The "Complete" whacked Out wrestling Memorial...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 11, 2004

AWAMLW Underground

Your hosts are Jason Knight and Joey Styles.

In the ring, Joey Hamm was waiting for his opponent. However, Court H. Bauer came to the ring and took the mic...

Bauer: "Well, well, well, Joey Hamm: The second-in-command of these little punk Death Eaters trying to take down AWAMLW, eh? Well, good news: Just because you HAVE to be under contract by that...loophole...(rest assured, AWAMLW fans, my lawyers are working on getting that closed as we speak... ), but what I CAN do is make sure that until I can fire you punks legally, your lives will be a living hell! So, for your opponents..." Just then, The Headhunters came down to the ring and attacked Joey Hamm!

Knight: "YES! GIVE THAT GUY WHAT HE DESERVES!"

Bauer: Hey, Hamm: If you don't like the match, you can always quit..."

The Headhunters v. Joey Hamm

Who the hell did Joey Hamm piss off to have to fight these two...oh, yeah, the whole "mutiny" thing. But I digress... Surprisingly, the team meshed somewhat well with Hamm: Nothing spectacular, but not bad for a handicap matchup. Hamm tried to attack each one, but all he could do was a few high-flying moves as the Headhunters proved to be way too big for Hamm's more powerful maneuvers. Pretty quick beatdown, as The Headhunters gave a Double Fat Guy Splash to Hamm to get the win! After the match, the Headhunters continued to beat Hamm, who took a mic as he was still gasping for breath to sell the finisher...

Hamm: "You....you...beat...me...fair...and square...you...should...get....more respect...fight...good...tag teams...and...and...real...talents...And...and Greeks...YOU KNOW...MEN FROM GREECE?" Just then, the Men From Greece rushed the ring and attacked the Headhunters, helping Hamm to the back!

(37, 72, 54)

(NATIONAL WOMEN'S) Sharon Goddard v. Kari-Chan

And apparently, it's not enough that AWAMLW punishes Death Eaters, as they also had to punish their fans by putting Kari-Chan in a match. Look, there are plenty of very pretty female wrestlers who can also hold their own in a matchup. Kari-Chan is not one of them. As such, Sharon Goddard tried desperately to carry the eye candy to a decent match, just leading Kari-Chan to bump a lot. This made for an interesting match, in the Japanese "Big, angry, butch woman DESTROYING smaller, cuter opponent" sense. Goddard hit a nice LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! for the big victory. Afterwards, Sharon Goddard set Kari-Chan up for a Reverse Goddard Driver on the title belt...until Jamie Kogyaru ran down and attacked!

Knight: "Why is Jamie Kogyaru doing something like that? Let Sharon Goddard break that bitch's neck! She'd deserve every bit of it!"

Styles: "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

Jamie Kogyaru hit a Panty Flash on Goddard as Underground went to break!

(46, 46, 45)

After the break, Terry Funk came out brandishing some weapons and pointed to the wOw locker room...

"So, you lily-livered wOw punks found some way to come back? I'll take any one of you on in a matchup tonight- just as long as I can do WHATEVER I want in this match!" Just then, "Suicide Samurai" hit as Finale came to the ring to take that challenge!

Terry Funk v. Finale

Well, this wasn't too horrid for a hardcore matchup...It wasn't one of either of these two's best performances, but the two managed to get it over. The two are both skilled at managing to tell a story, even with weaponry. However, they weren't as great as they would be with others, IMO. The thing that surprised me was Funk losing cleanly to Finale- I thought AWAMLW guys wouldn't job to wOw guys. At the very least, it gives more respect for the legend Funk being willing to job clean to a likely pick to be the next great hardcore legend...

(70, 78, 74)

After that match, I heard my AWA "ripoff" theme music start up in my head. I brought my title to the ring. I heard the mixed response of the crowd as I grabbed the mic...

"We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Didja miss us? It seems Bauer claimed that we couldn't be in this one, but luckily for me, there's that double loophole: 1) If I hold an AWA title, he can't touch me, 2) My contract's linked now to my boys in the Death Eaters: I stay, all my boys and gals stay! And, since I DON'T plan to lose this belt..." I patted my East Coast Title... "You're all stuck with me!" Just then, I heard Steve Corino's music hit...

Corino: "If you disrespect the legend of the American Wrestling Association, you disrespect the entire business, period! I don't care if you 'respect' the second-rate place that title's associated with: NO ONE who disrespects the AWAMLW deserves to hold any title, period!" Steve Corino headed to the ring and attacked me as the bell rang.

(EAST COAST) Harry Potsmoker v. Steve Corino

WHEN OVERRATED INDY STARS COLLIDE~! These two had a similar skill for it: Both very charismatic but little else, both not having as much in-ring ability as the Internet claims they have: It should have worked. However, the two only put on a fairly decent match to that level. The crowd was loving every minute of it, but the in-ring ability was only par for the course. Corino used a lot of strong-style moves (that Potsmoker apparently wasn't ready for) to try to attack the East Coast champ, putting Potsmoker on the defensive...>>

I knew I had a very small chance to do this. I tried making a few minor moves: Dropkicks, nice speedy moves, anything to try to dazzle Corino to stop his stiffness. Finally, he headed up to the top rope. I grabbed the belt and clocked him with it as the crowd voiced its (dis)approval in that great mixed reaction I'm getting. Just as Corino went through, I was up there with him...

Corino: "You're not leaving with that belt- I'm driving you guys out of AWAMLW, then I'll trash that two-bit federation's title for Court H. Bauer!"

"That's fine, Mr. Corino. Now, I know you know wrestling, so do the math right here. You are on the top rope with me. This is the way that I pull off a little finisher that your AWAMLW announcers call the Babylon Fall, but everyone in wOw knows as My Final Heaven. In this move, I take the devastating Tiger Driver, and do it from the top rope. This alone could be enough to snap your neck like a twig if I stiff you. If that's not enough- your claims against wOw and against me could make me want to make it stiffer: like, say, a top-rope Tiger Driver '91. Risk it, and you have a 6'2'' guy lift you up on a rope 5 feet above the ring, then dropping you on your head. Piss me off more- I might just do the same to the outside of the ring- you'd be going down about 16 feet before your head smashes on the concrete like an overripe melon. Now, I don't know if I could do this...but if I'm threatened, I can get very risky- maybe not even enough to protect my opponent. So, my question is this...Do you, or any of your little AWAMLW friends feel lucky? Well, do you?" I grabbed him and hit the move on him, getting the three.

"Well, look at that- you were lucky after all..." I heard my music hit as I ran back to the dressing room. After a little bit, Steve Corino headed in. I could hear him warning AWAMLW guys, "Be wary on Harry Potsmoker- that guy is insane!" I smiled. Suddenly, Robbie headed over to me...

Robbie: "That almost reminded me...I figure, since people will want to stiff you, you're going to need a bodyguard in AWAMLW..."

"I see. Who's your choice?" Robbie whispered a name into my ear...

"You're serious? That guy's a psychopath!"

Robbie: "Well, yeah, but who else will stop those guys from this stuff?"

"Good point. Plus, he's wOw, he's automatically more trustworthy than most."

Robbie: "Excellent. He'll be here Saturday." I was slightly worried as I watched the last matchup...

(76, 75, 75)

(Number-one contender) Dustin Rhodes v. Jerry Lynn

Well, I was pleasantly surprised here. The battle of people who were chewed up and spit out by the WWE went over well, despite the complete clash of styles between Rhodes and Lynn. A few nice moves came out by each man, as the two were able to put on a really nice show. Jerry Lynn took an advantage, and went for a Cradle Piledriver...until Christopher Daniels came in and hit Lynn with the title belt! Dustin Rhodes took the advantage and hit a Powerslam on Lynn for the victory, getting a shot on Saturday for the AWA World Title!

(76, 80, 78)

Overall: 67

Edited August 15, 2004 by Reflecto

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 11, 2004

Meanwhile, in a small apartment somewhere in Minnesota, Ms.Hardy, Jared Steele, and Vance Nevada were completely beat.

Hardy: "I don't think they followed us..." Hardy looked around the apartment, closing the blinds on the window. "There- we're away from prying eyes..."

Steele: "Great...one question, why are they going after us?" Ms.Hardy looked at Jared.

Hardy: "Well, I suppose you two deserve an explanation. Basically, you guys made a gimmick based on the Redemption Crew..."

Steele: "I get that...but what's the problem?"

Hardy: "The Redemption Crew OWN IWA-Mid South. The entire company's intended to fail as a tax writeoff, hence why they changed its entire style. They're just waiting to run out of money, then the Redemption Crew can close it up, get all the money back, and use it for their real goals..."

Nevada: "Okay...and what would they be?"

Hardy: "Maybe I should give you the Redemption Crew's history. As far as I researched, they started out as a group dedicated to censoring things- similar to the FCC today. They disliked anything, they found ways to get what they wanted. If it got through and was unsavory, it was usually because the Redemption Crew were funding it. That was the original plan, and got them through into the 1980s. Suddenly, the mood changed. They lost a little power, and finally needed to diversify. They went into political games, and got various people in their ranks to run for offices in different parties. Eventually, by 1990, they had finally struck: They took control of a major city in Ohio. By 1995, the entire state was under their grasp, and they just kept gaining ground in the Midwest from there. In some cities where their hold is strongest, they say you can't run for office, buy property, go to school, or get any type of license unless you pledge loyalty to the Redemption Crew..."

Steele: "So that's what the 'Education Services Release' paper I signed when the University of Cincinnati accepted me was..."

Ms.Hardy: "Hold up...you signed that thing? Congratulations- you cannot cash the check you got for the last show. If you do, then they'll be able to find everything about you in an instant from your signature. You, your friends, your family: All of them will be in danger."

Steele: "Oh, yeah: If I cash that check, that guy from Tough Enough will attack me...really scary..." Suddenly, Ms.Hardy stood up.

Hardy: "It's not simple as that. If he's a wrestler who's attacking, I'd bet anything that he's an Enforcer..."

Nevada: "Enforcer?"

Hardy: "The Enforcers are the code name they use for the people who go on the attack to keep the Redemption Crew in order. I don't know why they call them that, myself. The wrestlers...I'm not sure why they'd go there, but odds are they thought IWA-Mid South would be paying them big money."

Steele: "I see. So basically: We're fucked?"

Hardy: "Like a referee sent into the showerroom with Bradshaw."

Steele: "Yikes."

Hardy: "I'll have to stay with you two- I wouldn't doubt they'll be back. You need to become better fighters if you're going to have any hope of this stuff."

Steele: "Can I find out the Raw results first? Some of my buddies work in the WWE..." Jared and Vance headed to the Internet while Ms.Hardy fumed in the background...

Hardy: "Rassafrassin' what's their problem...I'm only trying to save their lives...Ooh, they wrestled? Cool..."

Shane Goddard v. Steven Richards (66, 84, 75)

Molly Holly v. Lita (75, 68, 72)

Nicholas Dinsmore and Bradley Richter d. Darkness' Children (51, 85, 68)

Justice League d. Mark Henry and Rodney Mack (64, 74, 79)

AJ Styles d. Tito Ortiz (76, 84, 80)

Maven d. Jerry Lawler by John Heidenreich interference (87, 56, 77)

After that match, Jared managed to find a video on WWE.com of part of Raw, where the Coach was backstage with Booker T...

Coach: "We're back with Booker T. Booker, at Summerslam you went and proclaimed it was you who was behind the attacks by John Heidenreich on Jerry Lawler. Can you explain why you've FINALLY smartened up, dog?"

Booker: "Well, you see, Coach, it was a long time coming, ya hear? I mean, people out there know my problems, man. I admit: My life had some checkered times in it. In one of my worst mistakes, I did something I'm not proud of- I robbed a Wendy's back in 1984, okay? I admit it, but come on, people! I tried to rise above that, yo! I get my head back on straight, I start wrestling- I get the outlet that I truly needed to get beyond that stuff, and I start to rise through the ranks. I become a very good wrestler, and then reach the top of the mountain: I become a FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME WCW Champion, I main event Wrestlemania: I basically prove I've risen above my youthful mistakes. Then, I happen to hear some stuff, and I find out that Jerry Lawler kept on talking about my past- bringing up the fact that when I was younger and didn't know better, I had made some mistakes! Sure, I did some things I'm not proud of, but that's something that anyone who knows me would know shouldn't be held against me! I rose above that; I straightened out, and I paid my debt to society! It's because of Jerry Lawler's problems with this- not allowing a brother to get on with his life, that I looked through his OWN records. It wasn't hard to find these things, specifically the fact that Jerry Lawler liked young kids! Only problem: Instead of being like me and saying 'I did it, I'm paying my debt to society, now I'm gonna get on with my life and prove it was a one-time mistake', Lawler found some high-priced lawyer, got off scot-free, and proceeded to laugh it up. Once that occurred, every second I heard him mock my own checkered past like that was like a dagger to me, knowing that the person who did it was probably a worse human being than I am! When I got the opportunity, and this stuff had a chance to get found out, I just had to take it: I had to prove that Jerry Lawler is nothing but scum! NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT..." Booker left the room as the video cut out. A little while later, as the three kept reading the results, they got a call...

Nevada: "He...hello? Who...who is this? How'd you get our number?"

Booker T: "SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

(94) (Re-Release Notes: Remember, kids- maybe my angles are unsavory, but if you let mine play out, there's ALWAYS some semblance of a realistic reason for them. Not like other people who lynch black guys for heel heat or rape women and then treat it as another angle...

*paid for by Team whacked Out wrestling, who remind you that Reflecto is the most talented pure writer on the Diary Dome today, and if you're not reading whacked Out wrestling Memorial, then you wouldn't know quality writing if it bit you on the ass.*)

Dudley Boyz and Lance Storm d. MF'ers (Matt Hardy and Two Bad MF'ers) (74, 75, 74)

Chris Benoit d. Rhyno (81, 82, 81)

Shawn Michaels d. John Cena (91, 75, 86)

Triple H d. Chris Jericho by X-Pac interference (92, 76, 87)

Overall: 79

Nevada: "Just great. I miss Raw for the first time in a long while, and it was a good show."

Steele: "Oh, sure...my boys Shane and Bradley repped wOw well, but...dude: They brought back X-Pac. That negates all these problems."

Nevada: "Well, maybe, but who knows: This could be a good thing..." Meanwhile, after Raw...

HHH: "We've-uh got three of us-uh...two more to go-uh..."

Michaels: "You know it...The Clique must ride again..." Just then, Shane Goddard walked into the room.

Goddard: "Um...I've got a replacement Motorhead CD like you wanted..."

HHH: "Thanks-uh...they keep dying on me-uh..."

Goddard: "Yeah. You might want to stop keeping it on one-track repeat; that can happen after as much time as you use it..."

HHH: "There's oth-uh tracks-uh?" Triple H looked confused as Shane Goddard gave the new CD to Lamont. Lamont put the CD in, found the proper track, and let it run as Goddard left.

Michaels: "He seems harmless...have Stephanie give him a push..."

HHH: "You-uh said it..."

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 11, 2004

TNA XPlosion

We're live from TNA's last night on Prime Time- apparently, The Wrestling Network felt it'll work better on during the graveyard shift (because, you know: EVERYONE watches the number two company in the world's shows at 2 a.m...)

Your hosts are Dave Meltzer and Jocelyn Richter.

Qualifying Match for Super X Tournament: Team Europe (Alex Wright, Crazy Sexy Mike, Flash Christian, X-Dream)

Okay...Europe is a much larger continent than most of the other groups. There are many different types of country and people in the continent, as could be expected. This was perfectly simulated in Team Europe, as all four have somewhat different styles. This is good for matches, but when they need to fight, it leaves the viewer with a total styles clash. The match was just a train wreck: the Europeans didn't have much of a crowd reaction, and weren't good enough together to cover that. In addition, the match end was almost painfully obvious- let's see: Three people the average American's never heard of...and former WCW star Alex Wright...GEE, who do you think is going to win that one? As expected, Alex Wright basically squashed his teammates, getting the right to represent the continent of Europe in the Super-X Tournament. I'm loaded with indifference...

(33, 69, 45)

Meltzer: "What great action, as the superb wrestler Alex Wright qualifies for the Super-X Tournament!"

Richter: "...How DO you sleep at night, Dave?"

Meltzer: "On a bed much more fully packed with money than the average person here who's signed to a backstage interviewer's contract..."

Richter: "...just asking..."

Qualifying match for Super-X Tournament: Team Japan (Masahiro Indohara, Hi69, TAKA Michinoku, Jushin Liger)

Now THIS is what I'm talking about for an X-Division matchup. These four have something most of these other teams have in here: You know, Talent...? The ability to mesh well? As a result, this match was actually really good, considering all things. It was pretty obvious here it would come down to Michinoku or Liger, which helped out. Masahiro Indohara and Hi69 are good hands, to be sure, but they just don't deserve a push as Japan's champion just yet. Michinoku and Liger got rid of the Japan "B-Team", then managed to put on a nice high-flying affair between themselves that made me beg to see them in a one-on-one matchup. Surprisingly, TAKA Michinoku got the win here- I assumed that since Jushin Liger is the more well-known one, he'd get the nod to represent Japan. It doesn't matter as much here: With these two, TNA really couldn't go wrong.

(55, 86, 63)

After the break, James Mitchell and Slash were in the ring...

Mitchell: "For too long, my minions have been attacking NWATNA, and failing. Brian Lee had proved too weak for my needs...Sinn does not have the killer instinct yet, and has been sent on a pilgrimage to the Wildside of the NWA, in an attempt to gain that. Despite this, my New Church has ALWAYS recovered from these failures, and gotten stronger. With that, I am proud to present to you my newest minion in the fight for evil...someone who is intensely violent, and will manage to destroy all those who would stand in our way. I give you...PASSION!" With that, Passion (who my sources told me is more well-known working as Halo in whacked Out wrestling) went to the ring and stood beside the New Church as they waited for their matchup!

(74)

The New Church (Slash/Passion) v. The MTV Superstars (Mike the Miz/Rory Fox)

Okay, this is a question mark. On the one hand, TNA just debuted Passion in the previous segment, and it would make sense that he would go over. On the other hand, this is the in-ring debut for these two members of Ultra-Reality, and thus it makes sense that THEY would go over. What would the answer be? I'm going with, "Who cares...this match sucks!" as my guess... The New Church had new-team growing pains, as did the two "MTV Superstars" (because, you know, a "Real World" cast member and a guy who was on an obscure "True Life" special a few years ago are SUCH big names...). However, at least Slash and Passion looked like they belonged in a wrestling ring: Both of the MTV Superstars (indeed, I would bet most of Ultra-Reality) REALLY need more time to develop before they can manage to be something worth watching. The New Church managed to get the win here, which could be a good thing: Of the two, The New Church are the team that will likely be able to pay more immediate dividends in the tag team division.

(36, 66, 45)

(X-Title) Chris Sabin v. Shark Boy

Okay, like THIS match isn't painfully obvious. Potentially awesome, maybe...well-done, definitely: But obvious: Mostly. Shark Boy rarely appears on major shows, and Sabin is the champion (and it appears they have more they want to do with him.) The two put on a decent enough show, proving that Shark Boy deserves more play in TNA. Sabin got the win, of course, because this was basically thrown together by the bookers, and thrown-together matches rarely if ever result in title changes. Not too bad in quality, but the crowd didn't buy it due to its obvious thrown-together nature.

(38, 86, 55)

After the match, Chris Sabin celebrated in the ring, until the TNATron started up again...

(INT. A black room. The now-familiar back view came.)

Voice: "Well, well, well- another day, another retain by one of those...plain X-Division wrestlers." The crowd started booing...

Voice: "You go out there every night, and try to kill yourself, just so that a few marks can ooh and aah about how you tried to kill yourself for their amusement. But at the end of the day, no one cares." (The black room got a few lights in back of it.)

Voice: "But me...I am smart enough to know where the real pleasure lies...whether it's in a ring, on a stage, or where else, I know that my people truly love me, and I didn't need to try to kill myself to do it..." (The lights went through to reveal a large stage filled with people on the outside.)

Voice: "Besides...as long as it can send both myself and my fans into a state of...complete ecstasy, who cares how it occurs?" ("Goody Two Shoes" played in the background as the people on-screen cheered and the screen went to black.)

Screen: HEISCOMING

X-Division: Prepare to get a little more glamorous..."

(88)

Sonny Siaki v. The Sandman

And the thrown-together matches continue...this time, The Sandman continues his jobbing run putting over the returning (from who-knows-where) Sonny Siaki this time. The match didn't do too much in the way of a match, as these two didn't mesh well at all. Maybe the two didn't mesh, maybe it was "One of those nights"- all I know was that this wasn't very entertaining to me. I have no reason to care for Siaki, and am given no reason save for "he was once in ECW" to care about The Sandman, meaning this was a poor outing. Apparently, this was enough for the fans, as the crowd was actually into it [and to be fair, the match wasn't horrific...] Siaki wins, Siaki tries to continue his run up the card: I don't care, the end.

(70, 76, 65)

After the break, CM Punk and Julio Dinero were WALKING~! backstage...

Dinero: "Excellent, man: Tonight you'll finally get a shot to kick Raven's ass in a one-on-one match...not like it'll be a problem..."

CM Punk: "Of course, money man! I don't think I'll break a sweat against Raven- everyone knows that Straight Edge means I'm better than him any day of the week!"

Dinero: "You know it, man!"

CM Punk: "I don't fear him, or anyone else in NWATNA..." Just then, 3 Live Kru came through and interrupted them!

Konnan: "Oh...so you're saying you don't fear anyone in TNA...so why haven't you given two of us a rematch for those belts you carry around yet?"

CM Punk: "Oh, sure...like I'm really scared of you ...a guy who was so bad he couldn't even manage to be MAX MOON...?" Konnan got a little angry...

Ron Killings: "Come on, yo- we don't need this. Just give us a match!"

Julio Dinero: "Oh...sure...and if we don't? Are you gonna MOVE SOME THANGS on us?" Ron Killings kept getting angrier, when BG James headed over...

BG James: "Well sure- we'll start with those titles off of your waists!"

CM Punk: "Oh, sure...I'd like to see a druggie like you even TRY to stay in the same ring with me..." Just then, BG James ran over and yelled out "SLAP!", bitchslapping CM Punk and sending him down!

Julio Dinero: "What the hell did you just do? CM Punk is your better, you lousy druggie! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

BG: "I'M BG JAMES, BITCH!" BG James ran off in one direction as Julio Dinero tried to help CM Punk get away in the opposite...

Ron Killings: "Dude...what the hell's going on with B-Gizzle?"

Konnan: "I'll tell you one thing, man: Marijuana's a HELL of a drug..."

(69)

Jerry Lynn v. Ron Killings

WOW. Now this is the type of match people expect from NWATNA: A MOTY candidate per show was what helped the federation get its name, which has fallen off in recent times. The two put on an awesome show in the ring, and the crowd managed to enjoy it as well. The match wasn't as great as I'd hope, but it was still an easy match of the night by far. Ron Killings managed to get the win here with the True Conviction- a good sign; Killings deserves to be back in the World Title hunt in NWATNA (of course, Lynn does too, but we'll take what we can get right now...)

(64, 92, 70)

America's Most Wanted v. Red Shirt Security

And the "When Upper-Midcarders Attack Each Other" series continues, as these two teams just go into a brawl to start out. Nothing different than what we've been seeing the last few months, as these two teams just tore into each other. The match seemed a little stale, but the crowd still ate it up...sort of... At least the matchup was good- the two teams have fought each other enough so they know their skill. America's Most Wanted got the win as James Storm hit a nice Top-Rope Bulldog on Kevin Northcutt to seal up the victory. Nothing new here...

(62, 81, 63)

Raven v. CM Punk

Well, I'm disappointed: The Raven/CM Punk eternal feud gets an entry in NWATNA, and it was fairly subpar. I had heard such good things about these two together that it seemed like they'd be awesome in NWATNA, but it was just "good" instead of "spectacular." Honestly, it's funny how that occurs: If you expect something to be great and it's just good, that's a bad thing, but if you expect nothing from it and it's just as good, then it's amazing. CM Punk took advantage of Raven, then put his Tag Team Title on the ground as he set Raven up for the Pepsi Plunge. Julio Dinero set his Tag Team Title on the ground to add more to it...but while he was doing that, Raven fought out of the set up, then hit an Evenflow DDT on CM Punk from the Top Rope onto the title belts! With CM Punk out, Raven easily covered him for the victory! After the match, Raven celebrated- until Julio Dinero attacked Raven.

Dinero: "I hope you're happy now- but this isn't over! My boy's going to kick your ass!" The show ended with Julio Dinero attending to CM Punk.

(73, 83, 70)

Over: 64

Edited August 11, 2004 by Reflecto

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 11, 2004

That Friday, I headed out for one of my "hell tours", starting as always at wOw. When I got there, I was met by a familiar face...

Person: "So, Tommy Goddard! Come say hi to cousin Christian..." Crud...they hired this guy? He has little to no talent in the ring!

"Hello, Christian...what's been going on?"

Christian Eckstein: "You know, nothing major: I got fired from an indy again..." Gee, I wonder why- maybe because you make Billy Gunn look like Chris Benoit and have all the charisma of gravel? "...so anyways, your mom said to call Robbie and he'd come through with a job! You like..." As long as I don't have to work with you...or hang out much with you...or have anything to do with you...you fucking freak...

"Um...sure. You're not...going to...you know, be on wOw's roster?"

Eckstein: "Well, Robbie said he had a possible gimmick for me- I guess I might be..." FUCK! This is going to be bad...I tried to get my mind off of this and go out to the ring for the show. Luckily, I was on first, so there was no problem...

wOw Flagship

Your hosts are Madison Carter and Gristleizer.

As the show started up, Tom Goddard headed to the ring and took a mic, presumably to mimick his older brother's new bestest friend in the whole wide world with a 20 MINUTE PROMO OF DOOM~!

I got to the ring and started talking...

"Now, I know that people here are wondering about some...security malfunctions that have happened in whacked Out wrestling. The past few weeks, some punks claiming they are representing AWA:MLW have come to this ring and attacked me. Now, I'm not going to deny that I know why they're attacking: The fans in Rhode Island are the best fans in the world..." I heard the cheap pops I expected... "...and I know all of you have probably figured out what's been going on in Minneapolis. However, despite this, apparently some punk Harry Smith thinks it's better to represent the 'honor' of a federation that should have stayed dead for 14 years and come to MY house and try to take this title away- not just from me, but from everyone who's ever walked into a wOw dressing room, entered a wOw ring, or watched a wOw show! Therefore, I have an open message to Harry Smith and anyone else who thinks that they want to join with AWA:MLW's attempts to attack us: You may have had some help in Minnesota, but Court H. Bauer isn't around to help you out anymore: Now you're in wOw's house, on wOw's property, and me and every person in this ring, every person in back, and hopefully, every person in the stands or watching this at home who chances to see one of those AWAMLW punks on the street will band together to stop you from taking this *pats belt* by any...and I mean ANY means necessary!"

MMV: "I hate these AWAMLW guys too, but did Tom Goddard just urge the wOw fans to attack Harry Smith on the street?"

Gristleizer: "The views of Tom Goddard are NOT supported by whacked Out wrestling...WINK, WINK, NUDGE, NUDGE..."

(81)

Well, the crowd seemed to like it...I figured they would. Like I was told at an early age; you'll never go hungry pandering to jingoism. I sat by the Gorilla position and watched the rest of the show...

After that occurred, Fast and Furious were in back with their car, admiring its beauty.

Memphis Raines: "Yo, man- we totally kicked ass last week out there. I bet we'll be able to get MAD money, and trick this bad boy out to levels unseen in peacetime!"

Michael Raines: "You know it, bro: As long as this can stay top-quality, we'll be ROLLING in all the other stuff wOw would give us: Money, honeys, and all that stuff!" Just then, Travis Corleone headed over with two people following him...

Corleone: "Very nice car you two have managed to procure..."

Memphis: "I see you know skill when you see it..."

Corleone: "I was wondering: Do you two have the proper insurance for a vehicle like this..."

Michael: "Yo, what you talking about?"

Corleone: "Allow me to introduce my associates, Big Tony and Paul E. We're...insurance salesmen, if you will. A vehicle like this needs a lot of insurance- I mean, it would be a real shame if something were to happen to it..."

Memphis: "You threatening our ride? You mess with our ride, you mess with us!"

Corleone: "Okay, then...my men will see you out there..." The four left each other and got ready.

Fast and Furious v. Good Fellas Inc.

Okay, this match was one of the best pleasant surprises I got all year. The two teams actually managed to mesh extremely well in the ring, even if they couldn't outside of it as much (I'm not aware of that endless battle between illegal street racers and two-bit thugs...) The two just settled on telling a story in the ring, and the result ended up as one of the best-wrestled matches I've seen in the past few months from wOw. It also was surprising as well, as Fast and Furious picked up the win: Apparently, they must have impressed wOw brass, as if they were able to get a win against home-grown prospects like Good Fellas Inc., that says something...

(58- lost in-depth)

After the break, a video aired on the wOwTron...

<<WARNING: The opinions in the following video are NOT the opinions of whacked Out wrestling, whacked Out wrestling Memorial, or anyone involved in the creation of whacked Out wrestling or whacked Out wrestling Memorial. The author hereby blames his assistant. >>

Ooh...according to what I heard, this is supposed to be my cousin's video...please screw up, please screw up...

(INT. A police office. Things go on around, while someone talks in voiceover.)

V/O: "Sometimes, this job gets tough...too tough for any of us to manage."

(More scenes occur.)

V/O: "All the perps that we've had to catch, track down, sometimes kill: It'll get to you..."

(More action occurs in the background, as it shifts to inside a police car.)

V/O: "It's almost enough to make any man go crazy. However, I am at least lucky enough to go home, and be able to know that it's all worthwhile..."

(The back of the officer's seen...only to look less like an officer and more like a rabbi. Eventually, the person's mother [who more "astute" wOw fans from old-school are claiming was "The Eastern Cowgirl" Annie Eckstein] comes out...)

Mother: "So, where have you been all this long? Honestly, bubbeleh, you never call, you never write...how am I supposed to know if one of these crooks has killed you? What'd I do then?"

Screen:

NYPD JEW

Coming Soon...>> The crowd started giving MASSIVE "X-Pac" heat to the video as it ended, and I couldn't help but join in on the boos.

(32)

After the break, Robbie Richter rushed over to me...

Robbie: "Okay...this is terrible! That's supposed to be a face gimmick! WHAT THE HELL was that reaction all about?"

"Well...I'm not surprised: You put Christian in a video, and don't expect the fans to boo it? And what was up with you putting my mother in that train wreck, anyways?"

Robbie: "Later, later...I'm willing to see this..." Something's definitely up on that one... "Anyway, I'll give it one more chance, but if you see Christian before I do, tell him he's OUT as NYPD Jew, and his ass is going to ACW as soon as possible. Lord knows he needs it. Hopefully, we can find someone who'll be able to fill the role, at least to see if it'll get over as someone else..."

(National Women's) Sharon Goddard v. Barbara Vixen

Once again, after a segment that could damn near kill the company with its incredibly bad nature, wOw turns to Sharon Goddard in an attempt to salvage the night. The unfortunate thing is, it didn't manage to pacify the crowd as much as it was hoped. This is a shame: Goddard and Barbara Vixen really mesh well in the ring, and the match was one of the better women's matches I've seen on this side of the Pacific. Sharon Goddard got the victory here, which was also a good thing- Vixen's way too obscure for a nationwide push as Women's champion.After the match, Sharon Goddard celebrated...until Jamie Kogyaru ran in and attacked her in a painfully predictable finish. Is there any originality in wOw? Oh, wait...with vignettes like the last one, maybe predictability is a GOOD thing...

(49)

After the match, Danny Doring and Roadkill were in the ring waiting for an opponent. Just then, Paul London came back out to the surprise of the crowd (and me; I thought the WWE guys weren't still working here) with Spanky, as we had ourselves a match!

Doring and Roadkill v. London and Spanky

Now THIS is a match to try and get the fans back into it- two insanely talented tag teams get together and fight. In the case of London and Spanky and Doring and Roadkill, you get one team that was one of the most underrated in the WWE and one of the indies' best teams. The teams managed to put on a nice show in the ring, making the fans that stayed this long pleased. London and Spanky double-teamed Roadkill, managing to get the big man down. Suddenly, Detective Chris Hamrick and Sherlock Homeless distracted Danny Doring, allowing Paul London to hit a London Calling on Roadkill for the victory!

(72)

After that match, I was honestly surprised- so much so that I had to go over to Paul London to see what was up...

London: "What- you planning to gloat, Goddard? Go ahead..."

"What? I was just surprised you were here..."

London: "Well, your little no-selling extravaganza with me got the WWE pissed off...look at this..." Paul London grabbed a nearby copy of the Observer and showed me an article...

WWE Cuts Roster Talents...

-In a surprising move, the WWE has reportedly announced that they've released wrestlers Paul London and Chuck Palumbo.

The two moves reportedly occurred due to problems when they worked indies, with many claiming the two went against a direct order by the WWE and jobbed when they weren't supposed to. According to Paul London's claims on his website, however, his jobbing was not his own fault, which led to the WWE taking off his 'no-compete' clause as a way to sweeten his deal and reportedly stop any hopes of a lawsuit.

"Okay...and why would you come back here, then?"

London: "Simple: I'm going to fight my way to the top of wOw, and then I'm going to wrestle you, and then I'll make you pay. Then, once I get your title, I'm sure I'll be welcomed back to the WWE with open arms..." Well, this is an interesting development...

Jeff Hardy v. Harry Smith

This match was billed as a number-one contender's match for the wOw World Title...where both men proved that they didn't deserve to be in a number one contender's position. I don't know what's up with Jeff Hardy, but he doesn't manage to be as sharp in wOw than he is in AWAMLW. This wasn't helped by Harry Smith having a matchup that was decidedly horrific, moreso when you consider that he's the one billed as wOw's current foil to the top face. Jeff Hardy got the win here following Tom Goddard rushing the ring and clocking Harry Smith with the title belt. After the match, Hardy and Goddard shook hands and celebrated as the fans cheered and Flagship went off the air...

(60)

After the match, I headed back to the dressing room. However, I had to know one thing before I went through...

"Hi, Jeff?"

Jeff Hardy: "Yeah- what's going on, man?"

"I have one question. I've seen you putting on some awesome matches in AWAMLW, but for some reason, your matches aren't that good here. Just wondering if there's any problems here in whacked Out wrestling..."

Jeff: "Well, it's a little bit of my typical problems, you know? The loneliness, that stuff. AWAMLW really helped me out with that: In order to get me to sign with them, they took on my dad as a road agent...really nice move, and helps keep me somewhat grounded, you know?"

"I understand."

Jeff: "It's really helpful. My dad comes through, heads up to Minnesota whenever I have a match, and I feel more at ease."

"I can dig where you're coming from. Your dad sounds nice- I'd like to meet him..."

Jeff: "Sure- he'll be there tomorrow for the PPV. I'm sure you're going...you know, take over AWAMLW..."

"You got it, man." I left and headed back to the dressing room...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 11, 2004

PAID ADVERTISMENT: Part 1

Naze Nani wOwFed!

"Hi, everybody, I'm Tom Goddard. Welcome to the first installment of a little feature we've made to sort of bring people up to speed on the all-around of wOwfed: Answer possible questions and all of that. Today's installment will be a pretty fair one for wOw Memorial fans: A brief 'IRL' history of the fed, the myth: whacked Out wrestling. You know, just tell you why you should care about us..."

History of wOw: The beginning...

Like all truly great Internet wrestling/comedy success stories, the whacked Out wrestling story begins with the best success story in wrestling/humor history: Wrestlecrap.com- specifically, the original Wrestlecrap fan forum. This had gained some success as the "unofficial" fan forum for the site, gaining a measure of success- until it was abruptly closed in August of 2001. Some fans tried to make new places for this, leading to the formation of the direct descendent of this: whacked Out wrestling. This new version rocketed up Delphi's ranks, peaking when, at the time that it moved via Delphi instituting its for-pay scenario, it was the number-one wrestling board on Delphi- amazing, considering that it had gotten that far without a website to back it up. Truly, this was a success in the Internet wrestling world.

Lo...there shall come...wOwfed!

Since these people had grown to be leaders in the "smarkass" movement of wrestling fans, it was natural they would like to mock things. A regular target: Banned members, trolls, and the like. Eventually, leaders in the board made a mock federation dedicated to making fun of these trolls and keeping them under. The fed tanked, mostly due to the people in charge not liking what they did. The ball was dropped by heads of the federation, before going into the hands of one of wOw's then-underneath members- A classically trained writer-turned-mad scientist of the craft willing to do whatever it took to make a good story. As of 2002, wOwfed took off, and kept gaining steam from there.

From there, the wOwfed band grew larger, encompassing a number of wild characters: Two would-be comic writers- one with a taste for the insane, one with a taste for more serious ventures, a mage of PuroresuCrap, a former legit e-fed leader (the only one in the wOwfed core with actual experience at the form), and a the top gimmick creator on many places (including the Battleground) all managed to join up with this group, each adding their own touches to turn wOwfed into one of the most well-written e-feds (as far as story goes) in the world today.

NEW CHALLENGES

Over the next few years, the fed kept gaining ground. Eventually, when the smoke cleared, wOwfed became arguably the top ongoing wrestling-related series (the booker chose this term to officially take them away from the world of e-feds...) on the Internet today. Why would they claim that, especially when they're unknown? Well, how many other efeds, indeed, how many other wrestling sites on the Internet can make the claim that they're linked on two of the world's top Internet wrestling websites as the wOwfed can- wrestlecrap.com and thesmartmarks.com both link to portions of wOwfed's history! Clearly, wOwfed had taken over- but that was not enough for their leader. In August of 2003, wOwfed's unofficial creator and head booker "Reflecto" shocked wOwfed fans by abruptly going solo, moving the wOwfed ideal to the Extreme Warfare Battleground. According to him: "It's important to me that in order to make sure my own writing skills keep getting tested, I regularly switch to different areas of writing. I still consider wOwfed one of my babies, but it is impossible to become a better writer if everyone who reads wOwfed is already a member of my fanbase. Only by going to new areas can I increase my readers, and by logic, increase the potential to become one of the best writers on the planet. In addition, I felt that we needed to move it to more of a story-base than wOwfed could have ever been by its nature, and in addition fine-tune wOwfed to something that eventually can be made into a possible legitimate series." With this in mind, Reflecto moved the series to the EWB Diary Dome in September of 2003 with whacked Out wrestling Memorial: Volume 1...where it tanked. However, Reflecto was not to be denied, coming back in January with the diary you're (hopefully) reading here, sporting a different style than the previous one.

The Future of wOwfed, wOw Memorial, etc.

Don't ask me: We're winging this stuff as we go along.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE EDITIONS OF Naze Nani wOwFed: Where we plan to slowly let you, the EWB fans in on the little things that make this diary what it is!

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 11, 2004

NAZE NANI wOwFed:

Part Two: wOw Memorial Frequently Asked Questions!

Question 1:

"Why are there five different diaries in this?"

Short answer: Reflecto has WAY too much free time.

Long answer: Reflecto has way, way, way, way, WAY too much free time.

Pretentious answer: "The writer felt that by adding more feds to the mix, he would be able to paint a much better picture of the American independent scene than any other diary on the Dome does. In following the adventures, misadventures, and so on of everyone in wOwfed, he felt he could better signify the bonds between the workers and also better show how wrestling is taking to this federation in the time since it has gone on. Plus, he has WAY too much free time."

Question 2:

I notice too many things that appear to be ripped off from other places. Can you comment?

Short answer: "No comment..."

Long answer: "Um...next question, please?"

Pretentious answer: "The writer is doing homage to all the things that inspire this story, and have worked on shaping the 'base' wOwfed into something that is much more than its parts. Other than that, no comment."

Question 3:

This series sucks. How do you sleep at night?

Short answer: "YO' MAMA!"

Long answer: "YO' MAMA didn't say it sucked..."

Pretentious answer: "The way the writer has changed the diary involves a whole style change. After previous failures, the writer has decided to go in a direction booking to those who are already fans, booking to the voices in his head, and the like. If this does not work, I must consider the fact that your maternal parent would not be able to go to a wOw show if the fed existed due to being so large she would take up all the space in Rhode Island."

Question 4:

Why does the protagonist manage to get all those girls? He must have more than James Bond...

Short answer: He's a pimp!

Long answer: Tom Goddard's a motherfuckin' pimp!

Pretentious answer: "As part of the new direction of wOw Memorial, a large portion was taken from Japanese dating sims [where the title comes from, in fact.] Part of this style involves a large amount of females in the game, all of whom will want to be with the hero of the game. Due to this, having the main character have all these girls after him is necessary for the goal. Besides, he's a pimp- what can I say?"

Question 5:

What's with the Redemption Crew, and those out-of-ring fights?

Short answer: "Imagination..."

Long answer: "Imagination..."

Pretentious answer: "The Redemption Crew originally began as a wOwfed-only gimmick, without the censor overtones. Reflecto's IRL-assistant proceeded to suggest they be brought into wOw Memorial, which led to their existence. As for the out-of-ring fights, those are mostly done by imagination."

Question 6:

Sherlock Homeless? NYPD Jew? Are you guys serious?

Short answer: "Wasn't me..."

Long answer: "I had nothing to do with those gimmicks, I'm just the messenger..."

Pretentious answer: "whacked Out wrestling, at its core, is still a Wrestlecrap-based federation. To this end, it is the writer's duty to remain true to its roots and bring incredibly bad gimmicks into the fray whenever they can fit with the overall 'wOw Story.' In order to make it more original, the writers try to make their Wrestlecrappy gimmicks in-house instead of relying all the time on real-life bad gimmicks. Granted, some IRL Wrestlecrap will occur, but only when it makes sense. Gimmicks like these are the lifeblood of wOw- this is a federation who's biggest hero uses a Harry Potter gimmick. Besides, Reflecto didn't come up with those gimmicks- they were given to him by another wOw booker..."

Question 7:

Why all these "Side Stories", "FAQs," and the like?

Short answer: "No computer at home...

Long: "College constraints..."

Pretentious: "The writer is not just one of the world's best unknown masters of a number of writing styles, he is also a college student at a fairly small school in Vermont. This is not his home state, meaning he has to return home frequently for vacations and such. His computer with EWR stays at school, which means he needs something to tide people over until he gets back. Hence, things like these."

Question 8:

CanIjoin?CanIjoin? PleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE!!!! I've got this character, and it R0XX0RZ! He's a blatant rip-off of Raven, but still- that R0XX0rZ! Let me in and push me to the moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111oneoneoneeleveneleven

Short answer: "We don't actively troll for new members, sorry..."

Long answer: "Only if we can fit it in the story..."

Pretentious: "The last time we had someone try that, we allowed it. The character then got watered down. At the last time we checked, the character was taken over in-house and turned into Mr. Productive Anal Virginity, a guy whose spot entails wrestling and jobbing in FMW-style Anal Explosion matches. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?"

Question 9:

How are all of these wOwfed characters coming in?

Short: "Editing..."

Long: "Editing and minor changes..."

Pretentious: "90% of the wOwfedders were added in by editing a RaveX scenario and deleting feds that closed in wOw Memorial 1. In addition, any other wOwfed wrestlers we needed were edited while playing, taking random jobbers and utilizing them that way."

Question 10:

How do I submit a character?

Short: "Not interested..."

Long: "Check the last website in the sig..."

Pretentious: "We're sorry, but wOw Memorial is not accepting new characters. All new characters introduced in wOw Memorial are either the brainchild of Reflecto or another wOw booker on the Battleground who serves as Reflecto's IRL assistant for this venture."

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 14, 2004

(Pre-next update Re-Release Notes: Around this is one of those posts that was surprisingly one of the harder cuts for it. When it was originally posted, it was intended due to outside-EWR things; namely, returning to college following Easter break to find that one of the school's staff members who I considered a friend had passed away during the break. As a result, I put up a tribute through my characters- not bad originally, but during the repost, it became a hard "elimination" due to the fact that its very nature made it really too far out of the story. Perhaps eventually (if this manages to be popular enough so I could,) it could see the light of day on EWBIV, but I'm not sure whether it will. Until then, let's go to the next "in-canon" part of the story...)

The next night, we made it to Minneapolis a little too late. Apparently, some unforeseen circumstances caused us to get in late, or something like that. I guess that's how things occur, to tell the truth- but I digress. Luckily, most of us tend to dress on the bus, that way if things like this occur, we can just walk in and do our thing. It also gives some very nice fringe benefits (if I hadn't already tasted what Kari and Lori had to offer outside the ring, that would be a hella sweet bonus for coming to Minneapolis all these times. As it stands, I know any horny hybrid mark in the country would pay good money on eBay for one of my disposable cameras during these rides...) I looked around to try to find Jeff, but he was nowhere to be found. However, I had heard through the grapevine we were scheduled for tonight's show, so I'd probably see him before too long. Luckily, it seemed like the show was about to start- a good thing; I don't like to spend a lot of time around people I know want to kick my ass...

AWA: Major League Wrestling

Your hosts are Jason Knight and Joey Styles.

The Headhunters began the show in the ring. Headhunter A took the mic...

Headhunter: "Hey- we beat that punk Joey Hamm down for you- when will we get a match to help us in the title race? We want some quality opponents..." Just then, the soundsystem cut to Tom Green saying "...Like...like basketball players...and Greeks...YOU KNOW, MEN FROM GREECE?" "Grease" then hit as the Men From Greece rushed the ring and attacked!

The Headhunters v. The Men From Greece

Okay, this is a match I've wanted to see. The Headhunters have always been a guilty pleasure of mine, and the Men From Greece are arguably the hottest pure tag team in the US today- a well-deserved tag for them, as they've managed to become one of the many wOw-based tag teams who can put on a good match with two broomsticks. As a result, the fans were given an awesome brawl to start out the night. The two teams' teamwork and skill managed to put on a decent showing for the whole of this. Headhunter B started attacking and went for a Fat Guy Splash on Nico, until Joey Hamm distracted the referee, allowing Stavros to switch places with him. Stavros then managed to attack Headhunter B, finally hitting a HOPA! Bionic Elbow on Headhunter B to get the victory! After the match, the three invaders celebrated as the Headhunters fumed in the ring.

(38, 89, 63)

After the break, Court H. Bauer was in his office, when the Headhunters busted in.

Bauer: "What do you two think you want now? You couldn't win ONE match for me, and you bust in here?"

Headhunter A: "I'll tell you our problem: The only reason we lost to those punks is they're using unfair tactics against the good AWAMLW teams!"

Headhunter B: "You saw that ending- they're using the fact that they're identical twins to steal victories from MLW workers!"

Court H. Bauer looked at the two, then replied:

Bauer: "Well, if it'll cause a problem for those...Easterners...so be it! Henceforth, in AWAMLW, every team must have some defining physical characteristic that will make them able to be told apart before entering the ring. If the two are identical, they will be disqualified!" A scattering of cheers and boos came up. "Oh, and Men from Greece...if you don't like this new rule, You Can Always Quit..."

Meanwhile, in the ring, Alex Shelley had the mic.

Shelley: "Rejoice, AWAMLW fans. Tonight, I, The Next superstar in professional wrestling, Alex Shelley, will give you a real treat! As everyone saw last week, I was able to destroy Mando Guerrero so badly that he retired in there! Now, in my quest to kill as many legends as possible, I'd like to make an open challenge to any legend out there who thinks they can stand with the next star of professional wrestling!" Just then, no music hit as former WWE champion Bob Backlund headed to the ring to a mixed reaction!

Backlund: "You little punk- you need to learn some respect for your elders!"

Shelley: "Oh...you think you can beat me? You lose to Diesel in 8 seconds, and you think you can fight someone with two quads that work?"

Backlund: "The day I can't beat a jobber like you is the day I hang it up for good!" Backlund headed into the ring, and we had a match.

Bob Backlund v. Alex Shelley

Okay, this is the problem with time. If Backlund was in his prime, I'm certain this would have been an awesome matchup- Backlund's amateur skill probably would have meshed well with Alex Shelley's style. However, this is 2004, and Bob Backlund looked out of place, making the match look poorer for the whole of it. Bob Backlund tried weakening the arm, then went for a standing Crossface Chicken-Wing...until Alex Shelley reversed it and hit a nice Half-Nelson Suplex on Backlund! Shelley then made an arrogant-looking cover for the victory, ending Backlund's career. Well...it worked as a sendoff for Backlund...

(51, 63, 57)

After the match, Backlund took the mic...

Backlund: "Well, I stand corrected...the better man won. Just out of curiosity, sir- could I just shake your hand, so that I could leave with some respect after my final match?" Alex Shelley looked at Backlund, who put his hand out. Shelley did, only to pull it back and run his fingers through his hair.

Shelley: "Sorry, old man, but you need to learn: To you, The Next is the man who proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he's better than you, now and forever. To me...you're just some old-timer I needed to use to get experience- to take down the one legend I REALLY want to kill..."

Styles: "What could that mean?"

Tom Howard v. Mike Sullivan

Rule number 1 of booking, kids: If you have an open spot, get two guys who you know work well together and make them fight. This rule brings us another matchup between Tom Howard and Mike Sullivan, two fairly obscure guys who've managed to really impress me in AWAMLW. This time they pulled out all the stops yet again, putting on yet another name-making matchup. Once again, Tom Howard got a victory, this time courtesy of his Split-Legged Moonsault. Hopefully, something big will come of this: I know Howard has commitments in Japan, but a long-running feud between these two could be good...

(47, 90, 68)

(TAG TEAM) Who: Betta Than Kanyon v. The Downard Brothers

Okay...could someone explain something to me- I've never understood it. Why is it that when a commissioner wants to "punish" someone or some team- he proceeds to give them shots at the champion(s)? This proceeded to be another of those matches where the only apparent "punishment" to speak of came from AWAMLW doing the wrong thing and booking Brett Downard in a match. For my money, that Downard proved he's one of the worst wrestlers in recent memory- so bad he couldn't even help the fact that Who: Betta Than Kanyon still needed time to gel. Gelling is easier with two good workers. End result- a match that is just run-of-the-mill instead of the spectacular one AWAMLW could always use to help get Who: Betta Than Kanyon over. Normal stuff: Champs retain, Chris Kanyon gets the win. Nothing new here...

(51, 73, 62)

Chris Hero v. Jimmy Snuka Jr.

And the "Did someone cancel?" matches continue on the card, as for no apparent reason, Midwest indy star Chris Hero and Jimmy Snuka Jr. were thrown out there to wrestle. I say thrown out there, because the match was pretty sub-par, even without these things. The fact that no one in the crowd really cared about either man was enough, and Snuka Jr. didn't do anything to help them do so. Chris Hero managed to hold his own, and the match was only run-of-the-mill as a result. Chris Hero got the win, thankfully- Snuka has no real reason to be on a major scale in any federation, save for the occasional job like this.

(48, 75, 61)

After the match, I headed to the ring for my matchup. I heard the mixed reaction that's been going on here in AWA for most of it, as I prepared for my matchup. I saw Jeff Hardy run down the ramp in that quirky style of his that just screams out "I will suck your dick for some crack..." (though I'd NEVER say that to his face, mostly for fear that he'd be interested...) and prepared for the match.

Jeff: "Same basic flow as Sin's?"

"Sounds good to me, we'll just need a different ending..."

Jeff: "Gotcha..."

(EAST COAST)Harry Potsmoker v. Jeff Hardy

WHEN OVERRATED 'Next Shawn Michaels' COLLIDE~! On paper, this would be a great matchup: Jeff Hardy, considered by many someone who was on track to superstardom (and is young enough so he could still do it, to be fair), and Tom Goddard, considered by many the current "It Boy" in indy wrestling. However, communism also works on paper. In actuality, this matchup is fairly bland for it. Jeff Hardy's lost too much of a step to be really on his game, while Goddard seems to be going down the same road as Hardy has (come on, his in-ring name is Harry POTSMOKER- can he get any more obvious as a druggie?) The two kept a decent enough show on, going into that level between awesome and average fairly well. Jeff Hardy took an advantage, managing to get Potsmoker down. Just as Jeff Hardy went up for the Swanton Bomb, however, a man ran into the ring after Jeff Hardy! Hardy tried to confront the man...only for the man to grab a small piece of paper and put it under his tongue...

Knight: "What the hell is that guy doing?"

Styles: "It appears...yes...he is dropping acid in the ring!"

The man then proceeded to go into his pocket- where he pulled out a gun, and motioned for Jeff Hardy to lay down on the canvas!

Styles: "And now...now this guy is forcing Jeff Hardy down at gunpoint!"

Knight: "What in God's name is going on here? Someone call security!"

With Hardy down, Potsmoker covered him up, getting a three count!

(80, 77, 79)

After the match, Potsmoker and the guy celebrated, as Potsmoker took the mic...

Potsmoker: "I figured that since everyone here in the AWA is going after my belt, I needed someone I could trust to have my back. Due to this, I called some boys back in wOw, and I found the perfect person to do this...quite possibly the baddest man on the planet: 'MASS MURDER' MATT LAPLACA!"

LaPlaca: "FEED THE RAGE! FEED THE RAGE! FEED THE RAGE!"

Jerry Lynn v. Randy Savage

Okay, I'm still surprised that AWAMLW still brings in Savage for shows. Considering that Hulk Hogan's already claimed he wants a lower schedule, Savage seems to have no raison d'etre, save for sporadic "rap" "music" performances to "spike up" ratings. The match actually wasn't too horrible. Jerry Lynn was able to have a decent matchup with Savage, putting on a surprisingly average show with the legend. After that, it was pretty straightforward, as Lynn got the victory. Not too horrible, and the right person went over...

(80, 74, 78)

(WORLD) Christopher Daniels v. Dustin Rhodes

And that last match was so nice, they apparently booked it twice! Dustin Rhodes took the "fairly decent worker" role, while Daniels played the "indy god" in this version of it. Pretty similar show, with it also being just an average matchup. However, and here's the kicker...stop me if you've heard this before: Just as Daniels got the win...Jerry Lynn RAN IN on him! That's fairly original, right? We've only seen that- every fucking match since they started feuding...(are these bookers even TRYING?) Basically: Not too bad- pretty par for the course, really.

(82, 75, 79)

Overall: 68

After the show, I tried to leave early. However, Jeff came up to me...

Jeff: "Hey, Tom! Great match tonight...one question, though, what's with your bodyguard?"

"Oh, sorry about that: Blame Robbie- he was the one who asked him to work as my bodyguard, you know?" Suddenly, LaPlaca came over to us...

LaPlaca: "I LIKE PIE!"

Jeff: "Yeah, pie is pretty good...personally, though, I prefer any good type of sweets. Pie, cake, cookies, strudel..."

"Yeah- I heard about you liking the strudel..."

Jeff: "Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot...learn some originality, dude..."

"I hear you. So, what's been going on?"

Jeff: "Well, I told you I'd introduce you to my father...let me introduce you..." Suddenly, a giant flying orange cat came over to us. "This is my father, Imagi..." ("Dear 'Bob', that college in Vermont Reflecto was sent to got him so high he'll never come down..." NO COMMENTARY FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!)

Imagi: "Konban wa..."

Jeff: "Oh, sorry...maybe I should tell you- he only speaks Japanese..."

"Don't worry...I'll manage..." Just then, a guy came over to both of them and passed Tom Goddard something...

Guy: "Here, Tom- this Babel Fish will help you decipher it..."

"Thanks, Mr...?"

Guy: "Oh, just call me Reflecto..."

(meanwhile, outside of the story, IRL...)

"Um...dude...I think I wrote myself into wOw Memorial..."

Assistant: "Again? Flec- you really have to get some sleep, possibly write these things at more...godly times than 3 a.m..."

(meanwhile, back in the story...)

Imagi: "<<Have you been taking care of my son in the ring?>>"

"Of course- he's a good worker. No problems here."

Imagi: "<<And...and you're putting on nice matches?>>"

Jeff: "Well, the smarks don't seem to like them, but what are you going to do?"

Imagi: "<<Do you...like cats?>>"

"Sure...they're all right...I guess..."

Imagi: "<<Okay...>>" Suddenly, the cat started to change color...

Jeff: "Don't worry- he does this a few times...it shows he's thinking..."

Imagi: "<<Okay! I've decided- he is good. I will allow Jeff to be your bride without problem!>>"

"Um...what the hell?"

Jeff: "Sorry- he read too many Internet sites and those rumors they spread about me. Now he's convinced any friends of mine who crosses paths with him is my gay lover..."

"Well...that's just...nifty...tell him to read some previous posts in this diary; that'll nip this in the bud..."

Jeff: "Okay...I'll see you around!"

Reflecto: "Bye, Tom!"

Imagi: "<<Bye!>>" I headed off to the bus to Providence with one question...If Jeff Hardy's father was a giant orange cat...what was up with Matt Hardy in this case? He doesn't seem to have the same father...

<<Meanwhile, after a Raw house show...>>

"zzz...V-ONEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!....zzz..."

(Jeff: "Look, daddy, I've finished the plans!"

Imagi: "<<Very nice, Jeff- what are they?>>"

Jeff: "It's a robot...now I'm gonna have me a brother!"

Imagi: "<<Aww...that's cute. Do you really think you can build a real one?>>"

Jeff: "Yep! I found the parts and everything!"

Imagi: "<<Well, having a robot's a big responsibility...>> Suddenly, as dreams are wont to do, the scene changed...

Jeff: "I've almost got it! I think I can manage to make it work!" In a chair, a robot was nearly made. Jeff Hardy pulled a switch, as the robot woke up...

Robot: "Hello...my brother..."

Jeff: "It works! I did it!"

Robot: "Let's...get...XTREME..."

Jeff: "Hmmm...first, you'll need a name...how about...Matt?"

Robot: "Sounds awesome...V-ONEAHHHHHHH!"

Jeff: "I'll need to check that out...sounds like a bug..." ) Suddenly, Matt Hardy sprung awake.

Matt: "Whoa...what the hell?" Just then, Shane Goddard checked on the room...

Goddard: "Is everything all right, man?"

Matt: "No problems- just a really weird dream, I think..."

Matt Hardy tried to hit his forehead to try and jog his memory, then fell back asleep...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 14, 2004

From the diary of Matt Hardy...

I keep having that same dream for too long, and I always get confused by it. It's always the same: Jeff talks to our father, and tells him how he plans to build a robot. Suddenly, the robot keeps getting worked on, until it finally works, and I see myself. Does this mean anything? Why do I keep having this dream, instead of the "falling" dream or the "wrestle the main event of Wrestlemania, only to find that I'm completely naked" dream or the...well, I can't tell you the last one, lest Amy kills me to death, but suffice it to say it's more interesting than being a robot in dreams. It still went to be somewhat unsettling. We had a 2 p.m. house show in St.Paul, and I was almost DEAD for my match. Luckily, I was working with Shane Goddard- our skills usually tend to mesh well enough with each other so that the match came off fairly well (plus, if I wasn't, then you people would probably bloody forget what diary this is...) During the match, I still couldn't concentrate. I had to get this question going, and it had to go to one of the first people I could talk to somewhat privately...

Matt: "Hey, Shane...just out of curiosity...um...do you think that some people are really robots, and just are pretending to be people?"

Shane: "No way, man- the technology's not advanced enough yet. All we have are military-grade giant robots and personal computers shaped like cute girls- a whole different breed from robots, ya know?"

Matt: "But...but suppose that they don't know that they're robots, and always just assumed that they were human?"

Shane: "Come on...is something the problem?"

Matt: "Nothing...I just keep having these dreams..."

Shane: "I see. Well, you were supposed to win this one; pin me and get to the hospital; they'll understand it better..." I proceeded to hit Shane with the Side Effect and get the pinfall...

Shane: "Ow, dude- that was way too stiff!"

Matt: "Sorry, I wasn't thinking..." After the match, I tried to get my head together. I headed for the nearest hospital- maybe a quick psychiatric evaluation will help me...

Hospital Psychiatrist: "Ah...what seems to be the problem?"

Matt: "I keep having these weird dreams, and I don't know what's true and what isn't anymore..."

Psychatrist: "What is the dream, sir?"

Matt: "Well, I keep dreaming that my brother's telling my father how he plans to build a robot. I see my brother building the robot. Then, when it's finished, I look back and see my own face. Now I'm worried- if this dream keeps recurring like it does...could this be the truth? Am I really a robot?"

Psychiatrist: "Ah...you see, this dream needs interpretation. You see, you claim that you're a robot because there's something going on that's pigeon-holing you into something. You are worried that you cannot be true to your own feelings. Now, I notice you claimed your mother didn't appear in the dream..."

Matt: "Um, my mother died..."

Psychiatrist: "From this, it's obvious: You dream this dream because you really want to have sex with your mother!"

Matt: "Now that's just sick!"

Psychiatrist: "Don't worry. I mean, this is a normal feeling. I mean, remember when you felt sick as a kid, and your mother would rub Vicks Vapo-Rub on your chest? Her just looking at your eyes with all that concern, unbuttoning your shirt, rubbing it all over you...touching your chest...who wouldn't want to slam that bitch into next week?"

Matt: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON, Mister?"

Psychiatrist: "Okay...this is anger management. I'm going to have them discharge you...work on this, ja?"

Matt: "I don't have anger management- I just don't want to have sex with my mother."

Psychiatrist: "You work on that too, ja? Next time you're in this area, I hope to hear that you've dug her corpse up and hit it like it was a government mule, ja?"

Matt: "I'm going to leave now..." I left the room, just as confused...

Shane: "Well- you cured?"

Matt: "I'm confused on this, and that psychiatrist's a fucking pervert!"

Shane: "Well, you need to get your mind off of it. Come on- I'm meeting my brother at a bar in Minneapolis- we're all watching the TNA Pay-Per-View there. You should come along..."

Matt: "I guess so..." I headed off with him. I met up with Shane's brother Tom, apparently a big name on the indy scene in his own right. It was fairly cool- Jeff's said he's a fairly cool guy, so I trusted it'd be okay. The Pay-Per-View came on, and I hoped that it would allow me to forget these things...

NWA: Total Nonstop Action

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.

John Walters v. Ashley Hudson

Tenay: "This is going to be a good match, Don- Team Australia's Super-X Tournament representative Ashley Hudson will go up against the undefeated John Walters!"

Well, Tenay said the dreaded "U" word in John Walters's defense- it's official, they're giving him the "undefeated generic guy" push. The crowd wasn't buying it yet, as they were DEAD throughout this matchup. Maybe it's not getting behind Walters, but I'd bet it was more likely because Hudson sucks balls. To be fair, though, John Walters was able to carry Ashley Hudson to a good match. However, because Australian guys are dumber than good AMERICANS~!, Goldylocks was able to distract Hudson, allowing John Walters to roll him up for the victory. Not too bad, considering all it was is just another notch in Walters's winning streak (now at...3! Well, it's not impressive YET...)

(14, 75, 44)

(X-Title) Chris Sabin v. Altar Boy Luke

This was actually an awesome matchup, pretty good to help get the crowd back following that debacle of an opener. Sabin and Altar Boy Luke managed to put on a decent X-Division matchup, which worked well for it. However, the match was pretty much the same as most other X-Title matches I've seen: Altar Boy Luke puts on a lot of insane moves, Chris Sabin counters with more insane moves, Sabin hits the Future Shock, HAIL SABIN~!, Sabin retains. This was no exception, and that's a good thing: Altar Boy Luke is WAY too new to merit an X-Title push.

(45,88, 66)

After the break, Julio Dinero and CM Punk were walking down the hallway carrying their NWA Tag Team Titles.

Punk: "Yeah, this is the life! Living clean, living large: We run this federation now! Tag Champs, representing Straight Edge the only way it can be- we are the bomb!"

Dinero: "Yeah, man- now, for a pre-show hookup..." Just then, Julio Dinero spotted Lollipop coming down the hallway... "...and I think I've found our lucky contestant..." Dinero then sidled up to her and started talking...

Dinero: "Hi, Lollipop- HUGE fan of your work out there...I know you know my name- after all, no one in NWATNA is more money than me, Julio Dinero: One half of the NWATNA World Tag Team Champions- yeah, you KNOW you want me..."

Lollipop: "Yeah, great...I've got to go..."

Dinero: "Hey, don't rush- you have a chance to be with a star! Any one of those women out there would LOVE this chance!" Julio Dinero then proceeded to keep forcing himself towards Lollipop, until BG James and Ron Killings came down the hall. Killings headed towards CM Punk and started brawling with him, while James headed over to Dinero and yelled out "SLAP!", bitchslapping the champion!

Dinero: "Hey, punk! I don't care WHO you are- me and the lady were having a talk! You do NOT do that to me! Go on- tell him what's what!"

Lollipop: "Sorry...'Penny-Ante': I'M BG JAMES' BITCH!" The two walked off together as Dinero looked pissed.

(Re-Release Notes: My assistant felt the recent death of funk legend Rick James might cause some problems with BG James's current gimmick in wOw Memorial (it should be pretty obvious by now where this gimmick is coming from, and it might border on insulting your intelligence to claim it.) My stance on this:

1) wOw Memorial is a fairly different enough world from ours so that a few of these things can be put on...

2) I try to never let reality get in the way of my writing...

3) I HAVE NO SHAME WHEN IT COMES TO MY WRITING. Nothing personal, but come on: I literally work a half-mile from the site where The Station stood before its tragic fire, and a few days after it occurred, I wrote a poem about it...called "The Day the Mullets Died" (check it on FictionPress.Net- here I'm "Reflecto", there I'm "Alan Smithee", either place I got more talent than Shake-speare got prithees...) Do you REALLY think I would drop gimmicks for stuff like this?

Until next time, this is the Re-Release Notes, reminding you: Reflecto is EVIL...

"INDEED...")

(71)

Super-X Qualifier: Team Canada (Teddy Hart, Kevin Steen, Petey Williams, Jack Evans)

Somehow, for a team that's pushed as the America's X-Cup champs, this match didn't have the crowd reaction I'd respect. Of course, I'd expect that from a team that involves such great Canadian luminaries as Kevin Steen and Petey Williams (who I'm not even sure deserves a spot on this team), this could be obvious. This match was actually a pretty fast-paced one, as Teddy Hart just annihilated his teammated. Steen was the first to go, followed by Williams. Jack Evans actually got to put on a good fight with his tag team partner, but Teddy Hart got the big victory to go on to the Super-X Tournament. Afterwards, the team celebrated, as most of the teams have following their match.

(27, 73, 50)

Super-X Qualifier: Team America2 (Steve Evans, Danny Hillstead, Jay Matthews, Jayce Simmons)

And yet another of the "we already know who's winning" files. This time, it went with Team America2, with unheralded stars Danny Hillstead and Jay Matthews, AWAMLW wrestler Jayce Simmons, and X-Division star Steve Evans. Three guesses who's going over...Danny Hillstead actually got pinned by Jayce Simmons first, followed by Simmons getting pinned by Matthews. Evans and Matthews then put on a nice matchup again, peaking with Steve Evans hitting a Slight Remix (Top-Rope X-Factor [Hype Factor]) to get the win. Not a bad matchup, or at least better than Team Canada's. When the challengers out-do the champs, that's a sign a change needs to be made.

(39, 76, 57)

(Tag Team) CM Punk and Julio Dinero v. 3 Live Kru (w/Konnan, Lollipop)

Tenay started calling the Punk/Dinero team "Straight Money", so I assume that's the name they're going to go with now [not a bad thing; if they're against Raven, continuing to call themselves The Gathering's counterproductive...] This match wasn't a bad match, per se. I've seen much better tag team matches, however, and this didn't compare to the great ones that have went on lately. To add to that, all the over-booking didn't work: First Lollipop tried to distract Dinero (only leading to a Title shot by CM Punk), then Konnan tried to help out (leading to a No Brainer by Dinero). Just as the champs were ready to hit the Near Death Experience on Ron Killings, Raven ran in and clocked CM Punk! Killings pinned him, giving the NWA new Tag Team Champions!

(69, 80, 74)

Abyss v. Dusty Rhodes

And now, for another timeless rule of booking: When in doubt, take a really well-known guy who's on his last legs and job him out to everyone younger. It's a fair move, and works well for younger federations. This time, Abyss was the lucky person to get the rub, while Dusty Rhodes was the unlucky name to put Abyss over. The two put on a pretty poor match (no surprise at Dusty's age), but the crowd did seem into it surprisingly. Abyss hit the Deep Sea Drop fairly easily, getting him the win Now, if only they'll build on this...

(62, 61, 61)

Jerry Lynn v. Jushin Liger

Okay, rule 2 of booking: When in doubt, get two really talented guys and make them fight! This was the example used here, as Team TNA's Jerry Lynn and Team Japan's Jushin Liger went to the ring to do their thing. As everyone knows, that thing is awesome, and I was loving every minute of it. However, the crowds didn't seem to like it as much as I did- IMO, it's a MOTY candidate easily. The two put on an awesome show. The one thing I was surprised about was Jerry Lynn getting the win clean- Lynn and Liger are both old enough so that there's no difference by who's more worthy of the win, and Liger's newer and could have used it. Well, with a match like this, that move's water under the bridge...

(58, 99, 78)

(WORLD) Jeff Jarrett v. Chris Harris

Well, I can't really say much bad about "Triple J" this time... I know that in most cases, Jarrett buries more deserving champs. However, to be fair, Jarrett did his best to make Chris Harris look good in this match tonight. This is a better thing than you'd think: NWATNA needs more name players to make themselves a top-tier federation, and anyone who can help will. Making someone, even Chris Harris, look good against the champ is an easy way to help build new names, and other workers in the main event scene. To add to that, the match was good- the two put on a nice show inside the ring to also help on this. Jarrett won the match, of course, but to be fair, he did CHEAT TO WIN~! This is a good thing; it makes Harris look better that Jarrett couldn't beat him clean.

(74, 82, 78)

Overall: 68

Edited August 14, 2004 by Reflecto

stokeriño · August 14, 2004

Okay, so there's still a load of this I havent read, but I just came in to glance at the most recent repost and...THE CAT FROM AZUMANGA DAIOH IS JEFF HARDY'S FATHER!!

***MARKS~!!!***

Edited August 14, 2004 by stokeriño

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 15, 2004

Monday, September 13: Altogether, not a very nice day for wrestling...

I'm still a little in shock from what happened. It was supposed to be a normal situation tonight. Actually, from the phone call I received that day, it was supposed to be even better, personally...at least, better than what occurred...

"Hottest wrestler in the country right now- who's calling?"

Voice: "The REAL biggest name in New England wrestling- what's up, bro?"

"Shane! What's going on, man?"

Shane: "Dude- my life has reached its pinnacle."

"They're giving you a strap? Will I finally be able to say my older brother's a WWE champion?"

Shane: "Even better. I just got the word from Vince- he's going to give me a shot at booking on tonight's Raw."

"I see..."

Shane: "Come on- you should know, I loved booking in wOw when I got the shot. Hell, part of me loved booking in wOw almost as much, if not more, than wrestling. When I signed with WWE, one of my dreams was to eventually be put on the booking staff- to get a shot to do some of my ideas I did in wOw on a large scale. I submitted a few ideas to Vince, and he liked them enough so he's going to give me tonight's Raw to see if the stuff flies enough. If it works, I could be added to the creative team!"

"I see...you're aware if you join, any big matches you got would be shit on, right?"

Shane: "I wouldn't care- in my view, I'd rather be one of the directors of the whole show than be even the star. That's always been one of my views for it..."

"Well, pull a quad man- hopefully, you'll get through to this. Just make sure that if you're added to creative, you find stuff for all of the wOw guys and gals..."

Shane: "I'll try, man..." I hung up the phone, a little surprised. I knew Shane was a superb booker; he helped get a buzz for wOw since he took the reigns in late 2000. I tried to get my own skill on, and decided to watch the last wOw show on tape...

wOw Sin

Your hosts are RD Reynolds and Tony Schiavone.

The Diamond Exchange v. The So-Cal Connection

The So-Cal Connection are Trey Thomas and Dino Callas, two guys who apparently left their charisma in San Diego. The match, however, was actually fairly good. The two teams managed to play off of each other fairly well, and the teams meshed together both versus each other and just by teammates. However, good proved to be dumb once again, as Veronica Diamond made some overtures towards Trey Thomas, allowing Dean Powers to hit a running Powerslam on Dino Callas for the victory! After the match, the Diamond Exchange celebrated as the three left the ring, leaving The So-Cal Connection laying in the ring!

(31, 85, 58)

After the match, Danny Doring was WALKING~!, when Detective Chris Hamrick and Sherlock Homeless were sitting around waiting for a match. Doring turned and began to attack Hamrick, finally hitting a Wham Bam on Hamrick. However, by that time, a guy in a police uniform altered to Talmud traditions (who some wOw fans are saying is former CZW wrestler GQ) came through as Sherlock Homeless headed to him.

Homeless: "This is the guy, NYPD Jew..." Just then, he headed over...

NYPD Jew: "I'm...I'm sorry- I never like to do this, but I gotta do something- it's like, I can't have someone attacking an officer of the law, it'd be really, really bad for our image, you see- I'm sorry, but you gotta be arrested...you're coming with me..." NYPD Jew then arrested Doring as the show went to break!

(46)

After the break, 57U waited for his matchup with Brutus Beefcake. Suddenly, Beefcake's music hit as Run-In Man went in!

57U v. Run-In Man

Okay...this was just a train wreck, and I doubt it was 57U's fault. Run-In Man, Beefcake, he's just a bad worker either way. 57U tried desperately to get through it, but the lackings of Beefcake were to large to go through this. 57U left the ring and got T3H K36, only to bring it in the ring. Beefcake proceeded to drink until he passed out, allowing 57U to win! After the match, 57U grabbed a cup and took some beer from T3H K36 as Sin went to break!

(32, 46, 39)

After the break, Adam Windsor headed into the ring and took a mic...

Windsor: "Okay, maybe all these wOw people will get their way due to the HOMEGROWN bookers here, but I'll win yet! I challenge any non-homegrown wrestler to a match!" Just then, Jimmy Jacobs came to the ring with Becky Bayless, yelling "HUSS!" a few times before entering the ring.

Adam Windsor v. Jimmy Jacobs

Jacobs started off the match with a couple more "HUSS!" es, mostly billed towards Bayless for some reason (only to have Bayless just smile and wave.) Eventually, the match started, and surprisingly, it was actually really good. The two managed to put on a match that was actually a MOTN- candidate: One of the first I've seen by non-wOw wrestlers. After a few minutes without a "HUSS!" by Jacobs, Becky Bayless ran into the ring and glomped both competitors for some reason, putting Jimmy Jacobs on top and giving him the win! After the match, Bayless tried to glomp Jacobs, only to be met with a "HUSS!" as Jacobs went to the back. Somewhat weird, but an awesome match nonetheless...

(37, 88, 62)

Jared Steele v. Vic Grimes

Okay. Why the hell is Vic Grimes still employed by wOw? Shouldn't he be bleeding and jumping off balconies for a garbage fed again? Jared Steele became the next contestant in the wOw game show, "Carry Vic Grimes!", this time only carrying Grimes to a run-of-the-mill match. It still was enough to prove why wOw wrestlers are held in high regard: If they can do these things for it, that's a sign they deserve their respect. Jared Steele hit a quick Done Deal, getting the victory. After the match, Steele celebrated- until Hawk from Tough Enough 2 ran out of the stands for some reason. I'm surprised: I didn't even think Hawk was under contract with wOw, but nonetheless he's here and he's attacking Steele. Well, THAT'LL put some butts in the seats...

(36, 74, 55)

Meanwhile, after the match, Jared Steele was pissed...

Steele: "What's the big idea? Why'd you let this guy into the show?"

Robbie: "Hey- he was a paying customer, I had to allow him in."

Steele: "Well, yes...except for the fact: HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!" Just then, Ms. Hardy showed up...

Hardy: "Come on- they know where you are. Vance's waiting in the car; let's go!" Steele left quickly as the show continued on without the people knowing...

Meanwhile, in the ring, Cancer Boy was waiting for his opponent. Just then, "Suicide Samurai" hit as Finale came to the ring and took a mic...

Finale: "For too long, I have been forced to swallow my pain and feel the anguish of knowing that when I was so close to giving the proper credit to evil and stealing the wOw Heavyweight Title, I was forced away from my goal. NO LONGER will this occur! No longer will I wait, watching the little lovefest that whacked Out wrestling has become. No longer will I wait in the shadows as the titles are held by unworthy ones. The Men From Greece? Detective Chris Hamrick? That little...Golden Boy that whacked Out wrestling is claiming's worth watching? All of them will fall to the might of evil. Cancer Boy...you may have fought a monster inside of you, but you will NEVER be able to destroy the monster that lies here before you. Tonight...whacked Out wrestling will begin spinning on MY Axis...and EVERYONE...will meet their Finale."

(81)

Cancer Boy v. Finale

Not much to say here, actually. Well, there's the fact that Finale managed to pull Zach Gowen to a surprisingly decent matchup, but other than that...The match was actually a pretty big squash for the most part. Cancer Boy tried all he could to fight it, but Finale was just too strong for him. Finale then proceeded to lock Cancer Boy in the Ordinary Vanity, keeping Cancer Boy from being able to tap out! Cancer Boy eventually passed out from the pain, allowing Finale to get a decisive victory!

(56, 70, 63)

The Stampede Bulldogs v. The Bishie Boys

Quick query for fans: Which of these teams is the more overrated one? On the one hand, you've got The Stampede Bulldogs- a team that has a good reputation but very little else, and haven't been good when I've seen them wrestle. On the other, the Bishie Boys- a team that's somewhat decent in the ring, but is far from the claims that wOw fanboys have been making (sorry, wOw, but there's a reason Steve Evans is just another X-Division guy in NWATNA, and despite what wOw claims, Tom Goddard is not the best thing since shaved vagina...) The two teams didn't manage to mesh that well, to add to the fun. However, the Bishies used MAGICAL wOw CROWN JEWEL POWER~! to take the advantage. Just as they set Harry Smith up for a Shonen Knife, Nattie Neidhart ran into the ring and attacked Goddard, allowing Smith to pin him for the win! After the match, the three continued to attack, until Jocelyn Richter ran in and helped the three attack.

In case you're not paying attention to this one, we apparently have:

The Stampede Bulldogs and Nattie Neidhart- basically:

An evil, overrated wrestler who's got a good following mostly due to his family lineage [Harry Smith],

An evil, overrated wrestler who's gets a lot of work mostly due to the fact that he's close friends with a lot of people who run his base federation [TJ Wilson],

& A evil, somewhat decent (for a female) worker who gets respect mostly due to the fact that she's the daughter of a legend in her base area [Nattie Neidhart] .

Their opponents:

The Bishie Boys and Jocelyn Richter- Basically:

A "good" overrated wrestler who gets a good following due to HIS family lineage [Tom Goddard],

a "good" overrated wrestler who gets a lot of work due to the fact that he's close friends with a lot of people who run HIS base federation [steve Evans],

& A "good" somewhat decent (for a female) worker who gets respect mostly due to the fact that she's the daughter of a legend in her base area [Jocelyn Richter].

Well, this looks similar to the elections coming up...

(64, 76, 70)

After the match...Goddard took the mic...

"Oh, big whoop...we're supposed to be more scared of you AWA punks because you've got a girl in your corner..."

Evans: "Who?"

"No, I think that's her father, Steve..." (Unwritten rule of wOw (and by nature, wOwfed/wOw Memorial)- any time you can make a Who joke, you are bound by the laws of Wrestlecrap to...)

Evans: "Oh, yeah..."

"Still- NO ONE CARES about that stuff. Any time you want a title shot, just ask and I'll be there to show you that NO ONE disrespects wOw!"

Overall: 60

After that match, I was pumped as AWAMLW Underground was to start. I made it a point to tape RAW so I wouldn't miss my bro's big shot, and headed to the wOw peeps's locker room...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 15, 2004

AWA Underground

Your hosts are Joey Styles and Jason Knight.

(NATIONAL WOMEN'S) Sharon Goddard v. Midajah

And the revolving door of challengers for the National Women's Title continues, this time adding Midajah to the mix to fight for it. Of course, this isn't a big thing, as Midajah is just another person now (even if she worked for WCW.) Goddard just beat the hell out of Midajah, only to have Midajah use...well, not much of anything- it's not like she gets jobs because of TALENT... Goddard got the win, as expectable, as Jamie Kogyaru ran in and attacked Goddard (also expectable.) Nothing to see here- it's not that great a match.

(54, 48, 52)

After the match, the Teen Dreams headed to the ring and waited for their opponents. Just then, the AWATron hit: "Like basketball players...and Greeks...YOU KNOW, MEN FROM GREECE?" "Grease" hit as the Men From Greece came to the ring, this time with Nico wearing a fez as Stavros had none on his head!

Teen Dreams v. The Men From Greece

This match was another of those tag team matches that AWAMLW's being famous for: Awesome teams that mesh well together putting on a good show. The two teams managed to mesh well together, and the match succeeded as a result. Suddenly, Jayce Simmons grabbed a chain and wrapped it around his fist. Evan Karagias tried to distract the referee, allowing Simmons to hit Nico with the chain, sending his fez off. Stavros then pulled out a fez and put it on, then ran in and hit Simmons with a Big Fat Greek Suplex, getting the win! After the match, the Men From Greece celebrated as they went back to the ring!

(41, 85, 63)

After that break, Terry Funk was in back with a microphone...

"Listen here, everybody- I'm out here tonight because I've got a real problem. A couple weeks back, one of those wOw punks, Finale, came out and challenged me to a match. Sadly, he beat me, as fair as you can get in a hardcore match. However, that lily-livered punk hasn't had the decency to give me a rematch yet! I feel that I deserve a chance to redeem myself and destroy that little punk, to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that AWAMLW wrestlers are the most hardcore wrestlers on the planet! So if you're watching this, Finale, I hope you know that I'm on the hunt for you!"

(74) (Re-Release Notes: See- I DO do some stuff for my readers...in this case, a fan was concerned about the booking problems with Finale, and I could buy the problem- I hadn't been happy with how Finale was booked here myself. Part of that had to be my own worry that Dome readers wouldn't be able to have the out-of-ring stuff [where Finale had been written as one of the boys] with the in-ring stuff [where Finale is meant to be, as he is in wOwfed, more evil than bin Laden, Hitler, Bush, and Kaientai combined...]. This call helped me give it the attempt, and I feel at least that Finale's improving a bit for it.)

Harry Potsmoker and Finale v. The Shamrock Brothers

How do I describe this match except...OVERBOOKED AS HELL! To begin with, Potsmoker and Finale came out to the ring, only to have Court H. Bauer stop them...

Bauer: "Oh, by the way, Potsmoker, I've added a little clause to the East Coast's Title defenses...it's up for grabs in Tag Team matches..."

Potsmoker: "Fine by me- we weren't planning on losing anyway."

Bauer: "Okay...well...um, oh yeah! Since you and your little Death Eaters were connected- if Finale doesn't accept Terry Funk's challenge, I will see it as a forfeit, and your title will go to Funk!"

Finale: "No problem- his challenge is nothing to me. He may have another match- and then, he will once again meet his Finale..."

Bauer: "Just get the Shamrocks out here..." The Shamrocks then came out and all four just started attacking: The Shamrocks using their stiffness, as Potsmoker and Finale tried to fight their way out of it. However, after a few minutes of catch-as-catch-can in the ring, Terry Funk ran out and attacked Finale as we became OVERBOOKED~! Funk's attacks caused an easy DQ, as Funk and the Shamrocks proceeded to attack. Suddenly, Alex Shelley ran down to the ring...and attacked Terry Funk as a scattering of boos hit. Shelley then took the mic...

Shelley: "Finally- I can make my way towards killing the one legend I've had my eye on...THE AWA..." Potsmoker and Finale raised Shelley's hand as the crowd booed!

(81, 82, 81)

(AWA World) Christopher Daniels v. Bryan Danielson

This is one of those matches that, in a perfect world, would have just been allowed to go. Having Daniels and Danielson, two of the best in indy wrestling today, just Shut Up and Wrestle would have been awesome. To be fair, the match was awesome despite this. However, I didn't feel it, mostly because in a Christopher Daniels match right now, it's become "wait until Jerry Lynn runs in." To be fair again, Daniels got the win clean following a Last Rites after a lot of nice moves. However, once the match ends, Lynn ran in and attacked Daniels. The two fought like hell- until Court H. Bauer ran into the ring and took a mic...

Bauer: "You know: I've had enough of you two fighting like this, so I'm putting an end to it! Saturday night, you two will settle things once and for all, in a match that NEITHER of you will know about until the moment it occurs! The winner gets the AWA World Title, the loser does NOT get a title shot as long as the other one's champion!" Underground ended as Lynn and Daniels stared each other down.

(78, 99, 88)

Meanwhile, after the match, I was excited. I sat down to watch my tape of Raw, when I got a call...

Voice: "Tom...it's Shane...listen...oh, god...you might not want to watch Raw tonight..."

"And miss your booking debut? Fat chance..."

Shane: "Um...uh...they cancelled it. Yeah- don't need to watch it..."

"Still- It's something to watch, anyway..."

Shane: "I just don't feel like you should- I mean...it's terrible...I still can't believe it..." By the time he said it, I had already started the tape up. I saw Raw start up with Matt Hardy in the ring, as he took the mic...

Hardy: "Now, I know there's a lot of you people that still don't believe in the power of Mattitude here on Raw. That's why, me and the rest of the MF'ers have come up with the best way to show it- an open challenge! I challenge anyone in the audience to come into the ring and see what it's like to fight with V-ONEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Only then will some lucky person get to see what Mattitude is all about!"

Well, now I know Shane was lying out his teeth: Having a wrestler keep giving open calls for jobber matches to give someone a win streak, only to end with some debuting wrestler destroying them at the end has been something Shane always loved to do in wOw order to introduce some new signing. I saw some "fan" (read: PLANT!) come out and watched the match...

Matt Hardy v. Fan

My sources are telling me that the fan's actually indy wrestler Mitch Page, and if this is his tryout- go back to the indies. He was not able to run with Matt Hardy at all, and I wasn't sure if he even had anything that could work for this. He didn't show many moves, either- instead just selling for Hardy. Hardy looked like he wasn't his usual self that night, blowing a couple of moves and raising some visible welts on the "fan". Hardy also proceeded to work the neck, and it looked like it HURT this time- surprising, as I'd never known Matt Hardy to be too stiff in the ring. Just then, the fan backed Matt Hardy up into the turnbuckle, only to have Matt Hardy hit a stiff-looking Side Effect from the second rope on the fan! Hardy got the three...only the fan stopped moving!Matt Hardy started to apparently break character as medics and road agents went into the ring...

JR: "This...this doesn't look good. Something apparently went wrong in there. This is not a work, folks..."

I turned off the tape...

Shane: "I take it from the silent pause you saw the match..."

"Yep...was that guy all right?"

Shane: "According to reports, his neck was broken pretty bad. They aren't sure if he'll be paralyzed, but they're almost certain he'll never be able to wrestle again...I...I can't believe it..."

"Dude- it's not your fault."

Shane: "Of course it is! I knew Matt's been out of it the last couple days, and that he was getting a little stiffer because of it, and I didn't tell them that. I was the one who booked that match and angle, man! Whatever happens when you're doing something like this is partly my fault: I didn't have to have those two wrestle!"

"I see...That's terrible, man. I hope they're all right."

Shane: "I know. Matt's really broken up: He's already requested to be sent for a psychiatric evaluation. Vince sent him, of course- I hear he's already found a backstage job for the jobber. Great man, Vince...not that it'll do me any good- I'm almost certain this has cost me my big chance!"

"It wasn't your fault."

Shane: "Have you ever heard of the halo effect? Vince had to make a clip show on the fly- no one wanted to work after that opened the show. That's going to make my booking look bad. Maybe I wasn't in the ring, but it's my dream of being added to the creative team that's going to be derailed, Tom!"

"I see. This sounds bad- I've got a little downtime. See if you can come back home for a bit, hopefully then you'll be able to get your mind off of it..."

Shane: "I hope so...this...I just don't want to believe it happened...I can't believe it..."I heard Shane sobbing over the phone: One of the first real times I had heard or seen my brother cry...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 15, 2004

The next few days were mostly a time of R's and D's: Rest, Relax, general Downtime, and Defending my choice of career to Mom and Dad after they heard how Shane's booking had ended a guy's career. [i guess Shane called them first- if Sharon had, I'm sure they would have been less naggy about it.] I still couldn't fathom what was going on for Matt or Shane after this. Shane hadn't called me since that Monday- I was beginning to get worried something was going to happen. On Thursday, I decided to make the most of the time before having to wrestle again, and decided to head onto the Internet...

www.WrestlingShockers.com: AWAMLW Superstar jumps ship!

-In what's been seen as a surprising victory for NWA: Total Nonstop Action, it was announced today that Sonjay Dutt has abruptly jumped to NWATNA. This is a shocking move, as Dutt had originally done the opposite thing earlier this year and abruptly jumped to rival AWA: Major League Wrestling.

-Rumors are circulating about the jump's details, and whether this constitutes a breach of contract. However, WrestlingShockers.com has reportedly received a report from an insider who claims to have worked in AWAMLW's offices who refused to be named...

"Myew! I knew when I was cleaning files and doing that boring icky stuff that my photographic memory would serve me well, nyo! It seems that that Sonjay Dutt guy's contract had a cute loophole in it where he was only bound exclusively to AWAMLW as long as he held an AWA title, meaning that technically, when he lost the belt to Chance Beckett, he was like a free agent or something, nyo! From what I've seen- that's a standard clause that the AWA puts in their contracts, though thankfully federations like wOw wouldn't do that, nyo...um...not that I would know what that wOw federation would do with their workers' contracts...myew?" (Gee...who do you think that is?

-It is unknown when Dutt will make his redebut with NWATNA, but many think it'll be before the end of the month, possibly with Dutt becoming the mysterious 'glam rocker' that's been hinted at over the last few weeks...

Reflecto Is My Favorite Poster · August 16, 2004

When I headed to the Flagship tapings the next night, I was unable to think of the stuff that had happened- that was pretty obvious, as soon as Jamie ran over and hugged me...

Jamie: "They've done it- they've finally done it! I've been waiting for this to happen since I agreed to wrestle here, and now it's happening!"

"What's happening? Roster split? WWE felt so threatened they're making us their developmental federation? What?"

Jamie: "It's a go- Robbie made a deal with a few feds that deal in josei- the Women's Division's going to get a huge upgrade!"

"Awesome!" I was pleased when I heard the news- as far back as I could remember- wOw's Women's division was a credit to American female wrestling as a whole. It was nice to see that they'd give the props to us again.

Jamie: "I know- I've always wanted to be part of a really good women's division in America- to get to fight the best, and now, I can do just that!"

"Come on- you've been building our homegrown division up- I'd say you're the best female worker I've seen since my sister was in her prime..."

Jamie: "You're too kind...I've got to check the list, then my match is on first!" List? I was surprised as I headed through and peeked out at Jamie's matchup. Maybe this will give me some answers...

(National Women's Championship)Sharon Goddard v. Jamie Kogyaru

You know, I can't seem to fathom how these matches work, but they always manage to. I mean, theoretically, placing Sharon Goddard, one of America's top female brawlers, and Jamie Kogyaru, arguably the best female technical wrestler in the game today, in the same ring should theoretically be a wash. However, the two usually tend to put on a match that could put many men to shame. This was no exception, as the two kept fine-tuning the spots that have got them the rightful following they deserve here. Jamie Kogyaru took an advantage to a lot of fans' delight, and managed to go for a HOONANCONRANA~! (sorry, too much Joey Styles at a young smark age)...only to have Sharon Goddard CHEAT TO WIN~!, this time the result of a nicely placed chain shot. Goddard reversed it into a stiff-looking powerbomb, keeping her title! Luckily, however, Kogyaru started attacking,as the brawl continued on to the back- matches like this deserve more time to go through...

(46, 75, 54)

After that, The Zodiac was in the ring as Geoffrey Richter was by his side...

Richter: "Hello, wOw fans! I am here with apparently...the Zodiac, is it?"