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Fixtures for the new Premier League season will be released tomorrow morning, so let's make some bold predictions for the new season ahead: 

  • Leicester will only manage a top-ten finish.
  • Chelsea will only make the Europe League spots at best.
  • Top 4 of Man City, Man Utd, Spurs and Arsenal. In what order I have no idea. Liverpool will just miss out towards the very end of the season.
  • Watford to continue to struggle under a new manager, particularly if one of Deeney or Ighalo leave, and get relegated. Bournemouth build on last season and do well again.
  • Hull to straight back down to the Championship with Middlesborough. Burnley to just scrape survival, at the expense of... let's say Crystal Palace.
  • Koeman's Everton to finish below his old club Southampton despite spending a metric fuckton of money.
  • Pulis (WBA) or Guidolin (Swansea) to be sacked first.
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Just want the season to start now. You're all fucking boring.

Nerf's rattled. 

Its amazing that you've only just got teletext 

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  • Ranieri sacked after hookers and drugs scandal (dilly ding, dilly dong, pass me the bong), Vialli takes charge and wins The Foxes a second PL title
  • Steve Bruce gets Hull into Europe and is then made England manager
  • Liverpool to get relegated, Klopp earns key to the city of Manchester
  • Berahino doesn't move to Spurs
  • Arsenal finish 2nd; Arsenal fans hang Arsene Wenger
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Spurs will still finish beneath us. I certainly expect Chelsea will bounce back fairly well. And I hope man u are still shit.

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2 minutes ago, MDK said:
  • Kaney to get shock Scotland call up; scores hat trick on debut

Scotland to still lose 4-3 to Faroe Islands.

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4 minutes ago, Executive Kaney said:

Scotland to still lose 4-3 to Faroe Islands.

  • Kaney scores all seven goals 
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In all seriousness here's my predictions. 

Top 4 (not in any order) Man City Arsenal Chelsea Spurs

I think we'll just miss out on 4th despite not having any European football. It'll be a battle for 5th between us and Man.Utd

Leicester and Everton to battle for 6th and 7th with West Ham, Southampton and Stoke rounding up the top 10. 

All the promoted teams will go straight back down, Sunderland will finish 17th and be involved in a relegation battle all season. 

Liverpool will win one of the cup competitions this year. 

Berahino will leave West Brom for fuck all due to being shit and West Brom not selling when they were being offered silly money for him. 

First team to sack their manager: Crystal Palace. 

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So we get our usual tough start with United, Leicester, Chelsea, Arsenal and Spurs as part of our opening 8 games. 

Stoke at home on boxing day and City at home on New Years Eve. 

I'll be in gran canaria for the Leicester game and then in Prague for the Chelsea game afterwards. 

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Struggling to find anything noteworthy about Chelsea's fixtures. We begin and end the season at home. We have back-to-back games against Arsenal and Liverpool twice (lovely). We're at home on Boxing Day AGAIN which annoys me...considering the travel difficulties when I have my season ticket already paid for.

But hey, since I will no doubt have to give up my season ticket next season due to baby costs I guess I'd better enjoy it as much as I can. :(

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Very tough christmas period and the April run-in sees a lot of the reverse.

Get off to a good start and we could be set up nicely to challenge at the top end.

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Leicester v Swansea    Sat 27 Aug   
Swansea v Chelsea    Sat 10 Sep   
Southampton v Swansea    Sat 17 Sep          
Swansea v Man City    Sat 24 Sep         
Swansea v Liverpool    Sat 1 Oct      
Arsenal v Swansea    Sat 15 Oct    

That isn't a very fun start to the season but Guidolin has some good results against top teams. Burnley makes a nice change for the opening day fixture as it's usually a Manchester team.

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