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I'm sitting here in my office, newly appointed head booker of the World Wrestling Federation. Just yesterday, I was a happily married man, enjoying life as a touring musician. Now I find myself as a fat, bald, and apparently single man running a wrestling company. How did I end up here? I actually know very little.

I remember a party. The details are fuzzy, but I vaguely remember being offered a cigarette from Scott Weiland. Next thing I know, I'm on some sort of escalator, surrounded by clouds and naked children playing harps. Of course I'm thinking I'm somewhere near the Neverland Ranch, but turns out I died or something. I remember seeing a man with white hair, a long white beard, and sandals. I think it was God, but it might have been Jerry Garcia. Either way, I was told something about going back to 1990 and preventing Ultimate Warrior from going crazy. Apparently him winning the WWF title caused something in his head to snap, culmintating in him committing suicide in jail after being arrested for public sex with a mailbox in the fall of 2007. Or that might have been someone else. I dunno, as dying and being reborn as a 40 year old 14 years in the past has a way of fucking with your head.

So, here I am, looking over at a sheet of paper that magically appeared in my paper when I "woke up".


The WWF is coming off a disasterous year in 1989 of people increasingly

getting tired of Hulkamania. Mr. Perfect is seemingly being groomed

for a world title push in the beginning of 1990, as the duo of Mr. Perfect

and The Genius are one of the most over wrestlers in the federation.

Will you have Mr.Perfect win the Royal Rumble, beat Hulk Hogan and

prevent Hogan's future powerplay of veto'ing the decision?

Hmm...so much to do. A quick glance at my title holders reveals the following:

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan

WWF IC Champion: Ultimate Warrior

Tag Team: Colossal Connection

Million Dollar Champion: Ted DiBiase

That won't do. That won't do at all. I think I'll ring my secretary (Sophia or something like that)...time to make some roster moves...

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Monday News Update

by Dave Meltzer

We're looking for reports on today's Prime Time Wrestling show in Cohasset, MA as well as Saturday night in Cape Cod. Last night's show was headlined by Hogan vs. Bad News Brown . Dusty Rhodes and the Honky Tonk Man were off last night. Not sure of their status for today and tomorrow other than Dusty is off.

Each weekly issue of the Observer ranges from 25,000 to 35,000 words covering pro wrestling all over the world. The Observer is now in its 8th year of being the leading insider pro wrestling publication in the world. The biggest and most influential names in the industry, both on camera, behind the scenes, along with thousands of fans in all 50 states and 15 countries subscribe to the Observer. They get the most detailed and inside coverage of what is going on all over the world. Everyone from Wall Street to the major offices to the TV networks in U.S. and Japan turn to the Observer for what is going on in the business.

If you are a new subscriber ordering 24 or more issues, you can also get a free classic issue of the Observer sent to you today. With a 40 issue order, you can get two free classic issues sent to you today. Just send your Visa or Master Card order with your name, address, phone number, Visa or Master Card number and an expiration dateby faxing that information to 555-244-3402. You can also subscribe via check, cash or money order, as well as credit card, by mail, by sending to Wrestling Observer Newsletter, P.O. Box 1228, Campbell, CA 95009-1228.

--Several WWF stars have been given the ax by new booker Billy Castillo. Among those gettin cut are : Al Perez, Butch Stanley, Kevin Kruger, and Hillbilly Jim.

---Barry Windham has signed a contract with WWF with Harley Race as his manager. Rumor has it he will be known as "The Widowmaker".

----Jake Roberts appears on the Phil Donahue Show this Friday. Check your local listings.

---Tonight's Prime Time Wrestling Preview:

In action will be:


*Ted DiBiase

*Ronnie Garvin


*Main Event : Ultimate Warrior vs Bad News Brown for the IC Title!

*Plus Hulk Hogan!

Copyright © 1990 Live Audio Wrestling Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Edited by Billy Castillo
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Gorilla: Welcome fans to the sold out Houston Summit where we have a jampacked card for you tonight! With me is Bobby "The Weasel" Heenan! Our fi-

Brain: Weasel?!

Gorilla: You heard me! Heading to the ring as we speak is a very tough man, "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin.

Brain: More like "Ragged", if you ask me...

Gorilla: Would you stop?!

Ronnie Garvin v Barry Horowitz (ref:Danny Davis)

Pretty much a squash...Horowitz didn't even get to pat himself on the back. 44,38,50

Gorilla: And there's the Hands of Stone! 1....2....3!!! That was a com- WAIT!!! Greg Valentine comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Garvin turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Greg Valentine has left Garvin down and bloodied!

Brain: Ha! That ham & egger didn't even know what hit him!

Gorilla: Give me a break!

Commercial Break

Haku v Red Rooster (ref: Joey Marella)

Haku opens op with his normal chop/kick/headbutt offense. First 3 minutes are all Haku. End comes when Haku removes the turnbuckle pad. He tries to send Rooster into it, but Rooster reverses. Small package from Rooster gets the pin. 62,60,64

Brain: What a travesty! No fair Monsoon! He cheated!

Gorilla: Cheated? Would you stop?!Haku started-

Brain: The referee! He's reversing the decision! Like I always say, cheaters never win, Monsoon.

Gorilla: You never say that.

Suddenly, Smash comes running down the aisle with a chair as Haku leaves the ring. He "smashes" the chair repeatedly into Haku, who is carried away on a stretcher.

Brain: That man should be arrested Monsoon! That was disgusting, sick, and disgustingly sick, I tell you!

Gorilla: He wants the title, Brain. Demoliton wants their tag titles back.

Brain: You think?

Commercial Break

Jack Tunney is in the ring, preparing to announce a tag-team title match for Royal Rumble between Demoliton and Andre & Haku. Andre wants Demolition suspended for Smash attacking Haku. When Tunney refuses, Andre attacks Tunney...who then suspends HIM! 69% (Jack Tunney gained overness from this segment. Andre The Giant lost overness from this segment)

Ad for the Royal Rumble/Commercial Break

Gorilla: I cannot believe what we have just witnessed! Let's go to the next match!

Million $ Man v Tito Santana (ref: Dave Hebner)

This match was allegedly for DiBiase's Million Dollar Belt. Very close match, with both competitors trading falls. Santana hit the flying forearm,but DiBiase has his foot on the ropes. End comes when DiBiase hits Santana with the belt while Virgin is distracting the ref. 70, 72, 70

Gorilla: DiBiase has stolen another victory, Brain.

Brain: Stolen? He bought, I mean, um...he won that match fair and square.

Gorilla: Well, what about Virgil?!

Brain: What about him?

Gorilla: Give me a break! Oh no...(groans) it's Brother Love...

Brother Love: I LOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE YEW! (loud boos) My guest this week...is a man...who has...no love. He is a man...who cuts hair. He is a man...who cuts hair and shows no love. (crowd cheers in anticipation) He is...Brutus..."The Barber"....Beefcake!

(Brutus heads to the ring to a loud pop)

BL: Welcome, to the Brother Love Show. Now...I LOVE YEW....even though you are a man who cuts hair. (Beefcake starts opening & closing his shears) You have a match at the Royal Rumble...with a loving man. (Beefcake looks confused) A man...who is a model of love. (boos). He is the Model...Rick...Martel. (louder boos). Now, what do you have to say about the Model?

Beefcake: You know what, Brother Love? After I pin The Model, ha, ha, I will give him what you may call...a "model" haircut. Then the whole world will see a bald model! (crowd cheers)

At this point, Beefcake starts his normal incoherant babbling. Suddenly, Martel attacks Beefcake from behind, then sprays him in the eyes with his "perfume". 64%

Gorilla: I cannot believe what we just witnessed. The Barber has been blinded by that...that..that BUGSPRAY!

Brain: Bugspray? Shows what you know about cologne, Monsoon. I guess if it doesn't smelll like bananas, then you don't want any.

Gorilla: Would you stop?!

promo for the returning Harley Race, announcing him as a new manager in the WWF. 66%

Commercial Break

The Young Stallions (Paul Roma & Jim Powers) v The Bolsheviks (ref: Danny Davis)

Slow, plodding match that was basically a squash for the Russians. Finish came when Powers went for a vertical suplex, and Zhukov grabbed his leg from the outside and held it as Volkoff pinned Powers. After the match, Roma was tossed from the ring so they could beat the shit out of Powers....who is then saved by....Hercules. 56,51, 61

Gorilla: The mighty Hercules has saved the day!

Brain: Mighty is right...mighty stupid!

Gorilla: Give me a break!

Hulk Hogan is shown in the back, cutting a generic promo about his Hulkamaniacs, when he is attacked by a masked man. As officals tend to the fallen Hogan, the masked man leaves...followed by....Harley Race! 91%

Gorilla: (in a sad voice) I cannot believe what we have just witnessed. The Hulkster has been beaten to oblivion by this new protege of Harley Race. What a sad day for all the millions of Hulkamaniacs, and wh-

Brain:..and what a glorious day for me! Hulkamania is DEAD! Hulkamania is dead, I tell you.

Gorilla: Wou-

Brian: No I won't stop! You sound like a broken record, Monsoon.

Gorilla: ...

Brain: That's what I thought. Hmph!

Gorilla: Let's just go to our next match. It's the main event! (voice regains composure, and enthusiasm) The Ultimate Warrior will defend his Intercontinental Championship against the always dangerous...Bad News Brown.

The Ultimate Warrior © v Bad News Brown (for the IC title) (ref: Earl Hebner

Brown shockingly opens the match with his Ghetto Blaster finisher, which UW then proceeds to kick out of. UW then clotheslines Brown. As Bad News gets up, UW does it again. He proceeds to do this five times. As he starts running against the ropes, he does not notice Harley Race has made his way to ringside. He distracts the referee, while the same masked man that attacked Hogan hits Warrior in the leg with a crowbar, then runs and sits down next to Heenan. Brown then puts UW in the Figure Four Leg Lock as the ref turns around. He stops the match due to UW having passed out from the pain. UW is then carried away by stretcher. 59,66, 46

As Brown leaves with the IC title, Harley Race & the Masked Man head to the ring. Race picks up a mic.

Race: I hope you're watching from your hospital bed, Hogan! What you have just seen is only the beginning. The entire WWF will crumble at our hands! You see Hogan, you ended my career 3 years ago, and I've never forgiven you for it. I was "The King" of the WWF, Hogan. But what you fail to realize is this: before I was "King" Harley Race, I was... "World Champion" Harley Race! I was the man, Hogan! But you ended that for me, Hogan! You ended my wrestling career, Hogan! Now, this man, this man here with me, HE will end YOURS. He, too, is a former world champion. He, too, suffered a great injustice because of you, Hogan! He could have been champion here one day, Hogan, but no...he knew you would always avoid him. He knew you would never offer him a title shot, Hogan. So, he sat in a dumpy apartment in Charlotte (crowd gasps), and watched you pretend to be champion. But you see, Hogan, THIS MAN won the REAL World Championship belt; no, it wasn't your's Hogan, but it was won and defended against WRESTLERS, not against circus freaks. No...this man truly is...THE MAN. And like it's always said around Charlotte, to be the man, you have to beat...him. For he is....THE BLACK SCORPION!!!

The crowd sits in stunned silence as Race and The Black Scorpion leave the ring, 82% overall show rating 67%

End of Show.

Edited by Billy Castillo
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Wrestling World Weekly

Recap for the week of 12/31/90 - 1/5/90

By Carter Burke

What a busy week it was, with a shocking show from the WWF on Monday 1/1/90. Harley Race made his return to the federation as a manager, but it was his new protege, "The Black Scorpion" that made the most impact, attacking Hogan and costing The Ultimate Warrior the IC championship to Bad News Brown.

-- Speaking of the Scorpion, as of this writing (1/6/90), it is unknown who the identity of this Black Scorpion is. The president of the National Wrestling Alliance, Jim Peterik, has denied the mystery man is Ric Flair, and has promised legal action if the WWF continues to imply that it his him. Meanwhile, calls to the home of Ric Flair have not been returned. This writer has an idea that it may be in fact Flair, which would explain the mask. As subscribers will get this a week after I actually type this, you may already know!

--- Sources tell me that several wrestlers have lost their jobs over this past week. From USWA: Steve Austin, Jeff Jarrett, Dustin Rhodes, Bill Dundee, Dutch Mantell, Jerry Lawler (for his attack on Eddie Marlin, from what my sources told me), Robert Fuller, Kerry Von Erich, matchmaker Eddie Marlin (retired after Lawler ran him down with his car) and Eric Embry. From AWA: Nightstalker, The Trooper, Larry Zbyszko, Nikita Koloff, Baron Von Raschke, Kokina Maximus, Spike Jones, Sgt. Slaughter, Masa Saito, Ken Patera, and Wahoo McDaniel. NWA let go of Denny Brown.

--- The WWF signed Nikita Koloff and Dustin Rhodes on Wednesday. Matchmaker Billy Castillo stated he was not interested in either Von Erich brother.

-In other WWF news, Dusty Rhodes is out for 9 months with a torn calf.

That's all for now! Remember, to renew your subscription to the hottest weekly wrestling fanzine (Dave Who?) with all the hottest, in-depth news, be sure and call

555-484-4848 and ask for Carter. Please note that my secretary is loony and I cannot fire her due to this; if she insists she is my mother, please hang up. I'm a 30 year old with a hot wife people; remember that!

Edited by Billy Castillo
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WWF Wrestling Challenge Preview

---In action will be:

Roddy Piper

The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannety)

Ted DiBiase

Jake "The Snake" Roberts

In a special main event, Hulk Hogan will defend his WWF championship against the debuting Nikita Koloff

---Brother Love's special guest will be The Ultimate Warrior.

--We'll also take a special look at Monday's happenings- the heated rivalry between Ronnie Garvin and Greg Valentine, the shocking suspension of Andre the Giant, and the mysterious Black Scorpion.

---The first few matches for The Royal Rumble will be announced.

All this on the next jam packed episode of WWF Wrestling Challenge! Check your local listings.

Edited by Billy Castillo
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WWF Superstars 1/6/04

Vince McMahon: Welcome fans! Welcome to WWF Superstars! This is Vince McMahon, and I'm here with the always entertaining...Jesse "The Body" Ventura!

Jesse: Believe me, McMahon, the pleasure is all yours.

Vince: Let's go to the ring, where Jake "The Snake" Roberts will be in action.

Jake Roberts v Brooklyn Brawler Ref: Danny Marsh

Brawler attacks Roberts before the bell, but Jake quickly fights him off. Jake spends the next 5 minutes methodically whipping Brawler's ass, until Brawler catches him with a low blow. Brawler sends Jake into the ropes, then stupidly lowers his head for a back bodydrop. Of course, you know what's next. DDT...1....2....3. Jake wins. (57,52, 77)

Vince: That was dominant, Jesse. That match was *all* Jake "The Snake Roberts"!

Jesse: Indeed it was, McMahon.

Vince: Let's go the the ring, where we have tag-team action up next!

The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) v "Iron" Mike Sharpe & Barry Horowitz Ref: Joey Marella

Michaels starts off with Horowitz, and quickly takes control with a couple of armdrags. After the second one, Michaels dropkicks Barry and quickly tags in Jannetty. Jannetty hits Horowitz with a couple of armdrags, hits the dropkick, and tags Shawn back in, where they proceed to hit a double drop kick. Both Rockers climb to the turnbuckle...and hit the double fist drop. 1...2...3!!! Rockers win. (60, 52,83)

Vince: What an impressive display from the Rockers!

Jesse: Indeed McMahon, indeed. You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm surprised that they successfully isolated their opponent the way they did; he never even got the chance to tag in his partner, McMahon! Not bad for a couple of pretty boys!

Vince: This has to- What the...

(Suddenly, the Rockers are attacked by two men dressed in street clothes. They pummel Michaels and Jannetty, and proceed to hit a spike piledriver. They quickly run back to the dressing room)

Vince: Oh, no! The Rockers were beaten to oblivion by two mystery men...wait....the tall blonde man looks like former tag-team champion Barry Windham!

Jesse: Yeah, it was Windham. He obviously has become a man since he was last here. No more shaking hands and kissing babies for him, McMahon! Now, the other guy looks familiar...

Vince: Why...that's...that's....that's Nikita Koloff!

Jesse: Yeah...Nikita Koloff, son of the great Ivan Koloff! Ivan Koloff was a former WWF champion, you know!

Vince: Who knows what they have in store for the WWF now? Who can stop them?!

Commerical break, featuring the Bushwackers hyping up the WWF Ice Cream Bars. Also, Sean Mooney does a local spot for a house show.

Vince: And we're back! Koko B Ware will be in action.

Jesse: And here comes Buckwheat now!

Vince: (annoyed) Jesse...

(Koko B Ware heads to the ring with Frankie )

Vince: I wonder who his opponent will be?

(cue entrance music) "Ha Ha!!!!Money Money Money Money MONEYY"

Jesse: Ahhh...it's the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase!

Koko B Ware v Ted DiBiase Ref: Danny Marsh

Koko puts up a valiant fight, but DiBiase is too much for him. Everytime Ware starts to mount an offense, DiBiase cheats to take control. Eventually, he puts Koko away with the Million $ Dream. After the match, DiBiase puts a five dollar bill in Koko's mouth and leaves.

Vince: That was uncalled for, Jesse!

Jesse: The man won, McMahon, he can do whatever he wants! Money talks, McMahon!

Vince: Money does not give anyone the right to be a pompous jerk, Jesse.

Jesse: And what would you know about that, McMahon?

Vince: ...

Hype video plays, showing what transpired on Monday with Ron Garvin and Greg Valentine. (53%)

Rowdy Roddy Piper v The Genius Ref: Joey Marella

Match never really gets underway, as Piper just beats the hell out of Genius and leaves. Match is officially ruled a no-contest. Interestingly, Vince McMahon was quiet during the whole match, which left Ventura to call the match (such as it was) by himself.

Commercial break

Hercules v Mr Perfect Ref: Danny Marsh

Hercules suprisingly dominates the match, hitting Perfect with clotheslines and bodyslams.Just when he is about to win, Bobby Heenan stands on the apron and distracts him. This buys Perfect enough time to sneak up behind Herc, knee him in the kidneys, and hit the perfect plex for the win. After the match, Perfect continues his assual, when suddenly Jim Powers comes in with a chair and chases Perfect and Heenan away. (73,72,70)

Vince: Thank goodness for Jim Powers! Who knows how badly the mighty Hercules could have been hurt due to the dastardly actions of Mr. Perfect?

Jesse: He's obviously repaying the favor, McMahon.

Vince: That's right! We may have the beginnings of a new alliance here in the WWF, Jesse. One must wonder though...where does Paul Roma fit into all of this?

Jesse: Who cares? It's Paul Roma!

Vince: (laughs) That's not very nice...anyway, it's time for the Brother Love show!

Brother Love: I...........LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVE.........YEW! I LUV Yew! My guest this week...is a man...who has....no love. It is a man who is filled with hate...rage....and anger. This man is named....The Ultimate.....Warrior.....

(The crowd cheers as UW runs to the set and does his normal growling and beating his chest)

BL: Mr. Warrior....how do you feel about what Bad News Brown did to you?

UW: Mghfp grumple SNORT!!!!

BL: Uh-huh...well, then....do you have any love in your heart for Bad News Brown?

UW: Arrrgh brahahah SNARL~!

BL: Alright then....Mr.Warrior...what is your opinion of this newcomer, the Black Scorpion. I hear he is...a loving man....

UW: Achtung grunt mhghl rumple GROWL~!


UW: (looks confused) RAGE!!!!!DESTROY!!!!!

(At this point, UW begins to destroy the set, smashing and crushing everything in his path, then runs off screaming) 70%

Commercial break

Jesse: Well...that certainly was....interesting, McMahon.

Vince: Indeed it was. Who knows what goes through the mind of the Ultimate Warrior?

Jesse: If anything does at all....

Vince: (laughs) That's not very nice... (suddenly gets excited) I've just been informed that Mean Gene Okerlund is standing by with Hulk Hogan!

Gene: Thank you, Vince! I'm standing by with the Hulkster, who has a special message for...

Hulk: Whoa Whoa Whoa...hey there, little dude....(turns towards camera) I was sitting in the crowd, with all my little Hulksters, when I see that attack on the Rockers! You know, daddy, I know how it feels to be jumped from behind, brother. I was attacked by that sneaky no-good Black Scorpion, brother! So I asked my little Hulkmaniacs, what do you want the Hulkster to do about it? You know what they told me, Mean Gene?

Gene: What, Hulk? I'm sure all over the world, people are glued to their TV sets...anticipating...

Hulk: They probably are, daddy! What they said, brother, was... why don't you start with Nikita Koloff? Show that dirty Black Scorpion that crime never pays! So, Koloff, I'm going to make an example out of you, brother! And I hope you're watching, Scorpion, when I hit the big boot (grunts) and then I drop the big leg, and then I go for the pin...and the ref, daddy, the ref starts counting....the ref counts....he counts the pin, brother! So whatchya gonna do....when Hulkamania runs WILD...on you.... (grunts orgasmically)

Gene: That match is next!

Commercial Break

Hulk Hogan © v Nikita Koloff Non-Title Ref: Dave Hebner

Koloff attacks Hogan before the bell, before Hogan can even rip his shirt off. He pummels him with clubbing forearms, but to no avail, as Hogan begins "Hulking Up" right off the bat. He bodyslams Koloff, sends him to the ropes and hits the boot. He hits the legdrop and goes for the cover, but then notices Harley Race has come to the ring. He gets up off of Koloff to jaw at Harley, when suddenly the Black Scorpion appears from under the ring, and attacks Hogan with a baseball bat! He beats Hogan unconcious, and slaps the figure four on him! While he has Hogan in the manuver, Harley Race grabs a microphone...

Race: Hogan!!!! We've done it again! Your WEAK, Hogan! You're defenseless, Hogan! (fans boo LOUDLY) You're weak and YELLOW, Hogan! But if you think this is this worst of it, Hogan, you're sadly mistaken. You see, at the Royal Rumble....President Jack Tunney has granted the Black Scorpion a title match against you, Hogan. You cannot beat him, Hogan! You cannot defeat this man, this WRESTLER (Scorpion begins to do a familiar looking strut), this unbeatable WRESTLER...who will take the title away from you,Hogan! But your misery will not end there, oh no...For I have assembled the single-most DOMINATING group of wrestlers the WWF has ever seen. First, there's Nikita Koloff...the son of one of the meanest, most vicious WWF champions ever, Ivan Koloff! Then, there's Barry Windham...6'7, 265 pounds of brutality! Then, of course, there's the Scorpion, who has forgotten more about wrestling than you will EVER know. So, enjoy your precious title while you can Hogan, for you're days...are numbered!

(As Hogan lies writhing in pain, Barry Windham comes out to celebrate with Scorpion and Race. 60,75,64)

End of Show

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  • 8 months later...

Damn...been nearly a year...think I'm going to actually finish this. Been playing EWR for the first time since July, and I'm feeling it again. I don't have the saved game anymore (different computer), but I can get right back to that point.

I still remember where this was headed concerning the Scorpion. You'll like it.

And, yes...I know Nikita Koloff was billed as Ivan Koloff's nephew, not son, but since they were not related in real life, and since this is 80s WWF (with all the fictional backstories for workers), let's just say that's how he was being booked at this point in time.

Next show should be up in a few...been working on this the past couple of days. Thankfully this was still here...

edit...durr...had to correct my sig, which claimed this was a 1989 diary. As we all know, it's a 1990 diart.

Finishing up the card now...

Edited by Billy Castillo
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WWF Superstars 1/7/90

Vince McMahon: Welcome fans! Welcome to WWF Superstars! This is Vince McMahon, and I'm here with the always entertaining...Jesse "The Body" Ventura!

Jesse: Believe me, McMahon, the pleasure is all yours.

Vince: Let's go to the ring...

Young Stallions vs Akeem/Big Bossman

Akeem and Bossman spend the entire match beating the hell out of Roma. After about 5 minutes of abuse, Roma manages to avoid a splash attempt by Akeem. He crawls to the corner...only Powers steps off the apron! The Twin Towers easily finish off Roma. After the match, all three men attack Roma. Suddenly Hercules runs to the ring...and joins in!

Rating: 70%

(note: both Powers & Hercules are now Heels)

Vince: What a turncoat! How could Jim Powers do this to his partner, Paul Roma?

Jesse: Very easily.

Vince: But...but...

Jesse: Who cares? It's just Paul Roma!

Vince: ...

(commercial break)

Vince: WWF President Jack Tunney is in the ring with a microphone...

Jesse: Ahh...good old Jack Tunney. Hey, McMahon, did you know that Tunney is the president of the Association of Sophisticaed Sportsmen?

Vince: No I did n-

Jesse: Yeah, good ol' Jack from A.S.S.

Vince: ...

Tunney announces Hulk Hogan will defend his WWF championship versus the Black Scorpion at next Sunday's Royal Rumble PPV. Also, the winner of the RR match itself will meet the WWF champion at Wrestlemania.

Rating: 60%

Vince: Jesse! Did you hear that?!

Jesse: I DO have ears, McMahon.

Vince: ...

Jesse: That's what I thought.

Vince: When we come back, Ravishing Rick Rude will be in action...

(commercial break)

Rick Rude vs Tim Horner

Short, quick, and to the point. Horner had no offense the entire match, as Rude beat him in under 5 minutes. Surprisingly, there was no post-match kiss from Rude this time.

Rating: 65%

Vince: What a dominating display by Rick Rude.

Jesse: Indeed,McMahon. It seems to me that Rude is more serious. Notice how he didn't kiss any of the cows in this arena.

Vince: That's not very nice, Jesse. Now, here's a special look at the Hart Foundation...

A hype video plays for the Foundation, highlighting their successful career so far in the WWF.

Rating: 84%

(commercial break)

Jimmy Snuka versus Mr Perfect

Perfect starts with some chops, but Snuka reverses a hiptoss into a pair of slams and a big headbutt that puts Perfect on the floor. Perfect returns, but is met by hard chops, and more headbutts. Snuka goes up, but hits knees on a splash. Perfectplex....and it's over.

Rating: 78%

Vince: A valiant effort by Snuka, but to no avail. What a man Jimmy Snuka is, wouldn't you agree?

Jesse: He's a moron.

Vince: That was uncalled for.

Jesse: Speaking of morons...look, it's Duggan.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Bad News Brown (IC TITLE)

Slow, plodding match from the two. Brown esp. looked bad. End comes when Brown brings in a chair and swings it...which is blocked by Duggan using his board. Ref DQ's both wrestlers.

Rating: 65%

Vince: Mean Gene is standing by with Hulk Hogan!

Okerlund: I'm standing here with the WWF Cha-

Hogan: Whoa whoa whoa whoa...hold on a minute,daddy! The Hulkster's got something to say! Now, I know all my little Hulkamaniacs are sitting at home watching, and wondering, and worrying about the same thing. When is the Hulkster going to destroy that no-good Black Scorpion, and his henchman? Well, brother, I'll tell you this: At the Royal Rumble, I will wrap the largest arms in the world around you, Scorpion! I will squeeze, then I will squeeze some more, and then I'll squeeze, and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze, until you turn blue and die, brother! Then I'll drop the big leg daddy, and then you'll be beat. WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHEN THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD..... COME DOWN ON YOU!!!!! Grraaaaa!!!!

Rating: 100% (Bill's note:seriously. Never had a segment go this high in all the time I've played this game. Goddamn, why did it happen to be with Hogan)

Overall Rating: 74%

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BTW...that comment about "Jack from A.S.S." that I had Jesse Ventura use was an actual line from the 1987 Slammy's. I don't remember the actual setup, but it was the funniest damn thing I heard back then.

Must be, if I still remember it 18 yrs later, eh?

Big update tommorrow.

edit...working on it right now. I'll post them in installments, editing until the entire card is up.

Edited by Billy Castillo
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WWF Prime Time Wrestling 1/8/04

Gorilla Monsoon: Hello everybody, and welcome to Prime Time Wrestling! With me is Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

Bobby: All these ham & eggers at home are just waiting to see the in-ring debut of The Black Scorpion! He's going to face the chicken, Monsoon!

Gorilla: Would you stop!

The Black Scorpion vs The Red Rooster

The Scorpion is wearing a black bodysuit and a black mask, making it impossible to make out any distinguishing features. He is led to the ring by Harley Race and Windham and Koloff. Before the bell, Scorpion attacks Rooster. Esp. noteworthy are the loud chops he uses, turning Rooster's chest a frightning shade of red. Rooster manges to mount a bit of a comeback, which is quickly thwarted when Scorp uses a chopblock to take out his right knee. Figure Four...Rooster submits!

Rating: 76%

Gorilla: The Black Scorpion is victorious. What an impressive debut!

Heenan: I'm telling you Monsoon, this man is the REAL World's champion. Hogan doesn't stand a chance.

Gorilla: That remains to be seen, Brain.

(commercial break)

(Mean Gene is in the back, interviewing Brutus Beefcake)

Okerlund: I'm standing here with Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. Brutus, you have a match with "The Model" Rick Martel at the Roy-

Beefcake: Yes! The Model at the Royal Rumble, I know! I'm going to cut his hair, and then we'll have a bald Model! Ha ha ha ha!

Okerlund: Wai-wait a minutes...what are you guys doing here?!

(Harley Race walks in, with Windham, Koloff, and the Black Scorpion following him)

Race: Beefcake...you are a friend of Hogan's...right? Yes...of course you are. We're here to make you an offer, Beefcake.

Beefcake: Oh really? I'm not inter-

Race: You better be interested,fool. You see, I'm here with my crew, collectively known as "Apocolypse". Now, as every man,woman, and child know, there are supposed to be FOUR horsemen of the Apocolypse. What I'm saying, is this: we are looking for a fourth member. Now, I know you're pals with Hogan, but -

Beefcake: You're darn right I'm friends with Hog-

Race: Don't interrupt me. You'd be a fool not to join us. We are talking over the WWF. Soon, nobody in the WWF will be safe. So...are you with us or... GET HIM!!!!

(As Beefcake turns to walk away, the three members of Apocolypse proceed to demolish him. The four men leave, laughing, as medics attend to the unconcious Beefcake.)

Rating: 66%


Gorilla: What a sickening display by those...those...those THUGS!

Brain: Careful, Gorilla, or you'll end up on ice like Beefcake.

Gorilla: Let's go to our next match.

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs: Greg Valentine

Dull, punch/kick affair that last for about 4 minutes. End comes when Ron Garvin runs in and attacks Valentine. The ref has no choice but to call for the bell. Garvin & Valentine brawl to the back.

Rating: 62%

Gorilla: The fued between Garvin and Valentine is far from over, Brain!

Brain: Oh, it will end Monsoon! "The Hammer" will end Garvin's career at the Royal Rumble,you can count on that!

Gorilla: Sean Mooney is standing by, with some important and shocking news concerning the Big Bossman.

Mooney: Earlier today, we received news of a vicious assualt on the Big Bossman. He was rushed to the hospital early this morning after apparently sustaining a severe beating at the hands of Bad News Brown. I'm being told that we have a live feed, where the Bossman apparently has something he wants to share with us.

( scene turns to a hospital bed, where Bossman is lying. Both eyes are swollen, and his nose looks obviously broken)

(in a pained voice)

Bossman: Bad News Brown! You got me good, you really did. Attacking me on my way to the arena...I must admit, I never saw this coming. But rest assured, I WILL get my revenge. At the Royal Rumble, I will take your Intercontinental Title away from you. You WILL serve hard time,Brown. You can guarantee it.

(scene fades away, back to Mooney)

Mooney: I have been informed that President Jack Tunney has granted Bossman the match at Royal Rumble against Bad News Brown. Hopefully, we can get words from Bad News Brown as to why the attack occured.

(Bossman is now a face. He was gained overness for this turn) Rating:61%

(commercial break)

Gorilla: I can't believe what we witnessed,Brain! Why would Bad News Brown attack the Big Bossman like that?

Brain: That's easy. I've always said Bossman was a dirty cop, and now I-

Gorilla: You have not! Just last week you said Bossman should be looked at as a hero to millions.

Brain: No, Monsoon, I said it looks like Bossman has been eating about a million hero sandwiches. Clean your ears.

Gorilla: Would you stop?! Anyway, the next match is about to begin...

Barry Windham/Nikita Koloff vs. The Bushwhackers

Windham and Koloff attack the 'whackers before the bell. For about 5 minutes, they take turns demolishing the Bushwhackers. Luke and Butch get NO offense in, to the shock of the crowd (and to the delight of Bobby Heenan). Finish comes when Windham hits Luke with a Lariat that nearly decapitates him.

Rating: 50%

Gorilla: An impressive win over the Bushwhackers, Brain. We may be looking at future tag-team champions.


Hype video for the new team of Powers and Glory (Jim Powers and Hercules). Rating: 55%

Mr. Perfect vs Shawn Michaels

Michaels is accompanied by Jannetty. Match is suprisingly dominated by Michaels. He makes a fatal mistake, though, when he lowers his head to backdrop Perfect, who then hits Michaels with the Perfect Plex to win.

Rating: 84%

Gorilla: What an impressive come-from-behind win by Perfect!

Brain: Of course, Monsoon, of course. The Heenan Family is the most dominant force in the World Wrestling Federation.

Gorilla: What about Apocolypse?

Brain: Well...um...quit trying to get me in trouble, Monsoon!

(Pre-recorded comments from WWF President Jack Tunney. He has lifted the suspension of Andre the Giant, who will team up with Haku to defend their tag titles against Demolition at Sunday's Royal Rumble.

Rating: 58%

(commercial break)

Gorilla: It's now time for our main event, where Hulk Hogan will face Ted DiBiase in a non-title match!

Hulk Hogan vs. Ted DiBiase

Match never happens. As soon as Hogan enters the ring, the lights go out. When the lights come back on, Hogan is unconcious, with Scorpion and Race standing beside him. DiBiase slowly backs awayand out of the ring as the two celebrate. Rating: 75%

Overall Rating: 66%

Edited by Billy Castillo
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WWF Wrestling Challenge Preview

The entire card for the Royal Rumble will be announced!

Appearing will be:

The Genius

Rowdy Roddy Piper

Rick Martel

Randy Savage versus Jake "The Snake" Roberts in the main event!

Plus fallout from the attack on Hulk Hogan!

Check your local listings!

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Gorilla Monsoon: Hello everybody, and welcome to WWF Wrestling Challenge. Here with me on this Royal Rumble weekend is the Brain, Bobby Heenan. We have an outstanding show for you today, don't we Bobby?

Brain: Indeed we do, Monsoon. I know *I'm* looking forward to seeing the Macho King beating up that no-good snake, Jake Roberts.

Gorilla: Also, Roddy Piper will be here tonight. But first, we have The Model Rick Martel in action, who will face a mystery opponent at the Royal Rumble due to the injury sustained by Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake at the hands of Apocolypse. Brain, do you have any idea of who this mystery opponent could be?

Brain: No I don't. It's a mystery to me.

Gorilla: ... Let's just go to the ring.

Rick Martel vs. Koko B.Ware

Ware starts off fast, hitting Martel with several dropkicks in a row. Martel soon takes over,though, after kicking Ware in the face on an attempted back bodydrop. Ware tries to mount a comeback, but is no match for Martel, and soon submits to the Boston Crab. Rating: 64%

Gorilla: What a valiant effort by the "Birdman".

Brain: Valiant, schmaliant, Monsoon! Buckwheat still lost.

Gorilla: Would you stop?!

(commercial break)

Hype video plays, detailing the events leading up to the title match at the Rumble between Hogan and the Black Scorpion. Rating: 82%

The Genius vs. "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin

A total squash for most of the match, dominated by Garvin and his plodding offense. Garvin is about to finish off Genius after the Garvin Stomp, when Greg Valentine arrives. As Garvin is jawing with Valentine, Genius rolls up and pins Garvin. Rating:61%

Brain: He outsmarted him, Monsoon! That's why they call him The Genius,Monsoon!

Gorilla: He needed help to do it, though, help from Greg Valentine.

Brain: So?

Gorilla: So?! What do you mean, "so"?!

Brain: It means what it means. Do I have to draw you a diagram? Where's my magic marker and construction paper? I need scissors...

Gorilla: Give me a break...

(Quick Big Bossman promo. Basically says he's ready for his Rumble match against Bad News Brown.)Rating:68%

(commercial break)

Roddy Piper vs. Barry Horowitz

Piper's intro takes longer than the match itself. Piper locks on the sleeper as soon as Horowitz turns his back to take off his robe. Rating: 58%

Gorilla: What an impressive win for Hot Rod. When we return, Jake Roberts will be squaring off against the Macho King, Randy Savage.

Brain: I can't wait for that one. The great thing about the Macho King, is this: He's got over a million ways to hurt you, and they all hurt!

Gorilla: Give me a break...

Hype video for Apocolypse (and Black Scorpion in particular), highlighting the search for a 4th member. Rating: 68%

(commercial break)

Macho King Randy Savage vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Great match that made up for a rather uneventful show. Back and forth action between the two, until Savage takes an advantage when Sensational Sherri distracts Roberts. Savage controls for the next 5 minutes, until Roberts regains the advantage when he punches Savage in the stomach during a top-rope axhandle attempt. Roberts hits Savage with a short-arm clothesline, but time runs out just when he signals for the DDT. Rating:81%

Gorilla: We are out of time! We'll see you this Sunday at the Royal Rumble!

Brain: What if our eyes are closed?

Gorilla: ...

Overall Rating: 70%

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1990 Royal Rumble Preview

30 Man Royal Rumble (winner gets title shot at Wrestlemania)

For The World Wrestling Federation Chammpionship:

Hulk Hogan© versus The Black Scorpion

For the Intercontinental Championship:

Big Bossman versus Bad News Brown©

For the Tag Team Championship:

Demolition versus Andre The Giant & Haku ©

The Model Rick Martel versus ???

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vesus "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin

Ted DiBiase versus Tito Santana

Only on Pay Per View!

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Guest Jules

30 Man Royal Rumble (winner gets title shot at Wrestlemania)

Randy Savage

For The World Wrestling Federation™ Championship:

Hulk Hogan© versus The Black Scorpion

For the Intercontinental Championship:

Big Bossman versus Bad News Brown©

For the Tag Team Championship:

Demolition versus Andre The Giant & Haku ©

The Model Rick Martel versus ???

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vesus "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin

Ted DiBiase versus Tito Santana

-- My predictions for the Rumble. Keep up the great work so far man. :thumbsup:

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Good predictions. As my card is already written (I'm 2 months ahead on my EWR game in comparison to the diary) I can say that you're umm...right on at least one prediction ;)

No guesses as to whom the Scorpion is?

You'll guys will like this one...

Should be up in about 15 minutes.

Since it's a long show, I'll add the matches one by one (by editing the original post).\

If the show doesn't look finished, try refreshing it.

Edited by Billy Castillo
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30 Man Royal Rumble (winner gets title shot at Wrestlemania)


For The World Wrestling Federation™ Championship:

Hulk Hogan© versus The Black Scorpion

Winner: Hogan

For the Intercontinental Championship:

Big Bossman versus Bad News Brown©

Winner: Bad News

For the Tag Team Championship:

Demolition versus Andre The Giant & Haku ©

Winners: Demolition

The Model Rick Martel versus ???


Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vesus "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin

Winner: Valentine

Ted DiBiase versus Tito Santana

Winner: DiBiase

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WWF Royal Rumble 1990

Ted DiBiase vs. Tito Santana

Great opener that got the crowd hot. Santana *completely* dominates the first fove minutes of the match. DiBiase takes control after Virgil grabs hold of Santana's leg, enabling DiBiase to knee him from behind. For the next 6 or 7 minutes, DiBiase methodically works Santana over. Tito hits the flying forearm out of desperation, but is unable to capitalize. Finally, he is able to mount a comeback, peppering DiBiase with rights and lefts. Dropkick, for two. Small package, for two. He hits the forearm again, but Virgil distracts the ref. Santana clotheslines Virgil off the apron, but gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream at 15:36. Rating:74%

Greg Valentine versus Ron Garvin

Garvin attacks Valentine before the bell, but Valentine counters with a rake to the eyes. He works over Garvin's leg for a couple of minutes, until Garvin comes back with a clothesline for two. He starts punching away at Valentine, when Jimmy Hart gets on the apron. Garvin knocks Hart down, who drops his megaphone. Valentine hits Garvin with the megaphone, but it doesn't phase him*. Garvin steals the megaphone and hits Valentine with it, causing the ref to DQ both men at 6:40. Rating: 59%

(*=read: Garvin no-sold the megaphone shot)

Rick Martel versus ???

Martel gets on the mic, boldly declaring himself to be unbeatable, regardless of whom he faces. Out comes...Bam Bam Bigelow! Bam Bam destroys Martel in about 3:00, finishing him off with a flying headbutt from the top rope. Rating:56%

Demolition versus Colossal Connection (Andre/Haku)-For the Tag Titles

Demolition attack before the bell, hitting Haku with a double clothesline. They do the same to Andre, who staggers but doesn't fall. They try again, Andre still doesn't go down. Third time proves to be the charm, however, as the Demos manage to knock Andre clear out of the ring. From there, the Giant is a non-factor, as Demolition immediately use the Decaption Elbow on Haku, regaining the tag titles at roughly 2:43. Rating: 68%

Big Bossman versus Bad News Brown-IC Title

Total slugfest, with neither man able to gain an advantage. Brown takes control by hitting BB with a low blow, which draws a warning from the ref. Brown then goes to town on BB for the next 6 minutes. It soon becomes apparent that Bossman has injured ribs, which Brown targets. Each time BB would try to make a comeback, Brown would hit him in the ribs, ending the rally. Bossman finally starts to regain the upperhand after surprising Brown (and the fans!) with an enziguiri. He starts beating the heck out of Brown, who bleeds. Bossman Slam! 1.....2.........DING! The time has run out at 20:00. Angry, Bossman begins using his nightstick to pummel on the fallen Brown. Refs,security, and WWF officials manage to calm Bossman down. BB leaves to a loud pop. Rating: 74%

Various interviews of participants in the Royal Rumble are shown

Royal Rumble

First two men in are Akeem and Jim Powers. Powers gets demolished, but doesn't get sent over. Hercules comes in at #3, and the two of them eliminate Akeem. A noteworthy event happens as the two partners have to face each other...and actually eliminate each other from the rumble! It looks as though they may come to blows...only they end up laughing at the booing crowd as they depart, because for the next 45 seconds, nobody is in the ring! Randy Savage is next at #4, and gets a full two minutes to do nothing but pose and taunt the by-now angry crowd...which erupts when Jim Duggan comes in at number 5! Duggan beats the hell out of Savage, but can't eliminate him. Neither can Koko B Ware at #6, who gets sidetracked when Paul Roma comes in at #7. By the time Earthquake comes in at #14, the ring is filled with wrestlers...until 'Quake begins tossing people out left and right...until he gets eliminated by (18) Barry Windham and (19) Nikita Koloff. Ultimate Warrior comes in at number 24 and cleans house. Warlord is late to come in at #30, but gets clotheslined out by (#27) Bret Hart as soon as he gets in the ring.

Final Four: Savage (who has been in there for over an hour), Barry Windham, Ultimate Warrior, and surpisingly Bret Hart. Unfortunately for the Hitman, he gets tossed up by Windham to loud boos...which turn to cheers as he gets knocked out by Warrior! Final two are Warrior and Savage. Warrior DESTROYS the Macho King, who is too exhausted to fight back. Everytime Savage manages to get to his feet, he gets knocked back down by Warrior! UW does his little war dance, and waits for Savage to slowly get back to his feet. Savage does...Warrior bounces off the ropes and delivers a flying shoulderblock...and Savage ducks! Randy Savage wins the Royal Rumble at 65:04 to the shock of the crowd!


Hulk Hogan versus The Black Scorpion-For the WWF Championship

Lockup, Hogan shoves Scorpion down. They lockup again, Hogan again shoves Scorpion down. After the same result happens yet again, Scorpion heads outside to confer with Race. Each time Hogan tries to get some momentum, Scorpion retreats to the outside. Finally, Hogan heads outside,too, and slams Race's and Scorpion's heads together. Back inside, Hogan bodyslams Scorpion. Hogan misses an elbow drop, however, allowing Scorpion to take over. He hits Hogan with 5 LOUD chops that draws "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd, and turns Hogan's chest an ugly shade of red. Hogan gets hit with a back suplex, for two. Hogan comes back with punches to the face, then bounces off the rope for a clothesline. Scorpion stops him cold with a chopblock, taking out Hogan's knee. Figure Four Leglock! Hogan screams in pain, but will not submit. He manages to get to the ropes...and begins Hulking up! Scorpion chops Hogan...nothing! He punches Hogan several times...nothing! Hogan then points at him...and punches back! Three clotheslines...big boot! Hogan goes for the leg drop...and hits it! Only...Hogan's knee has gone out. He tries to stand, but falls back down. This allows Scorpion to climb to the top rope. Hogan finally gets to his feet...and gets hit with a flying bodypress! 1............2...........................3!!!!"

Howard Finkel: The Winner of this match...and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion...The Blac-

Harley Race: Hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait a damned minute! Now, I've been telling all you idiots, especially *you*, Hogan, that this man was the REAL World's champ. Now, the whole world knows. Hogan, you ducked this man constantly. Yet you call yourself a champion. You call yourself a MAN. You're nothing,Hogan. NOTHING!!! But, I want you to see who managed to end Hulkamania. Scorpion, would you do the honors...?

The Black Scorpion takes off his mask..and it's Ricky Steamboat!

The crowd boos and begins throwing garbage as the show ends.

Rating: 84%

Overall Rating:71%

Edited by Billy Castillo
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WWF Primetime Wrestling Preview

It was an amazing night last night at the Royal Rumble! Tune in tonight to see the fallout. Scheduled up are:

Mr. Perfect will be in action!

Powers & Glory will meet the Bushwhackers!

Earthquake will be in action!

Fallout from the Royal Rumble!

Plus, a special interview with WWF Champion Rick Steamboat!

user posted image

Check your local listings!

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Guest Jaymz_(JMH)_Hallos

Ricky Steamboat!? I thought the Black Scorpion was Ric Flair (like real life)

Oh well, Steamboat's worthy of the title so I can't complain.

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Yeah, but Flair was still in NWA/WCW. Swerves=Ratings~

As soon as I saw Steamboat was a free agent, I signed him and came up with this angle. I remembered that Steamboat, like Flair, are listed as residents of Charlotte. Also, one of the reasons Steamboat left WWF in 1988 IRL allegedly had to do with being held back. I was originally going to call the group nWa :lol: , but figured Apocolypse would make a great 4 Horseman reference.

I was surprised to see the 2 predictions for Savage to win the Royal Rumble. I for sure thought everyone would say "Warrior" once I made it clear that the winner would get the title shot. Savage was my pick all along.

Edited by Billy Castillo
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Good Rumble, I like that Savage won the Rumble, I like that Bret had a good showing in the Rumble, glad that Bad News retained, and I'm glad Hogan lost. The only thing I didn't like was Martel jobbing to Bam Bam, I'm a Martel fan but obviously you have some plans for Bam Bam.

I gotta say Steamboat being the Black Scorpion was a big surprise, I like most readers probably thought it was Flair, Steamboat for champion is always a good thing, and it will be interesting to see him as a heel.

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Guest Jules

Whoa, nearly all of my predictions were correct.

I, too, along with Jaymz, thought that the Black Scorpion would indeed be Ric Flair. I never expected it to be Steamboat, nice swerve there Billy. :P

Keep up the good work man. I'm looking forward to Steamboat vs. Savage.

Edited by Jules
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