. Doctor LeQuack

Despite his earlier loss, Sawyer was ready tonight as he caught LeQuack off guard with a series of hard hitting shots. However, the doctor soon regained his composure, fighting back with a series of stiff punches. A back and forth tug of war soon ensured, with neither side gaining an advantage.

Following a near fall from Sawyer, the Turbanator rushed into the ring, steel chair in hand. Dustin Echoes comes to the rescue, but Kamikaze Bob charges out from behind him, knocking him to the ground by accident! Ignoring him, Bob rushes into the ring, knocking the Turbanator over the top rope before he can do any harm. Back in the ring, Sawyer hits the generically named Police Bomb on LeQuack for the win!

Overall Rating: 47%

Crowd Reaction: 41%

Match Quality: 54%

Overall Rating for Renaissance: 49%

Edited June 10, 2004 by Gongsun Zan

[nabeel]

Was your friend Crash Holly?

[Gongsun Zan]

And now, time for some bad news. Apparently, I've been fired from my game, all thanks to a stupid mistake. Anyways, still determine to get a backyard fed running, which means I'm going to do this all over again, with some tweaks here and there. (Like no KB for one)

So, before I pm a mod to close this and ship this off to the archives, should I post the last two shows (pointless, since I'm probrably going to recycle the segments if I restart this) or should I just close this off?

[Bushmeister]

Continue like nothing happened, if you possibly can I really enjoy this, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste.