J-Rod

The look on Dan's face was fucking PRICELESS whenever he seen Michelle and Stuart go at it.

And as if the whole Dan and Jason thing couldn't get any weirder, he licked chocolate off his ass and then to make things worse I got sick when Stuart kissed that Nadia man.

Do you think Michelle and Stu really did it?

This shit with Dan and Jason is getting too weird, even for me.

BTW did anyone see BBLB today. They've found out that Jason made up that shit about winning that best ass competition of Stirling or whatever. I can't believe he's low enough to make up something as stupid as that!

Kitten should just go and die some where.

Modern Times - 9/10

One of Chaplin's best films.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - 10/10

Four words; Barry + Gary = Funny shit

I was too scared after it to go to bed, but then I seen it was fake so it was alright. Wicked show as well, and yes why didn't they show the CCTV footage of the boy in the straps.

Kitten's rein of terror continues. She started painting on the walls and then started arguing with the other housemates and stormed off crying, and then Marco and Emma started arguing with Ahmed over asylium rights etc.

This show just keeps getting better and better.

I have just witnessed an absolute classic.

Jason gave Ahmed some tips on how to get noticed in the house. Ahmed said that Marco really got on his nerves.

''Well tell him that then''

''Ok''

Ahmed then went outside and told Marco to piss off and stop treating him like some disease! Classic! Good for Ahmed, I sort of felt sorry for him in there.

Shell's ass

DAY 5

Frustrated by the wet weather and hell bent on breaking the rules, Kitten and Emma have been rudely decorating a garden statue, in an attempt to annoy Big Brother.

It'll be an ideal way to "p**s off [big Brother]", insisted Kitten.

Never ones to procrastinate, the duo proceeded on dragging the female sculpture indoors, and Emma proceeded to set about attempting to tie a rubber appendage onto the figurine's crotch.

However, when it refused to sit properly on the statue's pelvis, the pair changed their plan, and instead stood the phallic item on top of the female statue's head.

Dragging her to the Diary Room door, the giggling girls pressed the buzzer that tells Big Brother that someone wishes to chat.

Unsurprisingly, Big Brother chose to ignore the statue's call to conversation, but the pair managed to smuggle her in when Daniel exited the room after a chat sometime later.

Reprimands were - once again - issued.

Why don't the Kitten and the Chipmunk just piss off somewhere!

I love both Man. Utd and Ireland, but I would have to say Ireland.

Liverpool vs. Middlesboro

Atmosphere 8/10: Felt that Middlesboro fans sung louder than Liverpool fans. (I'm a Man Utd supporter by the way)

Quality of Football: 6/10: Bit messy, both sides gave away the ball alot.

Overall: I may have been a neutral supporter but I still enjoyed my day out. 9/10

I've a £10 bet on Italy and a £5 bet on Holland. Me and my friends all had a big sweepstake.

David Beckham, simple as that.

As much as I hate saying it, I think it has come to the end of the road for Ole Gunnar Sojskjaer. He's a great player but with Louis Saha and Alan Smith to compete with I think he should leave and go to Celtic.

BTW any more news on Heinze

Victor is the fucking man. I laughed my ass off at his reaction whenever Kitten arrived. It was so damn funny.

When did Shell strip!?! I can't believe I missed that!

They'd better show it tonight or someone is gonna pay.

That Kitten is SO annoying.

"Maybe because they feel intimadated by my presence"

No Kitty Kat because you're a fucking arrogant bitch that's way they all voted for you.

Victor to win!!!

He said he would lie, cheat and steal to win!! Get in!

I hate Marco what a fruit. The wannabe model is the best looking.