deanitude

I don't see how it's possible for any team to be worse than Derby. They could all just sit on the half way line having a picnic and still scrounge together at least 12 points.

Dave Whelan has always been somewhat of a lunatic. But I can't argue with his approach to season tickets. It costs £250 for the vast majority of Wigan season tickets (unless you go all out for the big expensive stuff) which exactly about £12.50 a game or something.

My local team charges £13. And they don't have Mido.

Manchester United season tickets cost me a kidney and half of my liver... so here's to Mr. Whelan (hopefully) starting a trend.

I put a tenner on Newcastle to go down... do me proud lads. You've played crap all season, why change now?

I can just see the MOTD re-cap now... Newcastle, staring a goal-less draw in the face in the 3rd minute of injury time, get a penalty... Shearer puts himself on to take it and... misses.

Now wouldn't that be a truly perfect moment.

Shame it has absolutely zero chance of happening... but still. I can dream.

Still... if they go down I wouldn't mind taking Bassong off their hands. Or... no wait... that's about the only half-decent player they have. And I'm almost positive he was bought by accident. I reckon Mike Ashley just wanted Boumsong back, but Dennis Wise couldn't spell it.

I like it... but the big question is... what do you guys think?

Be gentle with me.

July 20th iMPACT

Only on Spike TV

Following an amazing night of thrills and spills on Sunday, just what is going to happen?

Many questions remain unanswered...

What occured between Raven and Chris Jericho at the climax of Victory Road?

What happened to Sting? Did Joe really kill someone on Sunday night?

Who will be Samoa Joe's next victim?

Just what is the relationship between 'Father' James Mitchell, Austin Aries, Roderick Strong, Abyss, and TNA X-Division Champion Senshi?

...will we get those answers tonight?

Perhaps the most intriguing story going into Thursday's iMPACT presentation is that ALEX SHELLEY has revealed that he is unhappy about his treatment over the past couple of weeks, and is threatening to sue both Jim Cornette and TNA unless his demands are met!

How will Mr. Cornette, and the TNA locker-room, react to Shelley's possible lawsuit?

The fall-out from VICTORY ROAD will most definitely be felt tonight as four huge matches have been signed following the PPV.

X-Division Championship Match

Roderick Strong vs. Senshi ©

With these two men seemingly alligned, along with 'Father' James Mitchell, 'The Monster' Abyss and Austin Aries; just how are they supposed to fight one another.

One thing is for sure, no matter who wins... the title will stay within that group.

Tables Match

Team 3D vs. Alex Shelley

Following Alex Shelley's failure to become number one contender for the X-Division Championship; Shelley must now face both members of Team 3D in a handicap Tables Match.

How will Shelley survive, and just what will Team 3D do to him?

Rhino vs Abyss

These two men have collided before, with disastrous results, who will be standing tall and gaining a huge win on the road towards Hard Justice? Just how much of a factor is James Mitchell?

Austin Aries vs Christopher Daniels

Christopher Daniels was brutally assaulted following his defeat in the X-Division Championship match at Victory Road. Following the match, and the subsequent trip to hospital, Daniels demanded a one on one match with any of the attackers. TNA Director of Authority, Jim Cornette, had no choice but to book Daniels to face Austin Aries... without medical clearance. Will Daniels be in one piece? And will he be able to gain some measure of revenge?

Also; TNAWrestling.com has just recieved word that none other than CHRIS JERICHO has been booked to appear on ShellShock TV. Just what will the former WWE and WCW World Heavyweight Champion have to say regading TNA, Raven, and the NWA World Heavyweight Championship.

Damn you ruining my 'Jericho raped Raven' angle.

And hey... I didn't screw The Aztec Warrior... The Aztec Warrior screwed The Aztec Warrior.

p.s I hate Ken Shamrock, I do.

Anyhooo... here's your (YES YOUR) iMPACT card.

July 15th iMPACT tapings

X-Division Championship Match

Roderick Strong vs. Senshi ©

Tables Match made by Jim Cornette

Team 3D vs Alex Shelley

Rhino vs Abyss

Austin Aries vs Christopher Daniels

ShellShock TV: Chris Jericho

Prediction game

NWA World Heavyweight Championship

Raven © vs. ‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage vs. ‘King of the Mountain’ Jeff Jarrett

TNA X-Division Championship

Senshi © vs. ‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels

No Holds Barred Grudge Match

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe vs. Sting

Open Contract Match

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown vs. Ken Shamrock

Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles Ultimo Dragon

X-Division Rankings Match

(Alex Shelley must have one hand tied behind his back)

Alex Shelley vs. Roderick Strong vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin

1.

a. X-Division Ranking Match

b. Aries vs Dragon

c. Daniels vs Senshi

d. Brown vs Shamrock

e. Joe vs Sting

f. Jarrett vs Cage vs Raven

2. None.

3. Ken Shamrock

4. Ultimo Dragon

5. After the main event.

Throxx: 1

The Aztec Warrior: 10

Inner D Monz: 8

Gareth 7: 13

Gareth 7 wins the prize and gets to book the X-Division Championship match for the next PPV.

Message me to collect your prize.

Congratulations

-----------------------

They showed replay after replay of the big points in the match as I was distracted by a commotion outside my office.

I got up off my couch and walked to my door to see what the hell was going on. I looked around and sure enough, there was Sophie… being held against a nearby wall by none other than Ken Shamrock? What the hell. I walked towards them as I heard Shamrock speak.

Ken Shamrock: “You said I’d get ten minutes, not four!”

I could sense the fear in Sophie’s voice as she stumbled over her words.

“B-But… I don’t decide that. That’s n-not my job. I’m just personnel.”

Shamrock seemed to tighten his grip on Sophie’s throat as I became angry.

“Let go of her!”

Shamrock didn’t even bother to turn towards me

Ken Shamrock: “If you know what’s good for you kid… you’ll get out of here.”

I took a few steps forward and grabbed Shamrock’s arm… pulling him off Sophie.

“I said get off…”

I was interrupted mid-sentence as a fist flew at me and hit me directly in my jaw… knocking me off my feet.

Shamrock has just punched me.

I climbed slowly back to my feet ready to fight him. Me… fighting a UFC fighter? I bet you can guess how that went. Three punches later and I was back down… bloodied and hurt.

Shamrock was just about to finish the job when Alex Shelley and Abyss came to my aid… standing between me and Ken.

Shamrock spat at me and then walked away as I fell into unconsciousness

…

I awoke in my hotel room and looked at my bedside clock. It was 3am.

Shit… I’d missed the PPV.

I got out of bed, still sore from the Shamrock incident… and grasped around blindly for the light switch before finding it and clicking on the light.

I allowed a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the light before looking around the room… spotting the mirror, I walked towards it and braced myself.

It wasn’t a pretty image. A black eye, a cut lip and a small trail of dried blood coming from my nose. He’d hit me pretty hard… no doubt.

An unprovoked attack by an asshole.

I hate Ken Shamrock, I do.

I glanced around the room and spotted a note stuck to my TV. It was signed by Sophie.

“Hey Champ! Thanks for everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING… I managed to get you a copy of the PPV on tape. Enjoy. Soph xx.”

I managed to smile through the pain and grabbed my TV remote… I was a professional and had a show to watch.

------------------------------

Match 5: Falls Count Anywhere Grudge Match

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

We cut to the announce position where TWS are discussing the upcoming Joe/Sting match.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “This is perhaps the biggest threat Joe has faced as of yet in TNA.”

‘DW’ Don West: “He pushed Sting over the edge… and now he’s gonna pay.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Sting is just another bump in the road for Joe. A face paint wearing, baseball bat dropping, trenchcoat wearing bump… that’s all he is… and Joe is gonna kill him.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “His trademark black and white face paint… his trademark shouts… he is the man they call Sting.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “He’s like the bastard son of Ric Flair and a Zebra. Woooo!”

Eyes roll as we preview the match with a specially made video… documenting Joe and Sting’s feeling towards each other. Joe is sat in the locker-room, while Sting is barely visible in the shadows of another separate room. The camera continues to flick back and for the between them. Kind of like the video for Joe/Steiner.

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You’re a legend?”

Sting: “I’m a mystery.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You’re an icon?”

Sting: “I’m an enigma.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You sit up there in the rafters and I’m supposed to be scared.”

Sting: “Don’t fear the reaper.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You don’t scare me son, you’re nothing but some washed up hack taking all my TV time.”

Sting: “Washed up... I like that. We’re all going to be washed up one day Joseph.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You put on your face paint like you’re some sort of clown…”

Sting: “I’m just a man out for redemption.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “I’m gonna choke you out and then I’m going to toss your carcass out for the crows.”

Sting: “Ah… the crows.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “Everywhere I go… you’re there... I’m gonna put a stop to that. This ends tonight.”

Sting knocks on the wall.

Sting: “Suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. You heard me rapping, right Joseph?”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You need professional help son… unfortunately you’re not gonna get that help.”

Sting: “It's not a good day to be a bad guy.”

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe: “You’re gonna get choked the (BEEP) out... and become the next victim of ‘The Samoan Submission Machine.’”

A close-up on Sting as he cracks a smile.

Sting: “Victims... aren’t we all?”

Awesome, awesome promo for the match. This should have been on Impact.

Suddenly a loud crash came over the PA system and Joe appears at the top of the ramp, smirking and looking extremely confident. He walks calmly to the ring and enters it slowly, before stretching using the ropes.

A violin based piece of music (sounding exactly like his Crow Theme from WCW… don’t sue us WWE) comes from the PA system as the arena darkens and we await the arrival of Sting.

Everyone, including Joe, looks up to the rafter for Sting… but Sting fools them all and appears behind Joe. An in-screen replay showed him appear from beneath the ring before climbing into it.

The light come up and we’re off.

Joe continues to look up at the rafters as Sting stands silently behind him smiling. Finally he sighs; taps Joe on the shoulder and the fight is underway.

Sting blocks some Samoa Joe punches and nails Joe with some of his own, sending Joe reeling. Joe gets backed into a corner and rolls out of the ring as Sting dives over the top rope at him! Viva la Stinger! Sting is showing real fire here! Sting picks up Joe and throws him towards the ring steps… but Joe reverses and Sting goes flying headfirst into them. Opening up a cut… hard-way. Joe smells blood and hits some punches to the forehead of Sting… really opening up the cut. Hey, if you got it… work with it. Joe pulls out some garbage from under the ring and slams Sting down onto a trash can, making a crunching sound and looking seriously impressive. Joe picks up Sting and nails him with another slam onto the trash can, which now is flat as a pancake... ouch.

Sting once again climbs back to his feet and begins smiling, with the contrast of the black & white face paint and the blood running down his face... this is an awesome image.

Joe stares blankly at Sting, seemingly in shock as Sting begins shouting at him to finish the job. Joe snarls and runs at Sting, who kicks him in the gut and picks up the flattened trash can. He waits for Joe to straighten up before smacking it onto his head. Joe stumbles but doesn’t go down, so Sting continues to hit him… ten shots in all with the fans counting along with the hits. After the tenth hit… TIMBERRRRRRRR. Thud. Joe is down. But Sting refuses to cover him.

Sting stands waiting for Joe to get to his feet. Sting is continually smiling and brings a gloves hand to his head… feeling the blood. He licks the blood from his glove and smiles. Joe gets up and Sting gives him a free shot, allowing Joe to connect with a right hand. Sting smiles and allows Joe another hit, Joe however has other ideas and kicks Sting in the ‘lower extremities’. Cheat! Joe now begins laughing and hits a quick (and sick) piledriver on Sting. Joe covers and gets a one count. A one count? From a piledriver to the floor? Ok.

Joe can’t believe it as Sting climbs back to his feet and holds his hands out, goading Joe to attack him again. Joe charges at Sting with a clothesline and flattens him again, but Sting stands right back up.

Joe shakes his head in confusion… how is he still standing?

Joe grabs a steel chair and attempt to smack Sting with it, but Sting has moved? Where did he go? Joe looks up at the big screen as it appears that Sting went under the ring.

Joe is a bit hesitant to go in after him and so just lifts the apron and looks underneath. He can’t see anything and so shrugs… and heads under.

A few seconds pass before Sting(!!!) appears from under the opposite side of the apron smiling, he brings a chair with him and carries it into the ring. He sets up the chair in the middle of the ring and sits on it. Waiting for Joe to come out.

About a minute passes before Joe appears from under the ring. When he sees Sting sitting in the ring, he goes into a rage, charging into the ring at Sting… who calmly moves and watches as Joe flies straight into the ring.

Sting turns away from Joe and shrugs as the camera focuses on something on Joe’s hand… looks sort of shiny?

Sting heads over to grab Joe and is hit with a hard (HARD) right hand. He stumbles but doesn’t go down. Joe nails him again with the right hand and he stumbles farther. Sting seems to be dazed, but doesn’t go down. Joe snarls and this time just SMACKS Sting with a huge right hand which send him back into the corner.

Joe smirks and grabs his right hand, pulling something from his glove and throwing it on the mat.

The camera zooms in and we see a pair of BRASS KNUX! Joe hit Sting with Knux and he didn’t even go down.

Joe has no time for games and places Sting on the top rope, hooking him in the Muscle Buster position and walking around with him in the ring, as Sting’s blood begins to flow down Joe’s chest… before dropping him onto the chair that Sting set up earlier!

Muscle Buster through the chair!

Joe spits at Sting and locks him in the Kokina clutch.

Sting isn’t moving and the ref calls for the bell.

Winner: Samoa Joe via referee stoppage after 19:34

Rating: *** Great match, but seemed to be lacking something. Like they’re only building towards another match.

After the match, Joe refuses to release Sting as something descends from the ceiling. It’s large and appears to be covered in a black tarp.

Joe releases the hold as the object gets close to the ring, before reaching over and pulling off the tarp. It’s a huge Crow Symbol?!

Joe begins to laugh as he picks up the lifeless body of Sting and begins to attach him to the symbol?

Joe finishes attaching Sting to the symbol and turns away, wiping his blood covered hands on his chest. Joe is covered in Sting’s blood.

Suddenly, Sting’s eyes bolt open and he begins maniacally laughing. Looking directly at Joe.

Joe grabs a control from a stage hand and pushes a button… and the symbol begins to ascend?!

It goes up into the darkness of the ceiling before a huge fireball erupts from it and torches the entire structure in one quick motion… medics and backstage workers rush up to the rafters with fire extinguishers. They put out the flames… but Sting is nowhere to be seen.

Joe looks up at the smouldering symbol and smirks before grabbing the trench coat that Sting was wearing before he stepped in the ring and wiping his bloody hands on it as we cut to a quick promo for TNA Merchandise.

The Sting/Joe feud just entered Undertaker/Austin territory. Is that a good thing? Who knows. I’m sure they’ll come up with a logical explanation for how Sting escaped the fire… if he even did. Spontaneous combustion is a bitch.

----------------------

I had to admit, the match was great… but the after-match stuff was a bit WWE’ish for my tastes… depends on what it leads to I suppose.

I still mark out for Sting though.

I had barely registered what had just happened with Sting and Joe when I noticed that the main event was about to begin… and all three competitors were already in the ring. Seems like they’re gonna do the introductions in the ring… like boxing or UFC. Nice touch.

----------------------

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Now we move onto the main event… three men, one title. Who will leave Victory Road as the champion?”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Tony Montana versus Bret Hart Junior versus My Hero. I predict a Jarrett victory.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Jarrett is the former champion, but Cage truly believes, as do I, that he was screwed out of the belt.”

‘DW’ Don West: “It seems to me that Raven and Cage will do anything to ensure that the belt doesn’t leave with Jeff Jarrett.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Let’s not forget that Chris Jericho has been somewhat interested in the NWA Heavyweight title over recent weeks. Will he make an appearance here tonight?”

Main Event: NWA World Heavyweight Championship

Three Way Elimination Match

Raven © vs. Christian Cage vs. Jeff Jarrett

Our ring-announcer for this match is none other than ‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “Ladies and gentlemen… it is now time for the main event of TNA’s Victory Road!”

The crowd cheer… pssh, sheep.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “The following match is a three-way NO DISQUALIFICATION match and is elimination rules… for the NWA Heavyweight Championship of the world!”

More cheering. Bah bah little sheep.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “Introducing first, a man who many say never actually lost the belt, born in Orangeville, Ontario… now fighting out of Tampa, Florida… he weighed in this morning at two hundred twenty seven pounds… former NWA Heavyweight Champion… ‘Captain Charisma’ CHRISTIAN CAAAAAAAAAGE!”

Cheer, cheer, some boos… mostly screaming girls.

Christian stands impassive, just staring at the belt which is held in the hands of Rudy Charles.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “Hailing from Nashville, Tennessee… he weighed in this morning at two hundred thirty pounds… former NWA Heavyweight Champion and ‘King of the Mountain’… Jeff Jaaaaaarreeeett.”

Jarrett climbed up a turnbuckle and flipped off some boo’ing fans.

Borash now turns to the champion who is sitting down in one of the corners.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “And finally… born is Short Hills, New Jersey… and fighting out of Atlanta, Georgia… he weighed in this morning at two hundred forty four pounds… he is YOUR NWA WOOOOORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… RAAAAAAAAAAVEN!”

Extremely loud cheers as Raven slowly gets to his feet and the referee shows the belt to both his opponents.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “Rules of the match are simple, one man must remain on the apron at all times, until tagged in or elimination occurs. After the first elimination, the match will continue with the two remaining men until we have a winner. Ladies and gentlemen… it’s ShowTime!”

Somewhere… Sting is rolling in his fiery grave.

Rudy Charles makes Cage stand on the apron so we’ll start with Jarrett and Raven… the former champ and the current champ. At least these two have a bit more charisma than the earlier starting two in the X-Division elimination match… remember them? Ha-ha.

Jarrett and Raven lock-up in the centre of the ring and Raven begins to overpower Jarrett… who doesn’t like that and so hits a knee to Raven’s gut. Textbook. Yep. Textbook. Jarrett begins a series of generic punching (well come on… what did you expect from Jarrett?) and we have our first real wrestling move of the match as Jarrett connects with an armdrag… and then another… before locking on an armbar. Jarrett thinks he’s Shamrock… well, they’re both dicks.

Jarrett’s suplex attempt is reversed by Raven who instead hits a suplex of his own. Jarrett is down and Raven bounces off the ropes for a move… but we’ll never know what that move was as Cage tagged himself in.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “I cant understand why Cage is wanting to get in the ring… the correct strategy would be to wait until Raven and Jarrett beat the hell out of each other. Well… that’s what I’d do.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Cage’s hate fro Jarrett is so large that it seems to be clouding his judgment.”

Christian runs at Jarrett and drops an elbow on his back, followed by two more. Jarrett slowly gets back to his feet where he’s met with a big dropkick by Christian. Getting Kobe Bryant-like air on the move. Who says white men cant jump? Cage covers for a one count.

‘Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Only a one count from Cage.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “It’s gonna take more than a dropkick to put down Jarrett.”

Cage picks up Jarrett and whips him to the ropes, but Jarrett manages to stop himself and catches a charging Christian with a back body drop over the top rope to the floor below. Yowza. Jarrett rolls outside and begins pounding on Christian as Raven grabs some nearby weaponry from around the ring and places it in the ring. After-all… this is No-DQ. Meanwhile… Jarrett rolls Christian back in the ring and brings the crushed trash can… still covered in the blood of Sting… into the ring with him.

Jarrett grabs Cage and splatters him with the crushed trash can, sawing into his scalp with the sharp edge. Cage screams in pain and collapses to the mat holding his head. Jarrett loves it.

Jeff picks up the fallen Christian and hits him with a suplex on the trash can before going over to Raven’s corner and tagging him in. Raven shrugs and climbs into the ring… bringing with him a hockey stick and a saltshaker?!

Raven waits for Christian to stand before breaking the saltshaker over his head. That’s gonna leave a mark. Christian goes down and the cameras focus on Raven, giving Christian enough time to blade. See… the magic of TV ruined by Dean.

Christian is back up to his knees and is cut on his scalp… Raven lines him up for a running kick… but stops just inches away and instead pours salt onto the head-wound of Christian! That’s just… genius. Raven is awesome.

Christian stands up and runs around the ring holding his head… in obvious agony… unfortunately he runs into an EvenFlow DDT.

And… he’s goooooone.

Elimination: Christian Cage via pinfall after 10:00

It’s down to Jarrett/Raven.

Raven smiles as Jarrett enters the ring carrying a Singapore Cane… or Kendo Stick if you prefer. Either way… it’s a big wooden thing to hit people with. Raven waits for Jarrett to swing before grabbing the stick and sweeping Jarrett’s feet out from under him. Like something from ‘Kingdom of Heaven’ or… Star Wars. Some film with sword stuff anyway.

Raven chokes Jarrett with the Cane… pressing his shoulders down to the mat for a two count before Jarrett manages to push the cane away from his throat. Jarrett manages to deliver a knee to the testicles of Raven before they both lie breathless (for different reasons) on the mat.

The referee begins to count and gets to seven before Jarrett and Raven climb to their feet. They exchange punches before Jarrett whips Raven to the ropes and catches him… with a SLEEPER?! Fuck. Who wants to see a sleeper in this day and age? 2006 to Jeff Jarrett… come in Jeff.

Raven is our saviour! He reverses the sleeper into the Indy ejaculation inducing BACKDROP DRIVER! Ouch. That looked harsh. Jarrett just got his back-drop… erm.. drived. Yeah, whatever. Bite me. Raven covers for a… yep… you guessed it… 2 count. Thankfully the sign carrying ‘2’ jack-off is no longer wishing to hold up his sign. Good.

Raven catches Jarrett charging at him with a nice belly to belly suplex. Another cover and another two count. Stop kicking out Jarrett!

Raven climbs out of the ring and re-enters with his NWA belt and Jim Cornette’s tennis racket?

Raven lays the belt down on the mat and tucks the racket in the back of his trunks. As Jarrett slowly gets to his feet to see Raven charging at him with a running kneelift.

TNA: The Place Where Knees Are Lifted.

Raven hooks Jarrett for a suplex, but blocks it… drops to his knees and low blows Raven. Cheating! You sir… are a cheat!

Raven drops to his knees as Jarrett spots the NWA belt lying on the mat.

Jarrett cracks a smile as he picks up the NWA belt and waits for Raven to stand.

Raven stands and Jarrett charges at him with the belt.

Just as Jarrett is about to hit Raven, we see Raven reach to the racket tucked in his trunks and use it to deflect the belt shot.

Jarrett stands seething as Raven holds up the now snapped racket and shrugs.

Jarrett lifts the NWA belt once again… but this time, Raven throws the broken racket at him. Jarrett drops the belt and catches the racket.

Bad move Jeff… he catches the racket and also immediately catches an EvenFlow DDT onto the belt. The same way he lost it first time round.

Ring that bell.

Winner: And still NWA World Heavyweight Champion RAVEN via pinfall in 23:00

Rating: *** ½ Good match, lacked that little bit extra.

The PPV goes off the air as Raven stands in the centre of a warzone… still NWA champion.

Or does it?

Raven poses as suddenly the canvas behind him rips open and Chris Jericho(!!!??!!!) emerges from beneath the ring... pulling Raven down through the hole.

What's gonna happen?

Looks like we'll have to wait until Impact to find out!

Y'all only paid for the 3 hours!

[Well that’s it… hope you enjoyed the PPV… I enjoyed writing it]

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED.

------------------

Sophie seemed disappointed.

“That’s it? Just six minutes?”

I shrugged.

“The first match went five minutes over time… it was just basically an Aries push match anyway.”

Sophie shook her head.

“I don’t agree with it… but at least it wasn’t a complete squash.”

I laughed.

“Don’t worry Soph… AJ will be back soon.”

------------------

I turned back to the screen where Jim Cornette was standing backstage with a very intense looking Raven. It seems like we’re inside the office of Jim Cornette, who is wearing his trademark grey suit. Raven, on the other hand, is already in his ring gear, boots, kneepads, tartan skirt thing and is busy taping his hands.

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “You wanted to see me?”

Raven smirks.

Raven: “Tonight… my match is an elimination match. Correct?”

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “Yeah?”

Raven: “That means both my opponents have to be pinned?”

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “Or submit…”

Raven: “No disqualifications?”

Cornette smiled.

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “No disqualifications.”

Raven rubbed his chin and grabbed his belt from a nearby table.

Raven: “Interesting…”

Raven walks off as Cornette stands there looking confused.

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “Have fun.”

Raven suddenly reappears and reaches down behind Cornette’s desk. He grabs something and walks back over to Jim. Holding up Cornette’s TENNIS RACKET?!

Raven smirks at Cornette.

Raven: “I’m borrowing this…”

Raven once again walks off as Cornette puts his hands on his hips and frowns.

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “Great… now I need a new racket.”

------------------

I saw Chris walk past my room and jumped out of my seat to catch him up and wish him luck as he headed out to the ring.

Now we’ll see just how good the X-Division can be.

------------------

Match 3: X-Division Championship Match

Christopher Daniels vs. Senshi ©

‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels is first out and he appears at the top of the ramp wearing his hooded robe. He flips back the hood and looks around at the audience before continuing his walk to the ring. He climbs up on the apron and removes his robe when his music dies down and Senshi’s begins.

Senshi walks out slowly, he’s grown his hair out a bit and is wearing a nice 5 o’clock shadow. He looks truly evil. It’s a good look. He’s wearing his white baggy tights and has his title around his waist. He climbs into the ring and hands his belt to the ref as Daniels continues to acknowledge the fans. Error! Error! Senshi creeps over to where Daniels is standing on the turnbuckle facing the fans and smacks him across the back with a kick. Let the kicking begin! Daniels falls backwards and to his knees as Senshi’s relentless kicking continues. Damn. Daniels’ back is turning red as he screams with pain. That is how you sell a kick.

Senshi suddenly stops kicking Daniels’ back and motions for the crowd to be quiet. Shut up TNA crowd! Senshi then smacks Daniels… IN THE FACE… with a horrific looking kick. The crowd begin the usual ‘Holy Shit!’ chant. Jeeeez. Holy shit is right. Senshi just nearly decapitated Daniels’. We replay it in slow-motion as Senshi’s foot makes contact with Daniels’ forehead with an audible thud. Damn. I now have even more respect for Chris Daniels.

Senshi picks up Daniels’ and hook him for a Senshi-Krusher. Daniels however breaks out of it and begins laying into Senshi with kicks of his own. KickFest 2006. Daniels’ replays the favour by taking Senshi down to his knees with kicks before nailing him with a kick to the head. Payback is a bitch. Once again, we get a slow motion replay as Sanders declares that Senshi and Daniels should have been picked for the American World Cup Soccer team.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “If Bruce Arena had selected Daniels and Senshi instead of guys like Brian McBride and Landon Donovan… we might have actually done something. Instead of being Italy’s bitch.”

I love Mike Sanders.

Senshi is down and out as Daniels goes for the BME. Best. Moonsault. Ever. But it seems like Senshi has been watching tapes… and not of the porn variety… as he has Daniels’ offence perfectly scouted and lifts his knees to crush some ‘Fallen Angel’ ribs. If kicks fail… just have your opponent throw himself onto your knees. That’ll work.

Daniels is in agony on the mat clutching his ribs as Senshi stands up and laughs. You definitely do not want injured ribs when you are facing Senshi. People never learn. Daniels should take advice from UFC president Dana White ‘never let your opponent know that you’re injured’.

Daniels rolls over to his stomach and raises up onto his hands and knees… very bad move Chris.

SMACK!

There’s some more broken ribs after a vicious (el viciouso) toe kick to the ribs by Senshi. Daniels is down and gasping for breath… he looks remarkably like a big, sweaty, bald fish out of water.

Senshi picks Daniels up and hit him with a series of kicks to the head and rib area before hooking him up and crushing him with the Senshi-Krusher. That’ll be the match over then.

1....2...

Senshi releases the pin?

Idiot.

Ah… now he’s climbing the turnbuckles.

DOUBLE STOMP!

The crowd loves it.

Daniels… doesn’t love it so much.

And THAT is the match.

Winner: Senshi via pinfall in 8:26

Rating: *** ½ Great back and forth action, HARD kicks and a believable ending.

After the match, Senshi picks up his belt as Mitchell, Abyss, Aries and Strong walk down to the ring.

They attempt to execute another beat-down on Daniels… but Senshi stops them?

Aries gets right in the face of Senshi as Abyss and Strong creep up behind them… look out Senshi!

Senshi spots Abyss and Strong and now is completely surrounded. What does he do?

He takes a martial arts stance, moves his arm back and…

SHAKES HANDS WITH ARIES?!

He now turns to shake hands with Strong… slapping Abyss on the chest. And nodding towards ‘Father’ James Mitchell.

What the hell is going on?

Senshi directs traffic as Abyss grabs Daniels’ arms, Strong/Aries each grab a leg and hold Daniels up about 4 feet above the canvas.

Mitchell strolls over with a steel chair and places it on the prone body of Daniels as Senshi once again ascends to the top rope.

Tenay and West scream for someone to stop it… but there’s nobody to stop it as Senshi dives off the rope with another crushing Double Stomp!

Holy Shit!

In what will undoubtedly be used to sell this PPV’s replays… Senshi dived off the rope and delivered a Double Stomp… on a chair… straight through Daniels.

It was like something one of the Spirit Squad has a wet dream about.

Awesome move. Added to by the fact that Senshi now sells an injured foot and has to be carried to the back by Abyss as Daniels is attended to by agents and refs. A stretcher comes out to carry Daniels to the back as Tenay and West debate the future of Daniels.

‘DW’ Don West: “Ladies and gentlemen… Christopher Daniels may be very badly injured after that heinous 4 on 1 attack by those jackals.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “A 4 on 1 Double Stomp through a chair on a prone Christopher Daniels… made even worse by the fact that Daniels was being held up by Abyss, Aries and Strong… just terrible.”

‘DW’ Don West: “At first we believed Senshi was going to prevent the attack on Daniels, but then he actually joined forces with these… these…”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “These opportunists… think about it for a second… Styles is out… Daniels is definitely out… the tag titles are completely unprotected. Cornette needs to make a decision on those belts. Senshi is on a roll.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Up next… we have the open contract match in which Monty Brown will face a soon to be announced opponent.”

-----------------

The video began rolling to recap the X-Division title match and preview the Monty Brown Invitational… as I turned towards Sophie.

“What did you think?”

She seemed impressed.

“It’s a great angle… an X-Division stable… but how did you get Abyss in there?”

I shrugged.

“Jeff needed to keep him on the show until they find him something to do, I suggested putting him with the X-Division group I was putting together… I think he’s a good fit… plus it lets Jim do the promos for the other guys.”

Sophie left the room to go congratulate the guys… but I had a PPV to finish watching. Jeff still hadn’t let on who the opponent for Monty was… but we all had a pretty good guess.

------------------

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown made his way to the ring as TWS wondered who his opponent would be.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “It could be anyone… from anywhere. 4-sided ring, 6-sided ring… 8-sided ring… anyone at all.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “We all saw the cryptic message given to Brown on Impact… but who will he face?”

Tenay wasn’t in the dark long as a generic guitar song echoed around the building and UFC Legend KEN SHAMROCK appeared at the top of the ramp!

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Shamrock! Ken Shamrock! The first World Champion of the TNA era! The UFC legend! Fresh off a defeat at UFC 61: Bitter Rivals!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Fresh off and ass kicking from Tito Ortiz.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Don’t let Shamrock here you say that.”

Sanders shrugged.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Why? What’s he gonna do? Snap?! Break my ankle? Please. I’m tight with Tito… Ken wouldn’t dare touch me.”

Shamrock entered the ring and circled ‘The Alpha Male’ who seemed shocked and confused at who his opponent was.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Brown looks… scared!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “He’s not scared Tenay! He’s just got a case of trapped gas. It’ll clear up.”

The ref rings the bell and we know that Monty Brown matches don’t tend to go long… neither do Shamrock matches for that matter.

Match 4: Open Contract Match

Monty Brown vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock takes a headbutt from Monty Brown but just stands there. Someone forgot to tell Brown that Shamrock isn’t Jay Lethal. This will be no 20 second slaughter. Brown attempts a short arm clothesline but Shamrock reverses it into an Armbar… and Monty grabs the ropes. Shamrock releases and smiles, before Brown attempts another clothesline and gets caught this time in a Kimura or straight arm Key Lock. Brown again grabs the ropes and roars… he seems pissed. Brown attempts a bodyslam but Ken drops out of the back of it and applies a choke.

Because this aint UFC… the ref gives Ken the 5 count… and he releases the hold.

Shamrock picks up a disoriented Brown and snap suplexes him…. Nearly out of his lovely black boots. Brown gets to his feet and tries a straight punch, but is caught in an Armbar takedown from Ken Shamrock. If he did this crap against Tito at UFC 61 instead of being a bitch… I wouldn’t hate him so much. I’m a Tito mark though. Brown breaks the hold and attempts a suplex of his own… his Alpha jaw is smushed with a big knee to the face. Damn. Shamrock is going in stiff.

Brown powers out of a headlock and throws Shamrock against the ropes, catching him on the way back with a huge POUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCE-uh (period).

It only takes one, baby.

Ring that bell.

Winner: Monty Brown via pinfall in 4:10

Rating: N/A This match was purely a vehicle with which to get over Brown. Shamrock looked pissed throughout.

It was just over twenty minutes later when Scott entered my office… he seemed to be in a bit of a rush so he just stood in the doorway as he spoke.

‘The Coach’ Scott D’Amore: “Ok Dean. We’re kicking this thing off in a little less than ten minutes. You got your copy of the line-up?”

I held up my piece of paper with the matches on.

‘The Coach’ Scott D’Amore: “Good. You got the booking sheets?”

I picked up several sheets of paper from my table. All stapled and neat.

‘The Coach’ Scott D’Amore: “Ok Kid, you’re all set. Just keep the door open in-case we need you for something ok?”

I nodded and Scott turned to leave… he stopped and turned back.

‘The Coach’ Scott D’Amore: “Don’t forget your X-Division guys… you talked to them?”

I nodded and laughed.

“Scott… everything is under control… I can hand it.”

He laughed and turned away.

‘The Coach’ Scott D’Amore: “I knew you’d have it all under control… but your sister is so far up my ass I can barely move without her bitching.”

Both myself and Sophie smiled as Scott walked down the corridor.

The truth was I’d briefed the X-Division guys earlier in the morning, before the whole Dixie/Sophie thing even happened. I told then what I’d been telling them for weeks now… to show the world what they can do. To show all the non-believers that the little guys are the future of the business. Most important of all… to show WWE fans an alternative to seeing the little guys on their shows being squashed and held down. Do you even realise that 80% of top-rope moves have been banned in WWE now. Luckily for us… we have no rules… no limitations… and with our 6-sided ring… we have 6 different launching pads for possible aerial attacks.

To blatantly rip off a phrase from a promotion not unlike TNA…

THE FUTURE IS NOW.

It’s time to blow some minds.

Hoo-Rah! (Yeah I hate The Miz too)

-----------------------

Only a few minutes had passed before the live feed sparked to life with a huge (and I mean enormous) fireworks display followed by a deafening chant of ‘TNA! TNA!’ I still hate TNA fans though. It’s merely seconds SECONDS… before we cut to our fabulous three man announcing team.

The three amigos, Los Trios, Team Fashion… TWS.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay, ‘DW’ Don West, and of course… everyone’s favourite announcer… ‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders.

Team Fashion consists of Mike Tenay’s prom tuxedo… with a yellow (YELLOW?!) bow-tie… and Don West wearing a purple shirt, and orange tie. This just in… Don West gets dressed in the dark. Sanders, however, must have struck a deal with some fashion bigwigs… as he oozes star-power in his black suit, black open collar shirt combo. No crappy tie for Mikey S.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Hello everybody and welcome to what promises to be a huge night in the history of TNA. 6 huge matches… each one could possibly alter the course of TNA.”

‘DW’ Don West: “You are so right, Mike! All 6 matches could drastically alter the face of TNA. We’ve got our main event for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, a huge match pitting the future against the past as ‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe faces off against the man they call Sting.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Two huge matches, but there’s four more… a huge X-Division championship match… with ‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels attempting to win the X-Division title once again as he faces the champion… Senshi. Also, a huge open contract match… with ‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown facing off against an opponent to be announced.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Not forgetting Austin Aries going toe-to-toe with a hand picked replacement for the injured AJ Styles.”

Sanders clears his throat.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Ahem… if I could get a word in please. Thanks. Tonight promises to be a huge night of wrestling… but let’s take a moment to remember the people who couldn’t be here with us tonight… like Juventud Guerrera… cos Joe killed him! Hahahaha.”

Tenay and West groan.

‘DW’ Don West: “Oh please!”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Let me apologise for the first… and definitely not last time… for my colleague’s lack of respect.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Don’t apologise to these people… their mothers should be the ones apologising to me for giving birth to them. You know today I got approached by an autograph seeker who thought I was actually Brad Pitt? I mean please… Brad Pitt’s got nothin’ on me.”

More eye rolls follow as we hear ‘HAIL SABIN’ and our first match is here.

Match 1: X-Division Rankings Match

Chris Sabin vs. Roderick Strong vs. Alex Shelley vs. Jeff Hardy

Sabin enters the ring after his, somewhat crappy, entrance music dies down and he sits awaiting his opponents. Next up… Roderick Strong. ‘Mr Backbreaker’.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Let me remind you ‘people’ back home… that Juventud Guerrera was originally scheduled to appear in this match… but due to unforeseen circumstances…”

-cough-Joe killed him-cough-

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “… that wont be happening.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “For once, my friend here at the announcing team is right. Juvi has been replaced by ‘The Enigma’ Jeff Hardy. Also, as of this Thursday’s iMPACT, Alex Shelley must have one hand tied behind his back at all times from bell to bell.”

Strong hits the ring and stands looking like a caged animal as ‘Paparazzi productions’ begin rolling and here comes host of ‘ShellShock TV’ and all around star in the making Alex Shelley.

All we need now is a former drug addict covered in paint.

Oh… and here comes one now!

And nooooooooow here is our X-Division rankings match.

We begin with Mr. Hardy and Mr. Sabin. The freakin’ turnbuckle has more charisma than these guys. Let’s hope their wrestling skills are better than their hair styling techniques. Jeff uses a basement dropkick to the knee of Sabin instead of the traditional handshake. Who does Jeff think he is… Ric Flair? Pssh. Sabin goes down clutching his leg as Jeff continues with inflicting pain to his lower extremities with the dreaded KICK to the leg!

Oh my God! That was hardcore. And that… that was sarcasm. Jeff continues working on the leg of Sabin as he hits a Twist of Fate(?!) to the leg. Unique. Someone has obviously been teaching Jeff some PSYCHOLOGY. Wow. Seems like someone has forgot to teach Sabin the art of selling, however, as he reverses a whip and hits a superkick with the leg that Hardy just annihilated. Nicely done Sabin. Ass. That just looked bad.

--------------

“I can’t believe Sabin… what the hell is wrong with him… I spent all this morning telling the guys to get rid of the ‘no-selling spot monkeys’ tag… and he cant even sell a leg injury for more than thirty seconds…”

Sophie shrugged.

“Hey, you basically told him to tear the house down this morning… he has a lot on his mind. Don’t worry… he’ll come good.”

I turned back to the television…

----------------

Hardy had just reversed a suplex attempt with a legsweep (is that all one word? Who knows), and Sabin was down. Hardy picked Sabin up and whipped him to the ropes where he was blind tagged by Alex. Sabin leaves the ring and finally (finally!) begins selling the leg injury. About frickin’ time.

Alex of course has his left hand tied behind his back and replays reveal that he tagged Jeff Hardy with his head… is that even legal? Ref says yes. Refs are idiots.

Anyway… I digress.

Alex Shelley dives straight at an unsuspecting Hardy with a running… spinning (or roaring if you prefer… either way it only uses one arm) elbow. We have our first two count of the match, and somewhere Masato Tanaka is screaming at the television.

‘Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Only a two count from Shelley… he couldn’t hook the leg with only one arm.”

Sanders once again makes Tenay look like an idiot.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Actually Mike… I believe Shelley could of used his own legs to hook the legs of Hardy… I think he just wants Jeff to expend some energy… either that or he just wanted to lie down for a while. Wrestling is a tiring business MT.”

Alex climbs to his feet as the ref checks his arm is still secured to the back of his trunks. Nice touch. Shelley waits for Hardy to stand before nailing him with a step up Enziguri right to the back of the head. Hardy is down… and Shelley is complaining about getting paint on his shoe! Classic. Shelley wipes his paint-marked shoe on the refs back as the ref checks on Hardy. I love Alex Shelley. A Sanders/Shelley tag-team would be beyond awesome.

Alex grabs Hardy with his right hand and tries to pick him up. Hardy sandbags and Shelley cant lift him with just the one hand. Nice use of the stipulation to add to the match rather than detract from it. Shelley shrugs and kicks Hardy in the head. That’ll teach ‘em.

Shelley waits for Hardy to get to his feet, which seems to take an age… so Shelley begins playing paper-rock-scissor with the ref. Shelley is awesome. Hardy finally staggers to his feet and barely dodges a charging Shelley who runs face-first into the turnbuckle and falls backwards… directly into a reverse Twist of Fate by Hardy.

Watch out Alex!

Hardy refuses to go for the pin, instead pointing to the top rope… and beginning his ascension. Meanwhile… Shelley is still down on the mat. Fortunately for Alex… Roderick Strong is sick of waiting on the apron and begins laying into Sabin on the outside. Strong smashes Sabin’s knee into the guardrail and then climbs back up to his proper place awaiting a tag.

The distraction allows Alex time to recover and crotch Hardy on the top rope. No more Hardy Ballz. At least now he can’t do a Lita and screw Matt. Ha-ha. Anyway… Alex grabs a hold of Jeff’s hair… but gets a hand full of paint for his troubles. What is it with Jeff Hardy and paint? It doesn’t look cool… it looks weird. Alex sees the big clump of paint in his hand and in a scene which will no doubt be repeated by WWE in a few weeks… rubs his paint covered hand over the eyes of Jeff. Brilliant. Simple, but genius. Hardy is reaching out blindly to try and grab Shelley while still suffering the effects of the ball breaker.

Shelley tries for a top rope ShellShock but can’t lift Hardy with just one hand. Shelley does a one armed shrug and now just grabs Hardy and DESTROYS him with a Stunner from the tope rope. That would be our first three count of the night.

Elimination 1: Jeff Hardy via pinfall after 5:24

The ref shows some great remorse for the near-dead Jeff Hardy… as he just rolls him out of the ring.

Mental Note: Don’t invite Mike Posey to my funeral if that’s how he treats the recently deceased.

We get about a million slow-mo replays of the top rope Stunner and some valuable insight from Don West.

‘DW’ Don West: “That Stunner just finished off Jeff Hardy.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Wow. Nothing gets past you, Don.”

Meanwhile, we’re back in the ring as Shelley tags out to Roderick strong… meaning that Strong and Chris Sabin are now the legal men. Of course, Sabin is a one-legged man… and a one-legged man cannot possibly win a wrestling match… just ask Zach Gowen. Strong whips Sabin to the ropes, but this time SABIN SELLS (BAH GAWD!) and falls to the mat clutching his knee.

Shelley, meanwhile, is trying to start a one-armed Mexican wave on the apron. You can bet that Sanders enjoys that.

Strong laughs at Sabin and bends down to slap him in the face. It’s not exactly a backbreaker… but we’re getting there.

Sabin struggles to climb to his feet… er… foot. But his leg is once again destroyed as Strong flattens him with a chop block. I thought Clipping was illegal?

Sabin goes down faster than Stephanie McMahon at the Christmas Party.

Strong turns away laughing as Sabin crawls (a one-legged crawl) across the ring and tags in an unsuspecting Alex Shelley.

Shelley turns away from the crowd and looks down to where Sabin has just tagged him and mouths a very visible “Fuck”. Nice.

Shelley climbs in the ring and Strong offers him a test of strength. Shelley looks at both Strong’s hands and his one hand decides it’s had enough… and flips Strong the bird.

Strong smiles before grabbing Shelley and YES! We have our first backbreaker of the night! Superb.

Strong turns away and taunts the crowd as Shelley jumps right back to his feet? What the hell?

Shelley smirks and points with his free hand to his back.

Replays show that the backbreaker was blocked by Shelley’s tied-up hand.

Awesome touch.

Strong turns round, snarls and wipes out Shelley with a clothesline before spitting on Shelley and mouthing “Block that… BITCH!”

Generation Next break down.

Strong covers a near lifeless Shelley but doesn’t even get a one count? Shelley’s tied-up arm is preventing his shoulders from being pinned to the mat!

To say this pissed Strong off is an understatement as he turns Shelley over and ties up Shelley’s free arm behind his back too.

Shelley is armless!

Strong now stalks Shelley as he groggily gets back to his feet… and notices both his arms are now tied behind his back. He shouts at the ref about how Cornette only said one arm before he is turned and dropped with a vertical suplex. Strong move by Strong. Ha-ha.

Shelley is down is Strong locks in the Stronghold! The elevated Boston Crab! Shelley is so close to the ropes that he could grab them… if he didn’t have both his hands tied behind his back.

In another example of Alex Shelley genius… he gets the rope break… by using his teeth? Shelley bites the bottom rope to break the hold… once again let me reiterate my love for Alex Shelley.

Sabin sees Shelley biting the bottom rope… while the ref debates whether it’s a legal ropebreak or not.

Sabin decides to help Referee Mike Posey with his decision and hops off the apron, across to where Shelley is now struggling to hold onto the ropes with his teeth and smashes him across the face with a forearm.

With nothing to hold him back, Strong pulls Shelley into the centre of the ring and really pushes down on the Stronghold.

Shelley can’t use his hands to tap… so he taps out… using his head? The ref declares it a tap-out… so now it’s down to two.

Elimination 2: Alex Shelley via submission after 13:54

Strong waits for Sabin to get into the ring and instantly grabs him positioned for a half-nelson backbreaker. Sabin rolls out of the hold and nails Strong with a weird flipping kick... even weirder if you take into account that Sabin did that Pele-like kick on one leg. Although it wasn’t quite as good as a Pele kick... so we’ll call it… a Maradona kick. Strong gets up holding his head and is put in a headlock by Sabin… leaving him in perfect position for a backbreaker. Idiot. Strong possibly cripples Sabin with an elevated backbreaker. Sabin is down as Strong climbs the top-rope… waiting for Sabin to stand before diving off with an attempted clothesline. Unfortunately, Sabin counters it with a one-legged dropkick. Nice. Strong goes down and clutches his ribs, making an X sign with his hands as the referee rushes over to check on the possible serious injury.

Suddenly ABYSS appears in the ring behind Sabin(!!!???). WTF. Sabin turns around and is squished into paste with a huge… HUGE HUUUUUUUUGE Black Hole Slam! Abyss rolls out of the ring as Strong suddenly appears to feel better and climbs to his feet smiling.

Roderick Strong strolls over to Chris Sabin, who is still down on the canvas and locks him in the Stronghold! Sabin is out cold and leaves Mike Posey with no choice but to call for the bell. Submission victory!

Elimination 3: Chris Sabin via knock-out/submission after 20:23

Winner: Roderick Strong via submission after 20:23

Rating: *** ½ Simply a great, great match. Shelley’s arm stipulation really added to the match, and the interference of Abyss is an interesting development. I wonder what it’s leading to.

Nevertheless your winner and new number one contender for the X-Division title… Roderick Strong.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “That win, albeit a tainted one, now means that on next weeks Impact… Roderick Strong will face the winner of Senshi/Daniels for the X-Division title.”

‘DW’ Don West: “We’ve seen a sort of alliance between Abyss and the team of Aries and Strong in recent weeks… it seems that Abyss came out here to ensure victory for his… well… friend.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Hail Strong!”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Up next, we have what was scheduled to be Austin Aries facing AJ Styles. Unfortunately, due to an injury suffered by AJ… a replacement has been chosen to face Aries. That match up next, after we take a look at the new Samoa Joe DVD.”

-----------------

I gave an inward sigh of relief… the match was off the charts. Just a superb match. Shelley and Strong had been the main stars of the match no doubt… and we were off to a great start.

I turned my head and looked out at the corridor where Alex and Roderick were laughing about the match. I saw Val go over to Alex and give him a kiss as Sophie walked back into my office… I turned back to the TV to watch the brief DVD shill.

Sophie took a seat next to me and sat in silence.

I turned towards her and sighed.

“What is it Sophie.”

She swallowed and turned back to the TV.

“Val and Alex… are together.”

I shrugged.

“Yeah I guessed that.”

“She says she waited for your call but it never came, so she made an appearance at the PWG show. On the flight back she was sitting with Alex… and one thing led to another.”

I shrugged.

“She’s a grown woman… and Alex is a great guy. I hope they do well together.”

Sophie sighed and sat back in her seat as the show resumed.

-----------------

Aries was already in the ring… he’d been accompanied by ‘Father’ James Mitchell. That was… interesting… and sort-of officially declared the alliance of Mitchell, Abyss and Aries/Strong. He stood smiling as he awaited his opponent.

Some unfamiliar music sparks up over the in-house PA, a sort of oriental type guitar riff. Everyone was on their feet as a small masked wrestler walked out to the ring… wearing a green sparkly mask… and green sparkly tights… is perhaps the best Japanese lightweight worker of all time… ULTIMO DRAGON!

Match 2: Austin Aries vs. Ultimo Dragon

Tenay, West and Sanders were going ape-shit at the announce position.

‘DW’ Don West: “Ultimo Dragon! Oh my… God, Mike!”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “The former WCW Cruiserweight Champion… the Japanese legend… the masked enigma… Ultimo Dragon!”

As usual… Sanders isn’t impressed.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Ultimo Dragon? He’s Japanese right? I wonder if he was cleared to wrestle here…”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “What do you mean?”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Well… you know S.A.R.S and Bird-flu…”

Tenay gives Sanders an incredulous look and Sanders shrugs.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “I’m just saying.”

Ultimo charges to the ring where he is met by a barrage of punches from Aries. That’s not exactly X-Division style… but Ok. Aries takes Dragon down with punches and turns away to taunt the fans. Bad move Austin. Ultimo takes the time to roll to the apron where he climbs to his feet and springboards off the top rope with a great looking dropkick. Ouch. Aries goes down clutching his head as Dragon bows to him. Nice touch. Dragon picks Aries up and pushes him to the corner where he is taken down with a tornado DDT... that looked pretty cool. Aries really looks dazed and replays show that he actually hit the mat pretty hard. Dragon picks Aries up from behind… hooking him for the Dragon Suplex. Mitchell climbs on the apron, distracting the ref, and allowing Aries to hit a mule kick. Ultimo NutCracker!

Shelley hooks Dragon from behind and hit a release German suplex. Dragon was folded in half. Like an accordion… or a random big foldy thing. Aries starts rocking from side to side and nails Dragon with his trademark pendulum elbow. Love that move. Dragon is down for a two count as we see the regular ‘2’ sign-holding jerk. Someone should kick his ass. Dragon fights out of an Austin Aries hold and DEMOLISHES him with a hard (Hard!!!) back suplex. Dragon must believe he’s Senshi now as he starts delivering kicks to the back and head of Aries. Dragon runs to the ropes, looking to gain some velocity… but instead gains some tooth loss… as Aries smashes him in the jaw with an excellent looking super kick.

Aries covers for another ‘2’ count as he lifts Dragon to his feet and hooks him up for the Brainbuster (Yey!). Dragon blocks it (bastard) and flips behind Aries, positioning him for the ULTIMO DDT. Bam! Ultimo DDT is hit. Mitchell climbs onto the apron once again and Dragon goes after him like an idiot. So does the ref. Mitchell continues to distract the referee as Aries picks up Mitchell’s cane! How did he get that? Austin Aries takes advantage of the distraction and nails Dragon with the cane from behind! The cane just snapped! So did Dragon’s neck. Damn.

Dragon is down and Aries kicks the broken cane out of the ring as Mitchell climbs back down off the apron. Aries climbs the corner and dives off with an always awesome looking 450 Splash. Ding ding ding.

Winner: Aries via pinfall after 6:40

Rating: ** Glorified squash. Good action, but not enough sustained offence from Dragon.

Aries climbs out of the ring and shakes hands with Mitchell as we cut to our usual merchandise shilling… this time it’s the Slammiversary DVD. That was quick.

The Complication

It had been a little under an hour since I had hired (or rehired) Sophie, and she still hadn’t stopped talking about it. There was gratitude, and then there was Sophie’s gratitude.

“You want some water? Can I get you a sandwich? You need anything?”

I rolled my eyes.

“No thanks Sophie… I’m good.”

“You sure? I can go get you some…”

I held up my hand.

“Soph… I’m good… honestly. Why don’t you sit down and watch the dark matches with me.”

I was now sat in my small office. It wasn’t much, Dixie seemed to take pleasure in handing me the keys to it. I still remember her sneer when she opened the door to show me the room for the first time.

“My TV would barely fit in this little hole.”

I smiled and looked around at what would be my office. To be honest I liked it. A small desk and chair, two medium sized black sofas, and a decent sized television. While it wasn’t big… to me it was perfect. My own space… my own sanctuary amongst the havoc of TNA Wrestling. My place to escape… and that’s what I was trying to do now. Unfortunately… Sophie didn’t seem to understand that.

“Are you sure you’re OK? I can go get you some water or something…”

I looked up from my laying position on one of the black sofas… the table was filled with bottled water, various finger foods and some variety of green mushy crap. Health food junk… Sophie’s, not mine. I don’t know… women and their diet fads. Give me a greasy slice of pizza over a bowl of green mush any day.

“No Soph… I’m fine. Really.”

She shrugged and sat down on the opposite couch.

“So… how’s things with you and Val? Heard she gave you her number.”

She giggled and I could instantly tell what she was thinking.

“Don’t look at me like that Soph… I called her, yeah, but there was no answer.”

“Didn’t you leave a message?”

I shrugged.

“And say what? ‘Oh! Hi Val… blah blah blah’ Screw that. I just hung up.”

Sophie looked at me like I was crazy.

“How many times did you call her?”

“Just once.”

“You only called her ONCE?!”

She looked almost as shocked as she did when Dixie had fired her. Her eyes looked like they had tripled in size… I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, why? She’ll be here for the show soon anyways.”

She leant forwards and looked me dead in the eye.

“She gave you her number at the taping on Tuesday… and you only called her once?”

I shrugged and took a quick mouthful of water.

“Yeah. Waited a few days, called her on Friday morning… there was no answer.”

She seemed incredulous… like she truly didn’t believe what she’s just heard.

“You waited three days… and then you only called her once… are you an idiot?”

I was confused.

“What? It’s not like I didn’t call her.”

“Actually… since you didn’t even leave a message… she probably has absolutely no idea that you called her.”

I was indifferent… I mean… I had called her… and she’d be at the studio soon anyway.

I turned back to the screen and yawned.

The live feed from ringside had started a few minutes ago, some dark matches with a few workers I didn’t recognise. A big guy, who looked pretty green, and some smaller guys that looked like twins. The match was bad, but the following dark matches were guaranteed to be better. I mean how could Petey Williams and Bobby Roode facing off against AMW possibly be a bad match?

Exactly.

I yawned again and closed my eyes as Sophie continued to do some of the paperwork I had asked her to do. Basically just the X-Division guys and their various match records. Nothing too hard… but something I really didn’t want to do.

I was awakened by a knock at my door and I must have jumped out of my seat because, before I knew it, I was on my feet and Sophie was laughing.

“Took a little nap, huh?”

In my drowsy state I just ignored her and walked to the door, opening it to reveal the lovely face of the woman I had called only once.

That lovely face belonged to none other than So-Cal Val.

Her eyes seemed to brighten up when she saw me and she ran towards me with a hug.

“Deeeeeeeean!”

I hugged her back and laughed.

“Uh… hey Val.”

I released the hug and she smiled a big bright smile… one that could light up the room.

“You need some company to watch the show?”

I smiled and motioned towards Sophie who turned and waved.

“Actually, we’re gonna be pretty busy during the show… so we wont be the best company. You’re welcome to watch it with us though.”

She scrunched up her nose and shook her head.

“Ewww work! Ha-ha! No thanks… I’ll just watch it in the catering area.”

I was about to ask her to come sit in with us for the duration of the dark matches when suddenly a pair of hands appeared at her waist and a man’s arms encircled her from behind. She turned and smiled.

“Hey Vee, I’m going to get my gear on… Oh hey Boss-man!”

The man smiled at me while I stood there dumbfounded… here was the girl of my dreams… and she was looking lovingly up at another guy. A guy with black/blonde hair… a guy with superb wrestling ability… a guy who was possibly the future of the X-Division… Alex Shelley.

At first I thought they were just being overfriendly… that is until my worst fears were realised. Val turned… and in what seemed like slow motion to my eyes… planted a big wet tongue-infested kiss on my X-Division guy. I still hadn’t spoken… and Alex raised an eyebrow.

“Uh… Dean… you ok man?”

I regained my composure and smiled.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good… just got a lot on my mind ya know. So… you ready for the show?”

I still couldn’t get that kiss out of my mind. Alex and Val? No way.

“You know me Boss-man… I aim to please. I’m a modest, awesome, amazingly brilliant guy. Your next TNA X-Division champion… Alex Shelley…”

He smiled and walked away, pulling Val with him… they disappeared from my view and I was just about to close the door when he reappeared.

“…Shelley!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. It was impossible to dislike Alex… even if he was currently involved (or so I guessed) with Val.

“Seriously though D, I want to thank you.”

I laughed.

“Thank me for what?”

He shrugged.

“For giving me a chance… for convincing Jeff to give me the host segment… and for actually believing that I can get over without having to play second fiddle to someone else.”

I was shocked at how he could turn from kooky to sincere… but he did it. I could have been an ass… but I really liked Alex… he was a great guy. If he was with Val… then I was happy for both of them.

Dammit. Why did that guy have to be so fuckin’ nice?!

I shook his hand.

“Give me a reason to continue that push… I wouldn’t want to have you go back to jobbing for Goldylocks now would I? Huh? Baby Bear.”

He grabbed his chest and stumbled backwards with a sharp intake of breath.

“Oh… Oh! D… that was below the belt, man! You cut me deep. You cut me deep, man.”

I laughed and shook his hand as he left to change into his ring gear.

I checked my watch.

35 minutes until Showtime.

THE ASSISTANT

“Look… I made the decision to bring you in here… I am your boss… and you will NOT supersede my authority!"

I had been sat here now… for nearly half an hour. Getting a verbal beating for not going through the ‘proper channels’ to book my section of Victory Road. Either Dixie was a bitch… or she was suffering from constant PMS… my guess is a bit of both.

“You think you own this damn company? You don’t. You think I brought you here to fuck with me? I didn’t. You think I gave you a job in this company… IN MY FUCKING COMPANY… so you could lose me money?!”

I looked around the room at the five other people in it. Sophie, staying as far away from Dixie as humanly possible, was seemingly disinterested in Dixie’s arguments and was nose-deep in various paperwork. Jeff and Scott were watching silently as Dixie blew her top and verbally ripped me a new one. Tenay and Sanders were going over some last minute preparation… although I did catch Sanders sniggering at Dixie’s over the top outburst.

Basically, all this stemmed from Dixie hearing about me bringing in a new guy to replace AJ Styles in his match with Austin Aries. I don’t think she even knew the full story… but here she was, in full bitch-mode. How we shared the same blood… I don’t even know.

I had been sitting down discussing some final day preparations with Jeff and Scott when the doors had flown open and she came storming in, looking like she was going to kill me. I had to ask her just what her problem was.

“What’s my problem?! You! You are my fucking problem! I brought you in here, gave you a direction in life, and what do you do? You try to screw me over.”

I was taken aback for a second… what?

“How exactly did I do that?”

This seemed to push her over the edge.

“How?! How? Do you think that I don’t watch my own company’s television show? What the hell was the deal with booking a match of your own accord? You think you own this company?”

I was stunned.

“What match? Me and Scott had…”

I could see fire in her eyes.

“What match?! How about replacing AJ Styles in his match without even informing anyone of your decision? How about bringing in an outsider to appear on our pay per view show… without even telling me?”

I shrugged.

“Dixie… Aries was happy with it, Jeff, Jerry and Scott were. Hell, even Sophie agreed it was the right decision to give Aries and match and postpone his match with AJ. So… what exactly did I do wrong?”

She knew I was right, but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

“Just remember who the boss is! Remember who signs your checks and keeps you here. Do not supersede my authority again or I will kick you out of here so fast that your ass wont even realise it has left the building. Do we understand each other?”

I shrugged and nodded as Dixie turned towards Sophie and sneered.

“And you. You knew about this?”

Sophie looked confused and just nodded.

“You never thought to tell me?”

Sophie shook her head.

“I thought that…”

“Yeah well obviously that thought was wrong… you’re fired.”

Sophie had a look of shock and utter devastation as tears began to well up in her eyes. Dixie was really a bitch.

“You heard me. You disobeyed a direct order to report all his (pointing to me) business decisions to me… you cut the chain of command. I have no choice but to terminate your employment as of this very minute.”

I felt it was my turn to jump in.

"Dixie... what the fuck are you doing? You can't fire Sophie... she didn't do anything wrong!"

Dixie turned towards me and snarled.

“Nothing wrong? She hired a free-lance worker without consulting me first. It was either her or you, and since Daddy seems to want you round here... I'm just gonna have to fire her. Just take this as a warning... do not fuck me over again… or I will have you ass.”

She turned on her heel and left. Leaving behind a room full of stunned and shocked people, one crying woman, and one seriously pissed of guy.

I turned towards Sophie who had her head buried in her hands. I could see her shaking and hear her sobs. It broke my heart.

Lightbulb.

You ever been hit with an unbelieveable thunderbolt that just smacks you on the head? It was so simple… it was obvious. It was genius.

I turned towards Sophie.

“Soph?”

I waited for a few seconds… getting no reply.

“Soph?”

Bingo! She wiped her eyes and looked up at me.

“W-What?”

I smiled.

“It seems to me that you need a job.”

She frowned and another tear rolled down her cheek.

“This isn’t a time to joke Dean.”

I smiled and shrugged.

“I wasn’t joking… I've never been more serious in my life. I need an assistant, you need a job. Hell, I cant do all this crap by myself.”

She looked at me strangely… I could see her brain working as she debated my proposition. Finally she started crying again and threw herself across the room. I thought she was going to kill me… she dived and grabbed me… for a hug?!

Yep, that’s right. A hug. With her head buried in my chest and now uncontrollably sobbing I just out my arms around her and looked at the other guys who were now smirking.

“I take it… that’s a yes?”

Well… I did need an assistant, and I had come to see Sophie as a friend… in a time when I could count my friends on one hand… and still have about four fingers left.

Problem solved.

Now all I had to do was sit back and cross my fingers. The show was barely 2 hours away.

Guys… make me proud.

[Fear not my faithful followers... Victory Road is nearing completion and should be posted in around 3 to four hours... depending on some last minute changes. Love and Kisses... Dean]

Victory Road PPV Line-up

NWA World Heavyweight Championship

Raven © vs. ‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage vs. ‘King of the Mountain’ Jeff Jarrett

TNA X-Division Championship

Senshi © vs. ‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels

No Holds Barred Grudge Match

‘The Samoan Submission Machine’ Samoa Joe vs. Sting

Open Contract Match

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown vs. Opponent TBA

Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles Opponent TBA

X-Division Rankings Match

(Alex Shelley must have one hand tied behind his back)

Alex Shelley vs. Roderick Strong vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin

Ok guys… I’m gonna have a little PPV prediction contest… just to see how good you really are at predicting my stuff. The winner gets to book the X-Division Championship match at Hard Justice. Not the winner of it… just the participants and stipulation. That should be enough of a prize for you. Above is the line-up for the PPV… predict the winners and answer the following questions correctly to win. It’s easy.

This prediction contest is fully endorsed by Mike Sanders.

1. What order will the matches be in? (If Alex Shelley wins his X-Division rankings match, his TNA X-Division Title match will count as the original match in placement)

a. Opening Match

b. Match 2

c. Match 3

d. Match 4

e. Match 5

f. Main Event

2. How many (if any) title changes will take place?

3. Who will Monty Brown’s opponent be?

4. Who will replace AJ Styles in his match against Austin Aries?

5. Will Chris Jericho make an appearance? If so, when?

See? I told you it would be simple.

I had been trying to track down Scott for what seemed like hours, but nobody seemed to know where he was. How could a guy like Scott D’Amore just up and disappear?

Especially when I needed him more than ever.

I called Sophie and apologised for interrupting her meeting. She seemed happy to get away from it for a while… I explained the situation and gave her a list of things I needed her to do for me. Thank God she said she’d do them.

Deciding to cut my losses, I returned to the meeting room where a whole bunch of depressed faces greeted me. It was time to see what I was made of… it was time to step up.

I walked to the front of the room and took a deep breath… it was time to be a man.

“I’m guessing Chris broke the news.”

A series of nods greeted my question.

“So you guys know that AJ is injured… and that pretty much screws up our plans for Victory Road. So… we need a new plan.”

The guys looked on with interest.

“Here’s what I’m gonna do… Austin.”

Aries raised his hand at the back of the room to show me where he was. I nodded over at him and pointed.

“We need to get you a new opponent don’t we. I have here a list of names which I’ve handed to Sophie… I know its short notice but we’re gonna get you a new face… an outsider. You up to it?”

He smiled and nodded.

“I’d wrestle a broom if it got me on Victory Road in a singles match.”

The guys in the room laughed and I put on a serious face.

“It might come to that if none of these guys wants to lower himself to wrestle you.”

I cracked a smile and Aries laughed. Turning to the rest of the room I continued.

“Ok… so onto other pressing matters… our X-Division rankings match. Jeff, Rod, Sabin and Alex. You guys are gonna be able to go all out now because of AJ’s injury. We were counting on at least a 20 minute match for Styles vs. Aries… but now you guys get the extra minutes. We’ve got you pencilled in for 15 minutes… but you can go 5 longer. I don’t want any quick eliminations… I want you to tell a story. I don’t want a spotfest. I want psychology, I want drama… and I want you to show the world that the X-Division is the best in the world. Better than what Mexico has to offer, better than what Japan has to offer, let’s show ‘em what the American’s have to offer.”

Alex stood up and put his hand on his chest.

“And the hoooooome of the braaaaaaaaaave.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I flipped open my notebook and turned to the front page where my very first meeting notes had been jotted down.

“Ok… you all know the line-up for the show. Aries and Strong with the big guy against CS, Daniels and Rhino. Juvi… you’re up against Joe. We’ll work the rib injury angle we started last week. And Bran… you’re up against The Truth… show him a thing or two. Ok guys… have a good show. We’re starting in about an hour with the developmental guys in some dark matches. So… Petey, you’re up against a local guy. You go over him with the Destroyer. 4 minutes, tops. Alex, you’ll be with Delirious… try-out match. Work him; I want at least 6 minutes. You go over with the Shellshock. Try not to bump too much for him, but give him some offence. Elix and Matt, you’re facing Harry and Sonjay. Harry over Elix with the Running Powerslam. Nothing over 7 minutes. Ok guys, I’ll see you later. Unlike you… I have some real work to do.”

The guys laughed and I couldn’t help but smile as I left the room… things weren’t perfect… but the wheels were in motion to make the best of a bad situation.

I called back Sophie and was greeted with some good news finally… one of the guys on the list I’d made was in the country and had agreed to work the show with Aries. This was a good sign… now I just had to track down Daniels and Aries and get them to work it into the show.

A little over two hours later I was sitting back in the X-Division meeting room drinking from a bottle of water and working feverishly writing up some ideas to run by Jeff and Scott… wherever he was. I turned on the television in the corner of the room, it was a good 15 minutes before Impact was due to begin taping, but I didn’t want to miss anything.

I’d been standing backstage as the dark matches took place, talking to Aries and Daniels about the guy I had lined up for Victory Road. I still was in awe watching the Canadian Destroyer being delivered; it truly was the coolest looking finisher ever. I congratulated Delirious and Alex on having a great match and took Harry aside to tell him I thought he was a future star after his amazing display in his tag match. He delivers that Running Powerslam as good as his father ever did… maybe better.

The future definitely looked good for the TNA X-Division.

I was distracted from my work by the sound of the door opening and a quite lovely head poked in.

“There you are! Care for some company? I’ve brought food!”

There she was, the girl of my dreams. Val… was looking beautiful as ever. I motioned for her to come in and she opened the door fully… bringing with her an armful of sandwiches and bottled water.

She sat down next to me and glanced over at my notes.

“Ooooh… where’s my title shot?”

I smiled at her.

“I was thinking about booking you against Abyss… or maybe Rhino.”

She poked me in the ribs and I laughed.”

“What? You don’t think I could beat them. I’d just give them a So-Cal Slap. Bam!”

I was about to reply when the live feed of Impact came screaming onto the television. I was nearly deaf… reaching for the control I turned it down to human volume. Val was still holding her ears.

“Loud enough for you?”

I laughed and shushed her as TWS (Tenay, West and Sanders) made their way to the announce position. As usual, Tenay looked like he was dressed for a prom, West looked like he was dressed in the dark, and Sanders looked like he’d just stepped out of GQ Magazine. You know what they say, you can buy clothes, but you can’t buy taste. Let the unnecessary shouting begin!

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Hello everyone and welcome to TNA Impact… the last stop before Victory Road! Tonight we have several amazing matches in prospect! A 6-Man Tag, an X-Division challenge match, a Non-title match-up and a huge tag match.”

‘DW’ Don West: “What a night this could turn out to be! The new alliance of Abyss, Aries and Strong… under the guidance of James Mitchell, will face the team of Rhino, Chris Sabin and ‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels! What will happen when these 6 men meet each other in the ring?”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “My guess is they’ll wrestle. That’s what they’re paid to do. They’ll try to kill each other.”

‘DW’ Don West: “They’re not paid to kill each other!”

Sanders shrugs.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “You’re not paid to wear ridiculous suits, but you do.”

West’s retort is interrupted as our NEW NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION Raven, appears at the top of the ramp with his belt. This is the type of response a champion needs, the fans are on their feet. Raven walks to the ring before rolling in and sitting in his trademark pose in the bottom corner. He requests a mic and waits for the cheers to die down before speaking.

Raven: “They say when a man achieves his destiny, his life becomes empty, his soul hollow, and his journey at an end. They say he loses focus, loses the will to continue, his instinct for success. My destiny was fulfilled over a year ago when I became champion for the first time in this company… but I didn’t lose focus, I didn’t lose the will to continue, and I didn’t lose my instinct for success. I thrived on it. It was the only shining light in this hell we call life. It was the only beacon of hope on this desolated highway we call existence. I needed this belt, but it was taken from me. By hook or by crook it was stolen from my grasp. Ripping it from my hands before I had even become accustomed to it. My journey, however, didn’t end there… it only began. A quest to regain what was never truly lost, a quest to regain something that I never really had, a journey to the very centre of darkness. I fought with demons in disguise, men who attempted to extinguish that beacon of light, men who chose the path of hate, the path of suffering.

I tried to walk the higher path, the path of the righteous man, but a righteous man is a man without sin… I was cast from that path by Larry Zbyszko… deemed too much of a threat to walk the higher ground.

I walked through the shadows for an eternity… until once again that beacon of light appeared on the horizon.

That light grew brighter and brighter until it was no longer just a beacon on the horizon… no longer just an unattainable dream… but a reality. I was plucked from obscurity and once again given an opportunity.

The path of the truly righteous man is laced with shadow and pain… I walked that path and it made me what I am. It made me who I am. It made me… me.

My destiny has truly been fulfilled, Jeff Jarrett has been vanquished… and the world… is mine.

Quote the Raven… never…”

Raven is interrupted as the Evanescence rip-off track of ‘My Last Breath’ hits the PA and none other than (Samoa Joe victim number 1) Christian Cage(!!!) walks out. Man… I wish my X-Division guys got as many cheers as these two.

‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage: “Woah! Woah! WOAH! Did I hear correctly? The world is yours? Who are you? Tony Montana?!”

This gets a laugh from the audience and Sanders is going crazy at ringside.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Hahahahaha! Tony Montana!! Hahahahaha!”

‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage: “You beat Jeff Jarrett? Wooo! Big frickin’deal! Screw Jeff Jarrett… I bury that cock-a-roach!”

The ‘Scarface’ references continue. Much to the amusement of Mike Sanders.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Look at Raven… dat’s da bad guy. Hahaha”

‘DW’ Don West: “Oh… please.”

Meanwhile… Christian has continued his walk to the ring as Raven slowly stands.

‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage: “Now… you, me and the cock-a-roach are in a match at Victory Road… three days from now. Can you handle the heat? You got the belt… you know what that means… it means you got what I want. (Puts on bad Tony Montana accent) In this country, you gotta win the title first. Then when you get the title, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. What do you think, huh, Tony?”

Tenay and West are having simultaneous heart attacks at ringside while Sanders continues to love it.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “The disrespect shown by Christian Cage is just unbelievable.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Continually mocking Raven”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Hahahaha Tony Montana… that cracks me up.”

Raven smiles slightly.

Raven: “I have what you want? What exactly do you want?”

Christian pulls down his hood and smirks. Once again putting on that God-awful Tony Montana accent.

‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage: “What do I want? I want the wooooorld… chico… and everything in it.”

Raven nods slowly and looks impressed.

Raven: “That was good... you should audition for some TV work… I’m sure you could get a part in General Hospital.”

Christian looks outraged and continues with his mockery of Raven with yet another ‘Scarface’ quote.

‘Captain Charisma’ Christian Cage: “You wanna screw with me? Okay. You wanna play rough… well…”

Before Cage can finish talking, Raven drops his mic and flattens Christian with the NWA World Heavyweight title. He picks up his dropped mic and crouches over the fallen Christian. Holding up his NWA title to Christian’s face he smirks.

Raven: “Say ‘Hello’ to my little friend.”

Raven’s music hits the PA and he walks slowly up the ramp before stopping to do his classic crucifixion pose as the feed stops. I can hear commotion outside as workers run around preparing everything for the next match.

Val was smiling broadly at the black screen.

“That was so cool.”

I had to agree… and the lack of Jarrett made it that much better.

I picked up a sandwich and took a bite as the feed resumed.

Cutting back as TWS are talking about the opening exchange between Raven and Cage.

‘DW’ Don West: “I still can’t believe what we just saw… what was up with Christian Cage?”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Tell me about it DW; Cage seemed like a completely different person than what we’ve seen of him in recent weeks.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “That attack by Samoa Joe must have pushed him over the edge. Either that… or they’ve ran out of Maple Syrup up in Toronto.”

West and Tenay just groaned and rolled their eyes.

Meanwhile, the team of Aries, Strong and Abyss made their way to the ring. They were accompanied by ‘Father’ James Mitchell, who looked as sinister as ever. They had barely reached the ring when Rhino, Chris Sabin and Christopher Daniels charged to the ring and began brawling. The referee finally restored order and we began with Abyss and Rhino in the ring. Big men collide!

Match 1

Abyss, Austin Aries and Roderick Strong vs. Rhino, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin

Abyss nails a running forearm to the face of Rhino. If he was actually a real rhino that move would be impossible cos he’d have a big horn on his face. Unfortunately he’s not… so he gets smashed in the face. Timberrrrrrr. Abyss picks up Rhino by his head and twists him into a hangman neckbreaker. Working on Rhino’s back… who better to continue that work than Roderick Strong? Abyss tags Roderick Strong and climbs out of the ring, where he is met with some advice by Mitchell. Bodyslam by Roderick. We want some backbreakers Rod! Rhino tries to fight out of a suplex attempt, but instead is hit by a tornado bulldog out of the corner. That was unique. He gets a two count as the regular jerk in the crowd holds up a huge cut-out of a 2. Someone should kick his ass. Roderick tags out to Austin Aries. Let the push continue! Double team fun as Aries and Strong whip Rhino into the ropes and hit a neat double backdrop. Future tag champs people. Go Team ROH! Aries just nails a rolling kick on Rhino. Once again… if he had a horn, that wouldn’t happen. Just saying. Somewhere Konnan is rolling over in his grave. He’s not dead? Shit. Rhino blocks an Aries BRAINBUST-AH attempt and is able to hit Aries with a suplex instead! Damn you Rhino. We want to see some brains get busted. Rhino now seems like a pussy as he rolls over and tags in Chris Sabin. Hail Sabin! Sabin waits for Aries to stand before nearly killing him with a VICIOUS sidekick to the teeth. Tenay says it’s over… which obviously means it isn’t. Sabin covers Aries for a once count. A one count… they’re pretty rare in this business. Like X-Division stars that the fans actually care about. Sabin hits Aries with a dropkick to the gut and Aries begins to dry-heave in the ring. That’s a first. Superb selling by Aries. Now it’s Chris Daniels time! The tag and in he comes and just lays into Aries with chop after chop… leaving huge red marks on his chest. That’s gonna sting in the morning. Aries stumbles around the ring for a while before he takes a flying neckbreaker from The Fallen Angel. Daniels is distracted by Strong and fails to notice Aries tag in Abyss. Don’t turn around Chris! No! Bam! Abyss catches a turning Christopher Daniels and slams him to the mat with a HUGE Black Hole Slam. Daniels may be dead. Instead of going for the pin, however, Abyss picks a near lifeless Daniels up on his shoulder and throws him to the opposite corner. Rhino charges straight in and exchanges punches with the big man. You can’t knock down a tree with small taps like that. Nail him Rhino! Aries and Strong are now battling with Sabin and Daniels on the outside and fail to see James Mitchell climb up on the apron and taunt Rhino… who turns away from Abyss like an ass. How dumb can you get? Rhino charges towards Mitchell who just hops off the apron away from him and laughs… I’m sure you can see where this is going… Rhino turns and charges but is dropped with the BLACK HOLE SLAM! Ring the bell. Abyss pins Rhino.

Winner: Abyss, Aries and Strong in 7:36 when Abyss pinned Rhino.

Rating: ** Good but not long enough to really achieve anything except putting Abyss over.

We cut backstage where Daniels and Aries are still battling… Daniels floor Aries and starts choking him as he leans in to his face.

‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels: “You think it’s funny that AJ is out injured? You think it’s funny that your boy Abyss put me through a table last week? You think it’s funny that you punked me out? Maybe you’ll find it less funny when you see who myself and AJ have picked to fight you at Victory Road… Good Luck Aries… you’ll need…”

Daniels is suddenly SMACKED on the back of the head by a shockingly loud kick. All we can see is a black boot and a small black kickpad. The figure crouches down over the unconscious figure of Daniels and we see SENSHI??! He smirks and pats his X-Division championship… which rests on his shoulder.

‘The X-Division Champion’ Senshi: “Always be ready. See you on Sunday.”

With that Senshi exited the screen as the camera pulled back to reveal the coughing, red-faced Austin Aries and the lifeless form of Christopher Daniels.

Not bad, if I do say so myself.

I turned to a clapping Val and did a mock bow as she laughed.

“Very impressive Mr. Booker Man.”

I shrugged in false modesty.

“It was Ok, I guess.”

The fact was, it was more than Ok… it had gotten several people over at once. It had worked to perfection. Aries & Strong were now getting SERIOUS heel heat and their teaming with Abyss and Mitchell was gold. Senshi was quickly becoming a seriously hated figure in TNA… and Daniels was brilliant as usual.

Now all I needed was a Jeff Jarrett promo…

The feed came back with a pre-taped Jeff Jarrett promo.

Ah, he completes me.

‘King of the Mountain’ Jeff Jarrett: “Tonight is a night of transition. A period of unease in TNA. The fans don’t want Raven as their champion, they don’t want Christian Cage… they want me. They want the familiar face of a true leader, a true champion. There were riots in the streets of America when our World Title was disgraced and tarnished. It falls to me to restore the pride and beauty to the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, and to reclaim what is rightfully mine. I was cheated out of my title, nobody can deny that, not even Jim Cornette. I was wronged, and I will right that wrong on Sunday July 16th when I take back what is mine. A damn army couldn’t stop me. I’ll get back my belt, I’ll get back what is mine and I will continue to rule TNA. I am the best wrestler in TNA, I am the only man good enough to hold the gold, and I AM Jeff Jarrett. Your next NWA World Heavyweight Champion.”

Ah the traditional heel campaign promo. Classic. Say what you want about Jarrett… but you cant deny his promo skill.

We cut back to the ring where a camera is now focused on the ceiling of the arena and none other than STING is sitting up in the rafters watching the show. Neat. I love Crow Sting.

Tenay and West begin their usual shilling of the PPV and near hysterical shouting about Sting’s appearance as Sanders rolls up bits of paper and throws them up at Sting trying to knock him off… unsuccessfully. Not even the legend that is Mike Sanders can throw a piece of paper 40 feet up in the air. Shame. He’s still awesome though.

‘DW’ Don West: “Sting is here! Up in the rafters where we’ve seen him on many occasions in the past.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “The last time I saw Sting sitting up in the rafters like that was in WCW… when he had been pushed over the edge by Hollywood Hogan and the nWo. I guess Sting was right last week when he said Samoa Joe had awoken the beast within him.”

‘DW’ Don West: “We all remember just how dangerous Sting was back then, taking out everyone the nWo had to offer. He’d just descend from the rafters and attack… ruthless and quick.”

Sanders doesn’t seem to impressed.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Why the hell is a grown man sitting up on a metal catwalk, wearing face-paint and a leather trench coat?”

Tenay and West groan.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “He’s sending a message to Samoa Joe!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Why the hell does he need to send a message from way up there? What is he? A pussy?”

Of course… the word ‘pussy’ will be cut or censored from the final broadcast.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “He’s saying that he can get Joe anywhere at anytime… wouldn’t you find it hard to concentrate on your match if there was a guy up in the rafters who could come down at any time and attack you?”

Sanders shrugs.

‘DW’ Don West: “Sting is getting into the head of Samoa Joe.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “He’s not exactly inconspicuous up there… trying to hide from Joe. He’s scared Tenay… I see the fear in his eyes.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “How in the hell can you see his eyes? He’s at least forty feet above us!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “I have excellent vision Tenay… I have eyes like a hawk. Sting is scared… Joe’s gonna kill him.”

Sanders stands up and points at Sting.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Yeah, you heard me! Joe’s gonna kill…”

Sanders has to dive out of the way as a large black bat smashes into the floor where he was just standing… Sting must have tried dropping it on Sanders! Luckily the announce position is far enough away from the audience that nobody was hurt. That was a risky stunt… but it worked. Tenay and West cant help but laugh as Sanders slowly crawls back to his seat… muttering about his suit being dirtied and a perfectly good bat being ruined.

I couldn’t help but think just how well Sting was being booked. He seemed to be really enjoying himself. It was refreshing.

Val had equal acclaim for her favourite wrestler.

“It’s like he’s been given a new lease on life. I used to love looking for him in the rafters when I went to WCW shows.”

The familiarly ominous music of Samoa Joe turned our attention back to the screen where Joe’s opponent, Juventud Guerrera was already standing in the ring. No entrance music… that’s not a good sign.

Joe slowly enters the ring and cracks his neck. I predict this match wont last long.

Match 2

Samoa Joe vs. Juventud Guerrera

Samoa Joe lays into Juvi right away with a succession of rights and lefts before nailing him with an elbow shot and knocking him to the mat. That was fast. Joe bounces off the ropes and crushes Juvi’s face with a running kneedrop. Where’s Isaac Yankem when you need him? Joe scoops up and slams Juvi back to the mat. What was the point in picking him up just to slam him back down? Joe is distracted as he looks up and points at Sting, unaware that Juvi is back to his feet. Juvi charges at Joe with a crossbody, but he’s caught! Wow. Fallaway slam by Samoa Joe just creams Juvi… like so much corn at retirement home. That’s gonna leave a mark. Juvi slowly resumed a standing-ish position but is once again flattened. This time by a running knee lift from Joe. Joe is distracted again by Sting, who is now pretending to walk a tightrope up and down the catwalk (which is actually like 4 feet wide, but it’s funny nonetheless) Juvi sees an opportunity and smashes into Joe with a flying elbow. Joe is staggered and tried to shake it off. Juvi jumps at Joe with an attempted hurrancarana but is caught by Joe and held for a few seconds before being pulverised by a sitdown powerbomb. That’ll re-align some vertebrae. Jesus. Now I know how Droz feels. Joe doesn’t go for a pin, but instead begins laying in elbows to Juvi’s head and face. Unique. Joe looks up at Sting in the rafters and flips him the bird. Nice. Joe now picks up Juvi and sits him on the tope rope… what’s he gonna do? Joe begins to CLIMB the corner where Juvi is perched as the crowd alternate between chants of ‘Please Don’t Die’ and ‘Joe’s Gonna Kill You!’ heartless bastards. Joe stands on the second rope and hooks Juvi up in the suplex position before hooking the leg and setting him up for the Muscle Buster from the second rope!

“This is supposed to impress me?”

Joe, as well as the crowd and the announcers all look around… who said that?

Our answers are revealed as we once again cut to the rafters where Sting now has a microphone. He smiles and waves down at Joe.

Sting: “Hey… Island Boy… I’m up here. Yeah… here I am.”

Joe releases Juvi, who just flops to the mat, before scowling upwards at Sting.

Sting: “I have to say… I’m not impressed, Joe. I saw Kevin Nash do the exact same thing ten years ago… I saw Hogan do it ten years before him… and I saw Ric Flair do it ten years before Hogan. You’re not special… hell… you’re not even original. Just finish the job and stop embarrassing yourself.”

The crowd chant ‘Sting! Sting!’ while the heel section chant ‘Joe! Joe!’. Nice bit of crowd action to add to the match.

Joe grabs Juvi and locks in the Kokina Clutch… all the while looking up at the smirking face of Sting.

Joe releases the lifeless body of Juvi as the ref calls for the bell and raises his hand. Joe looks up at Sting who continues to smile.

Sting: “You know Joey… you don’t mind if I call you Joey do ya? You have a lot in common with Goldberg, Hogan, and Flair… your streak will end. I will be the one to end it. I beat Flair when Flair was unbeatable, I beat Hogan when Hogan was on top of the world… and I beat Nash when everybody said he couldn’t be beaten. I’ve beaten them all when the world said it was impossible. I’ve always fought the odds and come out on top. A few weeks ago I would have sat back and watched you with an overwhelming feeling of fear and awe. But now… now you’ve re-lit my flame, awoken my inner demon… and now I don’t fear you Joe. I don’t stand in awe… I stand in disappointment that’s it’s all going to end so soon. Unfortunately for you… on July 16th… one more time… one more match… one more time to defy the odds… one more time to shut up the critics… this Sunday, Joe… it’s SHOWTIME!”

Sting drops the mic into the ring, barely missing Joe, who doesn’t even flinch… just stares directly at Sting with a burning hatred.

Winner: Samoa Joe in 4:23

Rating: N/A Just a squash used to further the Sting/Joe feud.

(Commercial Break)

I had to say… that was intense.

I turned to Val and saw her scanning through my notes. She seemed deep in thought. I continued to watch her, wondering what she thought of my notes. Suddenly she gasped.

“That’s who you’ve got to replace AJ?!”

I shrugged.

“He was the only guy free who wasn’t demanding to squash Aries.”

She seemed genuinely impressed.

“I used to love him in WCW… his WWE run sucked though. Is he a one-shot deal or what?”

I nodded.

“One match, one payday… I said we might be able to discuss a 12 month deal depending on how his match with Aries is received.”

She nodded and smiled.

“I’m sure you won’t have to worry about him delivering. There are plenty of other people on the card who are more than able to stink up the place.”

I had to agree.

The feed returned with Jeremy Borash standing mid-ring… looking like a cross between Tony Schiavone and The Fink.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first… from Charlotte, North Carolina… weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds. Ron ‘The Truth’ Killings!”

‘What’s Up?!’ hits the PA as ‘The Suntan Superman’ charges to the ring and slides in. He grabs the mic from JB and does a 360 degree turn screaming ‘What’s Up?!’ at various sections of the crowd. Nice. Pure charisma.

Killings hands the mic back to JB before busting out some break-dance moves as he awaits Senshi.

‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash: “And his opponent… weighing in at 170 pounds… this is your TNA X-Division Champion… Senshiiiiiii!”

Senshi appears at the top of the ramp and walks smugly to the ring, stopping to taunt the fans. That’s how you get heat. The kick to Daniels’ head earlier had helped too.

Match 3

Senshi vs. Ron Killings

Senshi extends his hand… appearing to want to shake hands with Killings before the match. Don’t fall for it Ron! Doh! Killings reach out to shake Senshi’s hand and gets hit with a dropkick to the jaw... and down goes The Truth. As Killings searches for his teeth on the mat, Senshi stalks him like a lion stalks… some small thing. Killings looks up and is hit with a devastating kick to the chest. Senshi now alternates between kicking Killings in his chest with his left foot and his back with is right foot. Ouch. Cool… but ouch. Senshi picks up RK and land a hard back suplex. Working on the back, eh? Where’s Roderick Strong when you need him? Senshi attempts a rolling splash but Killings sees him coming and puts the knees up right into Senshi’s spine. That’s gotta hurt. Killings now tries to regain control with neckbreaker and a quick legdrop. Killings, however, is no Hulk Hogan and Senshi kicks out at two. Senshi tried to reverse a Killings whip to the ropes but instead is reversed himself… into a sloppy looking hurrancarana… or as Joey Styles would say a ‘hud-a-can-rana’ from Ron Killings. That could of ended badly. Note to Ron Killings… don’t do that again. Killings hooks the leg of Senshi for a quick two count. What exactly is a quick two count? They all seem the same to me. Except Earl Hebner… you ever notice the little kink in his count when he knows the guys gonna kick out? It’s like a normal one and two… but then he lifts his arm right over his head for when the guy kicks out. Lame. Senshi stumbles to the corner and is hit with a nice running leg lariat by Ron Killings. Senshi is down… with the Brown. Haha. Nah… he’s just down. Killings tries to set Senshi up for the Axe Kick… but Senshi moves and nails killings in his lower back with a straight kick. Stiff! Damn. Killings drops to his knees where he’s met by a running doublefooted spike to the head. Killings is down for the two count and Senshi looks pissed. He turns to the referee, Mark Johnson, and NAILS him with a stiff kick to the temple… he’s out. Senshi doesn’t notice RK is now standing behind him and waiting. Don’t turn around Senshi! TAFKALK turns around and is nailed a kick to the gut and a running AXE KICK from Killings! Ghetto blaster baby. With the ref down… there’s nobody to count. Whoops. Uh oh! ‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown has just appeared in the ring! Ron Killings turns around and is floored with the POUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCE-uh (period)! Brown smiles and leaves the ring… allowing a nearly recovered Senshi to ascend the turnbuckles and throw himself off them feet first with what has come to be known as… pain. DOUBLE STOMP!! Senshi just falls onto Killings as Brown grabs Johnson’s hand and slaps it to the mat three times. Interesting. Senshi grabs his belt… always keeping an eye on Brown as he leaves the ring.

Winner: Senshi in 6:53

Rating: *** The ending made sense, but still managed to be a bit tedious.

Brown stays in the ring, kicking Slick Johnson out to the floor as he stand over The Truth.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “Ron… you learned the lesson that everybody will come to learn in TNA. When you walk into the Serengeti… don’t expect to be able to walk out. There’s something big happening… I can feel it… the ascension of The Alpha Male… is underway. Starting with whatever chump you picked to face me at Vic…”

Following the trend of the day… another interruption during an in-ring speech

This time however it’s just a video… with flashing text.

‘Sunday July 16th’

‘The Alpha Male’

‘Enters…’

‘The Lion’s Den’

As quickly as it appeared, the video is gone… leaving Brown standing in the ring… looking dumbfounded.

I was impressed with the show so far, the guys had done a really good job of building up the PPV. Val seemed impressed too.

“I cant wait for Sunday… Victory Road will be awesome!”

I laughed and noticed that she’d made a few notes in my notebook. She quickly closed it and stood up.

“Well… they need me for the next in-ring segment… I’ll see you later Dean.”

She kisses me on the cheek and walked out. I grabbed my notebook and opened it… on the inside cover Val had left a note.

‘543-468 Call me – Val’

Yes indeed, life was good.

The feed resumes with the ring transformed into some sort of interview place. There’s a couch, a desk with a large chair behind it… and a large television screen. Sitting at the desk… wearing a sweet looking suit is your friend and mine… Alex Shelley.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Hello… and welcome to the debut of the greatest chat show in the history of the universe. I’m your host Alex Shelley… and today… sponsored by Paparazzi Productions… allow me to welcome you to… ShellShock TV.”

Alex points to the corner of the screen where a little ShellShock TV logo appears… it’s a kinda magic.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Every week I’ll have all the latest news, views and info on everything TNA related. Of course… no chat-show could be complete without a guest. He is the new face of TNA Management… put your hands together for the very first guest on ShellShock TV… Jim Cornette. Come on down!”

The camera cut to the ramp, where Cornette appeared and began walking down the ramp to the ring.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Jim Cornette ladies and gentlemen! Woo! Yeah.”

Cornette climbs in the ring and shakes hands with Shelley before taking a seat on the expensive looking leather couch. He clasps his hands together and looks around at the set.

Jim Cornette: “Nice set you got here.”

Shelley shrugs.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “It’s mostly Johnny Fairplay’s crap I found in storage.”

Cornette laughs.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “So Jim, d’you mind if I call you Jim?”

Cornette shakes his head.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “What exactly is your official title? We can’t go on calling you ‘the new face of TNA management’ forever.”

Cornette shrugs.

Jim Cornette: “Mr. Cornette will do just fine.”

Shelley looks confused.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “But you just said…”

Cornette laughs.

‘Mr. C’ Jim Cornette: “Actually… I didn’t say anything. You just assumed. You know what they say… when you assume… you make an ass out of you and me.”

Shelley shrugs.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Whatever you say Mr. C, I’m here to serve.”

Shelley does a mock bow.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Ok… I realise that you want the hard-hitting… the tough… the downright scalpel-like questions… cutting to the big answers. So here goes… my first question to you is…”

Shelley takes a deep breath and steadies himself.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Do you like my suit?”

Cornette starts to reply… but then realises what Shelley just said.

Jim Cornette: “What the…”

Alex begins laughing.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “It’s just a joke I threw out there. A little icebreaker… kinda backfired. We’ll work through it, we’re professionals. Seriously, though, the suit… it’s not too flashy is it?”

Cornette smiles.

Jim Cornette: “If I was you… I’d be more worried about your match on Sunday than on what you’re wearing.”

Cornette shrugs.

Jim Cornette: “But hey… that’s just me.”

Shelley doesn’t seem worried.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Ain’t no thang. It’s all taken care of Mr. C… I could win that match with one hand tied behind my back.”

Cornette seems to brighten up when he hears that.

Jim Cornette: “Deal.”

Shelley looks confused and raises an eyebrow slowly…

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Deal? What deal?”

Cornette smirks.

Jim Cornette: “Your mouth just wrote a check… now let’s see if your ass can cash it. In the fourway X-Division ranking match… it will be Chris Sabin versus Roderick Strong versus Jeff Hardy… versus you. You… with one hand tied behind your back that is.”

Shelley jumps out of his chair in protest.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “I never agreed to that… I refuse to do it.”

Cornette stands up and goes to leave.

Jim Cornette: “Well… looks like I’ll have to find someone else to be in the match.”

Cornette steps through the ropes and onto the apron of the ring before Shelley grabs him.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “Wait. Ok I’ll do it… but I have one condition.”

Cornette cant help but smirk.

‘ALX’ Alex Shelley: “If I win… I want to face the winner of the X-Division Championship match… straight after that match is finished.”

Cornette laughs.

Jim Cornette: “You got it kid. If you win, you got an X-Division title match whenever and wherever you want it. If you win… you can face the winner of Senshi/Daniels… immediately after their match. But… if you lose… you face Team 3D on next week’s Impact… in a tables match.”

Cornette brushes some imaginary dust from Shelley’s suit as the crowd explodes.

Jim Cornette: “You know… that really IS a great suit.”

(Commercial Break)

That single interview just proved to me that I had to continue the push of Shelley. Newsflash: ALEX SHELLEY IS A FREAKIN’ STAR IN THE MAKING.

I jotted down a few notes for future reference and glanced at a laminated PPV line-up that Jeff had handed to me last night. I checked for Alex’s name and was shocked when I saw him on the card twice… once in his match… and once hosting ShellShock TV. Live on PPV!

Coming back from the break, we were at the broadcast position as TWS discussed the night’s events.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “What a night it’s been so far… but up next is the icing on the cake!”

‘DW’ Don West: “The new NWA World Champ and The Enigma will team up for the first time ever… to face the former NWA Tag Champions… America’s Most Wanted.”

Sanders rolls his eyes.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “This night has been good… but there were a few things missing which stopped it just before it reached the ‘awesome’ level. For example… we still have no Mexican hat dance from Juventud Guerrera… and now he’s injured… who’s gonna mow my lawn and clean my pool? What about me, Mike? What about me, Don? What about me?!”

Tenay and West roll their eyes.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Don’t forget that Jackass in the rafters nearly killing me with his freakin’ bat! Who does he think he is? Mark McGwire?! Maybe if he’d stayed on the juice he could have hit me with the bat instead of just dropping it and running away.”

Sanders stands up and points to the now empty rafters.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Not so big now are ya? Huh? This Sunday… Sting… you’re gonna be S.O.L!”

Sanders sits back down and turns to Tenay and West.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “And we all know what that means.”

Meanwhile our fight has started as AMW and Hardy/Raven brawl their way down to the ring. They must of started backstage. Raven hasn’t even removed his NWA Title yet and Hardy looks like he just dipped his head in a bucket of paint. Kids these days.

Match 4

Raven and Jeff Hardy vs. AMW

With less than ten minutes of the show left, this match isn’t gonna go long. As the match officially begins, we start with ‘Cowboy’ James Storm facing off with Raven. As usual, we get our trademark ‘Brokeback Mountain’ chant from the crowd. Idiots. Storm takes a headbutt from Raven. Who seems intent on doing as much damage to himself as his opponent. Raven slams James Storm down and motions to the crowd that Storm is queer. Nice. Covers for a quick two count and the jerk holds up the 2 card again. Raven tags out to Jeff Hardy who is just on FI-YAH! As he charges in with kicks and punches and spinny things which I don’t even know the names of. It breaks down in Chinatown as Raven blind tags himself in as Hardy and Harris fall out of the ring… leaving Storm to turn straight into the… Raven Effect. 1....2...3, it's finished. That was quick. But if they really are going to WWE… no point in pushing them

Winner: Raven and Jeff Hardy in 3:12

Rating: N/A

Raven grabs his NWA Title belt and head for the back when he sees CHRIS JERICHO stood atop the ramp clapping. Raven stops and stares at him before we see a dark blur appear behind Raven. Jericho points for Raven to turn around and he cautiously does… straight into a guitar shot from Jeff Jarrett!

Jarrett grabs the title belt and gazes at it longingly as Tenay and West scream.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Raven is down and hurt, Jeff Jarrett is in possession of the NWA Title… and Chris Jericho is still haunting Raven!”

‘DW’ Don West: “What will happen at the PPV? I guess we’ll have to find out! Good night folks!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “TNA out!”

[FULL PPV LINE-UP WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW. FEEDBACK IS BOTH APPRECIATED AND WANTED]

I had been working for TNA for a little under a week and already I was getting to find my way around the job. I still hadn’t seen my dad (his business trip just happened to coincide with my arrival) and Dixie was harder to reach than the complaints department for WalMart, but for the first time in a long time… I was responsible for something… and I was loving every minute of it.

I had only been to one company-wide booking meeting, but already I was deep into my role as co-booker of the X-Division. Both myself and Scott had been immersed in meeting with various X-Division talent, discussing various feuds, matches and possible future storylines. We’d seen a varying degree of opinion with the company… some guys loved it, some guys thought they were overlooked… and some guys just wanted any type of push.

We had over 20 X-Division guys on the roster… and a huge six of them had any sort of character development at all. The only people the fans seemed to care about were AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin, Jerry Lynn, Samoa Joe and Alex Shelley. They didn’t even care about the X-Division champion Senshi… they didn’t seem to react to him at all. Sure, they began cheering him on towards the end of his match with Juvi... but after the match, when he was walking to the back… nothing. No cheers, no boos… nothing at all.

This needs to change. It needs to change right now. We need to build up the X-Division, we need to create new stars… we need new AJ Styles’… we need new Christopher Daniels’… we need new Samoa Joe’s… it’s not gonna be an overnight job… but I will make the X-Division the biggest thing in wrestling… or I will die trying.

You’ve seen the recent push of a couple of X-Division guys… you’ve seen Aries & Strong, you’ve seen Senshi… you’ve seen the beginning of the new X-Division era.

We have ideas… now it’s time to put those ideas into action.

However, our biggest idea was to come to an end before it even started. The X-Division has been ridiculed by the main eventer’s of TNA for too long, and our big plan to put the X-Division over was derailed before it even had a chance to begin.

How, you ask?

Simple… the main man involved in this X-Division movement… had just been injured.

Here’s how it happened.

It started out as a perfect day. I’d rented a car and driven to Universal Studios alone. Sophie had called me at about 9am to say she’d be stuck in a meeting for most the morning. Yes, you read that right, I was up at 9am. Why? Because I loved my job and I had an 11am meeting with some of the X-Division roster.

I went directly to catering and got myself a quick bite to eat before walking to the large meeting room, where nearly all the X-Division guys were already waiting. Punctuality… I like it. As I scanned the faces in the room, making a note of who had attended; I noticed that three of my main guys were missing. This… I didn’t like. Standing at the front of the room, feeling nervous as hell, I questioned the only guy I knew well enough to speak to… our X-Division champion… Senshi. Known to his friends as Bran or Brandon. And I was proud to call him a friend.

“Hey Bran… where the hell are AJ, Chris and Jerry?”

Those of course being AJ Styles, Chris Daniels and Jerry Lynn.

He shrugged.

“I know Jerry is with Jeff and Bill, going over some last minute stuff for today’s show. No idea where AJ or Chris are.”

Great. Just F’n great. My very first X-Division group meeting and the tag champs… two of my biggest X-Division stars don’t even bother to show up. To say I felt pissed off is the understatement of the millennium. To top it all off… where the hell was Scott D’Amore?

I closed my eyes and ran my right hand through my hair… the trademark thing to do in situations like this. There must be a set of rules or something.

I scanned the room and shrugged.

“I guess we’ll just start without them.”

A few of the guys exchanged glances, as if to say ‘How the hell can we start without Scott, Jerry and the tag champs?’

I cleared my throat, sat on the small table at the front of the room and flipped open my notebook. Turning a few pages until I got to the notes I’d made during my meetings with various X-Division talent.

“Ok… now I know you guys don’t respect me, some of you may not even like me, but frankly I couldn’t care less… this isn’t about me and you getting along… this is about me and you guys putting on the best show we possibly can. If you don’t want to excel in this business, if you don’t want to reach for that brass ring, if you don’t want to show the world that the X-Division is the future of this business…”

I stood up and walked to the door, before slowly opening it.

“… then I don’t want you here. You’re free to leave.”

I waited a few seconds to see if anyone made a move towards the door, when nobody did I gave an inwards sigh of relief and smiled.

“The door is always open… but going out of it is a hell of a lot easier than getting back in…”

I shut the door and turned away to continue speaking when the door was barged open by ‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels who looked exhausted… yet relieved to see me. Chris had quickly become one of my favourite people in the few days I’d known him. He was a genuinely nice guy, unlike some of the schmoozers who had tried to kiss my ass in hopes of getting a push. Chris was panting and sweating… he stood taking some deep breaths before grabbing my arm.

“Dean… gotta talk… big…”

I grabbed his arm and tried to calm him down.

“Chris, Chris… relax… take some deep breaths and slow down.”

He took one or two deep breaths and seemed to recover. He grabbed my arm again and began dragging me outside. I was in shock.

“Chris… what’s wrong?!”

He stopped and turned towards me.

“We need to talk.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. I didn’t like the sound of that at all.

When we were safely out of earshot in the hallway, he stopped and turned to me… looking extremely solemn. Almost sad. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach… I knew bad news wasn’t far away. Chris, to his credit, didn’t let me wait long before breaking the news to me.

“AJ’s injured… bad.”

I was in shock.

“What? How?”

Daniels seemed a lot more composed, like a man who had a weight lifted from his shoulders. He was now completely calm.

“He was hurt in a match last night, wrestling Jimmy Rave in ROH. He dived off the rope and went over on his ankle.”

Shit.

“How bad is it?

Chris then gave me the news I knew was coming.

“He’s gonna miss the pay-per-view.”

This was great… just F’n great.

“What’s the shelf-time?”

“6 weeks, maybe more.”

6 weeks without one of my tag champs… 6 weeks without one of my biggest X-Division guys… and a completely ruined angle for Victory Road. Less than a week before the show. My plans were ruined. I’d have to find Aries a new opponent, I’d have to completely reshuffle my post-match angle… and no doubt TNA management would have to seriously consider stripping Daniels and Styles of the titles. The shit had definitely hit the fan. I had to put my brain into overdrive.

I turned back to Daniels and told him to go back to the meeting room and break the news to the other guys. I had some phone-calls to make.

Starting with tracking down Scott.

From PWTorch.com

Jericho shocks wrestling world by signing for TNA.

Chris Jericho, a man many regard as one of the best all-around workers in the world today, sent shockwaves up and down the business today by appearing at an Impact taping and attacking new champion, Raven. Jericho, who many believed was just a few weeks away from coming back to work for WWE, stunned many fans when he viciously attacked Raven after his World Title match.

TNA are already dubbing the attack by Jericho as;

'THE CHAIRSHOT HEARD AROUND THE WORLD'

As of this moment, no TNA officials have been reached for comment, but one thing is for sure. If Chris Jericho has signed a long term contract with TNA... then the new wrestling war has truly begun.

The show kicks off as usual with some serious shilling from Don West and Mike Tenay. The professor is looking especially dapper tonight with a black suit/white shirt combo, while Don West is looking his usual goofy self with a pink silk shirt and orange tie. Quite the odd couple. Let the hysterical shouting commence!

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Welcome to the Impact Zone! What a show we have for you tonight! Not one, but TWO title matches! Take it DW!”

‘DW’ Don West: “That’s right Mike, we have a superb main event. Jarret/Raven. What a match.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Main event for the NWA Heavyweight Championship! Jarrett’s first defence and Raven’s payback for the whole affair with ‘The Living Legend’ Larry Zbyszko.”

‘DW’ Don West: “The new TNA commissioner Jim Cornette made the match last week after his announcement that Jarrett would remain champion after the controversial ending to the Slammiversary show.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Also on the show, another title match made by Jim Cornette as the new X-Division champion Senshi will face an as of yet unnamed opponent.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Speaking of Cornette, Mike. Look at the ramp!”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “There he is! There is the TNA commissioner Jim Cornette! What does he have to say? Let’s take it to the ring.”

I turned to Val as she watched the show and she made a gagging motion with her finger and her mouth as she watched Don West. Finally someone agreed with me that he was a horrendous colour-guy.

I turned my attention back to the screen where Jim Cornette was standing mid-ring with a microphone in hand, looking incredibly pissed off.

‘The New Face of TNA Management’ Jim Cornette: “Now folks, the last thing I want to do is come out here and be the bearer of bad news. But unfortunately I have some pretty bad news for you all tonight expecting to see the new NWA tag champs in action. Due to the actions of Austin Aries and Roderick Strong last week on Impact, AJ Styles suffered a fractured collarbone and will be out of action for at least two weeks. Meaning that he will be unable to defend his half of the tag titles tonight.”

The crowd groaned and so did I. Making Val turn towards me and laugh.

“They’re really building up Austin and Rod, huh?”

I nodded and whispered back to her.

“I just wish AJ was wrestling tonight.”

She gave a shrug and leaned towards me, I felt her hot breath on my neck. It was definitely and exciting experience.

“Don’t worry; he’ll be back from Japan in time for the pay-per-view.”

I looked back the screen where Cornette was trying to calm down the fans.

‘The New Face of TNA Management’ Jim Cornette: “This reminds me of a saying my daddy used to use in situations like this. It goes something like this… ‘When life gives you lemons… make lemonade’… so tonight folks we’re gonna do just that. I’m gonna pencil in Austin Aries to face AJ Styles at Victory Road on July 16th. As far as tonight goes, I’m booking a tag team match where Austin Aries and Roderick Strong will face the team of Christopher Daniels and… Chris Sabin!”

This also caused West and Tenay to scream like two little bitches. Much to mine and Val’s distaste.

Cornette then turned his attention to the announce booth and pointed at Tenay and West.

‘The New Face of TNA Management’ Jim Cornette: “Now you two may be wondering why there’s another chair at your announce position. Well, TNA management has decided that the trial period of a three man announcing team is a good step forwards. So… allow me to introduce you to your new co-commentator. Mike Sanders!”

Tenay and West began screaming again.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Sanders! Mike Sanders! The former commissioner of WCW and member of the old S.E.X group!”

‘DW’ Don West: “We’re getting another announcer?! What does this mean for our futures, Mike?”

Sanders suddenly appeared at the side of Tenay and West and took the empty seat. He looked good, in even better shape than the last time he wrestled in TNA. He was sporting a pretty dapper looking suit and shades. He sat down and put on the headphones.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a new era in TNA. The ‘Above Average’ era.”

West and Tenay didn’t look pleased, but I was. I turned to Val.

“I was such a mark for Mike Sanders in WCW.”

She shrugged.

“Maybe I’ll introduce you to him later.”

Val knew Mike Sanders? I couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of jealousy. Just how did she know him, and just how well?

Meanwhile Sanders was doing his best to rile up his co-commentator Don West.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Hey DW, didn’t see ya there, your shirt kind of blinded me for a second.”

West rolled his eyes and Tenay gave a groan.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Please.”

‘DW’ Don West: “This coming from a man who wears shades indoors.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “When you’re as stylish as me you can get away with it DW. You should let me take you under my wing; I can give you some tips.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Oh… please!”

The camera then cut back to Cornette standing in the ring.

‘The New Face of TNA Management’ Jim Cornette: “Now onto business, tonight you’re gonna see two titles defended. The NWA World Heavyweight title will be on the line as Raven challenges Jeff Jarrett for the belt. But first… fasten your seatbelts as we hit the fast road to some X-Division action. The X-Division title will be on the road as Senshi defends the title against… this man!”

Cornette pointed up the ramp where JUVENTUD GUERRERA(!!!) appeared through the rampway.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “It’s Juventud Guerrera! Former captain of Team Mexico, former WCW Cruiserweight champion.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Juvi against Senshi! What a match we have in store!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Let’s just hope no piñatas or bottles of tequila appear near him.”

‘DW’ Don West: “Would you stop?”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “It’s a weekday, shouldn’t Juvi be taking a siesta like every other Mexican in the country? The guy who cuts my lawn for example.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Allow me to apologise to our Mexican viewers for my colleagues’ lack of respect. We’ll be right back after this commercial break.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Great a commercial break, buy stuff, come back soon though… I think Juventud might actually do the Mexican hat dance when we come back.”

(Commercial Break)

As the commercial break began and the screen turned black (Remember this isn’t airing on TV yet, so there are no commercials), I couldn’t help but remarking how I thought Sanders would really improve the commentary team with his heelish tendencies blended with the good guy bias of Tenay and West. Sophie seemed to agree.

“TNA management is very high on Mike, they think he can rejuvenate Tenay and West.”

Val excused herself to answer her cellphone and left me talking to Sophie while we waited for the show to come back on. She leaned towards me and smiled.

“Seems like you and Val are hitting it off.”

I sensed her implied meaning and shook my head.

“I know what you’re trying to do but I’m not gonna incriminate myself, I’ll just say that she’s great. Any girl who dislikes Don West as much as me is welcome to sit next to me anytime.”

She laughed and sat back in her chair.

“Somebody has a crush.”

I gave her a “Shhh” and luckily the show came back on before she could embarrass me further.

The show came back as Juvi entered the ring and awaited Senshi.

Senshi came to the ring with great fanfare and a wide chorus of… nothingness. Seriously, there was no reaction. No cheers, no boos. It’s like they didn’t know how to react to him. Lame.

Senshi ran to the ring and laid straight into Juvi with a succession of kicks to the thighs, ribs and finally head. Knocking him to the mat. Senshi stood over the top of Juvi taunting him until Juvi swept the legs out from Senshi and climbed to his feet. Senshi then removed his TNA title and passed t to the ref. Juvi applied a headlock to the ffallen Senshi and dragged him to his feet before whipping him to the ropes. Senshi flipped off the ropes with a spinning wheel kick to Juvi's face and Juvi went down again. Like the titanic… only without Kate Winslet getting naked. Tenay said, "You can only get the best X-Division action here on Impact." Yeah or you can download it for free and watch it on your computer. Senshi gave Juvi an elevated tiger suplex and Juvi nearly got snapped in half. Senshi then disrespectfully facewashed Juvi with the sole of his boot. At 3:00 Juvi reversed a Ki-Krusher (or whatever they’re calling it now) into a DDT for a two count. They showed Samoa Joe watching the match backstage. Nice touch. Juvi tried a springboard crossbody but was met with a dropkick by Senshi. Good elevation. Juvi was in agony on the mat as Senshi taunted some ringside fans. A ‘Senshi Sucks!” chant broke out, finally some crowd response. I still hate TNA crowds though. Senshi then picked up Juvi and hit an enziguri for a near fall. Senshi went for a standing dropkick on Juvi, but Juvi rolled out of the way and Senshi slid out of the ring and onto the protective mats HARD. Ouch. Juvi went for a top rope move onto Senshi, but Senshi moved out of the way and Juvi went head and chest first into the guardrail. Juvi is dead. Senshi rolled Juvi back into the ring and covered him for a two fall as Juvi clutched his ribs. Senshi picked Juvi up and hit a gutbuster followed by a fisherman buster, really working on the ribs. Senshi locked Juvi in the dragon clutch and pulled back inhumanely far. Nearly breaking Juvi in half. Referee Andrew Thomas went to call for the bell but Senshi released the hold and stopped him from stopping the match. Unique. Really pushing Senshi as a remorseless, dominating, relentless champion. Senshi refused to let Thomas call for the bell and pulled Juvi to his feet. Senshi picks him up for the Ki-Krusher… or the ‘Senshi Krusher’ if you will, but instead ran into the corner with the Tidal Krush. Senshi then drops Juvi down in the centre of the ring with the Senshi-Krusher. Senshi covers for a two count as he lifts Juvi’s shoulder up himself before the three count. West and Tenay scream at Thomas to stop the match as Senshi climbs to the top rope and cups his ear as the fans begin to chant “Double Stomp”. The fans are idiots, first nothing, and then he sucks; now they love him. Senshi comes off the top rope with the trademark double stomp crushing and possibly breaking Juvi’s ribs before covering him for the three count. Dominant first title defense by Senshi.

Winner: Senshi in 9:25

Rating: *** Extended squash but great way to showcase Senshi. The relentless assault and stopping the ref from calling for the bell were nice touches. The showing of Samoa Joe backstage really added to the feeling of the match

(Commercial Break)

I can’t tell you just how good that match was to watch live. Senshi truly is a star. Both myself, Sophie and Val applauded the match, and the applause got even louder when Senshi came down the corridor and into the dining area and grabbed a bottle of water from the ice-bucket.

He sat down on the spare seat in front of me and exhaled a large sigh if contentment. I slapped him on the shoulder and he turned towards me.

“Great match, man.”

He gave me a strange look and then smiled.

“You’re the new guy aren’t you?”

I shrugged.

“That’s me, new guy, co-booker for the X-Division all-around good guy.”

He shook my hand and pushed his chair back so that he was now between me and Sophie, who was busy talking to a dark haired female. He still had his belt over his shoulder and he glanced down at it.

“So, I guess that means you own my ass then?”

I couldn’t help but laugh and I glanced over at the belt myself. He noticed my stare and handed the belt to me… it was truly a beautiful thing. I passed the belt back to him and watched as Impact came back on the air. With a stern-faced Sting stood in pitch darkness, the only telling feature being the eerie glow of his white face paint and the almost invisible black face paint which blended into the background making it look like Sting’s head was floating in mid-air. Cool effect. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Sting: “You know for over a decade I have been in this business, I have bled, I have sweat and I have shed tear after tear. I have faced everyone who has every stepped in the ring with me, and I have faced them without fear and without hesitation. They all shared one thing in common… I respected them all. What I do not respect… is unprovoked attacks, unnecessary violence and complete disregard for the oath we take as wrestlers. That oath is simple; leave the business in the ring and do not make this personal. You broke that oath Joe, you made this personal. When you attacked an innocent man just to send a message to me, when you attacked me… an unprovoked attack I might add… you broke the oath and you broke all the rules. I tried to tell you that I have no idea who played the music in your X-Division title match, I tried to tell you that I wasn’t involved.”

He smiled.

Sting: “It seems that you got all the brawn, but no of the brains, Joe. I tried to act like a man, I tried to take you aside and explain my side of the story. You wouldn’t listen. You attacked me from behind, you choked me out in the middle of the ring… but you made a mistake. You left me breathing. That is something you have in common with all the guys I’ve face in my career… you didn’t kill me. I don’t know why you hate me, Joe. I don’t know why you did what you did. I have absolutely no idea why you took it upon yourself to attack me and to try to provoke me by attacking Christian. I only know this… you will pay for it. You’ve woken a sleeping giant, you’ve re-awakened a sense of rage in me… and you have made me angry… and you wont like me when I’m angry, Joe. You won’t like it at all. It seems like your undefeated streak hasn’t taught you anything. It seems that you have learned nothing from your peers, and have taken in absolutely nothing that your elders have said to you. You think that you’ve seen all I have to give? You’ve seen nothing. You think that I’m washed up? You think that I’m finished? You hate me… because you think I’m taking your spot? Because you think I’m holding you down? Because you think I’m stopping you from being all that you can be? I’ve been hearing that same crap for ten years. Well I’ve got news for you Joe… I don’t want your spot… I want you to excel… I want you to be all that you can be. This business needs new stars… but it needs stars that respect the history of this business!”

Sting gets extremely close to the camera and his voice rises to just below a shout.

Sting: “You want a match Joe? You think you can make your name off mine? That’s fine with me. I got one more good match in me, Joe! I’ll walk that aisle on more time and I will show you what you have done… what you have awoken! Sunday July 16th… it’s Showtime.”

The scene fades to black as Sting begins maniacally laughing.

(Commercial Break)

Myself, Val and the X-Division champion were all in agreement that that was by far Sting’s best promo in years. I couldn’t hide my excitement at seeing Sting so rejuvenated.

“This feud with Joe has lit a fire under Sting’s ass.”

Val seemed to agree.

“I think Sting just became cool again.”

The X-Champion laughed and clapped his hands as he turned to me.

“In the business… we call that a money promo.”

I was inclined to agree. Awesome segment.

Coming back from the commercial break as Sanders, Tenay and West went over the previous half hour of Impact.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “What a show so far! We’re only halfway through!”

‘DW’ Don West: “I couldn’t have said it better, Mike. What a show!”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “I think I speak for everyone when I say this… Sting, (laughs and sings mockingly) Joe’s gonna kill you.”

Tenay and West roll their eyes and try to ignore their partner.

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “Up next, we have a grudge match as ‘The Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels, attempts to get redemption on the team of Strong and Aries for their assault and subsequent injury of his NWA Tag Team Championship partner ‘The Phenomenal’ AJ Styles.”

‘DW’ Don West: “You’ve got to believe that Daniels is out for vengeance… and he’s got just the guy to help him out in Chris Sabin.”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “The Future and The Fallen Angel team up to face the rookies Austin Aries and Roderick Strong.”

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Say what you want about Aries and Strong, but you simply cannot deny their tactical genius. Take out one of the Tag Champions and force the other to come after you in retaliation. Just think if they put Daniels on the shelf too… who would be handed the Tag Titles? Answer… Aries and Strong.”

Cut to the ramp where Aries and Strong were making their entrance. They look like stars, they act like stars, and they carry themselves like stars. They are stars. Tenay also pointed out that Strong’s nose had been broken by Sonjay Dutt last week and was the reason why he had a small bandage across it. He’s hardcore.

Daniels and Sabin entered the arena to the music of Daniels. They ran straight to the ring and instantly began brawling with Aries and Strong. Bah Gawd! Aries and Daniels fall through the ropes and begin brawling on the outside of the ring. Meanwhile, Strong and Sabin exchange open handed slaps mid-ring. I’ve seen pimps who threw less hard looking slaps. Strong catches him with a strong-arm clothesline and floors him. The camera cuts to ringside where we’ve just missed Daniels smash Aries in the face with a straight punch. Aries and Daniels disappear backstage, leaving Strong and Sabin battling in the ring. Sabin tries a springboard clothesline, but is caught with a backbreaker by Strong. Simply amazing move. We get to see a replay as West and Tenay practically declare Chris Sabin dead. Strong backs away from Sabin as the ref makes sure he’s till breathing. He’s aliiiiiive. So Strong walks over and kicks him in the head. Nice. Strong then picks Sabin up by his head and basically murders him again with a standing vertical suplex. Holding him in air for a Mike Sanders count of seven hundred and sixty nine… Tenay said it was more like twelve. I’m inclined to believe Sanders… cos it sounds better. Sabin looked out on the mat as Tenay reminded us of him injuring his back in the match with Nash at Slammiversary. Nice story to give as he gets absolutely owned by Strong. Sabin is caught with a succession of backbreakers by Strong. Let’s call it… the Strong Series. He stalks Sabin, who slowly gets back to his feet, before absolutely nailing him with a half-nelson backbreaker. Strong then follows that with the Stronghold, his elevated Boston crab, for the tapout. Strong and Aries sure are getting a strong push… but speaking of Aries… where is he?

Winner: Austin Aries and Roderick Strong in 6:00

Rating: ** Dominant appearance by Strong, it seems like they are getting a big push in the Tag Division.

We cut backstage where Aries and Daniels are still brawling; Daniels begins getting the better of Aries and gets him to the floor. Daniels begins nailing punches and kicks to Aries as this brawl goes to a whole new level. Suddenly, Daniels is lifted off the floor by a pair of giant hands and thrown into a nearby wall. This gives Aries a chance to get back to his feet and he waits for Daniels to get to his feet before sending in the giant man again. The giant (who seems somewhat familiar, but his back to us), goes right after Daniels with a succession of hard-hitting punches as Aries clears a nearby table. Aries directs traffic as the unknown giant plants Daniels right through the table with a CHOKESLAM. That was a pretty cool visual. Aries pulls back the big guy as we hear a familiar laugh echo down the hall and the camera pulls back to reveal ‘Father’ James Mitchell?! Mitchell shakes hands with Aries as the giant turns round to reveal a snarling ABYSS. They all disappear down the darkened corridor as Daniels writhes in agony on the floor. West and Tenay debate the new partnership of Abyss and the ROH alumni as we cut back to the ramp. Where Monty Brown is making his way to the ring.

‘DW’ Don West: “Here comes the Alpha Male… but what about what we just saw?”

‘The Professor’ Mike Tenay: “The Monster Abyss, seemingly joining forces with Austin Aries and Roderick Strong… all under the watchful eyes of ‘Father’ James Mitchell. But why?”

Sanders now just burns both Tenay and West and makes them look like idiots.

‘Above Average’ Mike Sanders: “Gee… I wonder why. Maybe it’s because Abyss is the biggest guy on the roster. Maybe it’s because James Mitchell is the most intelligent. It’s always better to have the biggest kid in the schoolyard on your team when you go to war.”

Monty Brown is now in the ring, and has a mic. Here’s a quick equation for you.

Monty Brown + Microphone Time = Ratings.

I turned to Senshi (or Brandon as he told me was his real name) and told him how I thought they were really doing a good job of pushing new guys on this show. He shrugged.

“We definitely need it. There’s only so many times you can see the same few guys in the same few matches.”

I had to agree. Turning back to the ring, Monty Brown was pacing around looking extremely agitated as half the fans chanted ‘Alpha Male’ while the other half chanted ‘Sucks’ after them. Cute.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “Shut up! You know I’ve been coming out here week after week… day after day… watching, and waiting. Waiting for someone to accept my open contract… waiting for someone to step up. Last week, Jim Cornette said that my open contract had been filled… and I’d find out at a Victory Road who my next victim would be. I say… the time for showing faces is now.”

West and Tenay speculated that Monty Brown had bitten off more than he could chew with the open contract match and was regretting it. Possibly, West decided, he was even scared. I hereby start the ‘Monty Brown should POUUUUUUNCE-uh (period) the crap out of Don West’ Club. Monty turned towards the face ramp and waited. How does he know that his opponent isn’t a bad guy?

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “You do not want me to come find you. Show your face, be a man. You’re just another weak carcass in my way. The Serengeti is littered with hundreds of my victims…”

Before Brown could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by a familiar song on the PA. The fans all join in with the song ‘What’s Up!?’ as RON ‘The Truth’ KILLINGS. Appears on the rampway and Monty Brown looks shocked. The music stops and ‘The Truth’ pulls a mic from his back pocket.

Ron ‘The Truth’ Killings: “What’s up?!”

The crowd, sheep that they are, all chant ‘What’s up?!’

Ron ‘The Truth’ Killings: “Monty Brown, y’all can change yo’ pants later. I’m not your opponent for Victory Road. So quit your shakin’, quit your quakin’ and quit your bellyachin’!”

Brown doesn’t look happy.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “If you’re not stepping up… then get stepping out. This is my time.”

Killings laughs.

Ron ‘The Truth’ Killings: “I’m out here because I know who your opponent is… and I just came to wish you good luck. You’ll need it.”

Killings turns around to leave.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “Who? Who am I facing? How the hell do you know?”

Killings turns back towards Brown and shrugs.

Ron ‘The Truth’ Killings: “I’ve had a few matches with him in my day… some right here in TNA. JC just wanted to make sure that he’d made the right choice. So I told him… y’all made the perfect choice.”

Brown explodes in rage.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “Tell me! Tell me who it is.”

Killings just walks away.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “Whoever you are, I hope you’re watching this… because on July 16th… so help me God… you will feel the….”

Brown takes an extremely deep breath before screaming.

‘The Alpha Male’ Monty Brown: “POUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCCCCCCCE-uh… Period.”

He throws the mic down as we once again cut to a commercial break.

I turned to Val and asked if she knew who Brown’s opponent was for Victory Road, she shrugged and shook her head.

“It’s some big secret; they want it to be like this big surprise.”

I turned to Brandon who was asking the same question to Sophie. I asked him who he thought it was. He shrugged.

“Could be anyone… Corino, Bam Bam, Buff, D’Lo… anyone.”

I contemplated who it would be, before excusing myself to go to the bathroom.

I entered the bathroom just as a familiar man exited, he seemed to be in somewhat of a rush but I was positive I recognised him. He was gone before I even thought to speak. Had I imagined seeing him? I must have imagined it. There’s no way he could be here… no way. I’d heard a fair bit about his heat with Jarrett. Would he really sign him up? There are only a few true superstars left in this business but that guy is definitely one of them. I just hoped I hadn’t imagined it.

I came back from the bathroom just as Raven was making his entrance. He looked rejuvenated, like a new man. He’d even stopped wearing that ridiculous big shirt thing when he wrestled. Here he was looking in the best shape of his life, wearing his old trunks and skirt-thing combo. He looked intense. He entered the ring and did his classic crucifixion pose as he awaited Jarrett. I was going to ask Val and Brandon about the guy I’d just seen but I didn’t know for sure if I’d really seen him. I thought he was retired, or at least out of the country. They’d think I was crazy.

Jarrett was the next man out, complete with NWA World Heavyweight title belt. He was alone though as Tenay and West told us that Cornette had banned all TNA contracted workers from ringside. Interesting. Sanders complained that the King of the Mountain needed his subjects to support him during this title match since Raven had a few hundred supporters at ringside. Good point. Tenay countered by saying that if Jarrett wasn’t such a jerk he’d have a lot more supporters. Also a good point.

The bell rang and this title match began. Hoo-rah! West seemed to take a potshot at WWE by saying “you don't get a phony face-to-face staredown in TNA”. Tenay noted that Gail Kim was out injured after the Blackhole Slam by Abyss… who is being portrayed as an out of control ass kicking machine. Which is how he should be portrayed. Early in the match, Raven tried to hit the Raven Effect DDT, but Jarrett reversed it into a short-arm clothesline. The announcers noted that Jarrett has beaten everyone at some point, including a pinfall victory over Raven just a few short weeks ago in the KOTM qualifiers. It’s things like this that separate TNA from WWE. Actual reference to the past matches. If this was WWE we’d hear Jim Ross say how this was the first time they’d ever faced each other, even though they had a match a few weeks ago. Sanders mentioned some notable moments in Raven’s career, including winning the NWA title. Strange how they didn’t mention the ECW title now that it’s been made active again in McMahonland. They brawled to the floor at one point and Sanders pointed out that Raven prefers to be out of the ring, he’s comfortable fighting around it. It's the little things that separate you from the competition. Jarrett was just throwing punch after punch before suplexing Raven on the protective mats. Ouch. He rolled Raven back in the ring and covered for a quick two count.

I turned to Val and asked her where Jarrett’s guitar was. She shrugged.

“I guess Cornette banned the guitar too.”

Jarrett hit a pair of kicks to the head and then picked Raven up in a DDT position before dropping to the mat. Jarrett just nailed Raven with his own move! Copyright Infringement! Tenay noted that Raven had mastered the art of the DDT, while Jarrett just dropped down. Nice touch on commentary. Jarrett covered for a two count and seemed pissed off that Raven kicked out. I guess Tenay was right about the DDT. Jarrett again covered Raven, this time also getting a two count. Three more two counts and Jarrett just stood up and stamped on Raven’s face. One more like that and he’ll end up like Roderick Strong after a Sonjay Dutt spinkick. Jarrett picked up Raven and whipped him to the ropes, but Raven caught him with a series of running clotheslines before the ‘Mr. Wrestling II’ knee-lift. Trademark Raven. Jarrett his Raven with a mulekick as Raven applied a sleeper and set him up for The Stroke. Raven, however, reversed this and nailed Jarrett with a Stroke of his own. How gay did that sound? Raven doesn’t cover and instead falls down in obvious exhaustion and pain after the kick to the balls he took earlier. The ref begins counting out both men, getting to 8 before Raven climbs to his feet and picks Jarrett up. Raven whips Jarrett into the corner and follows him with the clothesline, bulldog combo. He covers for a two count. Some smartass in the crowd holds up a big sign saying ‘2’… jerk. Jarrett regains control with a rake to the eyes followed by a bodyslam. Raven is down and our replay shows Raven’s foot catching the ref in the face and knocking him out cold. It amazes me how refs take such huge bumps off such light touches. Imagine if they got Pounced or Black Hole Slammed… they’d be dead. Anyway, Jarrett sees the referee down and smirks before heading out of the ring and over to the announce table where his NWA title is sitting. Tenay refuses to give the title to Jarrett and gets a smack in the mouth for his troubles, before Sanders gladly gives the belt to Jarrett. Adding “Go get him champ”, as Jarrett walks back to the ring. This just in, I love Mike Sanders. Jarrett rolls back into the ring and stalks Raven with the NWA title as Raven struggles to his feet. Jarrett taunts Raven for a while before running at him with the belt. Raven, however, dodges the belt attack and trips Jarrett up with a drop-toehold. Jarrett’s face smacks right into his World title and Raven covers him. But referee Mike Posey is still down. Uh oh. Here comes referee Slick Johnson who slides into the ring, wearing those RIDICULOUS shorts, he counts to two before clutching his arm in pain and rolling around the mat. Raven, gentle soul that he is, picks up Johnson and nails him with a Raven Effect DDT before rolling him out of the ring. Nice. The distraction supplied by Johnson proves to be effective, as Jarrett catches Raven turning round with a Stroke! ‘That could be it!’ screams West. Meaning that obviously that’s not it. Posey takes a while to regain his senses and begins his count.

1… 2… Kickout.

Both myself and Val were starting to get extremely into this match and began shouting encouragement to Raven, much to the enjoyment of Sophie and Brandon… who began to mock us by screaming ‘Go Raven!’ in high pitched voices. Jerks.

Jarrett is distraught that Raven kicked out, as Posey once again falls to the mat still holding his face. Jarrett makes the cut-throat gesture and positions Raven for The Stroke onto his NWA title belt. Hardcore. HOWEVER, Raven reverses the Stroke into a Raven Effect! Jarrett’s head really connected with the NWA World Heavyweight belt! Raven covers… Mike Posey recovers in record time and begins his count.

1… 2… 3!

Ring the bell!

Winner: AND NEEEEEEEEW NWA World Heavyweight Champion! Raven in 13:29

Rating: *** Great TV match, but seemed to be building up to something and not just putting Raven over.

Mike Posey handed Raven the NWA Title as he, and the fans celebrated. I was just about to turn to Val tell her how great the show was when I saw someone slide into the ring behind Raven. Was that… Christian?! He was wearing the Captain Charisma robe with the hood obscuring his face… but a very clear steel chair in his hand.

Raven turned round to a face full of steel and was down. That was probably the second hardest chair shot I have ever seen… the Raven/Dreamer chairshot was the most brutal, but my God… that was an impact. Jesus. The man then pulled back his hood to reveal the smiling face of CHRIS JERICHO!?!?!? I knew it! I knew I’d seen him.

Jericho grabbed Raven’s belt and gazed at it strangely before mocking his crucifixion pose, as a dumbfounded Jeff Jarrett sat recovering on the ramp.

We faded to black with West and Tenay asking why Jericho was here, and Sanders saying that he obviously wanted that belt.

Wow.

I turned to a shocked looking Val, Brandon and Sophie… who seemed just as shocked as me that Chris Jericho was here. It was Sophie who spoke first.

“Damn… Dixie really kept that quiet.”

Brandon laughed and tapped his belt.

“At least he’s not after this.”

We shared a laugh and I looked over at Val who seemed to be strangely quiet. I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned.

“Great show, huh?”

She gave me a small smile and nodded. I checked my watch and gave an audible… ‘Shit’. I turned to my fellow show-watchers and stood up.

“Duty calls.”

I gave both Val and Sophie a peck on the cheek before myself and Brandon walked off.

I had work to do…

We met with Scott D’Amore back at the booking room and he ushered is inside as we had our meeting with the man we were hoping to build the X-Division around.

“Ok Brandon… here’s the plan…”

[Ok guys, that was my first (real) show. Hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is always nice. Let's me know that there are actually people reading this.]

As I was physically dragged down what seemed like miles of corridors my nerves began to grow. Would we be late? Would we be early? Who would be there? What would my job be?

Sophie coughed to attract my attention and pointed to a nearby door.

“Ok, there’s the room where the meeting will be. They’re expecting you.”

She began to walk away. To say I was confused was an understatement.

“You’re not coming in with me?”

She gave me a dismissive wave.

“You’ll be fine, besides I’m not allowed in there. It’s only for the bookers and the higher-ups. My job is talent relations and general people management. Have fun though.”

She seemed to be in a rush so I gave a shrug and walked towards the door. Here goes.

I was just about to knock when the door was opened from within and stood face to face with a smiling blonde haired man who opened the door fully. I couldn’t believe who I was looking at, I hadn’t expected to be face to face with the World Champion yet, but here I was. Standing barely two feet away from ‘The King of the Mountain’ himself, Jeff Jarrett. He stuck out his hand and I gladly shook it, I was a big Jarrett fan, especially his WCW run. I even still had a ‘Slapnutz’ shirt hidden away in my closet back home.

“You must be Dean, welcome to the madhouse.”

“It’s a pleasure Mr. Jarrett.”

He gave me a strange look, as if he wasn’t used to being given such polite responses and then laughed.

“God, don’t call me Mr. Jarrett, that’s my dad. Jeff will do just fine. Hell, I’m not THAT old.”

The room burst out laughing and I couldn’t help joining in. I know that there has been some negative things written about Jeff Jarrett over the course of the last few years, but I can honestly say that within two minutes of meeting him I knew they were all just bullsh*t internet rumours. Jeff then began introducing me to the several men who were sitting around the large table in the room, I recognized a few but not all of them.

“You probably recognize these two maniacs from TV, allow me to introduce Mike Tenay and Jeremy Borash.”

I was a big fan of Mike Tenay and told him so as I shook his hand. He seemed genuinely pleased that I wasn’t some snotty punk rich-kid.

“Looking forward to working with you, kid.”

Next was JB, who I had seen countless times as the interviewing face of TNA. I couldn’t help but wonder if Valerie was there to take his place and how he felt about that.

Jeff then went around the table introducing the other three men sitting there. Dutch Mantell, a guy I’d never seen before but I’d definitely heard of him. Bill Banks, who seemed a nice enough guy even if he did keep checking his watch every ten seconds. Finally, Jeff introduced me to the red and white tracksuited man sitting to the left of me.

“And this… is Scott D’Amore.”

I shook his hand and commented on how I was shocked about the dissolving of Team Canada. He laughed and shrugged.

“That’s the business.”

Now that the ice was broken, I had to say that I felt extremely comfortable sitting in on this booking meeting as it began. For the first time in my life, I actually felt like I belonged. This was where I was meant to be.

Jeff indicated the seat next to D’Amore and I sat down anxiously waiting to see how the meeting would go.

Jeff stood at the head of the table with a large flip-chart behind him. He seemed like a man who was in total control of his environment, I had to admire that. He flipped over the chart and it seemed we were starting with the X-Division. The flip-chart had the following quickly and roughly written on it;

Jeff started out by turning to me and D’Amore. He smiled and tapped the phrase ‘X-Division’.

“Ok, kid. This is you and Scott.”

Holy shit. I was going to be helping book the X-Division? I thought I was just going to be sitting there and listening to the others book the show, but here I was… under the tutelage of ‘Coach’ Scott D’Amore… booking for the X-Division. I didn’t know what to say, luckily Jeff started talking again.

“Ok guys, we know that the only thing that truly separates us from the competition is the matches we put on. Exciting, enjoyable matches… and the majority of those matches are from our X-Division. So, what we need to do to truly show WWE and other companies that we mean business is to build up our X-Division. To do this we need to achieve several goals. We need to create new stars, stars who people maybe haven’t even heard of before. Maybe even sign a few new X-Division workers. We need to push our existing X-Division stars and get the some spotlight, and some much needed character development. The recent push of Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley and others has shown that the crowd want us to push X-Division stars too. I mean did you guys hear the crowd when Chris picked Big Kev up? That’s what we want. That’s what we need. We need new and innovative matches, there’s only so many times a crowd can see the same Ultimate X match before they begin shitting all over it. We should save it for really big occasions from now on, let’s not bastardize it like WWE has done with the Cell. We need some big money feuds, we succeeded at this before and we can do again. The crowd want X-Division feuds, great matches and great competitors. To do that we need to build around the champ. Senshi can be the man to take the X-Division to the next level, we need to seriously build him as a top heel star. Suggestions?”

I kept my mouth shut as Scott took his pen out of his mouth and spoke.

“I think we should put him over some established heavyweights to show that the X-Division isn’t just about small guys. We need to show that the X-Division guys can take it to the heavyweights if we want anyone to take the division seriously.”

Jarrett nodded with approval. Then followed it with the last question I ever expected to come out of his mouth.

“What do you think Dean?”

My mind instantly went to work.

“I completely agree with Scott, to build up the X-Division we need to show that the little guys can compete with the heavyweights. I think we should book Low-Ki… uh I mean Senshi against a heavyweight or two.”

Jarrett once again nodded. Mike Tenay now took his turn to speak.

“How about we book him against Killings? He’s a heavyweight who can work the X-Division style.”

Everyone seemed to like the idea, but Scott seemed somewhat reluctant to accept Killings as a challenger.

“RK is coming off a huge push from King of the Mountain, do we really want to sacrifice his push in favour of Senshi?”

Murmurs ran around the table before Bill Banks threw in his idea.

“Well we’ve got an X-Champ who can’t afford to lose against a worker who’s just coming off a main event match. It’s a catch-22 situation. We need interference. Nothing to take away from Senshi’s victory, but we need Killings to save some face.”

Scott stood up and grabbed his files from the table.

“Let me and the kid work on it over lunch and I’ll run it by you before the show starts. We’ve got a week to iron out the creases anyway. You guys focus on the Heavyweight and Tag guys and let us worry about the rest.”

There were nods of approval and Jarrett shook my hand as myself and Scott left the booking room.

“Welcome to TNA, kid.”

[Posting of lunch with Scott D'Amore and the July 6th edition of Impact are imminent so don't worry. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED]

From PWTorch.com

TNA cuts its losses with release of several stars.

In what may seem a pretty standard summer-clearing out to wrestling fans, TNA has decided to release several of its starts in the wake of massive expenditure. The official statement at the TNAWrestling.com website says;

This morning, Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling has terminated the contracts of several stars by mutual consent. The following stars left TNA this morning;

- Lance Hoyt

- Larry Zbyszko

- Armando Quintero

- Bob Armstrong

TNA wishes all workers well in their future endeavours.

In what may seem a shock to TNA fans, BG James has also been allowed out of his contract. It seems that it’s only a matter of time before WWE come knocking to add some much needed nostalgic power to their newly reformed Degeneration X group. Kip James (the former Billy Gunn) is also widely expected to leave TNA within the week.

The landing was a lot smoother than I had anticipated. I guess a life of first class travels across America in passenger jets still can’t prepare you for a flight in a small private jet. The feeling of having the plane all to myself was slightly claustrophobic, yet strangely enjoyable. The flight itself went pretty quickly thanks to the in-flight entertainment I was supplied.

I understand that my life may still be somewhat of a mystery to whoever will be reading this, but I’m sure it will all become much clearer as time goes on.

For now, all you need to know is that the plane has landed and that my presence has been requested by my father.

I never even got the chance to thank, or even see, the pilot after the plane had landed. The engines had been barely stopped for two minutes when the flight door was opened and smartly dressed man entered the plane and stood waiting for me to stand up. He didn’t utter a single word, but his facial expression and body language seemed to insist that I leave the plane.

I pocketed the DVD and the PDA and exited the plane, using the small steps. which had automatically descended when the door was opened. I was confused as to how the smartly dressed man had opened the door when it was a clear ten feet from the floor until I realised that the pilot must of opened the door from the cockpit. Like I said earlier, my dad is known for his love of modern technology.

It was dark outside, wherever we were. I checked my watch but was interrupted by the smartly dressed man behind me as walked down the steps.

“It’s 4:15am. Welcome to Miami.”

As my feet hit the asphalt of the small runway, the smartly dressed man moved past me and walked away, I wondered where he was going until my eyes adjusted to the darkened climate and I saw a long black limo at the side of the runway, hidden away on a small service road. I had to jog to keep up with the smartly dressed man who opened the back door of the limo and ushered me inside, before shutting the door after me.

My guess that he was the driver was affirmed as I heard the front door of the limo open and close.

It was then, and only then, that I turned my attention to the interior of the limo, and turned straight into the deeply intense face of a far from casually dressed blonde woman. Clad in black trousers and a white blouse, she seemed to exude authority and confidence. Seeming to snarl when she talked she was a very scary individual indeed.

“So now that your money has run out you’ve come crawling back to Daddy, huh?”

My brain didn’t seem to be working and it took me a few seconds to register what she’d said.

“What?”

She gave a small smirk and looked at me directly in the eye.

“I know all about you, Dean. Your mother, your lifestyle, your lack of responsibility. You walked away from your family, and now that you’re broke you come skulking back. You were a mistake, and you have caused my father and this family nothing but embarrassment with your actions. The leaking to the press that you were the son of Robert Carter, the late night parties with all the C-list sluts, and don’t think your money problems are a secret to anyone. We know that you owed money to dozens of casinos, casinos that your own father had to payoff out of his own pocket. If you think I’m just going to sit here and let you blow more of my father’s money aswell as trying to take my own then you are extremely mistaken.”

Who was this woman?

“Listen, I don’t know who you are but you have it all wrong. My dad invited me here…”

“My father invited you here to keep you on a leash, keep you where you wouldn’t cause as much trouble for the family.”

“Trouble? I’ve never caused…”

“Please. Your relationship with Nicky Hilton was an embarrassment to this family and caused nothing but trouble for my father. Your lack of responsibility has caused nothing but trouble for this family. You have caused nothing but trouble for this family. You aren’t even a part of this family. You are a stain on the name Carter. You are a stain on my name, you are a stain on my father’s name, you are a stain on this family’s name.”

Who the hell was this woman? And how exactly was I part of her family?

“What? Who are you?”

She shook her head slowly.

“How stupid are you? Don’t you read any newspapers? Don’t you watch and television? Don’t you even know your own Half-Sister?”

Suddenly… it all became clear. This woman, this spiteful vicious woman… was my sister. Dixie Carter.

“Wait… Dixie?”

“Finally. It amazes me that we share a father.”

She was pushing all the right buttons and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

She gave a slight laugh and sat back on the seat.

“That’s quite a temper you have there. You need to keep that in check. As far as ‘Who the hell I am’… well, Dean… I’m your new boss.”

Damn. I forgot about that.

“Dixie, what…”

“That’s Mrs Carter to you.”

Was she serious?

“Listen, we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot here but…”

It seemed like even my voice irritated her. What a bitch.

“No buts. I don’t want you here, nobody wants you here. The only reason you’re even here is so you don’t cause any more trouble for the family. So just shut up and listen.”

I shut up, and I listened.

“It was my idea to rein you in before you did anymore damage to the family name but it was not my idea for you to work for my company. You can thank our father for that. If you think for one second that I will stand idly by and watch you mess up my company then you are even more of an idiot than I had figured. Don’t think you’ll be the big man in the company just because you’re a Carter. You’ll sit down, shut up and listen to what everybody has to say. You will not speak unless spoken to, you will not do anything without company approval and you will not screw with my company. This is my world, and you will act accordingly. We’ll start you off small, and if you can stay out of trouble and stop wasting your life maybe… MAYBE… you can do something worthwhile and make me some money. But I want you to know this, if I even sense that you are bunking off of doing any serious work… then you will be out on your ass. I don’t care what the old man says, if you mess up this chance you are on your own. Do not fuck with my company.”

I was sat in stunned silence for what seemed like an hour while the car continued to speed on through the early morning.

I was just about to question Dixie further when the car suddenly stopped and my door was opened.

Dixie turned away and looked out of her window, disinterested.

“Well it’s been great catching up, bro. Sweet dreams.”

I exited the car and looked around, I was standing in-front of a Hilton hotel. Great, that’s all I need. I hope Nicky or Paris aren’t checked in here. The door was slammed behind me as the limo screeched off and I was suddenly face to face with an attractive brunette who somehow looked strangely familiar.

“Hey Dean. How was your flight?”

She had made record time, but here she was to greet me infront of the Miami Hilton hotel and the sun hadn’t even risen yet.

“My flight was great thanks… Miss McCall.”

“Please, call me Sophie.”

“Well Sophie, what now?”

She giggled and turned around.

“Now, we get you checked in.”

I shrugged and followed Sophie into the reception area of the hotel.

As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, I’m pretty familiar with the Hilton chain of hotels. I knew that I would have had a room reserved under the name Carter. Sophie seemed to know this too as she told the clerk that the room was in the name Carter, and was already paid for. It seemed my dad… or even Dixie, had taken care of all my needs.

“It’s room 301. It’s the presidential suite. It should suit you just fine.”

Sophie’s laugh was a welcome sound after the previous few hours and that in itself struck me as amusing.

The difference between the woman standing infront of me, and the snake-woman who had picked me up in the limo was unbelieveable. Dixie, with her spiteful insults and hatefilled rants. Sophie with her gentle demeanour and good sense of humor.

Sophie handed over my key and pressed the call button for the elevator.

“OK Dean. I’m gonna take off now that I’ve got you all sorted out. The car will pick you up out front at 1pm. That should give you time to sleep and have something to eat. I’ve arranged for the hotel to give you a wake up call at 11:30. It’s 5am now, so you should have a good few hours rest. See you later.”

I kissed Sophie on the cheek and thanked her for all of her help before entering the elevator and the sliding doors once again cut me off from human contact.

A wave of exhaustion hit me as I exited the elevator on the third floor and semi-stumbled towards my room. Fumbling about with my room key for a few seconds before I could successfully unlock the door before collapsing on my bed into the welcoming darkness of the unconscious.

From NoDQ.com

IMPACT FOR JUNE 29

The show was opened with Jeff Jarrett already standing in the ring, demanding that Jim Cornette come out and face him like a man. It is never a good sign when Jarrett starts a show. It’s like TNA 2004 all over again. Jarrett said he wouldn’t leave the ring until his belt was returned to him. Tenay and West speculated that Jarrett would wreck the whole show if he didn’t get what he wanted. What? They’ve only just noticed that? Jarrett has been wrecking the show for three years. I’m not saying he doesn’t warrant a main event push, but the sole focus should NOT be on Jeff Jarrett. As Jarrett waited for Cornette, he was interrupted by Christian Cage’s Evanescence rip-off music. Copyright Infringement! Cage said that it would be a cold day in hell before he let Jarrett get his hands on the title. Looks like hell will be pretty cold by the end of the night. As Christian continued to talk on the ramp he was blindsided by none other than SAMOA JOE(!!!!) and was left for dead after Joe just basically beat the crap out of him. Joe grabbed Cage’s mic and demanded to know who had played the music last week and cost him the belt. He said Senshi would be dealt with soon enough, “but the first name on the list… is Sting.” Joe then choked Christian with his own Captain Charisma robe before just demolishing Cage’s head with the mic (which itself absolutely exploded upon impact) while Jarrett looked on with approval. Awesome.

(Commercial Break)

A stagehand ran over to where Tenay and West were sitting and gave them a note. Oh no. West looked like he’d just seen a whole bunch of boobies. West grabbed a mic and read the note out to the crowd and Jarrett, who was still standing in the ring. The basic gist of it was that there would be a meeting later in the ring where many questions would be addressed by Jim Cornette. West overacts so much it’s embarrassing.

Great opening to the show, and brilliant use of Samoa Joe. This shock heel turn and seeming hatred for Sting is possibly the best Sabin the show has had for a few months. Leaving the viewers wondering why Joe is hell-bent on hurting Sting. The absolute destruction of Christian adds to the shock factor of Joe’s hate filled rampage and allows him a few weeks off to heal his injured knee before returning for a probable main event PPV match with Jarrett. TNA continues to push Samoa Joe… and that is fine with me.

(1) Abyss and AMW vs. Rhino and Team 3D

Abyss fires off some right and left hands. Bodyslam on Devon by Abyss. Ouch. Abyss tags to James Storm. Running like a bitch. Storm takes a vertical suplex on entering. Devon follows up with a quick powerslam for a two count. Broken up by Harris. Storm escapes another Devon suplex attempt and tags in Harris. This, of course, leads to a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ chant from the crowd. Harris whips Devon into the corner and charges in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Devon could be dead. Rhino reaches out to Devon and tags himself in. Cheat. Rhino is a house on fire and lays into Harris with punches and kicks. GENERIC! Harris takes the advantage after a distraction by Storm and levels Rhino with a running shoulder tackle. Hooooooo! Storm hits a nicely executed spinning neckbreaker on Rhino. AMW begin a double team on Rhino as James Mitchell distracts the ref. Turn around ref… idiot. Running knee lift from Harris. Tag to Abyss. Rhino is in trouble now. Rhino runs like a little bitch and tags in Brother Ray who tries to use the Bionic Elbow(!!!) on Abyss. Lame. Abyss takes the elbows with a small cock of the head and levels Ray with suplex. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. The fans are calling for the BHS… and Abyss throws Rhino to the ropes. Gore GORE GOOOOOOOOORE!!! Rhino catches Abyss off the ropes with a Gore. Looked kinds botched, yet awesome. Abyss rolls to the outside and it seems like Storm is now the legal man. Here come Gail Kim!! She distracts the ref while slipping the handcuffs to Harris. How many time have we seen this same finish? Harris charges at Ray with the titles but is caught by Brother Devon and held up for THE 3D(!!!) Harris rolls out of the ring… joining Abyss. Devon is smacked with a superkick out of nowhere by Storm. Clusterf*ck Alert! Ray grabs Kim and sets her up for the powerbomb but is also stopped by Storm. This time with a spear. Storm stands celebrating as the ring is cleared. Don’t look now Cowboy! Gore GORE GOOOOOORE!! Rhino comes out of nowhere too break some ribs. Mitchell distracts Rhino on the outside as ABYSS enters the ring. BLACK HOLE SLAM. A three count later and we have a winner.

Winner: Abyss & AMW in 7:30

Rating: ** Some botched moves and a convoluted ending take this match down. They continue to push Abyss as an unstoppable monster… which is how he should be pushed.

- After the match Abyss delivers a succession of Black Hole Slams… to Brother Ray, Brother Devon… and the referee? Mike Posey just got annihilated by the BHS… and probably took the best bump of the night so far. Hats off to Mike Posey. Storm and Harris try to calm down Abyss and they are nailed with Black Hole Slam’s too(!!!!) I thought Abyss was a heel? Gail Kim then breaks manager rule #47 ‘Don’t get in the ring and start shouting at a large pissed off man’. BLACK HOLE SLAM TO GAIL KIM!!! Abyss is my new hero! Mitchell enters the ring and gets Abyss to leave with him. The unstoppable Abyss Sabin continues.

- A re-cap of last week and the start of the show with Samoa Joe injuring Christian Cage and Jeff Jarrett demanding answers.

(2) "Alpha Male" Monty Brown vs. Jay Lethal

Brown enters the ring wearing street clothes, shirt, shoes and pants. He waits while Jay Lethal enters before removing his leopard print shirt. He leaves on his pants and shoes though. I guess this match isn’t gonna last long. He slaps Lethal in the face but gets a spin kick by Lethal to the face of The Alpha Male. Lethal bounces off the ropes but is hit with a POUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCE-uh (period). The crowd begin the chant of ‘One More Time!’ as Brown pulls a lifeless Lethal to his feet before whipping him to the ropes. POUUUUUUUUUNCE-uh (period). Goodnight.

Winner: Monty Brown in 1:27

Rating: N/A This was a strange match, to squash a worker who has been pushed recently in X-Division matches is an extremely odd move. I guess Lethal must have pissed off someone important.

- After the match, Brown grabs a mic and let’s us know that his open contract match for Victory Road his still yet to be answered. He says that “there is no man alive who can go toe to toe with the rejuvenated Alpha Male… I’ve licked my wounds, I’ve sharpened my claws. I have a thirst for blood that prey like this (pointing to Lethal) can’t satisfy. The Serengeti is my home, my hunting place… and if you step into it on July 16th… I don’t care where you come from or who your are… you will feel the POUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCE-uh… Period.” Monty brown carries himself like a star. It’ll be interesting to see who he faces at Victory Road. Whether TNA is bringing in a new star to go over Brown or will use an already established star to put Brown over. Great promo and more character development for The Alpha Male.

- Backstage JB tells us that Cornette will give his address after the following match. Stay tuned folks.

(3) Austin Aries & Roderick Strong vs. Chris Sabin and Sonjay Dutt

We start with a test of strength by Aries and Sabin, to chants of “We Want Nash!” from the audience. God I hate TNA crowds. Bodyslam by Aries smashing some spine and splatting some Sabin. Aries hits a quick Foley-esque stump piledriver on Chris Sabin. Working him over and softening him up for the Brainbuster, There's a two count on the pin. I remember when piledriver’s used to end matches. Somewhere Jerry Lawler is turning in his shallow, shallow grave. Chris Sabin comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. BAM! It’s like Ali-Frazier. Austin Aries walks into a stiff lariat clothesline from Sabin. Sabin thinks he’s Bradshaw or somethin’. Suplex into a gut buster by Sabin, Aries’ guts just got busted. Hail Sabin! There's a two count on the pin. Brainbuster attempt by Austin Aries, who feels in the mood for busting Sabin’s brain. Reversal into a flipping DDT. Ouch. Cover for a two count. Back elbow block out of a German suplex attempt and Aries whips Sabin to the ropes. Where he is met by the knee is Roderick Strong. Chris Sabin’s back is now f’ed up. So, who better to tag in then ‘Mr. Backbreaker’ Roderick Stong? There’s the tag and Sabin is officially screwed. Chris Sabin tries to fight off Strong… but fails. Strong hits Sabin with a succession of weird and wonderful backbreakers. Including one from an F5 type position. Sabin has been terminated, or Sabinated if you will. Dutt is tagged in after Strong inadvertently throws him to the wrong corner. Doh! Dutt smashes Strong with a running dropkick for a pretty slow two count. The ref looks a bit blown up. Not that I blame him, I’m getting blown up just watching. Dutt whips Strong into the ropes and hits a wicked inverted hurracanrana. That looked nasty. Spin kick by Sonjay Dutt to the face and Strong rolls out of the ring to search for his nose which was just kicked right off his face. The replay shows us that Strong was dead on NAILED with the kick and if his nose isn’t broken he’s the luckiest SOB in the world. Aries attacks Dutt from behind with a reverse German suplex before jumping over the ropes onto the ring apron and jumping straight back with a 360 degree elbow drop. Ouch. Aries winds up the Pendulum and just flattens Dutt with his ROH trademark Pendulum Elbow. Aries leaves the ring as Strong enters and stamps on Dutt's chest before quickly tagging in Aries and leaving. His nose is a mess. Running knee lift from Aries to Dutt. Dutt tags out to Sabin who seems to have partially recovered from having his brains nearly busted earlier on. Strong is still on the outside clutching his nose and he walks around the ring and pulls an unsuspecting Dutt off the apron. Strong then absolutely nails Dutt with the F5 into a backbreaker before planting him to the floor with a huge scoop slam. Meanwhile in the ring, the cameras miss a springboard move by Sabin, but we’re told by Tenay that it was a springboard clothesline that missed as Aries ducked it. Aries takes this opportunity to slap Sabin in the face. Nicely done. Sabin got the taste bitchslapped out of his mouth. Sabin is distracted by Strong beating on Dutt and falls victim to Aries! Brainbuster! Finally. Chalk up another win for the ROH alumni.

Winners: Aries and Strong in 9:00

Rating: *** Great TV tag match and a superb way of elevating Aries and Strong without taking too much away from Sabin (who’s selling was amazing) and Dutt (who needs this upcoming tour in Japan to sharpen his skills as he was sloppy today. As evidenced by him destroying Roderick’s nose.) Great match.

(Commercial Break)

When Impact came back from commercial, the company meeting was held in the ring by James E. Cornette. Senshi, Rhino, AMW, Elix Skipper, Christopher Daniels, A.J. Styles, Chris Sabin, Super JB, Monty Brown, Austin Aries, Roderick Strong, Alex Shelley, all of Team Canada, Scott Steiner, Samoa Joe, and the referees were present. He started by thanking everyone for their presence at this meeting. But there’s no Jarrett or Sting? Cage was ‘injured’ by Joe earlier and so obviously was not here. He started with Team Canada. He said that he was sick of seeing the same finish in each of the Team Canada matches and so dissolved the group. No more Team Canada?! No, eh? What’s all that aboot? He had security escort a hysterical Scott D’Amore from ringside while Bobby Roode and Petey Williams both pie faced A1 and Eric Young and exited the ringside area through the crowd. So long Team Canada. I hope they keep Petey and Roode together as they could be a great tag-team. Next he addressed Monty Brown’s request for an open contract match at Victory Road. Cornette told Brown that TNA had found him the perfect opponent, but he would remain nameless until the PPV. He smirked and said “Good Luck” to Brown, “You’ll need it”. He now discussed the whole title controversy. He called out Sting first while Austin Aries and Roderick Strong restrained Samoa Joe. Nice touch. Sting entered the ring with Cornette and grabbed a mic. Cornette asked him who the champ should be while Joe screamed on the outside. Cornette said he’d get to the NWA title mess in just a second, but first he had something else to discuss. Namely, the TNA X-Division title match last week. The camera quickly cut to Senshi who rubbed his title and mouthed ‘It’s my belt now’. Another nice touch. Cornette asked Sting if he was responsible for the music being played last week during the title match. Shouldn’t he be asking the sound guy backstage? Sting denied any responsibility and asked the question “What would I gain by making Joe lose his belt?” Good point. Sting turned to Joe and pointed, “I didn’t cost you the match, and I didn’t make you lose. You lost the match; you take the responsibility like a man. I was going to clear all this up, I was going to speak to you myself, but you messed up Joe. You insulted me, you sent an innocent man to hospital, and you threw the fans adoration right back in their faces”. That seemed kind of heelish. Sting demanded an explanation for Joe’s dislike of himself. Joe pushed Strong and Aries away and climbed into the ring. He ripped the mic away from Sting’s grasp; Cornette came between the two of them and told them to cool down. Joe lifted the mic to his mouth and said just two words “Screw Sting”. Sting looked bewildered at this and turned towards the fans with his arms out in exasperation. Bad move Stinger. Joe’s gonna kill you! Joe pushes Cornette away and locks Sting in the Kokina Clutch! Sting is getting choked out. The ring was filled with people trying to separate Joe and Sting but Joe wouldn’t release the hold. Cornette demanded Joe to release the hold or he would “face the consequences”. Joe quickly released the hold and rolled out of the ring. Being held back and restrained once again by Aries and Strong. Cornette checked on Sting before turning back to Joe, “I think I speak for Sting when I say this… he’ll see you on July 16th!” Joe smirked and nodded before leaving the ringside area. The push of Joe continues to be awesome. First Cage and now Sting. Just awesome. With the ring once again cleared and Sting helped to the back by EMA’s. Two main eventer’s destroyed in one week by Joe. A PPV match against each other is just what they both need. Joe needs a strong match against an established main event player and Sting needs to feud with a fresh character to bring the best out of him.

(Commercial Break)

Cornette called out Jarrett and questioned him about the PPV screw job. Jarrett said the only screw job was Cornette taking the title away from him. Cornette asked Jarrett if he’s seen Hebner or Zbyszko around lately. He said that anyone who doesn’t play by the rules is always made to pay for it. He told Jarrett that his actions did not befit a proper champion. The belt is obviously gonna be given to Jarrett now, unless something really, and I mean REALLY strange happens. Cornette picked up the NWA World Heavyweight Title belt which he had placed on the corner turnbuckle. He said that his decision was final and that he thinks the fans would prefer Jarrett to get beaten for the belt then have him come out whining all the time and ruin their show. Cornette claimed that he’d studied the tape time and time again and Jarrett had broken no rules within the King of the Mountain match, he said the only rule breakers were “the two no good SOB’s I fired last week”. He said that due to Jarrett breaking no rule and there being no sound evidence to back-up the fact that Jarrett had collaborated with either the referee or the TNA championship booking committee. Here it comes. “I have no choice but to name the NWA World Heavyweight Champion as… Jeff Jarrett”. Jarrett celebrated like he’d just won the Superbowl or something. The crowd boo’ed and started throwing cans and assorted trash into the ring. Jarrett began walking to the ring to collect his belt, but was stopped by Jim Cornette who said that he “wasn’t finished yet”.

Cornette said that he was sick of Jarrett’s crap and had decided that his first defense of the NWA Title would be next week on Impact, his first defense would be against “someone who was royally screwed over by the last person in charge of this company, a man who never got a rematch for his belt, a man who I personally told would get his rightful shot at the gold… Raven!” Jarrett looked like he’d just seen a ghost as Raven walked out of the opposite entrance ramp and struck the crucifixion pose as we fade to black.

Superb show and a great way to build towards the July 16th PPV.

Here’s what we have so far:

VICTORY ROAD ANNOUNCED MATCHES

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

Monty Brown’s Open Contract Match

POSSIBLE MATCHES

Senshi vs. Christopher Daniels

Aries and Strong vs. Team 3D

[Originally this was gonna be a small re-cap but it just got bigger and bigger. So here it is, expect the next two Impact shows up soon-ish. Followed by some more story based stuff.]

From PWTorch.com

TNA IMPACT

JUNE 22, 2006

TAPED 19 IN ORLANDO, FL.

- The show opened with Jim Cornette’s announcement that he wanted the best wrestlers in TNA. He wants bigger ratings, bigger buyrates and better matches. He should just go watch ROH if he wants that. Oh wait… TNA has stolen all of ROH’s best workers. For shame.

- In the ring, ‘the new face of TNA’ Jim Cornette is standing with a mic in hand. No more cane means no more stupid spinning of it. Hooray. Cornette has the NWA World Heavyweight Title over his shoulder and says that in order to decided whom his champion should be, he has decided to speak to each of the three men involved in the decision at the PPV. Those being former champ Christian Cage, winner of the match Jeff Jarrett and… Sting? Why the hell is Sting involved? All he did was get pushed off a ladder. There’s only so much facepainted Brandon Lee in the Crow wannabe we can have forced down our throats. That guy needs to bring up new stars, not feud with tired old ones.

Cornette then turned his attention to LAX at the alternate broadcast area. He told them that there would be some serious changes to their ranks, starting with their suspension. Cornette said ‘a man who refuses to work, shouldn’t have the option to do any work at all.’ He said they’re suspended until they can find their balls. When Armando Quintero tried to interrupt, Cornette fired him and turned towards the hard camera with a smirk. ‘Anybody else want to test me? I can make examples out of all of ya.’

He then congratulated Samoa Joe on a ‘superb’ victory over Scott Steiner at the PPV and declared that he will face Sonjay Dutt and Senshi in a three-way match for the X-Division title later on in the show.

He said that the events at the end of Slammiversary made him physically ill, and Jeff Jarrett should be ashamed. He also declared that both Larry Zbyszko and Referee Earl Hebner were both fired. Wow, Cornette is really laying into the TNA ranks. Cornette said that he’d announce the new (Jarrett) champ (Jarrett) next (Jarrett) week (Jarrett). It’s so obvious that they’re gonna put the belt on Jarrett, let’s just hope that they know what they’re doing.

He then addressed Jarrett personally. He said that while he and Jarrett were never close, he had always respected him… until last night. “This ain’t WWE and this definitely isn’t Survivor Series… did we go back in time while I was away?” Ouch. An actual reference to WWE and the stupidity of a decade old angle. Expect a letter from WWE any day now.

Great promo from Cornette and comfirmation on all the internet reports that TNA is really going at WWE both in the ring and out of it. Good start to Impact and great build up for this show and the next one.

- They went to Tenay and Don West at ringside who (over)reacted to Cornette's announcements. They really overact sometimes. It’s cringeworthy to see two middle aged men pumping their fists and screaming every freaking sentence. Then Jeff Jarrett came out and also yelled, this time at Cornette, telling him he should get the belt, and everything that comes with it, “because I am the franchise player in TNA.” Shane Douglas should sue. Oh wait… he said ‘franchise’, not ‘fraaaaaaaanchiiiiiiiiiiiise’. My bad.

-Ring introductions took place for Austin Aries and Roderick Strong followed by NEW NWA Tag Team Champs The Fallen Phenomenal’s! What? It’s better than Styles and Daniels. Fine. NEW NWA Tag Team Champions… AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels.

[Really quick commercial break]

1 -- A.J. STYLES & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. AUSTIN ARIES & RODERICK STRONG -- NWA Tag Team Title match

Daniels started the match and took a serious of backbreakers from Strong before tagging Styles in. Styles escaped a half-nelson backbreaker attempt and nailed a Pele kick for a 2 count, but Aries stopped the count by dropping and elbow on AJ’s head. That’ll wake him up. Some superb four-way action broke out with Styles and Daniels both hitting simultaneous clotheslines and suplexes on their opponents. Daniels tagged in and went straight for Aries, but was hit from behind by (my new hero) Roderick Stong. Strong hooked Daniels up for the Angel's Wings(!!!!!) but Styles interrupted it with his flipping reverse DDT, amazing exchange. Daniels went for the pin, but Aries interrupted it again. Styles hit an unsuspecting Aries with a springboard clothesline to take him out of the ring. Meanwhile, in the ring, Daniels nailed Strong with the Last Rites for the three count. It’s over! Great match.

WINNERS: Styles & Daniels to retain the NWA Tag Titles in 5:30.

STAR RATING: *** Great match, if a little short. I was amazed by how much offense the team of Aries and Strong got in.

- After the match, Aries hooked up Styles and delivered a BRAINBUSTER(!!!!) on the entrance ramp. Before he and Strong walked away. Daniels looked on shocked at the events before running over to help AJ who was being attended to by EMA’s as we go backstage. A great angle to explain AJ’s absence from the next few weeks of TV tapings, as he’s going on tour with NJPW. This could also signify a push for Strong and Aries which is very welcomed.

-Backstage Super JB Jeremy Borash standing outside of Jim Cornette's office. JB said that a meeting was currently going on between Cornette and former champ Christian Cage. Wow, that’s Cage’s first mention in the entire show. If that doesn’t signify something bad (and Jarrett involved), I don’t know what does. It’s quite sad, but it's also very clear that Jarrett, is being made into the center of attention, and the last time that happened, he won the title. Looks like TNA really is Planet Jarrett.

As JB was talking, the door opened and a stern-faced Christian Cage exited Cornette’s office. He’s not a happy bunny. He grabbed the mic away from Borash and pushed him off-camera (heel turn?). He said that “TNA isn’t Jeff Jarrett’s plaything. It’s my world.” I thought it was Planet Jarrett? Christian said that “I’ll be getting back what’s mine… I don’t care who I have to go through. Jarrett, Sting, Cornette, Jeremy Borash, Tiny the timekeeper, Jill the ticket woman, Bob the gardener, or Geoff the toilet guy. I’ll get back what’s mine… because THAT’S…” and the crowd finishes. Good show of fire by Christian and a nicely planted seed for future heel turn.

2 -- ABYSS vs. No-name Jobber.

Abyss destroys the no name jobber in about 20 seconds with the Black Hole Slam. Afterwards James Mitchell declared 2006 “The Year of the Monster”. Abyss would make a good TNA champ… anyone is better than Jarrett at this point. Hell, even Cornette looked good with the belt.

WINNER: Abyss with the BHS in 17 seconds.

STAR RATING: n/a It’s only job was to hype Abyss and his uncontrolabilty (is that even a word?)

- After the match, we cut to a dapper looking Monty Brown backstage. He declared that 2006 wouldn’t be the “Year of the Monster” but instead the “Year of the Alpha-Male”. He snarled at the camera and said “Anyone who doesn’t believe that the Alpha Male means business should meet me in the ring at Victory Road. One more stepping stone, one more carcass littering the Serengeti… one more body in my way. Open challenge for Victory Road… I’ll take on all comers, all challengers, all opponents… but each and every single broken body… will feel the POUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCE-uh… Period!”

I love Monty Brown. The guy has serious charisma and could (and hopefully should) be given a title run at some point this year.

-Borash was still standing outside Cornette’s office where we’re told Jeff Jarrett is currently in talks. JB tells us that only Sting has yet to meet with Cornette. As JB talks, Samoa Joe walked past and muttered under his breath (but the camera still barely caught it) “Fuck Sting”(!!!) Samoa Joe dropped the F-Bomb on TNA Impact!! I’m not sure if it was intentional or just part of the storyline, but I’m sure it’ll be edited for the earlier showings.

[Commercial Break]

- Back (once again) to JB who tells us that Jarrett has just left Cornette’s room looking extremely unhappy. Maybe he isn’t getting the belt. Hahah No… he is. We all know he is.

- Back to JB again (man if he gets paid for every appearance he will be LOADED after this show. JB said that Sting was currently inside Cornette’s office and was going to be watching the next match with him.

[Commercial Break]

3 -- SAMOA JOE vs. SONJAY DUTT vs. SENSHI -- X Division Title match

Absolutely no build-up for this match other then Joe dropping the F-Bomb which suggests that Joe might lose the belt here as a feud with Sting may be on the cards. Dutt tried a quick springboard dropkick at Joe, but Joe moved and Dutt landed hard on Senshi at ringside. HIGH SPOT. Joe went after Senshi with chops at ringside following by his running boot. Ole Ole Ole Ole. Senshi, though, met the charging Joe with a flying clothesline. He must of remembered the Ole Kick from ROH, the sly dog. In the ring, Senshi hit Joe with a series of kicks as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

As Senshi worked over Joe, Dutt surprised Senshi with a bodyblock following by a couple moonsaults for a two count. Dutt threw some bodyblows at Joe, but Joe caught him mid-air and slammed him to the mat. Senshi came back , but Joe gave him an inverted atomic drop, a big boot, and a senton. Dutt took Joe down with a flying head scissors. Joe chopped Dutt and applied a reverse choke. Senshi dropkicked Joe off the ring apron. Dutt scored a two count on Senshi. Sting’s music suddenly hit and distracted everyone in the arena. With Joe distracted by the smoke and music, Senshi hit Dutt with a tornado roundhouse kick followed by a double foot stop off the top rope for the win. NEW CHAMP! Tenay pointed out that Joe is still undefeated since he wasn't involved in the pin, but he is no longer X Champ. He also wondered why Sting’s music hit when Sting obviously was backstage with Cornette.

WINNER: Senshi at 7:00 to win the X Division Title.

STAR RATING: *** -- Good action, but this should have been a PPV match. The possibility of a feud with Sting or whoever played Sting’s music is a good one to build upon over the next few weeks.

All in all… great show.

The show had helped pass three hours of flight but, looking out the window, I could see that we weren’t descending at all. How long was this flight gonna take? I contemplated buzzing the pilot to ask him how much longer until we landed, but decided against it. The guy was probably busy anyway.

Looking around for something else to pass the time, I noticed the PDA sitting unused on the floor near my seat. I’d forgotten all about that.

Opening it up, I noticed that it had the Panda Energy Logo on the inset. Flashy. The entire PDA was basically just a screen and a tiny keyboard with a small pen to use on the touch screen. This thing was probably worth more than my car. I was more focused on not dropping it than on the information inside.

There were three documents on the main screen. Obviously this was the information my father wanted me to see.

TNA Business Information

Roster

Miscellaneous Information

It seemed pretty obvious to me (and probably the whole world) now that my job was definitely working within with the TNA franchise. Judging from the stuff I’d been left, it seems I was going to be a pretty integral part. Or at least I hoped so. Being a life-long wrestling fan… I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t excited.

Picking up the pen, I pushed the icon marked ‘TNA Business Information’ and watched it load up. I’m no good with describing computer information so I’ll just write out exactly what it said.

TNA Owner: Dixie Carter

Booking Committee Members: Bill Banks, Dennis Brent, Dustin Woods, Dutch Mantell, Bill Behrens, Jerry Jarrett

Development Territory: TNA Asylum

Sponsors

Viacom Inc.

Nintendo

THQ

Stacker 2

It seemed that my half-sister, a woman I’d never met at any point in my previous 21 years of life, was going to be my new boss. What’s that saying about never working with family?

It’s not like I didn’t want to be working under my big sister, it would just be… weird. Considering I’d never even met her and I was going to be given a job I hadn’t even earned, or wanted. To say I was a little pensive about meeting her would be an understatement.

The Roster option was the next one I chose, and was separated into several different sections. Once again, I’ll write it as it appeared to me.

Main Event

Christian Cage

Jeff Jarrett

Raven

Scott Steiner

Sting

Upper Midcard

AJ Styles

Brother Devon

Brother Ray

Chris Harris

Christopher Daniels

Jeff Hardy

Kip James

Konnan

Monty Brown

Rhino

Samoa Joe

Midcard

Abyss

Brother Runt

Chris Sabin

Elix Skipper

Homidide

James Storm

Senshi

Mike Sanders

Petey Williams

Ron Killings

Lower Midcard

Alex Shelley

Austin Aries

Roderick Strong

Sonjay Dutt

Non-Wrestlers

Jerry Lynn

Kevin Nash

Shane Douglas

Managers

James Mitchell

Jim Cornette

Scott D’Amore

Simon Diamond

Development Deals

A1

Andy Douglas

Bobby Roode

Cassidy Riley

Chase Stevens

Christy Hemme

David Young

Eric Young

Gail Kim

Hernandez

Jackie Gayda

Johnny Devine

Machete

Matt Bentley

Puma

Shark Boy

So Cal Val

Traci

That only left one option for me to choose. So obviously I had to click Miscellaneous Information.

Misc Info

Titles

NWA World Heavyweight Championship – Vacant

TNA X-Division Championship - Senshi

NWA Tag-Team Championship – AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels

Well that was news to me… last I’d heard the TNA X-Division champ was Samoa Joe?

Don’t worry though, it’ll all be explained later.

My pilot must have been psychic as, no sooner had I finished reading the PDA information, when his voice came over the intercom.

“Sir, we’ll be landing shortly. Please make sure your seatbelt is fastened.”

[A recap of the two Impact's after Slammiversary and the July 6th Edition of Impact will be posted later on today]

[i'll post internet rumours and TNA-related things in this way from now on, anything that is not story related or experienced first-hand by my main character will probably be displayed in this way.]

From PWTorch.com

Raven signs new three year deal with TNA.

Sources close to TNA management say that thev have been extremely impressed with Raven's willingness to stay with TNA and refuse a big money contract with the WWE-run ECW brand.

Reports suggest that Raven's loyalty is set to be rewarded with a possible push and main event run.

Raven joins a growing list of TNA stars who have commited their long-term futures to TNA.

[Ok, nobody likes back stories. But this one is kinda important to the story.

This is my 2nd attempt at a diary after my ROH went down in flames when my computer died. Anyway... enjoy.]

TNA: The Prodigal Son

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not easy being me.

You don’t know me? Don’t worry, not many people do.

You’ve probably heard of my dad, or at least his company.

You see… my father owns Panda Energy.

You probably think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth; you couldn’t be farther from the truth. You see, I was the result of a brief fling between my dad and his secretary; I am the prodigal bastard son.

I’m not going to lie, we weren’t living out on the streets, but we also didn’t have my father’s money to help us out. I’m sure he must have given my mom some sort of payoff to stop her leaking the story to the press but it wasn’t like he was always around handing out bills.

My old man was a sentimental type of guy, even if I was his little secret. He kept me away from his other family all of my life, I never met any of them, only saw them in the financial section of the newspapers. He would occasionally come to visit, always secretive, always fleeting, always wanting to play ball, and do all sorts of father-son stuff together. I was never in to sports, but it made the old guy happy and so I did it.

My mom was always the one who explained things to me, allowing me to know things about my family and my father.

I was his secret son, his wonderful bastard child, the one to inherit it all.

The only problem was… I didn’t want any of it.

I didn’t even know what Panda Energy did until I was 16, I just didn’t care. I just knew it was my dad’s company, and it was a big money thing.

I was 17 when my mom died, victim of a lifelong battle with cancer. I knew it was coming, we’d talked about it many times, I just never expected it to happen so soon. Now I had nothing to live for, and everything seemed to just fade away. I knew what I wanted to do, I had to get away, I had to leave everything behind. I had to leave.

I still remember the look of heartbreak on my dad’s face when I told him I was leaving home. It was my 18th birthday. He was in shock, but it took a lot to shake my father’s resolve. He went right at me with the usual questions.

“But what about your future? What do you plan on doing with your life?”

I honestly didn’t know, but I knew what I didn’t want.

“I’m gonna travel for a while, see the world.”

I had expected the response.

“You really expect me to pay your way while you throw your life away?”

I already knew the answer… and about three seconds after finishing talking, so did my father.

“I’ve got my own money, mom’s money. I don’t need your money dad.”

Dad was Robert W. Carter founder and chairman of the company Panda Energy. A company which constructs maintains and operates environmentally friendly power-plants. If there is such a thing.

According to Forbes magazine, Panda’s last year turnover was a reported $219 million.

It would probably have been more if my dad hadn’t given my half-sister the go ahead to buy Total Non-Stop Action. Known around the world as TNA.

The future of professional wrestling. But we’ll get into that later.

Anyway, back to my 18th birthday. My mother had left me a substantial sum of money in her will, a sum which my father now knew about.

However, I’d already made up my mind, I’d even already packed.

“If you leave now, you will throw it all away. What will you do when your money runs out?”

The truth was I hadn’t even contemplated it running out.

“I’ll get a job.”

It was a weak attempt to stop my father from continuing his outburst… it failed spectacularly.

“You’ve got a good life here! You have a job here! I need you here! If you walk out now… you walk out on your family.”

I walked out on my family. I walked out on my father. I walked out on my entire life.

What did it get me?

It got me three years.

That’s how long my money lasted, that’s how long I lived the party lifestyle.

Sleepless nights drifted by in a drunken haze. Weekend long parties with some of the most glamorous people on the planet. Drinks, Drugs, Sex… an awakening into adulthood.

My photograph in some trashy magazine, arm in arm with Nicky Hilton… my dad’s only contact with his son through some cheap piece of glossy paper. I went without speaking to anyone from my family for three whole years… until the morning of my 21st birthday... when I awoke to the sound of a ringing telephone.

I reached around blindly until I felt the receiver in my hand and picked it up. My movement causing the electronic curtains in my hotel room to open, allowing the most piercingly bright light I ever remember seeing into my eyes.

“Hello?” I said weakly.

My eyes slowly grew accustomed to the light and I turned my head to the side where my alarm clock slowly came into focus.

7:45am

I hadn’t been awake at 7:45am for nearly ten years. Something was definitely wrong.

“Hello?” I said again… unsure if anyone was even on the other end.

This time the response was definitely there.

“Hello Dean.”

It had been over three years but the voice was still the same, the same pitch, the same semi-eloquent pronunciation it could only be one person.

“Hello dad.”

“You need to come home.”

At first I thought I’d misheard him.

“What?”

“You need to come home… now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“We need to talk. I know you’re broke.”

Two thoughts entered my mind. The first being shock at the phone call from a man I hadn’t seen or spoken to I just over three years, and the second being confusion at the statement about my money troubles. How did he know I was broke? Unfortunately all that came out was the following word:

“What?!”

“I’ve been trying to track you down for weeks, my people told me about your troubles. I know you’re out of money, Dean. It’s taken me this long to track you down. We’ll talk more when you get here. The car should already be on its way. See you in a few hours.”

“Talk about what… what car, what are…”

“Your family need you now.”

My shock numbed my brain and didn’t allow any emotion to surface.

“Why?”

“We’ll talk more when you get here.”

“Why didn’t….”

“Just pack your essentials.”

“What about…”

“This is the time to sort out your life, Dean. Your family needs you. The car will be there soon, I’ve already sent the jet.”

“Jet? What je…”

I was cut off by the loud clicking of my father hanging up. He’d never really forgiven me for leaving like I did. Not that I blame him. And now my money was gone, my mom was dead… and I was left with nothing.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, I was going home.

Ten minutes later I was in the car my father had sent, and thirty minutes after that the car pulled up next to a small hangar where a small white jet was taxiing slowly out onto the equally small runway.

I exited the car and looked at the Jet, which had now come to a complete standstill. The door slowly opened and the steps descended… followed by two of the best legs I had ever seen. Followed by a black business suit containing an equally impressive body. I didn’t even look at her face until she was two feet from me, and when I did I was stunned. She was the total package, she was beautiful, long brown hair tied up in a bun and very little make up… yet she was stunning.

“Mr Carter. It’s a pleasure, my name is Sophie McCall. I work for your father.”

I extended my hand and she shook it firmly. I was still in shock about the whole days events and didn’t even make an attempt to hit on the beautiful woman standing in front of me. She handed me a small brown envelope and a small black velvet bag.

“Pleased to meet you Miss McCall.”

She didn’t seem to be in the mood for further pleasantries and began walking towards the car.

“Your father told me to give those to you. The brown envelope contains a CD, use it with the DVD player in the jet. Inside the bag is a PDA, your father had his people input some of the things you’ll need to know.”

“What things? Why will I need to know them?”

She stopped briefly, turned back towards me and shrugged.

“Your father will tell you more when you land. Good day Mr Carter.”

To say I was confused would be an understatement… I needed answers.

“Can you at least tell me what all this is about?”

She opened the car door and began to step inside.

“It’s about your new job Mr Carter.”

The car door slammed shut and my questions went unanswered again.

What job? What the hell was going on?

I suppose I’d soon find out.

The jet was everything I’d expected from my dad, flashy, ridiculously expensive and full of expensive accessories.

I sat down on the only chair that had been left set up, it seems the rest were removed for my flight. Which makes sense I guess, since there was only me flying.

Suddenly a voice buzzed around the interior of the jet.

“Sir, are you ready to go?”

I looked around the interior of the jet for a few seconds before realising that it was the pilot talking over the intercom. I saw a red button flashing on the armrest of my seat and (figuring that it must be the intercom button) I pushed it. A welcoming buzz alerted me that I’d made the right choice.

“Uh… yeah. I’m ready.”

I felt the rumble of the engines starting as I buckled my seatbelt in pushed a button marked DVD on my armrest. I heard a whirring as the CD drawer opened and I opened the brown envelope. Inside was CD marked with a date and a logo, I’ve been a huge wrestling fan for the majority of my life so I had a pretty good guess what was on the CD. I popped it in the player and watched as a large screen flicked to life in front of me.

I now had my in-flight entertainment.

There are a lot worse things to watch than a wrestling show… I mean… what about Catwoman? Or Poseidon? They both suck.

Anyway on to the CD.

[Future shows will either be written in this way or in the form of a first person review from my main character watching the show. But due to this show already airing in real-life I'll just post an homage to Wade Kellers PPV report. Credit to PWTorch.com]

TNA SLAMMIVERSARY PPV REPORT

JUNE 18, 2006

Wade Keller’s report

From PWTorch.com

PREGAME SHOW

- ‘Super JB’ Jeremy Borash and ‘Titties for everyone’ Christy Hemme introduced the pre-game show and super-hyped the PPV.

-A video feature aired on the King of the Mountain match. Possibly the single most idiotic idea for a match ever made. Hanging the belt? What the f*ck? They should just do this with the belt already hanging and to win you have to pin an opponent and then be eligible to grab the belt. Hmmmm ideas.

-Monty Brown walked to the ring, man does this guy have obvious charisma or what? I truly believe he could be the next big star in TNA if he just adapted his style to a more all-around approach. Brown mocked a fan booing him by saying he probably couldn’t even spell ‘Boo’. Going as far as to say that the fan would spell it "B-U." Brown said what doesn't kill him makes him stronger, and now that he's not in KOTM (which is a complete and utter travesty), he's about to POUNCEEEEEEE (period) everyone on the roster until he gets what he wants. He then turned his attention to Samoa Joe, saying he's already had a winning streak of his own and yet Joe is given everything while The Alpha Male is given nothing. He said Joe's streak may end tonight against Steiner but his streak wouldn’t end… ever. He said if he ever faced Joe, he will make "Fat Joe lean back, lean back, lean back." He said to the "new face of TNA management," that he wants to introduce himself as someone who has been there from the start, someone who can carry the ball without dropping it . He said he is sick of being held back and sick of being held down by some failed country singer and a crappy guitar. The crowd chanted, "Joe's gonna kill you." Monty said he didn’t want to fight Joe because Joe wasn’t worthy of stepping in the ring with him yet. He said he tried to be nice before, but now he is going to be himself and he's going to do it by running through everybody TNA puts in his path. He said he'll do that with The POUNCEEEEEEEE (period). He's an absolute one man show, and that was one of his more inspired promos in a while. His promos are different to the rest of the roster and really help him to stand out.

-A video feature aired on A.J. Styles & Christopher Daniels vs. AMW. Should be a f*ckin’ awesome match.

-Super JB and Titties MaGee ran through the entire PPV line-up from mid-ring.

-Mike Tenay and ‘Super Shill’ Don West talked about the PPV, encouraging people to order the PPV. Order it, order it… ORDER IT NOW!!!

Match 1

TEAM CANADA (A1 & "Showtime" Eric Young) vs. THE NATURALS (w/ ‘The Fraaaanchiiiise’ Shane Douglas)

This was just… there.

The Naturals (who seem to be in the TNA doghouse) gave A1 the Natural Disaster. Young came off the top rope to blindside Andy Douglas, leading to Team Canada scoring the three count. Shane wasn't happy (thou shalt not piss off The Fraaaanchiiiiise), and he climbed into the ring and chewed out The Naturals again. "Are you trying to make a fool out of me?" he asked in that whiny bitch voice of his. He said he offered to take them back to the top of the sport. He said to be no. 1, you do what you have to do. He said three days after reconstructive surgery on his elbow, he entered the ring and beat Taz to regain "my title." He said he retained the title on PPV against Al Snow (big achievement) while injured. "I did what I had to do," he said. "If you think I've spent 24 years in this business to let you squander what it means to be a franchise, you're mistaken." He said he has earned the respect of the fans, who were chanting "Franchise, Franchise." (even though nobody was chanting it… but we’ll ignore that) He said they would not be able to enter the Impact Zone again until he says they are ready. He said they will not make a fool of him again. He said if the let him down, "I will personally kill you myself, I will fraaaaanchiiiiise your asses." He said it won't be a cake walk. He can't pull them on his legacy. He said it will be hard work. He ordered them back to the locker room. They sheepishly returned to the back. This was obviously a TNA smokescreen for the fact that The Naturals are being sent to the new TNA Development territory to hone their skills and increase their charisma… so they stop looking like two greasy haired robots in the ring.

WINNERS: Team (Oh!) Canada in 2:00.

-Next, a video feature on Samoa Joe vs. Scott Steiner aired. Steroid Boy vs. The Fat Island Boy

-Team 3D walked into the ring for a live promo (possibly their last promo in TNA). Brother Ray said TNA is hottest wrestling promotion in the country (at least until the former Dudley Boys leave). He said tonight is the fourth anniversary of what pro wrestling will be in the future. He promised three things - great athleticism, hardcore violence, and no zombies (unless you count Larry Zbyszko). "It's a Zombie-free Impact Zone!" declared Tenay. "No zombies or vampires." (way to diss ECW guys) Ray added: "Hey, guys, listen up. We said it, you guys knew it, the whole world knows it. That product sucks." (expect a letter from WWE any time now) Team 3D said they wanted to start Slammiversary with a bang and demanded a ref head to the ring right now. He begged for a ref. Slick Johnson ran to the ring with an oversized ridiculous bow tie (at least he’s not wearing those ridiculously tiny shorts anymore). Ray said, "You've got a lot of heat with me for that bow tie, but that's okay." He said if the James Gang won't come to the ring, he's going back there to drag them out to the ring (ooooh cliff hanger). Team 3D headed to the back as Tenay yelled (he always yells) one final plug for Slammiversary. Good promo by Team 3D, although they seem to be holding back.

-A final 90 second video aired hyping the event. Yet it didn’t show anything except Jeff Jarrett, Team 3D, and Scott Steiner… way to show off new talent guys.

PAY-PER-VIEW

-The show opened with a new preview video for the King of the Mountain match, including a clip from the first KOTM match on June 2, 2004. Sound-bites aired with each of the wrestlers involved. You know the drill, Abyss grunted, Sting Whooo’d, Jarrett said something about his planet, The Truth asked ‘What’s up?!”, and Christian told us that’s how he rolls.

-The official opening for Slammiversary aired, followed by an extremely LOUD intro to the show by Mike Tenay and ‘Dr Shill’ Don West.

1 -- TEAM 3D vs. THE JAMES GANG -- "Bingo Hall Brawl"

They went to the entry tunnel where the two teams were brawling their way to the ring (this ain’t your daddy’s ECW). A four-way brawl broke out with chairshots. When they brawled to ringside, LAX attacked Brother Devon when he was thrown into their area. LAX didn't take sides, though, as they punched B.G. James, too, when he crossed into their "border area” (don’t f*ck with the Latinos amigo). Brother Ray set up a guard rail on chairs. Ray tossed Kip onto it. Kip, by 4:00, looked like he had been through a 60 minute draw (TNA management wants this guy for the new face of wrestling?). B.G. and Ray brawled into the crowd. Ray tossed a trash can full of weapons into the ring. Ray held up a pink bra and choked B.G. with it (ummm… Ok). Next came a cheese grater (hardcore cliché alert!), but Kip low-blowed Ray to avoid getting hit with it. A minute later, though, Ray rubbed the grater over Kip's forehead. Kip came up bleeding (with an obvious blade job as we saw him put the blade back in his trunks). Ray held B.G. spread-legged with a headbutt toward B.G.'s crotch. B.G., though, blocked it with a trash can lid (it’s amazing how a small bit of aluminum can protect even your most valued treasures). Ray then bashed the lid, as it lay on B.G.'s crotch, with a golf club (I could make a joke here about a hole in one… but I won’t). Kip drove Ray face-first into a trash can. Kip used a cookie sheet over Devon's head. The crowd chanted, "This is awesome” (even though the action was above-average at best)/ Team 3D came back with a Team 3D Device for a near fall. The crowd chanted, "Get the table!" at Ray, at his prompting (suck-up). He grabbed a table and set it up mid-ring. The crowd then chanted, "We want fire" (like I said… this ain’t ECW). Devon tossed B.G. over the top rope to the floor. Team 3D then gave the 3D to Kip through the table for the win (yet another hardcore dliche alert). After the match, Ray said, "You know it damn well. That's how it should be done!"

Yeah… how it should be done… ten years ago.

WINNERS: Team 3D in 10:00.

STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Pretty basic in some ways for this style of match, but the crowd enthusiasm and high-energy of the wrestlers took it above average. Kip is just terrible, though. He has no cardio and really no place in the ring at this point. It's a travesty how much these two teams get pushed given the other talented options available. Given all the hype for the feud, though, this match didn't feel like a fitting climax, or else it exposed the limitations of some off the wrestlers at this point. Seems like the rumors about Team 3D and The James Gang are true, TNA management is going to let them go to WWE.

-Tenay and West were shown at ringside. They previewed other PPV matches.

-Jeremy Borash interviewed Jeff Jarrett backstage. Jarrett said it's nights like this that he got into the wrestling business (yeah nights where he books himself in the main event). He said it's on nights like this that good wrestlers become great (and average workers become World Champion?). He said when he was told he was too small and slow to be a basketball player in college, he became a (crappy) wrestler. He compared himself to Joe Montana in the fourth quarter two touchdowns down. He references Reggie Jackson and Michael Jordan. Jarrett with his finger on the pulse of modern America… jesus. Why didn’t he just mention Babe Ruth.

Larry Z ran up and confronted Jarrett about the new face of TNA Management… when Super JB asked Larry Z who it was… big Larry just walked away.

2 -- RHINO vs. SCOTT D'AMORE & BOBBY ROODE

D’Amore was gassed at about 45 seconds. Roode and Rhino wrestled for most of the match with the end coming from a Rhino GORE GORE GOOOOOOORE on D’Amore (hey that rhymed!).

WINNER: Rhino in 11:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4 – Good for what it was. Althougj Roode has yet to establish himself as a charismatic worker and so had to rely on the over-reactions of Scott D’Amore.

-Borash interviewed Samoa Joe backstage in a dark sitdown setting. When Borash said he's never faced anyone like Steiner (yeah there aren’t many steroid junkies in ROH). Joe said Borash had it backwards, because it's Steiner who has never faced someone like him (I don’t know.. didn’t he face Ralphus once?). He said regarding Steiner's short fuse, he'll be the one to be sparking the lighter across the ring from him (Joe showing good charisma here). He said Steiner hasn't been pinned since entering TNA, and he's about to take that away from him. Just an awesome interview to build up anticipation for their match. Joe is certainly warranting his push in TNA.

3 -- SENSHI vs. SHARK BOY vs. PETEY WILLIAMS vs. JAY LETHAL vs. ALEX SHELLEY vs. SONJAY DUTT -- X Division Contenders' Match

The order of elimination will affect the X Division rankings.

Mr Shill DW said that means some wrestlers may choose not to enter the match if at all possible since there's always a risk when inside the ring. Before adding that pride is on the line. At 4:00, Lethal and Senshi tagged in and had a stiff exchange of chops to the chest (Ouch). Shelley tagged in against Lethal and the two had a nice series of mat holds and counters (Shelley is awesome). Dutt tagged in against Shelley and used his speed to take Shelley down with a head scissors. He moved at twice the speed of anyone else in the match. Tenay said Dutt is the one guy on the X Division roster who is on the verge of breaking out (or at least breaking something). Dutt did the top rope strut, but Shelley yanked him off balance. As Dutt straddled the top rope, Shelley dragged him along the top rope (there was smoke coming off of Dutt’s ballsack here). Shelley reached his hand down the front of his trunks, then offered a tag to Shark Boy (mmmm sweaty). Shark pulled back, so Shelley palmed him in the face. Shark entered. It led to a six-pack suplex with three wrestlers suplexing the other three at the same time. It settled into Shark vs. Dutt. Shark went for the Dead Sea Drop, but Dutt blocked it. Shark surprised Dutt with a neckbreaker. Shark went to the top rope and went for a flying elbow, but Dutt moved, then hit a backflip splash for the pin. No surprise, Shark Boy was the first eliminated at 7:00 (and off he goes to the developmental territory). Lethal eliminated Shelley at 9:00 after a released full nelson overhead suplex (BOO! I demand a recount!). Shelley had taken knees to his back when he went for a top rope senton. Senshi entered the ring against Lethal. Dutt did a flying backflip off the top rope onto the other three at ringside at 10:00. A fresh Petey tagged in and finished Lethal with the Canadian Destroyer for the pin in 10:00 (best… move… ever). Down to Dutt, Petey, and Senshi, Senshi blindsided Petey with a running lariat. Senshi then went to the top rope to hit Dutt. Petey met him on the top rope. Petey set up a top rope sunset flip. Senshi blocked it. Dutt then tag Petey a cool neckbreaker move. Senshi leaped off the top rope with the stomp to pin Petey at 14:00. That left Senshi and Dutt as the final two. Dutt took Senshi with a top rope huracanrana followed by a running basement dropkick for a near fall. Dutt scored another two count after a float over DDT. Senshi came back with a double foot stomp for a two count. Dutt fired back with a neckbreaker followed by a Hindu Press attempt. Senshi blocked it, then dropkicked Dutt with great force. He hung Dutt upside down in the corner and gave him the double stomp TO THE FACE for the win (new best move EVER). West asked Tenay if he had ever seen that move. We know West doesn't watch ROH tapes in his free time to orient himself to the wrestlers he's paid to analyze on national TV each week. Nothing like the color analyst exposing that he's less of a fan and less informed than many of TNA's target audience who have seen Senshi's ROH, indy, and Japan matches through various mediums. Great match, and we still hate Don West.

WINNER: Senshi in 19:00 to become no. 1 X Division contender.

STAR RATING: ***1/2 -- Very good match. It allowed everyone showcase moments, some character development and enabled a possible Joe/Senshi match-up in the future. No doubt TNA will completely screw this up.

-Super JB interviewed Kevin Nash and Shelley backstage. Nash asked Shelley what happened. He said there were ten or twenty guys, and some had knives or guns. Nash said, "I didn't see any of that." Shelley said, "Cameras add 15 pounds. Lighting has a lot to do with it. My concentration was on your celebration after this match." I repeat… Shelley is awesome. Nash sent a message to Chris Sabin's father, Walt Sabin, "probably watching on that crappy 19 inch TV." He mockingly predicted how the conversation would go between father and son. He told Sabin to ask his dad if indeed size doesn't matter. Great promo. Shelley with Nash is gold.

-A video aired recapping the hype for the Kevin Nash-X Division storyline. Let’s\just hope they don’t bury Sabin.

4 -- KEVIN NASH vs. CHRIS SABIN

Tenay said he isn't counting last week's match on Impact, so this counts as Nash's first match in a year. What? A complete squash over a 2 foot tall guy doesn’t count as an official match? It’s not like he tore his quad or anything. Nash opened with a knee to Sabin's chest, then the signature elbows and punches into the corner. Sabin made a comeback a few seconds later with a barrage of punches. Nash kneed his way out of the corner. When Sabin made another comeback, Nash poked him in the eyes. Whatever works Kev. Nash blocked a roll-up attempt, but Sabin then dropkicked him. Nash took the first flat-back bump of the night. They must of paid him double for that. Nash regrouped at ringside and called for Sabin to join him. Shelley distracted Sabin, leaving him prey to a clothesline by Nash. Nash shoved his boot into Sabin's face in the corner at 3:00. Sabin came back with a dropkick off the second rope for a two count. Sabin tried to lift Nash, but couldn't leverage him into the air. Shelley grabbed Sabin's leg. Nash then gave Sabin a big boot which the camera missed. They had to replay it. Way to go TNA. Nash then hit a side slam for a two count. That’s almost as trademarked as the Jackknife. Nash gave Sabin a backbreaker and then bent him over his knee. That led to another two count. Tenay said Nash hasn't proven anything to him so far. Except just how awesome Shelley is. West said without Shelley, Nash wouldn't have the advantage right now. Tenay said Sabin has been the better man. Better at getting his ass kicked by a 7 foot cripple. Nash gave Sabin another big boot. The crowd chanted, "Let's go Sabin!" Nash went for the Jackknife, but Sabin punched out of it and dropped onto Nash for a near fall. Sabin lifted Nash. Yes you read right.Sabin LIFTED Nash for the CradleShock but Shelley yanked Nash's leg to break Sabin's grip. Sabin hit Nash with a dropkick to the knee. Sabin then dove through the ropes onto Shelley out of frustration with his interference. Damn you Sabin! Sabin returned to the ring and continued to go after Nash's knees. Sabin hit a springboard clothesline to take Nash down for another two count. Sabin left Nash on his back in mid-ring. Sabin hit a top rope legdrop for a two count. Shelley knocked Sabin off balance on the top rope. (Go Shelley!) Nash got up, dropped his straps, and stalked Sabin at 8:00. He gave Sabin the Jackknife powerbomb for the win. Way to build-up Sabin…

WINNER: Nash in 9:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Well who didn’t see that coming? Nash was never going to lose to Sabin, a man who (let’s face it) is no Rey Mysterio. Sabin managed to save face by the interference of Shelley while possibly leading to a match between the two.

-Super JB interviewed AMW and Gail Kim backstage. Storm said a six pack ago he would say how much he respected them, but now "I'm happier than a gopher in soft dirt." Kim said there will be no equalizer on this night. Which obviously means that there will. Wrestling 101.

5 -- AMERICA'S MOST WANTED (James Storm & Chris Harris w/Gail Kim) vs. A.J. STYLES & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS -- NWA World Tag Team Title match

Before the match began, Harris made West wish his father a happy Father's Day (Aww). Meanwhile, it appeared Storm hid something in the ringside steps (probably his charisma). Styles and Daniels dominated offense early. As expected. Daniels used a drop toe hold to send Storm onto Harris in a 69 type position. The crowd chanted "Brokeback Mountain." At least the fan’s are up-to-date with their references… Jeff Jarrett was probably thinking about John Wayne or… some other old cowboy. Yes I ran out of old cowboy names. Anyway, Storm mistakenly took Harris over the top rope with a head scissors. Styles flew onto both of them at ringside. West said Styles and Daniels are showing great unity and teamwork. At 6:00 all four brawled at ringside. AMW got the better of it. Back in the ring, Harris went for a pin on Styles. Styles lifted his shoulder before two. AMW isolated Styles for several minutes. Styles hit the Pele Kick at 11:00. West declared it one of the best Pele’s he's ever seen. I don’t know I think the actual Pele would disagree. Styles hot-tagged Daniels. Daniels worked over both members of AMW. Daniels hit an Arabian moonsault on Storm. I suppose we should be more politically corrected and call it a Middle-Eastern Moonsault. Harris's interference backfired. When Kim jumped onto the ring apron, Styles shoved her into the ring. Right into the path of the insurance policy. A large woman who chokeslammed Kim and tossed her out of the ring. See? I told you it would happen. She then carried Kim to the back. AMW regrouped during that minute. When Daniels went for Angel's Wings, Harris escaped. It does look pretty easy to escape from. Harris sent Daniels head-first into a chair held up by Storm. Blatant cheating. Daniels kicked out at 14:00. Styles tagged in and hit a flying forearm off the top rope. Styles flipped off the ropes into an inverted DDT on Storm. One of his better ones in a while. He followed with a pump handle gutbuster on Harris. He then positioned Harris and went for the Spinal Tap, but Harris moved. That had to hurt. AJ just got his spine snapped. Spinal Snap! Hahaha. OK. Storm slipped Harris handcuffs. He wrapped them around his knuckles and KO'd Styles for a near fall. Daniels yanked the ref out of the ring before he counted to three and protested the use of a weapon. Pulling the ref out of the ring is cheaing too Chris. Dumbass. AMW set Styles up for the Death Sentence. Daniels entered the ring and gave Storm the Death Valley Driver. Styles somersaulted onto Harris for a two count. Storm interrupted a Daniels attempt at Angel's Wings with a clothesline. Daniels, though, came right back and hit Angel's Wings on Storm. That got a near fall, broken up when Harris gave the ref an elbow drop. Storm swung a beer bottle at the back of Daniels's head, but Daniels ducked and the bottle hit Harris instead. Daniels then took Storm to the mat with a chokeslam. Styles hit a frog splash. Daniels hit the Best… Moonsault… Ever for the win. Wooo! New champs! AMW’s act was getting a little old.

WINNERS: Styles & Daniels to win the NWA World Tag Team Titles at 18:00.

STAR RATING: ***3/4 – Great match and a much needed title change. Styles and Daniels are a great combination and will only continue to improve.

-Borash interviewed Sting backstage. He cleared up his ambiguous comments from Impact last week, stating that if the opportunity presents itself, he will grab the World Title. He told Christian not to let his mouth override his rear end. He said he wants to keep Jeff Jarrett away from any kind of power "if it's the last thing I do, because it's Showtime!" Same old, same old from the Stinger. He really needs a fresh feud with a young star to bring the best out of him.

-A TNA Fourth Anniversary video aired with clips from the previous four years. The cameos included Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, Razor Ramon, Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, Jeff Hardy, Ken Shamrock, Harley Race, Ricky Steamboat, Dennis Rodman, Chris Rock, and more. No sign of X-Pac in any of the clips, which is a strange omission and suggests that he’ll be part of the new DX over in McMahonland.

-Mike Tenay introduced Jim Cornette(!!!!!) as the new "face of TNA management." He said he will hold everyone in TNA accountable for their actions. Tenay said Cornette is so dedicated to pro wrestling that he insisted on being present even though he had knee surgery just last week. He’s hardcore. Cornette walked out with a cane in hand. He swung the cane and it flew out of his hands. That didn’t look good. He carefully walked to the ring. Cornette declared, "Finally, Jim Cornette has come back to pay-per-view!" He said he always wanted to say that, and this seemed like the right time. He said, "That's what tag team wrestling is all about!" He said he was present for a very specific reason, but he wanted to go over some background first. He said he's sick and tired of looking at the old way of promoting professional wrestling. He said the last few weeks, he's been paying close attention to TNA. He talked about how people said TNA wouldn't last four weeks, then four months, but now it's lasted four years. They showed Larry Zbyszko watching backstage. Tenay said Zbyszko couldn't be happy. Who cares? Nobody likes Larry. It’s not just heel heat, it’s ‘go away and die’ heat.

Cornette said TNA is owned by a major corporation (Panda Energy), one of the most successful of its kind in the country. He said they didn't know about wrestling, so they hired experts to run the project. "They hired guys with experience in wrestling, but those people unfortunately brought with them personal agendas, personal vendetta, grudges, conflicts, politics, nepotism, favoritism, they've been on the take. And it's caused TNA not to accomplish everything that this promotion can, and that's why I'm here. What does any corporation do when they have been the victim of malfeasance? They go to the State Penn and get one of these guys doing two to five years for white collar crime because they know how it's done and they hire that guy to protect themselves so it doesn't happen again. Well, Jim Cornette, while I may be controversial, while I may not be politically correct, I get results. I have worked in management for every major promotion in this country. I know the tricks." He said he has been hired to oversee the operations of the company for the fans. He said there are guys in the locker room whom he expects to step up and hit homeruns. No names mentioned, which seems strange. He said there are other guys sitting back on their big fat reputations, and they need to step up or step off. Oh testify!

Cornette said his responsibility is to see that every seat is full and that they are filled with fans wanting to see more and chanting "TNA." Cornette looked into the camera and told all TNA personnel that there are three goals: he wants people who can have great matches, who can sell PPVs, and who can draw TV ratings. He said if you can do one of those three, you are on Cornette's good side. He said if not, it's not a good thing for them. He said if they don't think he has pull, they're wrong. He said he has management on his side and if it comes down to "me or you, you ain't gonna make it." He said they want what's best for the fans because that's what's best for business. "TNA will be the new face of wrestling, and the new face of TNA will be success," he said. He urged and invited anyone backstage to try to test his power. "Make sure you've got cab fare in your pocket when you do because you're going to be hittin' that back door. That back door is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To anybody who can't play by those rules. Those who can are going straight to the top." He said those who will benefit are the fans of TNA. He concluded, "I know it's been said before many times in many ways, but believe me baby, you ain't see nothin' yet." He asked for one more "TNA, TNA" chant. Excellent speech and a great pay-off to the whole ‘new guy’ angle.

-Borash interviewed Scott Steiner. He told Borash not to call him Samoa Joe, "but rather call that half-breeded fat bastard Sloppy Joe." Uh… ok. He said there are fat redneck fans who want Joe to beat him. He held up the Samoa Joe DVD and said that crap was unsellable. "Samoa Joe, I'm gonna show you why they call me Big Poppa Pump. Tonight you're winning streak ends. Tonight, I kill you!" he said. Steiner is good in small doses… but will somebody please tell him that it’s ‘Samoa Joe’ not ‘Smo Joe’.

6 -- SAMOA JOE vs. SCOTT STEINER

Tenay said Joe has yet to be challenged by someone of Steiner's size and strength. He might as wel of said that Joe has yet to face a guy on the juice. Steiner got the first takedown, then slapped away at Joe’s face. Steiner chopped Joe in the corner, then armdragged him. After a paint brush to the face, Joe took a deep breath and looked serious. Samoan Serious! Joe spit on Steiner as Steiner flexed. Bitchy. Joe and Steiner punched away at each other (generic big man move 1). Joe got control with his series of rapid-front kicks. He followed with a chop to the back, roundhouse to the chest, and running kneedrop, his signature series. The crowd chanted, "Joe, Joe, Joe." Steiner gave Joe an overhead released suplex. He followed with a boot to the face, then choked him over the middle rope. Joe caught a charging Steiner with a boot to the face. Steiner rolled out of the ring to avoid Joe, so Joe charged and dove through the ropes, knocking Steiner into the ringside security railing at 4:00. How I wish that Mike Tenay had watched some ROH tapes so he could shout ‘TOPE CON HILO!!!’ Steiner reversed the momentum by slamming Joe face-first into the ringside steps. Though from the camera angle you could see that Joe was a foot away. Steiner took Joe down with a clothesline, then dropped an elbow and did push-ups. Steiner fended off a Joe comeback with an eye poke. Steiner gave Joe a belly-to-belly. West said since arriving in TNA, Steiner is rejuvenated. Yeah, no more random drugs tests and ‘Wellness program’ to hold him down. Steiner powerbombed Joe, but Joe went for an armbar in a great MMA style counter. It’s good to see how wrestlers are integrating more and more MMA style moves into their repertoire. Joe took Steiner down with a rapid-fire series of punches. Steiner blocked Joe's attempt at a chokeslam and slammed him to the mat. Steiner shoved Joe through the ropes to the floor. Steiner slapped a fan (plant) off camera, but Tenay and West referenced it. Joe came back with chops and punched a chair into Steiner's face. Steiner rammed the chair into Joe's gut and then threw Joe into the ringpost. He followed with a baseball bat swing of the chair into Joe's face. An official announcement was made that the two wrestlers had until the count of ten to return to the ring or they'd be counted out. Steiner hit Joe with a chair, then rolled into the ring. Joe barely made it into the ring before the ten count in dramatic fashion. For a second I thought Steiner had won by count-out in what would have been the worst finish ever. Joe fired back with a series of open hands and inverted atomic drop followed by the big boot and senton splash. At 10:00 Joe caught a charging Steiner with his powerbomb out of the corner, which Steiner had blocked earlier. Pinning Steiner for a two count. Joe applied a rear naked choke sleeper and wrapped his body with his legs. Steiner stood up and powered out. Nicely done by Scotty. He backed Joe into the corner. Joe reapplied it. Steiner mule kicked to escape. Steiner suplexed Joe backward onto his head. That looked botched, and Joe looked pissed. Both men were down. Steiner applied the Steiner Recliner. West said, "That's it." He should of just said ‘Joe is gonna escape’, it insults the viewer’s intelligence less. Joe's arm dropped twice, but Joe powered out on three. He then lifted Steiner onto his shoulders, dropped him, and powerslammed him for the clean three count. Nicely booked on the part of TNA. Both men came away looking good.

WINNER: Joe at 13:00.

STAR RATING: ***1/4 – Good big man match-up. Joe can be the big star TNA have been looking for, he breaks the mould and a clean win over Steiner (who still carries a lot of star-power himself) will do nothing but good things for him. He continues to be a shining star in TNA, and will continue to improve both on the mic and in backstage segments.

-Tenay and West reflected (too) briefly on the impact of Samoa Joe's victory over Scott Steiner. They should of made it out to be HUGE deal. Then West ran through the rules of the King of the Mountain match. The worst match in wrestling. It’s just ridiculous.

-JB interviewed Christian Cage backstage. Christian gave Borash a hard time (heel turn?), then recounted that no champion has ever retained his title in a King of the Mountain match. He said if he had a dime for every time he's heard that the last few weeks, "I'd have (pause) 51 dimes." Lame. Christian said once you've been the champ, you can't live without it; it's like a drug that you can smell and taste. He said tonight's match will be the toughest of his career, but he is confident. He said as soon as he stepped foot in a TNA ring, TNA became his property. He said he will leave as champ because "that’s..." And the crowd finished, "...how I roll." Good interview, but the crowd seemed disinterested. It’s strange they’re giving the champ so much mic time over the past few weeks when it’s common knowledge that he is being courted by WWE.

-A video aired previewing the main event. Jarrett said in a soundbite that his only chance of staying in TNA, given whom he believed the new authority figure would be, might be winning the NWA Title tonight. He said he was convinced this would be his last title shot. At least until he books himself in another title match.

8 -- CHRISTIAN vs. JEFF JARRETT vs. RON KILLINGS vs. STING vs. ABYSS (w/James Mitchell) - King of the Mountain match

During the very VERY long ring intros, the announcers said Jarrett's very existence in TNA may rest on regaining the title in this match. So much stress was put on his backstory compared to others, it strongly indicated the finish. Which is a bad sign. Jarrett and Killings began the match one-on-one inside the ring and others brawled at ringside. Killings got in the most offense, which according to Booking 101 means he'll be the first eliminated. Christian and Killings worked together against Jarrett as Sting brawled with Abyss. Christian and Killings danced, smiled, and shook hands, but Killings then blindsided Christian with a kick leading to a two count. Idiot. Christian cleared the ring of Jarrett, then dove onto him at ringside off the top rope. Sting and Abyss entered the ring. Sting and Killings took turns punching Abyss. Abyss broke through a double clothesline attempt and set up a chokeslam. They poked his eyes to stop him. Sure, he can withstand thumbtacks… but a thumb to the eye stops him dead. Killings hit his spinning legdrop, then asked the crowd "What's up?!" They shouted back, "What's up!?" It’s crazy how over Killings is despite any sort of big push. Crazy. Killings flipped onto Jarrett, Christian, and Abyss at ringside. Sting then climbed to the top of the penalty cage in the ring, but completely oversold it as he often does. Making me and the rest of the world wonder why nobody moved out of his way. Sting then dove off the top of the cage onto all four. In the ring, Sting gave Jarrett a Stinger Splash. Whooo. Killings then hit Jarrett with a top rope dropkick and a pin. That was Jarrett's way of showing he was willing to be the first to job, which shows he's not a glory hound after all despite winning in the end. The only problem being that if he does win, then your NWA champ just got pinned by a dropkick and looks like a bitch. Anyway, as a result, per the match rules, Killings was now eligible to win the match and Jarrett had to spend two minutes in the penalty box without a chance to score a win. Christian teeter-tottered a ladder over the middle rope into Killings's chin for a two count. Abyss broke up the count. Tenay said he didn't understand why Abyss would break up the pin, and West actually CORRECTED Tenay with the obvious answer, which was that Abyss didn't want Christian to be eligible to win the match. I still hate Don West though. Christian then schoolboyed Abyss for a three count. Fire, barb wire, thumbtacks and chairs can’t stop him, but a roll-up can? Insane. Abyss clotheslined Christian before going to the penalty cage at 6:00. Jarrett pleaded with Abyss that they should work together, scared of what would happen when Abyss entered the cage. This just in… Jarrett is a pussy. Jarrett’s two minutes expired just as Abyss entered.

Jarrett attacked Christian at ringside, ramming him into the ringpost. Then he sandwiched Christian in a ladder and stepped on it. He’s hardcore. Sting, meanwhile, beat up Killings inside the ring. Jarrett and Abyss worked together to stack two tables at ringside. Sting went over the top with Abyss on a clothesline. Killings moved toward Jarrett, and the director inexplicably decided to cut away to a gasping Sting at ringside. Why?! When they cut back to the ring, Killings was straddling the top rope. What did I miss?! Jarrett gave Killings his Stroke off the top rope into the railing at ringside, then scored a three count on the floor. The stroke is such a lame move. The only person who takes it right is AJ. Jarrett was now eligible to win, while Killings headed to the penalty box (since he already qualified, that didn't hurt him much as it gave him a chance to rest). Christian and Jarrett fought into the crowd. Christian choked Jarrett on a fence as Abyss and Sting brawled in the crowd elsewhere. Sting gave Abyss a stiff chairshot. In the ring, Killings was released from the penalty box and smartly went into the ring with the belt to climb the ladder. No way was that two minutes. Unfortunately, he looked like a complete idiot as he took forever to set up and climb the ladder, then misjudged how high he had to climb. So he pins Jarrett with a dropkick but he cant set up a ladder or climb the right height? Ok. That gave Abyss a chance to knock him off the ladder. Jarrett and Abyss worked together with the ladder to lift and dump Killings over the top rope. Christian and Sting dropkicked the ladder into Jarrett and Abyss. Nice spot. Christian put Jarrett in the upside down ladder in a V-position and tried to climb it. Ouch. Abyss lifted Christian onto his shoulders and they both tumbled to the floor. Killings again set up the ladder and misjudged how high he had to climb and looked like a complete dolt again. GOD DAMN IT RON! Climb all the rungs!!!! At 18:00 Abyss again dumped him over the top rope, then swung the ladder backwards to knock out Hebner. Who took a majestic bump. Like he’d just been POUUUUUUUUUNCED (PERIOD). Abyss grabbed the belt and was going to climb the ladder, but Jarrett yelled at him and snatched it away. Abyss gave him a Black Hole Slam and scored a three count by ref Slick Johnson. Yey! That meant Jarrett had to spend two minutes in the penalty box and Abyss was eligible to win. Larry Zbyszko entered the ring. Boo. Tenay didn't address what kind of power Zbyszko now has with Cornette officially present. Probably because nobody cares about Larry Z. Abyss climbed the ladder. Sting tipped the ladder over and knocked Abyss through two side-by-side stacks of two tables. Abyss is hardcore. Three of the four broke in half. Sting was not eligible to win, so he walked past the ladder. Christian took some shots at Sting, but Sting no-sold them. Sting then fired back and took Christian out with a Stinger Splash. He applied the Scorpion Deathlock, trying to qualify to win the match. When Jarrett entered the ring with the belt, Tenay and West wondered if he had served the full two minutes. As Jarrett climbed the ladder, Sting released Christian and went after Jarrett. Jarrett hit Sting with the belt a few times, then grabbed his guitar. Christian yanked the guitar away from Jarrett, and then Sting gave Jarrett a Russian Leg Sweep. Even though he’d been smacked in the head with the belt? I have one word for Sting… selling. Sting grabbed the belt and tried to revive the ref. Sting, though, tossed the belt to Christian and told him to climb it as he put Jarrett in the Scorpion. Ain’t that nice of him? Larry Zbyszko entered the ring and low-blowed Christian as he was about to climb the ladder. Why do they push Larry down our throats?! Sting then punched Zbyszko, who took a cartoon bump out of the ring. I hate Larry. Jarrett then surprised Sting with a Stroke attempt, but Sting reversed it with a Death Drop. Or a reverse DDT depending on your personal preference. Sting made the cover and slapped the left arm of the KO'd Hebner on the mat three times. Tenay acted as if that was as official as anything, not questioning whether that would be unofficial, which made Tenay seem biased or stupid. Or both. He’s still not as bad as Don West, though. As Sting climbed the ladder to win, Christian met him on top and yanked on the belt. Hebner inexplicably got up at that point and pushed over the ladder, knocking both Sting and Christian over the top rope. It’s Survivor Series ’97 all over again! Have we gone back in time? Jarrett got up and climbed the ladder to win. Fans began booing and pelted the ring with garbage. Rightly so.

WINNER: Jeff Jarrett at 23:00 to apparently win the NWA World Hvt. Title.

STAR RATING: ***1/2 – Some good high-spots but some very weird spots and strange booking lower the overall rating. The Survivor Series ’97 rehash was a pretty unpredictable idea for the finish, but the inclusion of Larry Z is just annoying.

-As the fans threw more and more debris into the ring, Zbyszko and Hebner ran for cover. Suddenly ref Rudy Charles ran up and yanked the belt out of Jarrett's hands and gave it to Cornette who was now standing on the stage. Cornette looked at the belt and smiled before leaving as Jarrett let out some ridiculously horrible "No!" yells while looking like an ass as the picture faded to black.

Ok well that was just the beginning, expect Impact up sometime this weeked. With a full roster review and some more story type things.

The next show will be the July 6th epsidoe of Impact and so will discuss the two shows after Slammiversary and the controversy surrouding the NWA title.

- SPOILER ALERT -

If ya don't wanna read, then look away now

-----------------------------------

Matches announced for July 6th Impact

Jim Cornette announces his changes to TNA, including explanations for his decision to give Jeff Jarrett the belt.

Senshi vs Unnamed Opponent for the X-Division Title.

Chris Sabin and 'The Fallen Angel' Christopher Daniels vs Austin Aries and Roderick Strong

Raven vs Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Heavyweight Title

------------------------------------

Also I've just noticed that I spelt 'prodigal' wrong in the title. Could someone change that? Pretty please. I'm sure nobody noticed.

From PWTorch.com

TNA set to be pillaged by star hungry WWE?

Unofficial reports leaked from TNA suggest that several former WWE wrestlers have refused to sign exclusive deals with Florida based company.

Reports seem to indicate that WWE is interested in signing back some of these workers to bolster both their ECW roster and their ravaged Smackdown! Roster.

Those thought to be in talks with WWE include;

• Christian Cage

• America’s Most Wanted

• Scott Steiner

• Team 3D

• Kip James

• Rhino

And probably most shocking of all

• Jeff Jarrett

More news on this as we get it.