davidb1701

I'll put up two entries right now. I'm still thinking about the third. These two are both from Sleaze CW.

The first went up on ECW.com on September 15, 2008 during the feud between Mike the Miz & John Morrison and Paul London & Brian Kendrick:

<voiceover by Howard Finkel> - In a world full of winners and losers, two men have risen above to bring you - the Dork Sheet!

We saw Paul London (with his hair teased up into a faux-hawk and pigtails) seated in a director's chair beside Brian Kendrick (wearing sunglasses). "Hi," Kendrick said. "I'm Bon Bore-ison, and if I weren't wearing these sunglasses, I would have won a gold medal at the Olympics."

"So why are you wearing those?" London asked.

Kendrick sighed. "I went blind from touching myself."

"Ah." London paused a moment. "And I'm your D*ck Magnet - the Biz!" London smiled. "This week, we'll be talking with ECW announcer Mike Adamle. Come on in, Mike."

Adamle entered and froze before pointing at London. "You're not Miz the Mike! I was told that Miz the Mike would be here!"

"No," Kendrick said, "You were told that pizza rolls and old American Gladiators tapes would be here. And here they are."

Adamle smiled as he accepted the plate of pizza rolls and a video tape with Laser on the cover. "Thank you!" Adamle said. "My evening plans are now complete!"

"So, what do you have planned for your big date?" the Biz asked.

Adamle's smile grew wider. "I have a truly wonderful evening in store for Miz the Mike," he said. "I have planned a dinner at a five-star restaurant -"

"White Castle?" Bore-ison asked.

"Yes!" Adamle said. "Then we will go to the parking lot where it will be raining for dancing to romantic music."

"Wait a minute," Biz said. "How do you know it'll be raining?"

"If it isn't, I plan on paying some teenagers five dollars to spray us with a garden hose," Adamle explained.

"Ah," Biz replied. "Good thinking."

"There are no garden hoses at the Castle of Bizdom," Bore-ison said. "That's why the lawn is dead."

"It sounds like you have a magical evening planned," the Biz said. "But before you go, do you know who our favorite wrestler is?"

Adamle's face grew panicked before he screwed his eyes closed. "Mr. Fuji?" he asked.

Biz and Bore-ison laughed. "No," they said, "Adorable Adrian Adonis!" They kissed him on his cheeks before shoving him out of the picture.

"In life," Bore-ison said, "there are winners-" A picture of London and Kendrick holding the tag team titles flashed onto the screen. "And losers." Shots of the Miz and John Morrison with the word Loser stamped on them appeared.

"We are the ECW tag team champions," the Biz finished. "Be jealous."

_____________________________________________________________

The second is from October 21 and is the infamous date between the Miz and Mike Adamle:

---Suddenly the video screen lit up with a title card that read "Part One, the Pickup."

Miz was pacing on the sidewalk. He was dressed normally - in jeans, a Chick Magnet t-shirt, and a hat. A limo pulled up and the driver opened the door. Miz peeked inside and smiled.

"No Adamle and there's a wet bar," he judged. "Things are looking up." Miz climbed inside, the driver closed the door, and the car drove away as we went to commercial.

---The video lit up again with the title "Part 2 - Dinner."

Miz walked into a restaurant and discovered Adamle waiting for him. Adamle was wearing a blue suit that looked like, well, probably was this one:

"Miz the Mike!" Adamle said with a wide smile on his face. "It's so wonderful to see you!"

"Whatever," Miz said as he plopped down in his chair. "Let's just get this over with."

Adamle smiled wider as he showed Miz the menu. "I hear the oysters are wonderful here," he said with a wink.

Miz handed his menu to the waiter. "Bring me booze. I don't care what kind. Just keep it coming." He glanced at Adamle and shivered as we went to commercial.

---The screen lit up with "Part Three, After Dinner."

Miz was staggering out of the restaurant with a bottle in his hand, obviously drunk. Behind him, Adamle was still apologizing to the manager who was throwing them out.

Adamle came back up to Miz as the driver opened the car door. "I wish you wouldn't drink so much," he said.

"Don't judge me!" Miz slurred as he climbed into the car.

Adamle shook his head as he climbed in as well.

The car had barely started rolling before we heard someone vomiting and Adamle shrieked, "my new suit!" Adamle sighed again. "You've got that nastyness all over you. Let's get that shirt off to try and clean you up."

"Clean this up!" came the reply as the car screeched to a halt. Moments later, a naked (and thankfully blurred) Miz climbed out of the sunroof and began running down the street.

Adamle peeked his head out the sunroof. "Call me!" he called as we went to the final commercial.