WWE - November 2003

[Essa]

The diary is great, but I can't say I like Animal being back full-time.

I should rephrase that: I like it, but I can't see it happenning.

One last match as a tribute, sure.  But back in the business, full-time, at his age, without his long tine partner and best friend?  Just doesn't seem like something Joe Laurinatis would do.

←

[Essa]

Tough Enough Casting Call A Success!

From WWE.com

For those of you who missed it, The Tough Enough Casting Call aired last night on MTV. The show's trainers for this season, Al Snow, Chris Kanyon, Billy Kidman, and Gail Kim have narrowed the field down to sixteen people that will compete for two developmental contracts with the WWE's developmental facility at Ohio Valley Wrestling. Tune in next week at the regularly scheduled time of Thursday after Smackdown to watch the season premier of Tough Enough.

Tough Enough, A Sham?

From some smark site

We all knew that Tough Enough was never really legitmate, but the WWE has sunk to all new lows with this season's cast of characters. Let's just look at some of the people that the WWE will obviously be looking to exploit. There's the flamboyant gay man, Enrique Masteban. There's the horny, snooty, British, Nigel Fairweather Marshall. We've got Rodney Griffin, the only person on the show with any wrestling experience. The only catch to him is that he is thirty six years old and looking for one last run with a major promotion. Perhaps the most despicable casting decision was made on Hector Trazpeno, a man who in a diary session admitted to being an illegal immigrant. On the female side of the spectrum, things aren't quite as bad. Except for the fact that the only female that looks like she has any semblance of talent is Leslie Gorchesky, and she looks even worse than Chyna did. However, there is a Gothic girl that even ran the mile in her trench coat. Giving any of these rejects a contract will be a bad business decision. I can't wait for MTV to pull the plug on this garbage.

[Essa]

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Fantasy World Wrestling Entertainment

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You've all probably played some sort of fantasy sport before. Now is your chance to play Fantasy WWE! You'll make picks according to the following brackets, but before we get too far ahead, let me give you a little overview of the rules. If a wrestler of yours wins a singles match by pinfall or submission (or if the match is a stipulation match, like going through a table or grabbing a belt) then you will receive 3 points towards your score. If your wrestler loses by pinfall or submission (or if the match is a stipulation match) then you will receive a -1. If your wrestler wins a match by Disqualification or Countout then you will receive 2 points towards your score. If your wrestler loses a match by DQ or Countout then you will get a 0 towards your score. In a tag match, if your wrestler wins, AND makes the pin then he will receive 3 points. In a tag match, if your wrestler's PARTNER makes the pin, then he will receive 2 points. In a tag match if your wrestler is pinned, he will receive -1 points. In a tag match if your wrestler's partner is pinned, you will receive 0 points. In elimination style matches (Triangle matches, battle royals, royal rumbles), your wrestler will receive 2 points for every person that he eliminates. Your wrestler will not get any negative points in an Elimination match. In Triple Threat matches or Fatal Four Way Matches, the winner will receive 3 points, and only the person who gets pinned will receive -1 points. If your wrestler manages someone to a win they receive 2 points. If your wrestler manages someone to a loss then they lose 2 points. For the weapon that you pick, one point will be awarded per weapon shot. If your wrestler does not show up on Raw or Smackdown then you will receive a -1. You will not be penalized for not being on Heat or Velocity. If your wrestler wins a title there will be bonuses given to him. Winning the WWE World Heavyweight Title or WWE Undisputed Title will result in a + 10 on your score. However, if your wrestler loses the World Heavyweight Title or Undisputed Title, he will get -10 towards your score. If your wrestler wins the WWE World Tag Team or WWE Tag Team titles then he will receive a +7 on his score. If your wrestler loses the World Tag Team or Tag Team titles they will receive a -7 on your score. Finally, if your wrestler wins the WWE Women's Title or WWE Cruiserweight Title, they will get a +4 on their score. If they lose the Women's Title or the Cruiserweight Title they will get a -4 on their score. You will also gain or lose one point for every point of overness that your wrestler gains or loses. Those are the rules, and now here are the brackets. Choose one person from each bracket below, unless otherwise instructed.

RAW UPPER TIER

Choose One Person

Booker T - Over: 88

Chris Jericho - Over: 95

Goldberg - Over: 95

Kevin Nash - Over: 84

Ric Flair - Over: 92

Rob Van Dam - Over: 90

Shawn Michaels - Over: 94

Triple H - Over: 95

RAW MIDCARD

Choose TWO People

Al Snow - Over: 77

Batista - Over: 69

Bubba Ray Dudley - Over: 80

Christian - Over: 80

Christopher Nowinski - Over: 62

D'Von Dudley - Over: 79

Garrison Cade - Over: 47

Goldust - Over: 81

John Heidenreich - Over: 39

Lance Storm - Over: 78

Mark Jindrak - Over: 55

Maven - Over: 71

Randy Orton - Over: 78

Rene Dupree - Over: 65

Rico - Over: 71

Road Warrior Animal - Over: 79

Rob Conway - Over: 51

Rodney Mack - Over: 51

Rosey - Over: 65

Scott Steiner - Over: 84

Spike Dudley - Over: 65

Steven Richards - Over: 65

Sylvain Grenier - Over: 64

Test - Over: 75

The Hurricane - Over: 77

Tommy Dreamer - Over: 68

Val Venis - Over: 74

William Regal - Over: 78

RAW WOMEN & MANAGERS

Choose One

Eric Bischoff - Over: 92

Ivory - Over: 65

Jacqueline - Over: 55

Jazz - Over: 65

Jerry Lawler - Over: 76

Lita - Over: 83

Miss Jackie - Over: 65

Molly Holly - Over: 79

Stacy Keibler - Over: 85

Terri - Over: 60

Theodore Long - Over: 63

Trish Stratus - Over: 87

Victoria - Over: 71

RAW WEAPONS

Choose One From The Top List OR Two From The Bottom

LIST ONE

Ring Post

Stairs

Chair

Security Barrier

Table

Kendo Stick

LIST TWO

Announce Table

Title Belts

Exposed Turnbuckle

Other Belts (like Hogan's weightlifting belt)

Ring Bell

Trash Can Lid

Trash Can

Sign

"Match Weapons" (Ladder, Wire Mesh, Steel Cage choose one)

Any Item Not Specified On Either List (ring apron doesn't count)

SMACKDOWN UPPER TIER

Choose One

Big Show Over: 83

Brock Lesnar Over: 97

Chris Benoit Over: 89

Eddie Guerrero Over: 98

Edge Over: 88 INJURED

John Cena Over: 85

Kane Over: 90

Kurt Angle Over: 99

The Undertaker Over: 89

SMACKDOWN MIDCARD

Choose TWO

Akio - Over: 45

A-Train - Over: 72

Bill DeMott - Over: 60

Billy Gunn - Over: 70

Billy Kidman - Over: 64

Bradshaw - Over: 70

Charlie Haas - Over: 73

Chavo Guerrero - Over: 75

Chris Kanyon - Over: 75

Chuck Palumbo - Over: 66

Danny Basham - Over: 58

Doug Basham - Over: 62

Ernest Miller - Over: 71

Faarooq - Over: 64

Funaki - Over: 58

Hardcore Holly - Over: 66

Jamie Noble - Over: 62

Johnny Stamboli - Over: 62

Mark Henry - Over: 76

Matt Hardy - Over: 83

Matt Morgan - Over: 36

Nathan Jones - Over: 68

Nunzio - Over: 61

Orlando Jordan - Over: 45

Paul London - Over: 60

Rey Mysterio Jr - Over: 85

Rhyno - Over: 81

Rikishi - Over: 74

Sakoda - Over: 24

Scotty 2 Hotty - Over: 67

Sean O'Haire - Over: 72

Shannon Moore - Over: 63

Shelton Benjamin - Over: 74

Tajiri - Over: 81

Ultimo Dragon - Over: 75

Zach Gowen - Over: 60

SMACKDOWN WOMEN & MANAGERS

Choose One

Dawn Marie - Over: 71

Nidia - Over: 62

Paul Heyman - Over: 85

Sable - Over: 76

Shaniqua - Over: 52

Tazz - Over: 72

Torrie Wilson - Over: 75

SMACKDOWN WEAPONS

Choose One From The Top List OR Two From The Bottom

LIST ONE

Ring Post

Stairs

Chair

Security Barrier

Table

Kendo Stick

LIST TWO

Announce Table

Title Belts

Exposed Turnbuckle

Other Belts (like Hogan's weightlifting belt)

Ring Bell

Trash Can Lid

Trash Can

Sign

"Match Weapons" (Ladder, Wire Mesh, Steel Cage choose one)

Any Item Not Specified On Either List (ring apron doesn't count)

Also, after I post every show preview you can post Predictions for the matches that are announced in the preview. If you are right then you will get 1 point added to your score. If you are wrong, you will get -3 points taken away from your score.

Once you make your picks you can not change them again until after the last show BEFORE the pay per view. So, make one set of picks now, and then after I post the Velocity before Armageddon you can make a new set.

There will be three prizes given away to the top three finishers in Fantasy WWE. The prizes will be announced later. So post your picks and shit.

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Edited October 2, 2004 by Essa

[Chris2K]

Can I just endorse the fantasy WWE game. It gives you a bit of extra incentive to read the diary, plus you get a reward for doing well. It also kinda means you play a part in the diary, rather than just reading.

So go on, give it a go. It won't kill you .

[maddog]

RAW UPPER TIER

Choose One Person

Ric Flair - Over: 92

RAW MIDCARD

Choose TWO People

Christian - Over: 80

William Regal - Over: 78

RAW WOMEN & MANAGERS

Choose One

Trish Stratus - Over: 87

RAW WEAPONS

Choose One From The Top List OR Two From The Bottom

LIST ONE

Table

SMACKDOWN UPPER TIER

Choose One

Big Show Over: 83

SMACKDOWN MIDCARD

Choose TWO

Charlie Haas - Over: 73

Rey Mysterio Jr - Over: 85

SMACKDOWN WOMEN & MANAGERS

Choose One

Paul Heyman - Over: 85

SMACKDOWN WEAPONS

Choose One From The Top List OR Two From The Bottom

LIST TWO

Title Belts

Ring Bell

Edited October 3, 2004 by maddog

[Essa]

The Dead Man Rises From The Grave?

The post-Survivor Series edition of SmackDown! kicks off with some still footage of Sunday night's event. We see The World's Greatest Tag Team winning the Tag Titles, Tajiri retaining his Cruiserweight Title, Lesnar tapping to the Crossface, The Undertaker being buried alive by Kane and Vince, and Kane defeating Shane in the Ambulance match.

The pyro goes off as the crowd cheer, and SmackDown then gets underway with Vince McMahon coming out to the ring with a bandage around his forehead, and walking in his usual manner with a distinctive limp. Vince gets into the ring gingerly, and demands the mic from ring announcer Tony Chimel.

Michael Cole: Hello everybody. Just four days ago we had our annual Survivor Series pay per view, where this man Mr. Vince McMahon, with help from Kane, beat the Undertaker in a Buried Alive Match!

Tazz: Gimme a break Cole, I'm sure Mistah McMahon coulda won that match witout any help from Kane. If anyone helped someone, it was McMahon helpin' Kane beat his bastuhd kid Shane.

Vince: Last night... Shut up! Last Sunday, I, Vince McMahon, looked my maker in the eye.... and survived. Last Sunday, I, Vince McMahon, the owner of World Wrestling Entertainment, went into a Buried Alive match.... and won. Last Sunday, I, Vince McMahon, went one-on-one with The Undertaker, the American BadAss, the Phenom, the former-WWE champion. I went one-on-one with him, and did something that so many people have failed to do in the past... I won. And you know, I could have taken this week off, I... I could've taken this week off to rest and recuperate, and that's exactly what my doctors and my wife told me to do. But then I thought, no. I realized that every WWE fan in the world wanted me to be here tonight to hear from the horse's mouth just how he won that match on Sunday night. Well let me tell you, I'm not going to say it was easy. Oh no, I'm not that stupid, and I'm not that arrogant. But at the end of the day, thanks to a good friend of mine, Kane, and may I just say what a pity it is that Kane himself cannot be here tonight to celebrate his magnificently brutal victory over my rebellious and quite frankly disgusting son Shane, but he is a Raw wrestler, and as a Raw wrestler he cannot appear on SmackDown. Anyway, I digress. Thanks to Kane, and thanks to myself, the man you knew as The Undertaker has gone. The Undertaker... is dead. And from the bottom of my heart, allow me to express my deep, deep, DEEP... satisfaction, at a job well done! You see, The Undertaker may have been one of the biggest men in the history of the WWE, but when all was send and done, I, Vince McMahon was ALWAYS the better man. That is why I am the self-made billionaire, and The Undertaker is six feet und...

Vince is suddenly interrupted by the lights going out all around the arena.

Vince: Hey! Turn the lights back on! Dammit, I said turn the damn lights back on!

Michael Cole: Oh my god! That's the Undertaker! The Dead Man has come back from the grave to get his revenge on Mr. McMahon!

Tazz: This aint lookin' too good for Vinnie Mac.

The lights remain out, until the destinctive sound of a bell tolling is heard, sending the crowd into a frenzy of excitement. An eerie blue light shines on to the entrance ramp, as the bell continues to toll. The Undertaker's 'oldschool' music then hits, as a tall figure emerges on the rampway. The man slowly walks down to the ring, with the crowd cheering his every step. However, a hood over his head prevents his face from being seen. The man walks to the ring and climbs into it, with Vince nearly crapping himself in fear. The man looks towards Vince and grabs him by the throat, looking for a Chokeslam. After five or six seconds in the choke, the man lets go of Vince, and steps back. The man removes the hood, and exposes his face - it's KANE. Vince and Kane share a hearty laugh in the middle of the ring, and shake hands to the displeasure of the crowd. Kane then takes the microphone from Vince.

Tazz: AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I can't believe you really thought that was the Undertaker.

Michael Cole: What? So did you! How was I supposed to know that Kane was going to be here tonight?

Kane: I bet you IDIOTS thought for a second that The Undertaker was back to kick Mr. McMahon's ass! Well if you had any sense, you'd realise that The Undertaker, my BROTHER, will NEVER be returning. He's no longer a Dead Man Walking, he's just a Dead Man. But why, you ask, why did you bury him alive Kane? Well the brother I knew died a long time ago. He made a big mistake, and reclaimed a soul. He cared about people, he may have even cared about me, but let me tell you, he doesn't any more. Because of me, he can't care about ANYONE anymore! With his removal from this life, there is only one thing to say. The era of the Undertaker is OVER, and I, as his next of kin... that's right, I'm his next of kin, it is my right, and my DUTY to take over. You see, instead of the era of The Undertaker, I welcome you to the era of KANE! I will be THE most dominating man in the history of World Wrestling Entertainment, and I will 'dedicate' it to the memory of my dead brother. Undertaker... rest... in... piece!

With a broad smile, Kane hands the microphone back to Vince McMahon.

Vince: Thank you Kane for that 'moving' eulogy for your departed brother. But now we must move on, and I have a business matter that involves you Kane. Like I said earlier, you are a Raw superstar Kane, but not for much longer. Oh no. All you have to do is sign this contract, and you will become a fully fledged member of the SmackDown! Brand.

Michael Cole: Great, first we have to deal with bullies like Brock Lesnar and the Big Show, and now we've got Kane here too.

Tazz: Shut up Cole, what are you afraid?

Vince brandishes a contract, and a pen, and Kane duly signs the contract.

Vince: Well may I be the first person to welcome you to SmackDown! And as a welcoming present, allow me to give you your very first match as a SmackDown competitor. Tonight, the Big Red Machine Kane will take on one of the most vile and disgusting members of the SmackDown roster, John Cena! So tonight Kane, I want you to do what you do best, and DESTROY Cena, like you destroyed my son at Survivor Series. I want to see that brutal side of Kane again, and again, and again, and again, and AGAIN, and you will become the top dog of SmackDown, and maybe even, the main man of the WWE. I know you're good enough, you know you're good enough... and with The Undertaker gone... now is your chance to prove it!

Vince and Kane shake hands in the ring once again, as SmackDown heads to the opening video package.

Overall: 85

Michael Cole: Kane vs John Cena, TONIGHT? That's huge Tazz!

Tazz: That's gonna be a rocketbustah tanight Cole.

Ultimo Dragon vs Shannon Moore vs Rey Mysterio vs Funaki vs Nunzio vs Jamie Noble vs Billy Kidman vs Paul London vs Akio vs Matt Hardy

Battle Royal To Determine The Number One Contender For The World Cruiserweight Championship

After the Smackdown video package finishes airing, we cut to the ring where all ten Cruiserweights are in the ring. Once the bell rings, all ten men rush into the center of the ring and start brawling with each other. Right off the bat, Rey Mysterio and the Ultimo Dragon break off with Akio and start pummeling him. Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore start working together on Billy Kidman and Funaki, while Nunzio and his cousin Jamie Noble start beating the tar out of Paul London. Rey and Ultimo are taking all of their pent up frustration from Survivor Series out on Tajiri's buddy Akio. Rey and Ultimo have Akio against the ropes and are just assaulting him with hard knife edge chops right to the chest. After almost a minute of this, Rey takes a few steps back and then charges in at Akio. Akio makes a quick move to back body drop Rey over the top rope, but Mysterio lands on the ring apron! Akio thinks Rey is eliminated, and so does Ultimo. Akio catches Ultimo off guard with a big heel kick that turns Ultimo inside out.

Tazz: Yanno Cole, Akio is tryin' tah prove that he aint just Tajiri's lackey. He want's tah prove that he is one of the most talented cruisah's on Smackdown.

Michael Cole: Yes, and right now he's proving it at the expense of Ultimo Dragon.

Akio gets up holding his chest, but he looks happy about his handy work so far. That is, until Rey Mysterio springs into the ring and hits Akio with the West Coast Pop! Rey helps Ultimo up to his feet. Then the two pick up Akio who is down and hurt. Rey and Ultimo grab Akio by the hair and run him towards the ropes to throw him out. But Ultimo just stops. He tells Rey to let go of Akio. Ultimo then goes to hit Akio with the Asai DDT! But during the little backflippy part, Rey catches Ultimo on his shoulders. Rey then runs to the ropes and dumps Ultimo over the top rope and out to the floor. Rey looks out at Ultimo and just shrugs his shoulders. Mysterio then turns back around and he too walks into a big heel kick from Akio.

Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio just eliminated his own ally, the Ultimo Dragon.

Tazz: Ally? These two are rivals Cole. At Suhviva Series these two beat each otha's asses so bad that it left them both to be easy pickin's for Tajiri. But now Rey don't have tah worry about Ultimo, at least for tonight.

Rey Mysterio eliminated Ultimo Dragon

Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore are still having their way with Funaki and Billy Kidman. Shannon Moore has Billy Kidman in the corner of the ring getting stomped on, while Hardy is just pummeling Funaki with punches and kicks against the ropes. Funaki eventually catches one of Hardy's kicks and spins him around. When Hardy faces Funaki again, Funaki boots Hardy in the stomach and goes for a standing Tornado DDT, but Hardy spins Funaki around and hits him with a big Side Effect. Funaki crawls on the mat to the ropes where he sticks his head out over the middle rope. Big Mistake! Hardy charges in and jumps across the back of Funaki bringing him down neck first on the middle turnbuckle.

Hardy gets up and tries to do the same thing to Funaki again, but this time, Funaki moves out of the way just in time. Hardy goes through the middle rope and almost falls out of the ring, but he grabs onto the top rope just before his feet touch, and pulls himself back onto the ring apron. Hardy stands up, and Funaki tries to deck him. Hardy blocks the punch, and knees Funaki in the stomach. Hardy then hooks Funaki and suplexes him from in the ring to outside the ring, effectively eliminating him!

Tazz: Damn Cole, Matt Hardy just suplexed Funaki outta the ring. That was crazy Cole.

Michael Cole: The Sensei of Mattitude sent Funaki flying out of the ring.

Matt Hardy eliminated Funaki

Matt Hardy then goes to help Shannon Moore with eliminating Billy Kidman. They have him at the top of the turnbuckle, and are trying to push him out of the ring, but Kidman has his leg hooked around the top rope, keeping him in. Rey Mysterio is trying to bundle Akio out, but it is just not working. Rey drops Akio in the ring and then goes over to where Paul London is being beaten upon by Nunzio and Noble in the middle of the ring. They are just taking turns putting the stomps to London, when from out of nowhere Mysterio jumps on the middle rope, springs off of it, rotates in mid air and takes out both men with a Crossbody.

Noble gets up first and charges at Mysterio, but Mysterio takes him down with a quick hurricanranna. Nunzio now gets up and charges at Mysterio, who hits Nunzio with a big back body drop that landed right on top of Jamie Noble. Mysterio just stands there telling Noble and Nunzio to bring it, when he gets caught with a big dropkick to the back of the head from Akio! Nunzio and Noble get up now and are all over Mysterio like a pack of dogs. Nunzio goes over to the ropes and holds the top rope down while Noble runs with Mysterio and goes to Irish Whip him into the dangerously low rope. Mysterio reverses the Whip and Noble goes flying over the top rope and to the floor outside!

Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio does it again. He's eliminated two of his competitors from Survivor Series in the opening minutes of this match.

Tazz: Rey's playing it smart. He's getting rid of the big threats first, so that he can finish off whoever's left easier.

Rey Mysterio eliminated Jamie Noble

Mysterio turns back around and Akio rams him into the corner where he starts to hit him with a variety of martial arts kicks, before trying to bundle Mysterio out of the ring. Nunzio goes right back to working on Paul London but not having a two on one advantage really hurts Nunzio. Nunzio starts doing the punchy kicky on London, but London still somehow gets up to his knees. London, from his knees, pushes Nunzio off into the ropes. Nunzio comes back, and London shoots up to his feet and snaps off a quick headscissors takedown on Nunzio. London keeps the headscissors locked in, but Nunzio kips up out of them. Nunzio is back on his feet, but a leg sweep from a lying London takes him right back down. London then drags Nunzio so that he is perpindicular to the turnbuckles. London climbs all the way up to the top and he might be going for the London Calling.

But Matt Hardy sees this going on and runs over to try and stop it. Hardy stands on the middle rope and tries to push London off the top turnbuckle. Instead, London boots Hardy in the chest hunching him over. London then turns his attention back to Nunzio, but now Nunzio is up. Nunzio quickly runs and jumps up to the middle turnbuckle and shoves London off the top and out of the ring.

Michael Cole: There goes Paul London!

Tazz: Cole, if you've seen Velocity recently I think it's safe to say that Paul London's came and went a while ago. That guy is out there.

Nunzio eliminated Paul London

Nunzio then turns around and sees a hunched over Matt Hardy. Nunzio hops off of the middle turnbuckle and drills Hardy with the Sicilian Slice. Moore helps Hardy up to his feet while Billy Kidman, who has stayed out of the limelight for most of tonight, springs into the picture by taking down Nunzio and rolling with him off to the side. Moore is making sure that Hardy is okay, when Akio comes from out of nowhere and dropkicks Moore right into Hardy. Akio and Moore's momentum carry Hardy right over the top rope and to the floor!

Tazz: What the hell? Shannon Moore just eliminated his mentor, Matt Hardy.

Michael Cole: Good for him!

Tazz: I dunno Cole, Matt Hardy can't be too happy about that.

Shannon Moore eliminated Matt Hardy

Akio now seems to have some pep in his step, so when Moore gets back up and realizes what he's done, Akio charges in at him. But Moore sees it coming and hits a big back body drop on Akio that sends him flying over the top rope and right onto Matt Hardy!

Tazz: Now Matt is definitely going to be pissed. Moore just chucked Akio right at Hardy.

Michael Cole: Yeah, Matt Hardy is certainly going to give Shannon Moore an earful later.

Shannon Moore eliminated Akio

Moore and Mysterio start to brawl while Nunzio and Kidman do the same. Kidman whips Nunzio into the ropes so that he is running across the ropes horizontally. Moore whips Mysterio across the to the ropes so that he is running vertically. These two are crisscrossing in the ring, when just as they are about to collide, Mysterio snaps off a 'Rana onto Nunzio that sends him skidding across the ring. Kidman charges in at Nunzio. Nunzio goes for a big haymaker on Kidman, but Kidman slides through Nunzio's legs and out onto the ring apron. Nunzio turns around and tries to punch Kidman off of the apron, but Kidman ducks it and then wraps his legs around Nunzio's head. Kidman then holds onto the top rope, and hurricanrannas Nunzio out of the ring!

Tazz: Kidman is my pick to win the match. He's been laying low all match while these guys have been giving it their all. He's going to be the only one with any energy saved up.

Michael Cole: I don't know. I'm liking what I see from Shannon Moore. He might just win it.

Billy Kidman eliminated Nunzio

Kidman pulls himself back to a standing position on the ring apron, but WHAMF a big Superkick to the face from Moore sends Kidman flying off the apron!

Michael Cole: My pick just beat your pick!

Tazz: How about I lock you in the Tazzmission and beat you?

Michael Cole: Heh, no thanks.

Shannon Moore eliminated Billy Kidman

Moore then turned back around and got greeted with a big clothesline from Mysterio that took him over the top rope and out of the ring!

Michael Cole: And there goes Shannon Moore! Rey Mysterio wins the match and is now in the front of the line to get a shot at Tajiri and his Cruiserweight Championship.

Tazz: That'll be one hell of a match Cole. Those two always deliver. We'll be right back.

Rey Mysterio eliminated Shannon Moore to Win the Cruiserweight Battle Royale!

Overall: 64

Crowd: 62

Match: 66

*

Order of Elimination

Ultimo Dragon

Funaki

Jamie Noble

Paul London

Matt Hardy

Akio

Nunzio

Billy Kidman

Shannon Moore

The Rabid Wolverine Wants Gold

After the Battle Royale, the camera is following Chris Benoit around backstage. Benoit stops walking when he shows up in front of Paul Heyman's office. Benoit pounds on the door, but there is no answer. All he hears is a loud snarl, like there's a big dog inside the room. We then hear Heyman yell.

Paul Heyman: Let him in Rhyno.

Rhyno opens the door, still snarling at Benoit. These two have a big staredown, most likely because of their recent history together. But this all ends when Heyman starts to speak.

Paul Heyman: Come on in Chris, have a seat.

Chris Benoit: No, I think I'd rather stand.

Rhyno then gets out of Benoit's face giving Benoit a full glimpse of the room. He sees Paul Heyman sitting at his desk, with Brock Lesnar sitting across from him.

Chris Benoit: Hey champ, how's the neck?

Brock Lesnar stands up and goes chest to... nose with Benoit.

Paul Heyman: I'm sure his neck is doing just fine Chris.

Brock Lesnar: Yeah, it's doing fine. Now what the hell do you want?

Chris Benoit: I just came here to talk to Paul, but you can stick around if you want to Brock. After all, if you do start to act up champ, I could just lock you in the Crippler Crossface and make you tap out one more time.

Brock Lesnar shoves Benoit, and Benoit shoves him back.

Paul Heyman: That is enough Benoit. Before you say anything, look around you. You've got the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion, Brock Lesnar ready to pounce on you. You've got The Man Beast, Rhyno just waiting for the 'okay' to knock another one of your teeth out, and I've got security standing right outside of the door ready to haul your ass out to jail. Now, tell me Chris, why the hell are you in my office?

Chris Benoit: I'm just here to fill you in on what happened last Sunday at Survivor Series, just in case you weren't watching. I made points to Lesnar him tap out. I made the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion tap out to my Crippler Crossface. So, I think that I deserve a shot at the Undisputed Title, and a shot to make Brock Lesnar tap out again!

Paul Heyman: Chris, I am starting to lose my patience. We've all seen what happened, and I am well aware of your fluke victory over Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series.

Chris Benoit: Fluke victory?

Paul Heyman: Yes, fluke victory. Face it Chris, you have had shot after shot at the Heavyweight Championship in your run here in the WWE and you've blown it each and every time. You've had title shots before against guys like The Rock, and Steve Austin. And you've lost every single time. Every single time!

Chris Benoit: What's your point Paul? That has nothing to do with who made who tap out at Survivor Series.

Paul Heyman: Oh, correction Chris, it has everything to do with that. You see Chris, while you failed time and time again to take the Heavyweight Title away from the Rock, Brock Lesnar was able to get the job done and take the Heavyweight Championship away from the Rock on his very first shot. And, Chris you couldn't get the job done against Steve Austin. But, Brock Lesnar... Brock Lesnar is the man that ran Steve Austin away from Raw last March. Now, tell me how can you say to me that you can compete with Brock Lesnar?

Chris Benoit: How can I prove it? You tell me Paul. You tell me. I can rip apart anybody on the Smackdown roster, Brock Lesnar included. You don't think that I can hang with the top guys on Smackdown? Fine. Paul, I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG. And I'm going to start tonight when I beat the hell out of the Big Show and take his United States Championship. Then, Brock, get ready cause I'm coming for you next!

Benoit puts a smirk on his face and walks out of the office with Rhyno and Lesnar snarling, and Heyman giving him a dirty look.

Overall: 81

Michael Cole: We are back, and it looks like Benoit is claiming he's the number one contender.

Tazz: But what will his pal Kurt Angle say about that?

Michael Cole: I don't know. But Benoit can't worry about that tonight, because he'll have his hands full with The Big Show in tonight's main event. Up next we have the Guerrero's taking on the Basham's.

Los Guerreros vs The Basham Brothers

Chavo starts up the match for Los Guerreros, while Danny Basham starts it out for the Basham Brothers. Chavo and Danny start the match off with a collar and elbow tie up, which is won by Danny. Danny kicks the match off with a quick irish whip into the ring ropes. Chavo bounces back, and Danny goes to level him with a big punch Chavo avoids the punch by sliding right between the legs of Danny Basham. Chavo gets up quickly and dropkicks Danny right in the back. Danny falls forward into the ropes, and then bounces back towards Chavo. Chavo gets up and attempts to hit a Russian Leg Sweep on Basham. Basham loosens up Chavo's grip after hitting him with a few elbows to the head. Basham then spins around and hits a quick clothesline on to Chavo.

Michael Cole: These two men are going back and forth in the early goings of this match.

Tazz: Yeah, it could go either way Cole. But this is a must win for both teams, cause there's no doubt that the winner of this will move up in the Tag ranks.

Danny gets up and pulls Chavo up to his feet. Danny hits a couple of right hands on Chavo before hooking up Chavo and hitting him with a Snap Suplex. Danny tags in Doug, and then lifts Chavo up to his feet. Danny grabs Chavo and puts him in a weak looking Abdonimal Stretch. Doug comes in and hits a kick right to the exposed ribs of Chavo. Chavo hunches over grabbing his ribs, while Doug charges in and hits a Swinging Neckbreaker onto Chavo Guerrero.

Michael Cole: The quick tag and the double team from the Basham Brothers has really given them the advantage here.

Tazz: No doubt Cole. Chavo needs tah tag in Uncle Eddie.

Doug got up to his feet and dropped a quick elbow. Doug goes for a pin. One... Two... Chavo gets his shoulder up. Doug gets up to his feet and pulls Chavo up too. Doug Irish Whips Chavo into the ropes. Chavo comes back, and is about to collide with Doug, when Doug drops to the mat. Chavo bounces off the ropes again, Doug lifts his feet up and attempts to Monkey Flip Chavo. But he telegraphed it. Chavo just falls on top of Doug, putting him in a pinning predicament. One... Two... Danny Basham stomps on the head of Chavo, breaking up the pinfall.

Michael Cole: Chavo almost pulled out a quick win on the Basham's.

Tazz: Yeah, the Guerrero's almost caught a quick break right there.

Danny got up and started shouting at Chavo, but he got blindsided by a big dropkick from Eddie Guerrero! Danny gets up and Eddie takes him down with a quick Hurricanranna. Danny slides out of the ring. Eddie now tries to go to work on Doug, but the referee grabs Eddie and makes him get out of the ring. The referee starts admonishing Eddie, which distracts Chavo long enough for Doug to take him down with a Russian Leg Sweep from behind. Doug then starts choking Chavo Guerrero against the bottom rope. Danny gets back in the ring and starts stomping on the fallen Guerrero. The Bashams then pick Chavo up to his feet and whip him into the ropes. When Chavo comes back, the Basham Brothers then hit a Double Team Flapjack on Chavo. Eddie tries getting in the ring again but once again the referee is restraining him.

Michael Cole: Eddie's a veteran but right now he's making a rookie mistake. He's got to get out of the ring now.

Tazz: Shutup Cole. Eddie's seeing his nephew getting beaten up by two guys so he once to get in there and whoop some ass. Something you definitely wouldn't know anything about.

The Bashams pick Chavo up again and whip him into the ropes one more time. The Bashams bend down and try to hit a Double Back Body Drop on Chavo, but Chavo sees it coming. Chavo hits a kick to the face of Doug Basham, and then drops Danny Basham with a big DDT. Chavo gets up and ducks a clothesline from Doug. Doug turns back around to face Chavo and gets taken down with a big Hurricanranna. Chavo gets up and goes to make the tag into Eddie. Chavo tags in Eddie! Eddie steps into the ring, but the referee stops him. He didn't see the tag!

Michael Cole: The referee didn't see the tag!

Tazz: He's kicking Eddie back out of the ring.

Chavo and Eddie start pleading their case but the referee won't have any of it. From behind both Basham brothers attack Chavo. They kick Chavo down to the ground while Eddie can do nothing but look on. The Basham Brother's pick Chavo up and set him up for the Ball & Gag. They're about to hit it, but Chavo ducks under Doug Basham, and as he turns around, delivers a Release Northern Lights Suplex to him. Danny attempts to clothesline Chavo, but Chavo counters out of it with a go behind and then a German Suplex. Chavo hops up to his feet and then leaps halfway across the ring to tag in Uncle Eddie. And the referee sees this one!

Tazz: Here he comes. Here comes the Latino Heat!

Eddie comes in, and takes down Doug with a right hand. Then he takes Danny down with a right hand. Doug charges in and gets sent flying with a Back Body Drop. Danny gets up and charges in too. But he gets taken down by another right hand. Danny springs back up but this time Eddie hits him with a suplex. Eddie then swings his hips around and pulls Danny back up to his feet for another suplex. Once again Eddie tries for a Suplex, but Doug Basham is charging in with a Double Arm Sledge to break it up. Eddie sees it coming and boots Doug in the gut. Eddie then lets go of the Suplex, and hits both Basham's heads together with a double noggin knocker. Both men stumble around looking stupid until Eddie drops them both with a Double DDT. Eddie then pulls Danny on top of Doug, and climbs up to the top rope. He's gonna go for the Frog Splash! But all of a sudden “The Next Big Thing” hits on the PA System, and out comes Paul Heyman onto the ring ramp.

Michael Cole: What the hell? Eddie had the match won, but Paul Heyman's out here now. What the hell does he want?

Paul Heyman: Ladies and gentleman, I'm sorry to interrupt this match but I've got an announcement to make that could very well concern both Los Guerrero's, and The Basham Brothers. Here it goes... So I was just back in my office thinking about the Tag Team Title Division, when I realized that every single week on Smackdown it's the Basham's vs the Guerrero's, the Guerrero's vs the Basham's. And, don't get me wrong gentlemen, these have been some good matches, but I think that what I want, and what these fans want boos and for that matter, what all the wrestlers backstage want is for there to be some variety in the Tag Team Title Division. So, as of now, I'm adding another team into this match for the number one contendorship. Without any further adiou, here come your soon to be new Tag Team Champs, Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan!

Overall: 85

Los Guerreros vs The Basham Brothers vs Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan

Tazz: Now we got us a triple threat tag match cause them two hosses Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan are joinin' the party.

After that quick introduction, Jones and Morgan storm the ring with their fingers pointed at Eddie, Chavo and the fallen Basham's. Once they get to the ringside area, Eddie decides to bring the fight to them by jumping at them from the Top Rope where he was perched and ready to hit the Frog Splash. But, Jones and Morgan catch Eddie, and hit him with a Double Team Spinebuster right onto the steel ramp. Eddie wriggles around holding his back while Jones and Morgan climb into the ring. They pick Danny Basham up from the top of the Basham heap. Morgan feeds Danny to Jones, who scoops him up onto his shoulders before hitting him with a big Running Powerslam. Danny grabs his back and then rolls out of the ring onto the ground below. Then Jones picks up Danny, and feeds him to Morgan. Morgan effortlessly lifts Doug up over his head and starts to spin around for his Spiral Powerbomb. He's about to drop Doug, when from behind Chavo chopblocks Morgan. Morgan falls backward with Doug falling on top of him. The referee starts to count. One... Jones pulls Doug off of Morgan, and Gorilla Presses him! But again Chavo comes from behind and starts pounding away on the back of Jones, eventually causing Doug to fall off the back of Jones and land on his feet behind him. Chavo and Doug nod at each other and then hit a Double Russian Leg Sweep on Nathan Jones! Chavo and Doug get back up, and both men get taken down immediately by a huge pair of clotheslines from Morgan. Morgan then picks Doug Basham up and grabs him by the back of his neck. Morgan chucks Doug out of the ring. Then Morgan picks up Chavo and lifts him up for the Spiral Powerbomb again! And this time it connects! Morgan keeps Chavo down in a pinning predicament. One... Two... Three! Morgan and Jones win the match. They get up and after high fiving each other, they walk to the back, making sure to step all over each one of the opponents that they passed.

Michael Cole: Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan just stole that match from the Guerrero's and the Basham's. They waited until both teams were totally drained to come out here and make this a triple threat match.

Tazz: No matta what they did, it was pretty damn effective. Those guys were pretty damn impressive out there.

Overall: 73

Crowd: 68

Match: 79

**1/2

MATT MORGAN SPEAKS... OH YEAH

After a commercial break we go backstage where Mark Lloyd is standing with Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan. These two are towering over Lloyd and it looks like they haven't broken a sweat since that “match” of theirs.

Mark Lloyd: We are back here on Smackdown and I am here with new number one contenders for the Tag Team Titles. They are...

Matt Morgan: Stuff it Lloyd. We may be new, but these people already know who we are. We don't need no introduction from you. And if these people don't know who we are, they can go ask them Basham Bitches and them Guerreros, and they'll tell you who we are. I am Matt Morgan, and I like to kick ass. That's it. I like to step into that ring and beat my damn opponent to within an inch of their life, and then Powerbomb their ass to end the match, just so I can do the same damn thing to him the next week! That is who I am, that is what I do, and that is why I am here. I'm HERE TO KICK SOME ASS! And this guy standing here next to me is the Collusus of Boggy Road. He's come here all the way from Australia to prove to you all th...

Then the APA come into the picture.

Bradshaw: Ta prove ta us what? That he knows how ter throw a boomerang? Or that he can knock back a 12 pack'er that Foster's? Aint none of us care about that here in ther WWE.

Faarooq: Hell no we don't. And you, whatever the hell yo' name is. You say yo' here to kick some ass? Well, guess what? That's our job, and we just aint ready to quit yet. So boys if you want to come here to “kick ass”, then you're going to have to kick our asses first.

Matt Morgan: Bring it on.

Bradshaw: Wait up, I aint done speaking to you yet. If me and Faarooq are gonna put up the APA's reputation on the line, then you've gotter to put something on the line. And seeing as how you aint got any reputation, and how nobody wants the reputation that your man Paul Heyman has, we want something else. We want a shot to get your Number One Contendership for them there Tag Titles.

Matt Morgan: You want it, you got it! Next week on Smackdown, Matt Morgan, and Nathan Jones against you two washed up, drunk, beer bellied, has beens.

Faarooq: Damn.

With that comment from Morgan, Faarooq decks Jones while Morgan is the first one to strike Bradshaw. The two teams brawl back and forth when the road agents come in to break up the brawl. Then from behind comes Chavo Guerrero with a steel folding chair. Chair shot to the back of Morgan brings him down! Chavo then jabs the chair into the chest of Bradshaw hunching him over. Chavo again swings the chair and cracks Bradshaw in the back with it dropping him down to the mat. But then Faarooq sees Chavo and takes him down with a big punch to the back of the head. The road agents then go to keep Chavo down, when Doug Basham runs in to the scene with a chair that he blasts over the back of Faarooq's head taking him right down. Jones turns around and looks like he approves of Doug's actions. Doug smiles back at Jones and then kicks him below the belt! Jones drops to his knees and gets a chairshot right to the head taking him right down. Basham drops the chair and picks up the microphone.

Basham: You four can add Doug Basham to that match next week...

Mark Llloyd: So it's going to be The APA vs Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones vs The Basham Brothers next week on Smackdown!

Basham: No it's not. I'm sick of my brother Danny causing me to lose MY Tag Team Titles. I'm sick of my brother Danny causing me to lose my shot at getting the Tag Titles back. I'm SICK OF IT! So next week, I'm going to get me a partner that I KNOW is going to be reliable. A partner that is going to help me become a two time tag team partner.

Basham then stares into the monitor while, we go back to ringside.

Tazz: We just saw a really donnybrook goin on back there. And next week, we got The APA vs Matt Morgan and Nate Jone, vs Doug Basham and whoever his partner is.

Michael Cole: Yes, and get this, he says he doesn't want to team with his brother Danny anymore. Who will his partner be? I don't know, but speaking of big matches. Up next we have Paul Heyman's henchmen Rhyno taking on The Cat, Ernest Miller.

Overall: 57

Matt Morgan gained overness

Ernest “The Cat” Miller vs Rhyno

Miller and Rhyno start out the match by circling around each other in the ring. Rhyno tries tying up with Miller on multiple occasions, but Miller kept toying with Rhyno by sidestepping him. Eventually Miller was ready to tie up with Rhyno, but Rhyno changed his mind and hit a knee to the midsection of Miller. Rhyno then locked Miller in a front face lock, and proceeded to pummel Miller with clubbing blows to the back. After a few clubs to the back, Miller had enough of it and rammed Rhyno backwards into the corner. With Rhyno backed up into the corner, Miller starts to hit chop after chop in the corner on Rhyno. Miller then hits a stiff kick to the ribs of Rhyno, follwed by a back kick to the side of Rhyno's head. Miller then springs up off of the middle rope and goes for another heel kick on Rhyno, but Rhyno catches him in mid air runs out of the corner and then hits a big Spinebuster right in the middle of the ring. Rhyno gets up and stamps around the ring with a meancing look on his face before going back to work on Miller. Rhyno picks Miller up to his feet and whips him off into the ropes. On the rebound, Rhyno scoops up Miller onto his shoulder in a Fireman's Carry. Rhyno then spins around with Miller still on his shoulders, culminating in a Modified TKO from Rhyno. Rhyno gets up and holds onto the ropes to regain his balance after all the spinning. Eventually Rhyno goes back over to Miller and sits down on his back. Rhyno locks in a Camel Clutch on Miller right smack dab in the middle of the ring. Rhyno has the hold cinched in but Miller just will not tap out. Rhyno starts to get a bit frustrated, so he lets go with one hand and starts clubbing the back of Miller's head with his free hand. Rhyno keeps on clubbing the hell out of Miller, but because he eased up on the Camel Clutch, Miller wriggles his way over to the ropes. Miller grabs the ropes and breaks up the submission hold. Miller starts to pull himself up using the turnbuckles, but Rhyno stops that when he hits a big shoulderblock (basically a Gore that doesn't get sold as a Gore) in to the corner. Rhyno then looks deeply into the crowd before Irish Whipping Miller into the opposite corner. Miller stumbles out of the corner and Rhyno charges in looking for the Gore, but Miller side steps him and thinks that Rhyno hit the turnbuckles hard. Miller stpes away from the corner and starts James Browning it, when he turns around into a massive Gore from Rhyno! Rhyno covers. One. Two. Three.

Tazz: Rhyno made short work of Ernest Miller tanight. The Cat just has to figuh out that he can't dance till the match is over.

Michael Cole: Yeah, and how about that Gore from Rhyno. That'll knock the dance moves right out of him.

Overall: 76

Crowd: 73

Match: 79

**1/2

THA DOCTA OF STYL... ERR THUGANOMICS

That eerily familiar tune of “Slow Chemical” by Finger Eleven plays over the speaker system as the monster known only as Kane... and the Big Red Machine... and That Big Freaky Looking Sumbitch With Man Tits Second To Only Ric Flair... comes out to the ring ready for his match with John Cena. The fans boo the hell out of him for what he did to the Undertaker and Shane McMahon.

John Cena comes out next to his music, wearing a Troy Aikman, Dallas Cowboy's Jersey on, as well as his baggy denim shorts. Cena's got a microphone, and gets closer and closer to the ring as he delivers his lines.

John Cena: Yo... Yooo... YOOOOO. Cut my music.

Tonight on the mic, I'm gonna keep it short and sweet

'Cause in that ring I got some ass to beat.

I've got me a match tonight with Kane

But I aint afraid of him, let me explain.

He might of kicked some ass last Sunday

But that don't change the fact he's pretty damn gay

Big deal, he helped Vince beat up the Undertaker

I've beaten the Undertaker like the Mav's get beat by the Lakers

But me? I picked a fight with The Big Show, 500 pounds and Seven Feet Tall

I FUed that Giant and he had a great big freakin' fall

Don't get me wrong, I don't like Kurt Angle

Hell even his draws are star spangled

Now I got beef with Kane and Vince McMahon?

Aint he the same guy that got hit with a bedpan?

Tazz: Cena oughtta really watch his mouth. He doesn't want to piss off tha Big Red Machine.

By now Cena was standing on the ring apron doing his rhymes. Kane took offense to his comment about Vince so he grabbed him by the throat, and attempted to chokeslam him into the ring.

John Cena: Nuh uh. Not gonna happen.

Overall: 87

John Cena vs Kane

Cena takes the microphone and jams it right into the forehead of Kane causing Kane to let go of Cena, and fall down flat on his back. Cena gets in the ring and stands over Kane doing the “You Can't See Me” Pose.

Michael Cole: Cena just decked Smackdown's newest employee, Kane with his microphone. And, it was legal cause the match hasn't started yet!

But quite obviously Kane can see him, because he grabs him around the throat while he's getting back up to his feet. Kane launches Cena by his throat into the corner. Kane charges in and looks for a Splash in the corner on Cena, but Cena sidesteps it. Cena grabs Kane by his bald head and pulls him out of the corner. Cena grabs the back of Kane's neck and forces him down throat first on the top rope. Cena chokes Kane on the top rope. One... Two... Three... Four... Cena breaks the hold and then runs off into the ropes, and on the rebound he uses his momentum and the rope to elevate himself over the top rope, where he brings Kane down throat first on the top rope in a Guillotine like maneuver.

Tazz: Damn Cole, the last time I saw that move, it was Randy Savage doing it to Ricky Steamboat.

Cena showboats a little bit, while Kane stays there with his head leaned over the top rope. Cena climbs back up the stairs and onto the ring apron. Cena runs at Kane, while still standing on the ring apron but before he can get in whatever offense he had planned, Kane shoots up and hits a vicious clothesline on Cena that takes him down first onto the ring apron, and then down to the protective matting on the ground. Kane is quick to follow him out of the ring, but he does it much more deliberately by stepping over the top rope and lowering himself off the ring apron. One... Kane picks Cena up off of his back, and grabs him by the throat. Kane slams Cena backwards into the side of the ring by his throat! Kane keeps the chokehold on John Cena locked on.

Michael Cole: Kane is literally choking the life out of John Cena.

Four... Kane pulls Cena away from the side of the ring by his throat and then at full force rams him right back into the side of the ring. Now Kane lets go of the chokehold and starts pounding the living shit out of Cena with vicious punches and kicks. Eight... Kane rolls back into the ring and then right back out to break up the count. One... Kane then grabs Cena and Military Presses him. Kane then runs towards the ropes and tries to throw Cena over the top rope, but Kane doesn't get quite enough height on it and ends up knocking him into the top rope, and having him fall between the middle and top rope.

Tazz: Kane is chucking Cena around like he's a rag doll.

Kane quickly hops up onto the ring apron. But instead of getting inside the ring, Kane climbs up onto the top turnbuckle. Cena slowly struggles to get up to his feet, and when he does all he sees is a big red blob flying towards him as he gets taken down by a big flying clothesline from Kane. Kane quickly gets up to his feet and adjusts his glove as he waits for Cena to get back up. Once Cena does get up, he has his back turned to Kane. Cena stumbles around clumsily, and is grabbed around the neck by Kane. Kane lifts up Cena and goes for the Chokeslam, but Cena counters out of it in mid air with a big DDT on Kane out of desperation. Cena covers. One... Two... Kickout from Kane.

Michael Cole: Cena almost got the quick pin on Kane with that quick DDT.

Cena and Kane are both down and out for a few seconds before Kane gets up to his feet first. Cena is up relatively soon afterwards and goes for a right hand on Kane which results in Kane grabbing Cena's arm and flinging him across the ring. Cena comes back on the rebound, and Kane goes for a big boot to the face. Cena ducks underneath it and slides behind Kane. Cena gets up quickly behind Kane, and gives him the same low blow that he gave to Big Show at Survivor Series. Kane hunches over giving Cena a big opportunity. Cena bounces off the ropes and hits the Throwback on Kane! Cena gets up , does a quick bounce off the ropes, brushes his shoulders off and then hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Kane! Cena picks Kane up to his feet, and then lifts him up for a Fireman's Carry and we all know that the FU is coming up next. But... what the hell, the Big Show is walking down to the ring.

Michael Cole: What the hell is the Big Show doing out here?

Tazz: I don't know, why don't you go tell him to leave?

Cena keeps Kane up on his shoulders while the Big Show finally reaches the ringside area. Cena drops Kane off of his shoulders and eggs Big Show on to get in the ring. But Show stood his ground on the outside of the ring and just stayed there. Cena turned his attention back to Kane, and ducked another boot from Kane. Once Kane turned back around Cena lifted him up on his shoulders for the FU but AGAIN there was an interruption. This time it was Kurt Angle sprinting down to the ring behind the Big Show. Angle hits a big blow with his forearm to the back of Show. Angle then grabbed Show by the hair and rolled him into the ring where they continued this brawl of not so epic proportions. Cena once again let Kane go. Cena was about to get involved in the brawl between Angle and Big Show, but a big clothesline from Big Show took both men through the ropes and out of the ring where they continued this brawl. Cena shook his head in a very pissed off manor. Cena turned back around and walked right into a choke from Kane, and this time the Chokeslam connects! Kane covers Cena. One... Two... Three.

Tazz: Kane just chokeslammed Cena to hell! And it seems like he's not done yet.

Meanwhile on the outside of the ring, Big Show had Kurt Angle leaning against the ring, and was pummeling him with big ass punches from a big ass guy. On the inside, Kane picked up John Cena and hit with another big Chokeslam. But Kane still was not done, because for a second time he picked John Cena up. But now, he military pressed John Cena, walked over to the ropes and launched him over the top rope, right into Big Show. Big Show caught Cena in mid air and just slammed him off to the side. When Big Show went to lay back into Kurt Angle, Angle was waiting for him, and caught him with a BIG Olympic Slam on the floor. With both Cena, and Big Show down Angle talked a little jive and then walked back to the backstage area.

Michael Cole: Kurt Angle just Angle Slammed the Big Show! Kurt Angle, The Big Show and John Cena have been going at it recently, and it just got even more heated up tonight.

OR: 72

CR: 64

MQ: 81

**1/2

I'M THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER... NO I AM! GRRR NO I AM!

The camera goes backstage where it shows Chris Benoit presumably on his way to the ring. As he's walking through the hallway to get to there, we see Kurt Angle walking towards him to go back to the locker room. Benoit doesn't pay any attention to Angle, but it's obvious that Angle is making a beeline for Benoit. The two men collide chest to chest resulting in both men putting up their dukes.

Chris Benoit: What the hell is your problem Kurt?

Kurt Angle: What is my problem? What the hell is your problem? This isn't your fight. Brock Lesnar, and his Undisputed Title are mine Chris, not yours.

Chris Benoit: Really? I'm sorry, I seemed to remember me being the one that made Brock tap out at Survivor Series, while you got your ass beaten by A-Train.

Kurt Angle: Funny Chris, real funny. Just remember what team you were on at Survivor Series. You were on Team Angle, not Team Benoit.

Chris Benoit: Yeah, trust me Kurt I realize that. But that doesn't change a damned thing. The fact of the matter is that I stepped up last Sunday at Survivor Series. I won the match for Team Angle, not you. And even more importantly, I made the Champion, Brock Lesnar, tap out... you didn't. So, Kurt, whether you want to admit it or not, I certainly think that makes me the Number One Contender.

Kurt Angle: You want to talk about facts? Well here's a fact for you Chris. I got screwed out of my title by Brock Lesnar in that Iron Man Match about a month back, and I still haven't gotten my rematch.

Chris Benoit: Oh, is that right?

Kurt Angle: Yeah, that's right.

Chris Benoit: Well in that case, then you can have the damn title shot.

Kurt smiles at Chris and then shakes hands with him. Kurt heads down the hallway to the locker room when Chris calls back at him.

Chris Benoit: Hey Kurt. What I meant to say was that you can have the first title shot, after I win the Undisputed Title from Brock Lesnar.

Kurt Angle just stands at the other end of the hallway with a frustrated look on his face as we finally cut to that commercial break.

Overall: 85

Chris Benoit vs Big Show ©

United States Heavyweight Championship Match

Big Show is standing around in the ring because he was already out there during the Cena vs Kane match. He doesn't seem like the Angle Slam on the floor is really bothering him all that much. I know we've got a thing about not having any continuity, but come on, that happened like ten minutes ago. Bah, whatever.

Speaking of whatever, out comes Benoit to “Whatever” by Our Lady Peace. He's got a big smirk on his face after his last little exchange with Kurt Angle, but Big Show looks ready to wipe that smirk right off his face.

Tazz: Chris Benoit just made sure that his “friend” Kurt Angle knew that he wanted a crack at Brock Lesnuh, and Angle was not too happy about that. But right now, Benoit has got to concentrate on Big Show and winning the United States Title.

When Benoit gets about half way down to the ring, he starts sprinting down the ramp. He slides in underneath the bottom rope and gets a big fat foot in his back. Big Show starts stomping the hell out of Benoit before lifting him up to his feet. Big Show backs Benoit into the ropes, kicks him in the gut and then goes to Irish Whip him across the ring, but Benoit reverses the Whip and drops the Big Show down with the Crippler Crossface! Benoit has it locked in, but Big Show's tree trunks, I mean legs, are underneath the bottom rope. The referee comes and tells Benoit to break the hold. One... Two... Three... Four... Benoit breaks up the Crippler Crossface, but then gets up and starts stomping on the back of Big Show's neck.

Michael Cole: The match has only just begun and Big Show is already having to fight out of the very same Crippler Crossface that made Brock Lesnar tap out at Survivor Series.

But despite the stomps from Benoit, Big Show gets up to his knees. Benoit still tries the stomping, but Big Show grabs his foot in mid-stomp and just pushes him backwards. Benoit falls down on his back, and does a back roll before getting up and charging at Big Show. But Big Show springs up (well, with as much of a spring as a guy his size can do), and levels Benoit with a big clothesline. Big Show then goes for a pin on Benoit. One... Benoit quickly jerks his shoulder up to break up the pinfall. Show lugs himself back up to his feet and pulls Benoit up. Show hits a big open handed slap right to the chest of Benoit which sends Benoit backwards into the ropes. Benoit hits the ropes with his back and then stumbles right into a giant sized headbutt from the Big Show that takes Benoit right down.

Tazz: Chris Benoit is in a place that nobody wants to be in right now. He's gotta turn this around and do it quick.

Big Show bounces himself off of the ropes and then drops one of his massive legs across the chest of Benoit. Big Show then yells to the referee to “Count it!” The referee then doprs to his hands and knees and starts to count. One... Two... Benoit somehow kicks out once again. The Big Show lets out a grunt and then lifts Benoit back up. Big Show backs Benoit up into the ropes and tucks his arms behind the top rope exposing Benoit's chest. Big Show rears back and hits a hard chop to the exposed chest of Chris Benoit. Big Show hits a series of four more chops on Benoit before the referee gets in between them to break it up. Big Show grabs the ref by his collar and tosses him off to the side. The ref looks like he is going to disqualify the Big Show, but a big angry scowel changes that.

Michael Cole: The Big Show's got to watch it. He almost got himself disqualified there.

Big Show turns back around to Benoit, but when he does Benoit fires at him with a rapid succession of forearms. Benoit hits a kick to the midsection of Big Show and then bounces back off the ropes. Benoit hits a flying forearm on the Big Show but Show just stay's put and doesn't budge an inch. Benoit looks a little weirded out, but he bounces off the ropes again and hits another Flying Forearm on Big Show. This time Big Show stumbles back just a little bit. Big Show's stumbling gives Benoit enough time to bounce off the ropes again, and try another Flying Forearm. Benoit's forearm connects and Big Show is wobbly, and could be one hit away from going down. Benoit bounces off the ropes one more time, and when he goes for another Forearm, Big Show straightens himself out and catches Benoit in a Bear Hug effectively halting Benoit's momentum.

Michael Cole: Benoit almost took the big man down, but he went to the well one too many times, and Big Show caught him in a Bear Hug.

Big Show is squeezing the shit out of Benoit. He has him locked in the Bear Hug for a whole minute when it looks like Benoit is starting to fade out. The referee comes over and lifts up Benoit's arm. It drops. The ref lifts up Benoit's arm one more time and once again it drops to his side. For the third time, the ref picks up Benoit's arm, but now Benoit's eyes shoot open and he starts pounding away on the forehead of Big Show. But Big Show doesn't loosen up his grip on Benoit, that is until Benoit starts biting the forehead of the Big Show. Big Show immediately lets go of Benoit.

Tazz: Haha, Benoit just took a chunk out of the Big Show. But hey, he just did what he needed to to get out of the bear hug.

Benoit bounces off the ropes and Big Show goes for a boot on him. Benoit ducks the boot, and dives right into the straight leg of Big Show. Big Show falls forward onto his knees. He starts getting up when Benoit comes up to him from behind and puts him in a Waistlock. Benoit uses all of his might to hit a big German Suplex on the Big Show. Benoit then rolls over and tries pulling Big Show back up to his feet. After a couple of seconds, he has Big Show back up. Benoit goes for another German on Big Show, but Big Show hits a few elbows on Benoit to nearly break the hold. Benoit somehow musters up enough strength to still hit the move on Big Show, but he had to release the hold afterwards.

Michael Cole: Chris Benoit just German Suplexed a 500 pound man, TWICE! How does he do it!?

Benoit used up all of his energy on them German's, so now he and the Big Show are down on the mat breathing heavily. After about eight seconds of being down, Benoit slowly pulls himself up to his feet. He somehow manages to climb all the way up to the top turnbuckle. He does the throat slashing taunt and is about to go for his Flying Headbutt. But... where'd Big Show go? Oh, that's right, he's the mountain of a man standing right in front of Benoit.

Tazz: It doesn't look like Wolverine's are gonna fly tanight Cole.

Big Show then wraps his hand around Benoit's neck and is about to Chokeslam him off the top turnbuckle. But on the way down, somehow Benoit manages to counter it into the Crippler Crossface. He's got it locked right in the middle of the ring. Big Show is in the hold for a good fourty five seconds. But wait, out comes Brock Lesnar wearing his Undisputed Title wrapped around his waist.

Michael Cole: What now? Brock Lesnar is coming to the ring.

Brock hustles all the way down to the ring before sliding in and stomping on the back of Benoit's head, breaking up the Crossface and ending the match in a DQ. Brock picks up Benoit, and then lifts the spent Benoit up onto his shoulders. And WHAMF there goes the F5, dropping Benoit on his head.

Tazz: That F5 just knocked Benoit the hell out! Consider this to be Lesnuh showing Benoit why they're not in the same league.

Brock stands over Benoit and starts to chuckle. Brock rubs his belt and then gets out of the ring having done his damage. He walks backwards up the ramp still jawjacking at Benoit. But again from out of nowhere, Kurt Angle runs from backstage with a chair in hand and levels Brock with a vicious chairshot to his back! Smackdown ends with Kurt Angle going back and forth between looking down at Lesnar and looking straight ahead at Chris Benoit.

Michael Cole: There's Kurt Angle, and he just took out Brock Lesnar with that chair shot. It serves him right! Good night folks, we'll see you next week.

Edited October 23, 2004 by Essa

[Essa]

SMACKDOWN AWARDS

BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT: JOHN CENA VS KANE

WORST MATCH OF THE NIGHT: CRUISERWEIGHT BATTLE ROYALE

BEST SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: JOHN CENA RAPPING

WORST SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: THE TAG TEAM CONFRONTATION

SHOW MVP: JOHN CENA

SHOW IDIOT: MICHAEL COLE

Fantasy WWE Scores

Big Show - -8 Big Show lost a United States Heavyweight Title Match, and receives a -8.

Charlie Haas - -1 Charlie Haas did not appear on Smackdown and receives a -1.

Rey Mysterio - 6 Rey Mysterio eliminated Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble, and Shannon Moore for two points each, giving him a total of 6 points.

Predictions

Benoit defeated the Big Show, so Maddog will receive a -3.

Rey Mysterio won the Cruiserweight Battle Royale, so Maddog will receive a 1.

The Tag Team Match was interrupted and a third team was added so no points will be subtracted from Maddogs score.

Maddog's Grand Total - -5

Don't all sign up at once. Come on, you're going to let Maddog win with a -5 score? Booo to you all.

EDIT: The opening Smackdown segment was written by Chris2k.

Edited October 23, 2004 by Essa

[maddog]

Wow... I'm winning with -5! Yeah BITCHES~!

Nice show on your part Mr. Essa.. Kinda mad I'm in the negatives

Edited October 23, 2004 by maddog

[Essa]

Well technically, you're still winning.

[JStarr]

-5, eh? I'd like to hope I can better a total like that...but I'm likely wrong.

Raw Upper Card

Chris Jericho

Raw Midcard

Batista

Garrison Cade

Raw Women/Managers

Molly Holly

Raw Weapons

Stairs

SmackDown Upper Card

Chris Benoit

SmackDown Midcard

Chris Kanyon

Rhyno

SmackDown Women/Managers

Paul Heyman

SmackDown Weapons

Security Barrier

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, as for feedback and shit...

--I may be the only person on these boards who would admit to it, but I'd really enjoy a good push for Morgan and Jones...and they got a fine start on SmackDown.

--The Cat getting Gored out of his dancin' boots=RATINGS

--The Nowinski story on Raw has me chuckling just picturing Chris standing in front of Evolution, fully oblivious to the fact that they'd all like to kill him. Good stuff there.

--The smark in me also laughed when JR and King sold the shit out of Orton's chinlock.

--Finally, some motivation for Cade, Jindrak and Maven...the question is, how many of them will turn and kick the shit out of HBK?

Keep 'em comin', Essa...and keep Chris2k bangin' out the promos, too. :thumbsup:

[Essa]

Thanks for the feedback Starr. It's appreciated to know that some folks read this (when I actually do update). I'm not sure if Chris2k is still on board here. He told me that he'd do the Cena rap, and the Cena/Kane match but he never did it. No big deal, cause I think mine came out alright for a guy that listens to Fugazi. And the match didn't suck. But he's never came right out and said that he isn't going to help anymore, so bah, I dunno. If he wants to, that's cool, if he doesn't then bah, he's a bastard .

VELOCITY PREVIEW

This week on Velocity we will see Smackdown Superstars such as Rikishi, and Akio in action. Also, this past week Paul London has apparently been backstage looking for the man that assaulted him last time on Velocity. Will someone just tell this lunatic that he did it to himself? In Velocity's main event, Paul London will take on The FBI's Johnny Stamboli. Also, expect a blockbuster announcement from Bill DeMott that could very well shake the foundation of Velocity. Tune in to Spike TV this Saturday Night and watch Velocity, cause it's really not half as bad as this Preview would suggest!

Fantasy WWE Players

Post Your Velocity Predictions

PAUL LONDON vs JOHNNY STAMBOLI

[Chris2K]

I've got my own diary now, so I'm just a booking consultant. Of course, that still means I can't predict your matches, as I still know the results .

[maddog]

Stamboli wins...

[Essa]

WWE VELOCITY

Josh Mathews: What's up WWE fans? This is Josh Mathews here with Bill DeMott for WWE Velocity. How ya doin Bill?

Bill DeMott: Great. I get to spend another Saturday night with you.

Josh Mathews: Yeah, that really is great.

Bill DeMott: Wiseass. One of these days Josh, you're going to get it.

Josh Mathews: I'll believe it when I see it. But, now Bill the word on the street is that you've got a big announcement to make tonight.

Bill DeMott: You'll just have to wait and see about that Josh. But up now, we've got Rikishi against, this man already in the ring, Killer Cox.

RIKISHI VS KILLER COX

The "Too Cool" theme plays, as Rikishi steps out from behind the curtain, wearing a WWE T-Shirt, and his customary thong with RIKISHI spelled out on the back of them. He pats his ass on the way down to the ring, before attempting to step over the middle rope and into the ring where his opponent for tonight, Killer Cox, is waiting for him.

As Rikishi is stepping into the ring, Killer Cox places a boot in his momentarily exposed ribs. Killer Cox grabs Rikishi's hair and pulls him into the center of the ring. Killer Cox punches Rikishi in the head a few times, backing him up into the ropes. Killer Cox grabs Rikishi's arm and shoots him into the ropes. Rikishi comes back off of the ropes, and Cox foolishly goes for a Shoulderblock. Needless to say, Rikishi slams into Killer, knocking him flat on his ass. Rikishi stands there smiling, while Cox scampers away and gets himself back to a vertical state. Rikishi and Cox lock up in the middle of the ring. The two men fight for control, until Killer knees Rikishi in the gut, hunching the big man over. Killer Cox bounces off of the ropes, and goes to hit a High Knee on Rikishi, but Rikishi dodges it just in time.

Cox's momentum carries him to the other side of the ring, where he bounces off of the ropes again, but this time Rikishi catches him, and hits a Side Belly To Belly Suplex. Rikishi picks up Cox and chucks him into the corner. Rikishi tries to follow up with a clothesline in the corner, but Cox moves out of the way and Rikishi slams into the corner at full speed. Rikishi is teetering on his feet. Killer Cox sees this as his big opportunity, so he does a springboard off of the middle rope, and turns it into a Springboard Sunset Flip which is pretty impressive for a man the size of Killer Cox. But, he doesn't have enough power left in him to pull Rikishi down into a pinning predicament.

Rikishi wobbles on his feet for a second or two before dropping all of his weight onto the sternum of Killer Cox. Rikishi gets up, and then positions Killer Cox about a foot away from the bottom turnbuckle. Rikishi then climbs to the middle rope, and starts to bounce up and down on them. The fans start to cheer because they know that Killer Cox is about to get turned into a chunk of roadkill. Rikishi then swats at his ass again, before jumping off of the middle turnbuckle and hitting The Rump Shaker on the prone Killer Cox. Rikishi just sits there. One, Two, Three.

WINNER: RIKISHI

OR: 42

CR: 41

MQ: 44

Killer Cox didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating. Killer Cox is losing overness because of his weak gimmick.

Rikishi and Killer Cox work pretty well together due to their similar styles.

-*

Josh Mathews: Wow. That was not pretty, but Rikishi got the job done there against the newcomer Killer Cox.

Bill DeMott: And that is all that matters kid. As long as you get the one, two, three nothing else matters. But you wouldn't know anything about that...

Josh Mathews: What the hell is that?

Bill DeMott: Sounds like... that's "Devil's Child" by Judas Priest. And... look, that's Sean O'Haire. What's he doing here?

THE RETURN OF SEAN O'HAIRE

But before Rikishi can leave the ring, "Devil's Child" by Judas Priest plays. Then Sean O'Haire comes out, wearing a grey business suit, looking like he just came from Wall Street or some business meeting. He walks down the ramp, and then enters the ring where he calls for a microphone..

Sean O'Haire: Rikishi, I've got to say, that was impressive. The way you just came out here and demolished that guy was amazing. And you know what was even more amazing Rikishi?

Rikishi has an odd look on his face. He doesn't know what O'Haire's business out here is. He takes the microphone.

Rikishi: No, what?

O'Haire takes the microphone back.

Sean O'Haire: The crowd reaction that your getting. These people just eat up everything you do. It's like you have them in the palm of your hand. And, why is it that you have so much control over them? Is it because you come out here every night and bust your ass? Is it because of you being such a talented wrestler? Or is it because all your good at is coming out here and shaking your bulbus ass?

Rikishi rears back like hes going to deck Sean O'Haire.

Sean O'Haire: Whoa, hold on big man. I'm not out here to cause trouble. I'm out here to enlighten you about yourself, and about these people. The fact of the matter is this Rikishi. A long time ago when you were just starting here in the WWE, you would come out here, and give it 110% to entertain these people. But they didn't care. They wanted nothing to do with you. Every damn night you'd end up getting booed straight out of the arena. But now, years later you come back with one hundred extra pounds of fat injected into your ass, and now your one of the biggest WWE superstars... in more ways than one. These people don't care about Rikishi. They don't care about what you do in that ring. They care about you rubbing your ass in people's faces. What? Don't look so shocked. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. O'Haire waits a few seconds for people to absorb his old/new catchphrase. But there is one way to change that. You can turn your back on these people, like they did to you! Show them that you're more than just a walking, talking ass. Join me, Rikishi, on my quest to bring a new sense of reality to the WWE. Help me give everyone a reality check.

Rikishi takes the microphone.

Rikishi: I've got a better idea. How about I give YOU a reality check!

Rikishi goes for a big haymaker on Sean O'Haire, which Sean ducks. Rikishi spins around and catches a boot to the midsection. O'Haire then effortlessly hoists Rikishi overhead, and then hits him with an Inverted Death Valley Drive, called The Prophecy. Sean stares at Rikishi before shrugging his shoulders and going to the back.

OR: 73

Josh Mathews: Sean O'Haire is back in a BIG way. He just threw Rikishi like he was a cruiserweight!

Bill DeMott: We haven't seen him in a long time, but he's back now and he wants to give every Smackdown Superstar a reality check. I just hope he counts Tough Enough losers, and no talent announcers in that list.

DILLON ROBSON VS AKIO

Akio, fresh off his moderately successful appearance in Smackdown's Cruiserweight Battle Royal is going to face newcomer Dillon Robson. The two lock up in the middle of the ring, and the more powerful Robson wins the collar and elbow tie up by backing Akio up into the ropes. Dillon hits a few quick boots to the stomach of Akio before Irish Whipping him across the ring into the ropes. But instead of bouncing into the ropes, Akio jumps up onto the second rope and hits a Twisting Springboard Crossbody on Robson. Akio floats it into a cover. One... Robson powers out quickly and hops right back up to his feet. But Akio takes him right back down with a deep Japanese Arm Drag. And another... Robson gets up and again gets taken down by a Japanese Arm Drag.

Akio then turns himself around and keeps an Arm Bar locked in on Robson. Robson is in pain but he's fighting it off and trying to make it to the ropes. After about thirty five seconds of fighting, Robson makes it to the rope. He grabs the middle rope and starts pulling himself up, with the Arm Bar still locked in. Robson reaches his feet, but Akio still has him locked in something that once resembled an Arm Bar. Robson battles out of it, by hitting a Hook Kick out of nowhere on Akio! Akio is down on the mat holding his head. Robson climbs up the top turnbuckle and signals for his finisher, the Flying Elbow Drop, by patting his elbow. But the taunting gave Akio enough time to jump up to his feet, and hop up onto the second turnbuckle. Akio put his head between Robson's legs, and lifted Robson up onto his back. Akio hit's a Backdrop Driver from the second turnbuckle! Akio makes a pin attempt. One... Two... Three.

WINNER: AKIO

OR: 47

CR: 29

MQ: 65

Bill DeMott: This Dillon Robson was no match for Akio. Bill DeMott's turning point for tonight is this; Robson turned the momentum on Akio with that Hook Kick, but he went right into Akio's territory looking for that Elbow Drop. That's when Akio turned it around and hit his Backdrop Driver to get the win.

Josh Mathews: Very impressive, Bill.

Bill DeMott: Yeah, shut it kid. Bah, you know what? After this commercial break, it's time for my announcement.

DEMOTT'S "BIG" ANNOUNCEMENT

Bill DeMott: We're back here on Velocity, and I think now is as good of a time as any for me to make my announcement. Two weeks ago tommorow, I was watching the Raw brand's Sunday Night Heat. I know, I know, Velocity is much better. Anyway, I saw how their General Manager reinstated the Hardcore Title. And I got the id... Wait, you know what. Instead of telling you guys, I'll show you guys. So if you'll all turn your attention back to the Titantron, you'll see what I'm talking about.

DeMott points to the TitanTron where it shows DeMott walking into Paul Heyman's office. Heyman is busy doing some paperwork when he sees the shadow of a man reflecting off of his desk.

Paul Heyman: Chris Benoit, if you come one step closer I will have your ass fired and thrown in jail... Oh, excuse me. What can I do for you Bill?

Bill DeMott: Heh, sorry about that boss. I just had an idea for Velocity, and I wanted your approval for it.

Paul Heyman: Velocity? I don't know much about cars, but I can reccomend a good mechanic for you.

Bill DeMott: No, Smackdown's show on Saturday nights. Velocity.

Paul Heyman: Oh... Okay, go on.

Bill DeMott: Okay, well I was watching Heat tonight...

Paul Heyman: The movie with Al Pacino? Yeah, that's a good flick.

Bill DeMott: No, the Raw brand's Sunday Night show. But anyway, their General Manager, Steven Richards reintroduced the Hardcore Title as a Heat-specific title. So, I was thinking, if Heat can have it's own General Manager and it's own Title, why can't Velocity?

Paul Heyman: So you want me to let your show have it's own General Manager?

Bill DeMott: Well technically sir, it's your show. But yes, I do.

Paul Heyman: Fine, you know what Bill. I've got more important issues on my mind than Velocity right now. I've got a Rabid Wolverine and an Olympic Gold Medalist trying to take Brock Lesnar's Title. So Velocity is the least of my worries right now. You want there to be a Velocity General Manager, then fine, come up with some way to get a General Manager. But another title belt? I don't know what's going on on Raw, but Mr. McMahon has given us limitations, so to speak, about the creation of titles. So, you want a GM, you got one, but no new titles.

Bill DeMott: Okay, great. Thanks a lot boss.

The camera then goes back to Bill DeMott in the ring.

Bill DeMott: So, there you have it. There will be a Velocity General Manager! Now, at first I was going to just ask Paul Heyman to hire someone to come in for the job, but I'm surprised he's able to pay everyone elses check, nevermind ANOTHER persons. So I figured that we will make do with what we have. I asked around backstage as to who some people thought would make a good General Manager, and most of the wrestlers said "Someone who knows how to wrestle." Or "Someone that knows what it's like to be a full time wrestler." And who meets them standards? That's right, a wrestler. So I thought to myself, how could I crown the Velocity General Manager? And then it hit me. I'll have a Tournament to crown the Velocity General Manager. But not just any tournament. We want to crown the best of the best, not someone that just got lucky. So this tournament will be a TRIPLE elimination tournament featuring eight of Velocity's brightest stars. That's right, three strikes and you're out. These eight wrestlers will be... Paul London, Akio, Funaki, Johnny Stamboli, Mark Henry, Hardcore Holly, and two more wrestler's whose names I will be withholding. Oh, and just one more thing. This tournament starts NEXT WEEK. Johnny Stamboli, Paul London, consider this match tonight a warmup for what's to come.

Bill DeMott then gets out of the ring and goes backstage instead of heading back to the announce position.

Overall: 85

Josh Mathews: Wow, Velocity is going to get it's own General Manager. This tournament is going to be great! I can only guess who the two unnamed wrestler's are going to turn out to be. Wait, hold on, we've got a development backstage.

Whodunnit?

We go backstage where we see Paul London walking around backstage. But it's not the regular Paul London that we've all come to tolerate. This time Paul is wearing a checkered Sherlock Holmesesque trenchcoat over his ring gear, one of them old school detective hats, and he's got a tabacco pipe sticking out of his mouth. Eventually he walks passed the FBI where he stops.

Paul London: Good evening gentleman. I was just wondering if you three had a spare moment to help aid me in my investigation to discover who it was that attacked me last week.

Nunzio: Lemme a'handle this boys. You know you aint'a any good wit dealing with them authorities 'n all.

Paul London: Excellent. First of all wh...

Nunzio: Yanno somethin', first I gotta question I wantuh ask you. Why us? Whaddya think that the FBI is in on this?

Paul London: Well, it's elementary my dear Nunzio. You and your associates seem to be involved in some sort of illegal activity, and so far that is my only lead in this case at the moment. So that makes you, Charles, and Johnathan the prime suspects in this case. So, now, can I please ask you a few questions?

Nunzio: Notta until we speak with our lawyer. We'll see you in the ring.

Nunzio then instructs his stablemates to walk to the ring for Stamboli vs London, in tonight's main event.

Overall: 69

PAUL LONDON VS JOHNNY STAMBOLI W/ CHUCK PALUMBO AND NUNZIO

The two men start the match off by walking in circles around each other. Eventually London puts on a smirk, and extends his hand to Stamboli. Stamboli returns the smirk back to London and grabs his hand, only to pull him in and deliver a nasty ass Short Arm Clothesline that turns London inside out. Stamboli picks London up and nails him with a boot to the chest. Then Stamboli goes in with hard chops to the chest of London that back him up into the corner. Then Stamboli goes from chops to straight up punches in the face. Stamboli Irish Whips London into the opposite corner, but before London can crash into the turnbuckles, he slingshots himself up in the air over the back of Stamboli and on the way down London grabs the back of Stamboli's head dropping him with a modified neckbreaker.

But London could not capatilize on that move because he took this time to shake the cobwebs from the browbeating he had just received. By the time London got his shit together, Stamboli was up to his feet too. However, London still stayed on the offensive by hitting a boot to the midsection on Stamboli and whipping him into the ropes. On the rebound, London drops to a lateral position on the mat, which leads to Stamboli jumping over him. London springs back up onto his feet. Stamboli bounces off the ropes again, and this time London leap frogs up but Stamboli catches him on his shoulders and goes for a Powerbomb. No! London turns it into a quick hurricanranna.

Nunzio and Palumbo pop up onto the ring apron and grab at London. London fights out of their grasp, and hits a dropkick to both men with one foot hitting each man. It's the Dropsault! He goes to hit Stamboli with the moonsault, but Stamboli is standing up behind him. Stamboli grabs London out of mid air and military presses him. He hits the Fuggedaboutit! Stamboli arrogantly covers London. One... Two... Three!

Johnny Stamboli defeats Paul London

OR: 69

CR: 61

MQ: 77

**

Josh Mathews: Johnny Stamboli beat Paul London with help from his FBI buddies, but will Stamboli be able to get a win next week in the Velocity General Manager's Tournament? Tune in next week to find out.

Fade out.

[Essa]

VELOCITY AWARDS

BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT: PAUL LONDON VS JOHNNY STAMBOLI

WORST MATCH OF THE NIGHT: RIKISHI VS KILLER COX

BEST SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: DEMOTT'S ANNOUNCEMENT

WORST SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT: LONDON INTERROGATES THE FBI

SHOW MVP: PAUL LONDON

SHOW IDIOT: RIKISHI

Fantasy WWE Scores

Maddog gains one point for correctly predicting the main event.

Maddog's Score is -4

Starr's score is 0

[D-Extreme]

The main event was a good one. Overall I say Velocity was good as well.

Infact I like that return angle of Sean O Haire. During this peroid, he was on the verge of getting released. Though I wonder why they let him sit out the remainder of fall 2003 and then let him go in 2004. Why didnt they just use him up in Velocity like they do with Funaki and in his final match, job him with some cruiserweight(ala Raven vs Jeff Hardy) that way, both win...ok maybe not. I'm waiting to see what your gonna do to Sean. Seeing things, it seems like your instigating a revival in the early feud with him and Rikishi.

[Essa]

WWE SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT

Johnathan Coachman: Hello folks, it's time once again for Sunday Night Heat.

Al Snow: And we're getting off to a big start with our French comrades La Resistance taking on two members of the ever growing Babaganoosh family, Timmy and Tiny Babaganoosh.

Johnathan Coachman: Which one's which?

Al Snow: Does it even matter?

SPYDER & MATT FAIRLANE VS LA RESISTANCE'S RENE DUPREE & ROB CONWAY

The match starts off with Spyder and Conway in the ring. Spyder looks for a Test of Strength to start off the match but Conway wisely boots him in the stomach. Conway then hits a right hand right smack dab in the forehead of Spyder. Another right hand has Spyder backing up into the ropes. Conway whips Spyder into the ropes, and on the rebound Conway goes to hit a hiptoss on Spyder. But Spyder anchors himself, and attempts to hip toss Conway. Conway counters it by flipping all the way through and landing on his feet. Conway then uses his positioning to his advantage, by hitting a bulldog on Spyder. Conway then gets up and pulls Spyder up with him. Conway makes the tag into Dupree.

Al Snow: Tiny Babaganoosh is getting picked apart by La Resistance.

Johnathan Coachman: That's Tiny? He's bigger than Timothy!

Al Snow: Do I look like Big Daddy Babaganoosh? What the hell do I know?

The two men get in the ring and hook Spyder up. La Resistance hits a big Double Snap Suplex on Spyder leaving him holding his back on the ground. Dupree gets up and after a few stomps to the head of Spyder, he does the French Tickler which gets this match's only pop so far. Dupree picks Spyder up off the mat and Irish Whips him into the ropes. Fairlane makes a blind tag. Dupree hits a big powerslam on Spyder, but when he gets up he gets hit with a big Missile Dropkick from Matt Fairlane!

Al Snow: And little Timmy Babaganoosh just caught La Resistance off guard. We could see an upset here!

Fairlane makes the cover. One... Two... Conway hits the ring and goes to drop an elbow on Fairlane, but he moves and Conway connects with Dupree! Conway gets up and he's stunned by his mistake. Fairlane takes down Conway with a big dropkick. Fairlane gets back up and he motions for Conway to get up. With Conway still on the mat, Fairlane turns back to face Dupree, and boy does he regret it. Dupree scoops up Fairlane onto his shoulders, and Conway gets up. La Resistance hits Fairlane with their tandem finisher, the Au Revoir. Dupree then makes the cover on Fairlane. One... Two... Three.

Johnathan Coachman: Looks like these two are getting sent back to the Babaganoosh factory.

La Resistance's Rene Dupree & Rob Conway defeat Matt Fairlane and Spyder

OR: 54

CR: 41

MQ: 68

3/4*

VICTORIA... HARDCORE CHAMPION?

The camera goes to backstage inside Stevie Night Heat's General Manager's office. Steven Richards is inside laying down on his leather coach wearing just his ring gear and his Hardcore Title around his waist. Victoria then walks in the room and turns off the lights. But someone else sneaks in with her!

Victoria: Guess who?

Steven Richards: You don't sound like a pizza delivery boy.

Victoria then laughs and jumps on top of Steven.

Victoria: No, it's me silly!

We then hear very faintly the sound of a man counting. It's a referee! One... Two... Steven then rolls over so that he's on top of Victoria breaking up the count, and successfully defending his hardcore title (for the moment at least).

Steven Richards: Hey, I've got to get ready for my first Hardcore Title defense tonight against Spike Dudley. I've already made history once by being the only General Manager to hold a Title while in office, but tonight I'm going to start making more history. Tommy Dreamer may have tried to stop me from winning the Hardcore Title last week, but tonight I've got backup just in case he tries to help Spike win our match. Mark my words sugar, I'm going to be the longest reigning hardcore champion in WWE history baby.

Victoria: But baby I'm feeling kind of frisky... Can't your match wait?

Steven Richards: Damnit... No, I'm up soon. But don't worry baby, we can have a celebration later tonight after I win my match. Wish me luck.

Victoria frowns.

Victoria: Good luck. I'll be waiting for you.

OR: 81

Al Snow: It looks like Victoria is feeling frisky.

Johnathan Coachman: He's Big Stevie Cool, he could have postponed the match and got down to business with Victoria. Up next we're gonna take a look back at least week on Raw where Rob Van Dam defended his Intercontinental Championship against Chris Jericho.

Rob Van Dam vs Chris Jericho

Intercontinental Championship Match

From the second that Rob Van Dam and Chris Jericho are in the ring together, they don’t take their eyes off one another. They walk to meet face-to-face right in the centre of the ring. Both men stare right into each others eyes and talk trash, before Jericho leans back a little and goes to throw a right hand, which Van Dam blocks and instantly retaliates with a right of his own that finds its mark, right on the nose of Jericho. Jericho staggers back towards the ropes and Van Dam whips him across to the other side. Jericho bounces back off the ropes and ducks a clothesline, comes back across and ducks a backhand chop, Van Dam turns back around as Jericho bounces off the ropes for a third time and dives through the air with a flying forearm smash, which knocks Van Dam down.

Jim Ross: Both men had a short feeling out process to kick off this Intercontinental Championship Match, but Jericho got the better of it.

Jerry Lawler: Jericho is just a step ahead of Van Dam here.

Van Dam is quickly back to his feet but is staggering, as Jericho pushes him towards the ropes and Irish whips him across the ring. Van Dam rebounds back and is caught with a big Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker from Jericho. As Van Dam is laid flat out on his back in the middle of the ring, Jericho takes the opportunity to walk around the ring and taunt the crowd which is met with a loud chorus of boo’s. Jericho walks over to Van Dam and lifts him up by the hair. Jericho drags him over to the corner and pushes him into the turnbuckle. Jericho fires away with chops to Van Dam’s sternum, which the Beaumont crowd meets with a “YEEEHAW!” after each chop... or was that a "WHOOOOOOOO". Jericho whips Van Dam but doesn’t let go of him until the centre of the ring to gather more momentum, sending Van Dam collides with the turnbuckle sternum first. Van Dam lies in a slump in the corner of the ring clutching his throat as Jericho poses proudly in the middle of the ring. Jericho walks over to Van Dam and picks him up and again pushes him to the turnbuckle. Jericho is seemingly about to throw Van Dam to the turnbuckle again. As Jericho whips him, Van Dam reverses it and Jericho’s back hits the turnbuckle hard. So hard, in fact, Jericho bounces right back out and straight into a right hand. Jericho falls to the ground but is quickly back up, only to be met by a spin kick from Van Dam. Jericho is up again as Van Dam throws him to the ropes and takes his turn to plant Jericho with a massive Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker, as Van Dam kips back up to his feet.

Jerry Lawler: See, why does he have to do that? Van Dam didn't need to use that move right after Jericho did. He's just trying to show everyone up. It's really no wonder why Booker T doesn't like him anymore.

The crowd are going crazy, but Jericho is quickly up again and swings a right hand only for Van Dam to duck it and go for a standing heel kick on Jericho. Jericho ducks the heel kick and throws a punch at Van Dam. Van Dam blocks the punch and goes for a kick to Jericho's stomach. Jericho catches the foot and shakes his finger at Van Dam. Van Dam counters it with a Step Over Heel Kick. Van Dam continues to build momentum by hitting Jericho with the Rolling Thunder! Van Dam stays on the offense as he picks up Jericho only to knock him back down with a deep arm drag. Jericho is back up again and charges at Van Dam, but Van Dam is ready for it as he delivers another deep arm drag. Again, Jericho is back up but is met with yet another arm drag. Jericho is apparently frustrated as he rolls to the outside of the ring hoping to stop Van Dam's momentum. Van Dam follows Jericho to the outside, though, and continues his offense as he Irish whips Jericho into the guardrail. Van Dam charges at Jericho but is lifted up into the air, as Jericho drops him sternum first over the guardrail. Jericho picks up Van Dam again and drops him throat first on to the ring apron, leaving Van Dam to roll around on the concrete floor clutching his throat. Jericho rolls back into the ring and at the same time, the referee goes out of the ring to check on Van Dam.

Jim Ross: Come on Jericho, fight him like a man instead of taking the cheap way out.

Jerry Lawler: Jericho is destroying Van Dam. We're going to have a new Intercontinental Champion!

Jericho, the smart and cocky individual that he is, staggers to his feet and walks over to the center of the ring. Jericho then “collapses” back down to the canvas, as Van Dam slowly rolls back into the ring, followed by the referee. Van Dam kind of staggers towards the centre of the ring, where Jericho trips Van Dam up and quickly gets to his feet. Jericho still holds onto Van Dam, as he hooks him into the Walls of Jericho. Jericho leans back and really has it locked in, as Van Dam screams out in pain, trying to claw his way towards the ropes. After nearly a minute of agony, Jericho surprisingly releases the hold. As Van Dam slowly gets up, Jericho springs off the middle rope as Van Dam is on his hands and knees, and lands a Lionsault right across the back of Van Dam. Jericho goes straight to the cover. One... Two... Van Dam’s arm comes up off the canvas at the last split second. Jericho, now trying to build momentum of his own, picks Van Dam up and plants him back down with a Double Underhook Backbreaker. Again, Jericho goes for a cover. One... Two... But again Van Dam kicks out before the referee can count three. Jericho picks Van Dam back up and throws him to the ropes. Van Dam bounces back and Jericho catches him with the sleeping neckbreaker. Once again, Jericho goes for the cover and this time hooks the legs, but Van Dam still has too much left in him as he kicks out right before the three.

Jim Ross: Rob Van Dam is kicking out of every single thing that Jericho has to offer!

Jerry Lawler: Stay on him Jericho!

Jericho picks up the groggy Van Dam back to his feet, as Van Dam swings and misses a right hand, allowing Jericho to hook him up from behind and drive him to the canvas with a Front Russian Leg Sweep. Van Dam seems out of it as Jericho picks him up and throws him hard into the corner of the ring. Van Dam’s body is slumped in the corner as Jericho charges across the ring towards him with a front dropkick, only for Van Dam to dive out of the way at the last second, allowing Jericho to fly leg first into the ring post hard to a sickening thud.

Jerry Lawler: No! No!

Jim Ross: See that's the disadvantage to this high risk offense.

Jericho gets up and staggers back out from the corner of the ring clutching his leg, as he turns around and Van Dam takes him down with the Walls of Jericho! Jericho is in agony from behind in his own submission hold. Van Dam pulls Jericho back and really locks it in. After about thirty seconds, the referee picks up Jericho’s arm only for it to fall back down to the canvas. Again, the referee holds Jericho’s arm up and it falls back down to the canvas for a second time. The crowd are on their feet, cheering at the prospect of Jericho tapping out to his specialty. The ref, once again, holds up Jericho’s arm. But before the ref can let go of Jericho's arm Christian appears and hops up onto the ring apron. The referee drops Jericho's arm and starts to reprimand Christian. Van Dam keeps the hold locked in while the referee is busy, when someone runs in from the crowd. It's Booker T, dressed in street clothes. He gets into the ring, and Blasts Van Dam with a big Roundhouse Kick to the face much to the disapproval of all of the fans. Van Dam falls over after the sudden surprise of Booker T's interference. Booker pulls Van Dam up by his hair and then destroys him with a Book End that folds up Van Dam like an accordion. Booker then pulls Jericho on top of Van Dam before heading out of the ring and hightailing it out of there. Christian drops off of the apron allowing the referee to go back to work. The referee turns around and sees Jericho lying on top of Van Dam. One... Two... Three!

Jim Ross: Booker T just cost Rob Van Dam the match, and the Intercontinental Championship! Why Keeeng Why?!

Jerry Lawler: I don't know JR, but I love it! I knew Van Dam would get what he had coming to him. This is great.

Chris Jericho wins the Intercontinental Championship from Rob Van Dam

Overall:  90

Edited October 29, 2004 by Essa

[maddog]

Nice heat... Now.. for Raw preview~!...

Please?

[Essa]

WWE NEWS AND RUMORS

The WWE has recently beefed up its developmental program by signing two tag teams, and two singles wrestlers to developmental contracts. Their first move was to sign Tyson Dux, a veteran of Heat and Velocity squashes. Then Canadian born, Asylum was assigned to Ohio Valley Wrestling. The word on him is that he is a promising brawler with a build similar to Rhyno. Da Baldiez, a tag team that was pushed in ECW's dying days, was signed to a written contract and sent to Ohio Valley Wrestling. It is expected that Spanish Angel and Tony DeVito will be the first two called up to the main level out of the newly hired six. And the final two new developmentees is the tag team of the Dead President's, Boogalou and Low Ryda. These two will probably undergo gimmick changes before they are called up to the main roster.

In more Ohio Valley news, the WWE has "called up" Lucy, and have made it known to Jim Cornette that they would like to use him on WWE TV again. At the moment it appears that both Lucy and Cornette will work for Raw. Right now it is all but confirmed that Lucy will become the new valet for Test and Scott Steiner. We are not quite as certain as to what Jim Cornette's role will be. We have heard many different scenarios ranging from him being the new Raw General Manager, to him being a Heat Commentator, to him managing someone on Raw. Lucy is expected to debut on the next edition of Raw.

The WWE are considering breaking Johnny Stamboli away from the Full Blooded Italians for a singles push, after this tournament on Velocity. Management likes his size and his strength. Everyone backstage seems to think that he is a very calm, level headed person that is very easy to work with, and the general consensus is that it's just about time for him to start moving up the card.

Right now the plans on Smackdown for Kane are to get him back to where he was before his first face turn. They think that Kane can eventually draw more money than he is right now if he starts being written as the heartless monster that he once was. But, management thinks that Kane should be "seen and not heard", so they may give him a mouthpiece. First Jim Cornette was being considered, but he requested to be used on Raw instead. Currently the only heel managers on Smackdown are Shaniqua, Paul Heyman, and Dawn Marie. Paul Heyman already has his core of guys, so he is out of the question. And Dawn Marie, and Shaniqua just don't really seem like the type to be hanging around Kane. However, there are reports that Kane did ask for Shaniqua as a manager.

There has only been one recent backstage development, in regards to people being unhappy. And you would not believe who it is. Spike Dudley has been openly voicing his opinion about his direction. Apparently he wants to move a little bit up the card, instead of getting squashed every week on Heat. I don't see this as being too likely because Spike has lost to damn near everybody on the roster, women included. He does not have much credibility left.

Expect to start seeing more of Goldust and Lance Storm in the coming weeks. My sources tell me that they will play some role in the ongoing storyline between Rob Van Dam and Booker T. The details are sketchy at the moment, but they could be on TV again as soon as next weeks Raw.

And our final rumor concerns Sable and a Tough Enough finalist. During the (pretaped) Tough Enough contest, when the WWE Divas were visiting, apparently Sable hit it off with WWE hopeful Rodney Griffin. The two were together backstage at Smackdown last week. This could either mean one of two things. Either Rodney Griffin won Tough Enough, or Rodney Griffin and Sable are currently an item. I wonder what this would mean for Sable's relationship with Brock Lesnar?

[Essa]

WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW PREVIEW

Last week on Raw in the main event, Chris Jericho took the Intercontinental Championship from Rob Van Dam with assistance from Booker. This week on Raw we're going to kick off the show with the rematch. Chris Jericho will be defending his Intercontinental Championship against Rob Van Dam in a match that could very well see the Title change hands one more time.

Also on last week's Raw, Shawn Michaels presented Maven, Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade with a new manager. Oh, not just any new manager... Shawn gave them a ver y leggy woman, in Stacy Keibler, to help lead them. This group of young upstarts was happy about the news. But how will Test and Scott Steiner react to their "property" being stolen away from them? They can't be too happy, because they've already had a match signed for Raw that pits them against Shawn Michaels and Garrison Cade.

All week long Ric Flair has been promoting tonight as "Evolution's Night". He's been saying how Ric, Randy Orton and Batista are going to dominate their opponents this week just to show Triple H (who left Raw early last week in a foul mood) how powerful Evolution really is. So, tonight Randy Orton has a match with mat technician Lance Storm, and Batista, with Ric Flair in his corner, will battle Booker T.

Last week on Raw was Steve Austin's first week as Raw's sole General Manager, and he's already been making some rulings. He nullified Eric Bischoff's ruling that Divas can only participate in "specialty matches." And he's also threatened Chris Jericho with a suspension if he so much as talks about Trish Stratus. What will Steve Austin do tonight? Tune into Raw and find out.