WWE: The Suicide Diary

[Malenko]

This is the first diary i really get into.. The backstage scenes are also great.. Keep it up.

I'm starting to think about getting my own diary.

[Guest raze0811]

October 10, 2003

Credit: 1popup.com

RAZE NO LONGER HEAD WWE WRITER?

The big news coming out of WWE this week is the removal of the man we have come to call “Raze” from head writing duties over both the Raw and SmackDown brands. The latest reports have indicated that Vince McMahon, chairman and CEO of WWE,  has decided that Raze will only write for the SmackDown brand. Another team is in place at the moment writing for the Raw brand. Raze is apparently very disappointed in this decision, commenting to close friends that he “could have done so much with the Raw brand.”

For the past three weeks, professional wrestling insiders have been running rampant with their coverage of the suicide of World Wrestling Entertainment head writer Brian Gerwitz, which also received its share of mainstream news coverage as well. A big question among wrestling fans was who would be elevated to the role of head writer in the wake of the tragic death. Industry insiders were stunned that an unknown like Raze, who apparently has no experience in this industry other than being a long time fan, would get such a major job for the company. Many reporters have speculated that Vince McMahon may have in fact simply decided that maybe an actual fan should be the one doing the booking.

In any case, having only been on the job for two weeks, Raze has already had the rug pulled out from under him by this decision. Other sources inside WWE claim another possible reason for the reduction in duties may have been the fact that Raze has been speaking his mind in terms of his strong opposition to many of Vince McMahon’s ideas and creative input. More on this as it develops.

[Guest raze0811]

Saturday October 10, 2003

When I think of all the things I would actually enjoy doing on a Saturday morning, strangely enough an impromptu meeting with Vince McMahon at his office did not show up on that list. Nevertheless, only two weeks into my WWE employment, still angered that I would not be booking Raw, that is where I found myself.

The secretary was painting her nails and could not be bothered by me. She just waved me into Vince’s office without so much as looking up or buzzing him. Keeping in mind my track record for bursting into this office, I knocked very loudly and slowly opened the door.

Vince McMahon looked startled. So did Triple H. They were seated on a plush sofa on one end of the office, both wearing terrycloth bathrobes. Although Triple H’s robe was pink and Vince’s was white. Triple H had been lying with his head in Vince’s lap. He looked very relaxed as he smoked a cigarette. Vince had been running his fingers through Triple H’s hair.

Me:

“Oops. I must be early again.”

Vince McMahon:

“Nope. You’re right on time. This won’t take but a minute, so Triple H stays. We’re in the middle of something.”

Me:

“Looks like you already finished.”

Triple H:

“I’M GONNA SNAP YOUR SPINE LIKE A . . . . . A . . . . . .. LIKE SOMETHING THAT SNAPS REAL EASY!!!!!”

Vince McMahon:

“Relax, Hunter. Raze . . . . . . I’ve been pretty much staying out of your business, right?”

Me:

“Well, if you don’t count dragging me around town with you and telling me who to hire, then yeah, you’re doing a good job staying out of it.”

Vince McMahon:

“Well, you see, maybe I wasn’t very forthright with you. Why on Earth would you job Big Show and A-Train on the same night to one man? Do you know how important it is to me that we build them UP? Not DOWN?”

Me:

“Come on. We’re talking Big Show and A-Train here.”

Vince McMahon:

“They happen to be two of my favorite workers. Your job here does not give you the right to destroy my biggest stars’ careers. I want them pushed. I want them to be the dominant force I intended them to be. Am I making myself clear?”

Me:

“Vince, this is out of control. You can’t possibly . . . . .”

Vince McMahon:

“I can possibly. Do you want to lose SmackDown like you lost Raw?”

Me:

“I lost Raw because I don’t keep my mouth shut and kiss your ass like everybody else around here. Not because I’m a bad writer.”

Triple H:

“HEY!!!!!! NOBODY TOUCHES THAT ASS BUT ME!!!!”

Vince pats Triple H on the head.

Vince McMahon:

“He means figuratively, hon. Not literally.”

Triple H:

“Oh . . . .”

Triple H looks confused but chooses not to say anything else. I feel dumber just for looking at him.

Vince McMahon:

“You lost Raw because you obviously don’t know how to run a successful product. And because you’re not a very good team player.”

Me:

“I’m a great team player. I just evidently am not a very good Vince player.”

Triple H:

“YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND LISTEN TO THE BOSS?”

Me:

“How ironic. I move up by shutting my mouth and you move up for opening it.”

Triple H:

“HEY!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE A SKUTASTIC REMARK!!!!”

Me:

“Sarcastic.”

Triple H:

“THAT TOO!!!”

Me:

“Sarcastic. You said skutastic. That’s not a word. You meant to say sarcastic. “

Triple H:

“NO I MEANT SKUTASTIC!!!!! I’M AN ENIGMA!!!!!”

Me:

“Whatever.”

Vince McMahon:

“Look, this is getting out of hand. Bottom line is you’re going to reestablish Big Show and A-Train’s credibility. You understand? I’m telling you to push them. I’m not asking.”

Me:

“You do realize you’re never going to climb out of this hole unless you open your eyes and have a look around? I mean seriously. You do know that right?”

Vince McMahon:

“You have your instructions. Now go make it happen.”

Me:

“Later.”

I stepped out of the office, walked past the spaced out secretary, and stopped in the long corridor leading back to the elevator. I took out my cell phone. If Vince wanted to play hardball, I’d give him hardball. I dialed a number and put the phone to my ear.

Me:

“Yeah? Eddie Guerrero please . . . . . . . . . . . . . {short pause} . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . yeah, Eddie? It’s Raze. Listen, I have a proposition. . . . .”

Edited May 13, 2004 by raze0811

[Guest raze0811]

Sunday November 14, 2004

~~ A cold night breeze picks up again. It has been quiet and still for the last few minutes so this catches me off guard. I have started to go dizzy from looking down at the ground. I cautiously sit down on the ledge and dangle my feet in the air. The feel of the gravity and the enormity of the fall seem so monumental. I cannot believe it has come to this.

As my mind retraces that day in Vince's office when he pretty much ordered me to push Big Show and A-Train, I wonder why I ever took that job. I knew of course how Vince McMahon was. I had read about him. I had a clue on his ego. But it was amazing how he could transition so quickly between the serious minded businessman with a consistently fading business sense and the nympho Triple H lover that spouted pet names like catchphrases and wrestled in tubs full of baby oil.

So, he had commanded me to push Big Show and A-Train. I had made a phone call to Eddie Guerrero. As much as I hated what was to be done I had reassured Eddie that I would make it worthwhile in the long run. He seemed reluctant but agreed. I had hung up and thought about my first two weeks as WWE head writer. Was it worth it? I felt like I was already losing my sanity. Being forced to put on a bland wrestling product I could probably endure, but constantly baring witness to the blossoming love affair between Mr McMahon and Triple H was eating away at me. And what was worst was that when I left Vince's office, I ran into somebody I had been trying to avoid. ~~

Saturday October 11, 2003

Mind still reeling, I took the elevator to the lobby of Titan Towers and started toward the parking lot. I was stopped short halfway across the lobby, with my car in sight just outside. Linda McMahon was standing before me, face grim. Her lips were pressed tight into a thin little line and her eyes burned with a combination of intensity and hatred. Hatred for what? For me? For Vince? Both?

Linda:

"Outside."

I followed her like a wounded puppy, not sure what to expect. Once outside, we stood out of sight of the receptionist in the lobby.

Linda:

"I hired you to do a job."

Me:

"Mrs. McMahon, I told you. I have to decline that job now. Conflict of interest."

Linda:

"You only interviewed with the WWE to try to get in there and catch a glimpse of my husband. You had a specific duty."

Me:

"I will refund the money you paid me for that one day if you want. But he offered me a better job and I took it."

Linda:

"I have a marriage that I would like to salvage if I can. But if my husband is having an affair it is important to me to find out. I do not want to try to salvage anything if he is desecrating that marriage. This is important to me. Critical. I hired you to gather information for me. You swore you were a man who stood by your work and took it seriously. I believed you."

She had me there. I always took pride in my business ethics. But Vince's seven digit salary had blinded me. But then again, what had I really done? Left a shitty job for a better one? What was the problem with that? But then again, had I not previously agreed to gather this information for Linda? I was torn. I did not know what to do.

Me:

"Look, I can't have this conversation."

Vince:

"What conversation?"

We both turned, shocked. Vince had walked right up toward us. He stood there with an unreadable expression. How long had I been o the phone with Eddie Guerrero? How long had I been talking to Linda? Obviously long enough for Vince to finish up with Triple H and come downstairs. How much had he heard? The little color in Linda's face was draining before my eyes.

Me:

". . . . . . . ."

Edited May 14, 2004 by raze0811

[Guest raze0811]

Saturday October 11, 2003

And at that point, things went from bad to worse.

Big Show:

"Yo!! George!! Me speak with you!!"

I looked the other way. Where the hell had Big Show come from? He was wearing a sleeveless button up cowboy style shirt, but his absolutely engorged belly had already broken three of the buttons over his stomach area. I noted he was carrying a very large drumstick that already had several missing chunks. Was it a turkey wing? I'm not sure to this day.

Vince:

"Not now, Paul."

Big Show:

"Me talk to George."

Vince:

"We're occupied."

Big Show:

"ME TALK!!!!!!!!"

Linda grabbed Vince's arm and pulled him aside where they began speaking in a heated whisper. I only heard fragmented parts of their conversation . . . . .

Linda:

"You . . . . . . . me . . . . . . . . . that . . . . . . . . . . never . . . . . . ."

Vince:

"Only . . . . . . . . times . . . . . . . . . all . . . . . . . . . ."

I couldn't make heads or tails out of their conversation with just those words. But I still had Mr. Paul Wight to deal with.

Show looked mad. Real mad.

Big Show:

"Me mad."

He then proceeded to take a huge bite of the drumstick, and huge chunks of meat were sticking in and out of the spaces between his teeth. He chewed one time and began talking, with huge wads of meat spitting out as the words came out.

Big Show:

"Me no more lose!!!!! Me win!!!!"

He was literally screaming. His face had gone red and he began beating the drumstick against the unfortunate car that happened to be parked right next to where we were standing.

Big Show:

"Show smash!!!!!"

Me:

"Are you okay, Paul?"

Big Show:

"Vince said Paul win next match!!! He said me win!!!! Me win!!!!"

Me:

"Dude, you need to keep your voice below sound barrier, okay? I'm right in front of you."

Big Show began hitting me in the chest with his drumstick. Not so much out of anger it seemed, but to drive home a point.

Big Show:

"Me {BANG!!} WIN {BANG!!} NEXT {BANG!} MATCH {BANG!!}"

To my dismay, Show stopped beating things with the drumstick long enough to take another huge bite.

Me:

"Paul, we can talk in my office about your character, okay?"

Show flexed his arms. Vince had turned to say something to me. Vince took a direct shot of drumstick to the eye.

Vince:

"Owww!!!!!! Son of a bitch!!!!! Son of a motherless leprosy infected non-humanoid cave dwelling bitch!!!! Jesus, my eye!!!! My fucking eye!!!!"

At that, Big Show seemed to forget his anger and get rather paternal. He stuck his drumstick under his arm and grabbed Vince, hoisting him up in standard "damsel in distress" fashion.

Big Show:

"Vince no worry! Show get medi . . . . .med . . . . medicineal . . . .med . . . ."

Me:

"Medical . . . ."

Big Show:

"Show get medical treatment for Vince!! Show help!!! Good Show!!!"

I then watched in disbelief as Paul marched off toward the lobby doors of Titan Towers. Vince was waving his arms wildly.

Vince:

"Put me the fuck down!!!! Down, boy!! Put me down!!! Oh shit, my fucking eye!!!!"

Again, I had watched the calm collected business-like Vince McMahon degenerate into a maniac before my very eyes.

Big Show:

"Show help and Vince stop cursing after that. Vince reward Show with big win on SmackDown! Show help Vince."

Once again, Linda McMahon and I were alone.

Linda:

"Listen here. I told him we were arguing over creative differences. He doesn't know why I originally hired you. But you had damn well better do your job or I will bring you down! Do you get me?"

Me:

"That sounds like a threat, Linda."

Linda:

"You take it for what it sounds like. I'm through talking to you for today. You get the dirt on my husband and give it to me. "

Edited May 14, 2004 by raze0811

[Guest Demon2K4]

My favorite diary on EWBIV besides Dukes' and the Battle Royal thing. I don't care at all for the shows, but the backstage stuff is brilliant. I love it. The chicken drive-in thing was priceless, and the whole suicide thing interests me alot. Good job here, man.

[Guest raze0811]

My favorite diary on EWBIV besides Dukes' and the Battle Royal thing. I don't care at all for the shows, but the backstage stuff is brilliant. I love it. The chicken drive-in thing was priceless, and the whole suicide thing interests me alot. Good job here, man.

←

Thanks for the reply. What exactly about the shows do you not like? If its the angles and whatnot, just keep in mind this diary picks up right after Brock Lesnar took the WWE title from Kurt in that Ironman match. For the sake of realism, I am tying up the real angles before I move on. Its not like a clean slate or anything.

Then again, if you just don't like my style or something, I guess thats a different story. At this point I've only posted two shows. In my opinion, I think they get better.

To everybody else who has posted so far, thanks, I appreciate every comment and kind word. Makes me glad to know my writing makes people laugh.

[TheArsenal]

Raze - you have to realise that your backstage segments (the stuff starring you and Vince) is really funny. It's good stuff. That is drawing people to the thread - which is good because it means people are reading your journal.

The problem might be that because they are so good people are overlooking your shows because they want the laughs and the humour involved with the other side of the diary. I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong - because I read your shows and they are good, but they do not involve the humour that your other posts do, which is as they should be.

Your posts are very different depending on whether they are shows or not, and the different types of shows are attracting different types of readers.

[Guest Demon2K4]

Thanks for the reply. What exactly about the shows do you not like? If its the angles and whatnot, just keep in mind this diary picks up right after Brock Lesnar took the WWE title from Kurt in that Ironman match. For the sake of realism, I am tying up the real angles before I move on. Its not like a clean slate or anything.

Then again, if you just don't like my style or something, I guess thats a different story. At this point I've only posted two shows. In my opinion, I think they get better.

To everybody else who has posted so far, thanks, I appreciate every comment and kind word. Makes me glad to know my writing makes people laugh.

←

It's nothing against you personally. It's just I prefer more detailed results myself. There's nothing wrong with your booking at all, it's just the way I am. And as for continuing the angles in real life, i'm all for that. Like I said, nothing personal. I have never read (On EWB3) past the chicken drive-in part, so believe me when I say I WILL keep reading to see how much better the show's get. Anyway, in closing, this rules. B)

[Steve Corino]

I'd just started reading this right before EWB3 went down, and never took a chance to respond. It's quite good, though I didn't much like how Show is a raving neanderthal....but this is the internet, and something like that is to be expected.

[Guest raze0811]

SmackDown! October 16, 2003

Overall Rating: 77%

Attendance: 7049

TV Rating: 4.91

Segment 1: Match

Cruiserweight Title: Spanky© vs Ultimo Dragon

Rating: 77/62/92

As expected, this match impressed the crowd. Spanky started with some fast kicks and some fancy top rope maneuvers. Ultimo scored back with a sitdown powerbomb after countering a spinning heel kick from Spanky. Ultimo tried unsuccessfully to put Spanky away with a lariat that he followed through with and ended in a bulldog. The crowd was coming alive as Spanky staged a comeback and was about to land the Big Spank but Ultimo scored a well timed evasive maneuver. As things were really coming to a head, the shocked audience witnessed the unthinkable – Kid Kash emerged from the crowd, making his first WWE appearance, and took both men down with a flying double clothesline and then proceeded to beat the two weakened wrestlers. As he continued to stomp them, Jerry Lynn emerged, running down the ramp. He appeared to be attempting to make a save – but then started stomping away along with Kid Kash! The crowd booed as Lynn and Kash raised each other’s arms as if in victory.

Segment 2: The Save?

Rating: 74%

The crowd cheers as Undertaker is shown backstage, arriving at the arena. He is carrying his bag into the arena, up a concrete walkway. Off to the side is Brock Lesnar. The crowd boos as Lesnar is shown. Taker’s path crosses very near Lesnar. Brock has a sinister smile on his face and does not take his eyes off of The Undertaker.

Brock Lesnar:

“How’s it going, Taker?”

Undertaker:

“Its been a good day until I saw you.”

Brock Lesnar:

“Who are you kidding? You haven’t had a good day in months. You’re just a relic around here. A jealous relic who stands no chance at MY title.”

The Undertaker leans in close to Brock’s face.

Undertaker:

“Enjoy your smug attitude, boy. Because after No Mercy, that title is mine, and you will NEVER get a shot at it as long as I hold it.”

Undertaker pats Brock’s shoulders in mock tenderness and turns to leave. Suddenly, Brock becomes furious and swings a fist at the back of Taker’s skull. Taker grunts and falls to his knees. Brock grabs Taker’s own bag and swings it at Taker’s head, striking him. Taker falls to the concrete and Brock stands over him and begins stomping him.

Suddenly, the crowd goes ballistic when Kurt Angle arrives on the scene and hits Lesnar with several closed right hands. Brock staggers backwards and then flees the scene, as Taker is already getting up and it has become a 2 on 1 event. Taker looks a little surprised at seeing Kurt Angle saving him.

Undertaker:

“Don’t think for a second that I owe you.”

Kurt Angle:

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Like I want a favor or something . . . . I just want the WWE Title. And I don’t want any excuses from you or Brock when I win it. The exact kind of excuse that Brock’s attack would have provided you.”

Undertaker:

“Like I said. . . . . “

{Commercial Break}

Segment 3: Interview with Kurt Angle

Rating: 89%

Josh Matthews was standing backstage with Kurt Angle when SmackDown! Returned from commercial break . . .

Josh Matthews:

“Kurt Angle, we have seen you and Undertaker at each other’s throats for weeks now. Tonight you saved Undertaker from Brock Lesnar. Where do you see this whole situation headed?”

Kurt Angle:

“I see it headed one way, Josh.”

Kurt Angle holds up one finger to emphasize his point.

Kurt Angle:

“Sunday this little tri-feud is going to see its conclusion. I have fought Undertaker. I have fought Brock Lesnar. I have defeated both men. Sunday I will have both men in the same ring. Make no mistakes, this will be a big night. I want to wake up Monday morning and roll over and look at my beautiful title lying beside me and just enjoy the moment, you know. I don’t want to have to get up to answer the phone and listen to Undertaker explain to me that the only reason he lost was because of a coward-hearted attack by Brock three days before our big match. I guess you could call it insurance. I want to rest assured that I won’t hear any whining about our match next week on SmackDown. So, to answer your question, I see this situation ending with myself, Kurt Angle, your Olympic Hero, the ONLY gold medalist in the WWE, standing victorious over the would-be but cant-be WWE Champions. That . . . . . that is so damn true it hurts.”

Kurt Angle cracks his neck and walks off camera.

Josh Matthews:

“Well, there you have it, folks.”

Segment 4: Match

Chris Benoit vs Tajiri

Rating: 84/75/94

Still furious from his defeat last week at the hands of John Cena, Benoit screamed into the mic pre-match that he dared AJ Styles to come out during his match with Tajiri. While saying that, Tajiri attacked him from behind and pummeled him to the mat. As he tried to recover, Tajiri worked over him and maneuvered him into the corner where he stomped and kick. A reversed whip to the opposite corner gave Benoit somewhat of a temporary advantage before an eye rake from Tajiri opened the door for an attempt at the Tarantula. Benoit battled free with some well-placed elbows, but Tajiri chopped him in the throat to break his momentum. As Benoit reeled, Tajiri geared up and spit the mist, but Benoit ducked just in time. Catching Tajiri off guard, Benoit locked on the Crossface and soon had Tajiri tapping out.

As soon as Benoit stood, AJ Styles made his appearance by rushing with a steel chair. Benoit ducked and tosses AJ over the top rope to the floor. The crowd popped as Benoit leaped out after him and AJ Styles retreated up the ramp.

Segment 5: Steph Sets The Main Event

Rating: 83%

The scene cut abruptly to the office of Stephanie McMahon. She sat at her desk with her arms folded, looking like a 200-pound turkey stuffed into a leather bag made for a 20-pound turkey. She smiled and said into the camera:

Stephanie:

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you know, we here at SmackDown are committed to bringing you top-notch entertainment on a weekly basis. We are three days away from No Mercy as you are well aware. Therefore it is my duty to give you all a little preview of what to expect when Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle, and Undertaker step foot into that ring on the big night. Tonight, you will get that small taste of the main event. I am officially announcing that tonight, you will see, in Tag Team action, Kurt Angle and Undertaker battle Brock Lesnar and John Cena.”

The scene fades out to go to commercial.

{Commercial Break 2}

Segment 6: Match

WWE Tag Title Match

Los Guerreros© vs Basham Brothers

Rating: 75%

It was the battle of the cheaters. The Bashams made frequent use of the switch tactic, where one brother would slip out and the other in while the ref was distracted or in a position to not notice. The Guerreros battled fiercely however. At the beginning it was all Bashams, as they double-teamed first Eddie then Chavo. Danny worked Chavo in the corner, including kicks, stomps, and elbows to the forehead. Chavo rolled around a roundhouse puncha nd came back with a guillotine bulldog on the top rope that floored Danny. Chavo made the hot tag to Uncle Eddie, who cleared house with both opponents until getting tripped up by Shaniqua. Capitalizing on the distraction, the Bashams executed a double powerbomb but Chavo made the save with a double arm clothesline. All four men battled in the ring until Danny got flipped out the ring, Chavo somersaulted over the rope to take him out, and Eddie hit the Frog Splash on Doug and picked up the win.

Segment 7: It Won’t Be That Easy

Rating: 82%

Chris Benoit was shown walking with his head high backstage. He passed a random stagehand and nodded to him.

Stagehand:

“Hey, Chris, great match out there. Love the Crossface!!”

Chris Benoit:

“Thanks, son. All in a night’s . . . . .. OOOFFFFFF!!!!!!!!”

Benoit stumbles forward from an off-camera blow. The camera pans to show AJ Styles standing by with a steel chair. Chris Benoit falls to the floor and Styles nails him with the chair again.

AJ Styles:

“It’s not that easy, Chris! You’re not gonna humiliate me and walk out the arena under your own power, Chris! What do you think? You can fling me out the ring and just waltz on out of here?!?”

AJ Styles nails Chris Benoit with the chair again . . . Benoit is gasping for breath and trying to get up but the constant flurry of chair shots keeps him going back down to the concrete. AJ Styles kicks him over onto his back and drives the chair into Benoit’s ribs several times.

AJ Styles:

“How you doing now, Chris? Still basking in your pathetic victory over Tajiri? Come on Chris, answer me!!!!!!”

Suddenly a barrage of security guards makes it on the scene and they surround AJ Styles, effectively keeping him from getting to Benoit, not that he doesn’t try. Finally he just throws the chair aside and walks off, his point made.

AJ Styles:

“You just wait till I get you in that ring . . . .”

Segment 8: Colossal Challenge

Rating: 74%

The scene cuts to another backstage area where Los Guerreros are celebrating their victory as they walk back toward their dressing room.

Eddie Guerrero:

“Hey, Essa, look, we kept our titles!!!!”

Chavo Guerrero:

“Basham Brothers!!! I spit on their names!!!”

Eddie points to the ground before him.

Eddie Guerrero:

“Hey, better be careful where you spit homes, you might accidentally get some of it on their careers, hombre!!!”

Their faces suddenly go serious when the Big Show and A-Train step in front of them. The crowd boos. The two big men stand there with their arms folded, grim expressions on their faces.

Eddie Guerrero:

“Looky, looky, nephew! Its Big Show and A-Train. Big Show standing there trying to look menacing! A-Train standing there trying to look . . . . hairy.”

Chavo Guerrero:

“Hairy!!!!!!”

A-Train:

“Hey, why don’t you two jokesters just shut your mouths for two damned seconds?”

Eddie Guerrero:

“Fighting words, chico.”

A-Train:

“You see, we have a little problem here. Big Show and I bust our asses just like everybody else around here and we get no respect. So how’s about at No Mercy you put your titles on the line against a couple of real men?”

Eddie Guerrero:

“You want a shot at . . . . OUR . . . . tag team titles?”

Chavo Guerrero:

“Yo man, the answer is no. You can ask us respectfully or get out of our faces.”

Eddie Guerrero:

“Yeah, what he said, homes.”

A-Train:

“What’s the matter? Our sizes scare you? Too afraid you just don’t measure up to the WWE’s own runaway train and the WWE’s biggest superstar?”

Eddie Guerrero:

“Figures you know how big he is. I bet you do. “

Chavo Guerrero:

“Yo Uncle Eddie, I think there was a penis reference in there somewhere.”

A-Train:

“Figures. Like I said, you two just don’t measure up. You’re . . . . . . teeny . . . . . I guess you could say.”

Eddie Guerrero:

“Yo man, you want a shot at this right here at No Mercy? “

Chavo Guerrero:

“Bring it then.”

Los Guerreros walk off as they pat their titles. Big Show and A-Train look at each other and smile.

Big Show:

“Show . . . . . . .SMASH!!!!!”

{Commercial Break}

Segment 9: Match

Billy Kidman vs Charlie Haas vs Scotty 2 Hotty vs Matt Hardy

For a Shot at the U.S. Title

Rating: 74%

It was announced before the contestants were called to the ring that whoever won this Four Corners match would get a shot at John Cena’s U.S. Title at No Mercy.

Charlie Haas dominated early with amateur style arm drags and takedowns on the other competitors. Scotty 2 Hotty broke that up when he nailed a bulldog from behind. Matt Hardy unloaded on Scotty and Billy with lefts and rights for each. Billy hit a hurricanarana on Matt as Scotty went to the ropes and took him out with a flying body press. Matt ended up outside the ring brawling with Haas, ending with Hass getting Irish whipped into the corner post. Billy threw Scotty over the top rope into Matt and they both went down. Billy waited for the crowd to stand and hit a moonsault from the top rope taking all three down in one mass. In the ring, Matt got the upper hand on Scotty with a Twist of Fate but the pin was broken up by Billy Kidman who leveled him with a DDT and went for the Shooting Star, only to get knocked from the rope by Charlie Haas. Haas locked Matt in the Haas of Pain but Scotty 2 Hotty hit the unsuspecting Haas with The Worm and picked up the surprise victory via pinfall.

At No Mercy, Scotty 2 Hotty will challenge John Cena for the U.S. Title.

Segment 10: Confrontation

Rating: 80%

Backstage, Marc Lloyd was standing by with Rey Mysterio, who received a pretty decent pop as he stood on camera.

Marc Lloyd:

“Rey, as we all know, you will be meeting Rhyno in the ring in three days time at No Mercy. We can all see the size difference that exists between the two of you. What is your plan for dismantling the man-beast come this Sunday?”

Rey Mysterio:

“Now Marc, if I had some great plan and revealed it, it would just defeat the whle purpose wouldn’t it? But the fact of the matter is, I have no elaborate plan. No elaborate strategy. I plan to go out there and inflict enough damage to Rhyno that when I try to pin him . . . . he stays down. However I can get that damage inflicted is fine with me. All I care about is getting it done.”

Marc Lloyd:

“Well, we can all expect Rhyno to try to use his size against you. Surely, your very quickness and agility could . . . . . .”

Rhyno:

“Whoa Whoa Whoa, hold it right there, Lloyd . . . . . “

The fans boo as Rhyno steps into view of the camera. Rey turns to face him, a look of fiery determination in his eyes.

Rhyno:

“The fact of the matter is, there is nothing this poor sap can do to beat me on Sunday. He will be showing up for a funeral. Basically. A funeral for his poor career that dies before its time.”

Rey Mysterio:

“I’ve defeated you before, Rhyno. Don’t act so smug.”

Rhyno:

“You defeated me in a tag team match and it was a fluke. You are just a little man who is fun to watch fly around the ring, but in the presence of true greatness such as myself, is nothing more than fodder.”

Rey Mysterio:

“We’ll see, won’t we?”

Rey stands looking up at Rhyno and does not back away. Rhyno grins as he slowly backs away.

Rhyno:

“Yes . . . . . we will. . . . . . This Sunday.”

{Commercial Break}

Segment 11: Match

Undertaker and Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar and John Cena

Rating: 82%

Undertaker and Angle looked off to a bad start immediately as they nitpicked over who should start the match. Brock Lesnar and John Cena had a good laugh before it was finally decided that Undertaker would start. He started opposite Cena. Taker consistently blocked Cena’s offensive and threw him back into his own corner, trying to get Cena to tag Lesnar. Lesnar smirked and did nothing. Finally Cena scored an eye gouge that allowed him to work in some offensive. Taker made the tag to Angle, who began laying into Cena with right hands, then spun around and struck Lesnar out of principle. The crowd popped.

Lesnar, furious, tried to jump in the ring but the ref stood in his way, and Angle taunted him, alllowing Cena to roll him up from behins for a near fall. After Angle kicked out, Cena began hitting suplexes and throws, then tagged in Lesnar. The fans went ballistic as Angle and Lesnar came face to face and then began exchanging lefts and rights rapidly. Lesnar whipped Angle to the ropes and Cena kicked him in the back. Kurt, hurt, fell victim to a devastating powerbomb courtesy of Brock Lesnar. Brock went for a pin but only got a two count. Brock tagged in Cena who continued the assault on Kurt for several minutes, getting several near falls in the process. Finally Angle earned a breather when he managed to drop toe hold Cena who hit his chin on the bottom turnbuckle. As Cena got back up, Angle made the hot tag.

Taker came in on fire. He floored Lesnar and Cena over and over, delivered a spinebuster to Cena and then an arm drag to Lesnar. He clotheslined Cena over the rope but then Lesnar was raining down on him with kicks and stomps. Angle tried to deliver a body press from the top to help his partner but Lesnar moved and Angle struck Taker. Lesnar laughed and then Taker clotheslined Lesnar over the top rope. Taker shoved Angle who shoved Taker back. They were about to fight each other when Cena came in and hit both of them, sending Angle over the top rope to the floor. Angle and Lesnar began brawling and Undertaker hit the Last Ride on Cena to pick up the pinfall victory for his team.

After the match, Lesnar attacked Taker, and Kurt was not far behind in attacking Lesnar. With Lesnar down, Taker turned on Angle and started hitting him. Taker floored Angle only to have Brock deliver the F5 to Taker. Angle stood up and also fell victim to an F5.

Brock stood tall over his two No Mercy opponents as SmackDown faded to black.

Quick Results

Cruiserweight Title: Spanky© vs Ultimo to a No Contest

Chris Benoit d. Tajiri

WWE Tag Title: Los Guerreros© d. The Basham Brothers

Scotty 2 Hotty  d. Billy Kidman, Charlie Haas, Matt Hardy for a PPV U.S. Title shot

Undertaker & Kurt Angle d. John Cena & Brock Lesnar

Edited May 17, 2004 by raze0811

[Guest raze0811]

Saturday October 18, 2003

Vince McMahon:

“So . . . . . . how’s it going?”

Me:

“Errr . . . . . Good I guess? Why am I suddenly scared?”

We were sitting in Vince’s office. It was Saturday. I had things I would much rather be doing and places I would much rather be . . . . . Like dousing myself in gasoline . . . . in the middle of a burning house. But no . . . . . I had to be here in Vince’s office instead of burning to death. Sometimes life sucked.

Vince McMahon:

“Scurred? Don’t be scurred.”

Me:

“Scurred? Have you been watching VH1 or something?”

Vince McMahon:

“No . . . . Haha. I’m gonna become a hipster on SmackDown. Feud with John Cena. Whatcha think?”

Me:

“WHAT ?!?!?!? Aww, hell no. You might as well carve my heart out of my chest with my own severed fingers!”

Vince McMahon:

“Relax. I’m just joking. Don’t be so scurred all the time.”

Me:

“Seriously. The scurred thing . . . .”

Vince McMahon:

“I know. I know. I’m just joking. Actually, I wanted to introdue you to somebody. Mr. Chris Chavis!”

I felt a lump in my throat as I turned in my chair. The office door opened and there he was. Standing there as if out of some sick fantasy world . . . . Vince’s sick fantasy world.

Chris Chavis was the man we once knew as Tatanka. As much as I had hoped Vince had forgotten about his little brainstorm to re-introduce Tatanka to the WWE, evidently he had been instead tracking down his former employee. What was even worse . . . rumors had been swirling for years that Chavis was always in character. He WAS Tatanka, now and forever. These rumors were true evidently.

He stood there with a small sack cloth covering his genital area, complete the the colored bands wrapped around his arms, the big feather headress on his head, and the warpaint all over his body. His arms folded over his pudgy chest and he looked me over in an unimpressed matter and kept his back straight and head high. Was he trying to look bigger and stronger? Was he trying to earn his push?

Tatanka:

“Someone coming . . . . “

He pointed toward the far wall of the office as if it were miles away. I looked in that direction. It was just a wall, like I thought.

Me:

“Dude, no . . . . . it’s just a wall.”

Tatanka:

“Someone coming . . . .”

Me:

“It’s a wall.”

Tatanka:

“Someone coming . . . .”

Me:

“IT’S A FUCKING WALL!!!!!!”

Vince McMahon:

“Whoa, Raze, whoa. You don’t understand . . . . That’s all he says. He’s been living on some reservation for the better part of a decade and I guess he just sort of forgot the English language.”

Me:

“What’s he doing here?”

Vince McMahon:

“I hired him. He’s your new addition to SmackDown. Push him to the moon. I smell gold.”

Me:

“He can’t speak English. And you want me to push him?”

Tatanka:

“Someone coming.”

Vince McMahon:

“Just give him a U.S. Title run or something. Wouldn’t that be great. A native American winning the U.S. Title? Sort of like taking a little something back for all the stuff the white man stole from the native American!!!! Scalp those white bastards!! SCALP THOSE WHITE BASTARDS!!!!”

At that point, Vince began doing the typical thing anybody does when imitating an Indian. He began making the UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH noise while beating his palm against his mouth so that it came out UHH-UHH-UHH-UHH-UHH

Tatanka:

“UHH-UHH-UHH-UHH”

Vince McMahon:

“Atlanta Braves Style!!!”

Vince then began doing the Tomahawk chop while I buried my head in my hands. Tatanka promptly showed us the real thing when he removed an actual Tomahawk from God knows where and embedded it in Vince’s desk.BAMMM!!!!! I jumped.

Me:

“Holy fucking fuck!!!”

Tatanka:

“Someone coming.”

Vince McMahon:

“Ohhhhhhhh, Oh, Oh-Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh, Oh Oh-Oh. Come on George. Let’s kick this shit Atlanta Braves style. Come on, try it. Ohhhhhhhh, Oh, Oh-Oh.”

Tatanka:

“Ohhhhhhh, Oh, Oh-Oh.”

Now that Tatanka was standing between me and Vince I realized his ass was exposed. The flabby sunblackened crack was pretty gross and it occurred to me this was not the first bare male ass I had seen in this office. There had been Triple H . . . . . Hardcore Holly . . . . . Vince himself. The office itself was a spectacle of male nudity. Then it occurred to me . . . . He wouldn’t . . . . . He couldn’t . . . . . . Never . . . . . I looked at Vince.

He smiled with that McMahon intensity and shook his head vigorously up and down.

Vince McMahon:

“To paraphrase my favorite movie of all time . . . . I shagged him rotten, baby!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!”

I sat there waiting for the hurting to stop.

Tatanka:

“Someone coming.”

------------------------------

Several hours later the ringing in my ears had not stopped nor had I regained any semblance of composure as I sat prostrated before the porcelain god returning my lunch to the earth.

[craig]

Vince McMahon:  “To paraphrase my favorite movie of all time . . . . I shagged him rotten, baby!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!”

←

I knew that was coming as soon as i started to read it, nice diary just plz don't put Big Show and A-Train over Los Gurreros

[Guest raze0811]

“No Mercy” Preview Show

Sunday October 19, 2003

The scene opens up in a small studio where Tazz sits in a comfortable looking chair before a row of monitors.

Tazz:

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us and welcome to the No Mercy Preview Show. I am your host Tazz, the original thug, and over the next half hour I will be giving you a little peek at all of the matches we have lined up for you tonight on No Mercy.”

Tazz:

Folks, let me tell you. If you haven’t ordered this Pay Per View already, you are definitely going to want to do so. This Pay Per View is big. Its bigger than big. I mean, look at our Main Event. You have a triple threat match, three of our brightest stars, all competing for the top spot on the SmackDown brand. We’re talking about the WWE Championship. Current champion Brock Lesnar defending against both Kurt Angle and the Undertaker. The Tag Team titles are on the line tonight. The Cruiserweight Title is on the line tonight. The United States Title is on the line tonight. AJ Styles will make his in-ring debut tonight. You don’t want to miss this.”

Tazz:

“Okay, we’re gonna go over all the matches a little bit, but first, here’s a quick recap of what is going on in our main event scene right now.”

Video Package

Clip 1: Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle, Wrestlemania XIX. Brock finally gets his shot at the Champion and in a very climactic battle, stands triumphant at the end, with the WWE Title.

Clip 2: 7/27/03 Kurt Angle regains the WWE Title in a triple threat match with Brock Lesnar and Big Show.

Clip 3: Brock Lesnar destroys Undertaker’s chances of winning the WWE Title on SmackDown by intergering in his title match against Kurt Angle.

Clip 4: 9/18/03 Brock Lesnar regains the WWE Title in a 60-minute Ironman match. Out of respect for the title, Undertaker does not interfere.

Clip 5: 10/02/04 Undertaker publicly challenges Brock Lesnar for a title shot, citing that Lesnar is the reason he did not beat Kurt Angle for the title in the first place. Brock accepts. Cut scene to Kurt Angle coming out to try to help Undertaker, but inadvertently hitting Taker with a steel chair. Lesnar wins due to this interference, Undertaker attacks Angle out of anger.

Clip 6: 10/9/03 Undertaker goes through a gauntlet of Big Show and A-Train in order to earn yet another title shot, but Brock viciously lays him out with a steel chair, giving him the DQ win. Angle comes out to even the score yet again, but Undertaker targets him and gets an Angle Slam for his troubles. Lesnar delivers the F5 to Angle and stands over both crumpled men.

Clip 7: 10/16/03 Lesnar savagely sneak atttacks the Undertaker backstage, only to be saved by Kurt Angle. Undertaker tells Kurt he does not owe him any gratitude. Angle and Undertaker take on Brock Lesnar and John Cena but on several occasions fight amongst themselves. Undertaker and Angle win after Undertaker delivers the Last Ride to John Cena. Postmatch, Lesnar lays out Angle and Taker with F5’s.

Tazz:

“Whoo. Just watching that storied history gives me chills. Folks, these three men have nothing but animosity toward one another. Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle have been playing pitch and catch with that title belt for the past seven months, as their rivalry has done anything but cool down. Now suddenly the Undertaker is in the mix. All three of these men have the fire, but only one will have the gold. This match is a must-see. Folks, order this show now.”

Tazz:

“If you still need convincing, let’s go back to the 10/02 episode of SmackDown yet again. Tell me if this doesn’t sound like an epic clash.”

Video Package

Clip: 10/02/04 Chris Benoit is in the ring declaring that he needs an opponent for No Mercy, citing that while Rhyno is the man he would most like to get his hands on, Rhyno has been booked to face Rey Mysterio. Enter AJ Styles from the crowd, who viciously attacks Benoit from behind before accpeting the challenge.

Tazz:

“And that was just the beginning. Styles has been getting under Benoit’s skin ever since. Tonight, he will make his official debut when he meets Benoit in what is being hailed as a potential Match of the Year candidate.”

Tazz:

“How about that Cruiserweight Title, folks! Proudly worn by Rey Mysterio until some critical interference from Rhyno opened the door for none other than Spanky to win the gold. Rey Rey is now all set to face Rhyno at No Mercy. Meanwhile, Spanky went on to face Ultimo Dragon in what was shaping up to be one heck of a defense, when who should interfere – Kid Kash and Jerry Lynn! The match turned into chaos but basically we are left with four very hungry men. After SmackDown went off the air this past week, General Manager Stephanie McMahon booked a Four Corners match that will pit Spanky, Ultimo Dragon, Kid Kash, and Jerry Lynn against one another with the Cruiserweight Title at stake.”

Tazz:

“Another match made just last week occurred when Los Guerreros accepted a challenge from A-Train and Big Show. Los Guerreros have been on a tear as of late in the tag team division, and a victory over these two challengers would be a great boost to thir reign, while this match could be a great jumpstart back to the high road should the challengers overcome.”

Tazz:

“And rounding out the card should be a truly entertaining match when Scotty 2 Hotty challenges John Cena for the United States Championship. Scotty was fortunate enough to win a Four Corners match on SmackDown to earn the title shot, narrowly defeating Charlie Haas, Matt Hardy, and Billy Kidman to get there. With no previously existing feud between these two men, it should be interesting to see how this one plays out.”

Tazz:

“Folks, if you haven’t ordered this show yet, what more do I need to tell you? Pick up the phone, the remote, whatever you use to order Pay Per View events, and do this. Here’s that rundown one last time if you’re just joining us.”

Tazz:

“Brock Lesnar defends the WWE Title in a triple threat match against Kurt Angle and The Undertaker.”

Tazz:

“Spanky defends the Cruiserweight Title against challengers Ultimo Dragon, Kid Kash, and Jerry Lynn in a Four Corners match.”

Tazz:

“Los Guerreros defend the Tag Team titles against Big Show and A-Train.”

Tazz:

“John Cena defends the U.S. Title against Scotty 2 Hotty.”

Tazz:

“Rhyno meets Rey Mysterio to settle their vendetta that has been waging lately.”

Tazz:

“Last but not least, AJ Styles making his WWE debut to take on Chris Benoit.”

Tazz:

“You know what you have to do. Do it.”

Video Package

Brock Lesnar standing alone in a desserted looking building.

Brock Voiceover: Sometimes, its just not meant to be. Sometimes, those less fortunate than us need to realize when they are in over their head.

Close-up of one side of Undertaker’s face

Undertaker Voiceover: This Sunday, the rightful owner of the title will regain what should have been his all along.

Clip of Kurt on his back in a wrestling ring

Kurt Voiceover: It has been a road wrought with both victories and defeats, but there are a lot of miles left on that road. I will continue to show the world at a Champion should be.

Clip of Brock raising the belt over his head[/i}

Brock Voiceover: I will NEVER let this title out of my grasp again.

Montage of all three men facing each other with a graveyard backdrop.

Narrator Voiceover: IT all comes to a head this Sunday. SmackDown presents No Mercy. Call your local cable provider to order.

Fade to Black

Edited May 18, 2004 by raze0811

[Guest raze0811]

WWE Smackdown Presents: NO MERCY

Live on Pay Per View

Sunday October 19, 2003

Buyrate: 1.45

Attendance: 15562

PPV Revenue: $3625000

Ticket Sales: $933720

Video Package:

Brock Lesnar standing alone in a deserted looking building.

Brock Voiceover: Sometimes, its just not meant to be. Sometimes, those less fortunate than us need to realize when they are in over their head.

Close-up of one side of Undertaker’s face

Undertaker Voiceover: This Sunday, the rightful owner of the title will regain what should have been his all along.

Clip of Kurt on his back in a wrestling ring

Kurt Voiceover: It has been a road wrought with both victories and defeats, but there are a lot of miles left on that road. I will continue to show the world at a Champion should be.

Clip of Brock raising the belt over his head

Brock Voiceover: I will NEVER let this title out of my grasp again.

Montage of all three men facing each other with a graveyard backdrop.

Fade to Black

Pyros explode all over the arena and the 15562 fans in attendance are screaming their heads off as No Mercy kicks off. Cameras criss cross around the arena soaking in the reactions of the fans and several of the signs they hold.

Sign: BURY BROCK

Sign: ANGLE FOR NEXT CHAMP

Sign: MARRY ME EDDIE

Sign: HI

Finally the cameras settle on Tazz and Michael Cole, who are seated at the announce table and are wearing broad smiles and cheery expressions.

Tazz:

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Baltimore Maryland for No Mercy, a spectacular Pay Per View event if there ever was one. And without a doubt, the big talk tonight is who will win the fateful triple threat match for our coveted WWE Title.”

Cole:

“Certainly the odds are against Brock Lesnar. In triple threat matches the champion does not have to be pinned to lose the title. That is why most champions shy away from these kinds of matches. But Brock anything BUT shied away.”

Tazz:

“If anything, he has embraced the concept. Undertaker and Kurt Angle have both been under his skin lately, and likely he sees this as a chance to rid himself of both opponents.”

Cole:

“And undoubtedly both of his challengers feels the same way about their respective opponents. I’m expecting great things tonight . . . . .”

WORD LIFE!!!!! THIS IS BASIC THUGANOMICS!!!

The crowd comes alive and begins booing earnestly as John Cena struts onto the stage. He is carrying his padlock chain around his neck He has a mic held to his face.

Cena:

“Yo yo yo Word life, this is my night and my title!

I’m keeping both and I’ll preach it like the bible!

After all, you gotta look at who I’m up against!!!

Some blonde haired dude hopping around like two cats chasing each other in his pants!!

The worm?!? What the heck is that?

He’s convulsing like a paraplegic that is dying on the mat!

Used to tag with some fat dude with a big ass and lots of cellulite

But after tonight there’ll be no more Worm cuz Scotty gonna be paralyzed

He gets that look and hops on one leg I’m like dude, just lay off

He got about as much chance winning tonight as the Ravens making the playoffs.

After we’re done you can carry my bags to the plane like a debt that you’re working off

But hang it up in the ring - - you’d get more satisfaction at home - -

Crowd:

Jerking Off!!!!!!!!!

Segment 1:

United States Title Match

John Cena© vs Scotty 2 Hotty

Rating: 78/81/73

The crowd pops as Scotty 2 Hotty suddenly rushes the ring and begins attacking Cena. Cena stumbles under the assault and is whipped from pillar to post, still wearing the U.S. Title belt. Scotty strips it off and tries to hit Cena with it, Cena responds with a low blow. Cena then takes the offensive with a slow barrage of kicks and thrusts. Scotty is on the mat as Cena begins a long series of submission holds, trying to wear Scotty out. A reversed whip puts Scotty back on top with a flying axe handle that floors Cena. Scotty goes to the top rope but Cena gets the knees up and Scotty hurts himself. Cena with the scoop slam and a close two count.

In the corner, Cena works over Scotty with lefts and rights, climbs to the middle turnbuckle, rains punches down on Scotty’s face, but Scotty lifts him off the ropes and drops him down in an inverted atomic drop. Cena cups his jewels as Scotty hits a fall-down clothesline. Both men down, Scotty with a two count.

Cole:

“Almost had a new champ there.”

Both men get up, get into a grapple – Cena slips behind Scotty with a waist lock. Scotty spins around him and gets him in the waist lock. Cena tries to spin around him but Scotty catches him in mid spin and delivers a big DDT. Scotty covers for another two count.

Cena begins crawling toward his corner. Scotty stalks him over, kicks and stomps him. Scotty with the spine buster in the middle of the ring. Cena looks dazed as Scotty gets the look in his eyes and signals for the Worm! Cena has his chain wrapped around his fist!

Cole:

“Cena’s got that chain!!”

Tazz:

“He must have retrieved it out of his corner! That’s why he crawled over there.”

Scotty does the Worm, and just when he is standing over Cena going through his motions, Cena jumps up and hits him with an uppercut with the chain wrapped fist. Scotty goes down and the ref is none the wiser as Cena drops back to the mat to casually drop the chain off the apron. Cena makes the cover. 1!! 2!! 3!!

Tazz:

“Would you look at that. What a resourceful champion we have there, he knows how to hold on to a title.”

Cole:

“Resourceful? He outright cheated!”

Segment 2

Match

Rey Mysterio vs Rhyno

Rating: 80/84/74

“WHO’S THAT JUMPING OUT THE SKY ?!?!?!”

The crowd comes to its feet and cheers as Rey Mysterio makes his way to the ring, clapping hands as he goes. Rey waits in the ring as Rhyno’s music hits and Rhyno comes out, looking extremely angry and focused. The match got underway and Rey began ducking and dodging Rhyno’s punches and kicks, striking hit and run chops and kicks of his own as he went. Rhyno was unfazed, slowly stalking Rey. Rey began bouncing off the ropes and striking Rhyno with shoulder blocks. Rhyno sized him up and tried to clothesline his head off on one such rush, but Mysterio ducked and dropkicked Rhyno’s leg out from under him. Rhyno went down and Rey delivered a standing senton and the fans went crazy. Rey tried a pinfall but Rhyno forcefully threw him off at the one count.

As Rhyno started to stand, Rey dropkicked him in the head. Rhyno hit the mat and Rey went to the top rope. Rey jumped off and landed on his feet on Rhyno’s chest. The crowd popped and Rey again tried to pin but only got a two count. As Rhyno tried to stand again, Rey began punching him in the head but Rhyno got a hand around his throat and threw him into the corner. Rhyno charged, Rey jumped over his head by scooting up to the top turnbuckle, he then gave a sunset flip, but as he tried to pull Rhyno down for a pinfall, Rhyno dropped to his knees and began punching Mysterio in the head. Rhyno then pulled him up and delivered a scoop slam and followed it up with a backbreaker and then a rear chin lock. Rey looked about out of it but would not give up. Rey made it to the ropes and Rhyno broke the hold. The crowd booed Rhyno as he pounced again and started attacking.

Rey got in some more offense when Rhyno threw him into the corner and charged again and he lifted his legs, which Rhyno ran into face first at full speed. Rey then delivered a tornado DDT but was still only able to get a two count. Rhyno reversed an Irish Whip and clotheslined Rey to the mat. Rey got up and got GORED!!!!! Rhyno covered for the three count.

Cole:

“Unbelievable match! Rhyno just came out here and got it done.”

Tazz:

“And avenged his recent tag team loss to Mysterio in the process.”

Segment 3:

WWE Tag Team Title Match

Los Guerreros© vs Big Show and A-Train

Big Show and A-Train make their way to the ring as the Big Show’s theme plays. They get in the ring, pointing and gesturing to their waists.

“LA RAZA!!!!!!!”

“WE LIE!! WE CHEAT!! WE STEAL!!!!”

Los Guerreros emerge to a huge ovation as they make their way down the aisle.

Tazz:

“Curiously, no suped up ride tonight. They’re actually . . . .walking . . . . to the ring.”

Los Guerreros carry their title belts across their shoulders and stand on opposite turnbuckles displaying their titles to great fanfare. Suddenly, their opponents attack them each from behind. The crowd boos as Eddie and Chavo are thrown towards the center of the ring. Big Show pulls them both up by their throats and they simultaneously both kick him in the nuts. The crowd goes absolutely ecstatic and then they join hands and double clothesline Big Show to the mat. A-Train charges but they double back body drop him over the top rope to the floor and the crowd is loving it.

Big show gets to his feet and Los Guerreros deliver simultaneous dropkicks, one from in front, one from behind. He bellows and drops to his knees. They then deliver simultaneous spinning heel kicks to his head and he falls into a prone position with his neck on the bottom rope. Eddie signals to the crowd, gets a big pop, rebounds off the ropes, and drops a leg across the back of his head, guillotining his neck on the bottom rope. Suddenly A-Train is back in the ring and hits him from behind, sending him to the arena floor. Chavo comes at A-Train but A-Train delivers a big sidewalk slam. Show gets to his feet slowly and is forced by the ref to get to the apron while A-Train capitalizes by blatantly choking Chavo with his boot. Once order is restored, Chavo tries to battle back, but A-Train tags in Big Show, who uses the definite size advantage to his benefit. A big press slam by Show renders Chavo practically unconscious. Still, somehow, Big Show only gets a two count.

Big Show then sets up for a chokeslam, but Chavo elbows him in the face and makes the hot tag to Eddie. Eddie begins laying into both Big Show and A-Train, but the numbers game catches up and he ends up getting double-teamed. He ducks a double clothesline attempt and dropkicks A-Train out of the ring, but then Big Show slams him to the mat. Big Show drops an elbow, but Eddie gets out of the way. Show is down. Eddie signals for the Frog Splash!!!

The crowd goes ecstatic as Eddie gets to the top rope, but A-Train forcefully shoves him off of it. Eddie lands near the apron and looks hurt. Chavo tries to check on Eddie from the arena floor. The ref becomes occupied with yelling at Chavo not to come in the ring. A-Train then charges Chavo and sends him sailing into the ring steps. As the ref checks on Chavo, A-Train nails Eddie in the head with one of the tag titles. Eddie looks out cold. Big Show throws an arm over him and the ref sees the cover, then drops to make the three count.

Cole:

“I can’t believe this!! Los Guerreros deserve better than this. A-Train and Big Show do not deserve those belts.”

Tazz:

“New tag team champions, Cole!!! Isn’t it great?!”

Segment 4:

Cruiserweight Title Four Corners Match

Spanky© vs Ultimo Dragon vs Kid Kash vs Jerry Lynn

Rating: 76/70/83

All four men demonstrated excellent athletic ability throughout the match. Kid Kash and Jerry Lynn initially worked together, using double team moves to keep Ultimo and Spanky down. Eventually that changed, however, as Kid Kash capitalized with a springboard DDT to Lynn and tried to get a quick cover. He only received a two count however, as the pin was broken up by Spanky. Ultimo was back in it as well with a hurricanarana on Spanky. Lynn attempted a flying body press from the top rope onto Kash and Ultimo but they caught him and slammed him down, followed immediately by Kash clotheslining Ultimo to the mat with vicious force.

Spanky was back in the match at this point when he unloaded on Kash with chops and kicks. Kash countered a leg scissors into a sit down powerbomb, but then Ultimo delivered a falling dropkick to the chest of Kash, resulting in Kash and Spanky lying in a clustered huddle. Jerry Lynn delivered a bulldog from behind on Ultimo, but was unable to get a three count. He moved on to trying to pin Kash but was again rewarded only with a two count. He then tried to pin Spanky but only got a two count.

At this point Ultimo was back up and went for Lynn. Kash regained his footing and was double clotheslined out of the ring. Lynn and Ultimo went toe to toe until Lynn hit a falling neckbreaker. Spanky delivered the Sliced Bread #2 to Lynn and picked up the victory, retaining his Cruiserweight Title.

Segment 5:

Interview with Brock Lesnar

Rating: 79%

Backstage cameras picked up the image of Brock Lesnar and the fans in the arena started booing immediately. Brock has the WWE title draped over his shoulder and is smiling viciously at the camera as though he is contemplating how he can murder the cameraman. Standing nearby is Marc Lloyd.

Marc Lloyd:

“Brock Lesnar . . . . in just a short while you will be going out there and defending your WWE Title against not one, but two men . . . .two men who are at the top of their game. Are you at all concerned about the implications of such a match?”

Brock Lesnar:

“Concerned? What is there to be concerned about? Have you seen the decisive ways in which I have destroyed both of these men in singles matches? So they’re lumped together in one ring with me . . . Its just more destruction for me to give out.”

Marc Lloyd:

“Yes, I see. However, the fact that you do not actually have to be the man to get pinned . . . . Do you feel that this makes your title defense that much more difficult? If Angle pins Undertaker, or vice versa . . . you lose your title.”

Brock Lesnar:

“Marc, let me tell you something about why interviewers should not doubt my ability . . . . . You see, there was once this monster . . . . and his name was Brock Lesnar. And one day this little fruit fly landed on the monster’s shoulder and asked him if any other monsters could kick his ass. You know what that monster did? He swatted that little fruit fly like the bug that he was, then he stepped on it for good measure. And the fruit fly died. And do you know what that fruit fly’s name was?”

Marc Lloyd:

“Uhhh . . . . . Well . . . . . .”

Brock Lesnar:

“Take a guess. But do you see this title I have here? It’s mine because I earned it. Because I am that monster. And I will defend it against all would-be challengers until the world stands dead at my feet. So Marc . . . . why don’t you come over here like the fruit fly so I can show you what I think of your questions . . . . .”

Marc Lloyd:

“I . . . . I think I hear my mother calling.”

Marc Lloyd quickly exits off camera. Brock laughs as he watches him go.

Segment 6:

The Challengers, Face to Face

Rating: 88%

Cut to another backstage corridor. The crowd pops, seeing Kurt Angle, dressed in his wrestling attire with his red hooded sports jacket on, as he makes his way down the aisle. His eyes are lowered and he seems deep in thought as he rounds the corner . . . . and comes face to face with the Undertaker. The two stare eye to eye.

Kurt Angle:

“I hope you’re 100 percent.”

Undertaker:

“Never better.”

Kurt Angle:

“Good. Because like I told you out there Thursday night . . . no excuses from you.”

Undertaker:

“Excuses? You should know me better. I don’t do excuses. Not my style. I only have one style. Kicking ass and leaving behind a trail of destruction.”

Kurt Angle:

“You can leave behind whatever you want. Me? I’m not so worried about what I leave behind so much as what I leave WITH. And that? Is the WWE Title. Its not so much what lies behind you as what lies before you. And what lies before me is a whole string of successful WWE Title defenses. So just keep that in mind when you’re leaving behind your little trail of destruction.”

Undertaker:

“My trail of destruction will lead me to the title. But I guess there’s no convincing you until after you see me raise the strap over my head. Then you’ll know whose yard it is.”

Kurt Angle:

“Well then . . . . I guess there’s nothing more to say. We’ll let our actions finish this conversation. Now if you’ll excuse me . . . I’m going to go polish my gold medals.”

Kurt Angle continues off down the hall. Undertaker does not look back, but rather continues in the direction he was going.

Segment 7:

Match

Chris Benoit vs AJ Styles

Rating: 91/89/93

These two competitors started this match off with an old fashioned stare down. Heated words were whispered before Styles shoved Benoit, who shoved back. The crowd was on fire when they started exchanging blows, before Benoit grabbed Styles’ legs and performed a takedown, then tried to lock on an early Sharpshooter. Styles kicked away and rolled over, coming to his feet just in time for Benoit to grab him in a headlock. Styles pushed him to the ropes, Benoit came back from the ropes with a shoulder block, and Styles went down. The fans popped, as Benoit bounced off the opposite ropes, leaping over Styles, who jumped up, leap frogged over the second rebound, then met with a big kick to the jaw. Styles was down, and Benoit forced him up, whipped him hard into the corner, then quickly yanked the arm and locked on a Crippler Crossface.

AJ Styles was luckily close enough to the ropes to put his feet on the bottom one and force the hold to be broken. Benoit allowed him to get up, then locked up with him in a grapple. Styles performed an arm drag and locked on an armbar. He modified the hold and ended up with Benoit in a headscissors. Benoit struggled to break the hold for almost a minute before finally reaching a rope. The two men locked up again and it was Benoit who got the waistlock and then a belly-to-belly suplex. Styles bounced off the mat like a lifeless doll. Benoit attempted to continue the assault, but Styles elbowed him in the head before delivering a swinging neckbreaker, then went for a cover that only garnered a two count.

The match continued in seesaw fashion for several minutes, until Benoit ducked a clothesline and locked in the Crossface. The crowd popped, expecting a tap out. Styles fought for most of a minute, before managing to reach the rope yet again. The action continued when a subsequent Benoit clothesline sent both men over the top rope. Benoit hit the apron hard on his way down in his lower back region and fell into the steel ring steps. The crowd was on its feet as he looked hurt. Styles capitalized by whipping his back into the steel post several times and then throwing him into the steps. At this point, Benoit was busted open and the blood was pouring from his forehead. Back in the ring, Benoit countered a roundhouse and nailed one rolling German suplex, then a second - - On the third, Styles brought his leg back with a well placed kick to the groin. Benoit went down and Styles made the cover with his feet on the ropes. The ref did not see it and made the three count. AJ Styles celebrated his victory briefly in the ring as Benoit struggled to get up.

Cole:

“Such a valiant effort by both men. It’s a shame it had to end that way.”

Tazz:

“And let’s hope Benoit is okay. He took some pretty big hits in this match and he looks like Hell.”

Finally, as Benoit struggled to his feet, Styles nailed him with the Styles clash and laughed over his prone body.

Segment 8:

WWE Title Triple Threat Match

Brock Lesnar© vs Kurt Angle vs The Undertaker

Rating: 82/84/79

DEAD MAN WALKING!!!!

Undertaker makes his way to the ring on his motorcycle to a big reaction from the fans. He struts around the ring with his left fist held high in the air.

Cue the Olympic music. Kurt Angle receives another big pop as he calmly makes his way to the ring, sizing up the Undertaker on his approach. He climbs in the ring and walks a slow circle around Taker, who stands with his back in the corner.

HERE COMES THE PAIN!!!!!

The crowd boos as Brock Lesnar emerges on the ramp, carrying the WWE Title in his hand. He mockingly makes his way to the ring with a big smile on his face, walks up the steps, steps in, and immediately swings the title at Kurt’s head.

Kurt ducks. Kurt begins punching Lesnar. The bell rings. Undertaker steps up and begins taking turns with Angle punching Brock in the face. Brock falls into a sitting position in the corner and suddenly Kurt Angle clotheslines Undertaker to the mat. Kurt stands tall as he begins kicking Taker. Lesnar gets to his feet and unloads a beating on Angle. Undertaker gets to his feet and hits Lesnar in the back of the head. Lesnar falls out of the ring, taking Taker with him. They brawl on the outside until Angle dives off the apron and takes them both down.

Angle and Lesnar brawl on the outside, resulting in Lesnar atomic dropping Kurt into a sitting position onto Taker’s bike, then knocking the bike over. Taker becomes insanely agitated and nails Lesnar with a steel chair. Undertaker continues the assault until Angle chop blocks Taker’s leg. Taker goes down and Angle begins liberally stomping both en. Lesnar makes it to his knees and scores a low blow on Angle, then guillotines him across the barricade. Taker is back up but Lesnar disposes of him with knee thrusts and a clothesline over the barricade into the crowd. By this time Angle is back up. Angle whips Lesnar into the apron and then tries to choke him with a camera cable. Lesnar looks like he is about to pass out before Taker nails Angle from behind with a forearm shot. Lesnar picks up the ring steps and hits Taker in the head with them, but then Angle knocks the steps away and drop toe holds Lesnar into the steps. Angle returns to choking Lesnar with the camera cable. Taker begins hitting both men with the ring bell.

Taker grabs Lesnar, stands in front of the Spanish Announce table, and signals for the Last Ride!!! The crowd pops, and then Taker delivers. Lesnar is out cold amidst the wreckage of the table. Undertaker begins beating on Angle. Angle slams Taker’s head into the steel ringpost. Lesnar is starting to come to as Angle and Undertaker end up back in the ring. Undertaker signals for another Last Ride, and hoists Angle up. Angle punches Taker several times, causing him to drop him. Angle immediately nails the Angle Slam. He makes the cover. Lesnar is crawling in the ring, trying to break up the pin.

1!! 2!! Shoulder up!!

Angle can’t believe it and the fans pop. Just then Lesnar attacks, hitting Angle with a spinebuster. Undertaker is trying to get up, Lesnar gives him the F5!!! Lesnar goes for the cover.

1!! 2!! Shoulder up!!

Cole:

“Where is Undertaker finding the strength?”

Tazz:

“It’s not strength. It’s heart. Undertaker has tons of heart for this business.”

Lesnar stands shocked over Undertaker. Undertaker is reaching for the bottom rope, trying to pull himself to his feet. Angle comes from behind, nails the ANGLE SLAM on Lesnar. Lesnar hits the mat hard, rolls over – and falls off the apron to the arena floor. Undertaker manages to stumble to his feet. ANGLE SLAM again. Undertaker is sprawled in the ring. Angle with the cover. 1!! 2!! 3!!

Tazz:

“It only took two Angle Slams and an F5, but Undertaker was finally subdued. Folks, Kurt Angle is our new WWE Champion!!”

Cole:

“What a hard fought and well earned victory. All three of these men deserve credit for this spectacle.”

Angle raises the belt over his head. On the floor, Lesnar has a wild disbelieving look in his eyes. Angle hops up on a turnbuckle and raises the WWE Title over his head again as the WWE copyright info appears on the screen and the scene fades out to a black screen with the WWE logo in the center.

Quick Results

U.S. Title Bout: John Cena© d. Scotty 2 Hotty

Rhyno d. Rey Mysterio

Tag Team Title Bout: Big Show and A-Train d. Los Guerreros©

Cruiserweight Title Bout: Spanky© d. Jerry Lynn, Ultimo Dragon, and Kid Kash

AJ Styles d. Chris Benoit

WWE Title Bout: Kurt Angle d. Brock Lesnar© and the Undertaker

Edited May 19, 2004 by raze0811

[Malenko]

just a question... haven't the writers complained about los guerreros gimmick? they are faces aren't they?

and btw.. could you keep a updated post on your roster? i had no idea you had jerry lynn there

[Guest raze0811]

just a question... haven't the writers complained about los guerreros gimmick? they are faces aren't they?

and btw.. could you keep a updated post on your roster? i had no idea you had jerry lynn there

←

Yeah, the writers complained. Stupid writers. The cheater gimmic works for Eddie as a face in real life, but does it work in EWR? Nooooooooooo . . . . . Anyway, they have a gimmick change in the works.

Jerry Lynn and Kid Kash debuted on the last smackDown before the PPV. I was planning to post roster updates at the end of every month, so everybody could see where everything stands.

[Guest raze0811]

October 20, 2003

Credit: 1popup.com

Raze to Write for Raw Again

Just when we thought the goings-on behind the scenes at World Wrestling Entertainment could not get any more confusing, out of left field comes the news that Vincent McMahon has decided to reinstate Raze as head writer for the Raw brand of WWE.

Last week we brought to you the story of how Raze was removed from writing duties for the Raw brand, mostly based on creative differences between Raze and Vince, but also because Raze had reportedly stood up to Vince on a number of creative points. Evidently the new head writer for Raw, another relative unknown, got into high water when he proposed a Triple H / Brooklyn Brawler feud. Raze was overjoyed to learn that he would again write for Raw, but is still a little weary of this “opportunity,” as he has reportedly revealed to close friends that last night’s Pay Per View, No Mercy, was largely influenced by Vince McMahon throwing his weight around. Reportedly, Vince threatened Raze that he would be removed from his job completely if Big Show and A-Train had not won their Tag Title match against Los Guerreros.

A big question right now is what creative direction Raze will take with Raw. In recent weeks, Triple H placed a bounty on Goldberg’s head to the competitor who can put Goldberg out of commission. Goldberg has been fending off attackers vehemently since. Also, the bitter feud between Kane and Shane McMahon is most certainly leading toward a Survivor Series match of some kind. Now that Raze is back in control there is wild speculation as to exactly how he will continue with these storylines. Raze called an emergency meeting this weekend with WWE writers and tonight, when Raw airs, many of these questions will likely be answered.

[Guest raze0811]

Monday October 20, 2003

Monday Night Raw Preview

The Bounty Hunt Continues

Poor Goldberg just can’t catch a break. Fresh off of his World Title victory over Triple H, he now must deal with the $100,000 bounty on his head that The Game placed there to get rid of him. With challengers coming out of the woodwork to take Goldberg out, will the new champ find some way to beat the odds and hold on to his career in the process? Goldberg will be in the house tonight to address the situation.

Austin to Remain Employed?

Recently Chris Jericho and Christian have taken up a crusade to have Stone Cold Steve Austin fired from his position as Co-General Manager of Raw. Eric Bischoff is none the happier, as he is eager to become the sole General Manager. Bischoff has revealed to WWE.com that he has a special announcement to make tonight regarding the situation, and he believes the end for Austin is quite near.

Ring Returns

Wwe.com has learned that both William Regal and Booker T have been cleared to return to the ring. Both men are scheduled to appear on Raw. How will they make their presence felt?

Burning Hatred

With Kane set to appear tonight, can we expect to see the next chapter in his burning rivalry with Shane McMahon? With their next match set to go down at Survivor Series, you can expect both men to pull out all the stops to gain the upper hand in this feud.

Confirmed Matches for Tonight

Chris Jericho & Christian vs Hurricane & Rosey

Kane vs Garrison Cade

Scott Steiner vs Tommy Dreamer

Tune in tonight to witness as we prepare to head into Survivor Series!

Edited May 20, 2004 by raze0811

[Guest raze0811]

Monday Night RAW

October 20, 2004

RAW opens with a video recap of Triple H placing a $100,00 bounty on Goldberg’s head for the first superstar to end his career. Various clips are shown of multiple superstars attempting to collect the bounty but failing. Video ends on a black and white slow motion clip of Goldberg making an intense face at the camera.

Cue the pyrotechnics, blaring arena, and loud fans. This is Monday Night RAW. Your announcers are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

Jim Ross:

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw. The big question tonight is: Who is going to be the one to step up and collect the bounty on Goldberg?”

Jerry Lawler:

”Quite honestly, I would bet on Mark Henry. He is going to pull it off, make no mistakes about it. He has the motivation and the desire. If not him, then at least Triple H can rest easy knowing it is only a matter of time before Goldberg is taken out.”

Jim Ross:

”I still can’t believe that this bounty is even being allowed to go on. Marking a man for a shortened career goes against everything these wrestlers strive to achieve in their lives. How can this stand?”

Segment 1: Match

Tommy Dreamer vs Scott Steiner

Rating: 64/67/60

Tommy Dreamer was able to get in a very little offense at the beginning of the match until Steiner took over with an elbow to the face and a scoop slam. A series of power maneuvers followed, including a sidewalk slam and a fireman’s carry. Dreamer temporarily battled back after ducking a clothesline attempt and kicking Steiner in the back of the head, but Steiner recovered and finished him off after a powerslam. Steiner celebrated in the ring by posing down and flexing his muscles after the match, and forcing Stacy to pose as well. She looked very unhappy but Steiner basically intimidated her into compliance.

Segment 2: A Regal Return

Rating: 80%

Cut to the inside of Eric Bischoff’s office. The crowd boos as Eric is shown laughing while talking on the phone to an unknown person.

Eric Bischoff:

”No, no, no. One hundred THOUSAND dollars. Yeah, you see? It is worth it, even if Goldberg does end up just kicking your ass!”

There comes a knock at the door and it slowly opens. Eric’s grin widens.

Eric Bischoff:

”Listen, I’ll call you back.”

Bischoff hangs up the phone and claps his hands as he stands up and shakes Regal’s hand.

Eric Bischoff:

”William!! Welcome back! I was so overjoyed to hear you would be here tonight. Please, sit down. Can I offer you anything? A drink perhaps?”

Regal sits opposite Bischoff’s desk.

William Regal:

”No, no, no. That will not be necessary, Eric. I came here tonight for only one reason. I’ve been gone far too long. I need to get back in that ring and work off some of this rust.”

Eric Bischoff:

”Of course, of course. How silly of me. And you know what? I have just the person in mind. Regal, you know I respect your work and I in fact think the world of your athletic prowess and ability. Well, tonight . . . . my welcome home gift to you . . . . I am giving you an Intercontinental Title shot against Rob Van Dam!!!!!”

The crowd pops upon hearing Rob Van Dam’s name.

Eric Bischoff:

”And William . . . do me a favor . . . . win that title and bring it some class.”

William Regal:

”Hahahahaha. An Intercontinental Title shot on my first night back? Remind me sometime Eric . . . . I owe you a cup of tea.”

Eric Bischoff:

”A cup of tea will be nice. But I’ll settle for William Regal, Intercontinental Champion!!”

William Regal:

”Its amazing what a ring that has to it, isn’t it?”

Both men laugh it up as the scene fades out.

{Commercial Break}

Segment 3: Match

Garrison Cade vs Kane

Rating: 62/62/63

Garrison Cade looked frightened as Kane made his entrance, especially when he raised his arms and caused the fires to burn. Cade immediately tried to overcome his fear when the bell rang by going right at Kane. Big punches. Kicks. Kane absorbed the damage but shrugged it off as though it had no lasting effect. Kane threw a couple punches, but Cade ducked both and fired back with big right hands, backing Kane into a corner.

He went to the middle turnbuckle and rained down blows on the Big Red Machine, but Kane shoved him off and he fell to the mat. Kane went to work with stomps and kicks, Cade retreated into a corner, and Kane used his boot to choke him. Cade kicked him in the midsection, doubling Kane over slightly. Cade attempted a whip into the ropes, Kane reversed. On the rebound, Cade ducked a clothesline, rebounded again, and dropkicked Kane in the face.

Kane looked stunned. Cade went to the top rope, but Kane came to his senses, grabbed him by the throat, and chokeslammed him to the mat. Kane smiled devilishly as he made the cover and got the three count.

Kane stood and looked menacingly at the camera, just as Shane McMahon appeared at ringside, jumping the barricade with a steel chair.

Jerry Lawler:

“Shane O Mac!! What is he doing here?”

Jim Ross:

”I think that’s an obvious one, King. These two just will not rest until one of them is destroyed.”

Jerry Lawler:

“Well, that man is going to be Shane unless he realizes that he is playing with fire. Quite literally.”

Shane slid in the ring and began beating Kane mercilessly with the chair. Kane dropped to the mat and Shane continued the assault. Shane had a fiery look in his eyes as he finally threw the chair aside and retreated up the ramp. Shane looked pleased . . . . until suddenly Kane sat up in the ring like nothing had happened. Kane slowly got to his feet, raised his arms, and dropped them . . . . fire exploded all over the ring. He stood amidst the fire looking evil, and Shane only stood in awe on the ramp looking on.

{Commercial Break}

Segment 4: A Well Deserved Title Shot . . . . Or Is It?

Rating: 75%

The scene cuts back to Eric Bischoff in his office. He is just sitting down when there comes another knock at his door.

Eric Bischoff:

”William, you know you do not have to knock. Just come in. I guess you want to thank me again for giving you that Intercontinental Title shot!”

The door swings open. It is not William Regal. It is Booker T! The fans cheer wildly.

Booker T:

”Yo man, this ain’t William Regal!! Although maybe you’re feeling a little generous tonight. Which is why I need to holler at you.”

Eric Bischoff:

”Ummm, sure, I . . . . . guess. What’s on your mind, Booker?”

Booker T:

”I’ll tell you what’s on my mind! William Regal is back one night and gets an Intercontinental Title shot. I’m not gonna hate on him though. But I’m making my return tonight, too. And I think I deserve a little return present, don’t you?.”

Bischoff adopts a confused face and starts going through his desk drawers.

Eric Bischoff:

”Yes, yes, of course, I don’t know what I have here, but . . . . A-Hah!!! Would you like a stick of gum?”

Bischoff extends his hand holding a stick of gum to Booker T. Booker does not look amused. He looks down at Eric’s hand and knits his eyebrows.

Booker T:

”Not what I had in mind.”

Eric Bischoff:

”Well what then?”

Booker T:

”Well, you gave Regal the Intercontinental Title shot. I want a World Title shot. Tonight. Against Triple H.”

The fans begin popping again. Bischoff scratches his head.

Eric Bischoff:

”A World Title shot? Tonight? Sure! That would be no problem!! I love the idea!!”

Booker nods his head and smiles. The crowd cheers again.

Eric Bischoff:

”NOT!! Who the hell do you think you are? You don’t come into Eric Bischoff’s office and make demands! You should be ashamed of yourself. In fact, as long as I’m GM, I may very well decide to see to it that you NEVER get a World Title shot. World Title shot? You know what? Tonight . . . . . you get Rico!! And I hope he tries to kiss you!!”

The crowd boos.

Booker T:

”You just made a huge mistake, sucka.”

Eric Bischoff:

”Yeah well wake me up if I fall asleep and it looks like I’m starting to have a dream where I care. Now get out of my office.”

Booker T looks incensed as he sneers at Bischoff, who only smiles back. Finally he turns on his heel, leaves, and slams the door after himself. Hard. A picture falls off the wall.

Eric Bischoff:

”World Title shot . . . . What is this promotion coming to?”

Segment 5: Something That Just Had to be Done

Rating: 82%

IT’S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!!

Triple H emerges on the ramp as the arena lights fade out. The fans boo. Triple H sips his water, makes his way to the ring, stands on the apron, and spits the water into the air in a fine mist. He climbs into the ring and takes a mic as the lights come back on. He must wait several seconds before the boos die down.

Triple H:

”WHERE ARE ALL THE SO-CALLED SUPERSTARS OF THE WWE?”

How much money do I have to offer up as a bounty before somebody will actually step up to the plate and put this miserable excuse of a wrestler Goldberg out of commission? Is one hundred thousand dollars somehow not enough to inspire somebody back there to actually get it done? But it’s not all about money . . . think of the recognition you will get . . . the man . . . or woman . . . who destroys the legendary Goldberg’s career. More fame and fortune would surely follow. But yet . . . . Goldberg is still here.

It is for that reason that I have decided to effectively double the bounty. TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS to the man or woman who can put Goldberg out of commission. Is that enough now? Will somebody actually step up now?”

Jerry Lawler:

”Oh my!!!! It’s Goldberg!!.”

The crowd pops as Goldberg emerges from the crowd, wearing a pair of jeans and a sleeveless black muscle shirt. Goldberg slides in the ring. Triple H spins around . . . . SPEAR!!!!!! The crowd is going crazy. Goldberg hoists him up . . . . JACKHAMMER!!!

Goldberg jumps to his feet and makes the BLAHHHHH!!!!! Face with his tongue sticking out. Goldberg spins back around, hoists Triple H up . . . . .ANOTHER JACKHAMMER!!!!!

Goldberg appears to calm down as he looks down at his fallen enemy . . . then . . . .. ANOTHER JACKHAMMER!!!

Jerry Lawler:

”Three jackhammers?!? Is Goldberg trying to end Triple H’s career?.”

Goldberg looks crazed as he hoists Triple H up again and drops him throat first onto the top turnbuckle. Suddenly, Ric Flair and Randy Orton run down to ringside, GOLDBERG SPEARS FLAIR!!!!!! GOLDBERG SPEARS ORTON!!!!!! Goldberg stands amidst the destruction that he has caused.

Goldberg kicks Triple H to the outside where he guillotines him across the barricade. Triple H is holding his throat. Goldberg whips him into the steel ring steps. Goldberg then actually throws the steps onto Triple H!! Goldberg then looks down and delivers another JACKHAMMER, this time on the arena floor. Triple H is bloody and motionless as paramedics come rushing down to the ring.

Goldberg jumps in the ring as the paramedics work on Triple H. He takes a mic.

Goldberg:

”You see where trying to pay off others to do your dirty work gets you. I want everybody in the locker room to take a good look at Triple H. Broken and bloody. That is the fate that waits for anybody else who crosses me. And for any of you pathetic souls who are actually considering still trying to collect this bounty . . . . take a good look at the man who offered it. I don’t think he is any condition to pay up anytime soon. So I think you might just be wasting your time.”

Goldberg throws the mic down and smiles as Triple H is carted off on a stretcher, accompanied by Flair and Orton.

Jim Ross:

”Ladies and gentlemen. There are no words for what we just witnessed. Goldberg apparently is sick of playing defensive. And he believes that by taking out the man who placed the bounty on his head, that he will in fact stop the rest of the WWE superstars from coming after him. I must say, I understand his rationale even if I do not agree with his methods .”

Jerry Lawler:

”Goldberg should be reprimanded for this.”

Jim Ross:

”However, what he did was no less than what Triple H offered money to have done to him.”

{Commercial Break}

Segment 6: Career vs Career . . . . at Survivor Series!!

Rating: 82%

The crowd boos as Eric Bischoff makes his way to the ring, with a big smile on his face. He steps in and takes a mic as he prepares to address the fans.

Eric Bischoff:

”Now, I’ll admit . . . .Under normal circumstances I would keep my mouth shut until I had more, but . . . . I just had to come out here and brag . . . . Stone Cold Steve Austin is so closed to being fired that you wouldn’t believe it!!!!”

The crowd boos.

Eric Bischoff:

”Come on, you people can’t be serious! Do you really want a guy like Steve Austin in a position of power around here?”

The crowd cheers its answer.

Eric Bischoff:

”I’m actually stumped. Why? Why would you want that? Do you people have any idea how much harm he’s caused to this federation since he’s been Co-General Manager of Raw? Just look at Kane for example. Look what he’s done to that poor man! And as of last night, when I got out of another meeting with the WWE Board of Directors – You have no idea how close I am to convincing them to get rid of Austin once and for all!!”

The crowd boos, until - - -

GLASS SHATTERS!!!!

The crowd comes to its feet as Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his way to the ring in his usual manner. He goes to all four turnbuckles and puts his arms up as flashes go off. Finally he stands opposite Eric Bischoff.

Eric Bischoff:

”Austin, seriously . . . . Think twice before you hit me . . . . If you lay so much as a finger on me I will have NO trouble getting you fired. The last little bit of resistance I’m facing will surely dissipate. You will become very much unemployed.”

Austin smiles.

Steve Austin:

”You must be real scared if you have to say that, Eric. Why, I was just gonna come out here and ask you to join me in a beer.”

Eric Bischoff:

”I don’t believe you!”

Steve Austin:

”You are aware that if I get fired I will buy a ticket to the next Raw, and the next Raw, and the next Raw, and I will commence to kicking your ass each and every week.”

Bischoff gulps.

Eric Bischoff:

”I’d have you arrested.”

Steve Austin:

”And I’d eventually get out.”

Eric looks visibly shaken.

Eric Bischoff:

”You know what, Steve? You know what? Screw all of our proceedings! Screw my case against you! Screw the Board of Directors even! Why don’t we settle this at Survivor Series, once and for all?”

Steve Austin:

”You want to fight me at Survivor Series? Son, you really are a crazy son of a bitch.”

Eric Bischoff:

”No I don’t want to fight you. At least not one on one. No . . . . what I propose is that we each round up a team of four other men . . . . And then we lead our teams into battle at Survivor Series – Five on Five. Classic Survivor Series style rules. If your team wins, I lose my job with WWE and never come back! If my team wins, you lose your job with WWE and never come back!”

Austin smiles as he looks out to the crowd. They cheer their approval.

Steve Austin:

”Sounds like a plan to me.”

Eric Bischoff:

”I even have my first two team members already. Chris Jericho and Christian, who were more than happy to pledge their support to me in any way that would help rid the WWE of you!”

Steve Austin:

”So basically our jobs are on the line at Survivor Series. So no matter what, I can’t get fired before then, right?”

Eric Bischoff:

”That’s right. Why?”

Suddenly, Eric’s eyes go wide. He realizes too late . . . . .

STUNNER!!!!!!!!

The crowd goes wild as the glass breaks again and Stone Cold starts yelling incoherently without a mic and finally swaggers back up the ramp with a determined look on his face.

Segment 7: Match

Chris Jericho and Christian vs Hurricane and Rosey

Rating: 78/79/77

STAND BACK!!! THERE’S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!!!!!

The crowd cheers as Hurricane and Rosey make their way to the ring. The cheers turn to boos as Chris Jericho and Christian are out next. They arrogantly strut to the ring.

Jim Ross:

”And here come Bischoff’s first two team members now!!”

The match starts with all four men brawling. Finally Christian clotheslines Hurricane over the rope, and Hurricane drags Christian out with him. That leaves Jericho and Rosey in the ring. They punch back and forth until Jericho kicks Rosey in the head. Rosey staggers. Jericho beats on him some more and then dropkicks him to the mat. Jericho locks on a half crab. Rosey screams in pain, but finally reaches the ropes. Jericho relinquishes but begins dropping elbows to the lower back. Jericho tags in Christian.

Christian comes in with lefts and rights as Rosey gets up. He attempts a whip, but Rosey reverses. On the rebound, Rosey elbows Christian to the mat. Rosey wants to tag, but Christian trips him and locks on a modified leglock. Christian grabs the bottom rope for leverage as the ref checks on Rosey. Rosey reaches the rope and the hold is broken. Christian lunges at Rosey as Rosey gets up, but Rosey clotheslines him down. Rosey makes the hot tag to Hurricane.

Hurricane comes in on fire and floors both of his opponents repeatedly until Jericho manages to attack him from behind. Christian goes for the Unprettier but Hurricane kicks him in the shin, twists the arm and delivers a side kick to the jaw. Still holding the arm, Hurricane locks in an armbar. Christian gouges the eyes to break the hold. The tag is made back to Jericho.

Jericho bounces off the ropes, stops, and slaps Rosey. As Rosey tries to come in the ring, the ref holds him back. Jericho dropkicks Rosey off the apron and laughs. Hurricane suddenly attacks from behind with a knee lift to the kidney area. Hurricane whips Jericho to the ropes . . . . Jericho ducks a clothesline . . . . rebounds off the opposite rope . . . . leap frogs as Hurricane ducks . . . . . Jericho spins around . . . . leg sweep takedown.!! Jericho has Hurricane by the legs!! He locks on the Walls of Jericho!

Hurricane taps. Jericho and Christian hug briefly in the ring to celebrate their win as they raise each other’s arms.

{Commercial Break}

Segment 8: Stone Cold Assistance

Rating: 86%

As we come back from commercial break, Steve Austin is walking proudly backstage when he comes face to face with Booker T.

Booker T:

”Yo man, I’ve been looking for you”

Austin gets a curious look on his face.

Steve Austin:

”Well, you found me.”

Booker T:

”I guess you saw what happened myself and Bischoff earlier, right?”

Steve Austin:

”If you’re looking for a favor, it’s too late. Triple H has been taken to the hospital. There’s no way you can get a title shot against him tonight.”

Booker T:

”Actually, I was looking for you to offer to do you a favor.”

Steve Austin:

”Really?”

Booker T:

”I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye . . . . I mean, I sure as hell remember our supermarket brawl, I would hope you do too, but . . . . . I think this time we’re on the same side. Neither of us want Eric Bischoff running things around here. So . . . . I wanted to offer to join your Survivor Series team to take Bischoff down.”

Austin smiles and then shakes his head.

Steve Austin:

”Well I’ll be damned! Welcome to Team Austin!”

Austin and Booker shake hands.

Segment 9: Match

Booker T vs Rico

Rating: 72/74/72

YOU LOOK SOOOOO . . . . . GOOD TO ME!!!!

Rico makes his way to the ring, blowing kisses.

CAN YOU DIG IT ?!?!?! SUCKA !!!!!!

The crowd comes alive for Booker T as he makes his way to the ring.

The bell rings. Rico offers his hand to shake Booker’s. Booker looks suspicious. Finally he takes Rico’s hand. Rico pulls him close and tries to kiss him.

Jerry Lawler:

”I knew it!! I knew he was going to try that!”

Booker shoves Rico away. Rico falls on his butt. Booker T looks very angry. Knife edge chops to Rico’s chest cause him to cry out. Irish whip to the corner! Booker T follows him in with a Splash!!! Whip to the opposite corner and another Splash!!! Rico falls to his knees and Booker T kicks him in the head, looking madder and madder every second. A snap suplex leaves Rico holding his back as he tries to get up. Booker with a series of elbows. Kick to the gut . . . Booker bounces off the ropes, SCISSORS KICK!!!! Booker hooks the leg, 1!! 2!! 3!! And this one is over.

Booker celebrates in the ring and does the Spin-A-Roonie for the fans’ entertainment before leaving the ring.

Segment 10: Departure

Rating: 77%

Backstage cameras catch up with Jonathan Coachman as he rushed to catch up to Goldberg, who was holding his bags and walking toward an exit door of the arena.

Coach:

“Goldberg!! Bill!! Bill!! A few words about your heinous act earlier before you leave.”

Goldberg either does not hear him or pretends not to hear him or is just ignoring him.

Coach:

“Bill!! A few words about your cowardly attack on Triple H!.”

Goldberg suddenly stops and turns slowly to face Coach. Coach’s sarcastic smile slowly fades away. Now he is starting to look scared.

Goldberg:

“Would you like a repeat performance?”

Coach:

“Bill . . . . Come on, man . . . . We go way back.”

Goldberg:

“No we don’t.”

Coach:

“That’s true. Damn.”

Goldberg:

“Call me cowardly all you want. In my opinion, cowardly is sitting on the sideline and paying people money to attack your enemy. That’s why I decided to settle things with my enemy . . . . face to face. And look who’s the one still standing.”

Coach is speechless and Goldberg slams his fist into the exit door. The door bangs open and Goldberg disappears into the night.

{Commercial Break}

Segment 11: Intercontinental Title Match

Rob Van Dam© vs William Regal

Rating: 73/72/75

The crowd cheered Rob Van Dam on as he posed in the ring with the Title. Regal decided not to wait for the bell and clubbed RVD from behind. The crowd started booing as Regal stomped and kicked the Champion. An arm drag later saw Regal lock on an armbar and wrench the arm real tight. RVD reached for the ropes but was just a little out of reach. He managed to roll to his knees and nullify the hold, causing Regal to clothesline him to the mat and lock un the armbar again. RVD struggled but could not roll out of it again. He writhed in pain for several seconds and Regal progressively tightened the hold.

Finally RVD was able to reach the bottom rope by stretching out for it. The ref made Regal break the hold. Regal was getting cocky at this point. He was trying to pull RVD up when RVD struck him with a fist to the stomach. On his feet, RVD delivered a spinning heel kick that took the challenger down, then went for Rolling Thunder, but the challenger moved. Regal took over again with a series of Chickenwing suplexes, then pulled RVD up and locked on a modified half nelson/armbar type submission move, with one arm locking the head and the other wrenching the arm.

Jim Ross:

“Wow, look at this hold. This is sort of similar to what a Crippler Crossface would look like if Benoit were standing up when he locked it on.”

Jerry Lawler:

“Well, hopefully RVD cuts his losses and just gives up now. He can’t defeat a technical genius like Regal with his martial arts arsenal.”

RVD manages to slowly use his legs to stand up, making it hard for Regal to keep the hold. RVD starts delivering elbows to the stomach with his free arm. The hold broken, he dropkicks Regal into the corner, but lands on the arm that Regal has been targeting. RVD is in pain as he writhes on the mat. Regal recovers and stalks him, but RVD rolls him up for a close two count. Regal places a knee in RVD’s back and pulls back on his arms, straining to try to put as much pressure as possible. RVD screams.

Jerry Lawler:

“I never realized how much I missed William Regal. What a competitor.”

RVD suddenly manages to pry one of his arms loose, and spins around, punching Regal in the head. Regal staggers as several more punches follow. RVD stops for a second to nurse his injured arm and Regal flattens him with a big clothesline to the mat. The crowd is really coming alive at this point, cheering for RVD to make a comeback. RVD is on his knees crawling when Regal positions himself where he can wrench the injured arm and pull it up between his own legs, while simultaneously squatting down to add leverage. RVD screams, but with his agile legs is able to sweep kick Regal to the mat.

Regal is down and RVD goes for rolling thunder, but when he tries the flip is when his arm injury kicks in and he can’t complete the move. He falls to the mat. He and Regal both get up at roughly the same time. As Regal approaches RVD performs a leg takedown and slingshots Regal into the top turnbuckle. Regal is down. RVD goes to the top rope – FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!!!! RVD makes the cover – 1!! 2!! 3!!

RVD clutches at his arm as Regal looks absolutely shocked. The ref hands RVD his Intercontinental Title as Raw fades to black.

Quick Results

Scott Steiner d. Tommy Dreamer

Kane d. Garrison Cade

Chris Jericho & Christian d. Hurricane & Rosey

Booker T d. Rico

Intercontinental Title Bout: Rob Van Dam© d. William Regal

Overall Rating: 74%

Television Rating:6.11

Attendance: 7021

Edited May 20, 2004 by raze0811