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WWE - November 2003


Essa
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I've done a lot of diaries. It just so happens that most of them involve such a detailed backstory that it burns me out before I can even get to the writing aspect. So now, with my hetero-lifemate Chris2K's consent, we are going to venture into this bad boy with no backstory. The way I see things is that maybe this will reverse the process and mean that there'll be more shows with no backstory instead of more backstory with no shows. Anyway, this is how this thing will work.

Most WWE split diaries involve one person taking over one brand while someone else takes over the other brand. I, however, prefer the style of booking the shows together and splitting the segments amongst yourselves. This means two things.

1 Conflicting bookers. Sure Chris and I agree on certain things when it comes to wrestling. But there is no way we could possibly agree on everything. Who should Kurt Angle feud with? I say A-Train, he says Chris Benoit. (Hypothetically of course) Now even though we are going for realism, we just can't agree with each other in regards to everything.

2 Less down time between shows. It takes me quite a while to write a show on my own. It takes Chris quite a while to write a show on his own. But instead of having to write eleven segments, we have to write 5 or 6. So, we could technically have a show up once every three or four days instead of weekly.

So now that you have all of the information needed, join Essa and Chris on our journey to produce the most entertaining YET realistic WWE shows possible. We will be starting this diary from two weeks before Survivor Series 2003. Thanks for reading and enjoy.

WWE Raw

11/3/03

Live From The Gund Arena, in Cleveland, Ohio!

BISCHOFF CONFRONTS AUSTIN

Eric Bischoff is walking around backstage. He is in a very good mood, after his men destroyed Austin's men last week on Raw. He walks for a couple of seconds, until he comes up to Steve Austin's door. Bischoff lets out a little chuckle before opening up the door. He walks in, and you can see Steve Austin sitting in a swivel chair. He's drinking a beer, with his feet up on his desk.

Steve Austin: What is it Eric?

Eric Bischoff: What, no "Hello, Eric?", or "Wow Eric, you surprised me." I'd even settle for a "Don't you knock?"

Austin points at the tv.

Steve Austin: You're on the TV you damn fool.

Bischoff just shakes off that last little comment.

Eric Bischoff: Whatever Steve, thats not what I'm here for. I'm here to refresh your memory. I want you to think back to last week Steve.

Austin stands up.

Steve Austin: You want to refresh my memory? What do you think, I forgot about what happened out there last week. You think that I forgot about how your team beat the hell out of my team inside that cage? Well Bischoff, I didn't forget. But you know what, it's okay. What happened last week will stay in last week. Last week, that was meaningless. But, Survivor Series, when my team stomps a mudhole in your team... That will matter. Because after that match, I don't need any physical provocation. I could beat the hell out of you ALL day EVERY day.

Eric puts his hand over his heart and pretends to go weak in the knees.

Eric Bischoff: Oh, I'm so scared. But seriously Steve, I'm not here to argue, I'm just here to see where we stand on Sunday. And, I've got quite the proposition for you. Steve, if you tell me who your five team members are, then I'll tell you who my five team members are.

Steve Austin: You know Eric, you really are a cocky son of a bitch. You come bursting in my room, and now you want to know who I'm having on my team? Well fine, I'll tell you.

Austin stares at his hand

Steve Austin: I've got Booker T

The crowd cheers. Austin then does the thumb pointing to his back.

Steve Austin: I've got Rob Van Dam.

The Crowd cheers even more. Austin then puts up the 3D sign.

Steve Austin: And I've got Bubba and D-Von, the Dudley Boyz.

More cheers are heard.

Eric Bischoff: Uh Steve, I don't know what they teach you down in Texas, but that was only four people.

Steve Austin: So? Maybe I didn't pick my fifth person yet.

Eric Bischoff: Okay, thats quite the team. It really is a shame that they are going to lose at Survivor Series, to my group of men. First I've got The Ayattolah of Rock & Rolla, The Highlight of The Night, Y2J Chris Jericho. Then I've got Christian, the...

Steve Austin: Creepy Little Bastard?

Eric Bischoff: Real mature Steve. Then I've got Big Poppa Pump, The Big Bad Booty Daddy, Freakzilla... You know who I'm talking about Scott Steiner! And, then theres the World's Strongest Man, Mark Henry.

Steve Austin: I don't know what their teaching you in... wherever the hell you're from but it seems to me like that was only four men.

Eric Bischoff: Yeah well... You only told me four men, so I should only have to do the same.

Steve Austin: Admit it Eric, you can't get anybody else on your team.

Eric Bischoff: Thats not true. I've got people BEGGING to be on my team. But, I just haven't let anybody else in yet.

Steve Austin: Ha, and I'm the Pope.

Eric Bischoff: We'll see Steve. I'm not going to let you get me all riled up. I'm in a good mood tonight. My men are winning, and you're ass is just about fired. Enjoy that beer Steve, because that is going to be one of the last ones you have working for the World Wrestling Entertainment.

Eric starts whistling, and he just walks out of the room.

Steve Austin: Dumb son of a bitch.

OR: 93

Jim Ross: Hello and welcome to WWE Raw, live from Cleveland Ohio.

Jerry Lawler: Yeah JR, we've got a hell of a show for you all tonight.

Jim Ross: King, for the second week in a row we've got a Cage hanging up above the ring. Why is it here?

Jerry Lawler: I don't know JR, but it seems to me like both Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff have an ace up their sleeves for Survivor Series, with neither man revealing their fifth team member.

Jim Ross: Both general managers want to have the element of surprise going for them next week. That's that damn Jericho's music. It must be time for the Highlite Reel.

HOTTY HIGHLITE REEL

Sevendust's version of Break the Walls Down plays, and its time for everyone's favorite Highlight of the Night, the Highlite Reel. Chris Jericho is already in the ring with his two guests Trish Stratus, and Lita. He also has a special guest co-host, Christian, in the ring with him.

Jericho: Hey, ladies.

Jericho winks at them and raises his eyebrow up and down.

Chris Jericho: Trish, I got the message you left on my answering machine yesterday. You said that you and Lita had something you wanted to ask us. So, the floor is all yours tonight. Because, tonight Christian and I are the special guests of the Highlite Reel.

Christian: Oh, and ladies, don't be bashful, there's enough of Christian for the both of you.

Trish: Believe me Christian, it has nothing to do with that.

Lita: We're not out here to flirt with you. We're out here to find out why you two have been getting involved in our business lately.

Jericho stands up straight, and seems a little bit pissed off.

Chris Jericho: You're kidding us right? No, no, actually I had a feeling that something like this would happen. You want to know why we've gotten involved? Well let's take a look at my ludicrously expensive Jeritron 5000 for the answer.

A video is shown, of Trish slowly getting up to her feet. She turns around and Steven Richards is there. Steven lines her up for the Steven Kick, but Jericho runs into the ring and throws Steven outside. Jericho then checks on Trish. Then, right after that there's the same situation, just switch Trish with Lita. Lita is about to get drilled with the Steven Kick when Christian helps her by attacking Steven from behind. Christian dumps Steven out of the ring and checks on Lita as we go back to the live feed.

Christian: You want to know why we did that?

Christian walks closer to Lita.

Christian: You want to know why we put our asses on the line to help save your pretty face? Do you know how upset all of my Peeps would have been if I got hit with that kick?

Christian grabs a lock of Lita's hair and starts rubbing it. Lita starts looking around nervously, but then answers back with a knee right to Christian's balls. Christian hunches over and falls down, before rolling out of the ring and walking back up the ramp.

Jericho: Don't pay him any attention. That's not why we helped you ladies. Let me tell you something. The wrestling ring is a very dangerous place for no talent, untrained, eye candy like the two of you.

Trish goes to slap Jericho, but he grabs her arm, and stares at her like he's going to attack her. Lita tries to hit Jericho from behind, but he just piefaces her down to the mat which gets a big Ooooooh from the crowd.

Jericho: This ring is a man's domain, and when women get involved... Let's just say the results may be disastrous.

Chris lets go of Trish, but then he backs her up into the corner. Chris then starts smiling.

Jericho: But, don't worry babay, it isn't going to be like that for you anymore. Because The King of Bling Bling had a talk with Mr. Bischoff earlier today. And, I expressed my concern about women trying to wrestle like men. And guess what? Mr. Bischoff agreed with me one hundred percent! He also enlightened me a little. He told me about the type of matches that women were competing in before that horrible excuse for a Co General Manager, Steve Austin got involved. You remember these Trish? You had the Bra and Panty's Matches, you had the Lingerie matches, you had the Paddle on a Pole Match, and well we can't forget the women's wrestling equivalent of the Hell in a Cell, the Mud Wrestling Match.

Trish starts shaking her head in disgust.

Jericho: And, after a little reminiscing Mr. Bischoff thought for a little while. Then he told me that starting tonight, there would be no more involvement from men in women's matches because we'd be going back to the women's style of matches from before Austin became the Co General Manager.

Trish puts on an... unhappy face.

Jericho: He also already booked the first match, since the restructuring of the women's division. Because tonight, Trish, you'll be wrestling Victoria in a Paddle On A Pole Match. Trish, you'll never have to wrestle a real match AGAAAAAIN.

Trish is fuming mad.

Jericho: You can thank me now if you want.

Jericho reaches in to go for a kiss, but Trish just pushes him away.

Jericho: Okay fine.

As Chris starts to speak again, Victoria, Molly and Gail Kim start to run down to the ring.

Jericho: But, yourwelcome anyway.

From behind Victoria, standing on the ring apron, grabs Trish's hair and slams her down to the mat. Molly and Gail pick Lita up, who for some reason is still lying on the ground after being piefaced. Molly and Gail hit their Double DDT on Lita, before walking out of the ring and going back to the backstage area. Victoria picks up Trish, and hoists her up onto her shoulders before hitting her with the Widow's Peak. Victoria then goes up the apron taunting Trish Stratus.

Jericho: You can't say I didn't warn you ladies.

Jericho chuckles as we cut to the first commercial of the night.

OR: 81

Jerry Lawler: Whooohooo we get puppies again!

Jim Ross: King these women are very talented, and shouldn't be relegated to wrestling in underwear. And what about that heinous attack by Victoria, Gail Kim and Molly Holly?

Jerry Lawler: Who cares? We get Paddle on a Pole match tonight! PUPPIES!

Jim Ross: Whatever King, lets get back to the ring.

LA RESISTANCE VS JOHN HEIDENRICH, THE HURRICANE, AND THE S.H.I.T.

Overview: The crowd still doesn't know what to make of this John Heidenrich guy, and you could tell by the crowd reaction, although that could also be attributed to the crowd not giving a damn about La Resistance. Anyway, to the match. Hurricane and Rosey worked most of the match against Dupree and Conway, leaving the two worst workers in the match off to the side for most of the time. Okay, now to the ending... La Resistance had control of the match, by keeping Hurricane in the heel corner. La Resistance used constant tags to keep themselves fresh while wearing down Hurricane.

Match Ending: The Hurricane is crawling over to his corner. John Heidenrich sticks his arm out for the tag, but Rob Conway runs over and grabs Hurricane's legs. He takes him back to the La Resistance corner. Conway turns the Hurricane over and locks him in the Paris Crab. Hurricane writhes in pain. Hurricane slowly starts moving towards the ropes. Hurricane reaches... but Conway pulls him right back to the middle of the ring. The Hurricane is in immense pain, he's about to tap out but John Heidenrich runs in and breaks up the hold by kicking Conway in the head.

Heidenrich quickly gets right back out of the ring and onto the apron. Heidenrich and Rosey have their arms out, trying to get the tag. Hurricane slowly gets up to his knees, and then finally to his feet. Hurricane is up and tries to make a run for the corner, but Conway meets him, and quickly drops him with his Neckbreaker. Conway goes for the pin. 1... 2... Rosey breaks it up by pulling Conway off of Hurricane.

Conway gets up, and then pulls Hurricane to his feet. Conway slams Hurricane head first into the turnbuckle. Conway then makes the tag to Rene Dupree. Conway puts Hurricane in an Abdominal Stretch while Dupree climbs to the top rope. Dupree jumps off the top, looking for a Double Axehandle to the exposed ribs of Hurricane. But Hurricane manages to hit a Hiptoss on Conway breaking the hold. Dupree misses the axe handle, and falls to his knees. Hurricane runs and WHACK - Shining Wizard delivered right to the side of Dupree's head.

Hurricane starts to slowly crawl to his corner, as Dupree manages to get to his feet. Dupree runs at the Hurricane, but Hurricane makes one last lunge and tags in John Heidenrich! Heidenrich gets in, and he's on fire. A clothesline is delivered to Dupree, knocking him on his ass. Conway charges into a big boot to the face. Now it's Grenier's turn as he runs right into a Sidewalk Slam from Heidenrich. Grenier rolls out of the ring. Conway gets up and charges at Heidenrich, but Rosey sideswipes him and takes him down with a huge tackle knocking both men outside of the ring. Rene Dupree then clumsily stumbled up to his feet. Dupree turned around, and he was met with Heidenrich's Twisting Chokeslam. Dupree is out cold. Heidenrich makes the cover. 1... 2... 3.

John Heidenrich, The Hurricane and The S.H.I.T. def. La Resistance by Pinfall.

After the match, Heidenrich, Hurricane and Rosey walk back up the ramp. They get to the top of the ramp and turn around to look at their fallen french opponents. Hurricane smacks Heidenrich on the back, and scruffs up Heidenrich's hair. Heidenrich's eyes seem to light up with anger. Heidenrich shoves the Hurricane. Hurricane falls down at the side of the stage. Rosey pushes Heidenrich and asks what that was about, and Heidenrich responds with a punch right to the side of the head of Rosey. Heidenrich then drills Rosey with a Gut Wrench Powerbomb right on the steel stage. Heidenrich then goes back by The Hurricane. Hurricane is up though, and he starts punching Heidenrich. He gets Heidenrich reeling backwards, but all of that stops when Heidenrich grabs Hurricane around the neck. Heidenrich walks to the side of the stage and then he CHOKESLAMS HURRICANE RIGHT OFF OF THE STAGE, AND THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE! Fade to backstage.

OR: 58

CR: 59

MQ: 71

Jim Ross: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HE'S BROKEN IN HALF! John Heidenrich just chokeslammed the Hurricane right threw our announce table.

Jerry Lawler: He had his cape on, why didn't he fly?

Jim Ross: This poor kid is laying there right in front of us and that's all you have to say?

Jerry Lawler: Hey, all I'm saying is that he doesn't look like much of a superhero. Let's go backstage where we have Eric Bischoff.

BAD NEWS FOR BISCHOFF

Eric Bischoff is strolling around backstage. He seems to be in a very good mood when Seargent Slaughter runs up to him. He has a piece of paper in his hands.

Slaughter: Eric, you've just received a fax from Linda McMahon.

Slaughter hands him the fax. Eric starts to read the fax, but then he looks up.

Bischoff: What the hell do you want? Get out of here.

Eric continues reading, and his jaw drops.

Bischoff: No, no, no, I can't be reading this right. Mark Henry is Smackdown property? He told me he was a free agent! So, Linda has decided that Mark Henry should go back to Smackdown? And she'll be here next week to see to it that he doesn't show up!? Well, that's not going to happen. He's got to be on my team at Survivor Series! I've got to find a way to keep him... Hmmm... It's not like she could take away my... World Heavyweight Champion!

Eric scratches his chin.

Bischoff: Great idea Eric. So tonight, our main event will be Bill Goldberg defending his title against Mark Henry. Man I really dodged a bul...

Eric starts walking away. Test runs up behind Bischoff, dragging Stacy along with him.

Test: Eric, Eric, I have to talk to you.

Eric Bischoff still seems to be happy.

Eric Bischoff: Hey Test, how's the foot?

Test: It's getting better. But, look I was meaning to ask you about Survivor Series.

Eric Bischoff: Okay, what do you want to know?

Test: I was wondering if maybe I could be the fifth member on your Survivor Series team.

Bischoff starts Laughing.

Eric Bischoff: Look Test, there is no way in hell I'm going to put a man who can barely walk on my Survivor Series team.

Test grabs Bischoff by his jacket and slams him up against the wall.

Test: What's the matter Eric? I was good enough for you to make me wrestle Shane McMahon last week, to help you settle your little personal vendetta with him. Now I'm not good enough to get back at that bastard Steve Austin?

Eric Bischoff: You know how Shane McMahon broke your foot? Well if you don't put me down I'm going to add to that by breaking your wallet with a lawsuit.

Test puts him down.

Eric Bischoff: That's better. Now Test, I just can't let anybody be on my team. I'm sorry but...

Test: Before you say anything else... I have an offer. If you put me on your Survivor Series team, then I can get something that I know you want.

With that, Test lifts up Stacy's short skirt to reveal her thong. Bischoff smiles.

Eric Bischoff: I love the way you think Test. I'll tell you what, tonight I'll book a match. You, and Scott Steiner vs the Dudley Boyz for the WWE Tag Team Titles. If you and Scott Steiner win, which I know you will, then you're on my team. Oh, and Stacy come with me.

Eric Bischoff opens up the door to his office and walks in. Stacy looks at Test hoping that he says that Stacy won't have to do anything. Instead, Test shoves Stacy into the room. Test closes the door, and walks off laughing.

OR: 86

Jim Ross: If Mark Henry doesn't beat Goldberg tonight, he has to go back to Smackdown!

Jerry Lawler: Who cares, lets talk about Stacy!

Jim Ross: I knew that Stacy was Test's property, but come on Test have some class.

Jerry Lawler: Oh man, that Eric Bischoff is one lucky man.

Jim Ross: Well, tonight we have The Dudley Boyz vs Scott Steiner and Test for the Tag Titles, and Test will have to win to be on Bischoff's Survivor Series team. But now, we have the Paddle on a Pole match.

Jerry Lawler: WHOOOO PUPPIES.

VICTORIA VS TRISH STRATUS - PADDLE ON A POLE MATCH

Rules

- A Pole will be put above the turnbuckle

- A Paddle will be placed at the top of the Pole

- The first woman to take the Paddle and use it on her opponent wins

- No Disqualifications

- No Pinfalls

- No Submissions

Highlights: The crowd liked this match, most likely because they wanted to see these two roll around spanking each other. Or maybe the fans are remembering all the times that the WWE has hinted at Victoria being a lesbian. Who knows? Who cares? Anyway, you know the drill. Lots of slapping, and hair pulling. Both of the girls tried to climb up the pole a few times, but never could get the damn paddle. Come on ladies how hard is it?

Ending: Trish Stratus goes for a Chick Kick on Victoria, but Victoria dodges the Chick Kick. Trish turns back around, and Victoria meets her with a kick right into the gut. Trish hunched over, and Victoria then hooked her up and then hit a hard Snap Suplex. Victoria then climbed up to the top turnbuckle. She reached for the paddle, but Trish ran up to her, and pulled on her leg. Victoria fell spread eagle on the top rope. Trish then ran and hit Victoria with an Inverted Stratusphere!

Trish then decided to climb the pole herself. She got to the top and grabbed the pole. Trish climbed right back down the turnbuckles, and she picked up Victoria and bent her over her knee. Trish reared back with the Pole and was about to spank Victoria, but instead she got a different idea.

Trish dropped Victoria, and stood up. She was waiting for Victoria to get back to her feet. Victoria stumbled to her feet, and when she did Trish ran at her, and swung the Paddle. Victoria ducked, and the running Trish bounced off of the ropes, where she was tripped by Molly Holly and Gail Kim.

Molly and Gail held Trish's legs forcing her to stay down. Victoria then went out to the ring apron. Victoria hit Trish with a Slingshot Legdrop! Molly and Gail Kim then climbed into the ring. Victoria then bent Trish over her knee. Gail Kim handed Victoria the paddle. Victoria seductively rubbed Trish's ass a couple of times before rearing back, and spanking Trish.

Victoria def Trish Stratus by Spanking

Victoria kept spanking Trish with the paddle while Trish screamed until Molly and Gail pulled her off of Trish. Molly and Gail then pulled Trish up to her feet. Molly and Gail drilled Trish with their Double DDT! Then Molly grabbed Trish's arms, and Gail grabbed Trish's legs stretching her out. They motioned for Victoria to climb to the top rope. Victoria climbed to the top, and then lept off backwards trying to hit her Moonsault! But Lita ran down to the ring, chair in hand. Molly and Gail saw Lita coming, and let go of Trish. Trish rolled out of the way, and Victoria hit the mat tit first. Victoria somehow got up to her feet, but was then hunched over by a Lita chairshot to the midsection. Lita then dropped the chair and delivered the Twist of Fate onto the chair! Lita picked Trish up, and checked to see if she was okay. They hugged as we went to commercial.

Jerry Lawler: Did you see that JR?

Jim Ross: Yes, Lita just saved Trish from a big beat down.

Jerry Lawler: No, did you see the way that Victoria was kind of getting into the whole spanking thing?

Jim Ross: Enough King.

Jerry Lawler: You don't think that Victoria has... some feelings for Trish? Oh man, that was great.

Jim Ross: Whatever you say King. When we get back from these commercials, we'll have Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade against Randy Orton and Batista.

OR: 65

CR: 82

MQ: 54

We come back from commercial and we're back in the ring. See that? Two matches in a row.

MARK JINDRAK AND GARRISON CADE VS BATISTA AND RANDY ORTON

Highlights: Apparently the crowd didn't dig this match. The mild lesbian activity of the previous match had the crowd in a frenzy, that this match couldn't continue. I don't entirely agree with that though. I mean, the one thing that could keep me in a frenzy after seeing Victoria rubbing Trish's ass is DEFINITELY Garrison Cade. Or not. Damn me and my tangents. Anyway, this started out as your typical squash match with Batista destroying everybody, while Orton just laughed on the ring apron. And it stayed that way for quite a while until basically the end where Batista made a rare tag out to Orton. Orton had control, but a Powerslam by Jindrak changed that. Orton, and Jindrak both made the tags to their respective partners and now that's where we leave off.

Ending: Cade comes in and he is a house of fire. A big running left hand from Cade has Batista reeling. Three more punches has Batista backed up into the corner. Cade turns around, and quickly ducks to avoid an Orton clothesline. Orton can't stop in time and ends up clotheslining Batista. Orton turns around, shocked. Cade lifts Orton up, as Jindrak bounces off of the ropes. Jindrak hits a Dropkick, while Cade hits a Spinebuster! Cade goes for the cover. But Orton isn't the legal man.

Cade gets up and turns around to find Batista. But instead he finds Batista's arm, as he gets drilled with a monster clothesline. Batista picks Cade up off of the ground and whips him hard into the corner. Batista charges at Cade to Avalanche him in the corner. Cade counters with a drop toe hold sending Batista face first into the middle turnbuckle. Cade then climbs to the top rope. Mark Jindrak climbs to the top rope on the other side.

Cade is about to go for a Dropkick. But Batista gets up, and Cade freezes on the top rope. Batista is yelling at Cade to jump. From behind Mark Jindrak leaps off of the top rope and hits a huge Missile Dropkick to the back of Batista. Batista stumbles forward, and Garrison Cade jumps off with a Missile Dropkick of his own taking the big man down! Cade covers Batista! 1... 2... Ric Flair (on the outside) puts Batista's foot on the bottom rope.

The referee stops the count, but then he sees Ric Flair smiling. The ref gets out of the ring and starts yelling at Flair to leave. Orton then sneakily picks up a chair on the outside of the ring. Orton slides into the ring, chair in hand, and blasts Jindrak in the head. Cade hears the commotion, and turns around. Orton goes for a big chair shot, but Cade ducks. Orton turns around, and BAMF, Cade dropkicks the chair back in Orton's face.

On the outside, Maven comes down to the ring, and grabs Ric Flair. Maven throws Flair into the barrier, and then hits a clothesline knocking him over the barrier and into the crowd. Maven and Flair then battle through the crowd to the backstage area. The referee has lost all semblance of order. He gets back into the ring and sees Cade covering Orton. 1... 2... THR... no! Someone puts Orton's foot onto the rope!

It's Christopher Nowinski! Cade gets up and starts fingerpointing at Nowinski. Cade turns around, and Batista is right there. Batista lifts up Cade and annihilates him with the Sit-Out Powerbomb. 1... 2... 3

Batista and Randy Orton def Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak via Pinfall after Christopher Nowinski interference

Commercials

OR: 55

CR: 48

MQ: 77

Jim Ross: That little Harvard punk Chris Nowinski just cost Jindrak and Cade the match.

Jerry Lawler: Well I certainly wasn't expecting that.

Jim Ross: Nowinski was just cleared to return after receiving a concussion from the Dudley Boyz, and he seems to have alligned himself with Evolution.

NEW EVOLUTION MEMBER?

The camera goes to the Evolution locker room. Orton, Batista, and Flair walk in celebrating. Although Orton is holding his head they seem to be in good spirits. Flair is in mid-sentence.

Flair: I left that punk lying in a pool of his own blood.

Triple H: How'd the match go boys?

Orton: How do you think Game? Nobody beats Evolution.

Triple H: Good, it's only a matter of time before them punks learn not to mess with Evolution. Just like that punk Goldberg. He played the Game, and won at Unforgiven, but when Survivor Series rolls around Goldberg will just have to realize that the Game has evolved. What he did at Unforgiven to beat me... That won't work anymore. I know what I did wrong, and I fixed it. That title of his? That's mine, and its coming back to me at Survivor Series. That is, if he even makes it to Survivor Series. I've got a feeling that we might not even let him walk out of Raw tonight with that title.

Flair: Re WHOOOOO lax Triple H, tonight isn't about Goldberg. Tonight is about Evolu...

Chris Nowinski walks into the room. Everyone stares at him awkwardly. Nowinski grabs Batista's hand and shakes it.

Nowinski: How ya doing pal?

Nowinski punches Orton in the arm.

Nowinski: How you been buddy?

Nowinski walks over to Flair, and Flair puts his hands up telling him to stay away. Nowinski gives Flair a double high five.

Nowinski: Hell of a match out there tonight, huh?

Nowinski walks over to Triple H and pats him on the shoulder. Nowinski scruffs up Triple H's hair.

Nowinski: Tough loss to Goldberg at Unforgiven.

Triple H: Whouuuh the helluh are youuh?

Nowinski: I'm Christopher Nowinski, Harvard Graduate, and newest member of Evolution.

Triple H: Newest member of Evolution? Get the hell out of here. Look at yourself kid. You're a scrawny little brainiac, that's most likely never gotten laid, so why don't you get the hell out of here.

Nowinski: That's not true! There was that one girl... no... well this one time... wait, no... Wait, you know what? You're making a big mistake by not letting me into Evolution. Let me prove to you that I belong.

Triple H: You want to prove that you belong? Fine, do it next week on Raw. You'll have a bit of a tryout match. And show up early because you're on first.

Nowinski: Oh I'll be here, don't you worry about that.

Nowinski walks out of the room leaving Evolution puzzled.

OR: 94

Jim Ross: I take that back, it seems like Nowinski wants to allign himself with Evolution but they want no part in him.

Jerry Lawler: Who does this kid think he is, disrespecting Evolution like that?

Jim Ross: I don't know King but up next is our tag team title match.

THE DUDLEY BOYZ © VS TEST AND SCOTT STEINER W/ STACY KEIBLER FOR THE WWE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES

Highlights: Test somehow managed to put on a watchable match with a broken foot. In fact, this is the match of the night. Anyway, if Test and Steiner win this match then Test is on Eric Bischoff's Survivor Series team. Scott Steiner spent most of the time in the ring with the Dudleyz because of Test's condition, but Test did get in the ring occasionally. Lets get to the ending, where Scott Steiner currently has D-Von Dudley worn out in the heel corner.

Ending: Scott Steiner irish whips D-Von into Test's corner. Test grabs D-Von's arms and holds them up, exposing his ribs as Steiner mercilessly throws punches at him. Bubba Ray runs into the ring to try to break it up, but the ref cuts him off and takes him back to his corner. While this happens, Test takes the tag rope and starts to strangle D-Von with it. Test lets go when the referee turns back around. D-Von is leaning against the top rope, trying to catch his breath. Steiner turns D-Von around, grabs him around the waist and hits him with a Spinning Belly to Belly suplex. Steiner lays down next to D-Von, and starts doing pushups while asking him who his daddy is.

Steiner eventually gets up, after all of his showboating. Steiner lifts up D-Von and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, D-Von ducks a Steinerline, and bounces off of the ropes again. On the rebound again, D-Von hits his Flying Shoulder Tackle taking Steiner down. Test runs into the ring, and gets the ref's attention. D-Von makes a desperation tag to Bubba Ray, but the ref didn't see it. Bubba Ray picks up Steiner, and sets him up for the Bubba Bomb! But the ref gets in between them, and gets Bubba Ray out of the ring. D-Von slowly limps back into the ring, and is met with a forearm shot from Steiner. D-Von stumbles forward into his corner. Steiner runs at him, but D-Von moves out of the way, and Steiner crashes into the turnbuckles face first. Steiner stumbles backwards and D-Von hits Steiner with the Saving Grace.

D-Von and Steiner are both down on the ground. D-Von is closer to his corner, so for dramatic purposes he isn't moving yet. Steiner on the other hand is crawling towards Test. Steiner tags in Test. Test hobbles quickly over to D-Von and tries to stop him from making the tag, but D-Von makes the tag!

Bubba Ray gets in, and Test is met with a clothesline. Steiner charges at Bubba, and eats an Inverted Atomic Drop, which has him hunched over grabbing his shriveled balls. Bubba Ray then drops Steiner with a real quick DDT. Bubba gets up, and turns around. Test charges in for the Big Boot. However, Bubba ducks the big Boot.

Test turns back around, and Bubba hits him with a succession of right hands. Bubba then grabs his own crotch, and looks to polish Test off with a Bionic Elbow. But, Bubba stops in mid Elbow, and then just stomps on Test's cast covered foot. Bubba straddles Test and starts laying into him with vicious punches to the side of the head. The ref gets Bubba Ray off of Test for using "closed fists." While he does this, Test reaches down to his feet and takes the cast off of his broken foot. When Bubba turns around Test swings his cast at Bubba Ray.

But Bubba Ray hits a boot to Test's midsection. Test drops the cast right below him. Bubba spins Test around and drills him with the Bubba Bomb right on the cast. Bubba Ray didn't see the cast, but the referee did! The referee disqualifies the Dudley Boyz!

Test and Scott Steiner def The Dudley Boyz via Disqualification

OR: 69

CR: 78

MQ: 77

AUSTIN BECOMES ONE MAN SHORT

Bubba Ray Dudley is fuming. He keeps yelling at the referee, when from behind Scott Steiner drops him with a Reverse DDT incapacitating him. Steiner then motions to the Steel Cage hanging up above, as the cage starts to lower. Steiner then calls to the back, as Chris Jericho and Christian run out to the ring. Jericho picks up the stairs, and throws them into the ring. Christian takes a chair into the ring with him. The cage then finally reaches the ring

Steiner throws Bubba Ray into the corner, and beats on him with Test. Christian and Jericho pull D-Von up to his feet. But they knock him right back down with a vile chairshot to the head. Jericho drags D-Von to the stairs, and places D-Von's hand on the top of the stairs. Christian lifts the chair up one more time, and brings it down right on D-Von's hand! The sound echoes throughout the building as D-Von rolls around holding his hand. Christian then motions for Test and Scott Steiner to send Bubba Ray over. Test and Steiner stop grating Bubba's face against the mesh cage and whip him over to Jericho and Christian. Jericho hits Bubba Ray with a drop toe hold, dropping him face first on top of the stairs. Bubba just lays there, as Christian picks up the chair over his head. "One of a Kind" hits on the PA system and it seems like RVD is going to be making the save. But instead, Booker T walks out. He slowly strolls to the ring But RVD comes from the crowd, and scales the cage quickly. He gets to the top of the cage, as Booker T tells them all to turn around. The heel team turn around, and RVD leaps off of the top of the cage with a Somersault Press onto Test and Scott Steiner!!!!!! Booker T then charges down to the ring. Jericho and Steiner see Booker T coming, so they try to get out of the cage by climbing over it. RVD, climbs up after Christian. Booker T climbs up the cage after Jericho. Christian gets to the top of the cage, and straddles it as he tries to get over. RVD gets to the top turnbuckle, and sees Christian at the top. RVD walks along the ropes to where he is directly under Christian. He uses the ropes as a springboard, leaps up and delivers a spinning heel kick to the back of Christian's head. RVD falls hard to the mat, but Christian tumbles all the way from the top of the cage right down to the mat! Booker T tries catching Jericho, but Jericho was too quick. Jericho climbed over the cage, and hauled ass through the crowd to get out of dodge. Booker T helped up RVD and the Dudleyz as they celebrated till we go to commercial. However, D-Von was still favoring his hand.

OR: 74

Jim Ross: Bubba Ray didn't know that the cast was there, it's Test's fault.

Jerry Lawler: He might not have known, but he used it anyway. So now Test is in the Survivor Series match.

Jim Ross: And what about that beat down in the cage? D-Von looks like he has a broken hand! And Christian got dropped on his head from the top of the cage.

Jerry Lawler: That was brutal JR... brutal.

WHAT LIES IN SHANE'S FUTURE?

As we come back from our commercial break, we see Kane standing around in a parking lot.

Kane: Shane McMahon... Let's take a stroll down memory lane together shall we? July 28 - You made your big return to the WWE to avenge "mommy". You beat me with your chair, and you even managed to throw me off the side of the ramp. But, much like what will happen at Survivor Series, I walked out of the arena smiling.

August 4 - Shane, you remember this day don't you? Remember how I picked you up and chokeslammed you into the ring post? Do you remember how I Tombstoned you onto the Ring Steps!?

Kane starts laughing.

Kane: No? Well if I got dropped on my head that hard, then I wouldn't remember either.

August 25 - You thought that August 25th was the night that you finally ridded yourself of me. When you threw me into that flaming dumpster, you thought I was going to burn in hell. Well let me tell you something Shane.

Growing visibly more angry.

Kane: I've been to hell Shane, and that dumpster isn't hell. That flaming dumpster is a playground. That flaming dumpster is my home! You see Shane, I've been burned before. And it made me into the monster that you see right now. Nothing, including a flaming dumpster can bring back the pain that the fire started by my brother, the Undertaker, caused.

September 1 - Ah, you thought you had finally disposed of me, but the only thing that ended up being disposed of was the McMahon family name. How did it feel Shane? How did it feel to have them jumper cables applied to the most sensitive area on your body? How does it feel to know that as much as you and your wife try, you'll never be able to have Shane Jr. all because of me! I can answer that... Not nearly as bad as what I have in store for you at Survivor Series will feel.

September 15 - That night we signed our contract for the Last Man Standing match. And you being the opportunistic bastard that you are, attacked me. And as the saying goes, "An eye for an eye, a ball for a ball." You hit me there FOUR TIMES Shane, FOUR TIMES. But you know what? That doesn't bother me. I don't have a beautiful wife like you Shane. I can't go home and have sex whenever the hell I feel like it. Nobody would ever sleep with a hideous looking monster like me.

September 21 - Unforgiven... Shane do you remember calling me the Big Red Retard? Well I certainly do, and I find it hilarious that you could call me retarded and then go and BEAT YOURSELF in a Last Man Standing match. You had me down Shane, and you may have won the match, but instead you dove off of the Titantron and put yourself through the damn steel stage. Whose the retard now Shane? You put yourself in the hospital... I just helped you stay there longer when I beat the living hell out of you there the week after.

October 6 - You almost did it this time Shane. You sent me flying in that limo, right into the side of that truck. You showed me what you were capable of doing... and it was nothing. You gave me a couple of scratches. A bruise here, and a bruise there. If that's your best, then you truly don't stand a chance in the Ambulance Match. Shane, I don't know what you have in store for me, but I do have a sneak peek of what I have in store for you.

Kane then walks away. The camera turns to the right, and an ambulance is seen bursting into flames!

OR: 80

Jim Ross: Is Kane saying that he plans on lighting up the ambulance with Shane inside of it?

Jerry Lawler: Ding ding ding... we've got a genius on our hands. I think that was kind of self explanitory JR. But up next we have our World Heavyweight Title match with Mark Henry and Goldberg.

MARK HENRY VS Goldberg © FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Highlights: The bell rang.

Ending: Mark Henry got into the ring, and charged at Goldberg, only to be Speared. Goldberg lifted Mark Henry up, put him in a front facelock and hit him with a huge Jackhammer. Goldberg made the cover. 1... 2... 3.

Goldberg def Mark Henry via Pinfall

After the match Evolution's music hits. Triple H, Batista, Randy Orton and Ric Flair stroll out to the ring. They take their sweet time getting there. Goldberg is anxiously waiting their arrival, when from behind Chris Nowinski drills Goldberg in the head with a chair. Evolution then get in the ring, and take turn putting the stomps to Goldberg. But, then HBK runs out to the ring. He gets in there, and starts brawling with all four members of Evolution, and Chris Nowinski. HBK nails Triple H with a clothesline, then a big right hand for Batista, and another clothesline for Randy Orton. HBK turns around and walks into a Thumb to the Eye from Ric Flair. Nowinski then drills HBK in the head with the chair! Now they start putting the boots to both men, when Maven, Garrison Cade, and Mark Jindrak all run out to the ring with Chairs in hand. The five heels flee from the ring. Evolution poses together at the top of the stage, while Chris Nowinski just walks to the back, hoping to have proved himself to Evolution.

OR: 61

CR: 71

MQ: 64

Jim Ross: Goldberg just demolished Mark Henry! So Mark Henry is no longer a member of Raw. Let's just hope that he takes that annoying Theodore Long with him.

Jerry Lawler: Maven, Garrison Cade, and Mark Jindrak just saved Shawn Michaels and Goldberg. Now that is something you don't see every day.

Jim Ross: Well you know how Evolution is. They like to pick their spots. Good night folks. We'll see you next week on Raw, where we'll have clips of an interview Jonathan Coachman did with Road Warrior Animal after the recent passing of Michael Hegstrand. Linda McMahon will also be here with a blockbuster announcement. So be sure to tune in next week.

Show Rating: 73

Edited by Essa
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WWE Smackdown

November 6, 2003

VINCE APPRECIATION NIGHT?

Before the opening Smackdown pyro, and video package we cut backstage to Paul Heyman’s office. The camera focuses in on Paul Heyman filling out some paperwork. Heyman looks up and sees the camera, and puts a smile on his face.

Paul Heyman: Two weeks ago, I made a rookie mistake. Being a General Manager is a lot different then just overseeing things, like I did in Extreme Championship Wrestling. And I’ll admit it, I made an error in judgement when I let the Undertaker choose to fight Vince McMahon in a Buried Alive match. I also made an error in judgement when I gave the Undertaker the night off. But tonight, I’m here to rectify them mistakes. Because, tonight to show my appreciation for Vince McMahon giving me the job as General Manager of Smackdown, I’m going to make some changes to what happened last week. Tonight, The Undertaker will wrestle two members of Team Lesnar, Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones, in a Handicap Match with two stipulations. For one, things will be taken TO THE EXTREME because this will be a No Disqualification Match. Heyman scratchers his chin. Oh, and the other stipulation? If The Undertaker loses, the Buried Alive Match at Survivor Series is off! And speaking of Survivor Series, Brock Lesnar, representing Team Lesnar, and A-Train will wrestle John Cena, representing Team Angle. You see Cena, you can’t just go around doing whatever you damn well please on my show. And that’s exactly what you did last week when you FU’d A-Train, your tag team partner for that evening. So, tonight, you’ll face the repercussions of your actions. But that’s not all, by decree of Vince McMahon, everyone’s favorite 7 foot tall, 500 pound giant, The Big Show will battle Smackdown’s newest superstar, who was illegally stolen by Raw, Mark Henry in a match with The United States Heavyweight Title on the line. The World’s Strongest Man vs The Biggest Man In Wrestling? I’ve got nothing to say but Damn. Oh, and well there’s another thing. Mark, I’d watch my back if I were you. A knock is heard on the door.

Rhyno: Can I come in boss?

Paul Heyman: Just one second. Enjoy the show because tonight is Vince McMahon Appreciation Night.

OR: 81

TAJIRI ©) VS ULTIMO DRAGON - CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE

[*]Cruiserweight Title is on the Line

[*]Title Changes Hands on Pinfall, Submission, or Referees Decision

[*]Title Doesn’t Change Hands on Countout or Disqualification

Highlights: A great back and forth match between these two. Lately Tajiri, and his partners in crime Kyo Dai have been having a lot of run ins with Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble and Rey Mysterio Jr. But, thats enough background information. These two balanced technical wrestling, and some high flying with the addition of a bunch of stiff kicks. Towards the end, Ultimo Dragon had the advantage over Tajiri, and it looked like a new Cruiserweight Champion would be crowned.

End Of Match: Ultimo had Tajiri backed into the ropes. Ultimo started nailing Tajiri with knife edge chops that could be heard throughout the entire HGBC Arena. Ultimo then backed up to the other end of the ring, and charged at Tajiri. Tajiri went to lock in the Tarantula on Ultimo, but he couldn’t lock it in. Ultimo used Tajiri’s momentum to dump him over the top rope and to the ground. Tajiri stumbled around on the outside, and when he looked up, all he saw was Ultimo Dragon flying at him and hitting the Asai Moonsault. Ultimo picked up Tajiri and rolled him right back into the ring. Ultimo gets on the ring apron, and goes to hit a Springboard Moonsault onto Tajiri. But, Tajiri moves out of the way and Ultimo lands on his feet. Ultimo turns around, and WHACK, a stiff kick from Tajiri catches Ultimo right in the chest. Ultimo drops to his knees. Tajiri winds up to hit the kick of death on Ultimo, but Ultimo ducks the kick. Ultimo lunges forward and crashes into Tajiri’s knee taking him down. At this time, Akio and Sakoda slowly started walking to the ring. Ultimo picked up Tajiri, and locked him in the Dragon Sleeper. The referee checked on Tajiri, but Tajiri wouldn’t submit just yet. But, before long he jumped up and went for his Dragon Sleeper Reverse DDT. However, Akio grabbed Ultimo’s foot as he was in the air. Ultimo couldn’t complete the move, and he was in a prone position on Tajiri’s shoulder. Akio let go, and Tajiri fell backwards, hitting Ultimo with a back suplex. Tajiri got up quickly, and waited for Ultimo. Ultimo got up to one knee when Tajiri delivered the Kick of Death to the face of Ultimo Dragon. Tajiri made the cover. 1, 2, 3.

Winner: Tajiri

Afterwards, Akio and Sakoda got into the ring. They took off their suit jackets and then lifted Ultimo Dragon to his feet. Together, the three members of Kyo Dai stood in a circle shoving Ultimo Dragon around to each other. They were toying around with him, until Akio and Tajiri each grabbed an arm. Sakoda then spun around in a circle and delivered a Roaring Elbow knocking Ultimo unconscious. But, it didn’t end there for Ultimo as Akio scaled the top turnbuckle. Akio leapt off the top turnbuckle and nailed a Corkscrew Moonsault onto the unconscious Dragon. Kyo Dai then started to stomp on Ultimo Dragon together, until Rey Mysterio Jr, and Jamie Noble ran out from backstage brandishing steel chairs. When Rey and Noble got into the ring, Kyo Dai noticed and scampered off to the back leaving Rey and Noble to tend to their fallen comrade as Smackdown went to a commercial.

OR: 71

CR: 63

MQ: 96

*** 3/4

Cruiser Title gains in image.

CARD IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Mark Henry in front of a Smackdown backdrop. It’s pretty much a chain link fence with a Smackdown sign on it and two garbage cans with the Smackdown emblem plastered all over them. Josh is apparently going to interview Mark Henry.

Josh Matthews: Mark Henry, it’s good to have you back here on Smackdown, after seeing you on Raw for a couple of months.

Mark Henry: Thanks Josh, it’s good to be back. Smadow ih my rea home, but that chump Theore

I guess Theodore is too big of a word for Mark.

Mark Henry: Lon talked me into goin ta Raw. Buh now I’m back, and I’ma pick up righ whe I left off by provin I’m da World’s Strongest Man.

Josh Matthews: I see, but the question on everybody’s mind Mark is, do you think that all of the boys in the back will resent you for coming back to Smackdown and getting put in a United States Title Match right away?

Mark Henry: Na, I hope dat all da boys will treat may jus like they did befo...

From out of nowhere Rhyno Gores the hell out of the speech slurring tough guy. The impact of Rhyno hitting Henry, and Henry hitting the fence is enough to send the fence toppling over, and the garbage cans tumbling down on top of the hurt Mark Henry. What will this mean for the US Title match tonight?

OR: 74

THE BASHAM BROTHERS W/ SHANIQUA ©) VS BILLY GUNN & RIKISHI W/ TORRIE WILSON - TAG TEAM TITLES

Highlights: So it’s the Bashams vs Billy Gunn and Rikishi. Well Gunn and Rikishi isn’t a totally random pairing, as both apparently seem to appreciate a well groomed man ass. The opening minutes of this match had the Basham’s in complete control over Billy Gunn, mostly through using frequent tags, with Gunn playing ‘face in peril’ for most of the match.

Ending: Danny Basham has Billy Gunn in the corner. Basham measures up Gunn and lays into him with a series of hard forearms. Basham backs out of the corner, and charges in looking to hit Billy with a clothesline. Billy tries to move out of the way, but Doug Basham grabs Gunn’s hair from the outside and pulls him right back into place as Danny avalanches him in the corner.

Danny tags Doug in. Danny grabs Billy Gunn by the legs and Slingshots him, but instead of letting him go, he locks Gunn’s knees into place so that Gunn is standing. Doug Basham then gets a head of steam and hits a Leg Lariat right to the face of the defenseless Billy Gunn. Doug Basham makes the cover. 1, 2, Rikishi is in the ring, and stomps on Doug Basham breaking up the pinfall.

Doug gets up, and charges into Rikishi’s corner. Doug goes to punch Rikishi, but Rikishi blocks the punch and grabs Doug’s arm. Rikishi jumps off the apron, and slams Doug’s arm right down onto the top rope. Doug favors his arm, and then turns around right into a Tilt-A-Whirl Slam from Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn waits for Doug to start to get back to his feet. Billy seems to be looking for the FameAsser, but from behind Danny Basham gets in the ring and grabs Billy.

Doug sees this and quickly runs towards Danny. Together they hit the Ball & Gag. Doug makes another cover. 1, Rikishi tries to get in the ring, but Shaniqua grabs his leg. 2, Torrie Wilson jumps on Shaniqua’s back to free up Rikishi’s foot. Rikishi gets in the ring and tries to break up the pinfall but he’s too slow. 3.

Winners: The Basham Brothers

After the match, Shaniqua grabs Torrie by her hair and flings her over the shoulder and onto the protective mats outside the ring. Torrie slowly wobbles up to her feet, and when she does she is nearly decapitated by a big boot from Shaniqua. Shaniqua locks arms with both Basham Brothers and walks back up the entrance ramp, when we see Dawn-Marie Wilson running down the ramp. She runs over to where Torrie is lying down, and puts Torrie’s head in her lap trying to comfort her as we cut to another commercial.

OR: 58

CR: 63

MQ: 67

*

Doug Basham debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Danny Basham gained overness from this match. Doug Basham gained overness from this match. The WWE Tag Team title has lost image.

KEEPING IT IN THE (STEP)FAMILY?

As we come back from commercial, the camera is in Torrie Wilson’s dressing room. Torrie is sitting on a couch crying after the beating she just received. She is holding her head like she has a headache. The camera focuses in on the rest of the couch, and we see Dawn Marie Wilson sitting right next to her.

Dawn: Shhhh... It’s alright.

Torrie Is Sobbing.

Torrie: Thanks Dawn. I really appreciate you helping me out, given our history and all with my father.

Dawn: I just did what any good stepmother would do. And, as far as I’m concerned lets just forget about everything that went down between us. Okay?

Torrie: Yeah, I’d like that.

Dawn puts on a sinister smile, as we cut to another locker room.

OR: 83

Dawn Marie gained overness.

TEAM ANGLE MEETING

This time the camera is in the Team Angle locker room. Faarooq, Bradshaw and Kurt Angle are sitting at a round table drinking beer, and playing poker. Except Kurt Angle has a big bottle of Yoohoo instead of beer. Chris Benoit is on the ground right next to them doing situps. Benoit stands up, and looks frustrated.

Benoit: Yanno guys, we’re aboot three days away from Survivor Series and I’m going to be teaming with three out of shape drunks, and a guy that I haven’t even met yet. Don’t you see something wrong with this?

Kurt: Whoooooo this Yoohoo is some good freaking stuff. You two didn’t spike it on me did you?

Bradshaw: Damnit boy, here’s a real man’s drink.

Bradshaw hands Kurt a beer.

Kurt: I’ll save this bad boy for later. But seriously Chris, I told you not to worry about that. Lets look at the facts here. We’re going against Big Show, Nathan Jones, Brock Lesnar, and Matt Morgan so far. So, we’ve got a 500 pound load of crap, the Crocodile Hunter, Brock “You Tapped Out” Lesnar, oh it’s true, and... What the hell is a Matt Morgan? And I have no idea who their fifth member is going to be, but it looks like it’ll be A-Train. This guy needs to change his name to A-Gorilla. Seriously, he looks like something out of Harry and the Hendersons. Now, do you really think we’re going to need to be in tip top shape to run circles around these guys? I don’t think so.

Benoit: Alright Kurt, maybe you have a point, but I’m going to show up prepared at Survivor Series whether the three of you do or not. And, god damnit Kurt, please tell me that John Cena isn’t our fifth man.

Kurt: Actually Benoit, I put a lot of thought into deciding who our fifth team member will be, and it ISN’T John Cena. I’m not going to tell you who it is because that would ruin the surprise when you see him for the first time in a while, but keep your eyes peeled because I have a feeling we might see him soon.

Benoit: As long as it isn’t Cena. I’m going to snap him limb from limb when I lock him in the Crossface. It might not happen this week, or next week but you can bet your ass it’ll happen.

Kurt: Yeah... About that, I think maybe you should quit giving Cena such a hard time. Last week he FU’ed A-Train instead of attacking us, so I just thought that maybe he isn’t such a bad guy after all. So I’m thinking about maybe returning the favor tonight.

Benoit: Kurt we’re a team but you aren’t my boss. I’m going to hurt whoever I damn well want to hurt.

Benoit starts walking out of the room.

Benoit: God!

Benoit slams the door.

Faarooq: Damn.

The three men shrug their shoulders and then deal another round of cards.

OR: 88

NATHAN JONES & MATT MORGAN VS THE UNDERTAKER

No Disqualification

Both Wrestlers Are Allowed In The Ring With The Undertaker At The Same Time

If Undertaker Loses, The Buried Alive Match Is Cancelled

Highlights: So much for The Undertaker having the night off. This match stemmed from Paul Heyman’s announcement that kicked off the show. It started out with a stare down between Jones and Taker because of their history together. This match wasn’t very good, but I don’t really think anyone expected it to be. The bulk of the match consisted of double teaming from Jones and Morgan. Undertaker got the occasional offensive spurt, but he always ended up grounded by the two hosses.

Match Ending: Morgan and Jones had Undertaker propped up against the turnbuckles. Morgan went to the ring apron, and grabbed Taker’s arms, holding them behind the ring post while Jones pounded on Taker in the corner. Jones backed out of the corner, and ran at Taker. Taker moved, and Jones smashed into the turnbuckles hard. Morgan ran at Taker on the ring apron, but was met with a clothesline knocking him down to the outside floor. Taker turned around and saw Nathan Jones running at him. Taker drilled him with a Sidewalk Slam. Taker made the cover. 1, 2, Morgan was back in the ring and broke up the pinfall attempt.

Morgan lifted Taker up off the ground and went for an Irish Whip, but Taker reversed it, and sent Morgan running towards him. Taker caught Morgan with a Running DDT. 1, 2, Jones breaks it up with a leg drop across the neck of The Undertaker.

The Undertaker slowly rolls off of Morgan and takes some time to get to his feet. While Undertaker is getting to his feet, Jones reaches into his pants and pulls out a boomerang. Wait, correction, it’s a chain. When the Undertaker finally gets to his feet and turns around he is busted wide open when Jones punches him in the face with the chain wrapped around his hand. Instead of going for the cover, Jones lifts up Undertaker. Jones whips Taker into the corner and follows it up with a big clothesline.

By this time, Morgan is back to his feet and he too reaches into his pants. Morgan instead pulls out two pairs of handcuffs. Each man takes a pair of handcuffs and locks Undertaker’s arms to both sides of the top ropes. Undertaker tries to get free but he is stopped quickly by a barrage of punches and kicks from Jones & Morgan. WATCH ME NOW!!!! I AM THE GREATEST!!! It’s Ernest ‘The Cat’ Miller!

The Cat runs down to the ring, and is cut off my Matt Morgan. Morgan and Cat go punch for punch until Morgan misses a big haymaker that Cat ducks under. Morgan turns around and is met with a sidekick to the face. Jones sees this and turns around to fight Cat, but he doesn’t really get a chance. Cat catches Jones with a throat thrust. Jones staggers around to try and head for the hills but the Undertaker manages to boot him in the face. Jones turns back around, and Cat busts out a James Brown-esque dance move before drilling Jones with the Feliner.

The Cat then drags Jones to where he is right by the turnbuckle. The bloody Undertaker manages to get his foot on top of Jones, even though he is handcuffed to the top rope. The referee shrugs his shoulders and then makes the count anyway. 1, 2, 3. Undertaker wins and gets uncuffed as we go to commercial.

Winner(s): The Undertaker

OR: 57

CR: 60

MQ: 68

*

THE GM ISN’T HAPPY... OR IS HE?

The camera is back in Paul Heyman’s office. He is sitting at his desk.

Heyman: Damnit, who the hell is this Cat guy? He comes out of nowhere and literally break dances all over Team Lesnar. This guy is nothing but a joke, but I can guarantee that when he gets in the ring with Team Lesnar, there won’t be anything to laugh at. Now I’m going to have Vince McMahon breathing down my back when he comes back next week from his little vacation with Sable.

Rhyno barges into the room.

Rhyno: I did it boss. I took out Mark Henry.

Heyman: How’d you do it?

Rhyno: He was doing an interview and I ran up to him and nailed him with the

Heyman: Gore!!! Gore!!!! GORE!!!!!

Rhyno: Yeah, that’s it.

Heyman: Good, we would have been screwed if you didn’t take out Henry because I’ve already made the appropriate changes to the card.

Rhyno: Whose taking his place?

Heyman: It’s

a knock is heard at the door

Heyman: Come in.

Bradshaw swings the door open and stumbles in obviously looking drunk.

Bradshaw: Whaddya want ya no good bastard?

Rhyno gets in Bradshaw’s face.

Heyman: Whoa whoa whoa relax big guy. Bradshaw, I’m not going to start any trouble with you, even though you are on Team Angle. The reason I called you in here is because I’m going to reward you.

Bradshaw: Huh? You mean you’re gonna give me more beer?

Heyman: No, not quite. But I am going to give you something.

Rhyno gives Heyman an odd look.

Heyman: I’m going to give you a shot at the United States Title against The Big Show.

Bradshaw: Alright, I’ll see you next week when I take your boy’s title.

Heyman: You must not have understood me, your match isn’t next week. It’s UP NEXT. Now get the hell out of my office.

Bradshaw: Ya know something Heyman, I might not be in the best physical state to be wrestling right now, but I don’t plan on wrestling. I’m going to go out there and beat the hell out of that fat piece of crap.

Rhyno: I suggest you listen to the man, Bradshaw unless you want to end up in a hospital bed right next to Mark Henry.

Bradshaw stumbles out of the room obviously drunk. Once he gets out of the room, Los Guerreros barge in.

Eddie Guerrero: Yo homes, what's up with Billy and Rikishi getting Tag Title shots tonight?

Chavo Guerrero: Yeah bro, we're the only team deserving of Tag Title shots.

Eddie Guerrero: We want a shot soon vato, very soon.

Paul Heyman: First of all, you two should be fired for bursting into my office like this. Second of all, who the hell do you think you're calling a "vato?" And third of all... you're right. You guys do deserve a shot at the Tag Team Titles. But you know that I can't just give you guys a title shot. You guys are going to have to earn your shot at the titles next week, in a Number One Contenders Match with The World's Greatest Tag Team. Now you two get the hell out of here before Rhyno gets rid of you, for me.

Eddie is about to say something back to Paul, but Rhyno snarls and Los Guerrero's decide to just leave.

OR: 92

Paul Heyman gained overness.

BIG SHOW © VS BRADSHAW - UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Match Ending: This match was one of the quickest matches in WWE history. Bradshaw tried getting into the ring but being in his drunken state he tripped on the bottom rope and stumbled forward where he was met with a monstrous Chokeslam from Big Show. Big Show covered Bradshaw. 1, 2, 3. We cut to a commercial as Big Show was jaw jacking Bradshaw.

Winner: The Big Show

OR: 65

CR: 74

MQ: 74

**

BROCK LESNAR & A-TRAIN VS JOHN CENA

Highlights: Brock and A-Train came out first to a lot of boos. Cena then came out to a mixture of cheers and boos. He got halfway down the ramp when he stopped walking and pointed to the back. Out came Kurt Angle and now the sides were even. The match was going to start with Cena and Brock, but the fans started up a “You Tapped Out” chant, so Cena tagged Kurt in before the match really got under way. Kurt got most of the offense in on Brock, until Brock managed to slow Kurt down by catching him in a Bearhug.

Match Ending: Brock has the Bearhug locked in on Kurt. Kurt tries to fight out of it with Mongolian Chops to the head of Brock, but Brock still keeps the hold locked in. Kurt doesn’t tap out, so Brock hits him with a Belly To Belly Suplex. Brock picked up Kurt and kneed him in the gut hunching Kurt over. Brock pushed Kurt back into the heel corner. Brock then started shoulder butting Kurt’s ribs. Brock then made the tag in to the A-Train.

Train got in and clubbed Kurt in the back knocking him down to the mat. Kurt tried scattering away from the A-Train, but he found himself with his head underneath the ring rope. A-Train grabbed Kurt’s legs and Guillotined him using the bottom rope.

Kurt rolled on the ground holding his throat. A-Train picked up Kurt and put his head in between his legs. A-Train went for the Train Wreck, but Kurt fought out of it and did a Double Leg Takedown to the A-Train. Kurt then rolled A-Train over and went for the Ankle Lock, but A-Train was too strong still.

A-Train quickly got to his feet when Kurt went to make the tag to Cena. A-Train quickly cut Kurt off with a Pump Kick right to the face of Angle. A-Train covered Kurt. 1, 2, kickout. A-Train argues with the ref as Kurt makes it back to his feet. Kurt goes to try and make the tag again, but he senses A-Train coming up behind him. Kurt dodges A-Train, gets behind him and delivers a German Suplex out of desperation.

Both men get back to their feet at about the same time. Kurt gets to his corner and goes to slap hands with John Cena, but Cena jumps off of the apron to the floor below. Kurt’s jaw drops at how the man he tried to befriend betrayed him.

But he didn’t have much time to be surprised as A-Train scooped him onto his shoulders from behind, and delivered the Train Wreck. A-Train made the cover. 1, 2, 3.

Winners: Brock Lesnar & A-Train

OR: 74

CR: 85

MQ: 79

** 3/4

BENOIT WAS RIGHT

After the match was over, the mandatory post match beat down began. Cena slid back in the ring, and started taunting Kurt. Kurt was so enraged by Cena that he tried to get up to his feet and fight him. But Cena didn’t let him get too far, because he decimated Kurt with an FU before doing his “You Can’t See Me” taunt. A-Train, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena kept putting the boots to Kurt until Ernest Miller, Faarooq, and Chris Benoit came out and chased them away. The show went off the air with Ernest Miller and Faarooq trying to revive Kurt, while Benoit just stood there shaking his head saying “I was right.”

OR: 81

Kurt Angle lost overness from this segment. A-Train gained overness from this segment. Brock Lesnar lost overness from this segment. John Cena's turn was completed, and he is now a heel. John Cena gained overness from this turn.

Show Rating: 73

Edited by Essa
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WWE Velocity

November 8, 2003

JASON BLACKMAN vs ORLANDO JORDAN

Velocity kicks off with Jason Blackman already standing in the ring. Orlando Jordan came out to a very modest crowd reaction. Jordan and Blackman started off looking like they were going for a collar and elbow tie up, but Blackman instead caught Jordan with a thumb to the eye, establishing himself as a heel. Blackman then kneed Jordan in the gut hunching him over. Blackman started hitting clubs to Jordans back. With Jordan bent over, Blackman bounced himself off of the ropes and went to hit a knee lift. Jordan backed out of the way of it, and waited for Blackman to turn around. When Blackman turned, Jordan nailed him with a dropkick. Blackman got back up and got taken down right away with another dropkick. Blackman started to get to his feet again, but he saw Jordan prepping for another dropkick, so he just slowly got to his feet in the corner. When Blackman gets up, he looks like he is going to lock up with Jordan again. But once again, Blackman tries to poke Jordan in the eye. But Jordan anticipated it this time, and grabs Blackman's finger. Jordan spins Blackman around by the finger and waffles him with a clothesline. Jordan waits for Blackman to get up, and when he does Blackman is met with a left hand from Jordan... And another... And then a right hand. Blackman starts to stumble backwards, Jordan does the Johnson Shuffle and then levels Blackman with a huge haymaker. Jordan goes for the cover. 1, 2, kickout. Jordan gets up quickly and picks up Blackman. Jordan goes for his Delayed Neckbreaker, but Blackman pushes him off. Jordan bounces off of the ropes, and on the rebound Blackman goes for a Leap Frog. But, Jordan stops short and hits a Spinebuster Slam on Blackman. Jordan holds onto Blackman's legs and then turns him over. Jordan locks Blackman in the Boston Crab (but the old Jericho version from WCW). Blackman taps out immediately.

WINNER: ORLANDO JORDAN

OR: 48

CR: 33

MQ: 64

WORLD'S GREATEST HYPE INTERVIEW :shifty:

We cut backstage to Mark Lloyd. He's just standing around, when The World's Greatest Tag Team walk by.

Mark Lloyd: Charlie, Shelton, can I get a word with you?

Charlie Haas: Whoa, hold it right there short stuff. When you talk to us, you address us as The World's Greatest Tag Team, not Charlie and Shelton. Now Mark, make it quick. What's on your mind?

Mark Lloyd: This coming Thursday on Smackdown you have a match with Los Guerrero's. If the Guerreros win then they will go onto Survivor Series to face the Basham Brothers for the

Shelton Benjamin: Dadadadada. Are you done yet? Look we know what's up with this match on Smackdown. We know that we have nothing to lose, and hell, nothing to gain either. Well, no that's not entirely right. Because we get to redeem ourselves when we win this match. The Guerrero's took our Tag Team Titles from us and ended our reign as tag team champions. Now it's our turn to end their reign as tag team title contenders.

Charlie Haas: Exactly right Shelton. This is all about pride. Sure, we might not be getting a title shot if we win, but neither will the Guerrero's and that alone is worth putting 150 % into this match.

Mark Lloyd: I see, now what about your match tonight with Spanky and Paul London?

Charlie Haas: Spanky, and Paul London... Of all the people in the world to be, I'd least want to be one of these guys after we're through with them. These past few months haven't been necessarily good for The World's Greatest Tag Team. We have a lot of pent up frustration and anger and it is all going to get taken out on these two tonight. Tonight I just don't want to beat these guys, I want to break all the damn bones in their body.

Shelton Benjamin: Come on Mark, wouldn't you be angry too? If you went from being a tag team champion, to losing your titles, to dealing with injuries and then picking up right where you left off with your losing streak, wouldn't you be angry? Well we sure as hell are. But, no Charlie you're not entirely right. Because tonight, Spanky and London, you two are just going to be a tune up match for us. All of my frustration won't be taken out on you two, because I'm saving it all for you Chavo and Eddie. Tonight you two are going to help us get right back on the right track. You're just going to help us prove exactly why we're the World's Greatest Tag Team.

Shelton and Charlie walk away as we go to a commercial..

OR: 63

JOHNNY STAMBOLI VS JIMMY JACOBS

We come back and Jimmy Jacobs is already inside the ring. He wears a normal looking wrestling attire, except he has these big furry boots on his feet. Jacobs starts marching around the ring "HUSSSS"ing at the crowd. Johnny Stamboli comes out next, without his FBI counterparts with him for whatever reason. Stamboli gets in the ring and they don't waste any time in getting this match started. A lock up between the two has Stamboli sending Jacobs to the ground with a simple shove. Jacbobs grabs his back and gets right back up. They go for another lock up, but again Stamboli sends Jacobs to the ground. Jacobs gets up again and makes like he's going to lock up. Instead Jacobs hits a basement dropkick right to the knee of Stamboli. Stamboli drops down to one knee, but quickly gets back up, only for Jacobs to take him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Jacobs yells out HUSS and then walks over Johnny Stamboli's stomach, like you'd expect a 400 pounder to do. Jacobs is toying with Stamboli here. Jacobs waits for Stamboli to get up, and lunges at him with a Spinning Heel Kick, but Stamboli counters it by grabbing Jacobs out of mid air and hitting a side slam. Stamboli picks up Jacobs and lifts him up over his head. Stamboli looks to be going for the Fuggettaboutit, but Jacobs falls behind him and lands on his feet. Jacobs charges at Stamboli but gets planted with a massive Powerslam. Stamboli gets up and makes a nonchalant cover, but Jacobs manages to get out of it at a two count. Jacobs is still down, so Stamboli goes over to the corner. Stamboli uses the top rope to propel himself up to the turnbuckle, Stamboli quickly leaps off with a Spinning Leg Drop, but Jacobs rolls out of the way. Jacobs is back up onto his feet now, and is waiting for Stamboli. Stamboli gets up, and Jacobs catches him with a quick DDT. Jacobs again is waiting for Stamboli to get to his feet. Jacobs charges at him, and goes for a flying crossbody. But Stamboli catches him in mid air. Stamboli lifts him up over his head in Military Press position. Stamboli drops him and hits the Fuggettaboutit. Stamboli covers Jacobs. 1, 2, 3.

WINNER: JOHNNY STAMBOLI

OR: 50

CR: 41

MQ: 60

FUNAKI VS CHRIS KANYON

After a short little Live Events Calendar Video, Funaki and Kanyon come out to the ring for their match. The wrestlers initiate in a grapple, and after a short feeling out process Funaki has a wristlock locked in on Kanyon. Kanyon manages to wrestle out of it and lock a headlock in on Funaki. Funaki shoves Kanyon off into the ropes, and on the rebound Kanyon collides with Funaki. Funaki falls down flat on his back, while Kanyon spins around in a circle with his arms out in the air, taunting the crowd. But Funaki is up on his feet, and dropkicks Kanyon in the back. Kanyon falls forward and his momentum carries him right over the top rope and to the floor. Kanyon starts to regroup on the floor outside. But that is short lived, because Funaki leaps over the top rope and catches Kanyon with a Plancha. Funaki picks up Kanyon and walks him back to the ring. Funaki goes to roll Kanyon into the ring, but Kanyon elbows Funaki in the gut. Kanyon then grabs Funaki by the hair and smashes him face first into the ring apron. Kanyon then rolls Funaki into the ring. Kanyon picks up Funaki and whips him into the corner. Kanyon follows him in with a splash into the corner. Kanyon then lifts Funaki up so that he was sitting on the top turnbuckle. Kanyon then kneeled down so that he was right under Funaki. Kanyon stood up, and lifted Funaki so that he was now sitting on Kanyon's shoulders. Kanyon tried to hit Funaki with an Electric Chair Drop, but Funaki spun around and hit a Hurricanranna on Kanyon. While Kanyon was down, Funaki then stumbled across the ring to the corner, and climbed all the way up to the top turnbuckle. Kanyon was still down, and it took him a few seconds to get back to his feet. Kanyon was still out on his feet, or so it seemed. Funaki leaped off of the top turnbuckle and went for a flying clothesline on Kanyon, but Kanyon caught Funaki's outstretched arm and delivered the Flatliner. Kanyon then made a cover and hooked the leg. 1, 2, 3. Now we go to the last commercial break of the night.

WINNER: CHRIS KANYON

OR: 71

CR: 63

MQ: 80

SPANKY & LONDON SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY

Mark Lloyd is standing backstage again looking for an interview. This time he goes into London & Spanky's locker room. When he opens the door he sees London sitting in the middle of the room punching himself in the head, and Spanky running in circles around the room.

Mark Lloyd: Paul, Spanky, can I get a word with you guys?

London: What's on your mind Michael Cole?

Mark Lloyd: Actually my name is... Oh nevermind. You guys must have heard what The World's Greatest Tag Team said about you earlier. But just in case you didn't, they said that they wanted to break all your bones, and that you two were only going to be a warmup match for them.

London: Laughing. They want to break my bones? Let me show you something Marcus. London cracks his neck loudly for a good 5 seconds. Mark Lloyd then goes to say something, but then London leans back on the chair and cracks his back even louder. Mark again goes to say something, but this time London gets up. He takes a couple steps forward and then kicks himself square in the forehead. So, they want to break my bones? I can't even break my bones, and they think they can? Well that just won't happen. They can bend my arms and legs all they won't, but it won't have any effect. You know Mary, there's a reason that Spanky calls me the Rubber Man.

Spanky: Spanky stops running for a second. Actually Paul, there's a different reason for that. Spanky starts running again.

London: Oh, nevermind then. All joking aside Morris, these guys can think that we're just going to be a pushover all they want. But the fact of the matter is that Spanky & I are sick of being considered the joke of the locker room and tonight is as good of a time as any to prove that we can get it done in the ring.

Spanky: Pull my finger...

Mark Lloyd: Well there you have it folks, Spanky and Paul London are up for the challenge.

OR: 59

Paul London gained overness.

THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM VS SPANKY & LONDON

TWGTT are out first to some decent heel heat. Then Spanky and London come running down the aisle. They slide into the ring, and TWGTT slide right out to get away from these two nutjobs. The bell rings, and Haas gets into the ring with Spanky. Spanky runs right at Haas, and Haas goes for a clothesline. Spanky slides right between Haas's legs, and gets up behind him. Spanky pulls back on Haas's spandex and lets go snapping it right back at Haas. Haas is startles by this, and runs at Spanky. Haas is met with a deep armdrag from Spanky. Spanky locks an Armbar in on Haas, and makes the tag into London. London gets in, and hits a dropkick right to the back of Haas's head. Spanky gets out of the ring. London picks Haas up to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. London hits Haas with a backbody drop that sends him over the top rope. But Haas manages to land on his feet on the ring apron. Haas turns to the crowd and points to his head, taunting them. Shelton Benjamin then came in the ring and charged at London. London didn't see Shelton, so he did his Moonsault Dropkick to Haas sending him flying off of the ring apron. When he did the Moonsault part of the move, he caught a charging Shelton Benjamin. Spanky came back in the ring, and dumped Shelton out of it. London saw Haas on the floor, so he took a running start and then leapt over the top rope and hit Haas with a Senton To The Outside. On the other side of the ring, Shelton gets the better of Spanky, and throws him into the guardrail. Shelton then goes over to where London is. He catches London by surprise, and whips him at the Steel Steps, but instead of crashing into the steps London runs up the steps and launches himself at Haas hitting him with another Senton. London rolls into the ring to break up the 10 count, before rolling right back out. London picks Haas up off the ground and rolls him into the ring. London lifts up Haas and hits him with a Bodyslam to position him. London then climbs up to the top rope. He must be going for the London Calling. But from behind, Shelton Benjamin pushes London's ass. London lands throat first on the top rope. Shelton then gets into the ring. He goes to do something to London, but he sees Spanky on the ring apron. Shelton hits Spanky with a Superkick to the jaw knocking him right off the apron and onto the ground. Shelton then helps Haas to his feet. Haas grabs London's legs, and lifts them up in the air as Shelton bounces off of the ropes. Shelton leap frogs right over Haas and lands on the small of London's back. London drops to the mat, and Haas covers him. 1, 2, Haas lifts London up. Haas and Shelton plot together for a second before Haas lifts London up in the air, and hits him with an Inverted Atomic Drop. Shelton then drills London with a Side Kick to the side of the face. London falls back, but Haas holds onto his leg. Haas turns London over, and locks him in the Haas of Pain. Spanky tries getting back in the ring but Shelton stomps on him a few times to keep him out of there. London has no choice but to tap.

WINNERS: THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM

The match is over but Haas won't release the hold. Haas keeps the hold on for a minute or two, with referees trying to break it up. From backstage, Los Guerrero's run out to the ring. Shelton high tails it out of there at the sight of them, but Haas doesn't see them coming until Eddie Guerrero plants a boot to the back of his head. Haas quickly scurries out of the ring and meets his partner as they walk backstage pointing at their nemesis's as Velocity ends.

OR: 82

CR: 71

MQ: 93

Chavo Guerrero Jr debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Eddie Guerrero's turn was completed, and he is now a face. Eddie Guerrero gained overness from this turn.

OR: 59

Edited by Essa
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WWE Sunday Night Heat

November 9, 2003

RETURN OF THE CHALLENGE

The Heat pyro starts, and when it finishes Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow come out and assume the broadcast position. Then "Mack Militant" hits as some of the crowd begins to boo, Rodney Mack and Theodore Long come out onto the stage to address the jobber (Chris Chetti) that is already waiting in the ring.

Theodore Long: Lemme holla at ya playas. Ya see Rodney Mack is gonna beat this cracka tonight in unda five minizzles and make the dolla dolla bills. The Cleveland crowd is kinda confused as to what he's saying. Rodney Mack is too good to be fighting punks like this hear on Heat. In the ring, Chetti is making gestures at Rodney Mack to bring it on. Mack and Long get inside the ring, but there isn't any physical contact yet. The Man is holding us down playas. First Rodney Mack, and Jazz get a couple bruises and a little sumthin sumthin and the man exaggerates it sayin he can't give them their medical releases. Or in other words that Crackaholic Steve Austin was payin the doctor's not to let mah people on Raw. The crowd boo the reference to Austin. Another cracka that I have a problem wit is Chris Nowinski. Ya see playa, you stopped thuggin' and buggin' and forgot about your brotha lovin' ways when you hooked up with Evolution or should I say CRACKAlution. The crowd laughs at the Crackalution remark Speaking of "The Man," Mark Henry got kicked off RAW because he's "Smackdown Property". Lemme remind you people of something called the Emancipation Proclamation. Mark Henry aint no slave, he can choose wherever the hell he wants to go. The man couldn't handle that Mark Henry was a threat to the champion. First, the Man wouldn't give Mark Henry the bounty on Crackaberg's head and now he is knocked off RAW. It's all because He knew that by now, Mizzark would be the World's Heavyweight Champion. Ya feel me?

OR: 73

Theodore Long debuted his new gimmick. Theodore Long gained overness from this segment.

RODNEY MACK VS CHRIS CHETTI

Chris Chetti looks plain old bored listening to Theodore Long speaking, so he doesn't waste any more time and cuts off Long by tackling Rodney Mack. Chetti mounts Mack and starts hitting him with vicious punches. Chetti gets off of Mack after five punches, and lifts up Mack. Chetti irish whips Mack into the ropes and hits him with an arm drag. Mack is up quickly and angrily charges at Chetti. Chetti is waiting for him and catches him with another deep arm drag. Mack is fuming mad and again charges at Chetti. Chetti catches him again, but this time he hits him with a Hip Toss onto his knee, turning it into a modified Backbreaker. Chetti makes the quick cover, and the ref counts. 1, 2, a surprised Mack barely kicks out in time. Chetti quickly goes over to the corner, and jumps up to the top rope. Chetti then jumps over the turnbuckle to the other side of the top rope, and goes for the Double Jump Moonsault. But he should have paid more attention to Mack because Mack leveled Chetti with a huge clothesline during the middle of the moonsault. Mack put a sinister smile on his face, and started toyingly kicking Chetti in the stomach. Mack lifts up Chetti and throws him into the corner. Mack hits a couple of chops on Chetti, and then whips him into the other corner. Chetti somehow gets his wits together and runs up the turnbuckles. Mack charges in, and Chetti goes for another moonsault. Chetti does connect this time, but not with enough impact because Mack catches him on his shoulder. Mack then with Chetti on his shoulders and rams him back first into the corner. Mack keeps Chetti on his shoulders and then runs to the other side of the ring and does the same thing as Chetti screams out in pain. Mack still has Chetti up on his shoulders, and charges to the other side of the ring. Mack drops Chetti off of his shoulders face first into the top turnbuckle. Chetti stumbles backwards and Mack grabs him around the neck from behind and locks him in the Blackout. Chetti flails around for a while and it seems like he isn't going to tap out. Mack then falls backward to the middle of the ring with the Blackout still locked in, and with all of the added pressure, Chetti taps out giving Mack the win, and giving the viewers at home a commercial break.

WINNER: RODNEY MACK W/ THEODORE LONG

OR: 62

CR: 56

MQ: 68

Chris Chetti is losing overness because of his weak gimmick.

THE HEAT GM HAS AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

The camera shows the outside of a janitor's closet. The word Janitor is crossed out in black magic marker, and under it is written Steven Richards' Office. The door opens, and we see Victoria sitting on a bucket staring at a Portable TV. There is nothing on the TV but the black and white fuzzy stuff that you get when your TV is fucking up. Out of nowhere Victoria just starts cracking up at the "television show." Steven pulls back on a shower curtain, and walks out of a small shower that I'm assuming the Janitor's used. Steven was wearing a white buttoned down dress shirt, with a thick pink tie, and his pink tights that he's always wearing.

Steven: So honey, how do I look?

Victoria: Flicks off the tv. Scrumptious. But why are you all dressed up?

Steven: Because darling, I've got a major announcement to make that will shake the very foundations of Stevie Night Heat. So honey, get dressed because we're on in ten minutes.

The camera fades back to the ring.

OR: 69

JAMES WATKINS VS LANCE STORM

Lance Storm's music hits as he begins to walk to the ring with Val Venis and some lovely young ladies, Lance dances to the ring as Val and the ladies follow. Storm gets into the ring and dances on the turnbuckles. James Watkins is already in the ring. The match starts off with a grapple. This leads to a snap suplex by Storm onto Watkins. Storm drops immediately down to an armbar. Watkins is still too strong to tap out. Storm gets up and stomps on Watkins arm, weakening him up for future attempts at the armbar. Storm tosses Watkins into the corner and begins to kick him in his ribs. Storm whips Watkins to the other side and follows it up with a clothesline in the corner. Storm nails James with some right hands, before bringing him out of the corner for a vertical suplex. Storm bends down to pick up Watkins, but Watkins catches him with a low blow which went undetected by the referee. Watkins gets up and nails Storm with a scoop slam. Storm quickly gets up and attempts to swing at Watkins. However, Watkins ducks and rolls Storm up with a handful of tights for a 2 count. Storm is shocked but he stays focused. Storm catches the hotshot with a kick to the gut. Storm whips him into the ropes and catches him coming back with a dropkick. Storm attempts to pick him again, but Watkins catches him with a poke to the eyes. Watkins catches Storm turning around, and drills him with a Cobra Clutch Leg Sweep. Watkins covers Storm, and the ref counts. 1, 2, Storm barely kicks out. Watkins picks up Storm, and tries to irish whip but Storm reverses and catches him coming back with a back body drop. Storm follows him down and locks in the armbar again. Watkins somehow manages to get to the ropes, but it takes a lot out of him. Storm goes out onto the ring apron and waits for Watkins to stand up. Storm jumps up onto the top rope, and nails Watkins with a springboard crescent kick. Watkins is down, and Storm locks him in the Straight Shooter. Watkins is in the middle of the ring and has no option but to tap out. As the match ends, a video starts playing.

WINNER: LANCE STORM

OR: 59

CR: 46

MQ: 72

HE'S COMING

A video starts playing on the Titantron. A little kid in his pajamas is shown in his bedroom playing with his toys (a wwe wrestling ring, a jack in the box, and legos). He hears his mother calling.

Mom: Come here Timmy. Timmy runs out of his room and to his mother. It's time for bed Timmy.

Timmy: Come on mom, let me stay up for five more minutes. My Goldberg doll is wrestling my Triple H doll!

Mom: Okay Timmy, but only five more minutes.

An ecstatic Timmy runs back into his room. He starts turning the handle on the jack-in-the-box, as the "pop goes the weasel" music is going. It gets to the end, when the thing would pop out of the box, and the music just stops. Timmy tries to pry it open but it doesn't work. Eventually he gets the top open, but there is nothing on the inside. Timmy calls for his mother to come in, but it is muffled when a gloved hand reaches out of the box and grabs Timmy by the throat. The video then fades to black. Then the following pops up on the tron:

BOARD YOUR WINDOWS

LOCK YOUR DOORS

HIDE THE WIFE AND CHILDREN

HE IS COMING: SOON

OR: 93

STEVIE'S BIG ANNOUNCEMENT LEADS TO AN ALL OUT BRAWL

Stevie Richards and Victoria come out to the ring where they are met by Terri. Stevie is still wearing his "business suit from before", and Victoria is wearing a skin tight leather dress, with part of the chest area cut out (like her wrestling attire). The dress stops about six inches above her knees. They are carrying a duffelbag with something in it.

Terri: Stevie, Victoria, what is this announcement that you've promised our viewers?

Stevie: Patience Theresa, patience. Now is the time that you've all been waiting for. The General Manager, and General Managerette of Stevie Night Heat have been thinking of a way to attract more viewers to Stevie Night Heat. First we thought of having All Stevie, All The Time where you'd have the pleasure of listening to me all hour long. But then we thought of something else. We thought of giving the Heat roster something to strive for.

Victoria: Ooooooooooh ooooooh Stevie, don't say it yet. You're forgetting about someone.

Stevie: Oh, I forgot a little something. Thanks for reminding me, honey. Rob Van Dam, get out here. RVD comes out to the stage with his intercontinental title, and looks on perplexed. Get in the ring Rob, we don't have all night. RVD gets into the ring and asks Stevie what's going on. RVD, do you remember when you were Intercontinental Champion at the beginning of the brand extension? RVD nods. And do you remember your match with Tommy Dreamer soon afterwards, where you retired the Hardcore Title? RVD nods, as Victoria (behind RVD) reaches into the bag and pulls out the Hardcore Title. Good RVD, because as of now, that title isn't retired. And, since you're the reigning champion, you're required to defend it whenever I see fit. And, right now seems to be as good of a time as any...

From behind Victoria wallops RVD in the head with the title belt, knocking RVD straight out.

Stevie: Anybody who wants a shot at this title can come out right now and take their shot because we're going to have ourselves a little Hardcore Invitational.

RVD is laying in the ring unconscious, and it seems like nobody is answering the Invitation. Terri is also in the ring. She starts looking around suspiciously, before dropping down onto RVD. A ref slides into the ring, and counts. 1, 2, 3.

Hardcore Champion: Terri

Eliminated: Rob Van Dam

Terri goes to get the title from Victoria, when Rico's music hits and he runs down to the ring with Miss Jackie. Miss Jackie gets in the ring first, and she takes down Terri in full catfight mode. The two blondes roll around on top of each other for a few seconds, until Jackie starts slapping Terri in the face. Terri tries to cover up, and when she does Jackie rips off Terri's top leaving her in a lacey white bra. Jackie then gets up off of Terri. Terri is laying there still covering her face, when she realizes Jackie isn't hitting her anymore. She lowers her hands, just in time to see Rico flying at her, and nailing her with a Moonsault! Rico covers Terri. 1, 2, 3.

Hardcore Champion: Rico

Eliminated: Terri

Jacqueline and Spike Dudley then come out to the ring. Both are carrying trash cans at their sides. They slide into the ring, and surround Rico. Rico goes to hit Jacqueline, but Spike hits him with the Trash Can Lid in the back of the head. Jacqueline then does the same to Rico with her Trash Can Lid. Rico and Jacqueline then wind up and both nail Rico at the same time with the trash can lids knocking Rico down to the mat. Jacqueline and Spike then lay the two trash cans side by side. Jacqueline and Spike pick up Rico and lock in front face locks. They then deliver a double Suplex to Rico right onto the two trash cans. Spike Dudley then goes for the cover on Rico. 1, 2, Jacqueline steps on Spike breaking up the count. Spike gets up and asks why she did it. Jacqueline shoves Spike, but he answers back with a kick in the gut. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog, but Jackie pushes him off, sending him flying into the railing outside the ring. Spike gets picked up and helped to the back, as Al Snow drops his headset and gets onto the stage. He starts slowly walking down to the ring. Tommy Dreamer runs out from backstage, Singapore Cane's in hand, and drills Al Snow in the back of the head. So much for his return to the ring. Dreamer then finishes his run to the ring. But before he gets there, Rico catches an unaware Jacqueline with a quick DDT right onto the crushed garbage can. Rico rolls Jacqueline out of the ring, and thinks he has won the match. He bends over and reaches through the ropes for the Hardcore Title from Victoria, but Dreamer drills him in the lower extremities with the Singapore Cane. Rico drops to his knees, and falls forward, face first into Dreamer's crotch. Dreamer backs up quickly, and then bounces off of the ropes with the Singapore Cane in hand. Dreamer jumps up and then crashes down onto Rico, with a leg drop using the Singapore Cane to Rico. Dreamer picks up Rico, and hoists him up onto his shoulders and hits Rico with the Spiccoli Driver! Dreamer covers Rico. 1, 2, 3.

Hardcore Champion: Tommy Dreamer

Eliminated: Rico

Nobody else seems to be coming out, so Victoria gets in the ring with the Hardcore Title, followed by Stevie. Dreamer goes to grab the belt from Victoria, but Stevie stands in his way. He holds his hand out, and Dreamer looks to the crowd for approval to shake his hand. The crowd boos, but Dreamer goes against his better judgement and shakes Stevie's hand. They shake hands and they casually smile at each other. But from behind, Victoria hits Dreamer with an Uppernut. Dreamer stumbles forward, and Stevie hits him with the StevieT. Stevie covers Tommy and the confused ref counts. 1, 2, 3.

Hardcore Champion: Stevie Richards

Eliminated: Tommy Dreamer

Heat goes off the air with Stevie Richards celebrating with Victoria and the Hardcore Title.

OR: 71

CR: 68

MQ: 75

The WWE Hardcore title has gained in image.

OR: 68

Edited by InspéctorEssa
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WWE RAW

NOVEMBER 10, 2003

LIVE FROM THE FLEET CENTER, IN BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTES

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CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI VERSUS AN OPPONENT OF EVOLUTION'S CHOICE

Jim Ross: Hello and welcome to WWE Monday Night Raw, live from the Fleet Center in Boston Mass.

Jerry Lawler: JR, we're just six days away from Survivor Series and we've got a roster of superstars that are just so anxious to get to Survivor Series.

Jim Ross: And speaking of anxiety, Christopher Nowinski just returned after an injury and now he's trying to get into Evolution

Jerry Lawler: Come on JR, look at this guy. He doesn't look like Evolution material.

Jim Ross: Well, tonight what he looks like doesn't matter because if he wins this next match, he is the fifth member of Evolution.

Jerry Lawler: But keep in mind JR, this is a hand picked opponent. This guy won't be some slouch from Oklahoma.

Jim Ross: Well let's see who his opponent is.

The Harvard Fight Song hits, and the newly returning Christopher Nowinski comes out to the ring wearing red shorts with a white H inscribed on both sides. The fans give off a lot of heat for Nowinski, but it's most likely just because he is the first person to come out for Raw, other than King and Ross. Nowinski gets in the ring and strokes his chin waiting to see who his opponent is. Nowinski goes from looking relatively happy, to looking like he shit himself as the opening chords of Goldberg's music starts to play. Goldberg's pyro starts going off, as he shadowboxes his way through the little tunnel that the fireworks make.

Goldberg makes his way to the ring, and puts one leg over the middle rope to get in the ring. Nowinski goes to get the early advantage and kicks Goldberg in his exposed ribs as he tries to get into the ring. Goldberg grabs his ribs, and Nowinski plants a kick to the back of Goldberg's head. Nowinski pulls Goldberg into the ring by his ear, and puts Goldberg's head between his legs. Nowinski is going for the Honor Roll, but Goldberg uses his leg strength to prevent the move from happening. Goldberg grabs Nowinski's left leg, and rolls on the ground hitting Nowinski with a Rolling Leg Lock. The referee checks with Nowinski to see if he gives up, but Nowinski somehow manages to slither to the bottom rope after about twenty seconds in the hold. Goldberg lets go and retreats to the corner. Everyone knows what's coming except for Nowinski. Nowinski uses the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. Nowinski turns around and gets whacked with a massive Spear from Goldberg. Goldberg hooks the leg, and the referee starts to make the elementary three count. One, Two, Three.

GOLDBERG DEF CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI VIA PINFALL

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

OR: 76

CR: 77

MQ: 75

**1/4

Jim Ross: Goldberg just plowed right through Nowinski tonight.

Jerry Lawler: Nowinski didn't stand a chance. But why would Evolution pick Goldberg as his opponent.

Jim Ross: That's a good question King.

WILL GOLDBERG BE 100% AT SURVIVOR SERIES? EVOLUTION THINKS NO.

Goldberg gets up and walks over to the corner. He steps up to the middle turnbuckle, raises his title belt and holds it up to the fans. But from behind come Evolution's Ric Flair, wearing a grey business suit, Randy Orton wearing an unbuttoned silver dress shirt with black dress pants, and Batista wearing his ring attire of shiny red tights. Goldberg hops off of the turnbuckle, and turns around where he is hoisted up onto his shoulders by Batista and driven down with a huge Spinebuster. Batista and Randy Orton then start laying into Goldberg with boots to the back, as Ric Flair motions for a microphone.

Ric Flair: Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for your World Heavyweight Champion. The crowd boos , as Batista and Orton are still putting a hurting on Goldberg. Because six nights from now at Survivor Series when The Game, Triple H takes Goldberg's World Heavyweight Title WHOOOOO, pride, and WHOOOOOO dignity, just like the Yankees did to the Red Sox, you won't have anything left to cheer about. Now you all know that Hunter is a very busy man now that he's shooting movies WHOOOOOOO, commercials, WHOOOOOO, and magazine covers. So it's my duty to let you all know that the man you all spent your welfare money on to see isn't going to be here tonight. But he told me something before he left. He said Naitcha Boy, you go out there and you take Batista and Randy with you, and you make sure that they give Goldberg the ass whooping that I would have given him, had I been there in person. So I to... Christopher Nowinski crawls over to Ric Flair on his hands and knees.

Christopher Nowinski: Huffing and puffing. Please give me another chance to get into Evolution... please.

Ric Flair: Who in the hell are you to interrupt me? I was a World Champion before you were even born and you're just going to cut me off?

Christopher Nowinski: I'm sorry, please give me another shot. I'll do anything.

Ric Flair: Yanno what? You want one more shot at getting into Evolution? You want to prove that you're part of the minority of advanced human beings? Then fine, you'll have your shot at Survivor Series. Because I just had a long, lengthy talk with Eric Bischoff and Steve Austin. They filled me in on his plans for the rest of Evolution at Survivor Series. He said that we'd be having a Standard Survivor Series Match with them punks Garrison Cade, Mark Jindrak, and Maven. And you just can't have a 3 Man Team in an Eight Man Tag Match, so it'll be The Naitcha Boy, The Legend Killer, ...Batista, and YOU kid. All you have to do is be one of the survivors, and you're in.

Christopher Nowinski: Thanks, I won't let you down... But who is their fourth man?

Ric Flair: You ask way too many damn questions. How the hell do I know who they picked anyway? But let's see what you're made of kid. You just got your ass handed to you by Goldberg, but it doesn't look like he'll be doing much fighting back anymore. So, show me what you plan on doing to Cade, Jindrak and Maven at Survivor Seri...

Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak's music hits as Mark Jindrak, wearing red shorts and black boots, Garrison Cade, wearing red tights and black boots, and Maven, wearing black shorts with maVen on the sides, all come out to the ring. On the inside of the ring Randy Orton and Batista kick Goldberg out of the ring.

Maven: Whoa whoa whoa Ric, what's with all this Evolution talk? If Triple H is so "evolved" then wouldn't he have a better track record at Survivor Series? Hands the microphone to Jindrak.

Mark Jindrak: Yeah Flair, in case you didn't know, Triple H has never won a match at Survivor Series. But he has lost quite a few. Laughs, and passes the mic to Garrison Cade.

Garrison Cade: Flair, I'm going to list a couple of people to you and let's see if you can get the connection between them all. Shawn Michaels crowd pops, The Rock crowd pops, The Undertaker Crowd Pops, Big Show Crowd Boos, and Jake The Snake Roberts crowd cheers.

Ric Flair: I oughtta smack the taste out of your mouth for disrespecting me, but I'm in a good mood, so I'll humor you. What is their connection?

Garrison Cade: They've all BEATEN Triple H at past Survivor Series.

Ric Flair: Laughing You snotnose punks might not realize this, but win, lose, or draw, wrestling someone like a Jake Roberts is a privilege.

Maven: Whoa Ric we weren't done listing them yet. There's also the "Wildman" Marc Mero, Barry "Sniper" Windham, Savio "Kwang" Vega, "Give Peace A Chance" Fatu, and Naked Mideon. Now Ric, you might think rolling around with a fat naked sweaty guy is a privilege, but we certainly don't. Batista lunges forward at Maven, but Flair stops him.

Ric Flair: Not yet big man. You guys are really funny. Really stupid, but really funny. Ah, what the hell.

Ric Flair lets go of Batista and he tramples Jindrak with a clothesline. Ric Flair and Nowinski then grab Cade and throw him out of the ring. They follow him out and start to double team him. Randy Orton does the same to Maven, and brawls with him on the outside. A referee runs down to the ring, and the bell rings so I guess this is the start of the Jindrak/Batista match.

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

OR: 98

Ric Flair gains overness from getting the crowd all riled up. Batista gains overness from demolishing Jindrak.

Jerry Lawler: Well that answers my question JR. They used Nowinski as bait to get Goldberg in a vulnerable position.

Jim Ross: There's a reason that they call Triple H the cerebral assassin.

BATISTA VERSUS MARK JINDRAK

This match did not start off all too well for Mark Jindrak, and it only got worse as the match progressed. Both wrestlers seemed a little distracted by the five men brawling on the outside of the ring. Eventually the referee had enough and sent Christopher Nowinski, Maven, Garrison Cade, and Randy Orton to the back. Ric Flair was allowed to stay out there because he has a managerial license.

The distraction of all five men was enough to give Jindrak a small window of opportunity. The end came when Batista was arguing with the referee about sending his teammates to the back. Somehow Mark Jindrak worked his way up to his feet and waited for Batista to turn around. Once Batista turned, Jindrak leaped up into the air and drilled him in the face with a Dropkick, which got a lot of hang time. Jindrak got up quickly and started stamping his feet around waiting for Batista to get back to his feet. Batista got up and was met with a flurry of forearms to the face which backed him up into the ropes. Jindrak grabbed Batista's arm and whipped him across the ring into the ropes. On the rebound Jindrak went for another Dropkick, but Batista swatted him away in mid air. Jindrak hit the mat hard on his back, and rolled around writhing in pain.

Batista pulled him up by his hair to one knee. Jindrak tried to free himself of Batista's grasp by punching him in his rock hard stomach, but it had little to no effect. Batista finished getting Jindrak up to his feet, and threw him into the corner. Jindrak tried to jump up to the top rope, and then go for his clothesline but he lost his balance, and only was able to get one foot on the top turnbuckle. Jindrak's weight carried him backwards, as he fell off the top rope and landed on his feet, just barely grazing Batista. Batista stood there for a second unsure of what to do. Jindrak was no help, as he panicked and also stood there doing nothing. The two green wrestlers just stood there panicking, until Ric Flair came over to their side of the ring and shouted something at them about just finishing the damn match.

Batista spun Jindrak around, and put his head between his legs. Batista then lifted up Jindrak, and spun around with him on his shoulders before dropping him down hard with a massive Spiral Powerbomb. Batista then covered Jindrak. 1, 2, 3. Well that was... how you say? fucking awkward. Afterwards Ric Flair got in the ring and held Batista's arm up high as we mercifully cut a way to a commercial.

WINNER: BATISTA

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

OR: 69

CR: 64

MQ: 74

* 3/4

Jerry Lawler: That Batista is proving that he is the muscle behind Evolution.

Jim Ross: Yeah King, Batista just absolutely decimated Mark Jindrak here. And you just have to wonder if the same thing will happen six days from now at Survivor Series.

Jerry Lawler: Hold on JR, there might not even BE a match at Survivor Series. If Jindrak and his partners Garrison Cade and Maven can't find another teammate, they might have to forfeit.

Jim Ross: That's true King. But up next we have Trish vs Victoria.

Jerry Lawler: Hey I don't want a wrestling match! I thought they were only allowed to wrestle in women's specialty matches!

TRISH STRATUS VS VICTORIA

"Time To Rock & Roll" by Lil Kim plays, and out comes Trish Stratus. At her side is Lita, who is apparently out there to make sure that there is nobody getting involved in their business. She's wearing a sparkly purple top with matching tight pants. Lita is wearing her green short shorts with a black tee shirt and fishnet sleeves. Trish came out with her cowgirl hat and black trench coat and slid into the ring. She pointed her hat at the crowd, and went to do the same to the other side of the ring but she was cut off when "All The Things She Said" by Tatu played, signifying the entrance of Victoria, and Steven Richards. Victoria has on her black sports bra, and tight blank pants. Stevie has on tight black shorts with Stevie Night Heat embroidered on the back. They stand at the top of the stage with Victoria holding her head and snarling at Trish. The two then charge down towards the ring.

Victoria slides in and is about to brawl with Trish. Lita, however jumped in front of Stevie, and he put on the breaks and stayed outside of the ring. Victoria and Trish are about to go at it when the lights go out.

The lights stay out for a moment, until the titantron flickers.

5

4

3

2

1

BREEAAAK THE WALLLLS DOOOOOOWWWWN

Chris Jericho is shown at the top of the ramp, with his back facing the ring and his arms in an outstretched position. He has on a shimmering silver shirt, and black pants with a lightning bolt design on them. Jericho has a microphone in his hand. Trish and Victoria stop circling each other and see what he has to say.

Chris Jericho: Hello Trish, and let me welcome you to RAW IS JERICHO.

Boos from the crowd.

Chris Jericho: Trish, maybe last week you didn't understand me. I said, with Eric Bischoff's consent, that there would be no more straight up women's wrestling matches AGAAAIN.

Jericho chuckles a little while Trish bites her lip and has a mean scowl on her face. Victoria is doing her best to look like a crazy bitch. Lita has a disgusted look on her face on the outside of the ring.

Chris Jericho: But no Trish, you just had to go and issue a challenge to Victoria. I can't let that slide Trish, I just can't. I'm a man of morals Trish, I'm a true man of my word so when I told all of these Jerichoholics...

More heat from the crowd.

Chris Jericho: So when I promised all of these Jerichoholics that we would never have to see two women rolling around the ring disgracing the sport of wrestling, I intended to keep that promise. When I heard about this little makes quotes with his fingers match that was signed for you two loveeeeely ladays, I had to think quickly to prevent this travesty from happening. Jericho walks to the end of the ramp, and down the stairs next to the aforementioned covered pool. I just had to come up with some stipulation for this match, when I walked into the catering room and saw a huge stack of Good Ole Jr's Barbeque Sauce. So, me being the Larger Than Life, King of the World that I am, I ordered some guy to carry all of that barbeque sauce to the ring, and VOILA. Jericho yanks on the cover, and pulls it off to reveal a pool full of Barbeque Sauce. Stevie and Victoria start chuckling, while Trish and Lita's jaws drop in amazement. Tonight, Trish and Victoria, you two will be competing in the first ever Good Ole JR's Homecooked Oklahoma Rootin Tootin Burny Turny Farmhouse Barbeque Sauce Match. The crowd pops... And remember Trish, this is for your... own... good. Chris Jericho slams down the microphone, and blows a kiss at Trish. He starts to walk backstage, but then stops, shrugs his shoulders, and turns around. Jericho walks over to the other side of the ramp, down the stairs and then pulls up a chair at the announcer's table. It looks like we've got ourselves a special guest commentator.

Jerry Lawler: Haha good job Jericho. I thought that they were actually going to have a match!

Chris Jericho: I said it last week and I'll say it again tonight, women have no place in the WWE wrestling ring.

Jim Ross: How could you say that Chris? These women are talented athletes!

Chris Jericho: Hey Jim, if I wanted to listen to an asshole I'd fart.

Trish is fuming mad inside the ring. She's standing on the bottom rope and leaning over the top, yelling at Chris Jericho for screwing with her career. However, Trish doesn't get much time to vent, as Victoria charges at her from behind and clotheslines her in the back of the head. Trish's momentum carries her over the top rope and to the floor below. Victoria follows her back out of the ring and starts to stomp on Trish's back while she is down. Victoria picks Trish up off of the ground and grabs her by the hair. Victoria starts walking to the Barbecue Sauce pit, dragging Trish along by the hair. Trish has had enough of this, and hits an elbow right to the gut of Victoria. Victoria hunches over, and Trish whips her right into the guardrail. Victoria hits the guardrail back first. Trish charges in to clothesline Victoria, but Victoria lifts her up by her armpits and drops her neck first on the guardrail. Victoria, again, grabs Trish by the hair and drags her up the ramp. Instead of going up the side to the Barbecue Sauce pit, Victoria goes up the ramp. The ladies are directly above the barbecue sauce pit.

Victoria puts Trish's head directly between her legs and lifts her up for a Powerbomb into the barbecue sauce pit! But, no! From behind, Lita pulls Victoria's legs out from under her. Victoria falls down on her back, and Trish falls in a sitting position on Victoria's breasts. Meanwhile, Steven Richards rushes over and threatens to hit Lita if she gets involved again. Trish is momentarily out of it, but Victoria is just laying there with a smile on her face. Trish eventually comes to and sees what's going on. She jumps up right away with a disgusted look on her face. Victoria sits up. She was so close to the edge when she went for the powerbomb, so now her legs are hanging off the ramp, and her ass is on the edge of the ramp. Trish sees Victoria's positioning, and kicks her square in the back. Victoria hunches over a little more... Trish points to the crowd to a big cheer. Trish puts one leg on each side of Victoria's head, before dropping and going for the Stratusphere! It connects! Except, it's badly botched. Due to the awkward positioning, Victoria couldn't fully rotate and ended up falling on her face and absorbing the impact with her hands and the barbecue sauce. If it wasn't for the barbecue sauce, Victoria could have been seriously injured. Trish gets up and wipes the barbecue sauce from her face. She tastes a little from her finger and makes a face as if she's saying "Hmm... Not bad."

Trish then looks for Victoria, but she seems to have disappeared inside the barbecue sauce pit. Trish feels around seemingly buying to help Victoria get herself back together after that botched spot. Trish finally grabs a hold of Victoria and then drops down into a pin. The referee counts, 1, 2, kickout. Trish gets up and starts to pull Victoria to her feet. But Victoria flings a handful of Barbecue Sauce into the eys of Trish Stratus. Trish stumbles around like she's blind, when Victoria picks her up in a Fireman's Carry. Victoria goes for the Black Widow, but as she lets go of Trish, Trish spins around and counters it into the Stratusfaction Bulldog! Meanwhile, Molly Holly and Gail Kim show up. Molly and Lita start to brawl, and end up brawling to the backstage area. Trish covers Victoria. 1, 2, But No! Gail Kim grabs Trish's legs and pulls her off of Victoria! Trish gets up and shoves Gail Kim. Kim shoves her back. Trish smirks and then hits a Chick Kick out of nowhere knocking Gail flat on her ass. The ref goes over to Gail Kim and checks on her. WHACK STEVIE KICK to Trish out of nowhere, knocks her straight back into the Barbecue Sauce Pit. Trish is out of it. An instant replay shows Steven sneaking up on the side, lining Trish up for the Stevie Kick, and eventually nailing her right in the chops. Stevie gets into the BBQ Sauce pit, and drapes Victoria over Trish. Steven get's out of the pit, and motions for the ref to make the count. The ref is suspicious at first, but then just drops down and makes the count. 1, 2, 3. Victoria wins.

WINNER: VICTORIA

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

OR: 78

CR: 88

MQ: 46

DUD

Trish Stratus gains overness from outsmarting Victoria every step of the way. Victoria gains overness for keeping the match going after taking a nasty bump.

Jim Ross: It took Molly, Gail and that damn Steven Richards to beat Trish.

Chris Jericho: Am I supposed to care James? Look at them rolling around in your barbecue sauce!

Jim Ross: Yeah well... I hope you plan on paying for my barbecue sauce!

THE CO GENERAL MANAGERS ARE BUSY, JUST SIX DAYS BEFORE SURVIVOR SERIES

The camera shows up in Eric Bischoff's office. Bischoff has on a pair of navy blue sweat pants, and a plain white Tee shirt with the WCW logo on it.

Eric Bischoff: I know Steve, I know. But the fact of the matter is this. I was more than willing to let bygones be bygones and just forget the whole WCW situation. But you just couldn't do that. You had to bring all of that animosity back to the forefront of our relationship. I wanted to work with you, Steve, because I honestly believe that we could have peacefully coexisted. I've been a total optimist this whole time, even after you kept on Stone Cold Stunning me whenever you saw me. Eventually, I just had to stop being optimistic and start getting real.

Now Bischoff starts yelling

Eric Bischoff: Steve, you're the reason that we haven't gotten along! I TRIED STEVE, I REALLY TRIED, but nothing is ever enough for you.

Bischoff calms down.

Eric Bischoff: Steve, you lost the five vs five match at Survivor Series, now quit grovelling to get your job back. Quit begging, get up off your knees, take the stipulations like a man, and get the hell out of my office and my building.

The camera pans out to show Jonathan Coachman gets up off of his knees.

Jonathan Coachman in horrible redneck accent: But Eric, I waisted every last cent I had on beer and child support.

Both Coachman and Bischoff burst out laughing.

The camera pans out even further to show Steve Austin standing right there, unbeknownst to Bischoff and Coachman.

Steve Austin after slapping Coachman on the back as a "greeting": What's so funny guys? You should know by now that you can't tell a joke without me around.

Coachman is rubbing the spot on his back where Austin slapped him.

Eric Bischoff: Oh, there's no joke Steve Austin. We're just planning our celebration speech after Team Bischoff beats Team Austin at the Survivor Series. And Coach, I must say that you're performance is Academy Award worthy.

Steve Austin: Ya know Eric, for someone that can, and will, be facing daily ass beatings every day from after Survivor Series until your contract runs up, you seem pretty damn relaxed.

Eric Bischoff: Could you tell I'm relaxed Steve? What gave it away? Is it the fact that I'm just hanging out in my street clothes with the Coach, instead of my business suit? You must have got one hell of an "edumacation" down South in Texas.

Bischoff and Coachman laugh at the "joke."

Eric Bischoff: The fact is this Steve, I've got nothing to worry about, because come Survivor Series I'm sure that my team of five will destroy your team of five.

Steve Austin: What?

Eric Bischoff: I said that my team will...

Steve Austin: I said what?

Coachman: Let me handle this one Eric. All losers say what?

Steve Austin: Wha... Ha, you almost got me there Coach. Coach, you dropped something.

Coachman: I did, where?

Coach bends down and looks for something, as Austin grabs him by the back of his neck and throws him out the door.

Steve Austin: Now you say that your team of five is going to beat mine? Hell you don't even have a fifth member yet.

Bischoff: That's not true. My fifth team member is...

Molly Holly walks into the room with a disgruntled look on her face.

Molly Holly: Mr. Bischoff, Mr. Bischoff, I have to ask you something.

Eric Bischoff: What is it Molly, I'm sort of busy here.

Molly Holly: Well I just wanted to make sure that your rule about the women's division isn't going to be in effect at the Survivor Series for my match with Lita.

Eric Bischoff: Molly, you know you're my favorite WWE Diva, but I just can't do that. I can't show favoritism towards you, so you will be wrestling in a specialty match with Lita at Survivor Series.

Molly Holly: But, but... you can't do this!

Eric Bischoff: Let me finish, let me finish. You'll be wrestling Lita in a... NO DISQUALIFICATION Match!

Molly's eyes beam with happiness, but that changes when all of a sudden she feels a breathing down her back. Molly turns around and sees angry Superhero Rosey standing behind her.

Rosey: Step aside citizen Molly, I have some business to attend to.

Molly backs away and out the door.

Rosey: Eric, the Hurricane and I heard through the hurri-grapevine that tonight you're making me team with Jon Heidenreich... the same man that injured the Hurricane last week.

Eric Bischoff: Damnit, don't you people knock! But yes, Rosey you are teaming with Big Jon tonight. The simple truth is that you two won your tag team match last week, and you started climbing up in the tag team rankings.

Rosey: Eric, you know that is one big hurri-load of...

Rosey points to his shirt that says S.H.I.T. on it.

Eric Bischoff: Cute, real cute Rosey. But now that you keep moving up in the tag rankings, I can't just end your tag team with Jon Heidenreich.

Rosey dejectedly walks away, as Eric's cell phone rings.

Eric Bischoff: Hello?... Wait one second... Steve, this is an important call, so you're going to need to go ahead and get out of my office.

Steve doesn't move.

Eric Bischoff: No? Okay then Steve. SECUR...

Before Bischoff finishes what he's saying, Austin just shakes his head and walks away as we cut to a commercial break.

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

OR: 91

Jim Ross: This five vs five match is shaping up to be a slobberknocker.

Jerry Lawler: I know JR, both men's careers are on the line in that match. But speaking of careers, The Hurricane's career was almost ended when he got thrown off of the stage through this very table last week.

Jim Ross: I know King, and that son of a bitch Bischoff is forcing Hurricane's partner to team with the guy who did this to him!

LA RESISTANCE VS ROSEY & JON HEIDENREICH - - - - - - - - - JOINED IN PROGRESS

We join this match already in the ring. Rene Dupree and Rob Conway stand in their corner of the ring waving their french flags to some cheap heat from the crowd. Rosey and Jon Heidenrich are on the other side of the ring arguing over who will start the match off. Dupree is already in the ring waiting for the match to start, so the referee forces Rosey & Heidenreich to make the decision. Rosey yells at Heidenreich to get out of the ring, signifying that he will start off the match. Rosey again has words for his partner, which leads to Dupree attacking Rosey from behind. Dupree tries to German suplex Rosey but Rosey is just too huge. Rosey laughs it off, turns around and nails Dupree with a hard clothesline. Rosey stands over Dupree waiting for him to stand up. Dupree nails Rosey with a lowblow that went undetected by the referee. Dupree, still reeling after that thunderous clothesline, rolls around the ring trying to remember where he is. Dupree props himself up conviently up against the ropes, trying to get back up to his feet, in the "619 Position." Dupree is taking a bit of a breather as Rosey gets to his feet. Rosey is holding his super-manhood. Rosey shakes it off and gingerly runs into the ropes and on the rebound he attempts to splash all 400 Pounds over the neck of Dupree. Dupree heard the big man coming and he moves out of the way. Rosey stumbles around holding his nuts again as Dupree gets up and catches Rosey with a clothesline. Dupree makes the quick cover. 1, 2, kickout by Rosey. Heidenrich is begging Rosey to make the tag. Rosey, still lying on the ground, snarls at Heidenreich and tries to pull himself back to his feet. Dupree sets up Rosey for a vertical suplex. Rosey hooks his leg around Dupree's preventing the suplex from happening. Rosey then lifts Dupree in an attempt to hit his own suplex. Dupree drops down the big man's back and hits him with a neckbreaker. Dupree does the "Dupree Shuffle" dance which draws in some jeers from the crowd. Dupree goes over and tags in Conway.

Dupree and Conway go to double team Rosey, so Heidenreich gets in the ring to try and even up the sides. The referee Heidenrich distracts the referee while Dupree holds Rosey for Conway to hammer away with right hands on. Dupree makes his exit with Rosey stumbling. Conway repeatably kicks Rosey in the gut until he gets the big man on all fours which is followed by a boot to the face. Conway dances cockily before taking Rosey to his own corner, Conway tags back in Dupree. Conway holds Rosey so Dupree can get a free kick to the gut before leaving.

Rosey is bent over after the kick, and Dupree catches him with a quick DDT. Dupree hooks the leg. 1,2, kickout by Rosey. Rosey stumbles to his feet as does Dupree. Dupree whips Rosey into the ropes. Dupree goes for a backbody drop, but ducks his head early and is kicked in the head. Rosey follows it up with a scoop slam. Rosey then spins around in a circle before dropping a big leg. Rosey gets up and looks like he'll tag in Heidenrich. Rosey gets almost to the corner but shakes his head and goes the other way. Rosey then splashes on top of Dupree, but on the outside Grenier puts Dupree's foot on the ropes for a 2 count. Rosey gets up and attempts another big splash but Dupree rolls out of the way. Dupree rolls over and tags back in Conway.

Dupree rolls out onto the arena floor as Conway stomps the downed big man. Conway grabs Rosey by the hair and whips him into the corner, unfortunately for the referee he was sandwiched in that. The ref is down as Dupree rolls into the ring, Dupree and Conway stomp Rosey. They pick up Rosey and they attempt to double suplex him, Rosey reverses it and suplexes them both. Rosey walks over to Heidenrich and after a long argument, Rosey tags him in.

Heidenreich is a house of fire, and levels Dupree and Conway with stereo clotheslines. Dupree is up, charges at Heidenreich and is met with a spinning side salto. Heidenreich is back up, and sees Conway charging in at him. Heidenreich launches Conway straight up into the air, and watches him crash down to the mat chest first. Heidenrich grabs Conway and pulls him up to his feet. Heidenreich grabs Conway around the throat and goes for his Spinning Chokeslam. But before it can connect, Sylvian Grenier jumps into the ring and nails Heidenrich with the French Flag in the back of the head. Heidenrich looks like he's spazzing out before grabbing Grenier by the neck and choke tossing him out of the ring. Heidenrich grabs the flag and snaps it in half. Heidenreich begins to choke Conway with the flag. Conway is gasping for air. Dupree jumps into the ring but is met with a shot to the face with the broken flag. Heidenreich starts looking around menacingly, like he is going to hit anything that moves. Rosey, yells something at him as if to tell him to get the ref up. Heidenreich walks over to Rosey, glares deep into his eyes, and then lifts him up off of the ring apron by the throat and chokeslams him straight to the floor below. By now, the referee is finally back up and wondering what the hell happened while he was out. Heidenreich is looking over the top rope admiring his handiwork when from behind a gasping Conway rolls him up. 1, 2, 3.

WINNERS: LA RESISTANCE

*WRITTEN BY MAN WITH A PLAN HEAVILY EDITED BY ESSA*

OR: 60

CR: 45

MQ: 76

*1/2

This match suffered because the crowd were still pumped up from the last one, and so this bout was seen as something of a let-down to them. Rob Conway is losing overness because of his weak gimmick.

Jim Ross: Heidenreich has snapped again!

Jerry Lawler: There's something that's just not right about this guy.

Jim Ross: You're telling me King. But up next we have what could be a preview of Team Austin vs Team Bischoff at the Survivor Series.

ROB VAN DAM & BOOKER T Vs. TEST & SCOTT STEINER

The lights go off in the arena, now encovered in darkness. Suddenly "One Of A Kind" by Breaking Point hits as a green spotlight appears at the top of the ramp. Rob Van Dam walks out wearing his black boots with a green and white dragon singlet. RVD steps into the spotlight and walks down to the ring doing his "thumb taunt". The spotlight follows RVD until he slides into the ring. The arena lighting goes back on as RVD hops up onto the middle turnbuckle and once again does the R...V...D... thumb pose. "Can You Dig It SUCKAAAA" is heard over the PA system. Booker T steps out onto the entrance way, wearing white boots and white short tights with Booker T written on them in the back, and throws his hands up in the air as his pyro shoots off. Booker T slaps hands with some fans before getting up onto the ring apron. Booker T steps through the middle rope and does his side step and raises the roof. Booker then walks over to the corner of the ring and huddles with his partner, Rob Van Dam.

"Holla If Ya Hear Me" hits as Scott Steiner, wearing long black tights with Freakzilla enscribed in red on the backside, Test, wearing short silver tights, and Stacy Keibler, wearing a black halter top and very short black shorts, stand side by side at the top of the ramp and looking down at Booker T and RVD. Stacy seems reluctant to be there, and is literally being forced to the ring by Test and Steiner. From the ring, Booker T and Rob Van Dam motion for Test and Steiner to bring it on. Test and Steiner deliberate for a few seconds before charging down to the ring, dragging Stacy along with them.

Test is the first in the ring. He slides underneath Booker T's legs! Test quickly slides out of the ring as Booker T turns around and looks for him. Scott Steiner runs straight at Booker T from behind, but Booker saw it coming and hits a back elbow to Steiner right in the face. Booker climbs up to the nearest middle rope. He jumps off and nails a missile dropkick straight in the face of Scott Steiner. Steiner bumbles around before falling against the bottom rope and out of the ring! Steiner regroups, gets in the ring and makes the tag in to Test.

Test steps forward and after a short feeling out process, Booker T tries to take his head off with a haymaker. Test ducks and picks Booker T up, looking for a Back Suplex. But Booker T flips backwards and shoves Test into the ropes. Test bounces back and Booker T lifts him up in the Book End. Steiner sees this and steps back into the ring. RVD runs in and delivers a heel kick to the face of Steiner which knocks him right back through the middle rope. But the distraction was enough for Test, as he booted Booker T in the stomach and then hit an STO like maneuver.

Booker turns over and is lying on his stomach. The Bookerman tries to push himself up off the ground, but Test is already up and waiting for him. Test grabs him by the dreadlocks, and pulls him up to his feet. Test locks in a weak Front face lock and starts nailing Booker T with knees to the exposed stomach and ribs. Test switches the front face lock to a head lock, but Booker grabs Test and shoves him off into the ropes. Test bounces off the ropes and Booker T drills him with a flying forearm to the face! Test goes down hard, but gets right back up as Booker whips him into the corner. Booker charges forward and leaps up, looking to squash Test into the turnbuckles but Test moves out of the way! Test points to his head and gives off a cocky smirk. Test turns around and is met by a sudden clothesline from Booker T.

Jim Ross: Very nice Clothesline from Booker T, who has finally taken Test off of his feet.

Booker rolls to his feet and drags Test into his corner. Booker T makes the tag into RVD. Booker hooks Test in a front face lock as RVD gets into the ring and wraps his arms around Test's head too. RVD and Booker hit Test with a lightning quick Snap Suplex! RVD floats over for the pin as Booker T rolls out of the ring. 1, 2, Test gets his foot on the ropes. RVD pulls him up and whips him into a corner. RVD runs alongside Test until RVD does a quick somersault on the mat, before jumping onto Test in the corner. RVD goes for a monkey flip, but Test pushes him off. But RVD gets right back in his face. RVD starts to pepper Test with some forearms, before jumping onto the middle rope and hitting a karate kick right to the side of Test's face. Test starts to stumble out of the corner, but RVD shoulderbutt's him in the midsection knocking him right back into the corner. RVD does a backflip and then hits Test with another, bigger shoulderbutt. RVD gets up and smiles at the wounded Test. RVD whips Test into the opposite corner and runs after him once more, but this time he is greete by an elbow to the face from Test. RVD stumbles around after the elbow. Test spins RVD around and goes for a right hand, but RVD grabs Test's outstretched arm and hits him with a Single Arm DDT. RVD kips up, ready to do more damage to Test. RVD does the thumb taunt at Test, but before he can finish it, he is taken down by a vicious clothesline from Scott Steiner that totally blindsided RVD.

Jim Ross: Ouch! This Scott Steiner is so damn powerful.

Jerry Lawler: If Rob Van Dam and Booker T want to stay in this game, they've got to avoid Scott's power at all costs!

Stiener does some pushup taunts as RVD slowly gets up, and tries to pounce on an unsuspecting Steiner. Steiner spins around just in time, and grabs the charging RVD by his tights, and drops him down throat first on the middle rope. RVD falls off of the middle rope, and falls flat on his face. Steiner gets up quickly. Steiner pulls RVD right back up to his feet, and chucks him into the ropes. RVD somehow reverses the whip and sends Steiner into the ropes instead. RVD crouches down for a back body drop, awaiting Steiner, but Steiner wraps his arms around the ropes and stays there. RVD runs forward but at the last second Steiner lunges at him with a massive clothesline.

Jim Ross: And again, its the brute strength of Scott Steiner that can just suddenly knock you out.

Jerry Lawler: I'll bet that Rob Van Dam will feel this one in the morning.

Steiner walks along the ropes and tags in Test. Test takes his time stepping over the ropes as Steiner pulls RVD up to his feet. Steiner grabs RVD by the arm, and Irish Whips him into Test. Test drills RVD with one powerful Powerslam! RVD is nearly out of it, which prompts Booker T to start smashing the top turnbuckle, wanting to get back into the match. Test pulls RVD up to his feet and drags him into Steiner's corner. Test holds RVD in a side-headlock and starts laughing at Booker T. Booker T tries to reach out for his partner, but he just can't. But Booker T is able to grab Test by the hair! Booker pulls Test's hair into his corner and slams him face first into the turnbuckle. Booker T then grabs Test and guillotines him on the top rope. RVD slowly backs away as Test turns around, dazed. Test quickly comes to, and goes to boot RVD in the stomach. RVD catches his leg with one hand, and then does a cross over heel kick that knocks Test down. Korderas is in Booker's corner admonishing him for attacking Test when Steiner runs in. Steiner scoops up RVD in a Gorilla Press Slam Position. Steiner starts bench pressing RVD and walks over to Booker's corner. Steiner tries to throw RVD at Booker, but RVD's cat like reflexes land him on the top turnbuckle. RVD then jumps off and hits Steiner with a Martial Arts kick to the face knocking him out of the ring.

Test walks up behind RVD and grabs him in a Full Nelson. Test then slams RVD with the Full Nelson Slam. Test makes a quick cover on RVD. 1, 2, Booker T breaks it up. Test gets up and starts to have a little argument with Booker T. Test charges at Booker T and goes for a Big Boot! Booker drops out of the way and Test slams his foot into the face of Jim Korderas. Korderas falls down, but sells it like he's the Undertaker. Steiner sees the ref being knocked out, and barks at Stacy to throw him in a chair. Stacy sheepishly puts a chair under the bottom rope. Steiner bends down to pick up the chair, and is almost beheaded when Booker T tries to hit the Scissors Kick. But Steiner saw him quickly enough and got out of the way. Booker crashed ass first on the steel chair. Booker got up holding his back. Steiner picks up the chair and wallops Booker in the back with it. Booker falls and Steiner kicks him out of the ring. Steiner gets up with the chair, and RVD tries to hit him with the Van Daminator! Steiner ducks, and when RVD turns back around Steiner holds the chair in front of his face and Test BOOTS THE CHAIR INTO RVD'S FACE! Test drops on top of the prone body of RVD. Steiner picks up Korderas by the back of his shirt and throws him a few inches away from Test and RVD. Korderas sees the pin and counts 1, 2, 3. Commercial break.

WINNERS: TEST & SCOTT STEINER

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

OR: 82

CR: 83

MQ: 81

***

Jerry Lawler: You see JR, that was exactly why Jericho doesn't want women at ringside.

Jim Ross: What are you a big Jericho fan all of a sudden?

Jerry Lawler: No, I just happen to agree with him on some pressing issues.

Jim Ross: This is about wrestling, not your "issues". If you want to talk about issues then go run for mayor of Memphis.

SHANE IS READY FOR KANE!

The lights dim, and a video shows up on the Titantron. We see clips of Shane McMahon smiling and dancing from various times, such as InVasion 2001 after defeating Team WWF, and when he purchased WCW from under the nose of his own father.

Shane (voice-over): I like to think of myself as a happy guy. I don't get angry, and I like to have a laugh.

We are then shown clips of Shane meeting people backstage, shaking hands and chatting with people like Test, Big Show and Matt Hardy, all from around the time when he bought WCW.

Shane: I get along well with people. It takes a lot for someone to annoy me so much that I dislike them. But sometimes....

The video now shows Kane Tombstoning Linda McMahon on the entrance ramp, and its shown in colour before the whole video changes to black and white, and its shown again.

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Shane: Sometimes, somebody can do one thing that takes me over the edge. If they step over the line, I'm more than willing to step over it myself in order to get my revenge.

We see Shane doing his trademark crazy moves, such as the 50 foot elbow drop on the Big Show at Backlash 2001, and assorted moves from his match against Kurt Angle at King of the Ring 2001.

Shane: I might not look like much, but when I get my passion, and when I get focused, there's only one way to stop me, and that's to finish me once and for all.

Some of Shane's biggest bumps are shown, such as falling through the stage at SummerSlam 2000 against Steve Blackman, and missing Kane at Unforgiven 2003 when he dived off the stage. We see him carried off in a stretcher following the match with Angle at King of the Ring.

Shane: No matter what people do to me, and no matter what hurdle gets in my way, I have the courage, I have the determination and I have the guts to get back on my feet, dust myself off, and get ready for whatever that person is gonna throw at me next.

We then see highlights of the Kane vs. Shane McMahon feud, such as Kane electrifying Shane's testicles, Shane sending a limo with Kane in it straight towards a truck, Shane throwing Kane into a flaming dumpster, and Kane Tombstoning Shane on the steel ringsteps.[/red]

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Shane: I have experienced hell in my life at certain times, but I'm a survivor, and I'll keep taking the punishment until finally I get my reward.

We see a final assorted clips of Shane's daredevil antics, before the video slows down on him walking backwards staring at the ring.

Shane: People can insult my way of life, they can insult my family, my friends, my heroes, and I'll laugh it off. But when they hurt my family and hurt my pride, then I lose responsibilty for my actions, and whatever happens.... happens.

The video fades out.

OR: 81

*WRITTEN BY CHRIS2K

Jerry Lawler: Shane seems awfully confident going into an Ambulance match with his nemesis Kane.

Jim Ross: That's the way he has to be if he wants to stand any chance at all of beating him.

ONE MAN SHORT... BUT NOT FOR LONG

Backstage, we see a locker-room door half open, and the camera walks in through the door. We see Maven, Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak all in there. Jindrak holds an ice pack to his back, recovering from the knocks he sustained during his match with Batista. Cade is pacing around nervously, and somewhat angrily, whereas Maven appears to be playing the voice of reason.

Maven: Look Garrison, just calm down man. It'll all work out in the end.

Cade: Oh yeah, you always say that. You've been saying it will all work out in the end for weeks, and still nothing's changed! Every week Evolution get the better of us, and very soon we're taking them on in a 4 on 4 match at Survivor Series.

Jindrak: Yeah, well what's the problem?

Cade: The problem? What do you think that damn problem is Mark, we're not too far away from the match, and we've only got three people, whereas they have Orton, Flair, Batista and Nowinski. It's gonna be hard enough to take them on 4 on 4, but 3 on 4 we may as well just give up and go home before the match starts.

Maven: Hey come on, we'll find someone.

Cade: Well we've looked, but nobody seems to care....

Just then there's a knock at the door, and a familiar figure walks into shot.

HBK: Hey guys.

The crowd go nuts for seeing HBK on the screen.

Maven: Hey man.

Jindrak: Hey.

Cade: What the hell do you want?

HBK: Whoa whoa whoa, calm it down Cadey. Don't tell me you're off on

one of your temper tantrums.

Maven and Jindrak start laughing.

Maven: Oh yeah, so these are common?

HBK: Oh yeah, when I was training him he always had these kind of hissy-fits. One time, he...

Cade: Look Shawn, are you here for a reason or are just going to belittle me in front of everyone?

HBK: Ok, whatever. I'm actually here to help you. You know, you guys are young, you're talented, and you guys are without doubt the future of this business. But come on, face it. You guys are acting pretty dumb in these last few weeks, and stupidity isn't going to help you climb the ladder of success like I did.

Cade: Hey, if you're going to insult us, then go away!

HBK: Will you please calm down? Like I said, I'm here to help you. Look, you need someone to help you out at Survivor Series right? Well I'll be your fourth man, and maybe you can learn a few things about winning from the Heartbreak Kid.

Maven: Oh yeah, that's great.

Jindrak: Thanks Shawn, that'd be awesome.

Jindrak, Maven and Michaels all look towards Cade, who has his back turned to all three of them. He finally turns around.

Cade: Ok, whatever. Just make sure you don't screw up.

HBK: Hey, maybe you should make sure that YOU don't screw up.

Cade: Shut up ok? God dammit, you've always been full of it haven't you? Always thinking you're the best, always thinking nothing can stop you. Well maybe if you'd put your brain into gear occasionally, you wouldn't have made so many career-threatening mistakes during your time here.

Maven: Calm down ok, you're just pissed off. We really are thankful Shawn.

HBK: Cool. See you around.

HBK walks out of the locker-room, but not before casting a strange look at Cade. We hear Jindrak ask Cade what his problem is, but Cade walks off without answering.

*WRITTEN BY CHRIS2K*

OR: 88

Maven gained overness from being the voice of reason.

Jim Ross: Shawn Michaels is teaming with Cade, Jindrak and Maven!

Jerry Lawler: I know JR, but what was with Cade's attitude there?

Jim Ross: I don't know King, but maybe he's just a bit fed up with their losing streak to Evolution.

Edited by Essa
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THE RETURN OF A LEGEND

We hear "Ooh, what a rush!" over the PA system, a sound that comes as quite a surprise to the Boston crowd, who, along with everybody else, had heard of the death of Michael 'Road Warrior Hawk' Hegstrand just a few days before the show. The crowd pop as they see who it is walking down to the ring though, Road Warrior Animal wearing a black suit and without facepaint or the usual Road Warrior wrestling attire. Animal walks down to the ring carrying a Legion of Doom shoulderpad, and gets a microphone from Lillian Garcia, before walking to the centre of the ring.

Animal: Thank you. Thank you everybody. As I'm sure you're all aware that just three days ago, my tag team partner and my best buddy in the whole world, Michael Hegstrand, better known to the fans as Road Warrior Hawk, died peacefully. His sudden departure from this world has shocked us all, but we must remember the good times that we shared with him, and he provided for us. Therefore, it is my honour in association with Vince McMahon and World Wrestling Entertainment to show you this video package documenting Michael's wrestling career.

We see a video of Hawk's time in wrestling, ranging from his Road Warriors debut in 1983 in NWA, to his work in AWA and Japan. We also see a few highlights of his brief stint as a singles competitor in ECW, before we move on to the main feature, his work in the WWF. The video ends with clips of Hawk winning all his titles, from NWA to his many WWF World titles, and him collecting the award for 'Tag Team of the Century'. The video freezes on a picture of Hawk, tongue out and in full Legion of Doom regalia, with the words: R.I.P. Michael Hegstrand: 1958-2003. An address and telephone number also comes up for those who wish to donate money to the family Hawk has left behind.

Back in the arena, and the crowd are all on their feet giving a standing ovation to the video package, and Animal himself leaves the ring for a few moments, placing the shoulderpad in the centre of the ring to represent Hawk, as the crowd continue to cheer and applaud. The crowd then die down, as the ring bell is sounded ten times as a mark of respect to Road Warrior Hawk. After nearly a minute's worth of ovation for Hawk following the salute, Animal climbs back into the ring, and starts to speak again.

Animal: Well I'm sure Hawk is looking down on all of us right now, and saying "Come on Animal, these guys came to watch some wrestling, not you getting teary-eyed on them all!", so I'm going to leave you now, but...

Before Animal can leave, the Y2J Countdown hits on the titantron:

**5**

**4**

**3**

**2**

**1**

The lights go out, and the pyros explode, as Chris Jericho and Christian walk down to the ring with the crowd really on their back. They climb into the ring as well, and Animal stares both of them down, not moving an inch. Jericho has his own microphone with him, and it isn't long before he's speaking.

Jericho: Well, well, well, Road Warrior Animal. What an honour it is to have you here tonight, and how touching it is to see you mark the death of one of your friends and your tag team partner. It takes a man to do that, and I respect you for that.

The crowd politely applaud Jericho's sentiments.

Jericho: However, there's a problem. You see, with Hawk's untimely death, it appears that your mantle of 'Best Tag Team Ever' is unattainable for anyone else. But hey, I bet that suits you down to the ground, doesn't it Animal? I mean, it was always Hawk who was the best out of the two of you. You were always living in his shadow. You even got so DESPERATE, that you had to go to WCW to try and get the fans to notice you when Hawk wasn't around! I mean, that's scraping the barrel pretty low.

The fans are now booing Jericho again, even though he insulted WCW.

Jericho: But hey, we're not out here to disrespect you Mr. Animal. No, we're here to INTERVIEW you, on this impromptu edition of Chris Jericho's Hi-Lite Reel!

Christian applauds, but most of the fans do little but boo the Canadians.

Jericho: First question, you and Hawk were friends for twenty years, have you got any funny stories about your time on the road?

Animal: Well since you asked, there was this one time when....

Jericho: Yeah yeah, that's great. Save it for the memoirs. Question 2, who's idea was it to wear those stupid shoulderpads to the ring?

Animal: Well I don't think they're stupid, but anyway: One day me and Hawk were talking to the wardrobe desi....

Jericho: Yeah, whatever. Final question, who's better, The Legion of Doom or the Road Warriors?

Animal: What? They're the same damn team you idiot!

Jericho: Really? Wow, can't say I noticed. Ok, who's the better team, Legion of Doom SLASH Road Warriors or Vitamin C?

Jericho and Christian smile at Animal suggestively...

Animal: Well seeing as I don't have a clue who Vitamin C are, I'm probably gonna say the Legion of...

Christian: You haven't heard of Vitamin C? HELLO! We're standing right in front of you, ya fat ugly washed-up moron!

Christian's insult sends Animal's face into an angry sneer, and the Road Warrior flips out, clotheslining both Jericho and Christian to the mat. Animal continues to be on top for a bit, but soon the two on one situation becomes overbearing, and Jericho and Christian start to destroy the wrestling legend. However, before they can finish Animal off for good, the D-Bombs drop, and Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley run out to a huge pop from the fans, and start taking out Jericho and Christian with right hands and clotheslines. D-Von and Bubba wait for Jericho to get back to his feet when the theme song to Wrestlemania X plays! Out walks Linda McMahon on to the stage in a blue business suit. Bubba, D-Von, Animal and the downed Jericho and Christian all look at Linda. Jericho and Christian seem to be pleased that their beating has stopped, but Bubba and D-Von look pissy.

Jim Ross: The audacity of Jericho and Christian to just interrupt this man during a heart felt speech and make a mockery out of his whole career!

Jerry Lawler: This really is a travesty folks.

Linda: Pardon me guys, I've got a bit of an announcement to make involving this Sunday's Survivor Series, live on Pay Per View. Now, Bubba, D-Von, believe me when I say there is nothing that I would like more than to see you throw these little twerps all over the ring, but this is just too important to push off any longer. Eric Bischoff and Stone Cold Steve Austin have had nearly two hours to give me a phone call, fax, email, anything at all, telling me who their final team members are for their match at Survivor Series where if Steve Austin's team wins he will not need physical provocation to attack people AND Eric Bischoff will be removed from his Co General Manager Status. However, if Eric Bischoff's team wins, Steve Austin will be fired from his spot as Co-General Manager and will never appear on World Wrestling Entertainment TV ever again. I'm an impatient person, so sitting there for almost two hours and not getting the phone call made me think. They had their chance to pick their teammates but they just didn't do it. So, now I will pick their teammates for them. As you will probably be able to tell, I put a lot of thought into these two picks. At first I didn't know who to select, but then I started thinking about WWE Superstars that didn't have a match at Survivor Series. Immediately two people came to mind. First, the fifth member of Steve Austin's team... This person has held one of the most prestigious titles in the world of wrestling, this person is a true superstar, with a true hatred for Chris Jericho and Christian. This person is... TRISH STRATUS!

Jericho and Christian start laughing hysterically at Linda's ridiculous announcement.

Linda: But Eric Bischoff's team will also have someone with those same credentials, because VICTORIA will be on his team! Now I know you're all thinking, "Wow, that was one blockbuster announcement", but I'm not done just yet. Because this Five vs Five Survivors Series Match will not be just a regular tag team match.

The lights dim a little, and the hanging cage starts to slowly lower.

Linda: All throughout this month, the members of Team Bischoff have been trying to use this Steel Cage to their advantage. So I think it's only fair that Team Austin gets their chance to use the Steel Cage to their advantage. That is exactly why I made this Five vs Five Survival Match a... WAR GAMES MATCH.

The crowd erupts while Jericho and Christian start flipping out.

Linda: For all of you that haven't seen a War Games match before, I'll go over the rules for you. There are two rings, enclosed by one giant Steel Cage. The match will start out with one member of each team in the ring. From then on, every two minutes another random wrestler will enter the ring until all ten participants have entered the cage. The match ends when an entire team is eliminated. Eliminations can occur by pinfall and submission. I know, it's a sudden change of plan, but I think it'll be much more enjoyable for all of our WWE fans. Oh, and guys, just to make sure that you're acquainted with the cage at Survivor Series, your Tag Team Match is now a Cage Match!

Jim Ross: Bah gawd WAR GAMES AT SUHVIVOR SERIES BAH GAWD.

Jerry Lawler: What are you having a heart attack?

ANIMAL/JERICHO/CHRISTIAN WRITTEN BY CHRIS2K - LINDA WRITTEN BY ESSA

OR: 91

Road Warrior Animal gained overness from his emotional return.

THE DUDLEY BOYZ VS VITAMIN C - TAG TEAM TITLE CAGE MATCH

Linda McMahon turns her back and walks backstage. Inside the ring, a very pissed off Jericho and Christian try to take advantage of Bubba and D-Von. Outside of the ring, Road Warrior Animal stays at ringside, even though he isn't involved in the match. Vitamin C charge at the Dudleyz and take them down with duel clotheslines. The ominous steel cage is almost done lowering. Jericho picks up Bubba and starts chopping away at him in the corner, while Christian drags D-Von to wear his hand is dangling right off the ring apron. The cage is getting closer and closer to being fully lowered, and crushing D-Von's hand. On the other side of the ring, Bubba finally stops Jericho's chopping spree with a boot to the gut, and a clothesline out of the corner. Bubba rushes to the other side of the ring and grabs D-Von by the legs. Bubba pulls D-Von free of Christian's grasp and out of harms way just as the cage lowers completely. Bubba bends down to check on D-Von, and is caught off guard when Jericho runs off of the ropes and delivers a Bulldog to Bubba Dudley!

With Bubba down, Jericho and Christian went right after D-Von, and more specifically D-Von's heavily taped hand. They lift D-Von up to his feet, and Christian looks D-Von in a top Wristlock. This normally painless hold has D-Von screaming out in pain. Christian and Jericho take D-Von to the corner. Christian raises D-Von's hand up in the air and then slams it down hard into the top turnbuckle. D-Von reacts like he was shot and just slumps down to the ground. Jericho and Christian start putting stomps to the fallen D-Von. Christian then walks away from D-Von and goes after Bubba.

Bubba is now back on his feet and meets Christian with a succession of strong right hands that backs Christian up into the ropes. Bubba grabs Christian by his hair, spins him around and rams him face first into the cage. On the other side of the ring, Jericho picks D-Von up off of the ground. Jericho grabs D-Von by the ear, and Bubba grabs Christian by the ear. They walk to the opposite sides of the cage, pass right by each other, and launch their opponents head first into the cage! D-Von and Christian bounce off of the cage and are totally out on their feet. They both turn around and start stumbling until they bump into each other and fall down flat on their faces.

Jericho looks at Bubba before running towards the ropes and starting to climb. Jericho jumps right up to the middle rope, and then steps up to the third rope and starts climbing up to the top of the cage. Bubba climbs up after him. Jericho is near the top of the cage while Bubba is just to the top rope. Bubba grabs Jericho's leg and tries to pull him down, but Jericho uses his other leg to kick Bubba right in the head and knock him off the top rope and to the mat below! Jericho finishes his ascencion, and starts climbing down the other side of the cage. Jericho is nearly at the bottom of the cage, and is about ready to drop when he turns his head slightly and sees Animal standing right behind him. Jericho quickly starts climbing right back up the cage. On the outside, Animal shoves the time keeper and takes his chair. Animal throws the chair up at Jericho but it misses Jericho and lands in the ring.

Jericho starts climbing down the inside of the cage. He gets down to the top turnbuckle, and D-Von is there to start meeting him with hard left hands, because he is still selling his right hand injury. D-Von finishes peppering Jericho with left hands before hooking him up for a Super Plex! But Jericho is holding onto the cage. D-Von keeps trying but can't muscle Jericho off the cage. Bubba gets back to his feet and sees what's going on. Bubba goes over to them, and climbs onto the bottom turnbuckle so that D-Von is stacked on his shoulders. Bubba falls flat back and together the Dudley Boyz deliver a STACKING SUPERPLEX to Chris Jericho!

All four men are down in the ring. D-Von does his little spazzing motion with his back where it looks like he's humping the ring. Bubba's playing dead. Jericho is on his back breathing rapidly, and Christian is a bloody mess on the ground after getting thrown into the cage so many times. Bubba and D-Von start to get to their feet at about the same time as Christian gets to his feet. Christian pulls himself up using the ropes, and D-Von tries to lift him up for the 3D! But, D-Von can't get Christian up. D-Von finally gets Christian up, and Bubba goes to hit his portion of the 3D but from out of nowhere Jericho blindsides Bubba with a chair shot to the face, busting him wide open. D-Von turns around and sees Jericho with the chair. He puts his hands up to try and block the oncoming chair shot, but it does more harm than good as Jericho blasts D-Von right in his bad hand with the steel chair.

D-Von rolls around screaming in pain and holding his arm. Jericho and Christian walk to the cage door and are ready to leave, but they see Animal standing outside of the door armed with a chair licking his lips just waiting for Jericho and Christian to get out of the cage. Jericho and Christian shake their heads and turn back around. They go back to work on D-Von. Jericho picks D-Von up and puts him in position for a sideslam. Christian grabs D-Von's head, and together they do a Sideslam/Falling Reverse DDT to D-Von which has him down and out. Jericho then grabs the dented steel chair and closes it on D-Von's right hand, much like Pillman used to do to the ankle. Then Christian climbs up to the top rope. Christian jumps off the middle turnbuckle and stomps right on the chair CRUSHING D-Von's hand.

D-Von is in so much pain, and his wrist just might be broken. But Jericho and Christian have a much bigger problem. They have to get past Animal on the outside. Jericho and Christian huddle together before Christian runs to the other side of the ring. Christian starts climbing up to the top rope and climbs up part of the cage. Christian starts trash talking at Animal which draws him away from the door to the other side of the ring by Christian. Jericho sees his opening and opens up the door. But before he can get out the door TRISH STRATUS runs down to the ring and slams the door on Jericho's head. Jericho falls flat on his ass before rolling over. He rolls back over and now his head is bleeding. Four men, four pools of blood.

Christian sees what's going on and starts climbing back into the cage to check on Jericho. But then he sees Bubba Ray Dudley back on his feet, and changes direction climbing right back up onto the cage. Christian is drained, but Bubba seems to get a burst of energy as he and Christian are both standing on the fence, near the top. Christian tries to get over, but Bubba grabs him by his head and slams it right into the cage. Bubba slams Christian's head into the cage again. And again. And again. And again. Christian starts to lose his balance and looks as if he's falling. Bubba then jumps off the cage, and catches Christian with the BUBBA CUTTER FROM THE CAGE TO THE MAT!

Both men are down for about 8 seconds before Bubba gets to his feet. Bubba, again, climbs up the cage. Jericho and Christian are still down showing no signs of life. Bubba gets to the outside of the cage and starts climbing down the cage. Bubba drops from the cage onto the outside of the ring! Bubba is out of the cage. Bubba falls down right away, drained from the big match. Now it's all up to a one armed D-Von. By now all three men are starting to battle their way up to their feet. Jericho puts a stomp to the head of a kneeling D-Von which takes him right back down. Jericho and Christian open up the door, and look at Animal. A bloody Jericho and Christian start walking down the stairs practically begging Animal not to hit them. Jericho gets down the stairs first, and his feet hit the floor. Jericho is out of the cage! Jericho hightails it to the back to avoid Animal. Christian is about to get off the stairs, but instead, Animal grabs Christian, and lifts him up onto his shoulders. Animal holds Christian up on his shoulders! Christian is out of the cage, but his feet haven't touched the floor. Bubba reaches back in the ring and pulls D-Von by his good arm. Bubba pulls D-Von underneath the bottom rope, and down the stairs. Bubba stands D-Von up on the floor outside of the ring! THE DUDLEY BOYZ HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE CAGE. Animal rams Christian face first into the cage before dropping him like a sack of bricks. Raw goes off the air with Bubba and Animal helping D-Von to the back with their tag titles still intact.

WINNERS: THE DUDLEY BOYZ

OR: 85

CR: 81

MQ: 89

D-Von Dudley gained overness from doing a good job of selling his hand injury. Bubba Ray Dudley gained overness from that humongous Bubba Cutter. The WWE World Tag Team titles have gained in image from such a bloody match.

*WRITTEN BY ESSA*

SHOW RATING: 81

So, now that we're all caught up... There's one Smackdown and one Velocity before Survivor Series. I lost the first Raw, and most of the first Smackdown so I summarized as best as I could. I've already started work on the first Smackdown, so it should be up within a few days. Any thoughts/comments/opinions so far?

Edited by Essa
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Of course it was inappropriate...they're heels, and that's what heels do. At least they waited until Animal was leaving rather than cutting off the tribute video...which is exactly what, say, the nWo would have done.

A nice start, Essa, just a few formatting issues to work out. The promos, especially Chris2k's (nice touch offering credit, BTW) are very well-written, and I especially enjoyed the one with Cade and HBK. Finally, Cade grows a personality! Not sure I see Linda McMahon calling anyone twerps, though.

For a Raw, the matches are FUCKING HUGE! I shudder to see how long PPV matches will be.

Finally, some excellent touches: Nowinski begging to join Evolution and the return of some good ol' fashioned Hardcore chaos...but if it's still gonna be comedy relief, I hope you'll confine it to Heat.

That's all I got for now.

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Of course it was inappropriate...they're heels, and that's what heels do.  At least they waited until Animal was leaving rather than cutting off the tribute video...which is exactly what, say, the nWo would have done.

A nice start, Essa, just a few formatting issues to work out.  The promos, especially Chris2k's (nice touch offering credit, BTW) are very well-written, and I especially enjoyed the one with Cade and HBK.  Finally, Cade grows a personality!  Not sure I see Linda McMahon calling anyone twerps, though.

For a Raw, the matches are FUCKING HUGE!  I shudder to see how long PPV matches will be. 

Finally, some excellent touches: Nowinski begging to join Evolution and the return of some good ol' fashioned Hardcore chaos...but if it's still gonna be comedy relief, I hope you'll confine it to Heat.

That's all I got for now.

I think the segment fit Jericho & Christian well. Plus, like you said, the tribute was done, and then it was turned into an angle. I don't find that too inappropriate, distasteful or unrealistic. Yeah, Chris was a big help.

I just tried to write Linda McMahon as an old lady, and I figured old ladies called kids twerps. I loved writing the BBQ Sauce Match, and the Cage match. Fun shit, fun shit.

Nowinski always entertained me, and I figured this is a good spot for him to be in. Plus it keeps him active. And, well, the Hardcore Title... let's just say I have plans.

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Thanks for the compliments about my promos guys, but screw them for the minute. I'd much rather you complimented Essa's fantastic matches and storyline ideas than me though.

As for the Animal thing, I think someone didn't like it back at EWB3. As jstarr and Essa said, I could have really made it distasteful, but I wouldn't want to do that. It's borderline I'd say, but of no real offence to the deceased Hawk (in fact, all of the Hawk comments from Jericho praise him).

Essa's just asked me to write some more stuff, which is a helluva honour for me. So I'd better get my writing... boots on :shifty:

Edited by Chris2K
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  • 3 weeks later...

Before the Smackdown pyro and video package goes off, the camera focuses in on the carpet of a locker room. The camera pans up a little, and we see a pair of male legs, in silk leopard pants, with shiny red shoes on. The man starts dancing like he's James Brown. The camera pans in on the mans face, and it's Ernest "The Cat" Miller.

The Cat: Waaaaatch me now. I Jame Brown.

The Cat keeps on dancing. At one point he grabs his crotch, and does a split before hopping right back up to his feet to dance some more. The Cat then does a Moonwalk, and he keeps moonwalking backwards until he bumps into someone.

The Cat: Whoever that is betta call there momma cause the Cat's a lay a assuh whoopin on ya. I'm a three time world karatay champion baby.

The Cat turns around, and bumps right into the Undertaker. Undertaker stares him down, but then smiles at him.

Undertaker: You're here on Smackdown one week, and you're already paranoid? Good... Because you'll learn more sooner than later that here on Smackdown, you're going to need to learn how to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

The Cat: Learn, sonny I learn that da hard way back at the WCW. I work my ass off and prove that I AM THE GREATEST wrestler, dancer, sex machine, and karatay champion in the world..

Undertaker: Yeah, so you think that you know it all because you know how to throw a kick? You think you know everything? Well let me tell you something. Here on Smackdown, we've got a sleezeball General Manager and his gang of some of the toughest wrestlers in the world. And, we've got an owner that doesn't give a damn about anything but himself. You get in his way, and he won't hesitate for a second to break you down, and there isn't anything you could do to stop him... but, you know what Cat?

The Cat: What?

Undertaker: It doesn't have to be that way... You didn't have to help me out last week, but you did. And you know something... I'm not the worst person to have on your side. You see, the WWE is where the big dogs are, and right now, you're looking at the biggest, baddest dog in this yard.

The Cat: And you lookin at the most ass kickinest Cat in the yard. Ya dig?

Undertaker starts smiling a little.

Undertaker: Yeah, I can dig it. Now, I know you have your debut match up next with Matt Morgan, and you probably know that he doesn't go anywhere without Nathan Jones. I just want you to know that if you need my help out there tonight, I'll be out there to return the favor from last week.

The Cat: Awright, now somebody betta call my mama cause I'm bout ready to whoop me some fatboy Matt Morgan ass in the ring baby. Whoo, I am the greatest. Dance with me baby.

Cat starts to do his James Brown routine while the Undertaker just looks at him awkwardly and walks out of the room.

OR: 75

Undertaker loses overness.

Written by Essa

WWE SMACKDOWN

NOVEMBER 13, 2003

LIVE FROM THE CONTINENTAL AIRLINES ARENA, EAST RUTHERFORD NEW JERSEY

user posted image

Michael Cole: HELLO and welcome to WWE Smackdown, live from The Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford New Jersey.

Tazz: No doubt Cole, tonight's gonna be somethin' special. Cuz we're just ova the riva from my home in Red Hook.

Michael Cole: Is that right?

Tazz: What do you think, I'm lyin' to you Cole? We're so close to Red Hook that my boy Joey Numbaz is here.

Michael Cole: Well, tonight really is special because after tonight's Smackdown there's only three more days until Survivor Series.

Tazz: No doubt Cole, no doubt. Things are just gonna get even more HOT tonight. At Suhviva Series, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Da Cat, and Da APA are gonna go at it with Brock Lesnah, Da Big Show, John Cena, and rookies Matt Morgan and Nathan JOnes. And just to give 'em a bit of a warmup, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are gonna have it out with Da Big Show and John Cena.

Michael Cole: You're right Tazz, and just minutes ago we saw the Undertaker backstage with The Cat. He's in a good mood tonight, but what kind of mood will he be in on Sunday when he battles Vince McMahon, our BOSS!!~~! in a Buried Alive Match!

Tazz: Of course he'll be in a good mood moron. He'll be whoopin' some McMahon ass. But foreal Cole, tonight we're gonna find out whetha or not the Guerreros are gonna get Tag Title shots against the Bashams at Suhviva Series, when they take on Chahlie and Shelton, Da Worlds Greatest Tag Team. If Da Guerreros win, they get Title shots, but if they lose, da Basham's get da night off at Suhviva Series.

Michael Cole: And, also at Suhviva Series we're gonna prove that Smackdown has the best Cruiserweight Division in the World, when Tajiri defends his Cruiserweight Title against Ultimo Dragon, Rey Mysterio Jr., and Jamie Noble in an Ultimate Survivors Match.

Tazz: Cole, Suhviva Series is gonna be off da hook.

Michael Cole: But we have to get through tonight before we can get to Survivor Series Tazz. And we're going to kick things off with a match between two men in the big five vs five match, Ernest "The Cat" Miller and Matt Morgan.

MATT MORGAN VS THE CAT

"I AAAAAM THE GREATEST" is heard on the PA system, and out comes Ernest "The Cat" Miller to begin his very first WWE matchup against newcomer Matt Morgan. Miller struts and dances his way down to the ring. He walks up the steps, and onto the apron. Miller moonwalks on the apron, and then steps over the middle rope and gets in the ring. Miller again starts his gyrating/dancing, while taking off his silk leopard print jacket. He starts to do the robot, when Paul Heyman's music hits.

Matt Morgan comes out wearing blue trunks with yellow lines down the side of them. On his side is his partner in crime, Nathan Jones. Jones is wearing short tight black trunks. Both men look angry/constipated and start to march towards the ring. Jones stays on the outside, while Morgan slides underneath the bottom rope and gets in the ring. Morgan charges at the Cat quickly to start the match.

Tazz: Matt Morgan is gonna try and make Da Cat wish he neva' eva' came to tha WWE.

Michael Cole: I know Tazz, but don't count Ernest Miller out yet, after all he is a Former Three Time Karate Champion.

Morgan runs up to Miller, and starts throwing punches. The Cat blocks each one of his punches and then kicks Morgan's leg out from underneath him. Morgan falls flat on his ass and is embarassed. Miller picks up Morgan to his knees and punches him in the side of the head. Miller than lifts Morgan up to his feet. Miller tries to whip Morgan into the ropes. Morgan reverses, and Miller bounces off the ropes. Morgan puts his foot up for a Big Boot, but Miller slides underneath him, and stands up behind Morgan. Morgan turns around and catches a thrust kick right to the chest. Morgan falls over again, as the Cat Whooo's to the crowd.

Tazz: I love this Cole, Tha Cat is staying close enough to Morgan so that he can hit him, but far enough away that Morgan can't hit back.

Michael Cole: He's hitting and running... sticking and moving.

The Cat lifts Morgan up to his feet, and starts hitting him with chops in the chest. Miller chops Morgan back against the ropes. Miller runs to the other side of the ring, and bounces off the ropes. He starts to run back at Morgan, but Jones pulls his leg from the outside, and trips up the Cat. The Cat stumbles forward just a little, and Morgan runs at him and absolutely decimates him with a vicious clothesline. Morgan pounces right on him with kicks to the stomach while the Cat is down.

Tazz: A little involvement from Big Nate Jones ova' there just broke Da Cat's concentration.

Michael Cole: And if that didn't do it, then that clothesline certainly did.

Morgan scoops up the Cat with ease and puts him on his shoulders. Morgan saunters around the ring with Miller over his shoulder before taking a running start and drilling Miller with a Running Powerslam showcasing his impressive power. Morgan, picks up Miller by his hair. Morgan wrenches Miller up over his head, and looks to hit his Spiral Powerbomb. But, Miller starts hitting Mongolian Chops to the neck of Morgan. One final Karate Chop from the Cat frees him. The Cat falls to his feet, and rolls up Morgan with a School Boy. One, two, Morgan kicks out, and gets to his feet at the same time that the Cat gets to his feet.

Tazz: It was almost curtains for Da Cat, but he did whatever that hiya, and waaaatah stuff is called to get out of it.

Michael Cole: It's called karate.

Cat charges at Morgan and gets booted right back down. Morgan picks up a groggy Miller, and then takes him right back down with a pendulum backbreaker. Morgan lifts up Miller and bounces him against the ropes. Morgan lets out a huge grunt as he slams Miller down with a Spinebuster. Morgan goes for the pin. One, Two, Miller barely kicks out. Morgan signals for the end, and then picks up Miller.

Michael Cole: Miller barely got his shoulder up, and he might wish he didn't if Miller can hit the Spiralbomb.

Tazz: That move is just devastatin' Cole. First he get's ya all dizzy with the spinning and then he knocks the wind outta ya with the slam. If anybody was conscious afta' that move, they'd be too dizzy to kick out!

Morgan tries to wrench Miller up into position for the Spiral Powerbomb again, but instead Miller keeps punching Morgan in the back of the leg to weaken him up. Then Miller gets back to a vertical base, and grabs Morgan's arm. Miller ducks under Morgan's arm, and goes to whip him. Morgan puts on the breaks, and turns around. He charges at Miller with a clothesline, but Miller ducks and catches Morgan's other arm. Miller spins Morgan around by his arm and fucking levels him with the Feliner. Miller covers. 1, 2, 3.

Tazz: He did it Cole, he almost knocked Morgan's head right off his shoulders with that kick. Morgan didn't stand a chance at kicking out of that one.

Winner: Ernest "The Cat" Miller

OR: 43

CR: 27

MQ: 69

1/2*

Match and Commentary Written by Essa

Michael Cole: Ernest Miller just proved that he means business, and that he'll do whatever it takes to make sure his team wins this Sunday at Survivor Series.

Tazz: But, wait, what the hell is this. He just hit him from behind!

After the match has ended, Nathan Jones gets into the ring with a steel chair in his hand. He goes immediately after Ernest "The Cat" Miller, and cracks him over the head with the chair, sending Miller sprawling to the floor. As Jones goes over to help Matt Morgan back to his feet, the distinctive sound of footsteps can be heard…

You've done it now

You've gone and made a big mistake

and I can't allow, you to think you can just walk away

so turn around, and face the piper you're gonna pay

'cause the end is now

this is gonna be your judgement day

The Undertaker comes down to the ring to a loud ovation from the fans, causing Jones and Morgan to stare down the ramp at the oncoming star. ‘Taker climbs into the ring, and is almost immediately attacked by Jones. However, the former-WWE Champion doesn’t have any problem shrugging the effects of the giant Australian off, and eventually blocks one of Jones’ right hands, and takes a huge clothesline that nearly knocks his head clean off his shoulders. Morgan then goes to attack the Deadman, but he also fairs badly. ‘Taker lifts his boot above his head, sending Morgan crashing into it, and then to the floor. The Undertaker then pauses briefly, before heading to the timekeeper area and demanding a microphone.

Taker: Vince McMahon…. This Survivor Series will be the day of reckoning, not only for you, but for myself. For a long time I’ve searched for something that was worthy of my business, and now I’ve decided that getting rid of you from my life, and all these people’s lives is my priority. You’re a bully, a manipulator, a life-wrecker, and I will make sure that I put an end to every little thing you do to screw people over.

Before Taker can continue, Jones gets back to his feet and charges towards him as fast as he can, but only succeeds in being grabbed by the throat, and Chokeslammed hard to the floor. With Jones out of the way, The Undertaker continues his speech.

Taker: I was there in 1997 Vince. I was there in Montreal, when you decided that your ego was too much for you to handle, and you would rather screw someone out of their livelihood then let the competition win. Well let me tell you this Vince, if you even think of trying to screw me over, if you do anything that to me would seem like you intend on defeating me unfairly, I will make it my life, and my death’s goal to finally avenge the people you have hurt!

The crowd cheer Taker's comments, but begin booing as Matt Morgan gets back to his feet. Like Jones, he charges towards Taker, but he suffers the same fate as his comrade, and is forcefully Chokeslammed to the mat.

Taker: You know, seeing these two big lumps of crap lying in the ring reminds me of something else. Paul Heyman, I know what you're doing, and I know who you're doing it for. But let me remind you of what I've said to you and proved to you before, and that is that no matter what or who you chuck at me to try and stop me, everything ends up failing. So let me tell you one more time, cut the handicap matches, cut the backstage assaults, cut the rest of that crap. And if you don't, then next time someone's lying on the floor hurt, it's going to be you.

The Undertaker reaches down and grabs Ernest Miller's hand. Undertaker pulls Miller up to his feet, and pats him on the back. The two unlikely allies then head to the back together, leaving Jones and Morgan in the ring, healing their wounds.

Michael Cole: Tazz, The Undertaker just came to the rescue of The Cat, and managed to return the Cat's favor from last week by destroying Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones.

Tazz: Cole, Taker is making it clear that he plans on beatin' McMahon with his hambones all night long, but ya know, after he just beat down Morgan and Jones, he certainly didn't make any friends.

Michael Cole: I don't know Tazz, but one thing is certain, The Undertaker will get a chance to "get revenge for everyone that's been screwed by Vince McMahon" at the Survivor Series on Sunday. We'll be right back.

OR: 82

Angle Written by Chris2k

Commentary Written by Essa

After a commercial break, we come back to the ring...

"The Next Big Thing" hits, and Brock Lesnar is welcomed to the stage by a chorus of boos from the fans, as well as his usual accompaniment of pyros. The WWE champion gets into the ring to even more boos, before starting to talk on the microphone left behind in the ring.

Lesnar: It seems to me....

Lesnar is interrupted by the crowd's booing.

Lesnar: It seems to me that a lot of you assholes out there don't like me, and don't like the methods that I take in order to win. But hey, you know what, I don't give a damn about any of you! You see this belt?

Lesnar points to his WWE Title belt.

Lesnar: This belt means that I am without doubt, the greatest SmackDown! competitor, now, in the past, and in the future!

The crowd boo Lesnar, but the WWE champion continues with his self-praising regardless.

Lesnar: Just look at the idiots around here who are trying to oppose what I'm doing. Kurt Angle? The little bald guy who would rather pledge his allegiance to the country than do some real training? Winning the belt off him was 60 of the easiest minutes of my life. Chris Benoit? The midget with a tooth missing who would rather wrestle a guy to the floor than break his back with a slam. Surely that says something about his... you know... "life choices"?

The crowd continue booing, and a "Lesnar sucks" chant breaks out on one side of the arena.

Lesnar: And there's the APA. The two self-proclaimed 'toughest guys in the WWE'. It seems kinda strange to me that they think that, becuase let's face it, both of them aren't exactly in the prime of their lives. And Bradshaw, man, you must've had a helluva lot of beer when you decided to get that hair done...

As if on cue, the APA music hits, and the crowd's boos turn to cheers as Bradshaw and Faarooq walk out with determined expressions on their faces. The two stop on the ramp for a few moments, before charging to the ring to confront the WWE Champion. Lesnar sees them coming, and immediately ducks out of the ring to avoid them. Lesnar starts heading up the ramp himself, still holding the mic in his hand.

Lesnar: Oh yeah, real fair, you two on me. I'm not stupid guys, and I'm not gonna fall into your trap. Oh, and talking of traps....

Tazz: Something smells funny here Cole, and it's not your motha's crotch this time.

Brock continues walking back, as Bradshaw and Faarooq both look at him confused. Suddenly, Big Show and A-Train attack the two studs from behind, having got into the ring via the crowd. The crowd boo as the two giant men beat down the beer-drinkers, pounding them to within an inch of their lives, before Big Show finishes Bradshaw off with a trademark huge Chokeslam, and A-Train hits the Train Wreck on Faarooq. A-Train and Show join Lesnar walking back up the ramp, as the APA lie in the ring hurt after the brutal assault.

OR: 57

Brock loses overness.

Angle written by Chris2K.

Comment about Cole's mothers cooch written by Essa.

Tazz: Team Lesnah just evened up the score goin' into Suhviva Series.

Michael Cole: What the heck are you talking about?

Tazz: I'm talkin' about Team Lesnah takin' out Tha APA. Team Angle took out Morgan and Jones, and now the sides are still even after that last attack.

Michael Cole: That is still no excuse for that heinous beatdown. But speaking of heinous beatdowns, up next is Mark Henry, Smackdown's new reacquisition, taking on a talented cruiserweight, Paul London.

MARK HENRY VS PAUL LONDON

Some generic rap music starts up, and the crowd don't react very much. In fact they don't react much when they see that Mark Henry is on his way to the ring for the upcoming match. His opponent, Paul London, doesn't even have the privelage of getting a televised entrance, but does actually get a brief pop by the RoH friendly crowd when he is announced by Tony Chimel.

The size and power difference between the two combatents is immediately exposed when they lock up, with Henry forcing London down to one knee, and elbowing the young Cruiserweight on the shoulder to knock him fully down to the floor.

Michael Cole: I would not like to be in Paul London's shoes right now.

Tazz: I don't think Paul London wants to be in Paul London's shoes right now.

The 'World's Strongest Man' continues with his assault, dropping a knee to the ribs of the youngster, obviously without going to the mat, as he probably wouldn't be able to get up again. Henry then picks London up, and delivers one of his trademark Powerslams. Henry covers, but London shows great resiliance to kick out at two.

Michael Cole: Paul London barely managed to kick out there.

Tazz: Paul London should just play dead.

Henry uses London's longish hair to get him back to his feet, and whips London into one of the turnbuckles. Henry tries to follow up with an avalanche in the corner, but his slow speed means that London is able to get out of the way in time. London tries to stun the big man with some right hands, but Henry is able to easily shrug them off without much of a worry, and then delivers a huge clothesline that sends London spiralling to mat.

Michael Cole: Come on Paul, you almost had him there... for a second at least.

Tazz: He didn't have nothin' Cole. A couple of right hands to a man his size won't do nothin'.

The crowd don't seem to be getting into the match at all, but Henry continues his assualt with some more right hands that knock London down. Henry then bounces off the ropes to nail the Big Splash, sending all 300+ pounds of his body crashing down onto London's. Henry covers again, and would certainly have got a three count if he hadn't pulled London up at two, which generates a small bit of heat.

Michael Cole: Enough is enough Mark, just end it already.

Tazz: He's just toyin' with him Cole. He knows that London isn't even in his league.

Henry picks London up to his feet, and delivers the World's Strongest Slam to the already defeated London. Henry covers him once again, and this time the three count is delivered. Henry mockingly wipes a bit of sweat from his forehead after the match, and flicks it down at his defeated opponent.

Michael Cole: Finally it's over. Mark Henry finally just finished off the talented Cruiserweight, Paul London.

Tazz: He didn't look very talented tonight Cole.

Michael Cole: Oh believe me Cole, he can really tear the house down if he's wrestling a cruiserweight.

Tazz: I'll take your word for it Cole. But now we've gotta go to a commercial break while someone scrapes him up off the ground.

OR: 59

CR: 61

MQ: 72

1/2 *

Match Written by Chris2k.

Commentary written by Essa.

LOS GUERREROS VS THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM

Michael Cole: We're back, and we're just in time to see Los Guerreros wrestle The World's Greatest Tag Team.

Tazz: No doubt Cole, it's gonna be a rocketbusta. Tha Guerreros really need to win this one to get their Tag Title shot at Suhviva Series, and Chahly and Shelton are trying to be their spoilers here.

'We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal' is heard on the PA System as one of the hottest tag teams, Los Guerreros, in the WWE make their way out here to fight for Number One Contendership to the Tag Team Titles at Survivor Series. The crowd is cheering massively for Eddie and Chavo, but mainly Eddie. They get in the ring and stand up on adjacent turnbuckles. Both men make motions around the waist saying that they want the tag team titles from the Basham Brothers.

The World's Greatest Theme Music is heard next, and out come Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The crowd boo's them mildly, but not too badly because they know they are in for a good match. Charlie and Shelton play to the crowd well here with their posing, and mimicking of the Guerrero's. Charlie struts a little like Eddie, and then sneakily steals a "Viva Los Guerreros" sign from an old mexican lady. Charlie then rips up the sign. Shelton gets to the bottom of the aisle and points at Chavo and gives him a "You're in for an assbeating" look. Chavo gives him the same look in return.

Chavo and Shelton are going to start the match. They lock up in a grapple and Shelton uses strength to gain the advantage in the early seconds of the match by wrapping Chavo up in a tightly gripped headlock, looking to drive the blood from the brain of Chavo. Shelton keeps adding more pressure to the head by squeezing his grip, Chavo, however, is still fresh. Chavo manages to break the hold and force Shelton into the ropes. Shelton bounces off the ropes and is leap frogged by Chavo on the way back. Shelton comes back again off of the ropes, and this time Chavo drops down in between Shelton's legs. Shelton bounces off the ropes one more time, and this time he gets with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker by Chavo. Chavo makes the cover. 1, 2, kickout.

Michael Cole: Chavo and Shelton were going back and forth for the opening seconds until Chavo planted Shelton with that Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker.

Tazz: Ya, but Shelton is still too fresh to go down for the count so early.

Shelton manages to lift up his shoulders and kick out of the pinfall attempt early on. Chavo gets up, and waits for Shelton to get to his feet. Shelton sees Chavo ready to pounce on him, and slides out of the ring to catch a breather. The crowd boos Shelton for wasting time. Charlie drops down off of the apron and the two men huddle. The referee is at 8 of a 10 count, to see if Shelton gets counted out. Shelton hesitantly steps back into the ring.

Michael Cole: This isn't the NFL, no huddling allowed!

Tazz: Shut up Cole, their taking a second to regroup.

They lock up again, but Shelton gains the upperhand one more time by hitting a well placed knee to the abdomen. Chavo bends down grabbing his chest, and gets driven to the mat with a quick DDT. Shelton stays on the offensive by laying boots into the chest and sternum of Chavo Guerrero. The fans start to chant for Chavo, but this just infuriates Shelton even more, causing more kicking to the wounded Chavo. Shelton screams "Screw You" to the fans and then drops an elbow to the midsection of Chavo. Shelton drags Chavo to his corner and tags in Charlie to keep the fresh man in the ring.

Michael Cole: Shelton Benjamin makes the tag into Charlie Haas.

Tazz: This is good thinking on Chahly's part. Their keeping the fresh man in the ring, and the more level headed man in the ring. I know from experience, that if you lose your temper too quick, you also lose the match.

Charlie helps Chavo up to his feet before connecting with a stiff right hand that echos throughout the entire arena. Charlie then connects with two more shots that aren't nearly as stiff as the first. Charlie whips Chavo into a neutral corner. Charlie charges into the corner and hits a shoulder right to the abdomen of Chavo. Charlie lifts up Chavo, and hooks him up on the top turnbuckle. Charlie follows Chavo up to the top turnbuckle, and then hooks him up for a superplex. Charlie lifts up Chavo, and connects with the Superplex!!! Both men are down for a few seconds, before Charlie readjusts himself and does a Bridge into a pin. 1, 2, Eddie comes in and breaks up the hold.

Michael Cole: Eddie barely got in the ring in time to break up that pinfall attempt.

Tazz: What do ya mean Coleslaw? You're not gonna admonish them for cheatin'? You like these guys even though they Lie, Cheat, and Steal?

Michael Cole: I think that if Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas are going to cheat, so should the Guerreros.

Charlie lifts Chavo up to his feet. Charlie grabs Chavo around the neck and then flips him over with a Snapmare. Charlie then gets up and gets behind the dazed, sitting Chavo. Charlie then rushes forward and hits Chavo with a flipping neckwhip ala Mr. Perfect. After a little more showboating, Charlie makes another cover on Chavo. 1, 2, another kickout. Charlie is mad that he can't seem to put Chavo away and prevent the Guerrero's from becoming champs, so he tags in Shelton. Chavo makes a mad dash for his corner, but he is quickly clotheslined from behind to take him right back down. Shelton then walks over to Eddie's corner. Shelton taunts Eddie and then slaps him in the face. Eddie tries to enter the ring, but the ref stops him and has to restrain him.

Michael Cole: Come on ref, let him in there.

Tazz: The World's Greatest Tag Team are using their brainpower here to piss off Eddie Guerrero to tha point where he tries to get involved illegally. Eddie's really just settin' up his nephew Chavo for a beatdown Red Hook style.

But what the ref doesn't see is Charlie choking the life out of Chavo, while Shelton stomps on him. Shelton then kicks Chavo right in the chest, before driving him up to his feet. Shelton then shoves Chavo right into Charlie's arms. Charlie holds Chavo's arms behind him, leaving him wide open for Shelton. Shelton takes a step back before lunging forward with a Super Kick. Chavo ducked out of the way leaving Charlie to get drilled right in the fucking face with the kick. Shelton drops down to check on Charlie, while Chavo hobbles to his corner and makes the hot tag in to Eddie Guerrero.

Michael Cole: Eddie's now in, he's the legal man!

Tazz: Tha World's Greatest Tag Team need to recova' quick.

Eddie runs in the ring, and dropkicks Shelton right in the back of his head as he was kneeling down. Eddie then grabs Charlie by his legs and hotshots him into the corner. Charlie hits the corner, and then turns around clumsily. Eddie charges at him and hits him with a Monkey Flip. Eddie stands up after the Monkey Flip, and Shelton tries to kick him in the gut. Eddie grabs Shelton's foot and spins him around. Shelton looks to hit the Dragon Whip, but Eddie has that scouted and ducks it. Shelton lands on his feet with Eddie behind him. Eddie drills Shelton with a German Suplex. This could be it. Eddie covers Shelton. 1, 2, kickout. Charlie is up and he charges at Eddie. Eddie boots Charlie in the gut, as Chavo gets back up and runs over to Eddie. Eddie and Chavo lift up Charlie and hit him with a Double Team Brainbuster~!

Michael Cole: A Double Team Brainbuster! That could have broken his neck.

Tazz: The World's Greatest Tag Team made the rookie mistake of letting a fresh man in the ring while they were tired, and what happened? Eddie's on fire, and they just got burned.

Eddie gets up and looks for Shelton so that he could finish him off. He can't find Shelton until Shelton catches him with his Flying Inverted Bulldog. Shelton gets up to his feet quickly, and Chavo charges at him. Shelton ducks a clothesline, and when Chavo turns around, Shelton T-Bone Suplexes Chavo. Charlie gets up a bit groggily, and locks Chavo in the Haas of Pain. Charlie cinches in the hold while Chavo writhes in pain. Chavo has a look of anguish on his face, as Charlie pulls back on his neck. Shelton starts putting the boots to Chavo's already weakened abdomen, while Charlie keeps the hold locked on. Chavo starts tapping out. Charlie and Shelton get up thinking that they've won, but Chavo isn't the legal man. From behind, Eddie dropkicks Charlie into Shelton. Shelton stumbles forward and falls out of the ring. Charlie turns around and Eddie hits him with his series of three suplexes. Eddie then gets up and scales the top rope. Eddie is going for his Frog Splash~! But nooo from behind Doug Basham hits Eddie in the back with the Tag Team Title belt. Eddie falls to the mat on the concrete floor outside in a heap. Danny Basham gets in the ring, and levels Chavo with the other tag team belt. Doug gets into the ring and helps Charlie to his feet. Doug raises Charlies hand in victory, before turning on Charlie and hitting him with his leaping leg lariat. The Bashams pose with their Tag Titles before leaving the ringside area after this Double Disqualification.

Michael Cole: God damnit, that was a great match up until the Basham's had to get involved. Eddie and Chavo had the match won.

Tazz: Hold on Cole, I just heard through my headset, walkie talkie, headphones, cellphone, whatever the hell this thing in my ear is, that at Suhviva Series, Paul Heyman has ordered this match to be a Triple Threat Tag Team Match. The Basham Brothers will defend their titles against Los Guerrero's and The World's Greatest Tag Team.

Michael Cole: That's wonderful news. These three teams will finally settle the score at Survivor series.

OR: 78

CR: 82

MQ: 93

Eddie Guerrero debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. Shelton Benjamin gained overness from this match. Charlie Haas gained overness from this match.

****

Match and commentary written by Essa.

Michael Cole: We'll be right back.

The camera turns Backstage and we see Paul Heyman in his office, talking on a phone.

Heyman: Vince, I'm sorr... Mr. McMahon, yes, anyway, I'm sorry but I haven't been able to change the Buried Alive match... well I know I was supposed to, but I can't find a way out of it... well because you said that he could have any match he wanted, that's tied you to a contract that can't be altered... no, it CAN'T be altered, believe me, I've had every legal representative I know look into it... well I'll see what I can do anyway... OK, call me back when you get this message, ok?

Suddenly, Brock Lesnar walks in to the office with a huge smile on his face.

Lesnar: Haha, Paul, did you just see that? Those APA idiots think they're so big and macho, but put them in a situation when they have to be CLEVER, and they don't stand a chance!

Heyman: You know what Brock? I didn't see that. In fact, I've hardly seen anything on this show so far, because I am trying my damn hardest to find a loophole for this Buried Alive match, and it's gonna be my ass that's on the line if I can't find one!

Lesnar: Relax Paul, everything's under control...

Heyman: Under control? UNDER CONTROL?! How the hell is everything under control?! At Survivor Series, Vince McMahon, my boss, is going to take on The Undertaker, not just any guy, but The UNDERTAKER in a Buried Alive match. Do you know what's gonna happen if he loses? I'M gonna get fired. That's right. 'Cos whoever takes over from him won't want me within a yard of this company thanks to what I did in the past. Vince, he can forgive me, but anyone else won't.

Lesnar: Well at least the 5 vs. 5 match at Survivor Series is gonna go well, those punks don't stand a chance against us...

Heyman: Oh yeah, well have you seen behind me yet?

The camera pans around to see Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones nursing their injuries after their failure to defeat Ernest Miller and The Undertaker earlier in the evening. Jones is holding an ice pack to the back of his head, and Morgan is taping up his ribs following his Chokeslam.

Lesnar: Never mind about that. What matters is that we have the back-up where we need it...

As if on cue, The Big Show, A-Train and John Cena walk in behind the WWE Champion, and stand behind him. Heyman looks at them, and for a brief time, a smile comes to his face. However it is not long before he is frantically trying the phone again, leaving the huge men standing there to wait for him...

Michael Cole: It looks like Paul Heyman is about to log on to hotjobs.com because after Suhviva Series, he might be out of a job.

Tazz: Undastood Cole, Tha Undataka' is gonna chew Vince up and spit him out like Tobacco.

Michael Cole: Paul Heyman certainly hopes not. It seems like the only bright spot for Heyman is his team for Survivor Series. It's hard for anyone to beat Brock Lesnar, the Big Show and John Cena... nevermind all at the same time.

Blackout by (hed) PE starts to play for the television audience.

Tazz: No doubt Cole, but what's going to make Suhviva Series even betta' is my boys (hed) PE's new CD named Blackout is the soundtrack for Suhviva Series. You eva hear these guys Cole?

Michael Cole: Why yes Tazz, I'm a big fan.

Tazz: Stuff it Cole, you're lyin'. These guys aint no sissy Backstreet Boys, these guys are HAHDCORE Cole.

Michael Cole: Oh... Well yeah. Wait it looks like Mark Henry is backstage and has something to say.

OR: 86

Written by Chris2k

Commentary written by Essa

Mark Henry: Well well well... Look who fiuhlly bah on Smadown. Da World Stronges Mah is back an he got a few thang on his mine. One little suthing is da Unnispute Title dats aroun Broh Lesnas waist. Broh, it aint nuttin personal daw but I wan da Gole n I do whateva it take to get it. N dats asackly what I'ma do. I'ma do whuh it take, and dats goin from da groun up to da top. I start it it tonight wit Paw Lunnon, and I'ma keep ih goin Sataday on Velociy wit Finaka. Then I'ma work my way up ta you Broh, n tayk yo ass out n tayk hom whuz rifully mine, da Unisput Title. An alon da way, dere's one man I lookin forwad to beatin. Ryo you mess wit da wron man lazz week when you knock me to the groun witcho Goe. I wasuh gonna win dat USA Title from Da Show til you snek atack me. But rememer one thang Ryo, I will get some reeenge fo whatchu dih. An expec it ta be mo soona dan later cuz yall aint much betta than Paw Lunnon. I comin fo ya, I comin.

What Mark Henry was meant to say.

Mark Henry: Well, well, well... Look who is finally back on Smackdown. The World's Strongest Man is back and he's got a few things on his mind. One little thing is the Undisputed Title that is around the waist of Brock Lesnar. Brock, I don't have anything personal against you dawg, but I want the gold and I will do whatever it takes to get it. And that is exactly what I'm going to do. I am going to do whatever it takes to get in a position to win your title, and the only way to do that is by going from the bottom all the way up to the top of the pecking order. I started my quest tonight with Paul London, and it is going to keep on going on Velocity this Saturday when I beat Funaki, and get one step closer. Then I'm going to work my way up to you Brock, and take from you what is rightfully mine... the Undisputed Title. And along the way, there is one man that I am looking forward to beating. That man is Rhyno. Rhyno, last week you messed with the wrong man when you Gored me into that Concrete Wall. I had a shot at the United States Heavyweight Title, but you cost me my shot at the title when you sneak attacked me from behind. But just remember one thing Rhyno, I will get my revenge on you for what you did. It might not happen now, it might not happen tommorow... But Rhyno, it will happen. And, Rhyno it will happen much more sooner than later, because I know you aren't much better than this punk Paul London. I'm coming for you Rhyno, I'm coming.

Michael Cole: Well the ever eloquent Mark Henry just said he is ready to run the Smackdown gauntlet, to get back on top, and that it started tonight and will continue Saturday with Funaki.

Tazz: I think he also said that he wants a match with Rhyno AND the Undisputed Title. Either that or that he wanted to go home right now and watch reruns of The Honeymooners. I guess we'll neva' know.

Michael Cole: Perhaps that was it. But after this commercial break we'll be right back with tonight's main event. John Cena and the Big Show will wrestle Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit!

OR: 64

Henry loses overness.

Segment and Commentary written by Essa.

Michael Cole: We're back and it's time for our main event.

Tazz: It's gonna be a real rocketbusta, a donny brook, a piersixer.

John Cena & The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit

“Weeelll, well it’s the Big Show……” blares out from the speakers and the largest athlete in the world, the 7’2, 500lb Big Show makes his way through the curtain onto the Smackdown stage. The big man looks out at the crowd before starting his slow, methodical walk to the ring. Show stops to yell at a fan who has the audacity to touch his arm before entering the ring over the top rope. Show looks around before raising his right arm into the air in his usual Chokeslam taunt.

Michael Cole: The largest athlete in the world today, 7’2, 500lbs, the Big Show is without a doubt the most dominant man in sports entertainment today.

Tazz: No doubt, no doubt Cole. The Big Show, 7 foot 2, 500 pounds of power, and with the Doctor of Thuganomics backin’ him up, it’s gonna be hard for Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit in this match.

Michael Cole: And speaking of the Doctor of Thuganomics, here he comes now….

“So, you think you’re untouchable?” comes over the arena PA system as the crowd rises to their feet. John Cena comes out to a mixed reaction with some booing and some cheering. Cena flashes his “Word Life” sign to the crowd before strutting his way to the ring. Cena slides under the bottom rope and flashes the “Word Life” sign again before getting in the face of the Big Show. The two exchange words before Cena is handed a microphone by a waiting technician.

John Cena: Yo, yo, yo, yo!

We gonna do this…..

Before Cena can go any further with his rap, he is interrupted by the now familiar music of Chris Benoit. The Rabid Wolverine walks from the back with his usual determined look on his face. Benoit ignores the fans as he heads to the ring, stopping at the bottom of the rampway. In the ring, Cena has removed his jersey and chain and is ready for action.

Michael Cole: Chris Benoit has heard enough already!

Tazz: I can’t believe Chris Benoit disrespecting John Cena like that!

The blare of trumpets signals the arrival of Kurt Angle. Angle comes out with his gold medals around his neck and raises his arms, staring to the heavens, bringing forth his pyro from the sides of the ramp. Angle waits for the last pyro to settle before beginning his walk to the ring again. He and Benoit share a glance before Angle removes his medals and drops them to the floor and he and Benoit slide into the ring! This match is on!

Michael Cole: And we’re ready to go here!

Benoit and Angle get to their feet amid a fury of punches to the back from both Cena and Big Show. Angle goes with Show over to one corner as Cena and Benoit exchange right hands. Cena backs Benoit to another corner but Benoit turns it over and Cena is in the corner. Benoit unloads with some hard knife-edge chops as on the other side of the ring Angle is connecting with some hard rights to the face of Show. Benoit pulls Cena out the corner, ducks a right hand from the Dr. of Thuganomics and a clothesline sends John Cena over the top to the floor. Over in the other corner The Big Show grabs Angle by the throat but Benoit grabs the arm of Show looking for the Crossface, but Show brushes Benoit off with a push and a head-butt to Angle as the referee tries to restore order. Kurt Angle comes back at Show with some punches and looks for a go-behind takedown but is crushed back into the corner by Show! Here comes Benoit again and Benoit unloads with some devastating chops to the chest of Show and Benoit whips Show to the far turnbuckle. Benoit charges in, looking for a clothesline but Show catches him round the throat. Show steps out of the corner with Benoit in a vice-grip. Angle charges but is floored with a big boot, but this allows Benoit to wriggle free. Angle rolls from the ring and Cena is stopped from entering again by the referee and finally the bell is rung to begin this match. It’ll be the Big Show and Chris Benoit to start us off here.

Show and Benoit lock up and Show easily forces the much lighter Benoit back into the corner. Show brings his massive hand down in a huge chop across the chest of Benoit! And a second time, and a third time. Benoit drops to the canvas and Show drives his massive foot into the throat of Benoit. The referee begins a five count, ONE…………TWO………THREE……..FOUR…Show lets go at four. Show pulls Benoit to his feet and gives the Rabid Wolverine a big old fashioned Beale Toss across the ring. Benoit pulls himself up in the corner and Show charges in with a big avalanche into the corner. Benoit stumbles out of the corner into a sidewalk slam from The Big Show.

Tazz: With most guys that’s a two or three feet drop, with Show it’s a five or six foot drop to the mat!

Show makes the cover. ONE…….TW-Benoit kicks out at two. Show looks for an elbow drop but Benoit rolls out the way and both men get to their feet. Show grabs Benoit but Benoit scoots round the back and looks for a German Suplex, but it is blocked by Show’s massive girth. Benoit pounds away at the back of the Big Show but Show backs into the corner crushing Benoit! Show scoops up Benoit and a slam to the canvas and Show tags in Cena. Show holds Benoit’s arm out fully extended and Cena delivers a kick to the mid-section and a bodyslam to the Rabid Wolverine. Cena makes the cover. ONE…….TWO...Benoit kicks out. Cena drops an Austin style elbow to the forehead of Benoit and makes another cover. ONE…….TWO…Benoit kicks out again. Cena pulls Benoit up by the neck and looks for a piledriver. Benoit fights it and Benoit with a back-body drop and over goes Cena and Benoit drops to the mat as well! Benoit looks to his corner where a fired up Kurt Angle is waiting and Benoit begins a crawl to the corner, but Cena is close to his corner and makes the tag to the Big Show. Show enters the ring and drops a big elbow across the back of the neck of Benoit, halting his progress. Show pulls Benoit up and locks in a Dragon Sleeper, cranking back on the neck of Benoit.

Michael Cole: Benoit’s got a surgically repaired neck and the Big Show is going right after it!

Tazz: No doubt Cole, that neck is Benoit’s weakness and Show’s going right for it.

Benoit tries to reach up and slap the Big Show but he is just too big. On the apron Kurt Angle starts to stamp his foot on the apron to get the crowd behind his partner and the crowd respond by clapping along to the beat laid down by Angle. This seems to stir Benoit who tries to find a way out of his current predicament. Benoit delivers some mild punches to the left arm of Show and manages to turn 180̊ so he is now in a front face-lock, but all he gets for his troubles is a vertical suplex. Show makes a cover. ONE………TWO…..THR-Angle breaks up the count! Show gets up and nails a boot to the face of Angle as he’s heading through the ropes and Angle cracks his head off the ring steps and drops to the floor. Benoit comes from behind with a chop-block out of desperation to the right knee of Show. Benoit starts to kick away at the knee of Show. Benoit lifts the knee up and drives it down to the canvas. Show writhes in pain as Benoit shouts at Angle to get back up, but Angle is down hurt on the outside after crashing into the ring steps. Benoit pulls Show to the centre of the ring and pulls the big man to his feet. Benoit looks for the Irish Whip but it is reversed. Benoit ducks one clothesline and hits the ropes again. On the opposite side Angle has finally pulled himself back to the apron and Benoit and Angle collide and Angle goes flying into the guardrail. Benoit turns and gets caught with a hand around the throat.

Tazz: He’s goin’ for the goozle!

Show brings Benoit up and down with the Chokeslam! The Big Show poses for a few seconds and Cena makes the blind tag! Show is furious and the two face off, trading insults. Show and Cena are face to face here and Cena pushes Show! Cena ducks a punch from Show and dives for the cover on Benoit. ONE…….TWO……TH-Angle breaks up the three count with an elbow drop to the back of Cena’s head! Show looks for a boot to the face of Angle but it’s caught and Angle takes out the left leg of Show and he hits the canvas. Angle with the Ankle Lock to Show! Ankle Lock to Show! Angle keeps the hold on while pulling down the straps of his singlet. Cena connects with a kick to the stomach and Cena looks for the F-U but Angle slips down the back. Cena charges with a clothesline, ducked by Angle and Cena keeps going. Benoit avoids the charging Cena and Cena hits the ropes chest first. The Doctor of Thuganomics bounces back out into the Rolling Germans from Benoit! Benoit plants Cena with the third German and cuts his throat with his hand. Benoit ascends to the top rope but Show is there and grabs Benoit round the throat! Show looks for a Chokeslam off the top but Benoit counters it and lands on his feet, looking for the Crossface. Show pushes Benoit who turns into a vertical John Cena.

Cena looks for the F-U, but Benoit drops down and counters into the Crossface! Benoit has the Crossface locked in! Here comes Show to break it up, but Angle is there with a kick to the stomach. Show swings at Angle, but misses, Angle Slam on the Big Show! Kurt Angle nails the Angle Slam on the Big Show and Angle locks in the Ankle Lock on the Big Show! Benoit and Angle both have their finishing submission holds locked in! But here comes Brock Lesnar down the aisle. Angle lets go of the Ankle Lock first and shouts to Benoit who looks up to see Lesnar in the aisle. Angle and Benoit shout at Lesnar from the ropes and Angle comes through the ropes to confront Lesnar in the aisle. The referee jumps from the ring to prevent Lesnar from getting involved in the match. Benoit and Angle are at the ropes pointing at Lesnar telling him to leave. Wait a minute! From the crowd! It’s A-Train! A-Train spins around an unaware Kurt Angle, a kick to the bread-basket and a Baldo Bomb! Baldo Bomb! A-Train slides from the ring as Cena drapes an arm over Kurt Angle. The referee spots this and races to the ring. The referee slides into the ring and counts. ONE……….. Benoit sees the pin attempt……TWO….. the Big Show is back up and nails a big boot to the head of Benoit………THREE! Benoit crashes to the mat as the referee raises the arm of John Cena.

Michael Cole: That’s not right! Chris Benoit fought with all his heart and he and Kurt Angle had this match won!

Tazz: That was a rocket-bustah Cole, what a match that was! But in the end, the odds deficit played a major part!

Michael Cole: Well it just wasn’t right! It wasn’t fair!

Tazz: It wasn’t fair but nothing in life is fair Shoelace! Tonight The Big Show and John Cena had better back-up!r

Michael Cole: Well it just wasn’t right, and I hope our General Manager was watching this, and that they are appalled as I am about this travesty!

Tazz: Gimme a break Cole, it was probably Heyman's idea. That's all the time we have for tonight folks but make sure ya orda' Suhviva Series this Sunday night. Me and Coleslaw will see ya there!

OR: 78

CR: 89

MQ: 84

MATCH AND COMMENTARY WRITTEN BY ADGRAY

Show quality: 67

I apologize for the dropoff in quality from me in this show. But for the past week or so I've had problems with Wordpad, where Wordpad just kept freezing as I saved the stuff. It took me three times writing up my segments to realize that I'd be better off using WordPerfect. Thanks for reading.

Edited by Essa
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I've been enjoying this diary so far. RAW was a great show, although it was a bit long for my liking (the matches, mainly). However, that was a really good show that immediately got me interested. Smackdown! was an okay event. There wasn't exactly anything particularly bad about it, I just enjoyed RAW more. Can't wait to see Survivor Series, and how you go about with that.

Oh, and I agree with giving Maven & Gang characters. Should be interesting to see how you continue to handle them.

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WWE RELEASES TALENTED CRUISERWEIGHT

Effective immediately, Brian "Spanky" Kendrick and the WWE have mutually agreed to release Kendrick from his contract. The very talented Kendrick has now agreed to wrestle for Pro Wrestling World-1, as well as Zero-One in Japan. Kendrick was allegedly unhappy with the way he was being used in the WWE, having gone from wrestling Kurt Angle and John Cena to being squashed on Velocity. Kendrick felt that his talents would be better appreciated elsewhere, and the WWE didn't have any immediate plans for Kendrick so the two parties mutually agreed to his release.

WWE MAKES A DEAL WITH NWACWF

The WWE has struck a deal with NWA Canada that will allow the WWE to use Darrien Kharisma, Dillon Robson, Kenny Omega, Killer Cox, Matt Fairlane, Rex Roberts, Spyder, The Machine and Zack Mercury until the end of November. These men will most likely be used only in dark matches or in the B-Show tapings. In return for the talent, NWA Canada is receiving an undisclosed amount of money. If these men impress the WWE officials, it is likely that they will receive a developmental contract offer at the end of the month. As of now, the only men really being considered for the contracts are Spyder, Kenny Omega, and Darrien Kharisma. Spyder has proved that he can wrestle a good match last week in a dark match before Raw where he wrestled Lance Storm in a good match. Kenny Omega and Darrien Kharisma haven't had their chance to show their skill yet, but they will in the upcoming weeks and these talented cruiserweights just might make a name for themselves.

Edited by Essa
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Just to let you all know, since EWB3 reopened I edited the original backstory, as well as the first Raw and Smackdown into the first two posts. Sorry to bump, but I just figured I'd let you all know anyway.

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WWE VELOCITY

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15 2003

LIVE FROM THE CONTINENTAL AIRLINES ARENA, EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY

Josh Mathews: We are live at the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford New Jersey just one night before Survivor Series. I'm Josh Mathews.

Bill DeMott: And I'm Bill DeMott. And we're just a mere twenty four hours away from one of the biggest pay per views of the year. Just look at the matches on the card kid, it's like a 'whose who of wrestling.'

Josh Mathews: There's no question about that Bill. On the Smackdown side, we have Tajiri defending his Cruiserweight Title against three men at once, when he wrestles Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble and Rey Mysterio in an Ultimate Survival Match. One of these men will outlast all three of his opponents and walk out of Survivor Series with the Cruiserweight Title.

Bill DeMott: And we also have The Bashams, Danny and Doug putting their Tag Team Titles on the line against two talented tag teams. One team is Los Guerreros, with Eddie Guerrero and his nephew Chavo, and the other team is, well, the World's Greatest Tag Team.

Josh Mathews: Then there is the much anticipated Buried Alive Match between The Undertaker and Vince McMahon. There isn't really much to say here, except It really must sick to be Vince McMahon.

Bill DeMott: It must suck to be anybody that crosses paths with The Undertaker. Smackdown's Survivor Series Main Event will be a Traditional Survivor Series 5 vs 5 Elimination Match. On one side we have Team Angle, with Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, The APA and Ernest 'The Cat' Miller. Then on the other side, on Team Heyman, it is Brock Lesnar, The Big Show, John Cena, Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan with the dangerous A-Train lurking around ringside. That one will be worth the price of admission.

Josh Mathews: Plus you'll get everything from the Raw side of things. Including the World Heavyweight Title match between Goldberg and Triple H, the War Games Match with Team Austin vs Team Bischoff, Kane vs Shane McMahon in an Ambulance Match, Lita vs Molly Holly for the Women's Title in a No Disqualification Match, and Shawn Michaels, Maven, Jindrak & Cade vs Evolution & Christopher Nowinski.

Bill DeMott: What a show that will be.

FUNAKI VS MARK HENRY

They are cut off by the opening chords of "Waiting to Die" by (Hed) P.E. play, followed by the opening lines...

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN

I'M A HIT MAN

I'M A STALKER

I'M A SOLDIER

I'M A STREET WALKER"

It sounds a little weird with Damn replacing Fuck, but this is network television. We can rape mannequins, but there is no way we could say fuck. Oh, yeah, so Mark Henry walks out to this new theme music. It fits him well enough I suppose, unlike his ring attire which seems to be for someone the size of Rey Mysterio. Anyway, he gets a good amount of heel heat. Mark Henry walks out wearing his tight blue body suit thing, with World's Strongest Man on the back in White. Henry lifts his arms into the air and then slams them back down to his side. Henry finally makes his way down the ramp. He gets up the stairs, and steps between the top and middle ropes. Henry gets in the ring and incomprehensibly talks smack with the crowd.

Then that funky ass Oriental music played, and out came the evil one... Funaki. Funaki was wearing his blue tee shirt with the sleeves cut off, with the japanese sun thing on the front, with EVIL on it and white. He had on blue shorts with white stripes down the leg. The fans give him a mercy pop, even though they basically know the end result already. Funaki points at Henry, shakes his head in a condescing sort of way, and then charges the ring.

Josh Mathews: Henry has made his intentions clear that he wants to make his way to the top of the pecking order for the Undisputed Title, and he has no problems working his way up from the bottom to do it. Tonight, he hopes to beat Funaki to get one rung higher on that ladder.

Bill DeMott: I don't see the point. If he wants a title match, he should walk up to Brock Lesnar and slap him in the face. I'm sure that'll get him in a fight with the champ. But I don't see how fighting Funaki will get him a title shot.

Funaki slides underneath the bottom rope, and Henry stomps on Funaki's back a few times before he can even get to his feet. Whatever momentum Funaki had going for him when he charged the ring just got neutralized already. Henry lifts Funaki up to his feet by his hair, before backing him up against the ropes. Henry hooks Funaki's arms over the top rope and then starts to slap Funaki in the chest. Henry slaps Funaki in the chest a few times, which turns Funaki's chest from a tannish color into a red color. Henry then stops the slapping, grabs Funaki's arm and whips him into the ropes. Funaki bounces off of the ropes, and runs right into Mark Henry.

Bill DeMott: That's like running into a brick wall kid... Mark Henry is one big piece of muscle, and he just didn't budge.

Josh Mathews: Funaki is in trouble here Bill. He needs to change his gameplan quick.

Henry didn't budge an inch, but Funaki went down hard. Henry then went for a quick elbow drop to the sternum of Funaki, but luckily Funaki rolled out of the way. Henry got up slowly, not because he's hurt but because he's Mark Henry. He got up to both knees, when Funaki just blasted him in the face with a dropkick.

Bill DeMott: If Funaki wants to stand any chance of winning this match, this is exactly what he needs to keep doing. If he keeps catching Henry off guard, he might be able to get him with a quick pin.

Josh Mathews: Funaki just kicked him right between the eyes, that could have knocked him out.

Bill DeMott: A normal person, maybe, but not Mark Henry. I bet that guy even has enough muscles between his eyes to have blocked any impact from that kick.

Henry fell flat on his back. Funaki started to pick up a little steam. With a little (a lot) of help from Henry, Funaki managed to get Henry up to his feet. After a kick to the stomach, Henry was hunched over. Funaki ran against the ropes and then hit Mark Henry right in the side of the fucking face with a dropkick. He evidently hit some of Henry's face fat because that shit echoed. Henry didn't fall over, but instead he stumbled back, hit the ropes and then bounced right back up into the same position.

Josh Mathews: What about that one Bill?

Bill DeMott: Check his boots ref. If it echoed that loud he must have lead in his boots.

Funaki got up and approached Henry. Funaki grabbed him and went for a Swinging Neckbreaker, but Henry pushed him off and into the ropes. Funaki bounced back on the rebound and got drilled with a monster Powerslam from Mark Henry. Henry covered Funaki. One, Two, THR... Henry lifted Funaki's head up off the mat to break the count.

Bill DeMott: That Powerslam could ended this match, but now that the work is all done Henry wants to have some fun.

Henry stood up, with the lifeless Funaki still at his feet. Henry took a few steps back, and bounced off the ropes. Henry then went for a Big Splash on the cruiserweight, but Funaki again rolled out of the way. Henry gingerly got up, and Funaki started firing into him with the hardest punches that he could. The big man was reeling! Henry kept going backwards with each punch until he landed in the corner.

Josh Mathews: Don't count him out yet Bill!

Funaki managed to get Henry out of the corner, grab him around his head and go for a big Tornado DDT. But as Funaki finished the Tornado and went for the DDT, Henry pushed him off. Funaki landed on his feet in the middle of the ring. Funaki then ran into the opposite corner, and climbed right up the turnbuckles. Henry charged in a little and then stopped. Funaki went for a Crossbody, but he was caught by Henry and positioned for the World's Strongest Slam! BAM. Henry just crushed the poor little jap. Henry hooked Funaki's leg for good measure. One, Two, Three.

Bill DeMott: What did I tell you kid!

Josh Mathews: You were right Bill, but it was a lot closer than both of us expected.

Bill DeMott: SPLAT!

Josh Mathews: What?

Bill DeMott: That's the last sound that Funaki heard.

OR 67

CR 62

MQ 73

*3/4

KNOCK YOURSELF OUT

The camera goes into a locker room backstage. The camera just shows a bunch of closed lockers for a few seconds before we hear a loud growl and for a split second we see Paul London. London rams himself head first into his locker.

Paul London: Last week was one of the worst week's in my life. No, it was THE worst week in my life. It was worse than the time I had to share a room with Bradshaw...

Take Two

Paul London: Last week was one of the worst week's in my life. No, it was THE worst week in my life. First, Spanky went and cost us our Tag Team Match with Haas & Benjamin, and then Mark Henry went and called me out as being the worst wrestler here on Smackdown. But, I won't ever have a week like that again. That week was so bad, it was worse than the week where my dog died, the front end of my car got messed up, my mom had to go to the hospital, and my garage door broke. I don't know how my mom got her license in the first place. She's blind as a bat. She drove my damn car right through the garage door, and right into my dog Snuffelufigus. I loved that dog. I wish he was still alive. But, noooo even that week was better than last week. But, there is a moral to this story. The moral of this story is that *BLEEEP* happens. And, that when it does happen, you've gotta do your best to fix it. So, Spanky, if you're watching this, I'm sorry that I took your plane tickets, car keys, wallot, and... your clothes, but if that's what it takes to make sure that you aren't here to make me lose any more matches, then I'm glad that I did it. Then I had the other problem to resolve. Mark Henry thinks that I'm the worst wrestler on the Smackdown roster? Well, that's why tonight I requested a match with someone that I KNOW is worse than me. So, tonight in YOUR Velocity main event, I'll be wrestling Shannon Moore. Sure, you're probably asking why I'm going to prove that I'm not weak by beating a woman, but damn have you seen some of her matches? Don't let her sex appeal fool you, she can really hang in there with the guys. And she uses that chest of hers as a distraction. It's all just a great big strategy on her part, wrestle without a shirt on and none of the guys will be able to pay attention. Well, I've got you scouted Shannon, and that just will not work on me. I will prove that I... AM... NOT... WEAK...

London bangs his head into the locker again.

Paul London: Shannon Moore, tonight, I feel sorry for you because I am going to take out a lot of my pent up aggression on you. After our match you're going to wish you had taken some of them women's self defense classes that all the other Yentas talk about. It's almost time Shannon. It's almost time.

London backs up, takes a running start and again charges into the locker. This time after the loud thud of his head hitting the locker, London falls backwards and falls straight down unconscious.

Bill DeMott: ... What the hell just happened?

Josh Mathews: I think Paul London is under the impression that Shannon Moore is a female... But Shannon Moore is actually one of the talented Smackdown-Exclusive Cruiserweights.

Bill DeMott: No, I know Shannon is a female, but did he just knock himself unconscious.

Josh Matthews: It certainly looks that way.

56

SPYDER VS SAKODA

The music of Kyo Dai hits, and out comes Sakoda, with his partner Akio. These guys get no heat at all without Tajiri. Sakoda is wearing Black dress pants so that he still looks like he is a part of the Japanese Mafia. Akio is wearing the same except he doesn't look half as threatening. Sakoda and Akio march down to the ring in sync. In the ring is Sakoda's opponent for the night, Spyder on loan from NWA Canada. Spyder is moderately talented and is being heavily scouted by the WWE. He looks kind of like Brian Lee pre-anorexia but wrestles a little bit of a quicker pace, and tends to be more of a technically sound brawler.

Bill DeMott: Sakoda is wrestling... Spyder?

Josh Mathews: Yes, Spyder comes to us from Canada where he was trained by the Canadian Wrestling Federation.

Bill DeMott: I don't care where he's from but it looks like he's going to have his hands full with 1/3 of Kyo Dai.

Sakoda gets in the ring, and immediately locks up with Spyder. Sakoda puts on a side headlock. He applies a little bit of pressure at first before being shoved off into the ropes by Spyder. Spyder is taking the offense straight to Sakoda to start things off as he hits him with a back elbow that takes Sakoda down. Spyder drops an elbow on Sakoda, then gets up and does it again two more times. Spyder picks Sakoda up to his feet. Spyder picks up Sakoda and then scoop slams him down. Spyder then lets out a holler as the crowd modestly pops.

Josh Mathews: This youngster is really taking it to Sakoda. This is his first appearance on WWE Television and he must want to win this one bad.

Bill DeMott: He wants to win, but with one little mistake it'll be all over.

Spyder steps between the ropes and onto the apron. He climbs up to the top rope, but by now Sakoda is up to his feet. Sakoda grabs Spyder by the arm and yanks him off the top rope, and dick first right on the top rope. Spyder stays spread eagle for a split second, when Sakoda tries to drill him with a Yakuza Kick. Spyder somehow manages to dodge that bullet by falling off the top rope to the mat below. After Sakoda missed that Yakuza Kick, he left himself with his leg draped over the top rope. With Sakoda bouncing around holding his junk, Spyder regrouped and hooked Sakoda up for a suplex. Spyder hit the suplex taking Sakoda from the ropes to the middle of the ring. Spyder hollered that "It's Over."

Josh Mathews: I think Spyder is planning on ending it here with his T-Bone Suplex.

Bill DeMott: You know what, I'll be honest. He's been impressive so far, but I don't think he's got Sakoda hurt enough to take a pinfall.

Spyder then waited for Sakoda to get up to his feet. When Sakoda got up, Spyder hooked him up for his specialty, the T-Bone Suplex. As Spyder started to lift, Akio grabbed his legs from the outside. Spyder let go of Sakoda, and looked at Akio. Akio put his hands up and looked innocent. Spyder pointed at him, turned around and got fucking hammered with Sakoda's ROARING ELBOW. Sakoda made the cover, and pulled the tights. One, Two, Three.

Bill DeMott: I was right again. He made one little mistake and it cost him his debut match. And after that Roaring Elbow it'd surprise me if he had a second match.

Josh Mathews: You're not kidding, that looked brutal.

OR 41

CR 17

MQ 66

1/4*

Commercials

BILLY GUNN VS MATT FAIRLANE

Matt Fairlane is already in the ring, when "I'M AN ASS MAN" is heard over the sound system. Billy Gunn comes out wearing his red tights with Ass Man written over a pair of pink lips in the back. Billy shakes his ass a little bit before strutting down to the ring. Billy slides underneath the ropes and gets up to his feet. Billy turns his back to Fairlane, lifts up one leg and then smacks his own ass a couple of times.

Josh Mathews: Now Billy Gunn is up against Matt Fairlane, who also comes from the Canadian Wrestling Federation.

Bill DeMott: What do they breed these guys?

Fairlane has had enough of this showboating and charges in at Gunn. Gunn saw this coming, and moved out of the corner. Fairlane crashes into the corner. Gunn grabs him by the hair and slams him face first into the turnbuckles. Gunn then whips Fairlane back across the ring into the turnbuckles. Gunn charges at Fairlane and connects with a Stinger Splash. Fairlane starts to stumble out of the corner, and Billy meets him with a quick Tilt-A-Whirl-Slam. Billy picks up Fairlane and goes to punch him, but Fairlane hits him with a quick thumb to the eye. Fairlane then boots Gunn in the gut. Gunn hunches over, and Fairlane hits him with a running knee lift right in the face. Fairlane lifts up Gunn and locks him in a side headlock. Gunn tries to push Fairlane off, but Fairlane stops. Gunn tries it again, but Fairlane still keeps it locked in. Fairlane takes Gunn over with a Headlock Takedown. Fairlane waits for Gunn to get up and when he does, Fairlane hits another boot to the gut of Gunn. Gunn hunches over, and Fairlane lifts him up for his specialty the Reverse Piledriver! But Gunn reverses it into a High Back Body Drop. Fairlane hits hard, gets right back up and runs at Gunn, Gunn gets him in a waistlock, but then hits him with the "One and Only". Gunn goes for the cover. One, Two, Three.

Bill DeMott: Fairlane never really stood a chance here.

Josh Mathews: Gunn was all over him from the second this match started till the second it ended.

OR 58

CR 49

MQ 67

3/4*

PREACHING MATTITUDE

Matt Hardy: A WOMAN! Shannon, he thinks you're a woman.

Matt Hardy starts laughing.

Matt Hardy: You're wrestling him up next, and he thinks that you're a woman.

Shannon: Yeah, but what's so funny about that.

Matt Hardy: The funny thing is that he just gave you the advantage without you even knowing it, and whats the #1 Rule In The Mattitude Handbook?

Shannon: Don't share a shower with Bradshaw?

Take Two

Shannon: Don't drink the water?

Matt Hardy: No you moron, take every advantage that you can. This lunatic thinks that he's going into this match wrestling a woman. If you bring the fight to him, you have the match won. Now what are you going to do?

Shannon: I'm going to go out there and slap him right in the face!! YEAH!

Matt Hardy: NO! NO! NO! That's what he expects you to do Shannon. You've got to go out there and kick him in the teeth, punch him in the nose, I don't know, Powerbomb his ass... but no slapping, no hair pulling, not too much biting... You need this match Shannon. You need to prove to Paul London that you really are a man, so what are you going to do?

Shannon: I'm going to go out there and punch him... hard... in the face?

Matt Hardy: Good, now go out there and do it!

Shannon: Then I'm going to give him the biggest Mooregasm I've ever given somebody!

Matt Hardy: WHAT?!?

Shannon pats Matt on the chest before walking away.

75

Josh Mathews: Well Moore-On, it looks like you're pal Shannon Moore plans on giving Paul London a powerful Mooregasm.

Bill DeMott: You call me a moron again and you're head will be so far up your ass...

Josh Mathews: No, no, no... A Moore-on is a Shannon Moore fan.

Bill DeMott: Whatever you say kid.

London comes out looking a little foggy after his little accident in his locker room. He's wearing his plain shiny blue tights. He gets a little reaction from the fans, but not much by any stretch of the imagination. He sprints down to the ring, slides in under the bottom of the rope, and then mellows out to wait for Shannon Moore.

The Mattitude Countdown appears on the Titan-Tron followed by the System Failure message. Shannon Moore comes out with the Black MF'ER Tee shirt on with the sleeves cut off. He's wearing red windbreakers with silver stripes by the side. Moore runs down to the ring, and is about to slide in the same way that London did, but he stops himself and then slowly gets into the ring.

Josh Mathews: This should be a great match.

Bill DeMott: If these two do what they get paid to do instead of argue about whose a man and whose a woman, then this'll definitely be a great match.

Both London and Moore walk to the middle of the ring as the bell sounds. The match starts out with a collar and elbow tie up, where Moore actually gets the advantage locking in a Wristlock. London has a fake look of shock on his face, because you know, Shannon's not a man and all. London tries to grab Moore's hair for a snapmare but Moore leans back out of reach. London manages to counter the move with a hammerlock. More lets out a cry of pain, like any woman would, as London locks in the move tightly. Moore grabs London around the head and uses his leverage to lift himself in the air and back down taking London down with him into an impressive snapmare takeover. But the tide changes when London and Moore get up right away. Moore charges London. London sees him coming and gives him a hiptoss, followed by a deep arm drag and then yet another arm drag. Moore rolls out of the ring to collect his thoughts as the fans pop a bit for London, who is now nonchalantly strutting around the ring. Moore climbs back in the ring and stares down London. They go for another lock up and London locks on another hammerlock. Moore repositions his body and grabs London and takes him over into a Fireman's carry into the mat. London gets up and Moore nails an arm drag. London gets up and runs at Moore. Moore delivers a drop toe hold to London. He grabs London's arm and puts him in a tight armbar. I think it was at this point that London might have realized that Moore was a man. London howls out in pain and tries to break the armbar with a few punches but Moore is surprisingly relentless and keeps the move locked in. London tries another tactic. He flips over the back of Moore and applies a schoolboy! 1, 2, Moore kicks out.

Josh Mathews: I think after London's initial shock that Moore was a man wore off, he has been taking this match more seriously.

Bill DeMott: No kidding, he almost won it there.

Both men get up and eye each other up, as the fans are moderately cheering the wrestling that is going on. The two men circle each other, and then they lockup again in a collar and elbow tie-up. This time Moore drives a knee in London's gut and lifts him up for a Front Suplex. During the suplex, London twists his body and lands on his feet behind Moore. London pushes Moore into the ropes, and goes for a roll-up but Moore hangs onto the ropes as London rolls backwards. London makes his way up to his feet and charges Moore and tries to hit him with a clothesline. However, Moore ducked it and grabbed London. Moore drills him with a Reverse DDT. One, Two, No! London got his shoulder up. Moore gets up and runs off the ropes and hits a leg drop. He gets up again and quickly runs to the ropes, and drops another leg. Moore makes another cover. 1, 2, But London kicks out again.

Bill DeMott: Shannon Moore just has to stay on top of Paul London and eventually he won't be able to kick out.

Josh Mathews: If London doesn't change the pace of this match quick, I think he might end up on the losing end for the third time in a row.

Moore starts to pick up London, but London grabs his head and goes for a small package! 1, 2, no! Moore gets out of it at the last second. Moore again is the first person up. He picks London up, irish whips him into the ropes, and London runs straight into a Backdrop Driver! Moore runs off of the ropes, and goes for a Senton Splash! No! London rolls out of the way and Moore eats mat. Moore this time struggles to his feet and climbs to the middle as London stumbles around to his feet. He sees Moore perched on the middle turnbuckle, so he throws himself at Moore. Moore leaps off the middle turnbuckle and crotches himself. London quickly ascends to the top rope. He wraps his legs around Moore's head and then hits him with a Hurricanranna off the Top Rope. London makes the cover. 1, 2, NO! Moore somehow managed to kick out. London sensing the end was near, picked up Moore and lined him up perfectly with the ring ropes. London then slammed Moore down to the mat. London then quickly climbed to the top turnbuckle. London leapt off the top turnbuckle looking to hit the 450 Splash on Shannon Moore. Moore rolled out of the way, but London landed on his feet! London took a second to shift his weight and regain his balance when Moore hit him with an uppercut in the London family jewels. London hunched over. Moore climbed back to the middle rope. Moore flew at London looking to hit him with the Mooregasm, but London stood up straight just in time to dodge the move. Moore landed hard on his back and drove the wind right out of himself. Moore was down. London climbed back up to the top rope, and then came off with the London Calling, shooting star press. It landed perfectly! London made the cover. One, Two, Three.

Josh Mathews: WOW! That was impressive!

Bill DeMott: I've gotta tell you, I've never seen that move pulled off so perfectly. Paul London might be a total maniac, but he just proved that he could also get it done in the ring.

Josh Mathews: Yes he did, but Shannon Moore also proved that he's no slouch either. Anyway, that's all we have for you tonight, but we'll see you all again tommorow at Survivor Series. Good night!

Bill DeMott: Good night.

OR: 72

CR: 51

MQ: 93

***1/2

OR: 57

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Survivor Series Prediction Contest

Triple H vs Goldberg ©

Winner: 4 Points

Title Change?: 2 Points

Win Via? (DQ, Pin, Submit): 1 Point

Team Austin - Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Road Warrior Animal, Bubba Ray Dudley & Trish Stratus vs Chris Jericho, Christian, Test, Scott Steiner & Victoria

Winning Team: 4 Points

First Elimination: One Point

Who Made First Elimination: One Point

Second Elimination: One Point

Who Made Second Elimination: One Point

Third Elimination: One Point

Who Made Third Elimination: One Point

Fourth Elimination: One Point

Who Eliminated Fourth Person: One Point

Fifth Elimination: One Point

Who Eliminated Fifth Person: One Point

Sixth Elimination: One Point

Who Eliminated Sixth Person: One Point

Seventh Elimination: One Point

Who Eliminated Seventh Person: One Point

Eight Elimination: One Point

Who Eliminated Eighth Person: One Point

Ninth Elimination: Four Points

Who Survived: Four Points

Kane vs Shane - AMBULANCE MATCH

Winner: 4 Points

Lita vs Molly © - No Disqualification Match

Winner: 4 Points

Title Change?: One Points

Win Via?: One Point

Shawn Michaels, Maven, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Ric Flair, Batista, Randy Orton and Christopher Nowinski

Winning Team: 4 Points

Surviving Members: Three points each.

Order of Elimination: One point for each person in correct order. Pick six of them and put them in order of elimination.

Brock, Big Show, Cena, Morgan, and Jones vs Angle, Benoit, APA, Miller

Winning Team: 4 Points

Surviving Member: Three points.

Order of Elimination: One point. Put nine men in the order they'll be eliminated.

Vince vs Undertaker BURIED ALIVE

Winner: 4 Points

Tajiri © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio - Ultimate Survivors Match

Same rules as the Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania

Winner at end of Match: 4 Points

Who will have recorded the most pinfalls?: Three points.

How many times will the title change hands? Be within two.: Two Points.

Rank the men in order of highest amount of pins, to lowest: One point each.

Bashams © vs Guerreros vs TWGTTP

Winners: 4 points.

Team Pinned: Three points.

Title Change?: One point.

Win Via: One Point.

First Prize: Book a Raw feud from Survivor Series to Armageddon.

Second Prize: Book the main event for the next Raw, Smackdown, Velocity and Heat.

Third Prize: Pick the soundtrack for Armageddon.

Sorry it's not very pretty, but bah, I'll make a show preview that's pretty.

Edited by Essa
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Very good Velocity Essa. Really liked the Bradshaw comments myself, and Paul London running into the lockers was classic. Would love it if this led to some slapstick moments. Maybe involving a giant mallet of some sort.

One gripe is Mark Henry, I don't like the man at all, so to see him wrestling, winning and getting promo time is quite annoying. Still you've captured his style of talking well and as long as he keeps to crushing Spike Dudley and Nunzio and away from ANY title I'll be relatively happy. Just keep him away from Funaki in future, because I love Funaki and wish someone would give him the push he deserves. *Hint Hint*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Triple H vs Goldberg ©

Winner: Goldberg

Title Change?: No

Win Via? (DQ, Pin, Submit): DQ

Team Austin - Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Road Warrior Animal, Bubba Ray Dudley & Trish Stratus vs Chris Jericho, Christian, Test, Scott Steiner & Victoria

Winning Team: Team Bischoff

First Elimination: Road Warrior Animal

Who Made First Elimination: Scott Steiner

Second Elimination: Scott Steiner

Who Made Second Elimination: Rob Van Dam

Third Elimination: Victoria

Who Made Third Elimination: Trish Stratus

Fourth Elimination: Bubba Ray Dudley

Who Eliminated Fourth Person: Test

Fifth Elimination: Trish Stratus

Who Eliminated Fifth Person: Chris Jericho

Sixth Elimination: Christian

Who Eliminated Sixth Person: Booker T

Seventh Elimination: Booker T

Who Eliminated Seventh Person: Test

Eight Elimination: Test

Who Eliminated Eighth Person: Rob Van Dam

Ninth Elimination: Rob Van Dam

Who Survived: Chris Jericho

Kane vs Shane - AMBULANCE MATCH

Winner: Kane

Lita vs Molly © - No Disqualification Match

Winner: Molly

Title Change?: No

Win Via?: Pin

Shawn Michaels, Maven, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Ric Flair, Batista, Randy Orton and Christopher Nowinski

Winning Team: Evolution & Nowinski

Surviving Members: Flair & Nowinski

Order of Elimination: Cade, Batista, Jindrak, Maven, Orton, Michaels

Brock, Big Show, Cena, Morgan, and Jones vs Angle, Benoit, APA, Miller

Winning Team: Team Angle

Surviving Member: Chris Benoit

Order of Elimination: Bradshaw, Faarooq, Morgan, Jones, Miller, Show, Angle, Cena, Lesnar

Vince vs Undertaker BURIED ALIVE

Winner: Vince

Tajiri © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio - Ultimate Survivors Match

Same rules as the Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania

Winner at end of Match: Jamie Noble

Who will have recorded the most pinfalls?: Rey Mysterio

How many times will the title change hands? Be within two.: 5

Rank the men in order of highest amount of pins, to lowest: Mysterio, Tajiri, Ultimo, Noble

Bashams © vs Guerreros vs TWGTTP

Winners: TWGTTP

Team Pinned: Bashams

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via: Submission

------------------

First Prize: Book a Raw feud from Survivor Series to Armageddon.

Second Prize: Book the main event for the next Raw, Smackdown, Velocity and Heat.

Third Prize: Pick the soundtrack for Armageddon.

Sorry it's not very pretty, but bah, I'll make a show preview that's pretty.

Edited by ADGray
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OK, now this is some heavy lifting...

Survivor Series Prediction Contest

Triple H vs Goldberg ©

Winner: Goldberg

Title Change?: No

Win Via? (DQ, Pin, Submit): DQ

Team Austin - Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Road Warrior Animal, Bubba Ray Dudley & Trish Stratus vs Chris Jericho, Christian, Test, Scott Steiner & Victoria

Winning Team: Jericho's team

First Elimination: Booker T

Who Made First Elimination: Test

Second Elimination: Steiner

Who Made Second Elimination: Bubba Ray

Third Elimination: Christian

Who Made Third Elimination: Animal

Fourth Elimination: Trish

Who Eliminated Fourth Person: Test

Fifth Elimination: Victoria

Who Eliminated Fifth Person: Bubba Ray

Sixth Elimination: Animal

Who Eliminated Sixth Person: Jericho

Seventh Elimination: Bubba Ray

Who Eliminated Seventh Person: Jericho

Eight Elimination: Test

Who Eliminated Eighth Person: RVD

Ninth Elimination: RVD

Who Survived: Jericho

Kane vs Shane - AMBULANCE MATCH

Winner: Shane

Lita vs Molly © - No Disqualification Match

Winner: Molly

Title Change?: No

Win Via?: Submission

Shawn Michaels, Maven, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Ric Flair, Batista, Randy Orton and Christopher Nowinski

Winning Team: Evolution

Surviving Members: Nowinski, Flair

Order of Elimination: Maven, Cade, Orton, Jindrak, Batista, Michaels

Brock, Big Show, Cena, Morgan, and Jones vs Angle, Benoit, APA, Miller

Winning Team: Team Lesnar

Surviving Member: Cena

Order of Elimination: Faarooq, Miller, Morgan, Bradshaw, Big Show, Angle, Jones, Lesnar, Benoit

Vince vs Undertaker BURIED ALIVE

Winner: Vince

Tajiri © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio - Ultimate Survivors Match

Same rules as the Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania

Winner at end of Match: Noble

Who will have recorded the most pinfalls?: Tajiri

How many times will the title change hands? Be within two.: Four

Rank the men in order of highest amount of pins, to lowest: Tajiri, Noble, Mysterio, Ultimo

Bashams © vs Guerreros vs TWGTTP

Winners: WGTT

Team Pinned: Guerreros

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via: Cheating pinfall

And those Bradshaw comments WERE hilarious...although somehow I doubt they would have ever made the air... :shifty:

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Man Velocity was a lil bit entertaining. The only bright spot there for me was the Paul London segment when he accidentally says something about sleeping with Bradshaw in the same room. And the aftermat of the segment where Bill also thinks Shannon is a woman and asks if London just banged his head on teh locker. Funny stuff. Anyways.......here

Survivor Series Prediction Contest

Triple H vs Goldberg ©

Winner: Goldberg

Title Change?: No

Win Via? (DQ, Pin, Submit): DQ

Team Austin - Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Road Warrior Animal, Bubba Ray Dudley & Trish Stratus vs Chris Jericho, Christian, Test, Scott Steiner & Victoria

Winning Team: Team Austin

First Elimination: Test

Who Made First Elimination: Trish (hahahah!!!)

Second Elimination: Animal

Who Made Second Elimination: Steiner

Third Elimination: Victoria

Who Made Third Elimination: Trish

Fourth Elimination: Trish

Who Eliminated Fourth Person: Jericho

Fifth Elimination: Booker T

Who Eliminated Fifth Person: Jericho

Sixth Elimination: Christian

Who Eliminated Sixth Person: RVD

Seventh Elimination: Steiner

Who Eliminated Seventh Person: Bubba

Eight Elimination: Bubba

Who Eliminated Eighth Person: Jericho

Ninth Elimination: Jericho

Who Survived: RVD

Kane vs Shane - AMBULANCE MATCH

Winner: Kane

Lita vs Molly © - No Disqualification Match

Winner: Molly

Title Change?: No

Win Via?: Pinfall

Shawn Michaels, Maven, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Ric Flair, Batista, Randy Orton and Christopher Nowinski

Winning Team: Team Flair

Surviving Members: Ric Flair and Orton

Order of Elimination:

1) Cade

2) Nowinski

3) Jindrak

4) Maven

5) Batista

6) HBK

Brock, Big Show, Cena, Morgan, and Jones vs Angle, Benoit, APA, Miller

Winning Team: Team Angle

Surviving Member: Benoit

Order of Elimination:

1) Jones

2) Faarooq

3) Miller

4) Morgan

5) Bradshaw

6) Big Show

7) Angle

8) Cena

9) Lesnar

Vince vs Undertaker BURIED ALIVE

Winner: Taker

Tajiri © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio - Ultimate Survivors Match

Same rules as the Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania

Winner at end of Match: Rey Mysterio

Who will have recorded the most pinfalls?: Tajiri

How many times will the title change hands? Be within two.: 6

Rank the men in order of highest amount of pins, to lowest: Tajiri, Rey, Noble, Ultimo

Bashams © vs Guerreros vs TWGTTP

Winners: TWGTTP

Team Pinned: Bashams

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via: Pinfall

Edited by D-Extreme
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Guest 12characters

Survivor Series Prediction Contest

Triple H vs Goldberg ©

Winner: Goldberg

Title Change?: No

Win Via? (DQ, Pin, Submit): DQ

Team Austin - Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Road Warrior Animal, Bubba Ray Dudley & Trish Stratus vs Chris Jericho, Christian, Test, Scott Steiner & Victoria

Winning Team: Team Austin

First Elimination: Scott Steiner

Who Made First Elimination: Booker T

Second Elimination: Trish Stratus

Who Made Second Elimination: Victoria

Third Elimination: Road Warrior Animal

Who Made Third Elimination: Test

Fourth Elimination: Test

Who Eliminated Fourth Person: Booker T

Fifth Elimination: Victoria

Who Eliminated Fifth Person: Buh Buh

Sixth Elimination: Buh Buh

Who Eliminated Sixth Person: Christian

Seventh Elimination: Rob Van Dam

Who Eliminated Seventh Person: Chris Jericho

Eight Elimination: Christian

Who Eliminated Eighth Person: Booker T

Ninth Elimination: Chris Jericho

Who Survived: Booker T

Kane vs Shane - AMBULANCE MATCH

Winner: Kane

Lita vs Molly © - No Disqualification Match

Winner: Lita

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via?: Pinfall

Shawn Michaels, Maven, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Ric Flair, Batista, Randy Orton and Christopher Nowinski

Winning Team: Flair's Team

Surviving Members: Flair, Batista

Order of Elimination: Cade, Jindrak, Nowinski, Maven, Orton, Michaels

Brock, Big Show, Cena, Morgan, and Jones vs Angle, Benoit, APA, Miller

Winning Team: Brock's team

Surviving Member: John Cena

Order of Elimination: Miller, APA, Jones, Morgan, Big Show, Benoit, Brock, Angle

Vince vs Undertaker BURIED ALIVE

Winner: Undertaker

Tajiri © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio - Ultimate Survivors Match

Same rules as the Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania

Winner at end of Match: Jamie Noble

Who will have recorded the most pinfalls?: Jamie Noble

How many times will the title change hands? Be within two.: 5

Rank the men in order of highest amount of pins, to lowest: Noble, Tajiri, Rey, Ultimo

Bashams © vs Guerreros vs TWGTTP

Winners: TWGTTP

Team Pinned: Bashams

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via: Pinfall

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Survivor Series Prediction Contest

Triple H vs Goldberg ©

Winner: Triple H

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via? (DQ, Pin, Submit): Pin

Team Austin - Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Road Warrior Animal, Bubba Ray Dudley & Trish Stratus vs Chris Jericho, Christian, Test, Scott Steiner & Victoria

Winning Team: Team Bischoff

First Elimination: Road Warrior Animal

Who Made First Elimination: Christian

Second Elimination: Test

Who Made Second Elimination: Bubba Ray Dudley

Third Elimination: Scott Steiner

Who Made Third Elimination: Bubba Ray Dudley

Fourth Elimination: Bubba Ray Dudley

Who Eliminated Fourth Person: Christian

Fifth Elimination: Christian

Who Eliminated Fifth Person: Trish Stratus

Sixth Elimination: Victoria

Who Eliminated Sixth Person: Trish Stratus

Seventh Elimination: Trish Stratus

Who Eliminated Seventh Person: Chris Jericho

Eight Elimination: Booker T

Who Eliminated Eighth Person: Chris Jericho

Ninth Elimination: Rob Van Dam [booker T comes in and interferes, joining his former boss, Bischoff]

Who Survived: Chris Jericho

Kane vs Shane - AMBULANCE MATCH

Winner: Kane

Lita vs Molly © - No Disqualification Match

Winner: Lita

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via?: Pin

Shawn Michaels, Maven, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Ric Flair, Batista, Randy Orton and Christopher Nowinski

Winning Team: Evolution

Surviving Members: Randy Orton, Batista

Order of Elimination: Garrison Cade, Ric Flair, Mark Jindrack, Chris Nowinski, Maven, Shawn Micheals

Brock, Big Show, Cena, Morgan, and Jones vs Angle, Benoit, APA, Miller

Winning Team: Team Angle

Surviving Member: Chris Benoit

Order of Elimination: Morgan, Jones, Bradshaw, Miller, Cena, Faarooq, Angle, Brock, Big Show

Vince vs Undertaker BURIED ALIVE

Winner: Undertaker

Tajiri © vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble vs Rey Mysterio - Ultimate Survivors Match

Same rules as the Hardcore Battle Royal from WrestleMania

Winner at end of Match: Tajiri

Who will have recorded the most pinfalls?: Rey Misterio

How many times will the title change hands? Be within two.: 8

Rank the men in order of highest amount of pins, to lowest: Rey Misterio, Jamie Noble, Ultimo Dragon, Tajiri

Bashams © vs Guerreros vs TWGTTP

Winners: TWGTTP

Team Pinned: Guerreros

Title Change?: Yes

Win Via: Submission

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  • 2 months later...

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WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16 2003

LIVE, FROM THE AMERICAN AIRLINES ARENA IN DALLAS TEXAS

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A massive pyro show kicks off WWE Survivor Series. The camera focuses in on the pyro at first but then it pans up to show the War Games Cage, and then the two rings side by side. We take it to ringside with Tazz and Michael Cole.

Michael Cole: Hello wrestling fans, we are live here in The American Airlines Arena in Dallas Texas for WWE Survivor Series, and boy do we have a show for you tonight.

Tazz: Yes we do Cole, tonight's show is gonna be off the charts. We got our boss Vinnie Mac taking on Big Evil, The Undataka in a Buried Alive match Cole. A Buried Alive Match is one of the craziest matches evuh invented and Mista McMahon is gonna go into it with the man that invented the match.

Michael Cole: You're right Tazz, it certainly does not look good for Mr. McMahon.

Tazz: No doubt.

Michael Cole: But that's not all that Smackdown has in store for you tonight. We've also got a big five vs five Elimination Tag Match tonight with ten of Smackdown's biggest superstars. We've got the team of Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, The APA, and Ernest 'The Cat' Miller taking on the team of Brock Lesnar, Big Show, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones and John Cena.

Tazz: That match is gonna be a rocketbustah Cole. All of these guys got beef with each otha, and tonight they all got a chance to take it out on each otha.

Michael Cole: It certainly will. We've also got an Ultimate Survivor's Match for the Cruiserweight Title featuring champion, Tajiri, the Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble and Rey Mysterio Jr.

Tazz: Tha Japanese Buzzsaw has got his work cut out for him here, and so will Da Basham Brothas when they defend their Tag Team Titles against Los Guerreros and Da World's Greatest Tag Team.

Michael Cole: Smackdown's lineup for tonight is stacked, and so is Ra...

Michael Cole is cut off when he sees a bloody Vince McMahon stumbling backwards through the curtain. He looks like he is begging someone off. We just see the bloody McMahon until someone steps out from behind the curtain. IT'S THE UNDERTAKER. Vince drops down to his knees and starts pleading with the Undertaker for him to stop. The Undertaker responds to this pleading by poking Vince in the chest with his foot. Vince fell down flat on his back. The Undertaker stands over Vince and bends down. Undertaker just starts firing into McMahon with well placed punches that bust Vince McMahon open even more than he already was.

Tazz: Cole, The Undataka isn't waiting till later for his match. He's gonna bury McMahon alive right now!

Michael Cole: Mr. McMahon is already a bloody mess, and this match has just started!

Tazz: How do we know that Coleslaw? Undertaka could have been kicking the hell out of Vince backstage all day long.

The Undertaker grabs Vince by the hair and lifts him up by his hair. Undertaker holds Vince by his hair, pulls back and then headbutts Vince. Undertaker now has Vince's blood smeared all over his forehead. Undertaker laughs a little before again picking Vince up to his feet. Taker rears back and punches McMahon right in his already open wound. McMahon stumbles backwards a bit before trying to walk away from the Undertaker.

Michael Cole: He's trying to get away from the Undertaker.

Tazz: He can run Cole, but he can't hide. There aint no way that Undertaka is gonna let McMahon get out of the ass whoopin that he's got coming to him.

Undertaker has his back to the Titan Tron, so McMahon tries to make a getaway to the ringside area. Undertaker catches up with McMahon just before he gets to the ring. Undertaker grabs the back of McMahon's head and slams him head first into the ring apron. Blood spatters against the ring apron, as Vince is heard yelling "No more"... Undertaker responds to that by slamming McMahon's head into the ring apron one more time. Undertaker then grabs McMahon by the arm and Irish Whips him into the barricade. Undertaker then charges in at Vince and levels Vince with a clothesline that carries Vince over the barricade and into the front row of the crowd.

Michael Cole: The Undertaker just sent McMahon flying over the barricade and into the crowd.

Tazz: Damn Cole, I think McMahon just took out the first three rows of fans.

Security clears away most of the fans as Undertaker steps over the top of the barricade and into the crowd. The Undertaker then lifts Vince McMahon up to his feet. Undertaker sets up a chair and sits Vince down on it. Undertaker then takes a step back, and then boots Vince McMahon right in the face. Vince falls backwards on the chair, and the chair topples over onto the concrete ground. Vince somehow works his way up to his feet, holding his back and walks right into a choke hold from Undertaker. Instead of going for the Chokeslam, Undertaker just shoves Vince backwards really hard. Vince crashes into the barricade, but before he could fall, Undertaker charges in and hits McMahon with his Flying Clothesline! Undertaker gets enough air to carry himself over the barricade and to the ringside mat. Vince falls back over the barricade too.

Michael Cole: What agility being shown by the Undertaker! A man his size shouldn't be able to get that much hang time.

Tazz: That's the thing about the Undertaka. He's so dangerous because he can either beat the hell out of you and finish you off with a Chokeslam or the Last Ride, or he can lock you in a move like the Dragon Sleeper and it's lights out. And, sometimes he even busts out moves like the ones we just saw.

Undertaker gets up to his feet before Vince can. Taker is just waiting for Vince to get up to his feet, and when he does, Taker just scoops McMahon up onto his shoulders. Taker charges in with McMahon on his shoulders, and launches McMahon shoulder first into the ring post. McMahon screams out in pain as he crashes down to the ground with a sick thud. Taker then goes over to McMahon, and attempts to pick him up, but McMahon hits Undertaker with an uppercut straight to the Calloway Family Jewels. McMahon pulls himself up to his feet, grabs Undertaker by the hair and throws him headfirst into the ring post. Undertaker hits the post hard but doesn't fall down. He holds onto the ropes to kind of keep himself standing.

Tazz: That's it McMahon. When you're in the ring with someone that can go like the Undertaker can, you gotta pick your spots and strike when you get the chance. Then ya gotta keep on going and never stop striking.

Michael Cole: Well, Tazz it's not exactly fair that he needed a low blow and the use of the steel ring post to get on the offensive.

Tazz: Shut it Cole, it's not fair that Undertaka just beat the hell out of our boss in the front row of the crowd.

McMahon gathered whatever energy he has left and charges at the Undertaker with a Double Arm Sledge, but Undertaker stops him dead in his tracks by grabbing him around the throat with one hand. Undertaker then adjusts his hands and Beale Tosses Vince McMahon right into the Time Keepers table. The sound of McMahon hitting the ring bell on the Time Keepers Table echoes through the arena. The table doesn't collapse, but it falls over to the side with McMahon somehow ending up underneath of it. Undertaker starts stalking McMahon, while McMahon is shuffling around underneath the table.

Michael Cole: Oh my god... Undertaker just Chokeslammed Vince into the Time Keepers Table!

Tazz: Wow, Vince is gettin tossed around like a Cruiserweight. This does not look good for him.

McMahon finds a microphone down there, and screams into the microphone "Now! Get out here now!" Undertaker just shrugs it off, and grabs McMahon's leg. Undertaker pulls McMahon out from underneath the table by his leg, and lifts him up to his feet. Undertaker whips McMahon into the ring apron, and McMahon leans his head into the ring to sort of catch a breather. Undertaker then picks up the chair from the Time Keepers table, and walks over to McMahon. Undertaker lifts the chair up into the air and then slams it down right across the exposed back of Vince McMahon. Vince yelps in pain, before the Undertaker pulls his head out of the ring. Undertaker then raises the chair up into the air one more time, and this time he brings it down on the skull of Vince McMahon opening up his head even more.

Michael Cole: He is bleeding profusely from his head Tazz! That chair shot busted him open even wider.

Tazz: Yeah, but forget about that Cole. Who the hell was Vince telling to get out here? I think Vince has a Plan B.

Vince is nearing unconsciousness when Undertaker unfolds the chair, and places Vince's head inside the chair. Vince is on his hands and knees with his head sticking through the chair when the Undertaker climbs up onto the ring apron. Undertaker takes a running start and was about to drop a leg off the ring apron onto Vince's head stuck inside the chair, when BOOM! Red pyro blasts out of the turnbuckles as "Slow Chemical" by Finger Eleven hit.

Tazz: It's Kane! It's Kane!

Michael Cole: It's the Undertaker's brother, and Raw Superstar, Kane. What business does he have being out here?

Tazz: I dunno Cole, but to steal a saying from my good buddy JR, it looks like business is about to pick up.

The Big Red Machine Kane, comes walking down to the ringside area. Undertaker hops right off the ring apron, and walks up the entrance ramp. Undertaker meets Kane halfway down with a series of punches. Kane fires back and the two men are going punch for punch until Kane hits a knee to the gut of the Undertaker. Kane then hits a punch right to the forehead of the Undertaker that takes him down to one knee. Kane then tramples the Undertaker with a kick right to the face that takes him all the way down.

Tazz: It's on Cole, it's on! The two brothers are gonna kick the hell out of each other.

Michael Cole: But Why Tazz? I thought they resolved this issue a long time ago.

Tazz: Come on Cole, does it like they resolved it?

Kane picks the Undertaker up to his feet. Kane cackles at the Undertaker before rearing back and hitting him with a Throat Thrust. Undertaker gets knocked backwards with the throat thrust, and Kane follows it up with punches that keep pushing the big man back further and further until he is up near the Titan Tron and the Buried Alive Grave.

Michael Cole: And the two brawling brothers are getting closer and closer to the spot that will be either Vince McMahon, or The Undertaker's final resting place.

Tazz: Cole, you've gotta hand it to McMahon. He knew he couldn't hack it with Da Undertaka, so he got help from someone who has proved time and time again that he can go toe to toe, eye to eye, goozle to goozle with the Undertaker.

Kane stops hitting Undertaker when they are right by the Dirt Pit that Undertaker or Vince will soon be buried in. Kane grabs Undertaker around the throat to chokeslam him into the grave! But then all of a sudden the sound of squeaking wheels is heard, then there's silence, followed by an ambulance driving out onto the ramp! Shane McMahon is driving the ambulance! Shane lowers the sunroof on the ambulance (shutup, ambulances have sunroofs.) Kane lets go of Undertaker's throat, grabs him by the hair and chucks him into the big dirt mound.

Tazz: What the hell happened? I think this paramedic made a wrong turn somewhere.

Michael Cole: That's no paramedic, that's Shane McMahon. And Shane has a big Ambulance Match with Kane scheduled for later tonight.

Tazz: I don't think Shane wants to wait till later tonight for their Ambulance match.

Shane gets out onto the hood of the ambulance, takes a running start and then dives at Kane and tackles him down to the ground. Shane is on top of Kane and leveling him with big angry punches. After a flurry of punches Shane gets up and waits for Kane to get to his feet. When Kane does get to his feet, Shane grabs Kane's arm and whips him into the side of the ambulance. Shane walks over to Kane and grabs him by the back of the neck. Shane slams Kane face first into the side of the ambulance. Then Shane takes Kane to the drivers side door of the ambulance. Shane goes to ram Kane's head through the window! But Kane managed to put on the breaks. Kane reverses it and grabs Shane by the hair. Kane bashes Shane face first through the glass driver's side window! Shane is now busted wide open!

Michael Cole: Shane's face just shattered the window. And now Shane is bleeding just as badly as his father is.

Tazz: Don't count Vince out just yet Cole, these McMahon's are fighters. Well, at least Vince is.

Shane's head is sticking through the glass window. Kane reaches in and grabs Shane by the hair. He pulls Shane out of the window and slams him head first into the side of the ambulance. Kane swings open the door of the ambulance, and then slams Shane into the driver's seat of the ambulance. Shane tries to regain his wits by leaning up against the drivers seat. Kane grabs the door and is about to slam it closed on Shane when the Undertaker comes up from behind Kane and cracks him in the back with a shovel!

Michael Cole: If The Undertaker didn't just belt Kane over the head with that shovel, he could have just knocked Shane's head clear off his neck.

Tazz: The Undertaker may have just saved Shane's life. For real Cole.

Kane stumbles forward holding his back. The Undertaker rams Kane face first into the side of the Ambulance, and then turns Kane around so that he is facing him. Undertaker then grabs Kane around the throat and starts choking the life out of him against the Ambulance. Undertaker then throws a knee into the stomach of Kane. Taker lets go of Kane's throat, and Kane hunches over. Taker then drops Kane with a DDT right square on the concrete! Undertaker then walks over to Shane and starts to help him up to his feet so that he could get Kane on the stretcher and load him into the Ambulance. Shane goes to open up the back of the ambulance but the door swings open and it's Vince McMahon!

Michael Cole: What the hell? Through all the commotion, Vince McMahon must have just snuck into the ambulance.

Tazz: I dunno Cole, this still might not be a good move on Vince's part. Cuz Kane is out cold after that DDT from the Taka. Vince is going out there against both The Undataka and his son Shane.

Vince swings the door open right into the face of his son. Shane's blood stains the door of the ambulance, and Shane himself falls down holding his head. Undertaker sees Vince in the Ambulance and stomps over to him. Vince sees him and jumps out of the back of the ambulance with an Oxygen Tank in hand! Vince slams the Oxygen Tank down across the head of the Undertaker. There is an insanely loud PING sound that we hear after this shot with the Tank. Undertaker is now bleeding from his head, as all four men are down on the concrete near the Buried Alive Grave and the Ambulance.

Michael Cole: An oxygen tank!

Tazz: Way to put that ambulance to good use Vince.

Michael Cole: He just took out two men using the ambulance, but Vince too is spent.

After a few seconds Kane gets up to his feet. He sees the bloody Undertaker, and he immediately smiles. Kane walks over to his brother and lifts him up to his feet. Kane backs Undertaker up near the big dirt mound, and then grabs the Undertaker by the throat. Kane lifts up Undertaker and then chokeslams him against the dirt mound! Undertaker slumps down against the dirt mound. Kane picks up the Undertaker again, and grabs him by the hair. Kane drags Undertaker by the hair to the grave. Kane, using Taker's hair, just tosses him down into the grave! Kane then goes and grabs the shovel, and starts shoveling dirt into the grave, right on top of the Undertaker. After a minute of shoveling the camera focuses in on the grave. They show the dirt fully covering the Undertaker, but then the Undertaker sits up!

Michael Cole: The Undertaker just sat up. The Dead Man's hopes are still alive.

Tazz: So the Dead Man is still alive? What are you some kind of idiot Cole?

The Undertaker gets to his feet, and grabs Kane's leg as he is shoveling dirt. Kane turns around, and his eyes widen as he sees the Undertaker on his feet. But Kane comes back to his senses and belts the Undertaker over the head with the shovel! The shovel breaks over the Undertaker's head! Taker falls right back down in the grave, but this time Kane follows him right down into his grave. Kane picks Undertaker up to his feet, and lifts him up for the Tombstone! He hits it! Kane Tombstoned the Undertaker right into his own grave! This is it for the Undertaker! Kane gets up and gets out of the grave. He doesn't have a shovel anymore so he can't help Vince win the match.

Tazz: The Undertaka is done! That Tombstone just ended all hopes of suhvival for the Undataka.

Michael Cole: Not quite yet Tazz. The shovel is broken, so Kane and Vince can't bury the Undertaker.

Tazz: They better come up with something to get that dirt into the grave. Kick it in, push it in, Blow it in... Whatever, just get it done.

Kane then puts on a sinister smile, and hops into the Ambulance. Kane backs the ambulance up a little bit, before driving it right into the mound of dirt, knocking a bunch of dirt right into the grave! Kane does this four more times until the grave is covered with the Undertaker inside of it. Vince McMahon has won the Buried Alive Match with Kane's help!

Michael Cole: Kane just drove that ambulance into the pile of dirt, fully covering the Undertaker. The Undertaker is done. He has lost this Buried Alive Match.

Tazz: Wait, that wasn't a match Cole. That was four guys kicking the hell out of each otha, and it aint over just yet.

Kane gets out of the ambulance and then goes to look for Shane. He starts calling out his name, but Kane sees him when he walks around to the other side of the Ambulance. He sees Shane standing there waiting for him with a stretcher. Shane rams the stretcher right into the gut of Kane. Shane backs up and rams it into him again. Shane hunches over from exhaustion before walking near Kane and Super Kicking him right in the face taking the big man down, and down hard.

Michael Cole: That was just a straight kick to the face of Kane.

Tazz: These guys absolutely hate each otha. And yanno what, I think I'd want to do the same thing to a guy that attacked my motha the way that Kane did.

Shane then climbs into the front of the ambulance. Once again he goes through the sunroof of the ambulance and climbs out on to the roof. Shane steps to the edge of the Ambulance and looks down at Kane. Shane does the sign of the cross and then leaps off the ambulance and connects on Kane with the Shooting Star Press on the concrete floor!

Tazz: Holy crap Cole, Shane just hit a Shooting Star Press onto Kane.

Michael Cole: He just risked life and limb to inflict pain on his adversary by leaping off of that Ambulance.

Tazz: Yeah, but I dunno if that was such a good idea. I mean the guy did just jump off of a damn ambulance. That had to hurt him just as much as it hurt Kane, if not more.

Shane is down and hurt, and he may have done more damage to himself than he did to Kane. After about 45 seconds of Kane and Shane being down, both men start to make their way up to their feet. Kane is up first and puts a boot right to the back of Shane to take him right back down. Kane picks up Shane and then battering rams him head first into the ambulance, leaving more of Shane's blood on the ambulance. Kane lifts Shane back up to his feet and lays him on top of the stretcher.

Michael Cole: This could be it for Shane. If Kane buckles Shane into the stretcher and loads him into the Ambulance, then Kane will be the winner.

Tazz: Yeah, Cole that's the whole point of a Stretcher match.

Kane looks around menacingly before cackling again. Kane pushes the Stretcher off of the stage and to the concrete floor! But Shane manages to get off of the stretcher just in time. Shane is up on his feet, and he charges at Kane. However, before he could do anything to Kane, Vince trips up Shane. Shane trips forward and falls right into a goozle from Kane. Kane walks Shane to the end of the ramp, before lifting him up over his head and CHOKESLAMMING HIM OFF THE END OF THE RAMP AND RIGHT ONTO THE STRETCHER! The stretcher practically gives way to the impact of Shane being thrown onto it. Kane and Vince both laugh to each other until Kane lowers himself down off the ramp to where Shane is lying motionless on the nearly broken in half stretcher.

Michael Cole: Enough already! Kane just chokeslammed Shane McMahon off of the stage and onto the stretcher! Someone stop this.

Tazz: Why Cole? You don't think that Shane McMahon knew what he was getting himself into when he signed the contract for this match? We all know that Kane can be a sadistic son of a bitch. It's Shane's own fault for agreeing to this match.

Kane buckles Shane into the stretcher and then he grabs the stretcher and picks it up high before throwing the stretcher with Shane on it, right back up onto the stage! Shane lands face first with all of his weight, and the stretcher's weight landing right on him. Kane then climbs back up onto the ramp, picks the stretcher up and loads Shane into the ambulance to win the match!

Kane defeats Shane McMahon in an Ambulance Match

The Undertaker defeats Vince McMahon in a Buried Alive Match

Michael Cole: Mercifully it is over. Kane has defeated Shane McMahon in a bloody Ambulance match.

Tazz: That was a real pier six brawl Cole. All four of these guys gave it their all, and in the end Vince McMahon and Kane walked away the winners.

Michael Cole: But did they have to be so bru...

Tazz: Shutup Cole, there are no Disqualifications in an Ambulance Match or a Buried Alive Match, so technically, these guys were following the rules. And that's all there is to it. Now we got anotha match comin up. This one is for tha Tag Team Titles. Take it away Tony Chimel.

74

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1/4*

The Basham Brothers vs The World's Greatest Tag Team Period vs Los Guerreros

Triple Threat Match For The WWE Tag Team Titles

Tony Chimel: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is a Triple Threat match for the WWE Tag Team Titles. Introducing first, from Columbus Ohio, weighing in at a total combined weight of two hundred and ninety two pounds... they are the current WWE Tag Team Champions The Basham Brothers, Danny and Doug Basham.

Danny, Doug and Shaniqua step out onto the ramp way. Danny and Doug are both wearing tight leather pants, while Shaniqua is wearing her dominatrix gear. The two men stop, but Shaniqua keeps walking. She turns around and motions with her whip for them to get into the ring. The three get in the ring and wait for their opponents.

We Lie, We Cheat, We Steal is heard playing on the PA System.

Tony Chimel: And, their opponents come to us from El Paso, Texas, and weigh in at a combined weight of four hundred and thirty pounds. They are Eddie, and Chavo... Los Guerreros.

Out come Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, both wearing lie, cheat and steal shirts. and blue pants with Eddie's saying Latino Heat down the sides. They seem to be all business tonight, because they run down to the ring and climb up onto adjacent turnbuckles where they do the belt motion around their waists saying that they want the Tag Team Titles.

Next comes the World's Greatest Tag Team's music.

Tony Chimel: Also competing in this match tonight, weighing in at Four Hundred and Eighty Seven Pounds is The World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.

Charlie and Shelton come down to the ring wearing their burgundy singlets. They are talking to each other about strategy and pointing fingers at their opponents every step of the way.

We’re going to have Chavo Guerrero to start us off with Charlie Haas. Haas and Guerrero lock up and Haas takes Guerrero down to the mat with a headlock. Guerrero reverses it and scoots behind Haas into a hammerlock. Both men come back to a vertical base and Haas swings his free right arm round and connects with three solid elbows to the head of Chavo Guerrero and Guerrero breaks the hold. Haas with a single leg takedown but Chavo rolls over and Haas is sent hurtling to the ropes. Haas rebounds and is caught with a drop-toe hold from Guerrero. Guerrero slides into a front facelock on the mat and Haas reaches for the ropes, but is too far away. Haas powers upwards and Guerrero brings the hold to a vertical base. Haas blocks an attempt at a Northern Lights from Chavo and lifts Guerrero into the air. Chavo kicks frantically, counters the momentum and brings Haas down on his head with a DDT! Chavo pulls Haas up, but Haas crawls through the legs and makes the desperate tag to Danny Basham.

Michael Cole: After a short feeling out process, Chavo Guerrero proved to be too much for Haas in the early goings.

Tazz: No doubt Cole, Chavo just dropped him on his head out of nowhere. I wasn't expecting that to happen.

Danny Basham tries to protest but is pulled over the top into the ring by Chavo. Danny crawls across the ring and slides out the other side of the ring but he’s caught by Eddie and rolled back into the ring, his pleads for mercy are falling on deaf ears. Chavo grabs Danny and hooks the head, delivering a snap suplex and he rolls into a cover. ONE... TWO… Doug breaks up the count at two. Chavo knocks Doug to the floor as he exits the ring and he’s caught from behind with a roll-up from Danny! ONE.......TWO…Chavo kicks out! Danny and Chavo both get to their feet, Chavo ducks a clothesline from Danny but goes tumbling over the top to the floor! Doug pulled the top rope down and Chavo landed hard! Doug starts to put the boots to Chavo as Danny occupies Eddie with some harsh words and some evil taunts. Chavo is dragged to his feet and rolled into the ring and Danny tags in Doug. The Bashams pull Chavo up and plant him with a double suplex and Doug rolls into the cover. ONE... TWO… Chavo kicks out at two again.

Tazz: Danny Basham was running away like a little girl at first, but now that his brother's in there with him he seems to be taking control.

Michael Cole: Whatever you say Tazz. Anybody can be a good competitor when their double teaming someone else.

Danny exits the ring as Doug brings Chavo to his feet. Doug slams Chavo to the mat and climbs to the second rope on the inside. Doug comes down but Chavo raises his boot and catches Doug Basham square in the jaw! Doug bounces off and crashes to the canvas allowing Chavo the chance to make the tag. Chavo rolls onto his stomach and starts to crawl towards his Uncle Eddie. The crowd starts to cheer louder and louder with every inch Chavo advances towards making the tag, but his progress is halted as Doug grabs the ankle of Chavo. Chavo kicks him off but Doug grabs the other ankle and holds on tight. Chavo pushes onto himself to all fours and starts to hop on his left leg reaching for the tag to Uncle Eddie. Eddie has the arm out ready for the tag but Doug Basham has a vice-grip on the left leg. Chavo edges closer to the corner but opposite Danny Basham has distracted the referee by climbing into the ring. Chavo makes the tag to his uncle and here comes Eddie Guerrero! Eddie drops Doug Basham to the mat with a punch and Basham bounces back up. Eddie backs Doug into the corner and starts to unleash a wave of fury but the referee is trying to get Eddie out of the ring. The referee didn’t see the tag between Chavo and Eddie! Eddie is made to leave the ring as Doug and Danny switch places behind the referees back.

Michael Cole: Is Brian Hebner blind? How did he not see that tag?

Tazz: Laughing He didn't see the tag between the Guerrero's, AND he didn't notice the Basham's switching places.

Danny Basham pulls Chavo back into the ring and goes for an immediate cover. ONE… TWO… Eddie breaks up the count at two. Danny complains about Eddie breaking the rules which earns major heat from the crowd. Danny whips Chavo to the one neutral corner and charges in, but Chavo gets a boot up and the jaw of Danny Basham is caught hard. Basham stumbles back and Chavo swings round into a crucifix pin. Can Chavo keep the shoulders down? ONE... TW-Danny Basham kicks out before the two. Danny gets to his feet first and drags Chavo over to the corner where his brother Doug is waiting. Danny with a punch to the stomach and Chavo falls back into the corner. Danny reaches out to tag in Doug but a high kick from Chavo kicks away the arm and Chavo scoots through the legs of Danny towards Eddie Guerrero! Danny makes a desperate dive and gets one hand to the foot of Chavo. Again Chavo gets onto all fours but this time manages to roll forward sending Danny Basham flying through the ropes to the outside. Doug Basham rushes into the ring but Chavo sends him to the outside too with a monkey flip. Chavo makes the tag to his Uncle Eddie! Eddie Guerrero vaults over the top rope into the ring but from behind come Haas and Benjamin knocking the Guerreros down to the canvas. The referee tries to get the WGTT out of the ring which gives the Bashams time to go for a Double Spinebuster on Eddie Guerrero, but Guerrero counters it into a Double Downward Spiral! Guerrero rolls over onto a cover on both Bashams! ONE... TWO… Both Bashams get a shoulder up.

Michael Cole: Karma just caught up to the Bashams.

Tazz: No doubt Cole. That double team move just backfired on them.

Eddie pulls Danny Basham to his feet as Doug rolls from the ring. Eddie hits a vertical suplex and rolls the hips through to his feet again. Eddie with a second suplex and he rolls the hips again. Eddie Guerrero with a third suplex and Danny Basham is out of it. On the outside Doug Basham and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are going at it, while the WGTT look on. Eddie screams “Oralé vato!” to the crowd who shout their encouragement back and Eddie climbs to the top rope. Eddie looks to the heavens before taking to the air, but Shelton Benjamin slapped Eddie on the back as he took flight and that counts as a legal tag! Eddie comes down with the Frog Splash across Danny Basham! Eddie crawls back for the cover but Charlie Haas grabs the ankles of Eddie Guerrero and pulls him to the outside. Shelton Benjamin dashes into the ring and makes the cover on Danny Basham. ONE... - Chavo Guerrero knocks down Doug Basham - TWO... – Chavo tries to get into the ring but he’s stopped by Charlie Haas - ...THREE!!! The World’s Greatest Tag Team steal a victory in a match where they did virtually nothing!

Michael Cole: The World's Greatest Tag Team just stole the Tag Team Titles! They barely participated in this match but they walk away with the Tag Titles.

Tazz: Say it Cole, it's not fair. Why aint it fair? Sometimes it pays to be stronguh then you're opponent, and sometimes it pays to just be smartuh. Tonight The World's Greatest Tag Team was the smartest team in the match and because of that they walked away the Tag Team Champions.

The World's Greatest Tag Team defeat The Basham Brothers, and Los Guerrero's To Become the NEW Tag Team Champions

80

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***1/4

We now switch commentary teams from Michael Cole and Tazz to Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross.

Jim Ross: Hello folks, Jerry the King Lawler and I are going to take over for this Raw portion of the show.

Jerry Lawler: Yes we are JR, and what a night it's been so far. That pesky Shane McMahon is never going to cause another problem on Raw again after that beating he took from the Big Red Machine.

Jim Ross: I think that Shane is a fine young man, but you maybe right about not seeing him again, at least for a while. Anyway, now Molly Holly will be defending her Women's Title against the newly returned Lita.

Jerry Lawler: YAY, just in time for the puppies.

Jim Ross: Yes, King, Puppies. Lita is going to look to make us Two for Two as far as Title changes go tonight, as the Smackdown Tag Team Titles have already changed hands.

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Molly Holly vs Lita

No Disqualification Match For The Women's Title

Lillian Garcia: Introducing first, from Forrest Lake, Minnesota, she is the WWE Women's Champion... Molly Holly!

Molly Holly walks out to the ring with the Women's Title around her waist. When she gets into the ring, she climbs up onto the turnbuckle and holds the title up to show it off to the crowd.

Lovepassionanaldingleberryfurypassionsex, otherwise known as Lita's entrance music plays.

Lillian Garcia: And her opponent, and Number One Contender for the Women's Title, hailing from Sanford, North Carolina... She is Lita!

Lita does her spazmatic dancing routine down to ringside. She is wearing a black fishnet shirt, with a pink tanktop underneath it. She also has on her short cargo shorts, with a visible bright pink thong.

Lita stands at ringside and stares at Molly. As Lita makes her way under the rope she never takes her eyes off Molly. She gets into the ring and gets right up in Molly’s face. Molly continues staring at Lita very cockily before hauling off and slapping her right in the face. Lita places her hand on her cheek and gently rubs her cheek. Then she decks Molly right in the face with a hard right hand. She falls right down on her ass. Lita pounces on top of Molly and starts pounding her head into the ground. Lita pounds Molly's head right into the mat ten times. Lita gets off of Molly and runs towards the ropes, then runs back to Molly and drops a hard leg drop right onto her neck. Lita gets up and grabs Molly by the hair and starts talking trash to her about all the recent attacks. Molly then gets some strength and knees Lita in the stomach, not once, but twice! Molly then runs towards to the ropes and comes back at Lita with a hard clothesline. Lita gets back up to her feet only to be slammed down with another clothesline. Lita gets right back up once more and gets a hard dropkick right to the face! Molly then points to the crowd and gets a few jeers. Lita takes advantage of Molly's posing and rolls her up with a School Girl. One...

Jim Ross: Lita could have her here!

Jerry Lawler: No no no!

Jim Ross: When did you become such a Molly fan?

Jerry Lawler: I'm not, but if she loses now, then I didn't get to see a sufficient amount of puppies.

Molly kicked out quickly. Then both Lita and Molly get up and run at each other. Molly is going for a clothesline, but Lita ducks. Molly turns around and dodges an attempt a Dropkick from Lita. Molly starts kicking Lita in the ribs. She then grabs both of Lita's legs and puts her into a Boston Crab. Molly has the move locked in nice and tight as Lita screams out in pain because her muscles are being worked against her. Lita starts going for the ropes and slowly, but surely she inches to them. Molly tries to pull her away from the ropes, but Lita still manages to get to them. Molly gets off, and Lita still holds her back in agony. Molly grabs Lita by the hair and lifts her to her feet. She then Irish whips Lita into the corner. She then runs over and spears her right in the corner. Lita holds her stomach. Molly hoists Lita up onto the top of the turnbuckle and sets her up for a move. Molly attempts to Superplex Lita, but Lita fights it off at first! Molly unhooks herself, and then blasts Lita in the face with a forearm. Molly then hooks up Lita again and this time, the Superplex connects! Molly looks down and sees that Lita’s out, or so she thinks. Molly slides outside the ring to take advantage of the No Disqualification stipulation. Molly then lifts up the ring apron and starts searching for some sort of weapon that will hurt Lita. She pulls out a trash can lid, a fire extinguisher, a chair, and a kendo stick. But Molly nods her head no to all of these equalizers. All of a sudden her eyes light up. She pulls out a lead pipe. She nods in approval. She slides into the ring and stands over Lita. The referee tries to stop Molly, even though Molly can't be disqualified, but she doesn’t listen. She raises the pipe over her head, about to hit Lita when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Lita kicks the pipe out of Molly’s hand from a lying position. She then grabs Molly’s legs and sweeps her onto the ground. Lita then rolls over onto Molly and starts smacking her in the face. Each slap gets harder and sounds like it stings even more than the previous. After about six smacks, give or take a couple, Lita gets off Molly and rises to her feet.

Jim Ross: Molly was this close to beating Lita's face in with that lead pipe, but Lita's educated feet helped prevent that.

Jerry Lawler: Forget about her face, I just didn't want her puppies to get hurt.

She then grabs both of Molly’s legs and walks backwards into a corner. She then slingshots Molly into the corner, face first. Molly falls right back down onto her back. She then grabs Molly by the hair and forces her to her feet. She grapples Molly and Irish whips her into the corner directly opposite from where they are standing. Lita runs to the corner and goes to Avalanche Molly but Molly jumps up and over Lita, turns her around and starts putting some hard forearms right to the face of Lita. She then Irish whips Lita. As Lita begins coming back Molly gets a Backbreaker on Lita. Lita falls right down once Molly lets go of her. Molly then signals for the Molly Go Round. She runs to the nearest turnbuckle, and climbs right to the top. She points to the crowd and gets booed to hell for beating on one of their favorite girls. Lita slowly staggers to her feet, as Molly jumps off the top rope looking for the Molly-Go-Round! It connects! Molly reaches backwards and grabs the rear leg. One... Two... Lita's leg was underneath the bottom rope! Poor ring positioning gives Lita a second chance.

Jim Ross: Lita just caught a lucky break. It's not lucky that a veteran like Molly will make a rookie mistake like that. That was very poor real positioning.

Jerry Lawler: Yeah, Maybe I should show Molly what positions reall work for Lita.

Jim Ross: Enough King.

She gets up, completely shocked that she made such a dumb mistake. She starts arguing with the referee by saying that it was his fault or something equally as asinine. As she is fighting with the ref, Lita slowly makes her way up to her feet. She goes up from behind and gets a headlock on Molly. She then proceeds to hit a bulldog. Lita gets up and picks up Molly. Lita throws her into the corner. She then does her little gyrating/seizure dance before running at Molly in the corner and Monkey Flipping her right back into the middle of the ring. Lita picks up Molly again and sets her up on the top turnbuckle. Lita climbs up to the top turnbuckle as well, and delivers a Frankensteiner to Molly! Lita regroups after the impact and then covers Molly. One... Two... Molly just barely kicked out.

Jim Ross: Lita was just a second away from leaving Dallas as the new Women's Champion, after that Frankensteiner.

Jerry Lawler: I'd let Lita wrap her legs around my head any time.

Lita can’t believe that Molly kicked out. She picks up Molly and sets her up for the Twist of Fate. She gets her set up for it but Molly reverses it into a desperation neckbreaker of her own. Both ladies are down. The ref begins to count. One… Two… Three ... Four... Five... Molly starts to stir Six…Seven… Lita kips up. Molly is on her feet. She grabs Molly by her hair and lunges her across the ring with a hair toss! You can just see the hatred that Lita has for Molly. She walks over to a fallen Molly and starts kicking her furiously while she screams at her. She viciously grabs Molly by the hair and lifts her to her feet. She then hits her in the stomach multiple times and then bitch slaps her across the face. Molly falls to the ground. Lita then grabs Molly's legs looking to put her in a Boston Crab, like Molly did to her before. However, Molly won't turn. Molly then grabs Lita's face and head butts her on the fore head. Lita holds her forehead. Molly uses her leg strength to flip her legs up and under Lita’s arms and pushes her into a sunset flip. One... Molly grabs the tights, exposing even more of Lita's pink thong. Two... Kickout!

Jim Ross: A great counter move by Molly Holly almost got the pin on Lita, but she kicked out at the last possible moment.

Lita kicks out! Molly shoves Lita off of her and struggles up to her feet. Molly is the first diva to get to her feet. She runs at Lita and gives her a Crossbody. Molly then mounts Lita. She pounds on Lita’s face. She rolls off of Lita and back to her feet. She positions Lita for a top rope maneuver. Molly slowly climbs each rope. Molly goes to push off for a Moonsault. Lita rolls out of the way though, and Molly sees this. Molly back flips off the top rope anyways and lands on her feet. Molly loses her balance a bit and stumbles backwards. Lita charges in at Molly, but Molly back body drops Lita over the top rope! Lita manages to land on the ring apron, and attempts to punch Molly. Molly ducks the punch, and shoulderbutts Lita in the ribs. Molly then Guillotines Lita on the top rope, causing Lita to fall off the apron and onto the arena floor. Molly hops out of the ring and lifts Lita up to her feet. Molly lifts up Lita before dropping her face first against the ring apron. Lita is too dazed to fall over, so Molly backs her up against the barricade, before Russian Leg Sweeping her into the Barricade. Lita is laying on the ground holding her head while Molly goes back underneath the ring. She seems to be looking for something, but she can't find it. Lita starts to stir on the ground, and somehow finds herself with the fire extinguisher that Molly took out before. Eventually Molly finds her garbage can, and she turns around to hit Lita with it... But Lita is back on her feet and sprays Molly in the face with the fire extinguisher. Molly spins around looking bewildered, and blinded, when Lita kicks her in the gut. Molly drops the trash can, and Lita DDT's Molly right onto the garbage can!

Jim Ross: And the No Disqualification Rules are really starting to come into effect here, as Molly's "hardcore plans" for Lita went awry. Lita dropped Molly face first onto that garbage can.

Jerry Lawler: I'm just happy that my Hardcore Plans with Lita are still on.

Lita takes a few seconds to regroup on the outside before getting up, and pulling Molly to her feet. Lita rolls Molly back into the ring, and follows her back in. Lita quickly covers Molly and hooks the rear leg. But the referee isn't counting because the women are in Ring Two. Lita looks pissed off, but picks Molly up to her feet. Lita is quick to get back on offense by picking Molly up and Scoop Slamming her over the top rope and back into Ring One. Lita takes her time climbing to the top rope, and looks like she's setting up for the Moonsault! But Molly gets up, runs towards the corner and shoves Lita right off the top rope. Lita goes crashing off the top rope and into the barricade and ringside nearly taking out the first row of fans with her. Molly climbs out of the ring, and walks over to where Lita is attempting to pull herself to her feet. Molly relentlessly starts booting Lita all over the place while Lita is just defenseless. Molly yanks Lita up to her feet, and Snap Suplexes Lita right onto the arena floor. Molly stands over Lita taunting her for a few seconds before lifting her up to her feet. Molly sets Lita up for another Snap Suplex... But then Molly lets out a big smile. Molly pushes Lita off to the side, and bends down. Molly is lifting up the protective mats, uncovering the concrete floor! After Molly lifts up the mat, she turns around to grab Lita, but Lita charges at her and rams her back first into the ring apron. Lita then picks up the crumpled up garbage can and throws it at Molly! Molly ducks the can, and it flies right into the ring. Lita charges in at Molly again, but this time Molly picks her up and drops her jaw first on the ring apron. Molly picks Lita up and gets back onto the exposed concrete. Molly puts Lita's head in her crotch before motioning that it's over. Molly lifts Lita and PILEDRIVES HER ONTO THE CONCRETE. Molly stays in the sitting position for a while just staring at Lita and laughing at her. Molly then lifts the limp Lita up to her feet and rolls her into the ring. Molly places just one foot on Lita's chest, and by chest I mean titties, and the ref starts to count. One... Two... Three.

Jim Ross: That is sickening! She could have broken the surgically repaired neck of Lita!

Jerry Lawler: JR, this isn't a joking matter anymore. I'm speechless.

Jim Ross: That is downright dispicable, and it's all Eric Bischoff's fault. He's the one who made this a No Disqualification Match.

Jerry Lawler: Well this is the last night that we're going to have to deal with Eric Bischoff, because tonight after our War Games Match, Eric Bischoff will be out of a job.

Molly Holly defeats Lita to Retain Her Women's Title

76

80

68

*1/2

They switch announcers again.

Michael Cole: We're back for more of Smackdown's part of the show. But wow Tazz, after that last display by Molly Holly, I'm kind of glad that our girls on Smackdown don't have to mix it up with the Raw girls.

Tazz: No doubt Cole, that Molly is vicious. She could have just paralyzed Lita. But enough about them, because now we've got a big Ultimate Survivor's Match for the Cruiserweight Title.

Michael Cole: The rules of this match are that there is ten minutes on the clock. In the ten minutes, the current Cruiserweight Champion can be pinned as often as possible. The person who is Cruiserweight Champion at the end of the ten minutes leaves Dallas as the Cruiserweight Champion, and the Ultimate Survivor.

Tajiri vs Rey Mysterio vs Ultimo Dragon vs Jamie Noble

Ultimate Survivors Match For The Cruiserweight Title

There are ten minutes on the clock. The match starts out with Tajiri, Noble, Mysterio and Dragon all in their respective corners. Tajiri and Dragon are in opposite corners. These two lock eyes, and start walking towards each other. Tajiri goes to lock up with Dragon, but from behind Mysterio dropkicks Tajiri. Tajiri stumbles forward straight into a stiff kick to the chops by Dragon. Noble, Mysterio and Dragon share a laugh at Tajiri. Then the three faces shake hands with each other before squaring off. Mysterio and Noble lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Mysterio whips Noble off into the ropes. On the rebound, Mysterio leapfrogs over Noble. Noble is about to run into Dragon. Dragon drops down onto his stomach, and Noble steps over him. Noble bounces back again, but this time Dragon leap frogs over him and Mysterio drops onto his stomach. But instead of running into the ropes again, Noble eats a big sidekick from Tajiri. Dragon charges at Tajiri, and Tajiri counters with a Japanese Arm Drag. Dragon gets up and charges at Tajiri. Tajiri ducks down and launches Dragon into the air over his head. Mysterio is up just in time for Dragon to hit him with a flying headscissors on his way down. Tajiri throws his arms into the air in celebration when Jamie Noble rolls him up from behind. One... Two... Three.

Tazz: Wow Cole, just like that we have a new cruiserweight champion.

Michael Cole: Jamie Noble is the cruiserweight champion, with almost eight minutes left.

Jamie Noble is the new cruiserweight champion with 7:58 left in the match. Tajiri gets up and looks furious. He shoves Noble into the ropes, and then chops him in the chest. From behind, Dragon shoves Tajiri off to the side and takes his turn at chopping Noble. Then Rey comes up from behind Dragon and hits him with a Russian Leg Sweep. Rey gets up and then he takes his turn at chopping Jamie Noble. Noble's chest is reddening after every chop, and they finally stop when Tajiri blindsides Mysterio with a kick to the lower back. Tajiri then kicks Mysterio in the back of the leg twice until Mysterio drops down to his knees. Tajiri goes for the Kick of Death, but Mysterio ducks it. Mysterio lifts his head back up and he gets drilled with a dropkick right to the face from Jamie Noble. Ultimo and Tajiri get right to work on Rey. They lift him up to his feet and whip him into the ropes, and on the rebound Ultimo and Tajiri hit a Double Hip Toss, but they hold him in the air and turn it into a Double Powerbomb.

Michael Cole: Ultimo Dragon and Tajiri just worked together to Powerbomb Rey Mysterio. But why? Ultimo and Rey have become friends as of late, while Tajiri and Ultimo haven't seen eye to eye at all.

Tazz: Well Cole, if you had half a brain you'd know that Ultimo is just doing the smart thing. He knows that for him to pin Jamie Noble he's going to need to weaken Rey Mysterio.

Ultimo and Tajiri then get up and look at Jamie Noble standing near them with a smile on their face. Tajiri and Ultimo then hit a Double Sidekick right to the face of Noble. Then they look at each other and both throw kicks. Tajiri and Ultimo kick each other right in the face, and fall down to the mat. All four men are down. Rey and Ultimo are the first two up to their feet. Rey and Ultimo start slugging it out. Ultimo eventually gets the upperhand and whips Rey into the ropes. Ultimo catches Rey with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Ultimo goes to cover Rey, but Rey isn't the champ so the ref doesn't count. Ultimo gets up and is immediately taken down when Noble runs at him and hits him with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Noble gets up and looks at his watch like he is just counting down the time, when Tajiri sweeps out his legs from underneath of him. Tajiri goes for a quick cover on Noble. One... Two... Thr.. The count is broken up when Rey Mysterio Drops The Dime from the top rope. Tajiri sees it coming and moves out of the way. Rey connects with Noble's neck. Rey stays there in a pinning combination.

Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio just dropped the dime on Jamie Noble.

Tazz: Yeah Cole that leg drop could be enough to put Noble away.

One... Two... This pin is broken up when the Ultimo Dragon does an Asai Moonsault on to Noble, when Rey moves out of the way. Dragon stays in the pinning combination, as Tajiri crossbody's Rey near the ropes taking both men outside the ring.

Tazz: An Asai Moonsault from Ultimo! He might have him here.

One... Two... Three.

Michael Cole: Ultimo Dragon wins the Cruiserweight Title with three and a half minutes remaining in the match.

Tazz: These guys have to start to make a move or Ultimo Dragon is going to walk out of here Champion.

Ultimo gets out of the pinning position, while Tajiri Irish whips Rey into the barricade. Rey hits the steel hard. Tajiri follows up the whip with a succession of hard chops, punches and kicks to the chest, knees, and legs of Rey. When Tajiri finally stops Rey is out on his feet. Tajiri then goes over to where the spare chairs were and picks one up. Tajiri walks over to Mysterio and swings the chair at Mysterio's head. Mysterio ducks, and as the chair hit the barricade, dropkicks Tajiri in the knees. Tajiri falls face first onto the chair as it bangs against the barricade. Mysterio slides back in the ring to try and take the title off of Ultimo Dragon before the time limit runs out. Before Mysterio could get up to his feet, Dragon starts stomping on him. After many well placed stomps to the back, Dragon stomps on Mysterio's arms. Dragon then twists Mysterio around and locks him in the Mexican Surfboard!

Tazz: This is great strategy by Ultimo Dragon. Not only will keeping the Surfboard locked in hurt Mysterio, but it will also take valuable time off of the clock.

Ultimo kept the hold locked in just to take more time off of the clock. Noble finally got up and stomped on the arm of Dragon to break the hold. Noble picked up Ultimo and locked him in a double underhook. Noble went for his Tiger Driver, but Dragon countered out of it with a huge Spinning DDT which drove Noble to the mat. Dragon then started kicking Noble in the side to edge him out of the ring. Dragon then was pointing at Noble over the top rope, with his back turned to Mysterio. Mysterio snuck up behind Dragon and rolled him up with a School Boy. One... Two... Three.

Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio wins the title!

Tazz: Ultimo was too preoccupied with Noble, and it cost him when Rey rolled him up.

Rey Mysterio is the new cruiserweight Champion with 1:12 seconds left. Mysterio and Dragon both got up quickly, and Dragon was quickly on the offensive. Dragon ran over to Mysterio and chopped him right in the chest. Dragon kicked Mysterio in the back of the knee, and then went behind him. Ultimo grabbed Rey for the Asai DDT. He did the flip backwards, but he couldn't take Rey over. Instead, Ultimo rolled up Mysterio from behind. One... Two... Three.

Michael Cole: WIth a little bit less than a minute remaining, Ultimo Dragon wins back the Cruiserweight Title.

Ultimo Dragon is the champion with 47 seconds remaining in the match. Rey Mysterio kicked out a bit late from the pinfall, but when he did, Mysterio got up quickly, and walked over to the kneeling Dragon. Mysterio hit him with a Magistrale Cradle. One... Two... Three.

Tazz: Heh, nevermind I guess Cole. Cause Rey just won it right back.

Rey Mysterio wins the cruiserweight championship again and the clock has dropped to 39 seconds. Rey and Ultimo got up, and Ultimo got into a grapple straight away with Mysterio. Mysterio went to punch Ultimo, but Dragon ducked and went behind Mysterio. Dragon drilled Mysterio with a Bridging German Suplex. One... Two... Three.

Michael Cole: They keep trading the belt back and forth. There's only twenty five seconds left to go.

Dragon regained the cruiserweight championship with only 25 seconds left to go. After a few seconds Mysterio got right back up on his feet. Dragon gets right back on the offensive. He charges at Mysterio, but gets drop toe holded onto the middle rope. Mysterio bounces over to the other side of the ring, and comes back looking for the 619 on Dragon. But Tajiri is on the ring apron and he Green Mists Mysterio in the face, causing Mysterio to lose his grip on the rope and fall to the floor outside. Tajiri then rears back and hits the Kick of Death on Ultimo! Dragon falls back as Tajiri climbs through the ropes, and pulls Dragon into the middle of the ring. Tajiri covers Ultimo Dragon and hooks the far leg.

Tazz: There's ten seconds left. This could be Tajiri's last chance to regain the Cruiserweight Title!

One... Two... Three!

Tazz: And he does it! Tajiri will walk out of Survivor Series with the Cruiserweight Title!

Tajiri has regained his Cruiserweight Title with only 6 seconds remaining. Tajiri is standing in the corner waiting for the time to run out, when Jamie Noble charges in at him. Tajiri sees this coming and counters this with the Tarantula! The time clock ticks all the way to 0 with Tajiri having the Tarantula locked in on Jamie Noble.

Michael Cole: Tajiri played possum for a while, but he came back to win the match in the dying seconds.

Tazz: He let Rey and Ultimo wear themselves out and then BAM he went in for the kill.

79

71

88

The WWE Cruiserweight title has gained in image.

***1/2

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The announce team switches again.

Jim Ross: I've got to hand it to Smackdown. They've really established one hell of a cruiserweight division, and that match right there proved it. Them little guys went all out for ten minutes, and Tajiri somehow managed to walk out the Champion.

Jerry Lawler: Yeah, that was one hell of a match, but up next we've got another match from Raw.

Jim Ross: Yes, yes we do. We've got a four versus four Elimination Match with Evolution and Christopher Nowinski taking on three rookies with a ton of potential, in Garrison Cade, Mark Jindrak and Maven, and a bonafied legend, Shawn Michaels.

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Randy Orton, Batista, Ric Flair and Christopher Nowinski vs Shawn Michaels, Garrison Cade, Mark Jindrak and Maven

Four on Four Elimination Match

The match starts out with Ric Flair and Maven in the ring. Maven and Flair circle each other before Maven tries to lock up with Flair. Flair sidesteps Maven, struts off to the side and let's out a big WHOO. Flair turns his