rockyoursox
-
Posts
46 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Store
Posts posted by rockyoursox
-
-
JUNE 25, 2006
EARL POLERO BINGO HALL
I was backstage with Sophie, who I had talked into driving into Brooklyn for the show, RCW Code Red. She eyed just about everyone suspiciously as she walked through the backstage area, where the wrestlers were in various stages of costume. After giving perhaps the least approving look of all-time to Twiggy, who was wearing an inside-out tuxedo shirt with a gigantic ketchup stain (god, I hope that was ketchup), Sophie turned me, clearly ready to spout off some inspirational message regarding RCW. However, she was silenced when Kid Fantastic, wearing nothing but his mask and jock, came barreling through the door. Sophie got out the first sound of whatever she was trying to say, but the sound just died in midair as her mouth slacked open, gawking at the fantastic physique of the Kid. He was clearly embarrassed, and I’d assume he blushed under the mask – no real way of knowing, though.
Fantastic: Oh…um…sorry ma’am, I didn’t think we, um, we had any, y’know, women backstage and all…
Sophie continued to gawk downward, coming nowhere near eye contact (or contact with his outstretched hand, for that matter). I figured that this wasn’t going to go much further without someone else saying something, so I jumped in.
Me: Sophie, this is one of our wrestlers, Kid Fantastic. Kid, meet Sophie, my secretary.
Fantastic: Oh, I…..I….pleasure to meet you, Sophie
Sophie: …yeah…..
Fantastic: Um….OK, I gotta go get ready for my match…and stuff. I’ll see you later, Bruce.
Kid Fantastic turned and jogged briskly away from the not-at-all insanely awkward situation, but only wearing his jock, Sophie got a good (and I mean GOOD) look at the vanishing Fantastic. I thought her eyes were going to pop out Looney Toons-style, and I kept an eye out for smoke blowing out of her ears, her eyes turning into slot machines with hearts in them, or small diapered children with bow and arrows floating around.
Me: So Sophie, what do you think of Kid Fantastic?
Sophie: I…I guess he’s pretty good…you know, for an idiot wrestler and all.
Me: Of course. Now why don’t you head over to the main table…
Sophie: Which one?
Me: …the ONLY table and get the paperwork I drew up all sorted out.
As Sophie walked over, keeping her eyes peeled for Kid Fantastic, I just chuckled to myself, glad to see I finally had a card to play with her. I had gotten one person down to see an RCW show – now I just needed to get Jack to come by. He had indeed gone on vacation with his girlfriend Mandy, booking a trip down to St. Croix with a couple of his friends. I was surprised Ellen had let him go on that trip alone with Mandy, but from what I gathered from Jack’s e-mail, it was basically a present for doing so well at the end of last year. She had actually communicated with me without using one of her two (TWO!) $200 an hour lawyers that were handling our divorce for the first time a week ago informing me of some college visits that she was planning on taking Jack on, and wanted to know if I could handle one of them in mid July. I had agreed, looking to salvage any sort of cooperation that might exist between us. I was looking forward to seeing Jack then, but I was definitely disappointed that he wouldn’t get to see my show in July either. I had to get him to my August show – otherwise, school started and I lost any chance I had at grabbing him until his Christmas break, at least.
As I was off in my own little world, I didn’t even notice Katsushi coming up behind me, and I think I nearly jumped out of my cross-trainers when he tapped me on the shoulder. As I twirled around, I comically raised my hand like I thought I could take whoever it was - I’m pretty sure everyone, including Sophie and Francoise, could school me.
Takemura: I am very sorry, Mr. Hawkins. My mistake.
Me: Oh…no problem, Katsushi. What is it?
Takemura paused for a moment, readying himself before talking to me.
Takemura: I am very glad that Renaissance Champion Wrestling has let me wrestle for them, and I thank you. However, I am wondering if tonight maybe I can do more than wrestle.
Me: What exactly do you mean, Mr. Takemura?
Takemura: I am wondering if maybe I could take a turn on the microphone and talk to the people in the crowd. I am sure they would be liking to learn more about Katsushi Takemura, and I think that I can do a very good job talking to them and letting them learn more about me.
I flashed back to the last couple shows, where Katsushi had gotten almost no crowd reaction whatsoever, despite his extremely strong performances in the ring.
Me: I don’t know, Kat…you didn’t really light the crowd on fire the last couple of shows…
Takemura: Oh, I know, Mister Hawkins. That is why I am wondering if I can speak to them, so they can learn more about Katsushi Takemura and have a reason to chant for me like they do for other people.
I hemmed and hawed for a moment before coming to a decision:
Me: OK, fine, you can go on before we officially start things off and try to say your piece to the crowd. Just make sure to be lose out there, and put over how good you are in the ring. Don’t slip into Asian or anything though, you’d totally lose them
Katsushi frowned for just a moment, which surprised me, but then shook his head and gave me a small smile.
Takemura: Thank you very much, Mr. Hawkins! Now the crowd will finally have their chance to get to know Katsushi Takemura and begin to cheer for me!
As Takemura headed to the ring, the generic music Sound Guy had whipped up played over our tinny speaker system. I gotta say, for someone who calls himself the Sound Guy, I expected a little better taste in music composition. This sounded like it had been background music in Dominatrix Queens 28. As the music went off, and Katsushi got ready to talk, I just hoped I hadn’t made a big mistake in sending him out there with a live microphone.
===============
RCW CODE RED
JUNE 25, 2006
EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY
Katsushi Speaks!
It didn’t take long for me to get a resounding ‘yes’ to that question, as Katsushi could have started a little bit stronger.
Takemura: Ladies and gentlemen, I know I have been a loser sometimes in Renaissance Champion Wrestling, but I would like to tell you why I am someone who you should cheer for!
OK – one sentence in, and he had called himself a loser and bungled the full name of the promotion. Nowhere to go but up, right?
Takemura: There are many reasons why you should like me. The first of those reasons is that I enjoy you, the people who pay to watch RCW! And if I enjoy you, you enjoy me! That is the first reason why you should cheer for me! The second reason you should yell for me is that I am a nice man, and I do not hurt people unless I need to in a match, even though I can make people hurt badly.
The crowd of 204 – back to its old size now that Adam Flash knew to let the Polero ‘family’ into the building – was less than impressed with Katsushi’s reasoning, with only a particularly sarcastic whoop of “YEAH WHOOOOOOOO!” coming from the back of the crowd – which was only about 12 feet from Takemura, who clearly noticed the cry. Of course, he reacted positively to it – man, that Asian was one clueless guy.
Takemura: Thank you, RCW fan! I hope that all your friend fans will cheer for me too! And I am sure they will when they are done hearing my third and best reason to cheer for me as their favorite! My third reason is that Katsushi Takemura will someday be the champion of this wrestling place, and then you can say that you are friends of the champion! So that is why you should cheer for me!
Near silence meets Takemura, but the one idiot in the back (who HAS to be related to Earl) continued to whoop it up, giving Katsushi a giant smile on his face. As he thanked the crowd and handed his microphone to Joe Wheeler, I ran my hands through my rapidly-thinning hair and realized that we needed to do SOMETHING about Takemura.
RATING: 30
===============
Adam Flash Hits The Ring!
Fortunately, with Adam Flash on his way down to the ring, the clearly negative murmuring in the crowd ebbed away as they watched Flash, whom some knew as their ticket taker. However, those who had been at the last couple of shows remembered Flash as the dastardly villain he was who cheated to beat happy-go-lucky youngster Simon Sanders, and the more vocal fans (led by Earl once again) let Flash have a round of boos that would have been quite deafening if more than 10 people had joined in. However, it did come off as a minor annoyance, which is some of the best heat we’ve gotten from the crowd so far. Flash got into the ring, took the microphone away from Joe Wheeler, and got ready to lay a big helping of his idea of ‘truth’ on the crowd.
Flash: Listen up, people, and everyone in the back better listen up to! The next RCW World Champion is talking here!
A few boos roll down on him, but Flash, that evil man, fails to succumb to the crowd’s visceral hatred.
Flash: Last week, I picked up a win in this ring, 1-2-3. And at Kick Start, during the Wlrd Title match, I was never pinned! The promo king who was out here earlier, HE was the one who got pinned by Beckett! I never lost my shot at the title, and with the win I picked up last week, I think it’s more than clear that I am the most deserving of the next title shot!
Flash lowers the microphone and paces a little around the ring, seemingly looking for confirmation in the crowd. All he gets is a lot of apathy, and Earl flipping him off.
Flash: Now I want Chance Beckett to get out here right now! At No-Sell The Sabbath, there was a title match to start the show! I want that belt now, and I’m sure as hell not waiting until the end of the show to get it! Get out here, Beckett!
Flash puts his hands on his hips, waiting for Beckett to come walking through the curtain. After a few seconds, the curtain parts, but instead, George Sand and Francoise come walking through the curtain. The crowd murmurs, wondering where the champ is, as Francoise takes out her own microphone (Sound Guy had a spare lying around) and starts his rebuttal.
Francoise: Hey, Adam Flash, before you make yourself the King of the Universe, how about you take a look at the REAL #1 contender to the RCW World Title, GEORGE SAND!
Flash: Oh come ON, why the hell does he deserve a shot?
Francoise: George was in that World Title match just like you were, and he wasn’t pinned either! He also won his match on the last show too!
Flash: So?
Francoise: Well, there were two differences to how HE won. First of all, he won in the main event against Katsushi Takemura. YOU won in the midcard against Simon Sanders. And secondly, George won clean. You, on the other hand, cheated!
George smiles at Francoise’s side as Flash glowers in the ring before shouting back:
Flash: So the hell what? A win over Sushi Boy doesn’t mean anything! The guy’s 0-2 here! We all know that I’m the one who deserves the next title shot!
Francoise is about to reply, but George puts his hand on her shoulder before taking the microphone from her.
Sand: Hey Flash, this is how it’s gonna happen. Apparently Chance Beckett ain’t gonna be here tonight, so neither of us are getting that title shot we want. But we’re both here, right?
Flash: What are you saying, jackass? You want a piece of me?
Sand: Damn right I do! Me and you, one on one. Whoever wins, a.k.a. me, gets the title shot we want at Chance Beckett. The other one, a.k.a. you, bitches and moans until they need a new tampon. You game or what?
Flash goes through an exaggerated routine of mulling the question over in the ring, scratching his head and rubbing his chin. He fakes adjusting a pair of glasses, then brings the microphone back up, a spark in his eye.
Flash: OK Sand, you’re on! Tonight, me and you! And once I’m done with you…and when I’m done with her…I’m going to next month’s show and winning myself the RCW World Title!
Francoise: The road to the title goes through George Sand, Flash! And just like grains of sand, that title shot is gonna slip right through your fingers!
RATING: 52
NOTES: Adam Flash gained overness from this segment. George Sand gained overness from this segment.
===============
Fred Laney vs. Sweatsuit Steve
Sweatsuit Steve is the first one out for this opening match of the evening. Tonight, he’s decked out in a royal purple sweatsuit with giant gold lettering on the back, spelling out his name. As announcer Joe Wheeler wonders if Steve is paying tribute to the LSU Tigers being in the Final Four, the god-awful rendition of “Prince Ali” that Fred Laney did on the last show kicks up. I worriedly look around for a video screen or a lawyer wearing mouse ears, but all I see is Fred Laney parading in from the back, marching in time to “Fred Laney” (at least I assume that’s what he titled it). Laney rolls into the ring and stares down Steve as the bell rings to start the match. It doesn’t take long for Laney, who looks to be in significantly better shape than he was when he debuted a couple of months ago, to take control of the match with a huge right cross, a move he’s taken to calling the Wonderpunch. The referee takes to calling it an illegal closed fist and threatens to DQ Laney, but Steve takes advantage of the distraction and rolls Laney up with a schoolboy! 1………..2………….no! Laney kicks out at just the last second. He LEAPS to his feet, enraged at being caught napping like that. A clothesline takes Steve back down, and the next 30 seconds consist of Laney laying boot after boot after boot into the unprotected side of Sweatsuit Steve. After planting Steve squarely in the middle of the ring with a DDT, Laney heads to the corner and lines up his innocent victim as he staggers to his feet. As Steve staggers around, trying to find his opponent, Fred launches himself through the air and crushes Steve with a spectacular spear! Laney drives him straight into the canvas and immediately rolls into the pin, even hooking the leg. 1……….2……….3, and it’s all over! Fred Laney picks up a win in his first-ever RCW match!
RATING: 45
CROWD: 25
MATCH: 66
===============
"Trippin'" With: Kid Fantastic!
As the show continues on, Sound Guy and Mike Hunter help Dave Tripps lift the Trippin’ ‘set’ into the ring, still consisting of three broken-down chairs and a desk. Never let it be said that RCW doesn’t know production values. Dave Tripps finishes loading the equipment into the ring, then throws on a sport coat and slips behind his desk, looking sweaty but ready to go.
Tripps: Hello, everyone! I’d like to thank everyone here in my studio audience for coming out to support the fasting-growing talk sensation in the wrestling world, Trippin’! Starring me, Dave Tripps! After last week’s controversial episode, I would like to make a public apology for my actions against Chance Beckett. It was wrong of me to leap over my desk and attempt to destroy my welcome guest, and it was even worse of me to do that after the generous claim of Mr. Beckett to offer up title shots to all those who were worthy. Let me assure you that on all future episodes of Trippin’, such an incident will not be repeated.
Tripps lets out a loud deep breath, seemingly happy to have this off his chest.
Tripps: Now, onto happier notes. This week on Trippin’, we have a guest who took quite a beating last week at the hands of Kurt Lauderdale. He is also undefeated in Renaissance Championship Wrestling competition, having picked up wins on each of RCW’s first two shows! Please welcome to the Trip, Mr. Kid Fantastic!
Kid Fantastic comes walking down the ramp, looking happy to be out there. He takes a seat across from Dave Tripps, who’s smiling widely at his guest.
Tripps: Welcome to Trippin’, Kid Fantastic!
Fantastic: I’m honored to be on the show, Dave. Thank you for having me.
Tripps: So Kid, how does it feel to be one of only two men to go 2-0 in RCW action so far?
Fantastic: It feels really good, Dave. I haven’t been a pro wrestler for a particularly long time, and I thought I might be a little overmatched against some guys who had been around for a long time. Still, with the way I’ve been winning so far, I’m making a lot of money, and it can go a long way towards paying for my education.
Tripps: That brings me to my next question: why wrestle to earn money instead of picking up a normal job?
Fantastic: Well, I could have just worked as a desk jockey at the campus library, but that’s not how I wanted to do things. I like wrestling, and most people don’t get to work at something they actually enjoy. So in that case, I’m actually quite lucky. And secondly, the timing is perfect. The shows are almost always on weekends, so I can concentrate on school during the week.
Tripps: He can boast victories over school and wrestlers alike! However, last month at No-Sell The Sabbath, you ran into the one defeat you’ve had to deal with recently: a vicious beating at the hands of one Kurt Lauderdale. How do you feel about what he did you?
Fantastic: Honestly, I have no idea why he chose to do what he did last month. It was a completely unprovoked and unnecessary action, and one that certainly won’t make him a lot of friends around here in RCW. He’s just a bully.
Tripps: A bully, you say?
Fantastic: That’s exactly what he is. Clearly he’s got some kind of problem with himself, and he decided to take it out on me. We read all about guys like him in my Intro to Psych class. He’s a classic case of low self-esteem.
Tripps: Well, quite the statement from Kid Fantastic. But now, as you can see by the empty seat we have here, it’s time to hear the OTHER side of the story!
Fantastic: What?
Tripps: Would everyone please join me in giving a big Trippin’ welcome to Mr. Kurt Lauderdale!
Fantastic: WHAT!?!
Kid Fantastic can only alternate between an annoyed glare at Tripps and a nervous glance at Kurt Lauderdale walking purposefully down to the ring. Lauderdale slides into the ring and takes a seat next to Kid Fantastic
Lauderdale: Thanks for having me Dave. Good to see you again, Kid.
Lauderdale spits out the last word, looking disgusted as he says it. Kid Fantastic’s eyes flit back and forth anxiously as Kurt Lauderdale grins maniacally at him.
Tripps: Glad you could make it, Kurt. Now, I’m not sure that you heard backstage, but just a moment ago, Mr. Fantastic here made some comments regarding you. He called you a ‘bully’, said you had ‘low self-esteem’, that your attack was ‘completely unprovoked’, and that you ‘clearly have some kind of problem’. How do you feel about those comments?
Lauderdale smiles fakely, then starts talking in a sleazy, car-salesman kind of voice
Lauderdale: Dave, I thought they were very hurtful comments, and they were really not necessary at all. Last week, this guy mouthed off to me backstage, and he got what he deserved. If you’re gonna talk to me like that, you better hope your bite’s as good as your bark!
Fantastic: Oh come on, that’s ridiculous! I didn’t do anything to you!
Tripps: You’ll get your turn, Mr. Fantastic. You were saying, Kurt?
Lauderdale: I don’t see how anyone could call me a bully. I’d call you self-absorbed and thoughtless, personally.
Fantastic: Shut your damn mouth!
Lauderdale: You want another round, idiot? I’ll make last month look like a walk in the goddamn park!
Fantastic: I’m not scared of you! You’re not just gonna push me around!
Lauderdale: OK, punk, that’s it! Let’s go!
And for the second week in a row, Trippin’ degenerates into a brawl. Lauderdale and Kid Fantastic jump each other and start rolling around on the canvas, throwing punches at each other. Tripps goes leaping over the desk, helping to break up the fight. Mike Hunter, Sound Guy, and Joe Wheeler all get in the ring as well, dragging the two men apart from each other. As they jaw back and forth at each other, the still-live microphones catch Lauderdale screaming at Kid Fantastic.
Lauderdale: You’re on! Tonight! I’ll see you later tonight!
Fantastic: You’re going down, asshole!
RATING: 50
NOTES: Kurt Lauderdale gained overness from this segment. Kid Fantastic gained overness from this segment. Dave Tripps gained overness from this segment.
===============
John Wellington vs. Katsushi Takemura vs. Sam Artino vs. Simon Sanders
Once the melee in the ring has been broken up and the ring cleared of the set, we’re set with a four-way match. Takemura is first to act, throwing himself at Artino. Artino’s too powerful for him, however, and throws him into the corner before slugging away. Sanders and Wellington, who met in RCW’s first-ever match, look at that display before tangling up with each other, both of them wanting to stay away from big Sam Artino. Sanders tosses Wellington to the outside, then heads to the outside apron, waiting for Wellington to get up. Wellington staggers to his feet, cursing under his breath, while Sanders plays to the crowd. Wellington turns, then gets taken down by a Sanders asai moonsault! The two are down on the outside as Sam Artino has Takemura locked firmly in the bearhug, squishing the life out of him. Takemura manages to finally escape with a series of side elbows to the head, then rolls out of the ring. He and Sanders begin brawling as Wellington is still down from the moonsault. Artino slides out, grabs the downed Wellington, rolls him into the ring, and goes for the cover. 1……..2……..no, Wellington kicks out! Artino picks him up and puts him into a bearhug of his own as Takemura rolls Sanders into the ring as well. Takemura grabs Sanders and lifts him up, hitting him with the brainbuster! At nearly the same time, Sam Artino lifts Wellington up before planting him with the Canadian backbreaker! Both men go for the cover at nearly the same instant, forcing referee Mike Hunter to choose! He slides in next to Takemura, counting his pinfall. Artino sees this and frees himself from Wellington’s limbs, trying to break the count. 1………..2…………..3! JUST before Artino can break up the pinfall, Katsushi Takemura picks up the pinfall for the win!
RATING: 51
CROWD: 29
MATCH: 74
===============
More Trouble In Paradise?
We cut backstage to George Sand and Francoise, who are walking away from the curtain, having watched the four-way bout won by Takemura.
Francoise: That brainbuster looks like it really hurts, George…you’re really lucky you didn’t get hit with that last month.
Sand: Yeah, I don’t know if I could have kicked out of that one.
Francoise: You know, maybe you should just quit while you’re out ahead and you still have your health, you know? My dad still said he could get you into the training program at his office and all.
Sand: Not now Franny, not now. I got a huge match tonight, and I just don’t have time for all of this junk. I can’t beat Adam Flash if I’m concentrating on this stuff with you. And if you distract me like that, THAT’S when the chances of me getting hurt go up.
Francoise: But the chances of you getting hurt only exist if you get into that ring, George!
Sand: Not NOW! I have a chance to get a title shot, Francoise! You know how much I’d love to be champion of a promotion, especially if it meant beating a guy like Chance Beckett to earn it!
Francoise: Fine, George, fine.
Sand: C’mon Franny, you know I want you out there with me! And you’re the best scout I could ask for! You gave me a ton of great info on Takemura last time! I need that same information from you again!
Francoise: Well….I did notice a couple of things…
Sand: Great! C’mon, let’s go over our strategy!
RATING: 59
NOTES: George Sand gained overness from this segment. Francoise gained overness from this segment.
===============
Kid Fantastic vs. Kurt Lauderdale
Kurt Lauderdale is the first man in the ring, stalking from corner to corner like a caged animal. Kid Fantastic’s music hits, and he comes sprinting down the aisle, wasting no time. He launches himself under the bottom rope, springs up, and starts swinging away at Lauderdale. The two go into an all-out brawl, swinging away at each other, scratching and clawing for any edge. Kid Fantastic hits the one aerial move of the match with a missile dropkick off the top rope, taking Lauderdale to the mat. With Lauderdale grounded, Kid Fantastic tries another top rope move, but Lauderdale rolls out of the way. He hits Kid Fantastic with a low stomp, then lays the boots to him. Kid Fantastic manages to rally back however, and eventually lands a series of rights before hitting a dropkick that sends Lauderdale over the top rope and to the outside! Kid Fantastic goes sprinting to the other end of the ring, then goes running at full blast before taking off through the air for a suicide dive. However, Lauderdale has grabbed a chair from ringside, and swings it baseball-style straight into Fantastic’s head! Kid Fantastic crumples into a heap on the ground as Mike Hunter calls for the bell, giving Kid Fantastic a DQ win. However, Lauderdale isn’t done, as he swings the chair again, crushing Kid Fantastic’s head into the mat. I heard Sophie gasp from behind me as Lauderdale swung one last time, leaving Kid Fantastic completely motionless on the ground. The crowd boos Lauderdale heavily as he drops the chair and swaggers to the back, looking very proud of himself. Something tells me the Kid isn’t gonna be quite as happy about making it to 3-0….
RATING: 54
CROWD: 33
MATCH: 75
===============
Twiggy On The Stick!
The crowd was still buzzing after the vicious beating, but the sight of Twiggy, still wearing his inside-out tuxedo shirt, definitely gets their attention. He takes about five steps out from behind the curtain, then decides that the aisle seems to be a perfectly good place to talk from.
Twiggy: Fred Laney is a jerk! He’s a big mean jerk and I don’t like him!
The crowd isn’t quite sure what to make of it, but Twiggy doesn’t give them any extra time to think about it.
Twiggy: He’s so stupid! He was very mean to me, even though I didn’t do anything wrong! I didn’t know he had a monopoly on orange! I like orange things! I liked his orange boot, so I was talking with it, and he took it from me! Then I liked his orange bag, and he speared me for talking to that! He’s just jealous because his orange found friends and wouldn’t talk to him anymore because he was much meaner to his orange than I was!
The crowd is literally dead silent at this point, but at least they’re hanging on his every word.
Twiggy: So Fred Laney, me and my friends Boot and Bag have a very important request for you. Please, stop keeping all the orange for yourself! Share the orange! FREE THE ORANGE! And all of you, keep the orange free! Thank you!
Twiggy walks to the back, practically skipping, as the crowd sits back and tries to digest what they just heard. I hid the orange I had peeled and grabbed an apple instead.
RATING: 47
NOTES: Twiggy gained overness from this segment
===============
RCW WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH
Adam Flash vs. George Sand
George Sand and Francoise are the first to enter, and they get down to the ring with Francoise appearing to have calmed down once again. As Adam Flash enters, Francoise points at him and starts talking quickly to a nodding Sand, going over last-minute strategy. Flash doesn’t waste any time, sliding into the ring and slamming into Sand while Francoise is still at his side. Sand and Flash start trading punches, knees, chops, and just about anything else they have as Francoise rolls out of the ring, breathing heavily.
Sand and Flash are both breathing heavily as well as they try to get the upper hand. Flash finally gets a rollup, but Sand reverses it, and the two men trade two counts back and forth before Flash finally breaks free. The two men leap up and pause, receiving the obligatory round of applause from the fans. Sand lashes out with a big right, then whips Flash into the ropes and back body drops him. Sand tries to capitalize, going for a running dropkick, but Flash rolls out of the way. He grabs Sand from behind, still on the ground, and locks on a rear sleeper, slowing the pace of the match down. Francoise yells on encouragement from the sideline as George finally powers to his feet, elbows his way out of the sleeper hold, and clotheslines Flash down.
Flash is up quickly, but Sand is on the attack. Sand beats down Flash, then whips him into the corner. After a quick run of chops, Sand lifts Flash into a sitting position on the turnbuckle. He climbs up with him, scoops Flash up, and leaps off with a backflip! Sand keeps his hold on Flash, and sends him crashing into the mat with a beautiful fallaway moonsault from the top rope! Sand presses down for the pin as the referee slides into position! 1………….2……………..NO! Flash kicks out at JUST the last second, and the crowd moans, thinking a #1 contender had been decided.
Francoise, who might not have started breathing again after seeing that move, doesn’t look particularly happy to see George climbing the turnbuckle again. She yells something out to him, causing George to yell down to her. However, the distraction is enough for Adam Flash to run up and crotch Sand on the turnbuckle! Sand moans in agony, and Flash follows with an incredible enziguri, using the bottom turnbuckle as leverage, that connects squarely with the head of Sand, who goes tumbling off the top rope all the way to the outside! Francoise screams and goes to tend to her man, but Adam Flash is quickly outside and shoves Francoise out of the way. He goes to grab Sand, but Francoise comes rushing back in, grabbing at Flash angrily. This doesn’t sit well with Flash, and he roughly shoves her into the guardrail. Suddenly, Flash’s eyes bug out as Sand connects with a BRUTAL low blow from behind. Flash drops to his knees, but an enraged Sand drags him to his feet and rolls him into the ring. Sand grabs the still-reeling Flash and scoops him up before planting him square in the middle of the ring with the Sands of Time! The Juvi driver has Flash out cold, and Sand makes the cover! 1……………2…………………..3! George Sand leaps to his feet, and a recovered Francoise rushes in and grabs George as Mike Hunter raises the hand of the new #1 Contender to the RCW World Title to end the show!
RATING: 57
CROWD: 40
MATCH: 75
OVERALL: 52
-
JUNE 3, 2006
RCW ‘HEADQUARTERS’
I had convinced Sophie to step foot in my apartment for more than 3 minutes today, telling her we needed to go over a lot of stuff for the fed. She sounded skeptical, but I told her I had hired a maid service, which was enough to get her over. It wasn’t TRUE, per se – the building had mandated a maid service for me after all the crap, but the moral was that apartment 423 was now perfectly clean and ready to receive visitors. I missed the smell of stale pizza, but I guess pine forest would grow on me too.
Sophie came in with a distinct look of relief on her face and plopped down in the one comfortable chair in the place. Goddamn bitch always did that – when I worked for Fidelity, I had to give her a nicer chair than I had. The other secretaries at Fidelity hated her with a blinding passion for getting such a nice setup out of me – I swear that chair cost Fidelity hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost productivity during the years Sophie and I were there. I would have taken the chair away, but it would have meant me throwing Sophie out with it. And that just wasn’t going to happen – despite the $400 leather chair, she was by far the best secretary in the company, and there was no chance I was going to lose her.
I guess the loyalty paid off in the end, since she was willing to come with me and set up Renaissance Championship Wrestling. I was thrilled to have someone to lend a hand with all the administrative stuff. I was miserable at it the entire time I was with Fidelity – I really have no idea how I survived until I got my own secretary. It’s a minor miracle, really. Despite Sophie’s incredible administrative talents, there were two problems with her position. Number one, she knew absolutely nothing about wrestling. She knew Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, and the Rock. That was it. The second problem was that Sophie was rather proud that she knew nothing about wrestling, seeing it as completely juvenile. The conversations could definitely be a little bit grating when Sophie’s hatred for wrestling combined with her secretarial personality – which was exactly what happened today.
Sophie: Hi Bruce, good to see you. Say, do you know how long this is going to take? I have a manicure scheduled for four this afternoon, and you know how hard it is for me to get Mario to take care of my little tootsies!
Me: Yeah, Sophie, I know. Anyways, we should only be about 30 minutes assuming everything adds up, so you’ll make it just fine. So, what do you have for finance numbers?
Sophie: We scraped out a profit last month with the cuts we made, so that’s good. Everyone’s still under contract, although I’m sure most people would like to be used this month.
Me: Yeah, I know – I think we might have made a few mistakes with the people we were hiring. I think it was worth shelling out to get some big names, but we broke the wage cap with a few people. We had said we would keep it at $20,000 or less per wrestler, and we broke it a few times.
Sophie: Yes, YOU did….don’t bring this ‘we’ into the conversation. You know I didn’t hire any of those ugly hairy guys who molest each other.
Me: Of course not, Sophie.
Sophie: But yes, you were right – you broke the wage cap we had set with three different workers, and came close with two others.
Me: Who were the guys who went over?
Sophie: Chance Beckett, Adam Flash, and 2 Dope. Beckett is $23,000 per appearance, Adam Flash is $27,000, and 2 Dope is $29,000 per appearance. Just booking the three of them to be in the same place is a major problem for us.
Me: Yeah, you’re right. There’s not a ton we can do about two of them, though.
Sophie: Beckett…he is the champion of this thing, right?
Me: Yeah. Flash is another guy who could be champion – I really wouldn’t want to lose him.
Sophie: What about 2 Dope…I bet he’s reading Shakespeare and sipping tea right now with a name like that.
Me: I really like his style – still, if someone has to go, I guess it’s him. Cutting him out of the loop should help.
Sophie: It will help, yes, but it will not be enough to get the entire job done. With the increases you made to the advertising budget AGAIN this month…
Me: Oh come on, I barely ticked it up this month!
Sophie: …with those changes, we are spending a lot more money in advertising than we were during our first show, where we used the entire roster and still lost money.
Me: Yeah, you’re right. We’ll have to be creative with our roster usage, I suppose.
Sophie: Yes, it will be a real shame to watch the slightly less expensive ugly meathead pretend to punch the other less expensive ugly meathead.
Me: Yeah, that’ll be a real damn shame, Sophie. A real goddamn shame.
Sophie: And speaking of overpaid meatheads, your winner guy…
Me: You mean Chance?
Sophie: Yes, Chance. He e-mailed the company account last night. He won’t be at the next show.
Me: No Chance for Code Red? Dammit!
Sophie: Code Red – what a cute name. How about ‘Deathzilla Battles Dracula’ for the next one?
Me: Somehow, Sophie, I just don’t see that happening.
Sophie: Your loss. I just know that your wonderful landlord would LOVE the title.
Me: Any changes in Earl’s situation, by the way?
Sophie: No, he is happy with the tickets he gets. He complained about not letting his brothers let in last month, though.
Me: Yeah, I know. There was a clear….mistake….with our ticket guy. Let Earl know that won’t be a problem this month.
Sophie: You know, I’m sure he would love to hear from you himself.
Me: Yeah…..yeah, you’re right. OK, anything else?
Sophie: No sir.
Me: Great. Here’s the show preview – can you get that formatted and put out by tomorrow?
Sophie: Fine, no problem. See you next week Bruce! Mario awaits!
---------------------
OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW CODE RED!
SUNDAY, JUNE 25, 2006
NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS MATCH
GEORGE SAND VERSUS ADAM FLASH
With both George Sand and Adam Flash, both losers in RCW’s inaugural title match, picking up wins last month at RCW No-Sell The Sabbath, both have staked a claim to the title shots that Chance Beckett claimed would be plentiful. With Beckett unable to attend Code Red, he has stipulated that his two challengers face each other to truly earn their place in the title match! Will the young Sand prevail and get a shot, or will the veteran Flash earn the one on one title shot he feels he so richly deserves?
FOUR WAY BOUT
KATSUSHI TAKEMURA vs. JOHN WELLINGTON vs. SIMON SANDERS vs. SAM ARTINO
Four of RCW’s finest will do battle in a four corners matchup at RCW Code Red! The winner will be well-positioned to move up in the world and possibly challenge for Chance Beckett’s title! Who will be the lucky man to escape this assuredly hectic match!
TRIPPIN’ HOSTS KID FANTASTIC!
Kid Fantastic is only one of two RCW superstars to pick up wins on each of the first two shows, and the other one has gold wrapped around his waist! When Kid Fantastic joins Dave Tripps for the hottest show in wrestling today, what will he have to say? Will he talk about his 2-0 record, or the attack laid on him by Kurt Lauderdale last month? Show up and find out!
AND MORE!
Many more of your favorite Renaissance Championship Wrestling superstars are scheduled to be at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, NY for RCW Code Red! Twiggy, Fred Laney, and Sweatsuit Steve will all be there to provide some of the top action in wrestling today! Buy your tickets now!
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY
RCW CODE RED!
-
RCW NO-SELL THE SABBATH
MAY 28, 2006
EARL POLERO BINGO HALL, BROOKLYN, NY
Hype video for Fred Laney
As our crowd of 207 people (the extra three were Earl’s ‘brothers’ from last time who couldn’t convince Adam Flash, acting as our ticket taker, that they were related to Earl) were still filing to their seats, a screen came down in front of the entranceway. The sounds of an antiquated projector starts rolling from the ring, where Sound Guy is precariously balancing the projector’s wobbly wheel. After a second, the film catches, and a video starts to roll on the screen, with music sounding very similar to “Prince Ali” from Aladdin rolling in the background…god, I hope no one in our audience is a Disney rep. A giant caption reads “FRED LANEY: A PRINCE AMONG MEN” as the lyrics kick in.
Make way for Fred Laney!
Say hey! It’s Fred Laney!
[We see clips of Fred Laney in his Syracuse lacrosse uniform posing for the camera, flexing and posing]
Hey! Clear the way in the old dim hall!
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!
[Here, we get Laney in a spot shadow on the lacrosse field in a still screen]
Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Oh, you’re gonna love this guy!
[The action starts up, and we’re treated to a montage of Laney’s greatest lacrosse hits]
Fred Laney! Fabulous he!
Laney runs through ya!
Genuflect, show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Feel free to slap his palm
Then come and enjoy his spectacular joie de vivre!
[Now, we have grainy high school football footage, with Laney spotshadowed on the far side of the screen – this time, we get a greatest hits package in football, with some spectacular runs and some bone-crushing tackles]
Fred Laney!
Mighty is he!
Laney runs through ya!
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping horde
From Georgetown, who prayed to their lord,
Who sent those goons all home sore?
Why, Fred Laney!
[Clips of Laney scoring 9 goals against Georgetown run, then we cut to a shot of his trophy room at home, which is completely filled]
He's got seventy-five golden medals!
First place ribbons?
He's got fifty-three
When it comes to awards and decorations
Has he got a few?
I'm telling you, it's a world-class resume!
[Now, it appears time for Fred Laney: the sensitive side. I know, just what we were all waiting for. We see him walking with a beautiful girl holding hands down by a river]
Fred Laney! Handsome is he, Laney runs through ya!
That physique! How can I speak
Weak at the knee
Well, get on out in that square,
adjust your jock and prepare
To gawk and grovel and lose to Fred Laney!
[We see clips of Laney training with a weight bag and going through what could be a severe exercise regimen, or could be a nice 45 second package that marks the most exercise he’s had since college]
He's got ninety-five white home jerseys
(He's got the jerseys, let's see the jerseys)
And to view them he charges no fee
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got fans, he's got diehards and junkies
(Proud to look out for him)
They bow to his whim, love watching him
They're just lousy with loyalty to Laney! Fred Laney!
[As shots of his hangers-on fade out, we have Fred Laney front and center with the American flag waving behind him]
Fred Laney!
Dominant he! Laney runs through ya!
Heard your title was a sight lovely to see
And that, good people, is why he got jacked up and dropped by
Strong as sixty elephants, patience galore
With his muscle and smile
A brass body and more
With his forty crusaders, his coaches, his trainers
His smile shining so brilliantly!
Make way for Fred Laneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
The audience is stunned, although I catch a couple of people humming “Prince Ali” to themselves. I just sat there, stunned, as Sound Guy calmly took the projector out of the ring, he and Dave Tripps replaced it with the set for “Trippin’”, and got the show underway.
…
I mean, PRINCE ALI?
RATING: 47
============================
"Trippin'" With The Champ
Dave Tripps: Hello everybody, and welcome to RCW No-Sell The Sabbath! And what batter way to kick off the hottest show in wrestling than with the hottest show in RCW? That’s right, it’s time for another episode of “Trippin’” with me, Dave Tripps!
He waits for anything besides the rather general malaise that meets him, but gets nothing.
Tripps: Well, before we get to the interview that all of you folks have been waiting for, a quick rundown of the news here in Renaissance Championship Wrestling. Tonight’s show will have a spectacular main event, as two men who competed for the RCW World Title at last month’s Kick Start, when George Sand takes on Japanese sensation Katsushi Takemura!
This gets a small round of applause, which seems to make Dave infinitely more relaxed
Tripps: That’s one of many great matches we have planned here for you tonight! However, while Sand and Takemura came out losers in the RCW World Title match at Kick Start, my guest here on Trippin’ was the competitor that outfought three other men to walk out the inaugural RCW World Champion! Fans, please give a big Trippin’ round of applause to the RCW World Champion, Chance Beckett!
Beckett’s music hits, and he comes strutting down to the ring, holding the RCW Title over his left shoulder. The crowd seems fairly split on Beckett, with some remembering his excellent match and title win, and some remembering his arrogant jerkoff interview. Beckett, for the record, looks like he couldn’t care less, just stroking the RCW belt on his way to the ring. He slides into the ring and plops down into the accompanying chair, missing Dave’s outstretched hand. He grimaces at the old chair, a spring surely pointing into his back (a prerequisite for any chair you find on the street for free, like we did with these), while Dave slides back into his seat, the smile never dimming on his face.
Tripps: Welcome to the Trip, Mr. Beckett, or should I say Mr. Champion?
Chance Beckett: Dave, I’m glad I can be here to let all the RCW faithful have a chance to see the new champion to kick off the night!
Tripps: Why don’t you tell us a little bit about the match, Chance?
Beckett: Well, it was a classic Beckett victory. Adam Flash thought he could steal a victory on me with that bridging German, but no chance that was gonna put me down, so I powered out of it on my own. All those other pinfalls, people were breaking up to make sure they had a chance, but Chance Beckett didn’t need any of that. If someone gets lucky enough to hit a move on me like that, I sure as heck don’t need anyone to break it for me!
Tripps: And the ending, how did that work out?
Beckett: I played possum a bit, letting all those other guys go at it and hit their big moves on each other. Takemura thought he had it won, but he wasn’t gonna pull off that brainbuster twice in a row! Give someone as good as me one look at a move, and it’s not getting done a second time!
The crowd is definitely shifting away from the Beckett camp, with a few punctuated boos slipping between Beckett’s sentences.
Tripps: Well, now that you are the RCW World Champion, what do you plan on doing?
Beckett: Dave, I’ve been a champion everywhere I’ve gone. Heck, I’ve been stripped of titles because I was never gonna lose them! Just ask the ECCW title committee!
Tripps: Weren’t you injure…
Beckett: But here, in RCW, I want to leave a truly indelible mark as the RCW champion. Here’s what I’m going to do: anyone that can convince me they deserve a title shot will GET a title shot, end of story. I will defend against all comers, and I will defeat all comers. I’ve already gone down in RCW history as the first world champion in its history, and now I want to go down in the books as the BEST world champion RCW has ever seen!
Tripps: So you say you’ll defend against anyone, huh? Anyone?
Beckett fails to notice the gleam in Dave’s eye, continuing on in his nice guided self-promoting spiel.
Beckett: That’s right, Dave. Anyone that earns a shot, or even just gets me in the mood to kick their ass – I’ll take them all on!”
Tripps: Really…..
With that, Dave Tripps goes flying over the desk and tackles Chance Beckett out of his chair to the canvas! He unloads on Beckett’s face with a series of right hands, which the champion, caught completely off-guard, is powerless to stop! Referee Mike Hunter storms the ring, and the bell rings to start the matchup!
RATING: 55
============================
RCW WORLD TITLE MATCH
Chance Becket vs. Dave Tripps
The matchup starts out with Tripps in complete control, still riding the advantage of his sneak attack across the Trippin’ set. However, Dave got a little too cute and picked Beckett up to taunt him before whipping him towards the ropes. Beckett reversed the Irish whip, then hit a stiff spinning elbow to the rebounding Tripps. Beckett lays the boots to Tripps’ prone body, still wearing his street shoes. Tripps tries to take Beckett down, but Beckett slams him back to the canvas and keeps laying into him. After a couple of minutes of sloppy but intense brawling between the two, with Beckett generally in control, Chance heads to the top rope. He lands a flying clothesline, then calls for the Chance Encounter. He goes to pick Tripps up, but Tripps slips behind Beckett and locks in a sleeper hold. Beckett expertly falls backwards, using the impact to slip out of the hold. Both men spring up, and Tripps goes for a clothesline, but Beckett ducks under it. Tripps whirls around, and walks straight into a Chance Encounter! Tripps is down and out as Beckett makes the academic cover, but still hooks the leg just in case. 1…..2……..3! Beckett retains his RCW World Title!
WINNER and STILL RCW WORLD CHAMPION: Chance Beckett
RATING: 50
CROWD: 33
MATCH: 68
============================
George Sand and Francoise Talk
After the World Title match carnage has been cleaned out of the ring, George Sand and Francoise come walking down the aisle to the ring. Francoise appears to be in much better (read: relaxed) shape than she was in last week as she slides beneath the ropes in the gap George opens up for her. George poses for the crowd, getting a polite pop, while Francoise heads to the corner and takes the microphone from Sound Guy.
Francoise: Ladies and gentlemen, you saw this man in action last month at RCW Kick Start, where he came within an inch of becoming the first RCW World Champion! Tonight, he will square off against Katsushi Takemura in the main event. Folks, please give a round of applause for GEORGE SAND!
Sand nods to the crowd, who oblige Francoise and give a round of applause for George Sand. She hands the microphone to him briefly, as he looks like he has something to say.
George: After last month, where I came up short, I learned my lesson. I need to give myself up completely to become a success here in RCW! If I want to rise to the top of Renaissance Championship Wrestling, I will push myself like I’ve never pushed myself before to be the absolute best that I can be!
Francoise snatches the microphone back toward her face, looking a little less relaxed than she did earlier
Francoise: Um….that’s right! George will go all-out to become the RCW world champion! Chance Beckett, you’ve said that anyone who deserves a title shot will get one from you! Well, Chance, after you watch my man George Sand go out and win tonight’s main event, there’s no way he won’t be next in line! So get ready Chance, because George Sand is coming for you!
RATING: 56
============================
Twiggy vs. Kid Fantastic
Our next match features Kid Fantastic taking on Twiggy. Kid Fantastic is out first, slapping hands as the masked man jogs down to the ring and gets ready for his bout. As he stretches out in the ring, looking ready, Twiggy comes stumbling out from behind the curtain, looking very distracted. He is in fact distracted, as he’s busy murmuring softly to a gym bag he’s dragging along with him. Suddenly, he screams, “OK!!!!!” at the top of his lungs at the gym bag, throws the Syracuse-branded bag to the ground outside the ring, and charges at Kid Fantastic. Twiggy’s sudden intensity catches the Kid off guard, and he spends the first minute of the match playing matador, trying to fend off Twiggy’s charges. Finally, Twiggy stops to breathe, and Kid Fantastic takes the offensive, springing to the top rope and drilling Twiggy with a missile dropkick. Fantastic follows up with a sprinting dropkick to the sitting Twiggy, snapping him back to the canvas. A pin only gets two, but Fantastic hops right back up, not losing any intensity.
Fantastic went running against the ropes again, but Twiggy bounced up and hit a running leg lariat, taking Kid Fantastic down. He hits a soccer-style kick to the Kid’s chest, then heads up to the top rope. He comes flying off, trying to take Fantastic down with a cross body block, but Kid Fantastic rolls through and covers Twiggy! 1……2……..no! Twiggy kicks out! Twiggy goes for a haymaker, but Kid Fantastic dodges it and hits a HUGE spinning wheel kick to the face of Twiggy! Kid Fantastic goes up, and nails the Putdown (450 Splash)! 1…….2……..3! Kid Fantastic has picked up his second win in as many shows! As he celebrates, Fred Laney comes storming down the aisle, looking INSANELY pissed off. He spies the gym bag Twiggy tossed away and grabs it, about to head back to the locker room. Instead, he stops, then slides into the ring, where Twiggy is just getting up from his loss. As he gets to his feet, shaking his head, Fred Laney charges forward and DRILLS him with a spear, nearly cutting Twiggy in half. Twiggy shows no immediate signs of getting up, and a seemingly placated Laney heads to the back, with a number of boos cascading over him.
WINNER: Kid Fantastic
RATING: 40
CROWD: 13
MATCH: 67
============================
Adam Flash vs. Simon Sanders
Simon Sanders is out first, looking insanely happy once again. He spies a small child in the front row, and hands him his towel, bringing a smile to the small child’s face. Sanders then pulls out a glossy picture and a Sharpie, signing the picture and giving it to the kid, who smiles nervously and accepts it. As Sanders starts to chat up the kid, whose mother is looking increasingly worried by all the attention, Adam Flash, the other opponent, comes flying out of the ring, taking Sanders to the ground. Flash gets up and shakes off the lingering aches before rolling him back into the ring. Sanders makes a few small rallies, trying to get into the match, but Flash manages to counter each of them. After a series of right hands, Sanders appears to be getting back into the match, and the crowd is starting to rally behind him. He charges at Flash, who ducks out of the way. Flash immediately runs up behind him, pushes him into the ropes, then goes flipping backwards into a rollup pin. As Mike Hunter drops into place to count the pin, Flash takes note of his positioning and grabs a fistful of Sanders’ tights, locking him even more tightly in place! Hunter doesn’t notice, and starts the count! 1…………2…………3! Adam Flash gets the win, but not without going outside the rules! As the referee raises his hand, Flash demands the microphone, clearly having something to say.
WINNER: Adam Flash
RATING: 46
CROWD: 32
MATCH: 60
============================
Adam Flash Speaks!
Flash: Well, well, well, this is a little more like it. I almost had the main event won at Kick Start, but with all those other clowns running around in that match, it was pure chaos! I know that if that match had been a one on one match, there isn’t ANYONE in all of Renaissance Championship Wrestling who would have stood a chance against me, Adam Flash. I know every trick in the book, and as soon as I get my shot at the title, I’ll be walking out of this dump as the RCW World Champion!
Earl didn’t look particularly happy at his pride and joy being called a dump, so a chorus of boos come out of his corner of the arena. Amazingly, the heat seems to spill over, as a few others pick up on the boos. A noteworthy piece of information, to be sure…
Flash: And that’s why I’m out here. I saw that clown George Sand and his woman out here jawing, saying that they were worthy of a title shot. How about you wait until you WIN your match before you run your mouths about how worthy you are? All I see is an 0-1 record, Sand! I just picked myself up a win, and as I see it, I deserve first shot at Beckett’s title – second if you count that joke of a reporter, which I don’t. So Beckett, I want a shot at you next month at RCW Code Red! You said you weren’t going to hide from anyone Beckett, so don’t go hiding from me! You’re on call, Beckett! On call! You’ll see that I’m not just some flash in the pan – I’m the real deal!
RATING: 52
============================
Problems For The Kid
Backstage, Kid Fantastic is changing, just finishing getting into his street clothes after his match. Still wearing his mask over his street clothes, he throws the rest of his costume into an LL Bean backpack with the initials KF on it – either he got his own backpack for this, he chose his own initials intentionally, or he’s a huge fan of coincidence. Speaking of coincidences, as he opens the door, he opens it right into the back of Kurt Lauderdale, who’s fiddling with his cell phone, looking for a phone number. Kid Fantastic murmurs “sorry” and goes to wander off, but a sharp rebuke from Lauderdale sends KF whirling around
Lauderdale: Hey kid, what the hell do you think you’re doing?
Fantastic: Um…nothing. I’m just on my way back home.
Lauderdale: What do you think you’re doing just slamming doors into me like that? How about a little respect, huh?
Fantastic: I…I said I was sorry, man. My bad, you know?
Lauderdale: No, I don’t know! Explain it to me!
Fantastic: Um….what?
Lauderdale: Shut the hell up and get out of my sight, you little bitch!
Fantastic: Fine….whatever…..
Kid Fantastic turns around and starts turning to the door, but before he can take more than two steps, Lauderdale comes slamming into Fantastic from behind, knocking him down. The much bigger Lauderdale grabs Fantastic by the back of his mask and yanks him up before throwing him face-first into the cement wall. Kid Fantastic crumples against the wall, his cheek resting on the cool wall. Lauderdale grabs him by the back of the head again and starts slamming him skull-first into the wall once, twice, three, four, five times! He yanks a completely defenseless Kid Fantastic to his feet, then twirls and throws him into a pile of equipment and boxes, which come raining down on him. Lauderdale starts forward again, but seeing the boxes cascading down on a buried Kid Fantastic seems to be enough for him. He walks off, happily muttering something in a deep voice as one last box falls off, capping off the pile on top of a disappeared and motionless (presumably) Kid Fantastic.
RATING: 50
============================
Katsushi Takemura vs. George Sand
George Sand, accompanied by a somewhat worried Francoise, is the first one out. Her voice can clearly be heard above the music playing in the background – I’m not sure whether it’s an indictment of our speakers or her voice, to be honest.
Francoise: Be careful, George! Don’t go TOO all-out!
George has a reply, but I can’t hear it from my position – I assume it’s the same thing I’m wondering, which is, how can you have different degrees of ‘going all-out’? As I wonder this, Katsushi Takemura comes walking down to the ring very, very plainly. The audience has no reaction to him whatsoever. We’ll need to do something about that at some point. The two men square each other up, then go into a tie up. Both men try to gain the advantage, but it ends in a draw. They try again, with the same result. They lock up a third time, but this time Takemura nails a knee to Sand’s stomach before flipping him over, getting a round of polite applause from the audience. Takemura drops down and tries to apply an armbar, but Sand wriggles away and locks Takemura into a facelock.
Takemura manages to battle out of the facelock with some right hands, and the two start trading chops with each other. After a particularly vicious-sounding chop from Takemura to Sand’s exposed chest, getting a huge ‘WHOOOO!’ from Earl, Takemura backs George into a corner and takes him up top. He hooks the arm and goes for a superplex, but Sand blocks it before sending Takemura to the ground. George comes flying off with a knee drop aimed at Takemura’s head, but Katsushi dodges and Sand’s right knee slams into the canvas with a vicious thud. Takemura wastes no time and goes for the pen, roughly pulling up on Sand’s knee as he does to increase the pain. 1………2…..Sand kicks out, but his knee is clearly injured!
Takemura doesn’t need an instruction manual at this point, immediately going to work on the leg. Sand cries out in pain, and Francoise tries not to flip out on the outside, as Takemura applies a basic leglock, putting as much torque on the knee as he can. After a minute, Sand manages to wrap his fingers around the ropes. As the ref calls for the break, a now-standing Takemura pulls Sand off the ropes by the injured leg, then extends the right knee back toward Sand’s head, a direction it was absolutely not supposed to go into. Takemura runs off the ropes and goes for a corkscrew elbow, but Sand manages to roll out of the way. He pulls himself up on the ropes and sees Takemura charging at him once again. Sand ducks down and back bodydrops Katsushi Takemura out of the ring, all the way to the floor below! As Francoise, just a couple feet away, looks a little concerned for Takemura’s health at this point, Sand climbs to the top rope, waiting for Takemura to get up. As Katsushi starts to stagger to his feet, Sand comes flying off the top, nailing a corkscrew plancha, sending both men to the ground!
After a few seconds, Sand is the first one up and rolls Takemura into the ring. He goes for the cover – 1……….2………….no, Takemura kicks out! Sand gets up, but Takemura lashes out with a sweep kick, sending Sand back to the canvas. Both men rest for a moment before getting up, reaching their feet at almost the same moment. They lock up once again, with Takemura getting the better of it, thanks to Sand’s bad wheel. He drills Sand with a hard right forearm, then gets him into position, looking to hit the brainbuster and end the match. He tries to lift Takemura, but Sand wraps his bad leg around Takemura’s, blocking the move! As Sand screams out in pain, Takemura tries three more times, but fails to get him up. As Takemura slumps ever so slightly after the third attempt, Sand shakes off the hold, elbows Takemura squarely in the face, and scoops Katsushi up. He gets him into position, and then plants him with the scoop piledriver (Juvi driver) that he calls the Sands of Time! Francoise, recognizing the move, screams on as Sand drags himself on top of Takemura and covers! 1…………..2…………….3! Francoise comes charging into the ring as George Sand staggers to his feet, with the referee raising his hand in victory as RCW No-Sell The Sabbath comes to a close!
WINNER: George Sand
RATING: 54
CROWD: 19
MATCH: 90(!!!)
OVERALL: 50
-
MAY 7, 2006
RCW HEADQUARTERS
I was up at the crack of noon today to get started on some more RCW paperwork. I have no idea how I dealt with the business world for so long. If I had to get up at 6 AM to catch a train into the city again, I’d be miserable. The college kid in me was definitely reappearing in full force with the new lifestyle I was leading. As if to confirm that notion, I stepped on a pile of dirty clothes getting out of bed that morning, lost my balance, and fell into a pile of beer cans and pizza boxes. Sophie said she wasn’t gonna come by until I cleared out the apartment. I reluctantly agreed and dragged four trash bags worth of material to the garbage chute, grumbling all the way.
With the garbage out of the way, Sophie agreed to drop by with the figures she had run on the last show. I noticed the look of relief on her face when she took three steps into the room and hadn’t stepped on a rat. However, she definitely disapproved of the three-day stubble beard I was wearing, which didn’t particularly match the suit I was wearing (the only clean outfit I had). She was in a hurry, so she just dropped off a thick folder full of files and headed out the door, leaving me to do all the brain work. Figures.
After three hours of procrastinating in front of the TV watching a particularly compelling episode or six of Hogan’s Heroes, I finally flipped open the folder and began to skim through the materials. RCW had turned a profit last month, but just barely, and only because we had sold off some excess ring equipment and the like Earl had found lying in the storeroom and given to us. We had used 16 guys on that first show, which was just too many for us to afford at that point. I quickly shelved the plans for a 50-man battle royal and started trimming down the plans for next month’s show. I wanted to keep all the guys under contract, but I figure we didn’t need to have all our guys on the show every month.
Another problem: Our public image was down a bit, dropping 3% for the month to 72%. I thought our advertising budget had been high enough, but clearly we were coming up a little bit short. I upped the ad budget a bit, and reluctantly crossed out the elephant parade we had penciled in for the pre-show entertainment. Another victim of budget cuts. I felt the show could have been a bit better, but I wasn’t too concerned with things overall. I didn’t plan on putting on a spectacular show right off the bat. The first few months would start to establish characters and get the crowd used to them, and once we had a foothold, we’d start to make our move. I definitely had some plans to speed that process along, but it’s never easy to be the new guy on the block.
I dragged my laptop over and opened my e-mail account, where I had stored my dossiers on our talent. Thank god for GMail. I had a few notes in my inbox, so I ran through those real quick. We weren’t the smallest promotion anymore, with three groups falling below us – yay. Sam Artino was celebrating his birthday this month. I made a note to bring a cake backstage to our next show, which was going to be on May 28th. I had entitled it No-Sell The Sabbath – I was a little too proud of it, I’m not gonna lie. I ran through the rest really quickly – Jericho to TNA, Raven to WWE, could your penis be bigger (probably, I thought), WXW’s show cancelled, African millionaire wanting to give me cash – nothing worth my time. As I was about to close out the program, an e-mail popped up in my inbox – from Jack, my son. He hadn’t made it to Kick Start, so I had sent him a videotape of the show to see what he thought. I excitedly opened the e-mail and started reading:
Hey Dad-
Doing OK. Lots of work at school, but no more fights, so things are going better. Mr. Jibal said I’d be recommended for AP Calculus if I kept up what I was doing. Got a B+ on my history paper, so that grade’s going up.
Mom’s fine. Haven’t seen her much lately – she’s out at stores for redecorating and stuff. She’s going out to parties too. She doesn’t seem much happier though – dunno if that makes you feel better.
Sorry I couldn’t make it to your show. Mom didn’t want me there, since I had a lot of work to do. She thought it sounded stupid too. I watched the video – it had its moments. Definitely rough around the edges, though. It showed that it was the first show. It’s better stuff than the WWE has done recently, though. I like Twiggy and George Sand. Give them a push. Kid Fantastic’s a stupid name, but the guy seems like a good wrestler. I’ll try and make it to one of your shows soon. I can’t make it this month – finals start at the end of May, so I’m gonna be busy then. I don’t think I’ll be around in June either, since me and Mandy were thinking of going on a vacation around then. I’ll let you know.
Love you Dad. Good luck.
Jack
I was glad he liked the show – and for the record, I don’t think Kid Fantastic is a bad name at all. He was right about Sand and Twiggy, though – I was a fan of both. With some renewed vigor, I opened up my spreadsheet and started typing away, getting things ready for No-Sell The Sabbath.
==============================
OFFICAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW NO-SELL THE SABBATH!
“TRIPPIN’” HOSTS THE NEW CHAMP!
Dave Tripps, the host of “Trippin’ With Dave Tripps!” will be the first man to get a word with the man who walked out of Kick Start with the RCW World Title, Chance Beckett! What will Beckett have to say after adding another piece of hardware to his collection?
GEORGE SAND vs. KATSUSHI TAKEMURA
These two men were in the match where Beckett took home the RCW World Title, with Takemura being pinned by Beckett. These two will square off in tonight’s main event, with the winner having an excellent case for another shot at Beckett’s title! Which of these technical marvels will walk out with the W?
ADAM FLASH vs. SIMON SANDERS
Flash was the fourth member of that four-way bout for the RCW Title, and he’s surely not happy about his failure to walk out champion! How will he rebound against Simon Sanders?
ALSO!
Many other of your favorite RCW superstars will be in action! Kid Fantastic, Twiggy, Fred Laney, and many more will be present on Sunday at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, New York! Be there!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY
RCW NO-SELL THE SABBATH!
-
With RCW’s inaugural event just 10 minutes away, my brow was drenched in a nervous sweat I hadn’t felt since the day I popped the question to Ellen. Earl’s bingo hall was all decked out for the occasion, with banners straight from the printers draped everywhere. Fans were pressed up against the guardrail, but one seat at the end of the aisle was open, with a card marked “RESERVED” on it. I had sent a ticket to Jack, hoping he’d come and see his old man’s wrestling promotion get off the ground. I didn’t know where he was that night; all I knew was that he wasn’t here with me. Ellen probably heard about it and didn’t let him come. I only got one day every other week with him, and Ellen didn’t like the idea of him spending that one night watching me work. She didn’t see the difference between what I did at Fidelity and what I was doing with Renaissance Championship Wrestling. Hopefully Jack would see the difference, even if he couldn’t be here tonight. I had Sound Guy recording the show, so I’d at least send Jack a tape. Our writer, doubling as a staffer, said we had 204 paid tickets, plus Earl and three of his “family” with him. I’m sorry, but unless Mrs. Polero slept around, Earl didn’t have a redheaded brother, or a black one. Still, a little abuse of the free ticket policy was fine by me in exchange for free use of the hall. My watch ticked to 8:00:00, and then past it. It was time to go.
--------------------------------
RCW KICK START
April 23, 2006
Earl Polero Bingo Hal - Brooklyn, NY
Introduction: RCW Is A Go!
As the lights go down to signal the start of the show, Joe Wheeler leaves the broadcast table and steps up into the ring. Joe’s the play by play man for RCW. I hired him after hearing him call numbers at the DMV downtown. No one ever called out “Serving number 4-7-9” more beautifully than he did. Of course, I was #479, and after 45 minutes at the DMV, Roseanne Barr’s voice would have sounded lovely. As I tried to get the image of Roseanne out of my head, Joe raises his microphone and officially kicks off Renaissance Championship Wrestling.
Joe: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Renaissance Championship WRESTLING!
The crowd gives a good-natured pop, glad to see the action finally getting underway.
Joe: Tonight, here at RCW Kick Start, we will crown the very first Renaissance Championship Wrestling champion! Four of the bravest, most feared competitors in all of professional wrestling enter the squared circle to vie for the honor of being the first RCW World Champion! Adam Flash, Katsushi Tamekura, George Sand, and Chance Beckett will walk down the aisle with title aspirations, but only ONE will leave the Earl Polero Arena with the big gold bet wrapped around their waist! Who will it be? Tonight’s main event is sure to set the tone for Renaissance Championship Wrestling for years to come!
I notice Earl smiling after hearing his dump referred to as an ‘arena’. Whatever gets him through the night.
Joe: However, RCW Kick Start promises so much more than a spectacular main event! We have some incredible undercard action for you tonight! We will see rookie Nick Collyer take on a throwback in every sense of the word, Sam Artino! We also have a triple threat match between Kurt Lauderdale, Twiggy, and 2 Dope! These are just some of the fabulous stars that RCW is proud to present to you as RCW Kick Start shatters your belief at what makes for truly spectacular wrestling!
A small round of applause follows up. Hopefully the fans are saving that energy for later in the night.
Joe: Now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our first match of the night between Simon Sanders and John Wellington. And remember, years from now, when millions of people claim to have been here in this cozy arena, you are the people who can truly say, “I was there when the renaissance of professional wrestling began!”
A nice touch by Joe there at the end. I knew was onto something at that DMV.
RATING: 52
--------------------------------
Simon Sanders vs. John Wellington
These two are a study in opposites as RCW’s first ever match gets going. Wellington wears a somewhat sullen expression on his face as he walks down to the ring, ignoring the few outstretched hands over the barrier. Wellington was annoyed when I even contacted him about a job, but when numerous ‘other commitments’ mysteriously failed to come through for him, he signed on the dotted line. Meanwhile, I can honestly say nobody was more happy to sign on with us than Simon Sanders was, and it showed. His smile was bigger than Steven Tyler’s, and he shakes every outstretched hand, as well as a few that weren’t. In the ring, Sanders doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. He hits Wellington with a huge springboard moonsault off the second rope, taking Wellington down hard to the mat for a 2 count. Sanders went for a second springboard moonsault as Wellington got up, but Wellington managed to dodge that one, leaving Sanders to land flat on his face. A dazed Sanders stumbles up straight into Wellington’s arms, who hits him with a move he calls the E. Coli Driver – I think we might need to work on that name. 1…2….3, and the match is over, with John Wellington picking up the first-ever W in RCW history.
WINNER: John Wellington
OVERALL: 44
MATCH: 59
CROWD: 30
--------------------------------
The Debut Of "Trippin' With Dave Tripps"
As Wellington and Sanders head to the back, Sound Guy drags a table into the ring, planting a couple of chairs around it. With the spectacular set work done, a generic sounding theme song hits, bringing out Dave Tripps. Tripps has a banner rolled up under his arm and a clipboard in his hand, looking pleased to be in front of the crowd. He steps into the ring and clips the banner to the front of the table, revealing the words “TRIPPIN’ WITH DAVE TRIPPS”. He checks to make sure the edges are aligned correctly, then grabs his microphone and turns to the crowd.
Tripps: Hello, RCW fans, and welcome to the first installment of what is sure to be the highlight of each and every RCW event! That’s right, I’m talking about the fastest growing talk sensation in professional wrestling today! My name is Dave Tripps, and I’ve worked in the news industry for 15 years with such media moguls as TimeWarner, Newsweek, and MSNBC! However, I return tonight to my original love, professional wrestling, to provide each and every RCW fan with the scoop on the biggest stories in Renaissance Championship Wrestling each and every week on…Trippin’ With Dave Tripps!
The crowd is basically silent, having no real idea what to expect so far. Dave, bless his heart, doesn’t miss a beat:
Tripps: Tonight on the Trip, we have an RCW superstar who has been long removed from competing at the highest levels of sports. After a storied career as an athlete at the high school and college levels, he took years off from competing, choosing to live a family life. However, tonight marks his return to competition. Ladies and gentlemen, would each and every one of you please give a round of applause for Mr. Fred Laney! Fred, come on down!
A heavy rock theme kicks in, and Fred Laney comes walking down the ramp. He has the remnants of a muscular physique, but the muscles have lost their definition, growing somewhat soft and flabby. He deftly slides under the bottom rope and springs up, seizing Tripps’ hand in one smooth motion. He sits down at the other chair, which strains a little under his mass. Tripps takes a seat alongside him, shuffles through his cards, then looks up with the most plastic smile I’ve ever seen.
Tripps: Mr. Laney, thanks for joining us on Trippin’. Now, first questions first: How do you respond to allegations that you have engaged in widespread steroid usage?
Laney looks stunned for a second before Tripps burst out in laughter.
Tripps: Just kidding, just kidding. You know, topical humor and all. Anyways, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Laney: Well Dave, I was an all-state athlete in three different sports at the high school level, and I took a lacrosse scholarship to Syracuse University. Since I graduated from college six years ago, I’ve been looking to get back into the athletic game. Professional wrestling was something I had been watching all my life, and I finally decided to pull the trigger and join up with a federation. I guess RCW are the lucky folks who got to sign me and watch me reach new athletic peaks.
Tripps: So you think it’ll be easy to climb to the top of RCW?
Laney: Not necessarily easy, but athletic glory has come easily to me my entire life. I wasn’t the hardest worker on my teams – far from it, in fact. But my natural talent was so abundant that I could overcome obstacles that held back most athletes from reaching the peaks of athletic glory. RCW won’t be any different.
Tripps: What about competing against people who have wrestled professionally for years, or even decades? Do you really think you can defeat each and every one of them?
Laney: I’m not worried, Dave. They don’t stand a chance against me. That simple.
Tripps: Well – you heard it here, folks. Fred Laney is ready to run wild over RCW. Fred, thanks for being on Trippin’ with me, Dave Tripps.
Laney: No problem, Dave.
Tripps:That’s all for this show, folks! Make sure to watch next time, where we bring you an EXCLUSIVE interview with the new RCW World Champion! But until then, I’m Dave Tripps. What a long, strange trip it’s been.
RATING: 50
--------------------------------
Kid Fantastic vs. Sweatsuit Steve
Kid Fantastic, wearing a full mask, comes strutting down to the ring with a confident stride. However, the masked man can’t compare in style to Sweatsuit Steve, who comes down wearing an awe-inspiring green and gold sweatsuit with the words “SWEATSUIT STEVE” embroidered on the back. Announcer Joe Wheeler somehow ignores the sweatsuit’s glory, instead talking about Kid Fantastic, who wrestles as a way to put himself through college. I suppose it beats stripping, so good for him. Fantastic definitely has a knack for wrestling, however. The match is dominated by Fantastic’s offense from the get-go, which is surprisingly physical for a man of his size. A flurry of punches sends Steve to the outside, where he re-arranges his outfit before sliding back in. Upon returning, a hard spinning wheel kick takes him to the canvas. Fantastic heads to the top and nails the Putdown, a massive 450 splash, to get the 3 count and the win!
WINNER: Kid Fantastic
OVERALL: 39
MATCH: 66
CROWD: 12
--------------------------------
2 Dope vs. Twiggy vs. Kurt Lauderdale
Lauderdale and 2 Dope are clearly two of the stronger competitors on the roster. Both are heavy brawlers who do their best work with their fists. They don’t even wait for the third man to get the ring, immediately starting to brawl with each other. As they go at it, Twiggy pops out from behind the curtain and begins to walk to the ring. However, as Twiggy makes his way towards the ring, he talks in a very, very animated fashion to a wrestling boot in his right hand. As he makes it towards the ring, an angry-looking Fred Laney comes running out from the back and snatches the boot back from Twiggy before LEVELING him with a clothesline and rolling him into the ring. 2 Dope and Lauderdale ignore him, choosing instead to continue fighting each other. 2 Dope finally takes the advantage, hitting a spinebuster on Lauderdale, which sends Kurt rolling to the outside. As 2 Dope turns around, Twiggy comes off the top rope with a flying body press. However, 2 Dope catches him and tosses him up into a gorilla press. Lauderdale is up on the outside, and looks up to see Twiggy being thrown at him over the ropes. The two men tumble to the ground, with 2 Dope in control. Both men get up and crawl back into the ring, looking to get back into the match. Lauderdale clotheslines 2 Dope and goes for a piledriver, but Twiggy comes flying in with an enziguri to the back of the head. As Lauderdale goes down, Twiggy dances around in delight, failing to take notice of 2 Dope. He walks right into the waiting brawler, who plants Twiggy with a stiff powerbomb for the 1, 2, 3 and the win.
WINNER: 2 Dope
OVERALL: 43
MATCH: 68
CROWD: 19
--------------------------------
Chance Beckett Speaks!
The lights dim in the ring, and a spotlight comes up by the entrance tunnel, where Chance Beckett is standing with a microphone. He waits for the crowd to swivel their necks around, gives a little grin when all the attention is finally focused on him, then begins his spiel.
Beckett: For those of you unlucky enough not to know me, my name is Chance Beckett, and I’ve done more in my career than the rest of the slobs in this locker room put together! I made it to the finals of the Super 8 tournament, where I lost to a guy you might have heard of – a certain Paul London! I’ve been ECCW World Champion, a title which I never lost! I was two-time ECCW Tag Team Champion! I’ve wrestled the American Dragon, I’ve been in Ring of Honor, and I was trained in the Hart Dungeon! Not that the former lacrosse player, the journalist, and…whatever the hell that Twiggy guy is…aren’t formidable opponents, but no one, and I mean NOBODY, can touch me in this ring!
The crowd, who were strangely respectful while Beckett listed off his accomplishments, are starting to boo him, catching on that Beckett’s a little bit cocky. Smart crowd, brilliant crowd!
Beckett: Now it’s time for Chance Beckett to add another title to his resume! I might be in a match with three other men, but I’m not competing against them – THEY compete against ME. None of them can boast the wealth of experience and success that I’ve had in my ten-year career, not a single one. And once I become the first-ever RCW World Champion, an honor that nobody can take away from me, I’ll show all the amateurs in this federation exactly what being a champion is all about. ‘Mr. Showtime’ Chance Beckett steps down from no one. And when Flash, Takemura, and Sand leave the ring tonight, they will know they just had a close encounter of the Chance kind!
RATING: 55
--------------------------------
Sam Artino vs. Nick Collyer
When I heard Sam Artino’s music hit, I tossed the clipboard I was flipping through off to the side and stepped up by the curtain to watch the match. Sam had even cut his hair to look like Bruno’s, and had done a surprisingly good job at it. Nick Collyer followed him out, looking fairly nervous. It was his first pro wrestling match since graduating from training, and I’m sure he was nervous. The match was very good though, as Collyer took the leash off. He hit a great springboard plancha onto Sam, who kept shaking off whatever Collyer threw at him. Collyer came running at Sam, looking for a Lou Thesz press, but Sam caught Collyer and clapped him in a vise-like bearhug. After squeezing the breath out of Collyer, Arinto pick him up and delivered a Canadian backbreaker. 1, 2, 3, and Sam Artino gets the win.
WINNER: Sam Artino
OVERALL: 44
MATCH: 74
CROWD: 15
--------------------------------
George Sand and Francoise Backstage
We cut backstage (meaning that we have Sound Guy run back there with our one camera), where we see George Sand lacing up his boots, getting ready for the upcoming main event. He pulls the laces taut and finishes tying them up. As he breathes deeply, trying to relax, the door behind him slams open and Francoise, his rather scantily-clad girlfriend, comes barging into the room, looking perturbed.
Francoise: George, are you sure about this? It’s not too late to stop – I can just run and tell the guy over there, and we can get out of he…
George: Yes, Francoise, for the last time, I am SURE. I’m going out there, and I’m gonna wrestle, and I’m gonna WIN.
Francoise: George, there are THREE people you’re fighting tonight! Three!
George: I know, Frannie. But c’mon, I’ve had matches like this before – you’ve seen me in four-way matches before!
Francoise: That was DIFFERENT, George! Those were in stupid little promotions, places that backyard leagues would be ashamed to be associated with. But this is real, George! You heard how much Chance Beckett has done! And the other two guys have been around a long time too, and they’ve had some success, and….George, I’m really worried for you!
George: I know you are, sweetie. But don’t worry about it, OK? I can win this match.
Francoise: George, I want you to leave! You know how I feel about this whole wrestling thing, and now fighting three guys at once, and I just want you to leave!
George: I’m not leaving. It’s time for the match. I’m going out, and you’re gonna come with me, and you and I are gonna celebrate when I leave that room healthy and holding the RCW World Title, OK?
Francoise: …OK, fine. Just BE CAREFUL!
George: C’mon, let’s get going. It’s time.
RATING: 48
--------------------------------
RCW WORLD TITLE MATCH
Adam Flash vs. George Sand vs. Katsushi Tamekura vs. Chance Beckett
George is the first one out to the ring, where he and Francoise pose for the crowd. Katsushi Takemura is next out, and simple walks down to the ring. He stands upright in the turnbuckle, waiting for the other two to get going. This guy has less charisma than the boot Twiggy was talking to. Chance Beckett is next out, looking supremely confident as Francoise stares him down, looking somewhat apprehensive. Chance blows her a kiss, sending Francoise recoiling. George glares at Chance as Adam Flash, the final competitor, makes his way towards the ring. With all four men in the ring, the bell chimes and the first-ever RCW World Title match is underway!
George Sand immediately rushes Beckett, taking him down and to the outside with a tackle. As Sand lays into Beckett with a series of punches, Flash and Takemura start flailing away at each other. Takemura gains the upper hand and quickly locks Flash into an armbar, grounding Flash. Flash eventually fights out and manages to plant Takemura with a hard lariat. Sand, finished beating on Beckett, rolls into the ring and takes down Flash with a forearm to the back. Flash and Sand brawl with each other while Beckett slides into the ring and rolls Takemura up, looking for a quick three count! 1…..2……Sand comes flying in to break up the pinfall attempt! Takemura rolls to the apron as Sand eats a hard dropkick by Flash. Beckett and Flash start going at it as Takemura and Sand regroup away from the action.
Beckett scoop slams Flash, then heads to the top rope. He comes off with a top rope knee drop, but Flash rolls out of the way, leaving Beckett to slam his knee into the canvas. Flash immediately locks on a figure four, but a revived Katsushi comes launching into the picture, connecting with a superkick to Flash’s prone jaw. Flash falls limply to the group, and Takemura covers for the pinning attempt. 1…….2….but the pin is broken up by Sand and Beckett, who both come flying in to break up the pinfall attempt and keep the match going. Beckett and Sand look at each other, still clearly upset from the beginning of the match, but they put their differences aside, grabbing Takemura off the mat. The two irish whip him into the ropes, then plant him with a double flapjack. Sand picks him up and holds him in an abdominal stretch for Beckett, who hits a running kick to the midsection, taking Takemura down. Sand goes to grab him again, but Beckett runs in and hits a running neckbreaker, then goes for the quick cover! 1………2………..Sand kicks out at the last second!
Flash is back up, and grabs Beckett from behind and hits a quick bridging German suplex, trying to steal the win! 1…….2…….Beckett kicks out! Flash slams his hand against the mat, then heads to the top, looking to hit his patented flying leg drop. As he balances himself on the top rope, George Sand comes flying in and crotches him on the rope. Flash lets out a moan, then falls off the turnbuckle to the outside. Sand turns right into Takemura, who grabs Sand, lifts him up, and plants him with a STIFF brainbuster! Francoise grabs Sand’s leg and pulls him to the ring apron, screaming at him to see if he’s OK. Takemura goes to follow up, but Beckett is ready and waiting. Takemura goes to give him a brainbuster as well, but Beckett slips out of the move behind Takemura! Takemura walks straight into Beckett, who lifts Takemura up…….CHANCE ENCOUNTER! He covers for the pin! 1………2…………3! Chance Beckett is the new RCW World Champion!
WINNER and NEW RCW WORLD CHAMPION: Chance Beckett
OVERALL: 55
MATCH: 78
CROWD: 33
OVERALL: 48
-
APRIL 9, 2006
MY “OFFICE”
My office was not quite the splendid mahogany-laden corner office with a view of Central Park which I had occupied at Fidelity. Instead, my office was now far more versatile – it also acted as a living room, bedroom, kitchen, and greeting area. After moving out, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do, so I decided to slum it for a few months. I moved into a studio apartment uptown, which was actually quite spacious as far as studios go. It was a little cramped, but I threw most of my stuff in a storage facility and took what I needed for the apartment. I liked it, and I felt free there. It reminded me of college, where I had considered having my own room (for the first time) to be the greatest feeling of my entire life. But now, Renaissance Championship Wrestling had its headquarters (in Manhattan, no less – very ritzy). Now, it was time to move on and get some work going.
The first thing I did was make sure RCW would have sponsors. Sure, I had about $9,000,000 in the bank, but I don’t want to be tapping into that if at all possible. I want to have RCW as a self-sustaining promotion. Using a few different contacts I had from within the industry, I quickly signed up four sponsors. When I was done, I had the following contracts in hand:
SPONSORS:
Wendy’s: 9 months @ $150,000 per month
Rolling Rock: 10 months @ $140,000 per month
RF Video: 6 months @ $124,000 per month
PWI: 11 months @ $130,000 per month
This gave me $544,000 per month coming in for sponsorship, plus whatever chicken scratch we made for our events. I would have to be careful to keep our budget fairly low.
Next, I went after a few staff members. I hired a pair of writers for RCW named Jack Sabbath and Peter Lothario. Jack had been a wrestling fan for a while, and seemed like he’d be a perfectly competent member of our writing team. He said that if he signed, Peter came with him. No real problems there, I suppose. I also hired a medic, the seemingly patriotic Helen Canada, to take care of my currently nonexistent roster. Nothing says good health like a 60 year old Canadian medic, right? Mike Hunter, a referee, was another addition to the RCW fold. The most bizarre signing, however, was for our production department. We only got one applicant, so he won the job by default. However, he’s got me a little worried. He signed his resume as simply ‘The Sound Guy’, and always always asked be addressed as Sound Guy, Guy, or SG. Very bizarre behavior, but his references were spotless. The man knows sound, apparently. To cap things off, I brought my secretary from Fidelity into the fold. Sophie knows absolutely nothing whatsoever about wrestling, but she understands how to deal with me, which is just fine by me. Plus, now I don’t have to organize my own stuff. I did have to buy a second chair for the apartment, but Sophie’s worth it.
STAFF MEMBERS:
Secretary: Sophie
Referee: Mike Hunter
Production: The Sound Guy
Medic: Helen Canada
Writer: Peter Lothario
Writer: Jack Sabbath
Announcer: Joe Wheeler
Next up was finding a building to hold the events. I drove over to Brooklyn, where I knew of a few halls that might be willing to rent time to RCW. However, I caught a break on that one. The second building I checked out was run by an old friend of mine from high school, Earl Polero. In exchange for free tickets to the show each month and a mention in the program, Earl agreed to let us use the hallowed Earl Polero Bingo Hall for free each month. The neighborhood we were in was mainly residential, and was a pretty nice place overall. I figured we could get some pretty decent walkthrough traffic there.
ARENA:
Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, New York
I took care of a few things later that day. I ordered up a program for the first event, which was slated for Saturday, November 19th. Sal and I put our heads together, then came up with the name Kick Start. It got the point across, and it wasn’t Genesis, so I figured we had a leg up on most startup feds. I also ordered the RCW Heavyweight Title, which ended up with a pretty sweet design. With all the details taken care of, we only had one thing left to do: Sign the talent and book ourselves a show.
APRIL 16, 2006
RCW HEADQUARTERS
After my Kraft Easy Mac finished cooking, I sat down with my plastic container to look over the roster one more time. It was damn impressive work for a week. To her credit, Sophie had learned quickly, doing everything she could to reach out feelers to independent workers. Sal, Mike, and even Sound Guy were lending a hand to, getting in touch with people from their previous promotions. Finally, after a week of intense negotiating, RCW had its initial roster in place. Read ‘em and weep, folks.
===============================================
Renaissance Championship Wrestling
Fed Size: Small
Public Image: 75%
Finances: $9,000,000
Risk: 70%
Production Values: 35%
Advertising: 10%
Merchandising: 3%
RCW ROSTER:
Sam Artino (Face, Old School Face, 10 Over) – When I was a kid, my hero in the ring was Bruno Sammartino. Sam Artino is my homage to the man who made me fall in love with professional wrestling.
Nick Collyer (Face, Clean Cut, 18 Over) – Collyer is a fresh-faced newcomer to the wrestling business. He’s looking forward to going out and having fun with wrestling, despite not knowing the ins and outs of the business yet.
George Sand (Face, Blue Chipper, 23 Over) – George is young, and seems to have the total package. He’s ready to fulfill his lifelong dream and pursue a career in wrestling. There’s only one thing that’s been stopping him…
Francoise (Face, Dancer, 10 Over) - …and that’s his girlfriend, Francoise. She HATES wrestling with all her heart, and wants her boyfriend to have nothing to do with it. On top of that, she worries about George hurting himself. However, after he decided to join up, Francoise chose to become his manager to keep an eye on him.
Simon Sanders (Face, Fun Babyface, 13 Over) – Simon is really, really happy to have a job. As it is, he’s probably a little too happy to be working this low on the totem pole. Still, he’s really delighted to be in RCW, and can’t wait to get out there and have the time of his life.
Kid Fantastic (Face, Underdog, 20 Over) – Kid Fantastic is not this guy’s real name, I assure you. He’s asked to keep his real name concealed, as he’s working his way through school by wrestling. In the ring, he’s a brawler who doesn’t mind going up top. He’s definitely on the small side for a brawler, though, so he’ll have a hell of a time going toe to toe with a lot of our guys.
Twiggy (Face, Weirdo, 5 Over) – Twiggy is….well, he’s Twiggy. He’s a bizarre, bizarre man. He enjoys carrying on conversations with just about anything, animate or inanimate. Except for pens, which he seems to have a major problem with for some reason. Fortunately, he’s a decent worker, so he’s got some use for us.
Sweatsuit Steve (Face, Comedy Character, 12 Over) – Sweatsuit Steve has never won a match. EVER. But he does have one thing going for him – an insanely sweet collection of sweatsuits. He seems to have a new one every week. Too bad he doesn’t have any talent to go along with it.
Adam Flash (Heel, Old School Heel, 33 Over) – Flash has been around as a wrestler for 15 years now, and he’s learned a trick or two. He’s basically decided that the rules should be loosely interpreted, and has no qualms about doing whatever it takes to win.
Dave Tripps (Tweener, Journalist, 8 Over) – Dave Tripps has worked in the media business for most of his career. He had been a fan of wrestling for some time, though, and jumped at the chance to become part of RCW. His goal is to combine his two loves by working as RCW’s official journalist, interviewing the members of the fed, and winning a match or two.
John Wellington (Heel, Obnoxious, 27 Over) – Wellington has bounced around for a while, looking the whole time to make his way to the big leagues. WWE, TNA, ROH, somewhere where his talents can fully be appreciated. For now, he’ll have to do with thrilling the fans of RCW with his impressive in-ring skills.
Fred Laney (Heel, Egomaniac, 18 Over) – Laney was a former high school football player who won just about every award he could. For the last few years, he hasn’t been athletically involved in anything. However, he’s decided that wrestling will allow him another shot at athletic glory.
Chance Beckett (Heel, Cocky, 35 Over) – Beckett has probably had the most success in the wrestling business of anyone on our roster, and he’s not afraid to let people know about it. His talents are impressive, no doubt.
Kurt Lauderdale (Heel, Bully, 18 Over) – Kurt’s a good wrestler, with his strengths lying in brawling, but he’s got a real attitude problem. He likes to push people around, looking to gain some sort of advantage from it. Not the kind of guy you’d want next to you in the RCW catering line (which isn’t so much a catering line as it is the McDonald’s drive thru line).
Katsushi Takemura (Face, No Gimmick Needed, 26 Over) – There’s no doubt that Katsushi can go in the ring. He’s an incredibly all-around talent…except on the microphone. He’ll need to do something to distinguish himself at some point.
2 Dope (Heel, Street Fighter, 18 Over) – 2 Dope is one of those guys who might stick it to Kid Fantastic. He grew up about nine blocks from our esteemed home at the Earl Polero Bingo Hall in a slightly rougher part of Brooklyn. Despite getting into constant fights, he ended up making it to adulthood, and now he’s all the more dangerous for it. Look out for his surprising quickness to back up his potent punches.
===============================================
Just one week until our first show goes live in Brooklyn. Renaissance Championship Wrestling is a go…and I’m a nervous wreck. Time to take the two-foot journey to my bed and hit the hay for the night. Just one more week until my wrestling promotion…MY wrestling promotion…is truly in existence. It’s still surreal.
-
1
-
-
My name is Bruce Hawkins. I run Renaissance Championship Wrestling.
Damn, that STILL doesn’t sound right to me. I spent fifteen minutes this morning standing in front of the mirror telling myself that I run my own wrestling federation, and it still sounds like Greek coming off my tongue. When I looked into the mirror, I didn’t see the next Vince McMahon staring back at me. Heck, I didn’t see the next Rob Black staring back at me. I saw a 43 year old man with a gut, a receding hairline, a rumpled and stained dress shirt, and defeat in his eyes. I saw a guy who, in the span of six weeks, had lost his job, his family, his house, and his will to go forward.
It was a long road to how I got here. It wasn’t always so bad. Usually, it was pretty damn good. But things can only stay good for so long.
======================================================
When I was a kid, I was poor. Not trailer park poor or anything, but we weren’t gonna be hitting up the Gilded Truffle or the Ritz anytime soon. Western Massachusetts wasn’t overflowing with millionaires, but it was still clear to me that my parents didn’t have the same things my friends did at their houses. Our black and white TV sufficed, we dined on fried baloney a couple times a week, and our only car spent more time opened up for Dad’s self-taught surgery than out on the roads. It didn’t matter, though. My parents were happy to have each other, and to have their kids. I was one of three children in the family. I had a sister named Lucy who was three years older than me, and a brother eighteen months younger than me named Matthew. Matt and I weren’t quite Irish twins, but we were close enough to make us de facto best friends. We looked out for each other in the neighborhood, and you could usually find the two of us together.
My brother and I were definitely cut from my father’s cloth. He introduced us to almost everything we found important to us. He was our troop leader during Cub Scouts, and graduated to Boy Scouts with us. He signed us up for Little League, forcing us to learn how to catch a ground ball. Six bloody noses later, he smiled on proudly as my brother and I led the Mariners to our league title. He even got us into community theater, which Matt and I ended up enjoying a hell of a lot more than we ever though we would. I’m a Red Sox fan because of him, a Republican because of him, and a Christian in name only because of him. But of all the things my father passed on to me, the one I look upon most fondly was his love for professional wrestling.
I remember him driving me, at the age of 7, to the Boston Garden to see a WWWF show. I don’t remember a ton from the show, but I remember The Shiek beating Bruno Sammartino, the champ at that point, by countout. I was sad that Bruno hadn’t won the match, but I loved him anyways. Sammartino quickly became my favorite from the WWWF, and I tried to find out everything about him. Two years later, my father promised me a trip to New York City, complete with a stop in Madison Square Garden to catch the WWWF event there. On January 18, 1971, my father and I were in attendance as Ivan Koloff defeated Bruno Sammartino to become the WWWF champion. I was devastated. As a Sox fan, I had always had a healthy distaste for the city a couple hundred miles down the road. After the trauma of seeing Sammartino lose the belt, New York had been officially vilified in my eyes.
Despite Bruno losing the belt, I still loved wrestling. I watched it all throughout grade school and high school when I could make it to events. During my senior year of college, the first Wrestlemania occurred, once again in New York City. I watched it at a movie theater that had a feed, and got my first look at the new WWF champion, Hulk Hogan. It was hard not to be impressed by him. My friends and I had the time of our lives watching that PPV, and even though David Sammartino, carrying on his father’s legacy, couldn’t win, I was still happy. The WWF definitely was on the way up, and I was going to enjoy the entertainment.
However, wrestling had competition in my life. Upon graduating from Northwestern with my degree in economics (which I probably had no right to have after the amount of studying I did), I moved to New York City. I had a menial job at a brokerage house, basically doing the grunt work that nobody else was stupid enough to agree to do. Despite this, I was pumped. I was just 40 blocks away from the home of the WWF. And while I found myself going to more shows, I found myself spending more and more time over in Queens at the apartment of a girl who worked in the post office down the block from me. After coming in for stamps three times in a day, she called me on it, and it went from there. Two years later, Ellen and I were married. Ellen was hard-nosed, tenacious, incredibly intelligent, and very popular. Basically, she was everything I wasn’t. And, needless to say, she didn’t like professional wrestling. She couldn’t see the beauty in Savage/Steamboat during Wrestlemania III, yawned when Hogan slamed Andre, and didn’t understand what a big deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan at Wrestlemania VI. Fortunately, by Wrestlemania VI, I had someone new to watch wrestling with.
In 1988, my son Jack was born. I was delighted. My father, who had passed suddenly during my time at Northwestern, had been the single greatest influence on my life. I admired him more than anyone in the world, and I wanted to have the same relationship with my son. It was incredibly thrilling to hold him in my arms, at the tender age of four months, and watch Wrestlemania V with my son. He stopped crying when Rick Rude won the Intercontinental Title, so I assumed Rude was his favorite. From that day on, a picture of Rick Rude sat among his stuffed animals and plastic gizmos.
Jack ended up being our only child, as it put a fairly severe strain on my wife’s health. In fact, it seemed to put a strain on her completely. That tenacity she had suddenly overcame the gentler part of her personality. She was a great mother to Jack, but our marriage cooled as the years went on. I suppose I wasn’t helping anything, though. After years of being stuck in that pointless, dead-end job doing grunt work, I had impressed the right guy at work. I think it mainly stemmed from me giving him the last Danish in the snack room, but whatever it was, I seemed to be a made man in the company after that. I got a massive promotion, being given a couple of fairly important accounts to take care of. When I fell ass-backwards into Oracle stock, which almost immediately went up nine-fold, my reputation was set. Of course, being a made man meant being made a busy man. My work schedule went from 40-45 hours a week to 65-75 hours a week. My wrestling time dried up, as did my time with the family.
While things weren’t great with Ellen, I wasn’t as worried about that as my time with Jack. I had discovered that, for whatever reason, Jack’s relationship with me didn’t have that same hero-worship aspect that my relationship with Dad used to have. Jack seemed dead set on doing everything on his own. He refused to help me teach him how to tie his show, figuring it out on his own after six long weeks of effort and six new pairs of shoelaces, after incidents involving tape, glue, staplers, and fire (I don’t know where he got that last one). When I suggested Little League, he joined a swim team instead. Jack wouldn’t even join Boy Scouts, and I had a sneaking suspicion that I had somehow raised a Clinton voter. Fortunately, Jack was willing to let me into his life for one thing, and one thing only: wrestling.
Jack shared the same love of wrestling that I had, and my father had. We watched it religiously, and after 1993, I made sure my Monday nights were free to watch Monday Night Raw with Jack. He did end up liking Rick Rude, confirming my suspicions, but he also dug The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. I was more of a Bret Hart man, and we had a good time debating who would end up winning those matches. However, even the wrestling grew apart after a while. Around 1997, my job became busier and busier. I tried to get home when I could to watch with Jack, but I had no idea what was going on. The who teamed with Brian Pillman and Ted DiBiase was beating the hell out of Vince McMahon, my favorite play by play man. The Rock, whose father was one of my dad’s favorites, was calling people “roody poos”, whatever that meant. And the Undertaker was a biker, not a deadman. What the hell was this? I barely kept up with it anymore, leaving Jack to fill me in whenever I showed some minor interest. When I bought Summerslam with him in 2001, I was shocked to see WCW running wild, but even that wasn’t enough to make me care anymore.
Work dominated my life now, but it barely dominated my mind. In fact, the only thing that dominated my thoughts was apathy. I didn’t really care about my job anymore. I didn’t see the bursting of the tech bubble coming at all, and a few of my accounts got hosed. Still, they cut me slack, since it was the first time I had ever screwed up. But after that point, I basically put my accounts on autopilot. I spent 70 hours a week in the office, but spent most of my time thinking of whatever would keep me going through the day. When I went home, I vegged out in front of the TV. Ellen and I barely saw each other, and Jack was never home. I later found out he had a girlfriend, and he would go over there to do his homework, and likely more than that. I was proud of him, and disappointed in myself. I missed my son’s first girlfriend. Hell, I never even gave him the talk. Did Ellen do it? Did Jack figure it out himself? If he did, I hope it required less trial and effort than tying his shoes did (and less fire involved to boot).
When I would be sitting lifeless at the office, I started reading. During school, I had ‘minored’ in English, but I could only remember two books I read through four years: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, and Between The Acts by Virginia Woolf. No idea why those two stuck, but they did. I regretted it, though. I started reading Shakespeare, Plath, Twain, Melville, Poe, Defoe, Austen, Frost, and dozens of others. The stacks of books I had finished dwarfed my inbox. I lost myself in the world of great fiction, to the point of ignoring almost everything.
One day, I had to stay home sick. I was pissed about that – despite hating my job, I hadn’t missed a day of work in almost six years. And I had left The Merchant of Venice on my desk. Still, as I brooded at home in front of the television, Jack walked in front of me, heading for the kitchen. I did a quick double-take – It was a Wednesday in the middle of February.
“Jack, why are you here? Why aren’t you at school?”
Jack just glowered at me, before mumbling, “I got suspended” and planting his head back inside the fridge.
“WHAT?” I asked, shocked. “When did this happen?”
“Three days ago” came Jack’s muffled voice from inside the fridge. What was he hunting for, a path to China?
“THREE DAYS? Why didn’t I know about this?” I was shocked that my son, MY SON, had been suspended from school, and neither my wife nor my son felt the need to inform me of this.
“I dunno. Ask mom.”
“You should be telling me these things, Jack!”
Jack exploded out of the fridge, looking furious. “Oh, NOW you care about me, huh? Fine dad, I got suspended for going after a kid who started mocking me. I cracked him in the jaw, put him in a side headlock, and locked in an armbar until three teachers pulled me off. I go back to school on Monday. Now leave me alone for another six months.”
Jack walked off with his turkey sandwich, leaving me with a string of questions. Were there more turkey sandwiches in the fridge? Where the hell did he learn to fight like that? And more importantly, what had happened to my family where I wasn’t told about my own son getting a week’s suspension?
I confronted my wife that night when she got back from wherever the heck she had been. All I knew was that she was there when I got home every night at 8…I just figured she was around the house all day. As Ellen came into the kitchen, a small folder in her hand, I sat up straight in the char I had slouched over in. “So, Jack got suspended?”
She looked over, surprised, but tried to compose herself: “Yes, Jack got in a fight at school. He’ll be back on Monday.”
“Oh, I know,” I replied, my voice dripping with venom. “But I was unaware of this until TODAY. He got suspended three days ago, Ellen! When were you planning on telling me?”
“When were you planning on noticing anything, Bruce?” I tried to interject, but her voice raised to drown mine out. “You’re not here at all, and when you are you’ve got your damn nose buried in a book! You didn’t know about Jack’s girlfriend until they had been dating for six weeks, you missed my birthday last week, and you didn’t even notice me moving your stuff out!”
I was pissed. “Kids like to hide things from their parents, Ellen…wait, moving my stuff out?”
She moved the folder in front of her chest, clutching it tight with both hands like a life jacket. “Yes, Bruce. Moving your stuff out. I’ve had enough of this. This isn’t a relationship, Bruce. It’s a total sham. We haven’t been happy in a long time, and you haven’t been a father or a husband for a long time either. It’s time for this to end. Jack’s going off to college in a year or two, and I want absolutely no part of living alone with you after that.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Yes, I can. I got the papers today, Bruce. Just sign them and I won’t be too hard when we divide the assets.”
“Divide MY assets? None of this is yours!”
“Bullshit it’s not, Bruce! If you’d like, we can go in front of a judge and I can explain that you haven’t been a father to Jack for six years, that we haven’t gone on a vacation, that you didn’t notice everything getting moved out for the last month….you’ll lose, Bruce. Just go along with this, and I’ll let you have first say in what you want to keep.”
I panicked. “I want Jack.”
She seemed caught off-guard by this comment, but regrouped easily, almost smiling after a couple seconds. “That’s absurd, Bruce. You’ve been a lousy father, and Jack needs a parent around who’s going to take an interest in his day to day life. Do you want to help sew Jack’s costume for theater, or spend your Wednesday afternoons in a chlorine-drenched pool cheering him on?”
“Wait…Jack does theater?” This brought a smile to my lips…my father had made me do theater.
“That’s it, Bruce. He’s been in two plays this year. You blew both of them off. That’s it. We’ll split the assets, and be done with this. Read through the forms.”
With that, Ellen tossed the forms on the table in front of me and went up to our bedroom. Nope, make that her bedroom….the settlement had her taking the house. Spec-tacular.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Jack and I will be back tomorrow, Bruce. By then, you better have moved out. I’ll see you Friday at Tom’s office. Good…goodbye, Bruce” Ellen quickly turned and paced out the door. Thank god, only four more days till we meet again at the lawyer’s office. I can’t wait.
I turned to Jack, who was standing there looking at me. I looked at him. My son. He was taller than me now, by a solid two inches. He was well-built from the years and years of swimming. Looks like he made the right choice with swimming over baseball. I reached out my right hand to Jack, offering it to him. “Jack…I’m gonna miss you more than you can understand. I might…I’ve been a lousy father for the last few years, but I will always love you more than anything else. The most exciting day of my life was the day you were born, and the biggest regret I have is that I wasn’t as good a father to you as my father was to me.”
Jack kept looking at me, seemingly unsure to react. After the longest second of my life, he accepted my hand and shook my hand, crushing a bone or two in the process. I was about to release when he pulled me close, hugging me. “I’ll miss you too, Dad” he said, patting me on the back. I teared up slightly as he released me and quickly turned, not wanting to look back. He snatched his backpack off the ground and pushed the door open, heading for the car where Ellen waited impatiently. As they drove off, I got my last look at my family. As they drove out of sight, we officially joined half of America as a broken home.
I turned and walked upstairs, not wanting to finish packing quite yet. I looked into Ellen’s bedroom, which had been repainted pink. The bathroom was in shambles, with Ellen remodeling it. I looked enviously at the Jacuzzi which had arrived the day before, then closed the door to that room. I would be happy never seeing that pink section of hell for the rest of my life.
As I was about to walk down the stairs, I noticed the door to Jack’s room was open. I stuck my head in, looking around. I hadn’t really looked inside Jack’s room in months, and hadn’t taken the time to analyze his room in much longer than that. His wall was absolutely plastered in different memorabilia. One wall was random posters and things, a snapshot of all his eclectic sides. I saw the Kerry-Edwards ’04 sticker still on his wall, and shook my head slightly. The second wall was a tribute to Jack’s life. Awards from school, swimming, and theater lay next to photos of Jack and his friends, only one of whom I could recognize – his old friend Paul Litter, who watched wrestling with us a long time ago. The third wall was covered in sports memorabilia. Patriots gear sat next to Yankees posters – I hadn’t been able to win him over to the Sox. One of the greatest regrets of my life. At least he was a Patriots fan.
The final wall was my consolation. A poster of The Rock in the center of the wall anchored wrestling memorabilia. Some were old posters from the WWWF days that I had given him, which provided an interesting contrast to Kurt Angle and Batista posters. Wrestling was the only thing I successfully passed along to Jack. I had almost no impact on him, and he turned out really well. Says a lot for my skills as a parent. Still, at least I had this wall. That wall represented me. As I turned to leave, I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. Next to his bed, he had two pictures in frames. One was a picture of him with the two of us from a few years ago, on a vacation to Mexico – the last vacation we had taken. The other picture, looking a little faded but still vibrant, was of Rick Rude – the picture I had given him 17 years ago at the age of four weeks.
I expected to feel myself tearing up. Instead, I felt something else that I hadn’t felt in a long time – ambition. I wanted to do something with my life. I wanted my son to respect me, and I wanted to have fun with what I did. I thought it over for about thirty seconds. I was about two weeks away from getting shitcanned at Fidelity anyways, so job security wasn’t an issue. Money wasn’t an issue either – even after Ellen took 45% of my assets (she didn’t want to take 50% ‘to be nice about it’ – that bitch), I still had over $9 million to my name. And I had the knowledge, and the desire. I had followed wrestling since I was seven. So what if I hadn’t watched much in the last eight or so years? It was still wrestling, right? I could do this. I could run my own wrestling promotion. What could be more fun than that?
==============================================================
I don’t know how well this will go over. I don’t have a crew, a roster, a location, storylines, or a spot in the market. But what I do have is a lot of money, a love of wrestling, and absolutely nothing to lose. I also have a picture of Rick Rude holding the IC Title in my pocket. I’m going to be king of the greatest wrestling promotion of all-time. No shock tactics, no miserable old guys wrestling, no bait-and-switch, no senseless hardcore, no pure technical chain wrestling for 2 hours at a time. I’m not going to blinded by my love for the past, and I’m not going to obsess about the next big thing. This is going to be fun, entertaining, and as smart as wrestling can be. We are going to lead the next great revolution in wrestling, a rebirth of the sport. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll make something of myself in the process.
My name is Bruce Hawkins. I run Renaissance Championship Wrestling.
-
Good news: I finally have the time to continue this diary, so it's going to be back, probably within 24 hours. I have half the next show written, and it'll be up by midday tomorrow. Here's how I'm going to try writing this:
- Due to vacations, I'll be writing whenever I'm around. Dunno how it'll go, but updates will be spotty for the next week or so.
- After the middle of January, I will be updating once a week. Due to heavy school commitments, I won't have time to do much more than 15-20 minutes a day on the diary, so I'll try and set a particular day each week for a show.
- I promise to stick with the diary this time. I have some long-term plans for it, and some (hopefully) good stuff planned for the short term as well.
Hopefully people will read this, and (of course) all comments are appreciated. Thanks, and the next update (the card for this show is a few posts and a few months back) will be within 24 hours.
-
A post to let people know that I finally have net access back, and the return of HPW will be fairly soon. I lost the original file, but since it's only been a few shows, I'll just sim the results again, get something close to what I had before, and then go from there. Expect a show sometime in the next couple of days when I get the rest of my computer settings straightened out.
-
A little bit of bad news: My computer's hard drive crashed yesterday. I'm waiting for Dell to send me a new one, and then I'll send the old and new ones away to recover the data. It'll be a couple of weeks, but when the hard drive is ready to go, I'll return to posting this diary. I'll be on a vacation for most of that time anyways, so I won't miss too much writing time. Hopefully Hollywood Pro Wrestling will be back up and running in about 2 weeks.
-
SATURDAY, JULY 11, 2004
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
After Tim had given me the go-ahead to get some new guys on board, I went out and scoured the free agent ranks, trying to find some guys to plug in some holes. I had just been struck a tough blow, as I had just gotten off the phone with Paul London. He had handed in his resignation, telling me that he was ready to move on to bigger companies. It was an understandable thing to run into, but that didn’t make it any easier to stomach. London had just put on easily the best match in HPW history with Xstasy, and now he wasn’t going to get a chance to follow up on that. I knew the fans would be disappointed, but they’d understand as well. That’s the way the business works, after all.
However, I had learned a couple of lessons from London’s short time in Hollywood Pro Wrestling. What Rocky had proposed was most certainly the wrong way to try and run a wrestling promotion of this size, but I realized that I had made some major flaws when planning HPW out as well. Namely, I had targeted guys who were fairly big names on the indy scene and locked them up to open contracts. However, as London had shown, they weren’t going to sign written deals, and they weren’t going to stick around for very long either. Therefore, I had to realize that I couldn’t be quite as greedy. I needed to realize that I was the 35th biggest company running, and there was NO ONE smaller than me out there. I can’t hope to be signing the Paul Londons of the world. Instead, I needed to create my own stars, and that meant starting small. The key was to find people who had the tools, but hadn’t been unleashed on the wrestling scene yet. If I used those guys, then I’d get them signed up for a long period of time, I’d have a chance to create my own stars, and my storylines wouldn’t be in a constant state of flux. That was the key to success.
So with this in mind, I hit the free agent lists hard. Eventually, I found three guys out there who looked like they’d be useful to our promotion. They weren’t the guys that Rocky would like, and they weren’t my original top choices either, but they were the key to HPW’s long term success. That kind of guy, I mean. Not them in particular. At least I hope they’re not…
- Christopher Idol (11 Over, Heel, Boy Band): Christopher Idol was a charismatic young guy who had previously been working a blue chipper gimmick, However, that wasn’t the direction we were gonna go with him. I have a deep personal distaste for American Idol, but since about 10% of the country watches it every week, I knew it had some real mainstream appeal. Idol would have a nice boy band gimmick, and he’d make everyone hate him really quickly. He protested at first, since he couldn’t sing at all, but that wasn’t going to be a problem. Not everyone knows who won American Idol, but EVERYONE knows who William Hung is.
- Jason Rumble (14 Over, Face, Street Fighter): Jason Rumble didn’t require a lot of work for his gimmick. He was a rough-and-tumble kid off the street who could really brawl when he needed to, and was definitely a real hard-nosed guy. We decided to just play off that, and we booked him as a kid who grew up on the streets and fought just about every day of his life. Hopefully he’d mesh well with the guys, and we thought he’d be a solid addition to the roster
- Lou Tyler (20 Over, Face, Show Stealer): Lou Tyler was an interesting addition to the roster. He told us up-front that the name Lou Tyler was a total alias. The reason that he wanted the pseudonym was that his father was prominently involved in the wrestling business in one way or another. He wanted a chance to earn his way through on his own merits, so he had totally changed his identity. He asked for a chance, and we were more than willing to give it to him. The guy could really fly when he wanted to, and he was gonna be a real show stealer, in the vein of Xstasy. He’ll be a nice addition to the roster, and will definitely mix well with the rest of the roster.
------------------------------------------------------------
OFFICIAL~! Preview For HPW Seek and Destroy
Sunday, July 25, 2004
HPW WORLD TITLE MATCH
Typhoon vs. Xstasy
- Last month, in the best match in HPW’s short history, Xstasy managed to defeat the now-departed Paul London to win the #1 Contendership to the HPW World Title! Also at Higher Ground, Typhoon beat Brutus Beefcake in a World Title match (that was NOT the Match of the Year). Now, Xstasy gets his chance at the title. Can Typhoon hang on to the belt he’s held since HPW’s inception, or will Typhoon be the next person to experience the Joy of X?
HPW WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH (1 OF 3)
Austin Lee vs. Feltcher
- Now that Xstasy is getting his shot at the title, there’s a lack of competition for the belt. Therefore, Hollywood Pro Wrestling has decided to hold three #1 Contender matches, with a four corners match scheduled for HPW One Man Army in August. This will be the first of the matches, as Feltcher gets his chance at revenge against Austin Lee now that his jaw has healed. Will Lee be triumphant once again, or can Feltcher get a shot at the HPW World Title?
HPW WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH (2 OF 3)
Dan Gibraltar vs. Chance Beckett
- Dan Gibraltar is flying high after putting up a big victory against Austin Lee and Lucien Van Wurl. However, the Rock isn’t going to be part of this match. Dan Gibraltar will be going for his first singles win in HPW history. However, Chance Beckett is going to have an opportunity to get his hands on the HPW World Title as well! Now Dan Gibraltar is going to get his chance at the big time!
HPW WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH (3 OF 3)
Fabulous Frederick vs. Bruce Lancaster
- This is the third of three matches for the HPW World Title #1 Contendership, and promises to be an excellent matchup. Frederick has been knocking out everything in his path, but Bruce Lancaster is looking to be the first man to change that streak. Will Bruce Lancaster be ready for the big time, or will Frederick prove that Bruce should have stayed back at KTTV?
BRUCE’S BEAT
This Week’s Guest: Christopher Idol
- Before Bruce’s match, he’ll host another edition of the award-winning* interview series Bruce’s Beat! Bruce will have an interview with one of the newest additions to the HPW roster, Christopher Idol! What will Idol have to say about his HPW debut? Tune in to Bruce’s Beat in order to find out exactly what Idol has to say!
AND MORE!
Sunday, July 25, 2004!
Hollywood, California!
HPW SEEK AND DESTROY!
-
* WWE Title: Eddie Guerrero © v. Brock Lesnar v. Kurt Angle (8 pts.)
* US Title: Rob Van Dam © v. Matt Hardy (4 pts.)
* WWE Tag Titles, ladder match: Filthy Animals © v. Team JAPAN (6 pts.)
* 3 Live Kru v. Team Angle (3 pts.)
* Undertaker and Torrie Wilson v. Nathan Jones and Shannon Ward (7 pts.)
* Hurricane v. Bull Buchanan (5 pts.)
* #1 Contenders Match: Los Maximos v. APA v. Shannon Moore and Bubba Rogers (1 pt.)
* With special referee Nidia: Jamie Noble v. Billy Gunn (2 pts.)
* Sean Morley, Mark Henry, and Steven Richards v. Nova, Paul London, and a mystery partner (9 pts.)
QUESTIONS:
1. Who's the mystery partner?
- A re-hired John Cena
2. Which match goes on first?
- RVD vs. Matt Hardy, US Title Match
3. What is EWR's Match of the Night?
- Filthy Animals vs. Team JAPAN, Ladder Match
4. What match will be the shortest?
- Jamie Noble vs. Billy Gunn
5. Someone gets legitimately hurt on this show. Who?
- Billy Kidman
SURVEY QUESTIONS (no credit, but please help me out):
1. Is this card worth the $35 WWE would charge for it?
- Based on the the triple-threat for the main event, the ladder match, and RVD/Matt Hardy, I think this is definitely worth it. It's better than just about any Smackdown PPV card they've had since the split.
2. What match would you most be looking forward to?
- The World Title match, no doubt. Guerrero vs. Lesnar vs. Angle is a great-sounding match. And I'm a huge mark for ladder matches AND Rey Mysterio, so that's an extremely close second.
3. What match do you wish wasn't on the card?
- Hurricane vs. Bull Buchanan. Why not just make it an 8-man tag with a mystery partner? This match might make a good Smackdown match, but for a PPV, it just doesn't work for me.
4. Who is underpushed on SmackDown!?
- Until a month ago, I would have said Lesnar, but he's making big strides now. I'd like to see Mysterio get a good solo run in, but he's getting a big tag push now, so I have no major complaints there.
5. Who has gotten overpushed on SmackDown!?
- Nathan Jones and Kidman are the two I can think of. Jones is junk, and Kidman really isn't all that interesting a character (although his BVS background does make it a lot easier to justify his place)
6. What independent signing should I look into making?
- Besides the ususal suspects (Styles, Daniels, and Raven), I'd like to see you bring in America's Most Wanted to help beef up the RAW tag team division. The Smackdown tag division is incredibly strong, and RAW's could use a small shot in the arm to help bring it up to Smackdown's standards.
7. What storyline has been the best written?
- I've surprisingly liked the build to the RTC 6-man, which is a surprise to me. Also, I've enjoyed the Filthy Animals/Team JAPAN recent build, with Heyman being the brunt of the storyline.
8. What storyline should be dropped without hesitation?
- Either drop the women from the Jones/Taker feud, or get rid of Gunn/Noble/Nidia. They already did this stuff on Smackdown, and it wasn't entertaining. I'm sure you'd do a better job of it, but still, I just don't like any of the characters.
-
HPW HIGHER GROUND
Saturday, June 19, 2004
LIVE from Hollywood, California!
DARK MATCH:
Bruce Lancaster vs. Feltcher
Bruce came out real fired up for this one, and went straight to work on Feltcher, who didn’t even have a chance to pull his normal tricks on Lancaster. Bruce went at Feltcher with a number of basic maneuvers, working on the arm of Feltcher with a series of armbreakers, hammerlocks, and armbars to weaken Feltcher’s right arm. It was actually good psychology, and it was far superior than anything Typhoon or Beefcake had managed to show off in their time in the ring so far. Feltcher kept trying to make comebacks, but Lancaster would always manage to get him back down on the mat. I was gonna stop the match after 10 or so minutes, but I let the referee know that Lancaster could have an extra five minutes or so out there. Eventually, after Feltcher had made a comeback, he went for his normal scare tactics on Lancaster. As he went to tap Lancaster on the shoulder, Lancaster grabbed his arm, pulled hard, and Feltcher went leaping back in pain. Lancaster took advantage and hit a piledriver for the win, which got a decent pop from the crowd. Maybe Bruce COULD work out in the ring after all…
RATING:
CROWD: 24
MATCH: 66
OVERALL: 45
-----------------------------------------------------
Austin Lee Has A Celebration
The show officially opens with a few balloons tied to the ringposts, with a big banner that says “CONGRATULATIONS AUSTIN” draped over one side of the ring. Austin Lee’s music hits, and he comes striding cockily down to the ring with a shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. He slides into the ring, then reaches into his pocket. His hand re-emerges, filled with confetti, and he starts tossing it up into the air and basking in the slow descent of the confetti. The crowd has a field day with this, booing the hell out of Lee, who seems even happier as the boos get louder. Eventually, his music dies out, and Lee takes a break from sprinkling the confetti over himself to start speaking to the crowd (once again, sans microphone. I guess that’s his thing now…)
Lee: “All I have to say is this, maggots: 2-0!”
The crowd immediately begins booing again, with Lee’s smile becoming ever-bigger. Eventually, the crowd boos itself out and Lee starts to talk again.
Lee: “I know, I know. You people thought that the two prides of HPW, Feltcher and Dan Gibraltar, were gonna take me down tonight! Well, they DIDN’T! Despite the fact that I had to wrestle two matches in one night, I beat both of them cleanly in the middle of the ring, 1-2-3! Neither of them could hold a candle to me, just as no one else in this horrible, pest-ridden promotion can! I’m the reason to even bother watching this bunch of losers, and even then…wait, hold on one second, would ya?”
Lee reaches back into his pocket and starts sprinkling confetti over his head again, which really gets the crowd incensed. Lee dances around underneath the confetti for a bit, then shakes bits of confetti out of his hair and resumes his diatribe against HPW.
Lee: “You see, once again, I have proven that the wrestlers of this company, other than mee, are nothing to be proud of! You get nothing but a bunch of wannabe wrestlers with no talent who have to resort to ANYTHING to get noticed by the big promotions! I mean, a guy who’s stalking the Rock and a guy in a SKELETON MASK were supposed to be competition for me? I swear, this place…”
“SHUT THE HELL UP!”
The crowd, as well as Austin Lee, is silenced for a moment as they whirl around to the entranceway, where Dan Gibraltar is standing with a microphone. The crowd cheers as they recognize him, which seems to really anger Lee.
Lee: “What the hell are you doing out here, you little freak? This is MY time to talk about MY victories at Novocaine, which includes a win over YOU!”
Gibraltar: “Lee, stop running your damn lies all over the place! Last I checked, you had to CHEAT to beat me in that match last week! You clearly had your foot on the ropes, and that’s how you pinned me! How can you go around talking about how we’re a bunch of jabronis who don’t have any talent, and yet you were so afraid of me, you needed to CHEAT to win!?!”
Lee: “That’s funny you say that I cheated, Mr. I Wanna Be The Rock. Why don’t you show us all the video of you losing by ‘cheating’?”
Gibraltar: “Well, ummm….we can’t show videos to the crowd. We don’t have that technology. Maybe we could have them file backstage and show it to them on a VCR…”
Lee: “Shut up, Gibraltar! Although you make one good point: We don’t have that technology because this a total bush-league production, and you’re just a bush-league guy, Gibraltar! You don’t deserve a federation this good to wrestle in, and when you consider how awful this place is to begin with, that’s saying something!”
Gibraltar: “You know what, I’ve had enough of your crap, Lee!” This gets a big pop from the crowd, and Lee just stands there, mocking Gibraltar with his body language.
Lee: “What are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna make me pay?”
Gibraltar: “I want a rematch! TONIGHT! Me and you, Lee! I’ll show you how this is really done!”
The crowd gives a big pop for this, but Lee shakes his head from side to side, with a condescending tone entering his voice.
Lee: “Well Dan, I’d love to, but you see, you couldn’t beat me the first time. I have no reason to grant you another shot at me. You just aren’t worthy of my time when I could be looking on to bigger and better things in the hopes of getting the hell out of here!”
The crowd boos doubly hard, upset at the challenge being denied and Lee’s insult to HPW. However, Gibraltar shoots right back with another proposal.
Gibraltar: “Fine then! How about me and you have ourselves a little tag match then? I’m sure that despite the asshole that you are, you have a friend back there somewhere. Why don’t you find him, and the two of you can team up against the two people who you fought last week! Me and Feltcher versus you and some partner! How about that, Lee?”
Lee stands there for a second, rubbing his chin as he thinks about it for a minute. Finally, he nods his head quickly, and looks up at Gibraltar.
Lee: “You know what, kid? You’re on! I’ll see you and skeleton boy later on tonight! Now get the hell out of here!”
Gibraltar, happy that he got what he came for, gets a pop from the fans before heading to the back, probably in search of Feltcher. Meanwhile, Lee sprinkles the rest of his confetti over the ring, then unties the balloons and walks to the back with them, looking ready for the match later on that night.
Road Agent Notes: Austin Lee gained 2 points of overness from this segment. Dan "Rock Of" Gibralter gained 2 points of overness from this segment.
RATING: 55
-----------------------------------------------------
Feltcher vs. Fabulous Frederick
Frederick enters first, still wearing his satin robe. As he shadowboxes down the aisle, Feltcher comes sneaking out with Frederick’s music still playing extremely loudly. Due to the music, Frederick can’t hear the crowd reacting to Feltcher’s stalking of Frederick, nor the footsteps behind him. As Frederick starts to climb up the ringsteps, Feltcher reaches out with his foot and steps on the back of Frederick’s robe, stopping Frederick in his footsteps. He turns around angrily, only to be met by Feltcher yelling “BOO!” at the top of his lungs before collapsing in laughter. Frederick quickly sheds the robe, grabs Feltcher by the back of the head, and rolls him into the ring, throwing left jabs all the while. Feltcher tries to block the punches, still laughing a bit, but Frederick simply overpowers him. Feltcher gets backed into a corner as Frederick starts to go to town on him, throwing punches everywhere. Finally, Feltcher staggers out of the corner, only to be met with the big LEFT-RIGHT-UPPERCUT combo! Feltcher collapses, and the referee starts the 10 count. However, as the referee hits 9, Frederick reaches down off the mat and yanks Feltcher to his feet, drawing a surprised round of boos from the crowd. Frederick backs him against the ropes, then hits the big LEFT-RIGHT-UPPERCUT combo again, which collapses Feltcher again. This time, Frederick lets him stay down for the 10 count, getting the win, but Feltcher isn’t moving after the match ends. Our medic comes out to check on him, and eventually has Feltcher stretchered out, prompting Jack Douglas at the announce position to wonder about what will become of the big tag-team matchup later tonight.
RATING:
CROWD: 29
MATCH: 66
OVERALL: 47
-----------------------------------------------------
Another Edition Of Bruce's Beat!
Bruce Lancaster is already set up in the middle of the ring, with the Update News Desk set up in the middle of the ring. However, the KTTV music is no longer playing in the background, as it’s been replaced by new music. The KTTV logo is also gone from the front of the desk, now replaced with a big KBRC logo on the front. Bruce has a microphone in hand, and starts to address the crowd as the music dies out.
Bruce: “Hello, I’m Bruce Lancaster, and welcome to another edition of Bruce’s Beat! Before we begin tonight, I’d like to inform you all of some changes in our upcoming programming schedule. You see, I have recently left KTTV in order to concentrate my full-time efforts here in Hollywood Pro Wrestling! So now, each and every show, you’ll be tuning in here to Bruce’s Beat on the NEWEST network in the Los Angeles area: KBRC! All Bruce, all the time!”
The crowd isn’t quite sure how to respond to this, but he gets a smattering of applause from the crowd before he begins the lead-in to the meat of the segment.
Bruce: “But although this segment is called BRUCE’S Beat, you didn’t come here to listen to me talk about myself! You came here to see me ask the hard questions to the other HPW superstars! And today, Bruce’s Beat has a huge guest! We’re very proud to welcome the man who later on tonight will take on Typhoon for the HPW World Title! Please give a warm welcome to Mr. Brutus Beefcake!”
Brutus Beefcake comes walking down the aisle, high-fiving a few of the fans on the way down. However, the crowd is lukewarm to this as well, and the cheers for Beefcake don’t really materialize as he makes his way into the ring. He waves to the crowd, which gets another small pop, but Beefcake sits down at the Update News Desk with a small tinge of disappointment on his face as Bruce Lancaster readies his index cards for the interview.
Bruce: “Now, Mr. Beefcake. You’ve gotten off to a rough start here at HPW, with your record standing at 0-2! However, tonight, you have a shot at redemption when you take on Typhoon in a World Title match! How do you feel going into tonight’s match?”
Beefcake: “I’m as ready as I’m ever gonna be, Bruce! You see, Typhoon doesn’t deserve to be the champion here at HPW!” (The reaction this statement gets, I note, is the loudest the crowd has gotten during this segment.) “He cheated in his tag match against me last time at Novocaine, and proved that he doesn’t have what it takes to be champion!”
Bruce: “But Mr. Beefcake, based on your 0-2 record, many people in the industry are claiming that you are also unworthy of holding the belt. How do you respond to criticisms by people such as Austin Lee who claim that they, not you, should be getting their chance at becoming HPW World Champion?”
Beefcake: “Well, Bruce, I respect each and every member of this roster…except for Typhoon, of course. I have no problem with people earning their way to the top, but when you look at the win Typhoon picked up against me, it came under very dubious circumstances! I feel that when I’m given a legitimate shot at winning this belt, and if Typhoon is forced to follow the rules, then we shall truly see who is worthy of being crowned HPW Champion!”
Bruce: “On another note, Mr. Beefcake, it’s clear that you’re a good deal older than most people in this company. Why are you still wrestling at this stage in your career, and what has allowed you to stay on top even at your old age?”
Beefcake: “Bruce, I’ve trained hard my entire career, and over my 20 years in this business, I’ve learned enough to keep myself on top. You don’t have to worry about any kind of drop-off in production from me! Just because I’m not a spring chicken doesn’t mean that I don’t have one more big win left in this body of mine! And tonight, when I get into that ring with Typhoon, I’m sure that all the fans will be behind me, ready to see Typhoon knocked off his perch once and for all!” The crowd tries to sound enthusiastic for this, but fails miserably and sounds depressed.
Bruce: “Mr. Beefcake, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor here tonight. Good luck, and may you be victorious tonight in your title match.”
Beefcake: “Thanks a lot, Bruce. But I don’t need luck for this one! With the power of the fans behind me, and my righteousness going up against Typhoon’s cheating ways, this match is as good as mine!”
Road Agent Notes: Brutus Beefcake gained 3 points of overness from this segment. Bruce Lancaster gained 2 points of overness from this segment.
RATING: 55
------------------------------------------------------
Paul London vs. Xstasy
#1 Contendership To The HPW World Title
With the crowd a little drowsy after the Beefcake segment, and with another Beefcake/Typhoon segment following this one, I figured that this would be the perfect time to throw in the long-awaited singles match (at least in my mind) between Xstasy and Paul London. These were the two best workers we had, and I was looking forward to seeing what they could do. Xstasy comes down to a decent pop and celebrated on the turnbuckle, posing for the crowd. As he celebrates, Paul London comes walking out from the back with a determined look in his eye. The crowd starts to boo as London reaches up to the turnbuckle from the outside and yanks on Xstasy’s foot, sending him tumbling down off the turnbuckle and to the canvas. London slides into the ring, and this match is ready to get underway.
London and Xstasy both lock up, but Xstasy wins it and sends London flying backwards. London, surprised, charges and takes Xstasy down with a shoulder block. The two trade moves on the mat before London wins out with a sleeper hold locked tightly in. Xstasy counters with a kick to the knee, followed by a jawbreaker to London. Xstasy goes for a standing moonsault, but London slides out of the way and rolls Xstasy up for the 1, 2, not quite as Xstasy kicks out. London stays on the offensive, backing Xstasy into the turnbuckle and hitting shoulder thrusts before planting him with a SWEET running dropkick. Xstasy falls to the mat, and London his a tope into the ring before covering for another two count. London goes to the apron once again and goes for a springboard rana, but Xstasy catches him and delivers a SWEET sitout powerbomb in one fluid motion! The crowd is alive and well once again as Xstasy covers for a 1, 2, 3-NO! as London kicks out at the last possible second!
London is groggy, and Xstasy decides to go for it all right then. He hits a quick snap suplex, setting London up, then heads to the top. He goes off the top with a big 450 Splash, which he calls the Soargasm, but London JUST gets out of the way, and Xstasy crashes into a heap on the canvas. London covers, but only gets two on the count. London hits a fisherman’s buster, which he bridges for another two count, then takes Xstasy down to the canvas with an armbar. He turns the armbar into a modified Crossface, but Xstasy manages to grab the ropes for two. London hits a running forearm, then hits Xstasy with several knees to the face when X is on the ground. He covers, but only gets 2 to nobody’s surprise. London tries to pick Xstasy up, but he gets a surprise reverse cradle for the 1, 2, NO! as London, more surprised than anyone else, manages to kick out JUST in the nick of time!
London is the first one up, still in better shape, and goes for another suplex, which Xstasy reverses. He grabs London’s head and pulls it back, hitting an Edgecution on London. He thinks about going up top, and starts to climb the turnbuckle, but London is back up quickly and crotches Xstasy on the ropes, stopping his momentum before he could get started. London climbs up onto the turnbuckle and hooks Xstasy, going for the big superplex to set up the London Calling. However, London gets hit by Xstasy once, twice, and the third time sends London falling back to earth. Before London has a chance to recover, Xstasy gets back to his feet and sends himself up off the top rope once again with the Soargasm! However, this time Xstasy connects, and covers Paul London for the 1, 2, 3 as the crowd explodes for the victory! Xstasy and Paul London have just put on the Match of the Year in HPW, and Xstasy is the new #1 Contender for the HPW World Title!
RATING:
CROWD: 51
MATCH: 92(!!!)
OVERALL: 71
-------------------------------------------------------
Xstasy Speaks After His Victory
As the crowd is still live after the match, Xstasy grabs the microphone from Jack Douglas at ringside and decides to address all 139 (a nice step up, I must say) of the HPW fans in attendance that night.
Xstasy: “I am the new #1 Contender!”
That’s as far as he can get before an “X! X! X! X!” chant starts up, which Xstasy graciously allows to die out before he continues on.
Xstasy: “Tonight was a hard-fought battle! Paul London gave that match everything he had, and I appreciate him going all-out like that! But tonight, Paul London was not at his best! Tonight, Paul London could not match up to the X-citement and X-troadinary ability that I bring to the ring each and every night!” The crowd is eating this up after that last match, and X is more than happy to continue stringing them along.
Xstasy: “But this is only half the battle! Somehow, at Kick Start, Typhoon managed to pin me! If he is triumphant tonight, then I shall gladly get my retribution against him! And if Brutus Beefcake defeats Typhoon tonight, then he too shall fall before me! Because the X-act truth is that neither of these men can withstand the….JOY OF X!”
With that, Xstasy throws down his microphone, poses one more time, then exits the ring as the fans cheer him on, eager to see him get his shot at the HPW World Title at July’s big event, HPW Seek and Destroy.
Road Agent Notes: Xstasy gained 2 points of overness from this segment.
RATING: 76
------------------------------------------------------
Typhoon vs. Brutus Beefcake
HPW World Title Match
Brutus Beefcake is the first man out, getting a good round of cheers mixed with a couple boos, but Typhoon is booed heavily as he walks down to the ring. Typhoon acknowledges the boos by shouting some extremely lame insults at the crowd before stepping into the ring, ready to do battle. The bell rings, and Beefcake and Typhoon start to circle each other, looking warily at the other. Eventually, the two men lock up and hold on tightly, refusing to break from each other. After twenty seconds or so, Beefcake finally pushes Typhoon back. Typhoon shakes his head out, then charges forward and locks up with Beefcake again. Brutus and Typhoon go back and forth again, with the crowd obviously getting annoyed at the match. Eventually, Beefcake wins again and sends Typhoon flying backwards. Typhoon shakes himself out again, and charges towards Beefcake again. This time, Brutus sidesteps him and throws him into the turnbuckle before hitting a sloppy neckbreaker, which gets a 1, 2, not quite as Typhoon manages to kick out.
A small “Boring! Boring!” chant start to break out as Beefcake tries to keep Typhoon grounded with an armbar. However, after a while, Typhoon breaks out of it with an elbow and hits a big punch on Beefcake, which nearly levels him. Typhoon gets his bearings back, then goes and locks a bearhug on Beefcake, which has the crowd moaning. Beefcake reaches for the ropes after 45 seconds or so, and makes Typhoon break the hold. He dodges a clothesline by Typhoon, ducks underneath him, and locks his sleeper hold on. Typhoon starts to get drowsy but throws a back kick out that catches Beefcake squarely in the groin! The ref was shielded and couldn’t see the low blow, but Beefcake is sure feeling the effects of it. His grip loosens on Typhoon, who locks on a front facelock and hits the DDT on Beefcake! Beefcake is down and out, and Typhoon covers for the 1, 2, 3 and the victory to retain his HPW World Title!
Road Agent Notes: Brutus Beefcake didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating.
RATING:
CROWD: 46
MATCH: 48
OVERALL: 47
-------------------------------------------------------
Dan Gibraltar Finds A Partner
Mercifully, the match is over, and Dan Gibraltar comes walking out to the ring by himself. Jack Douglas puts over his dilemma, as his tag team partner for tonight’s main event, Feltcher, was put out of commission earlier this evening by the Fabulous Frederick’s famous LEFT-RIGHT-UPPERCUT combo. Gibraltar grabs a microphone (we have two now, mercifully) and gets ready to address the crowd.
Gibraltar: “As you all know by now, Dan Gibraltar has a little bit of an issue regarding tonight’s main event tag match! You see, Feltcher was set to tag with me here tonight, and we were going to show a certain Austin Lee just what happens when you decide to mess with the wrong people! Feltcher and I personify everything that’s right with HPW, and Austin Lee feels the need to run us down! But you see, thanks to Frederick, that won’t be happening tonight! Feltcher has been taken out for the rest of the evening, and now, my partner is gone!”
The crowd boos this, but Gibraltar quickly cuts the crowd off, wanting to make his point.
Gibraltar: “Actually, let me clarify that: I DIDN’T have a partner until about half an hour ago! Because when I was backstage, I was thinking hard about who I could find to tag with me! I went through every option there was! I even thought I would come out here and just do this myself, since I know that I can beat Austin Lee, whoever his partner is, or anyone in all of HPW in a clean, straight-up fight! But then I realized that I COULDN’T beat everyone here in a straight-up, clean wrestling match. So I figured, why not team with the guy who I know could beat me?” The crowd is starting to buzz, anticipating the end of Gibraltar’s speech. “So I asked him if he wanted to tag, and he was perfectly happy to come out here and be my tag team partner tonight! So if you’ll please give my partner a BIG round of applause…”
IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
The crowd, their wishes fulfilled, explodes in cheers as the Rock comes walking down to the ring, dressed in full ring attire. A small “ROCKY! ROCKY!” chant starts up and grows, overwhelming the small crowd as the Rock poses on the turnbuckle, taking in each and every member of the crowd. Eventually he hops off the turnbuckle, snatches the microphone right out of Gibraltar’s hands, and tips his head back, ready to begin the show.
Rock: “FINALLY…The Rock HAS COME BACK to HOL-LY-WOOD!”
As I wonder whether that line is gonna get old real soon, since we have every damn show in Hollywood, The Rock starts speaking once again, cutting off my train of thought.
Rock: “However, The Rock is out here for one reason and one reason only: He wants a chance to lay the smackdown on that jabroni Austin Lee! You see, the Rock wasn’t here last month, but the Rock got a chance to hear exactly what Austin said! Every single word of it! And the Rock has this to say: NOBODY, and the Rock means NOBODY, is going to come into the Rock’s company, belittle the Rock, belittle the company that hired him, and then challenge the Rock himself and live to tell about it!” Another round of cheers breaks out, but Rock isn’t interested in hearing them now, choosing instead to plow ahead and take care of business.
Rock: “So when whatever the hell this guy’s name is…”
Dan: “Dan Gibraltar, Rock!”
Rock: “Right, when Dan Giwhatchamacallit asked the Rock to team with him against Austin Lee and his partner, whoever the blue hell that might be, the Rock agreed to do it! The Rock doesn’t care who Danny Boy over there is, but he cares that he’ll get a chance to show Austin Lee exactly how wrong he is! So bring both their little jabroni candy asses out here, and the Rock is going to show them just how wrong they are about the Rock, and how wrong they are about HPW! IF YA SM….”
Road Agent Notes: Dan "Rock Of" Gibraltar gained 1 point of overness from this segment.
RATING: 81
---------------------------------------------------------
The Rock and Dan Gibraltar vs. Austin Lee and ???
Before the Rock can finish the catchphrase, Austin Lee’s voice comes booming over the speaker (actually using a microphone for once):
Austin: “Rock, you better shut your damn mouth! No one wants to hear those tired old catchphrases any more!”
The crowd responds with boos, which Austin Lee quickly moves on.
Austin: “But you know what? I don’t give a crap what you people think! I thought I made that very clear to you people! Boo me all you want! It doesn’t mean that I want to hear the Rock’s goddamn A.D.D.-related ramblings all of a sudden! I just want that pathetic joke of a character to shut his damn mouth once and for all, and to realize there’s a reason he’s no longer welcome in the WWE! He’s the past! The Rock is the past, and I’m the future! I’ll go out there, and I’ll show everyone exactly why I’m better than you! And when I chose my partner for tonight, I wanted someone who would understand exactly what I’m talking about! I wanted someone who realized that you needed to innovate in order to make progress, and to show your real talent! That’s why my partner for tonight is…LUCIEN VAN WURL!”
Lucien’s music hits, and Lucien comes out, holding his own personal paintbrush microphone. He and Austin Lee quickly shake hands, and Lucien begins to talk as the two men walk towards the ring.
Lucien: “You must understand, the greatest among us have suffer-ED for their entire lives! Those who are truly masters of their fields, they shall never be celebra-TED until after their lives have ceas-ED to exist! And Lucien Van Wurl understands that The Rock is nothing special! For when this match is comple-TED, you ignorant peons shall see that Lucien Van Wurl is truly the master, and the Rock is simply another man who has pass-ED his peak!”
With that, Van Wurl and Lee slide into the ring and attack Rock and Gibraltar. The two heels slug away, but Rock and Gibraltar fight back before clearing the ring. Lucien slides in first, and starts off against Dan Gibraltar. Lucien goes for a big move early, but Dan manages to counter Lucien’s powerbomb attempt into a back body drop. Gibraltar hits a clothesline, then picks Lucien up into a gorilla press position, then drops him flat on his face. Lucien reaches out and tags in Austin Lee, who charges and clotheslines Dan to the mat. Austin applies a crucifix armbar, and Dan screams out in pain. Eventually, he makes it to the ropes, but his right arm is in severe pain. Austin charges at Dan again, but Dan sidesteps and hits an armdrag before going down, his right arm throbbing in pain.
Dan reaches out and tries to tag in the Rock, but Austin cuts him off and drags him back into his own corner. He tags in Lucien, and the two men hit a double-team suplex on Gibraltar before Lucien covers, getting a 1, 2, no as Gibraltar kicks out with plenty of time. Lucien grabs Dan and applies a side headlock before running towards the ropes and going for an Acid Drop. However, Dan manages to slip out of the move before Lucien can begin his climb. Lucien jumps onto the turnbuckle and then flies off with a cross body block…..which Gibraltar catches! Dan slinks to his corner, still carrying Van Wurl, and tags in the Rock before hitting a big front slam on Lucien Van Wurl, keeping him down.
Lucien goes for his own corner, but the Rock drags him into the middle of the ring and locks on a Sharpshooter. Lucien is screaming, but Austin Lee makes the save and hits the Rock in the back of the head. Dan Gibraltar goes to take down Austin, but he drills him with a spinebuster before getting onto his corner and calling for Lucien to make the tag. Austin Lee gets the tag and charges into the ring, but the Rock ducks underneath a clothesline attempt before catching Lee on the rebound and PLANTING him with a spinebuster of his own! The Rock waits for Austin Lee to get up, and then hits the Rock Bottom! Lucien Van Wurl comes rushing over, but a spear from Gibraltar brings him back to the mat as the referee counts the 1, 2, 3 for the Rock, giving him and Gibraltar the match! The Rock celebrates with Gibraltar afterwards as Lee and Van Wurl limp to the backstage area, with Austin Lee looking at the two men in the ring with an evil, evil look on his face.
RATING:
CROWD: 52
MATCH: 71
OVERALL: 61
END SHOW
----------------------------------------------------------
OVERALL RATING: 61% (there we go!)
ATTENDANCE: HPW Higher Ground was attended by 139 people!
We made $2780 from ticket sales.
----------------------------------------------------------
After the show, Dwayne (still sweaty from his match) came up to me with a business-like look on his face. He asked me to head to his office, and as we stepped in there, I heard some words that I didn’t often hear from Dwayne:
Dwayne: “I’m sorry, Jon.”
Me: “What are you sorry about, Dwayne? Your match was great out there!”
Dwayne: “No, I’m sorry about listening to Dad. I saw that Beefcake/Typhoon match out there tonight…that was brutal, Jon! I…I can’t believe I was the one who wanted to go with that!”
Me: “No, it’s not the end of the world, Dwayne.”
Dwayne: “No, it’s not. But it could have been the end of this promotion. You were right about how to treat things, and we really should have gone that way if we were gonna make a nice new start here. That’s not saying that Dad’s ideas are wrong, though. Bringing in some established names and having a veteran presence on our roster is a good idea, and one I feel strongly about. But this…this was not the time, or the place.”
Me: “So what exactly are you saying, Dwayne?”
Dwayne: “Basically, you’re free to get rid of them if, and when, you want to. After that turd of a match they put up tonight, I get the feeling that they won’t be missed all that much by the fans. And I’ll try and listen to you a little more on the personnel stuff, OK?”
Me: “It’s cool. Is your dad gonna be OK with all this? He was really mad last time I saw him over at the offices last week. I mean, he stormed out! Is he coming back, or what?”
Dwayne: “Yeah, he’ll be back with his tail between his legs. I’ll talk to him tonight and tell him what I saw out there. Basically, he’s gonna have a bit less to do with talent acquisition from now on. He’s still a voice, but in terms of having final say, you’re the man who gets to hire and fire. You two will be equals in terms of writing the show, but you’re the one buying the ingredients from now on unless I, or Tim, says so. Work for you?”
Me: “Yeah, Dwayne, that’s great. I really appreciate this, man. I promise that I won’t let you down."
So I finally had the authority to get rid of Beefcake and Typhoon. After a show like that, things are looking WAY up for HPW. If only the Rock could be there every month, things would be going even better. Here’s hoping that we keep the momentum going, and really do get the revolutionary aspect of HPW to be the focus of our shows. Vince McMahon might not be worried about us when we’re the #35 promotion in North America, but it won’t be too long until we’re #1.
-
SATURDAY, JUNE 12, 2004
HOLLYWOOD,CALIFORNIA
Rocky and I sat across from each other at a table, our faces both flushed. We’d been arguing over the course of an hour, with very little progress being made. Tim was trying to appear absorbed in some documents, but he was just listening in on our conversation, grinning slightly as we yelled at each other.
Me: “Rocky, I’m TELLING YOU that Brutus Beefcake vs. Typhoon is a guaranteed flop! I mean, did you see the segments from Novocaine they did? Beefcake’s interview was the worst segment of the night, and the matchwork in the tag match was the worst of the night as well! That match included the two best workers on our roster, London and Xstasy!”
Rocky: “You can’t expect it to work right away, Jon! The crowd needs to get involved with them!”
Me: “How is that gonna happen, Rocky? Neither of them can speak or wrestle! It’s hard to get ‘involved’ in a character when there’s no way to connect with them!”
Rocky: “Trust me on this! I guarantee you this is gonna work!”
Me: “No, it won’t! Rocky, this idea might sink this fed! We have to act fast if we’re gonna save things around here!”
Tim: Hey, guys..
Rocky: THAT’S IT! I’m out of here! Book this yourself, Jon! We’ll see what kind of crap you throw out there!”
With that, Rocky got up and stormed out of the room. Tim and I watched the door slam shut, and we both let out a sigh of relief as we turned to face each other.
Me: “So, Tim, what were you gonna say?”
Tim: “What? Oh, right. Well, this is the deal. I wanted to let you guys know that you actually turned a profit in May, making $26,460. I figured we’d up the advertising levels a bit, and hopefully we’ll bring in enough people to make up for the increase.”
Me: “Excellent, excellent. Now, another question: We lost Greg Pawluk this month when he was stolen by 3PW. Is it possible for us to work out written deals with a few other guys on our roster so we don’t lose everyone at once? We need to be able to build up a bit.”
Tim: “Well, based on what I’ve heard, everyone besides London, Xstasy, Beefcake, and Typhoon should be receptive to signing written deals, assuming that we’re willing to give them 1-year deals that pay enough to cover the rest of the money they could make off indy bookings.”
Me: “OK, that works for me. I’d like to get a few of them signed up, so I have your approval to do that, right?”
Tim: “It might cost us a bit more, but it’s a good hedge against future earnings loss, so I figure we can go for it. But only sign the ones you’re interested in having on every single show. You’re paying them whether they work or not, so make sure that you’ve got a use for all of these guys when you sign them up.”
Me: “Excellent, Tim. Now, since Rocky’s out of here, I got a show to book. Anything else I should know before I get working on that?”
Tim: “Well, there is one thing…”
Tim slipped a piece of paper across the table to me. I read the fax, then grinned a little bit. This was gonna make my job much easier for this show. Now I’ll show Rocky how to run this place.
---------------------------------------------------
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16, 2004
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
I was sitting at my desk, smiling at the finished card for Higher Ground. I was finally content with what I had worked out. This card was gonna be STACKED, with a surprising amount of what Rocky had suggested making the cut. The pre-made Beefcake/Typhoon match was going on, but I had a good main event all planned out that was sure to take care of any problems that were gonna linger from that sure-to-be abortion of a match. Plus, London and Xstasy were gonna go all-out in what I guessed was gonna be the only chance they got to go one-on-one, since the bigger feds were starting to circle around us like vultures. Add in a few other things, and this show looked good. The announced card was already circulating on the internet and on bulletin boards, so we were hoping for a good turnout at this show.
With Rocky disappearing for a week, a lot had gotten done. Although I couldn’t ink Xstasy or London to a written deal, which wasn’t all that surprising, I had managed to sign up a good deal of our talent to one-year deals. The people we had signed were:
- Austin Lee
- Dan “Rock Of” Gibraltar
- Fabulous Frederick
- Feltcher
- Lucien Van Wurl
It was an increase in costs, to be sure. However, it was definitely a necessary thing to do, since we didn’t want our entire roster picked clean. These guys were sure to stay on our roster for a long period of time now, and hopefully they’d be enough to build around.
As I prepared to close up the office, I heard a knock on the door. I looked up and saw Bruce Lancaster standing there, with a sheepish grin on his face
Bruce: “Hey, Jon, can I talk with you a bit?”
Me: “Sure thing, Bruce. Have a seat.”
Bruce got comfortable in the chair as I sat back down as well.
Me: “So, what’s happening, Bruce? Your reporting for KTTV working out well?” I reminded myself that we had bet on Lancaster only making it three shows…maybe he’s going out earlier than expected.
Bruce: “Well, no, not exactly. You see…I quit KTTV today.”
Me: “WHAT? You quit your job over at KTTV? Why?”
Bruce: “I fell in love with the business, Jon! Wrestling is a much better deal than television ever was! You can actually have fun with yourself out here! You can really break new ground, and that’s what I’ve always wanted to do! Basically, I want to stay in this business! So I was hoping…if it was cool with you, you know…would you be interested in signing a written deal with me? I wanna be here full-time, and since you were the ones who brought me into the wrestling world, I really feel like HPW is my home. I know you’ll take care of me, and I wanna stay here. So, can I sign with you?”
Me: “Well, of course you can, Bruce! You’ll still do Bruce’s Beat, right?”
Bruce: “Oh, of course! I love doing that segment! It’s a great way to get on the show and work my way into the flow. Still, there is one thing…”
Me: “What is it, Bruce?”
Bruce: “Well, I didn’t get to wrestle last show. I know I’m not very good yet, and I need a lot of practice, but can I get a match for the next show? I really do need the practice.”
Me: “Well, the card for Higher Ground is drawn up already…” I stopped, noticing the look on Bruce’s face. “…BUT I think I can squeeze you in there as a dark match to get the crowd pumped up! How’s that sound? We’ll wrestle you in a couple of those, and then you’ll be ready to get into the ring for real!”
Bruce: “Great, that works great! That’s…that’s great, Jon! Thank you so much! I promise you won’t have made a mistake with this one!”
I yanked out another contract and filled in the relevant details quickly, glad that I had picked up one extra at the Kinko’s yesterday. Bruce looked it over briefly, grinned, and signed his name to the contract.
Bruce: “That’s incredible...I’m a professional wrestler now…thank you, Jon.”
Me: “No problem, Bruce. I’ll see you Saturday, OK?”
Bruce: “No problem! I’ll see you then!” With that, Bruce got up with his copy of the contract and walked out of the room, whistling a happy tune to himself. I smiled as I filed his contract away with the rest of them, glad to add another worker to the HPW fold for the next year. Now once we get rid of Beefcake and Typhoon (and Rocky, I thought wistfully), this promotion would be ready to take off.
-
Posted: June 16, 2004
OFFICIAL~! Preview for HPW Higher Ground
HPW WORLD TITLE MATCH
Typhoon © vs. Brutus Beefcake
- This matchup has been brewing for decades between the two men, but this time, the HPW World Title is on the line! Will Brutus Beefcake finally get some revenge against Typhoon, or will Typhoon move to a perfect 3-0 against Brutus Beefcake? Find out as the HPW World Title is up for grabs!
BRUCE'S BEAT
This Month's Guest: Brutus Beefcake!
- Before the HPW World Title match, Bruce's Beat will host challenger Brutus Beefcake! The challenger is expected to talk to about his long career, and where this moment ranks with his greatest! Be sure to catch the entire story on Bruce's Beat!
HPW WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH
Paul London vs. Xstasy
- These two men have been upstaged on the last two shows by Typhoon and Brutus Beefcake, but at HPW Higher Ground, London and Xstasy will go toe-to-toe to determine the next man to get a shot at the HPW World Title! Both men are superb wrestlers, and this one promises to be an incredible match! Don't miss this high-flying match for the #1 Contendership!
SINGLES MATCH
Fabulous Frederick vs. Feltcher
- This is a rematch of the very first match in HPW history, as Feltcher looks to prove his worth in a matchup against the Fabulous Frederick! Will Frederick continue his impressive work so far and leave another man KO'ed on the mat, or will Feltcher find the key to victory?
A VICTORY CELEBRATION
Austin Lee Celebrates His 2-0 Performance @ HPW Novocaine!
- At HPW Novociaine last month, Austin Lee put on quite the performance, as he took down both Feltcher AND Dan "The Rock of" Gibraltar in the same night! Higher Ground will kick off with Austin Lee celebrating his night of victory, and setting the course for his future actions in HPW! What exactly will Lee have to say?
AND MORE!
Saturday, June 19, 2004!
Hollywood, California!
HPW HIGHER GROUND!
-
HPW NOVOCAINE
Sunday, May 30, 2004
LIVE from Hollywood, California!
The show opens with Austin Lee vs. Feltcher
The show begins with Lee already in the ring, waiting on the arrival of Feltcher. Suddenly, Feltcher leaps out of the crowd behind Lee and tiptoes up behind him. The crowd (121 people, slightly down from last show) still remembers what happened last time, and starts to laugh as Feltcher tiptoes up behind Lee. He taps him on the shoulder, then screams “BOO!” right in his face, which draws a huge laugh from the crowd. Feltcher starts dancing around the ring, delighted with his joke, as Austin Lee is FURIOUS over the debacle. He immediately sprints up and clotheslines Feltcher, knocking him down. Lee spends several minutes pounding away on Feltcher, but Feltcher makes a comeback. He hits a DDT on Lee, then heads to the second rope and nails a kneedrop for the 1, 2, kickout! Feltcher goes for another DDT, but Lee hits a Northern Lights suplex on Feltcher, and bridges for the 1, 2, 3! Austin Lee takes the match!
As Feltcher dances out of the ring, seemingly unbothered by his loss (he takes solace by blowing big kisses to the crowd through his mask), Lee starts yelling at the crowd, not even bothering to grab a microphone.
Lee: “You see this? DID YOU SEE THIS? This is the kind of crap I have to put up with here in the bush leagues! Thanks to the Rock and his goddamn idiocy of hiring RETARDS like that masked freak over there…"
Feltcher looks up from the crowd, mimes a tear, then goes back to blowing kisses to everyone, which just makes Lee even madder
Lee:“THAT FREAK shows what an idiot the Rock is! The man quit his job and started taking a job where he has to babysit freaks like that! And I, someone with a legitimate future, has to fight him! How am I supposed to get recruited when I’m fighting a skeleton blowing kisses and yelling ‘BOO!’? That’s IT! Rock, I know you’re not here tonight with your MOVIES and stuff. But next month, show your ass up and take me on in a match, one on one! I’ll show you the kind of people that you should be LUCKY to have in your federation!”
RATING:
CROWD: 35
MATCH: 68
OVERALL: 51
--------------------------------------
'Bruce's Beat', Featuring the Fabulous Frederick!
The Bruce’s Beat set is brought out again, followed soon after by Bruce Lancaster, being played out again by the KTTV News music. Lancaster takes his seat at the desk, shuffles his papers, and begins to introduce his guest for the evening.
Bruce: “Good evenings, and welcome to another edition of Bruce’s Beat, hosted by me, Bruce Lancaster! Tonight, we have a very special guest. He won his HPW debut last week against Feltcher, but this man has had many other victories in the squared circle before! Before joining the HPW family, he was an excellent heavyweight boxer, compiling a record of 34-5! Please allow me to introduce the Fabulous Frederick!”
With that, Frederick comes bouncing down the aisle, shadowboxing as he goes. As he enters the ring, he pulls his satin robe off and tosses it aside before taking a seat next to the Update News Desk. He gets himself comfortable as Bruce pulls out a small stack of index cards, ready to begin the interview.
Bruce: “Now, Mr. Frederick…”
Frederick: “Just call me Frederick. I’m a low key guy. None of that ‘Mr.’ stuff for me.”
Bruce: “OK, Frederick. Now, the biggest question on my mind is, why did you leave the lucrative world of boxing, where you were obviously a big success, to start all over here in the world of professional wrestling?”
Frederick: “Well Bruce, fighting had me worn out. I was tired of the six-month buildup to fights. I was tired of the whole boxing scene. And most importantly, I felt like I had gone as far as I was gonna go with boxing. But wrestling opened up a whole new world to me. It gave me a new field to improve in, one where I have almost unlimited potential!”
Bruce: “What makes you so confident you’ll be a success here in HPW? There are a lot of excellent competitors here, including yours truly!”
Frederick: “Not to take anything away from you, Bruce, but you have no combat experience whatsoever. You’re just a journalist. But me, on the other hand, I have a LOT of experience in combat. Not only that, but I have experience in an area that NO ONE ELSE in HPW has experience in! No one else here has a clue how to box! That puts me in the driver’s seat, Bruce! They have to adapt to my style, or else they’ll get burned! And you saw what I did against Feltcher last week, Bruce! I gave him the old left-right-uppercut combo, and he was down for the COUNT!”
Bruce: “You make some excellent points, Frederick! But do you think that in the end, you’ll be overmatched by people with years of experience in this business, such as the Rock, or our champion Typhoon, or Paul London?”
Frederick: “I’m in better shape than all of them, Bruce! I’m a training machine! They don’t know what it’s life to get pummeled in a boxing ring! They don’t know what it’s like to train for weeks and weeks and weeks just for one fight! Thanks to boxing, I have the physical edge, and the mental edge! When I get into the ring, no one, and I mean nobody, is gonna be able to touch me!”
Bruce: “Big words from the Fabulous Frederick! Thank you VERY much for your time, Frederick, and good luck in your match against GQ! I hear he can be quite the showstopper!”
Frederick: “The only thing that’s getting stopped tonight is him, Bruce. When he meets the big 1-2-3, he’ll be down for the count!”
Road Agent Notes: Bruce Lancaster gained 3 points of overness from this segment. Fabulous Frederick gained 2 points of overness from this segment.
RATING: 48
----------------------------------------------
Fabulous Frederick vs. GQ
The ring is cleared of the Bruce’s Beat set as Bruce Lancaster exits the ring. Frederick hops around the ring as he weaves around, avoiding imaginary punches as he shadowboxes some more. Finally, GQ comes down the aisle. He’s wearing a leather jacket, a pair of red tights with roses down the side, and a T-shirt that reads “I’m too sexy for this shirt!” He struts down the aisle, talking to a few of the women in attendance before sliding into the ring. He slips the T-shirt off, fulfilling the prophecy (this gets a shriek from a couple of the vocal female fans, as well as one VERY effeminate man in the audience) and squaring up with Frederick. The two face off, with Frederick immediately going for his punches. GQ manages to avoid them for a while, even hitting some big moves in the process. He manages to hit a big spinebuster off the ropes before heading for the top, looking to land what he calls the Ladykiller (a big Swanton bomb), but Frederick hits a HUGE uppercut on GQ as he tries to complete the move. GQ falls flat on his back, totally knocked out from the punch. Frederick gets up instead of pinning him, and watches as the referee counts to 10 before declaring the match over via knockout!
Road Agent Notes: GQ lost 1 point of overness from this match. Fabulous Frederick gained 3 points of overness from this match.
RATING:
CROWD: 31
MATCH: 61
OVERALL: 46
------------------------------------------
Dan Gibraltar Has A Bone To Pick
Dan Gibraltar comes charging out to the ring, with an angry glint in his eye. He seizes the one microphone from ringside, then begins to talk.
Gibraltar: “HELLO, Hollywood!”
He gets a small cheer from the skeptical crowd, which was smaller than what he had anticipated.
Gibraltar: “Now people, I’m out here tonight for a very, very specific reason. You see, there’s someone backstage who I’m not a particularly big fan of. Austin Lee, you feel the need to run your mouth every time you come out here about how much you deserve, and how much the Rock sucks! Well, guess what? The Rock DOES NOT SUCK! The Rock is the best man ever to set foot inside a wrestling ring in the HISTORY of this business, and for you to come out here and insult the decisions that man has made…it makes me sick to my stomach to hear it!”
The crowd has come around a bit, and Dan starts to get a little more confident on the mic as he continues his diatribe against Austin Lee.
Gibraltar: “Well, Lee, you know what? You’re right! The Rock ISN’T here tonight! But you know who IS here? The Rock…of GIBRALTAR!”
This gets a surprisingly good pop from the crowd, and the smile on Dan Gibraltar’s face is obviously genuine as he readies himself once again.
Gibraltar: “So Austin Lee, if you have the guts, I want to give you a little preview of what the Rock is going to do to you! If you’re man enough, me and you will fight….TONIGHT!”
Before the crowd can even react, Austin Lee comes out and starts to talk (once again, without the benefit of a microphone.
Lee: “YOU’RE the one upholding the honor of the Rock? YOU? Jesus Christ, this place has more wackos than I thought! But fine! You’re on! I’ve wrestled one wacko already tonight, and I won that match! The more the merrier! You can get into the ring with me, but all you’ll be SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALAing is the canvas when I’m done with you, asshole!”
Gibraltar: “You’re on, punk! But you can’t compete against me when I have the PEOPLE on my side!”
The people start to cheer for Dan, with a small “GI-BRAL-TAR! GI-BRAL-TAR!” chant starting up as Lee turns in disgust and walks to the back, once again muttering about all the wackos on the HPW roster.
Road Agent Notes: Austin Lee gained 1 point of overness from this segment. Dan "Rock Of" Gibralter gained 3 points of overness from this segment.
RATING: 53
------------------------------------------
Typhoon and Paul London vs. Brutus Beefcake and Xstasy
London and Xstasy start the match off for their teams, with London going right on the attack. He bludgeons away at Xstasy before hitting a big enziguri. He hits a missile dropkick off the top, then rolls over to his corner and tags in Typhoon, the HPW World Champion. Typhoon waddles over to Xstasy and immediately locks on a bearhug, crushing the high flyer in his grip. The hold lasts for a solid three minutes, which really kills the crowd as Xstasy struggles to escape. Finally, he bashes his way out with an elbow, hits a big kick to the side of the knee, then dives and hits a flying shoulder block on Typhoon. He rolls over to his corner and tags in Brutus Beefcake to a decidedly negative reaction. Beefcake and Typhoon start trading punches before Beefcake whips Typhoon into the corner and hits a series of punches on him. Beefcake tries to ram Typhoon’s head into the turnbuckle, but Typhoon reverses it before tagging in Paul London.
London launches himself over the top rope and hits a tornado DDT, which only gets a two count. London bounces off the ropes, trying for a clothesline, but Beefcake catches him with a DDT that plants London. He covers for the 1, 2, not quite as Typhoon breaks it up with a boot to Beefcake’s back. Beefcake yells at Typhoon, then tags in Xstasy. Xstasy gets to work on London before tossing him into the corner. Xstasy places London in a sitting position on the top rope and goes for a Frankensteiner, but London catches him and his a HUGE sitout powerbomb off the top rope, which gets a small “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant from the crowd. London holds on for the pin, and the 1, 2, NO! as Beefcake breaks it up. London jumps up and goes over Beefcake in the corner, with Typhoon sneaking into the ring and punching away at Xstasy. The ref finally restores order, and London tags in Typhoon.
Typhoon goes after Xstasy and throws him into the corner before starting to choke him with his boot. The ref goes for the five count, and Typhoon stops JUST in the nick of time. He keeps Xstasy grounded, slamming away at the high-flying superstar, until Xstasy manages to block a punch and nail an armdrag on Typhoon. He kips up and nails Typhoon with a dropkick before reaching over and tagging in Brutus Beefcake! London charges the ring, drawing the ref’s attention, giving Typhoon the opportunity to nail the fresh Beefcake with a HUGE low blow! London immediately runs over and drags Xstasy off the apron as Typhoon rolls Beefcake up for the pinfall. The ref, noticing what’s happening, drops back into position and gets the 1, 2, 3! for the pinfall! As Typhoon grabs his belt and waddles off smiling, Beefcake can be seen in the ring, looking extremely upset.
Road Agent Notes: Brutus Beefcake didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating.
RATING:
CROWD: 47
MATCH: 54
OVERALL: 50
----------------------------------------------
Brutus Beefcake Has A Challenge
Typhoon can’t escape to the back, however, before Brutus Beefcake gets his hands on the microphone.
Brutus: “TYPHOON! Don’t you think of going ANYWHERE!”
The command stops Typhoon in his tracks (although, to be honest, he looks thankful for the opportunity to have a breather), and the champion listens to Brutus Beefcake in the ring.
Brutus: “That title should have been MINE last month at Kick Start! And now here you go, cheating to win here! I want my shot at the belt! So unless you’re too afraid of me, then you’ll take me on at next month’s event, HPW Higher Ground, for the HPW World Title! What do you say, Typhoon? You and me, one on one!”
The crowd seems less than thrilled with the prospect of a Brutus Beefcake vs, Typhoon match main eventing the next show, but Typhoon doesn’t react at all to the small chorus of boos from the crowd. He points to Beefcake, then yells, “YOU’RE ON!” at him, which gets a small pop to counteract the boos of the crowd. Jack Douglas, the announcer, starts hyping the World Title match for next month at HPW Higher Ground on June 19th.
RATING: 41
-------------------------------------------------
Lucien Van Wurl Talks
As the chaos at ringside finally settles down, Lucien Van Wurl comes striding out through the entranceway with his own microphone in hand. However, his microphone is obviously one he owns personally, as it’s shaped like a paintbrush, with a tip of blue at the top. The crowd is silent as Van Wurl enters, still unsure of what to think about Lucien Van Wurl.
Lucien: “People have as-KED me over the last few weeks, ‘Why did you do it, Lucien Van Wurl? Why have you left the world of avant-garde art, where you are so rever-ED, to become a greasy wrestler? Why have you so sulli-ED such a beautiful canvas of work? Why?”
Lucien: “Well, people do not understand this quite yet: To truly be seen as an immortal ar-TIST, you must take chances! You must go beyond the boundaries that anyone has dar-ED to step past! And professional wrestling…it is an untouch-ED piece of art, a place where stories that humanity has never dar-ED to utter may spring forth and unfold themselves in the presence of those who have never comprehen-DED what art truly is!”
The crowd, just now starting to pick up on the fact that Lucien looks down on them, is starting to boo. The boos seem to bring a small smirk to Van Wurl’s face, and he pauses for a second to allow the boos to completely die out before continuing onwards.
Lucien: “This, however, was what I expec-TED to be met with! For those who cannot understand are most likely to reject anything which they consider to be too ‘cultu-RED” for them! But you people, you shall be the blank canvas for my masterpiece! When I have finish-ED with what has already commenc-ED, then you shall realize my true brilliance, the brilliance which only I am aware of right now! For together, we are intertwin-ED, with our futures and fates so closely link-ED that it is seemingly destiny for us to have arriv-ED together here in Hollywood Pro Wrestling! For when I am done…Lucien Van Wurl is a name that shall never be forgotten.”
Road Agent Notes: Lucien Van Wurl gained 3 points of overness from this segment.
RATING: 61
---------------------------------------------------
Austin Lee vs. Dan Gibraltar
Dan Gibraltar is the first to enter, with a mask of extreme seriousness on his face. He gets good applause as he celebrates before the match, climbing the turnbuckle and posing in the exact same manner that the Rock does. Austin Lee comes out next, looking slightly tired but ready to fight once again. Lee and Gibraltar lock up to start, and Gibraltar overpowers him. Lee rolls up and watches as “The Rock of Gibraltar” poses before taking Dan down with a shoulder block. The two men roll around on the ground, throwing punches, before Lee gets the upper hand and locks on a headlock. He brings it to a stand, then gets pushed off by Gibraltar. Lee bounces off the ropes and springs forward, hitting a flying forearm and covering for a 1, 2, kickout by Gibraltar.
Lee continues to push hard, locking a rear sleeper on Gibraltar to keep from expending too much energy. Lee, however, is soon overpowered by Gibraltar, who pulls Lee over his shoulder and slams him to the ground in front of him. He scoops Lee up and hits him with a big sit-out powerbomb that has Lee knocked silly. Instead of covering, Gibraltar gets to his feet, signals for the People’s Elbow, then starts to sprint across the ring. Gibraltar drops the elbow….right onto empty canvas, as Lee has rolled out of the way. Lee sprints across the ring and hits a picture-perfect dropkick, sending Gibraltar into the corner. Lee charges Gibraltar, who ducks underneath Lee and tosses him up onto the top rope. Lee keeps his balance however, and hits a corkscrew plancha onto Gibraltar for a 1, 2, KICKOUT JUST IN TIME as Dan JUST got a shoulder up.
Lee, obviously frustrated and quickly tiring, goes for another sleeper, but Gibraltar elbows out of it quickly and goes for a DDT. Lee tries to reverse it into another Northern Lights suplex, as he did against Feltcher earlier, but Gibraltar is too strong and blocks the suplex. Instead, he lifts Lee up and hits a big stalling vertical suplex. Lee gets up quickly, but runs right into a Samoan drop from Gibraltar. Lee staggers to his feet, and Gibraltar calls for the Rock Bottom, which draws a big cheer from the fans. He grabs Lee and lifts him up, but Lee reverses it into a HUGE, HUGE DDT that plants Gibraltar. Lee covers Gibraltar and gets his feet up on the ropes as the referee counts for the 1, 2, 3 that wins the match for Austin Lee! The crowd is angry, booing Lee as he leaves the ring, yelling “2-0! 2-0! Check THAT out!” to the crowd and Gibraltar as he disappears behind the curtains, ending the show.
RATING:
CROWD: 36
MATCH: 74
OVERALL: 55
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OVERALL RATING: 51% (no Rock = bad, apparently)
ATTENDANCE: HPW Novocaine was attended by 123 people!
We made $2460 from ticket sales.
-
You know, this might just end up falling into the "so bad, it's good" category. I dunno if I'll like it, but I at least need to see one show to find out exactly what the heck is going on with this thing.
-
OFFICIAL~! Preview for HPW Novacaine
TAG TEAM MATCH
Typhoon and Paul London vs. Brutus Beefcake and Xstasy
- Will Beefcake and Xstasy get revenge on Typhoon for the World Title match last week where Typhoon emerged champion? How will Paul London work with a man whom he too battled against last week? Attend the show and find out!
Austin Lee vs. Feltcher
- Will Austin Lee continue to rail against HPW in his desire to make it to the big leagues? He'll have his first in-ring test in HPW when he takes on the man behind the mask, Feltcher!
Fabulous Frederick vs. GQ
- Last week, Frederick made a thunderous debut when he KO'ed Feltcher! Will he keep the punches flying against GQ, who has declared himself the 'ultimate ladies' man'?
Bruce's Beat feat. Fabulous Frederick
- Bruce's Beat got off to a rousing start last week when he interviewed Lucien Van Wurl! Now, Bruce Lancaster hosts former boxer, the Fabulous Frederick, at the Update Desk! Find out what Frederick has to say on his conversion to professional wrestling!
AND MORE!
Sunday, May 30, 2004
HPW NOVOCAINE!
-
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 2004
The meeting on the 11th went horribly again. Rocky and I obviously didn’t agree at all on how to run the promotion. We had one feud that we both agreed on, and Dwayne signed off on that, but the World Title scene was a total clusterfuck. I was pushing hard for London to be the first champ. I thought he’d make a great guy to headline, since he’d put on good matches, be in sharp contrast to the rest of the fed, and really give himself a chance to make an impact early on. Plus, he was young and had limitless potential. Meanwhile, Rocky thought the way to go was to give it to Beefcake or Typhoon. He wanted the belt to have a “veteran influence”, and he thought that London and Xstasy would learn a thing or two about wrestling from him. I had to pinch myself to make sure he had really said that: He thought that PAUL LONDON needed to learn about wrestling from TYPHOON! Still, it was hard to tell where we were gonna go from here. Dwayne said he’d make a decision on this one, and he wouldn’t make it until the day of the show.
On the day of the show, I didn’t see Dwayne at all backstage. With about 10 minutes to go before the show went on the air, his limo came screeching up to the door of the tiny little building we had rented out, and Dwayne came sprinting out, dressed in full wrestling attire.
“Dwayne, why are you in your gear? Are you wrestling tonight?” I asked, extremely confused by the situation. “And what’s the deal with the World Title? Are we gonna with London or Typhoon? Or did you want Xstasy or Brutus to hold it?”
Dwayne flew right by me, barely stopping to talk. “Not wrestling, Jon, but I wanted to be all geared up tonight. And I’ll explain the World Title thing later. Right now, I’m gonna go get that crowd warmed up. See ya in a bit, Jon!”
And just like that, HPW was live and running.
HPW KICK START
SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 2004
The Rock Introduces The World To HPW
IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
The Rock’s music (apparently that was purchased from the WWE as well) hits over the speaker system as Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, heads out to the ring. The small crowd (only 126 people…I thought our first show might draw more attention) is nonetheless going nuts for the Rock as he slides into the ring with a microphone.
Rock: “FINALLY…The Rock HAS COME BACK…to HOL-LY-WOOD!” This gets a huge pop from the 126 people in the crowd, and brings a smile to the Rock’s face. A small “ROCKY! ROCKY!” chant pops up in the crowd, and the Rock acknowledges it with a smile, allowing it to burn itself out before he continues on,
Rock: “Welcome to a new era in professional wrestling! Because TONIGHT is the night that Vince McMahon’s WWE empire starts to crumble! Tonight is the night that we show the world the RIGHT way to build a wrestling organization!”
The crowd cheers again, and Rock pauses, seemingly deep in thought. However, he pulls himself out of his trance and goes back into his long-awaited speech.
Rock: “For here, in this small little arena in Hollywood, California…” The Rock pauses for a moment and allows for the cheap pop, which the fans immediately give him, then goes right back into gear. “…tonight, here in Hollywood, history will be made! For the Rock is going to show everyone else in this business that it’s not about twists and turns. No, no, no, that’s not the main goal of a wrestling organization. Sure, they’re nice. The Rock admits that: They can be very nice. But they are NOT the way that the Rock is going to run his wrestling organization!”
The crowd has gone quieter, as they want to hear exactly where The Rock is going with this. However, they still pop when Rock takes a break, right on cue. Damn, it really is amazing to watch Dwayne work a crowd like this…
Rock: “Twists and turns are not the way to do it! What about pure wrestling? Nothing but wrestling! Is THAT the way to run a federation? NO!” The crowd is silent now, stunned by the Rock’s response. He quickly goes to explain himself: “Now now now, don’t get the Rock wrong. The Rock LOVES wrestling! It’s what the show boils down to! Pure wrestling can be very good, but the Rock wants to make this very clear: Wrestling is good, but it can only become GREAT when you care about the people in the match!
Look at Mick Foley! The man wasn’t a bad wrestler by any stretch of the imagination! However, Mick Foley became the star he is today not by his matches. There are a LOT of people who throw themselves off ladders and take crazy bumps! But what Mick Foley did was make you care about WHY he took those bumps! He made you care about his safety, his personal life, and everything that happened while he was out in front of a crowd! Mick Foley was at his best when the fans connected with him, understood him, and wanted to see him win because he was the better man! And no matter how many holds and moves some people might know, it doesn’t mean JACK SQUAT unless the people out there care about how you use each and every one of them!”
The crowd has gotten back into it as the Rock has upped the intensity, with the Mick Foley story obviously getting him emotionally invested in his promo.
Rock: “THAT is what we will do here in Hollywood Pro Wrestling! HPW doesn’t want wrestlers! It doesn’t want shock artists! And it damn sure doesn’t want Vince McMahon’s handprints all over it! HPW wants STORYTELLERS! HPW wants men who can go out, tell a story to the people, and then get into the ring and do the exact same thing! And tonight, the revolution BEGINS! Tonight is the night that HPW is put on the MAP! Thank you all for coming, and the Rock thanks each and every one of you for knowing, along with me, how wrestling should be done.”
The Rock drops his mic and heads to the back to a rather small pop. Suddenly, he slips back into the ring, picks up his mic, and says what everyone was waiting to hear:
Rock: “IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL……WHAT THE ROCK….IS…..COOKIN’!”
Road Agent Notes: The Rock debuted his new gimmick (Unique), it got a positive response.
RATING: 100 (I knew we should have counted this as part of the show)
Fabulous Frederick vs. Feltcher
If this is what the Rock was waxing poetic about, I’m not sure that this was the way to go. We start this one off with the debuts of Feltcher and Fabulous Frederick. Frederick was the first one out. He came out in a satin boxing robe, with the hood pulled down over his face, and with blaring techno music in the background. He got into the ring as our announcer, Jack Douglas, introduced him as a successful boxer who wanted to prove he could dominate in all rings. As he celebrates in the ring, Feltcher comes running down to the ring without any music. He slides into the ring, tiptoes up behind Frederick, and taps him on the shoulder. Frederick turns around, and Feltcher yells “BOO!” as loud as he can, then doubles over laughing. The crowd looks on, amused, but Frederick seems far less interested. He swings out and catches Feltcher with a huge right cross that sends Feltcher flying. The rest of the match goes on like that, with Frederick pounding Feltcher all over the ring with brutal punching combinations. Feltcher starts to get a little offense going towards the end of the match, hitting a DDT, but as he hops up, so does Frederick. Frederick hits a right-left combo to the jaw, then finishes with a BRUTAL uppercut that sends Feltcher about four inches off the canvas before slamming back down to earth. Frederick covers for the 1-2-3, which draws a little heat from the crowd. And thus began the revolution.
Road Agent Notes: Fabulous Frederick debuted his new gimmick (Dual-Sport Athlete), it got a negative response. Feltcher debuted his new gimmick (Weirdo), it got a positive response.
RATINGS:
CROWD: 27
MATCH: 61
OVERALL: 44
Bruce's Beat Has Its Series Premiere
As both men head to the back, the small crew we’ve assembled (which is augmented by the wrestlers from backstage) haul out a desk and a backdrop to the middle of the ring. As a couple of chairs are set up, the music for KTTV, the local Fox affiliate, hits, which sends Bruce Lancaster walking down the aisle, dressed in his suit and tie, but with a pair of wrestling tights on his lower half. He takes a seat at the desk and clears his throat briefly before reading off the papers in front of him.
Bruce: “Good evening, I’m Bruce Lancaster. Tonight, we here at HPW welcome you to the first edition of what is sure to be one of the most interesting weekly segments on our program. Every month, I’ll be interviewing a member of the HPW roster in order for YOU, the public at home, to get to know the wonderful members of our HPW team, including myself, Bruce Lancaster! I bring to you: Bruce’s Beat!”
Bruce pauses and puts on his best newscaster smile, pausing for exactly 3 seconds (3 seconds of silence, I note) before he continues on.
Bruce: “Tonight, the first man to appear on Bruce’s Beat is a man who has accomplished a lot throughout his career, but not in the wrestling world. He was a famous artist in the Los Angeles avant-garde community, and has now joined HPW! Why has he come to HPW? Let’s find out! I’d like to welcome…Lucien Van Wurl!”
Some generic artsy-sounding music hits and Lucien appears from behind the screen. He’s shirtless, showing off his fairly muscular (but VERY pale) chest, and is wearing tights with splotches of paint all over them. He walks rigidly down the ramp and slides into the ring, taking a seat next to Bruce’s desk.
Bruce: "So, Lucien…"
Lucien: “NO! You must call me Lucien Van Wurl! That name was carefully craf-TED over many months, so that it shall flow together, much as the mighty Nile has flow-ED through Egypt for so many years!”
The accent that Lucien is using, which sounds vaguely like an Eastern European accent, seems to have Bruce thrown for a loop, as he visibly reacts to every over-pronunciation.
Bruce: "OK…Lucien Van Wurl, first things first: As a famed avant-garde artist who is supposedly worth millions of dollars, why would you feel the need to move onto the wrestling world?”
Lucien: “It is very, very easy to explain the reasons for the actions I have undertaken, Mr. Lancas-TER. For you see, wrestling is a form where many things can be express-ED.” “The world of wrestling…it allows for so much more freedom, so that the dedica-TED artist can take ahold of the world, and simply mold it to every whim…every fantasy….every vision that he hath consider-ED in his head. For here, the ability for perfection in art and in record is so tempting, tantalizing, that the story must be crea-TED!”
Bruce: “Mr. Van Wurl…”
Lucien: “LUCIEN VAN WURL!”
Bruce: “Lucien Van Wurl, you said you were from the Los Angeles area…yet your accent is quite foreign. I can’t quite place it…where did you get your accent from?”
Lucien: “The ori-GIN of my accent is unimportant to you, Mr. Lancas-TER! My past, it is not important either! For today, this very day, is the beginning of the new movement of Lucien Van Wurl. When Lucien Van Wurl is done, he will have pro-VED that he has taken art in a direction so daring that none can be compare-ED to me!”
Bruce: “Well…thank you for your time, Mr. Van Wurl.”
Lucien: “LUCIEN VAN WURL IS MY NAME! Fortunately, Lucien Van Wurl has been given the opportunity to destroy you and another unnam-ED opponent! Soon, Mr. Lancaster, you shall learn why Lucien Van Wurl is a man to be fear-ED!”
Road Agent Notes: Bruce Lancaster debuted his new gimmick (Journalist), it got a positive response. Lucien Van Wurl debuted his new gimmick (Pretentious Artist), it got a positive response. Bruce Lancaster gained overness from this segment. Lucien Van Wurl gained overness from this segment.
RATING: 55
Lucien Van Wurl vs. Bruce Lancaster vs. Greg Pawluk
Lucien Van Wurl immediately attacks Bruce, jumping over the desk to get at him. Bruce, not even having a chance to get his coat and tie off, starts fighting back. The two brawl in the ring as they clear the desk and backdrop out. As Lucien and Bruce fought all over the ring, Greg Pawluk trotted out from the back. He got to the outside of the ring, and looked in. He hesitated for a while, and looked extremely worried until the referee came down to the ring and ordered Pawluk in. Pawluk tried to beg out, saying he didn’t want to interrupt, but the referee forced him in. Once he got into the ring, he went right on the offensive and started SCHOOLING Lucien and Lancaster (not surprising, since he’s fighting an artist and a journalist). After dismantling them, Pawluk went to hit his finisher on Lancaster. He nailed the move (a nice Roll The Dice) on Lancaster, but was immediately shoved out of the ring by Van Wurl, who then covered Lancaster for the 1,2,3 before the surprised Pawluk could work his way back into the ring.
Road Agent Notes: Greg Pawluk debuted his new gimmick (Loner), it got a positive response.
RATINGS:
CROWD: 24
MATCH: 75
OVERALL: 49
Segment 4: Austin Lee Threatens The Rock, Disses HPW
Austin Lee comes walking down the aisle, with a microphone already in hand.
Austin: “Hey, idiots, listen up. I got some things to say, and you AREN’T gonna get another chance to listen.” The crowd immediately boos, which simply plays right to Lee: “Hey, feel free to boo me. I don’t give a crap about you people. I don’t give a crap about each and every HPW fan! And do you know WHY I don’t care about the HPW fans? Because you were stupid enough to come see this damn show!”
The fans boo, but are obviously confused by Lee’s seemingly misplaced rant.
Austin: “What a shock, you people don’t get it. Well, let me spell some things out for you VERY, VERY CLEARLY in this NICE SLOW VOICE!” He slows down even further, which has the crowd extremely mad. “Have you idiots heard of the W-W-E? WWE? Does that ring a bell, retards?” Lee ditches the slow speak, going back to his fairly rapid (and fairly obnoxious) tone of voice. “Well, you see, that’s where I should be! A man of my talents shouldn’t be stuck doing a show in some crappy high school gym in Hollywood! I should be in Madison Square Garden, in the Silverdome, in the Skydome, the Fleetcenter, the big arenas around the country! But for whatever reason, I don’t work for them, and I’m stuck here trying to support myself taking these pathetic bush-league jobs!”
Austin gets booed hard by the fans, but he doesn’t really seem to notice. He’s quite riled up (probably adding a little bit of realism to this one, I guess), and just moves on.
Austin: “Well, guess what? I’m not gonna be an idiot like the Rock! I mean seriously, who gets to the top of the world and then WILLINGLY takes a job in a total SHITHOLE like this? You’d have to be borderline retarded to want to come back to this stage of your career! I guess Rock really isn’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, if you get my drift. Anyways, I’m not gonna follow in that idiot’s footsteps. I’m gonna get out of this crappy fed one way or another, and I’m gonna make my way straight to the big bucks of the WWE! So I have to find my way out of here. And I think I know EXACTLY how I’m gonna do it. You idiots will have to figure it out for yourselves, though….I won’t be waiting up.”
With that, Lee throws down his microphone and storms out of the ring, seemingly in a worse mood than when he entered. He gets the most boos of the night so far (repeatedly insulting the audience will do that) as he walks to the back.
Road Agent Notes: Austin Lee debuted his new gimmick (Obnoxious), it got a positive response. Austin Lee gained overness from this segment.
RATING: 65
Segment 5: The Rock Meets Dan Gibraltar
Backstage, the Rock is looking amused as he watches Lee on a small closed-circuit monitor from our one small camera. “That jabroni doesn’t know how good he’s got it…” says the Rock to himself in a small voice before a finger taps him on the shoulder. The Rock turns around and finds a rather tall, large man standing right behind him.
Dan Gibraltar: “Excuse me, Mr. Rock sir…”
Rock: “Who the hell are you? Did you bring the Rock’s Chinese food? Where’s the crab Rangoon?”
Gibraltar: “No, sir. I’m one of your employees, Dan Gibraltar.”
The Rock softens his facial expression a bit, and even shakes the kid’s hand.
Rock: “Well, good to meet you, kid. Dan Gibraltar, huh?”
Gibraltar: “Yes, sir! I’m your biggest fan! I’ve been a huge fan since you were the Blue Chipper, way back! You were always my favorite wrestler, and now I get to work in the same promotion as you…this is like a dream come true!”
Rock: “Well, the Rock is glad to hear that he’s got another good fan.”
Gibraltar: “I never would have gotten into wrestling if it wasn’t for you, Rock! I even named myself after you!”
Rock: (confused) “How the HELL is ‘Dan Gi-whatchamacallit’ a tribute to the Rock? Are you smoking something, kid?”
Gibraltar: “No, no! You see, my name is Dan Gibraltar. When you think of Gibraltar, what do you think of? The ROCK of Gibraltar! So my full wrestling name is Dan ‘Rock of’ Gibraltar!”
The Rock, suddenly very wary of the kid, nods slowly, with a half-smile on his face. Meanwhile, a huge smile is plastered on Dan’s face as he stares right into the face of the Rock, stuck with hero worship.
Rock: “Well, you know what? The Rock really appreciates that. So you know what? The Rock is gonna let you do him a little favor? What do ya think of that, Dan Gibraltar?”
Dan: “Do you mean it? Of course! What is it?”
Rock: “You weren’t the Rock’s Chinese food delivery. So I want you to go find out where the hell the Rock’s Chinese food is. The Rock is hungry, and some of that Moo Goo Gai Pan would really the spot right now. Sound good to you, kid?”
Dan: “Yes sir! I’ll be right back!”
Gibraltar goes sprinting off backstage, pushing a staffer out of the way as he yells out, “WHERE’S THE CHINESE FOOD? I NEED THE ROCK’S CHINESE FOOD!” The Rock just chuckles to himself, then turns back to the closed-circuit monitor, still waiting on the next match.
Road Agent Notes: Dan "Rock Of" Gibralter debuted his new gimmick (Obsessed Fan), it got a positive response. The Rock lost overness from this segment. Dan "Rock Of" Gibralter gained overness from this segment.
RATING: 77
Enygma vs. Chance Beckett
The match starts with Chance Beckett coming out and waiting in the ring for Enygma. Enygma’s music hits, and he comes out, looking VERY VERY happy to be out there. He shakes fans with everyone in the audience, visibly irritating Chance as he waits to get the match started. Suddenly, as Enygma is finishing shaking hands, he looks up, with a fury in his eyes. He roughly yanks his hand out of the crowd and sprints into the ring, pounding away on Beckett. Beckett was caught off-guard, and spends the first half of the match trying to regain some composure as Enygma simply pounds the hell out of him. After a while, the battle becomes pretty neutral, with the two men pounding away on each other. Beckett slams Enygma’s head into the turnbuckle and dumps him over the rope. Enygma gets up, with the giant smile from earlier back on his face, and starts shaking hands with the rest of the crowd. The referee starts counting to 10 as Beckett just looks on in disbelief, having no clue what he just saw. Eventually, the referee counts to 10 and declares the match over. Enygma is jolted back to attention when he hears the ring bell, and starts to go insane as Beckett slips out of the ring quietly, trying not to draw attention. Enygma shoves the ref and throws a mini-tantrum in the middle of the ring as Beckett disappears backstage.
Road Agent Notes: Enygma debuted his new gimmick (Split Personality), it got a neutral response.
RATINGS:
CROWD: 34
MATCH: 72
OVERALL: 53
Brutus Beefcake Takes The Mic
Finally, after Enygma has calmed down and left, Brutus Beefcake hits the ring (with his old skool WWF music playing in the background). The fans give him a small pop as Jack Douglas, the announcer, introduces him, but there are some definite chuckles as the near-senior citizen gets on the microphone.
Brutus: "Hello, HPW! It’s good to be here tonight!"
He gets a small pop in response, which he takes as encouragement, launching into his speech with a new aggressiveness.
Brutus: "I’m glad to see that all the Brutus Beefcake fans have shown up here to cheer me on! Because next, I’ll be competing in the MAIN EVENT for the brand-new HPW World Title!”
This comment gets some groans from the crowd, which causes a small grin to spread over my face. I look across the room to where Rocky is standing, but he doesn’t seem to notice the negative crowd reaction.
Brutus: "And tonight, I’ll be competing against not one, not two, but THREE men! I’ll be taking on the high-flyer Xstasy, the young technical marvel Paul London..." (this gets a pop, as it appears there are more than a few Paul London fans in the crowd…PLEASE, Dwayne, let him win this one), "...and one other man. This man is one of my most dastardly foes, and will surely take all of my power to defeat: Typhoon!"
The crowd tries to boo, but the majority of the crowd is either silent or laughing. Beefcake seems to notice that he’s losing them, and starts to wrap things up before they really go wrong.
Brutus: "But don’t you people worry! Typhoon, Xstasy, and London will have to go through me, Brutus Beefcake himself, in order to win the HPW World Title! And I promise each and every fan in this building that I will be the one to bring the title home, and I’m going to do it for each and every one of YOU!” He points to the crowd for emphasis, which does end up getting a pop. “Now wish me luck, folks! It’s time to become champion!”
God, I hope not…
Road Agent Notes: Brutus Beefcake debuted his new gimmick (Old School Face), it got a positive response.
RATING: 48
Brutus Beefcake vs. Paul London vs. Xstasy vs. Typhoon
With Brutus Beefcake in the ring, the first man to enter is Paul London. Beefcake relaxes in a corner, waiting for the other two men to enter, but London immediately attacks him, bringing the fight early. London pounds away on Beefcake in the corner as Xstasy enters next, with extremely loud music blaring in the background. He jumps onto the ring apron, hops onto the top rope, and takes both London and Brutus down with a flying cross-body block. All three men hop up after the impact and start brawling again as the last man to enter, Typhoon, comes walking down the aisle. Actually, it’s more like waddling down the aisle (GOD, he’s fat!), but eventually Typhoon gets there and gets into the ring. He pulls Xstasy off of London and Beefcake and starts pounding away on him as London and Brutus are still trading punches.
The match goes on as Xstasy gets the upper hand on Typhoon, reversing a powerbomb into a sunset flip for a two count, broken up by a London dropkick. London goes to work on Xstasy while Brutus Beefcake picks up Typhoon and locks on the sleeper hold, which gets a pop from the three people who recognize it as his finisher. London breaks free from Xstasy and dropkicks Beefcake in the back. Beefcake releases the hold on Typhoon, who stumbles forward into Xstasy and is immediately met with a spinning heel kick, which only gets two. Meanwhile, London plants Beefcake with a reverse DDT, which also gets two.
London looks up to see Xstasy hit a HUGE 450 SPLASH off the top onto Typhoon. He gets dragged off after a two count by London, and the two men start brawling. Beefcake once again slips over and covers Typhoon himself for two, but Typhoon manages to get one of his fat shoulders off the canvas in time. Xstasy plants London with a spinebuster off the ropes, then flies off the second turnbuckle, trying for a crossbody on Beefcake, Brutus catches him and delivers a fallaway slam to Xstasy, but immediately walks into a HUGE DDT from Typhoon! Typhoon covers for the 1, 2, 3 for the win just as Xstasy and London both fly in to break up it just a LITTLE too late! Typhoon is the first HPW World Champion!
Road Agent Notes: Typhoon debuted his new gimmick, it got a positive response. The HPW World Heavyweight title has gained in image.
RATINGS:
CROWD: 44
MATCH: 66
OVERALL: 55
"Overall, the show did a 55% rating, which would have been a lot higher if we had put Dwayne's opening interview out as part of the show. Still, we could have been a LOT higher if we had put on a better main event...one WITHOUT Beefcake and Typhoon stinking up the ring!" I said with a sharp edge to my voice. "Dwayne, why did you listen to your father? We could have had a great main event without those two in there!"
Dwayne: "Trust me on this one, Jon. I mean, the crowd rating was definitely the highest for the main event, so not EVERYONE disliked it. And what's the harm in putting the belt on the guy?"
"The harm is that he's old, can't wrestle, and can't talk! I mean, Beefcake became a non-wrestler after the show! Sure, he can still do some events for us, but he and Typhoon are OLD, Dwayne! It's not a good strategy for us to put the belt on someone that old, and to be frank, that BAD!"
Dwayne: "Don't worry, Jon. If Typhoon doesn't work out, we'll move the belt along to someone else. But for now, Typhoon's champ. You and dad need to get together and figure out what's gonna go down at the next show. Lemme know your plans. Now I gotta get to Vancouver. We're on location up there. See you in a month!"
Dwayne went racing off, and I sat back down, stewing over the decision. Some new, cutting-edge fed this was turning out to be.
-
FRIDAY, MARCH 19, 2004
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA
I looked down at the sheet of paper Dwayne had faxed me the night before as I pulled into the office complex just off the main drag. I swerved into the spot, leaving the rental at a sharp angle. Still, after scanning the area I realized it might be the best job in the entire lot. Seriously, people on the West Coast need to learn how to drive. I cursed as I nearly backed into a car that was hardly even in its space, then headed for the door and entered the building.
Even though it was only March, the ice-cool air conditioning of the building hit me and I shuddered reflexively as I walked towards the front desk. She told me that Dwayne and Rocky were waiting in the offices they had rented for the building up on the fourth floor. I took the elevator up and walked down the hall, taking note of the HPW banner that already decorated the wall. Man, Dwayne really wasn’t wasting any time with this. I scanned the offices, then heard Dwayne’s extremely distinctive (read: loud) laugh coming from behind a set of double doors down the hall. I knocked on the door, then immediately slipped into the room.
I looked around and saw Dwayne sitting at the head of a table. He had a broad grin plastered across his face as always, and his feet were up on the desk. He looked right at home, and gestured for me to sit down. I sat down across from his father, Rocky Johnson. He was still talking to his son, and it gave me a chance to look him over. Even though he had gotten older, he was still an impressive size. There was a bit of a gut starting to form, but he was in MUCH better shape than most men his age were. He didn’t have the same twinkle in his eye that Dwayne did (I guess that came from his mom’s side), but there was a definite intelligence to him. I knew he knew the business front to back from previous conversations I had had with him, and I was kinda intimidated knowing I’d be working with the guy. Still, I had faith in myself too. I was a student of the game, despite the fact that I’d never wrestled in my life, and I was sure that I’d make a hell of a booker. But if I…
“Yo, Jon, you ready to get this thing started?” asked Dwayne, knocking me back into reality. I looked over and saw both Dwayne and Rocky looking back at me with bemused expressions on their faces. I blushed a little bit, embarrassed to be caught daydreaming, and grabbed my papers. Dwayne got his things together, but before he spoke again, I noticed something.
“Hey, Dwayne, where’s Tim? Wasn’t he supposed to be here?”
“Oh, don’t worry about Tim, he’ll be here soon enough” said Dwayne, brushing the concern aside. “The first things I wanted to deal with don’t concern him anyways. Now, Dad, you know Jon, and Jon, you know Dad. You guys are the ones in charge, so you have a lot of work to do together. Hope you’re ready for a lot of late nights.”
Rocky reached his hand across the table, and I stretched out to shake his hand. His hand crushed mine, and I tried to shrug it off, even though I’m sure that Rocky noticed the look on my face and smiled just a little bit. We sat back down, and Rocky said, “Good to see you again, Jon. Looks like you’ve slimmed down a bit since your Miami days, huh?” I had indeed slimmed down, as I was a solid 25 pounds lighter than I had been during my time at WR with the Hurricanes. “Anyways, great to see you again. This is gonna be a lotta fun working together like this.” I gave him a polite nod, and we both turned to Dwayne, ready to get things going.
“All right, guys. Here’s what we know so far.” Dwayne pushed a button on a remote, and a projection screen slid along the wall behind him. He pressed it again, and a projector on the ceiling fired up, displaying a large graphic behind him with a lot of data. “Now, as you can see, you’re going to have a VERY substantial budget. I’ve got the money to throw around, and I don’t want this thing going belly-up right away. For a promotion of this size, $8,000,000 is gonna keep this puppy afloat for the long haul. Other than that, we’ll be starting small, though. We won’t advertise or merchandise heavily, since it just doesn’t make sense at this state of HPW. Tim has those figures, and he’ll run them by us in a moment. Any questions so far?”
Both of us shook our heads slowly just as the door swung open again and Tim Lipman walked in, looking frazzled. “Fuck this stupid Los Angeles traffic. Dwayne, I have NO idea how I let you talk me into moving to this horrible city.” Dwayne chuckled, as did I. This was typical Tim, getting hassled by every little thing that went against him. Still, it was hard to feel bad for the guy, considering he was worth something in the neighborhood of $10 million. I have no idea how he was able to play the market for that much, especially since he only started with $2,000, but whatever he did was enough to retire him for life at 28. Looks like Dwayne was able to rope him in for this part-time gig, though. Those Miami ties really do last forever. What made this all the more interesting was that Tim never really shared our passion for wrestling. I believe his pet term for it was “hick interpretive dance”, which never failed to draw a look of disgust from me, Dwayne, and (I would assume) Rocky.
“Forget the traffic, Tim. You’re late. See, Jon and Dad are already here.” Tim grunted quick hellos to both of them and took a seat at the other end of the table, across from Dwayne. He pulled some files out of his briefcase and slid them out in front of him.
“So, where are you guys so far?” asked Tim, now in full-on business mode. “Dwayne, have you briefed them on the budget we’re planning on using?”
“Not yet, Tim. I wanted them to come up with a preliminary roster first, and then we’d deal with the business end of things. So guys, before I let you go wild, here’s the deal: I want to stay away from the WWE’s way of creating characters. I’m tired of Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak and those types of characters. I want everyone to have something worth remembering them for. So Dad, Jon, let’s see what you guys have drawn up.”
Both Rocky and I pulled out a sheets of paper, containing our ideas for preliminary rosters. We each gave a copy to each other, as well as to Dwayne and Tim. We scanned over the lists, and both looked right up at each other. We were obviously WAY apart on this.
“Whoa, Rocky, there’s a LOT of big names on this list! Randy Savage, Dusty Rhodes, Carly Colon Sr, Road Warrior Animal…”
He smiled up at me, obviously pleased with his work. “Yeah, I know! These guys know how to work a crowd like nothing else! They’ll get people way behind them, and give us the word of mouth we need to get started.”
“You’re kidding, though? I thought we were trying to do things differently, not capitalize on a bunch of nonstalgia? If we bring these guys in, we’re gonna flop!”
Rocky was suddenly defensive as he glared at me, looking to justify his choices. “And I suppose these kids are gonna turn it around? Who the hell is gonna come see a show for these people? Dwayne and I have been doing research on the indy guys for months now, and I’ve never heard of half these people!”
“That’s the point, Rocky!” I said in a slightly condescending voice. “The point is that we’re gonna create this from the ground up! We’ll give these guys an identity, and then we’ll have our new creation. This is gonna be the new way to do wrestling, and we’re gonna need to do it with NEW people!”
He scoffed at the suggestion. “That’s crap! We need to get these people into the building before we can hit them with our new stuff! I don’t care what you say, Sonjay Dutt and Austin Lee are not gonna get people into these seats! We need a hook, and guys like Savage are gonna do that!”
Dwayne quickly stepped in, cutting me off before I could speak. “Hey, guys, there’s plenty of room to compromise. But you guys DID have a couple of things in common here. I notice you both had Chance Beckett on your rosters, and you both liked this guy named Enygma too.”
“Yeah, Dwayne, that Enygma guy is quite a horse. He’ll make a great monster for us” chimed in Rocky. He turned to me and said, “Unless Mr. Fidrat here has a problem with that too.”
“No, I don’t have a problem with him, Rocky” I said in an indignant tone. “I DID put him on my list, remember?” He backed down a bit, allowing me a chance to speak. “Anyways, this is the important thing to remember: We need to create useful new profiles for these people, and I get the feeling that Randy Savage isn’t going to be as open to changing his entire character around.”
Tim rang in for the first time during the meeting, much to my delight: “Now I don’t know a ton about this stuff, but I do know that we’re trying to run this thing efficiently. I have a printout here featuring salary demands of a lot of people. Randy Savage wants $245,000 a month to work here! That’s way, WAY too expensive for this company!” I smirked a little as Dwayne nodded and said, “He’s got a point, Dad. We’re gonna have to be careful with our spending and everything.”
“WE HAVE EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS!” exclaimed Rocky. “Why the heck won’t we use it? We have a lot more money than any other fed in our position, and if we’re smart, we can quickly overpower them with some big stars on our roster. We’d be competing with TNA in a year’s time if we’re smart about things!”
Dwayne nodded his head in agreement, although it was hard to tell how much he agreed. “Well Dad, that is a good point…but we do have to run on a budget. Here’s the deal: You start working the phones, and you tell me who’s willing to sign on with us, and how much they’re gonna cost us a month, OK? Jon, you go through your indy guys, tell me who’s gonna come in here, and figure out how to package them. Tim and I are gonna go over the financial stuff, and we’ll let you know where we stand then.
……
After eight hours and a lot of bickering, it looked like we finally had our roster all laid out. I ended up winning out in this one, since my choices made a lot more sense financially. Still, Rocky had gotten a couple of people signed up rather cheaply (by overpaid old fart standards). I can’t imagine that they’re gonna do anything to really help this place out, though. Hopefully this doesn’t backfire on us. Anyways, as we left, Dwayne scheduled another meeting in Hollywood on April 11th, which was about 2 weeks before the first show, which was tentatively titled HPW Kick Start (one of Rocky’s ideas, which he fought tooth and nail for. I had wanted HPW Genesis, but those are the breaks…). Tim had gotten a few sponsors under contract, which would hopefully pick up most of the extra cost that we had for Rocky’s “name” talent. Anyways, Tim gave us a sheet with the basic stats of the federation, as well as our roster stapled onto it. Here’s what we were looking at right now:
Hollywood Pro Wrestling
Fed Size: Small
Public Image: 40%
Finances: $8,000,000
Risk: 70%
Production Values: 18%
Advertising: 5%
Merchandising: 5%
ROSTER:
- Typhoon (50 Over, 38 Charisma, Old School Heel, Heel): God, this one better work out. He’s horrendous on the mic and in the ring, which is exactly what Dwayne wanted to avoid. He’s also costing us almost $40,000 an appearance, which is twice what Tim had recommended us spending on wrestlers. And I really don’t think there are legions of Typhoon fans out there waiting for his big return. Regardless, he was here, and in our main event. Shoot me now.
- Paul London (48 Over, 55 Charisma, No Gimmick Needed, Heel): Oddly enough, the biggest name that I got to bring in for HPW was the exact opposite of Dwayne’s vision. Paul London doesn't have a ton of talent on the stick, but he's a great wrestler with some name value who should be able to help carry out some great matches. London's the designated "No bullshit, just wrestling" guy in the fed, and he won't take kindly to people wasting his precious time that could be spent kicking ass.
- Xstasy (40 Over, 84 Charisma, Fun Babyface, Face): Xstasy is a high-flyer extraordinare with the ability to really get the crowd behind him. He can hold the crowd in the palm of his hand with his words AND his offense. People will soon be experiencing the Joy of X throughout HPW! I’m real proud of this one
- Brutus Beefcake (40 Over, 60 Charisma, Old School Face, Face): He was SLIGHTLY better than Typhoon, but not by much. He still couldn’t wrestle, but he was passable on the mic, and wasn’t costing quite as much (only $30,000 per appearance for him), but he was still gonna be dead weight to our roster.
- Chance Beckett (35 Over, 70 Charisma, Clean Cut, Heel): Chance Beckett considers himself to be a good ol' Catholic boy who practices clean living. He's not a fan of the culture that seems to have taken hold in wrestling today, and he's a firm believer that he can push people to the right direction. He uses his above-average mic skills to help change the lives of his fellow wrestlers and the audience for the better.
- GQ (34 Over, 80 Charisma, Suave, Face): GQ is the ultimate ladies man. He's always bragging about his modeling career and his many, many women (although people never seem to actually SEE him with women). GQ is all about the ladies, and uses a triple jump moonsault called the Lady Killer to win his matches.
- Austin Lee (24 Over, 80 Charisma, Obnoxious, Heel): Austin Lee has his sights set on the promised land of the WWE, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get noticed. His idea: Get involved in just about everything, whether it involves him or not. He may not be well-liked, but he'll certainly gain notoriety that way...
- Lucien Van Wurl (24 Over, 87 Charisma, Pretentious Artist, Heel): Lucien was an acclaimed avant-garde artist for many years on the rise on the LA art scene. He grew bored with abstract art, however, and quit immediately to try his hand at what he considered to be the greatest performance art untouched by his brilliance: pro wrestling. He has incredible plans for this to become his greatest masterpiece, and will let NOTHING stand in the way of his vision. His main goal: Adding JUST a hint of gold around his waist...
- Fabulous Frederick (20 Over, 87 Charisma, Legitimate Athlete, Heel): Frederick was an accomplished middleweight boxer before he gave it up, looking for a new challenge. His flamboyant style (in the Don King sense, not the Liberace sense), love of fighting, and vibrant personality were a perfect fit for HPW. However, Frederick is a wee bit arrogant about his success in the boxing world, and considers himself above the rest of HPW thanks to his success in legitimate fighting
- Greg Pawluk (20 Over, 35 Charisma, Loner, Face): Pawluk is extremely, extremely, EXTREMELY quiet. He doesn't really talk to anyone, and when he does, he mumbles. He likes to be left alone at all times, hates dealing with people, and just wants to wrestle his match and go home. He basically lives in his own little shell, despite many (unsuccessful) attempts to have him break out.
- Enygma (16 Over, 81 Charisma, Split Personality, Tweener): Enygma has a very bad case of split personality disorder going on. One of his personalities is extremely depressed, and borderline suicidal. However, the other personality is very, VERY perky. TOO perky. We're talking Kathie Lee Gifford on ecstacy perky. Needless to say, it's not too hard to figure out who's in control of Enygma at any particular time.
- Feltcher (16 Over, 87 Charisma, Weirdo, Face): Feltcher...I don't really know how to describe him. Basically, he's a guy wearing a skeleton mask. That's his gimmick. He obviously wears the mask to get attention, since he always references his mask, and how cool it is, and how he likes to freak people out. Still.....a skeleton mask. How odd.
- Dan "Rock Of" Gibraltar (10 Over, 81 Charisma, Obsessed Fan, Tweener): Dan was drawn to this fed for one reason only: The Rock was part of it. He's idolized Dwayne since his days as Rocky Maivia (he might have been his only fan back then), and he LOVES the guy. He says he's willing to do just about anything to work with Rock. Figured we might as well run with that, so he's gonna be a stalker-esque guy.
- Bruce Lancaster (0 Over, 80 Charisma, Journalist, Face): Bruce here is an interesting case. You see, he's never really been a pro wrestler. He was a reporter from KLAD in Los Angeles who wanted to get an exclusive story on the Rock after his departure from the WWE and his new fed. He really wanted to get involved, though, so we gave him a spot on the roster. He'll try and work his way through the ranks to get a good feel for what it's like to be an indy wrestler. We're betting on it taking 3 shows before he quits.
Well, that’s all of them. Now it’s time…oh, wait, there’s this one other guy you might have heard of:
- The Rock (100 Over, 100 Charisma, Authority Figure, Face, Non-wrestler): C'mon, what could I possibly say about the guy? It's THE ROCK! He's here, he's a non-wrestler, he won't be on all the shows, and he'll kick ass on the mic and in the ring as only the Rock can.
-
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17, 2004
ROCHESTER, NEW YORK
"So wait," I said as we waited in mid-day traffic downtown. "You want ME to be booking this new promotion of yours?"
Dwayne turned to me, looking very businesslike. “Jon, how long have we known each other? We hung out in high school back in Bethlehem, we played ball together at Miami, and you and I have been friends ever since. You know just as much about wrestling as I do, and that’s not an easy accomplishment. You helped me BECOME the Rock, Jon! Between you, Dad, and Tim, that idiot McMahon won't know what hit him!”
"Wait, TIM is on board for this? Since when does Tim know shit about the wrestling business?"
Dwayne smiled knowingly, then reassured me: “Don’t worry, I’m all too aware of how little Tim knows about this business. But last I checked, you and Dad don’t know anything about how to handle a major corporation. Tim’s one hell of a businessman, Jon. He made his first million faster than I did! That’s pretty damn impressive, and it’s enough to get him a job.” Dwayne put the soda he had into the cup holder, then smiled once again, this time a little more forcefully. “If we’re gonna show McMahon who the real boss is here, we’re gonna need smooth financial planning and some crack angles to show his punk ass up!”
"Is this why you’re doing this, Dwayne?" I exclaimed sarcastically. "You’re trying to build up from this tiny little promotion just so you can prove Vince McMahon wrong? I mean, if that’s the reason you want to do this, then why not start bigger? You’ve got a lot of friends in the WWE, and some of ‘em would join with you! I mean, why not just team up with the Jarretts down in TNA, or raid the WWE roster, throw a bunch of money into this, and get yourself all over the networks?"
Dwayne looked back at me with a self-satisfied grin on his face, obviously content with his upcoming answer. “Jon, I won’t lie to you. That’s part of the reason that I’m doing this. I’d love to put Vince in a place where he can’t claim that he’s the reason I’m a success. Everyone with a brain knows that I’m the one who invented my character and made myself a star. Same with Austin and Foley and all those guys. Vince didn’t make them, they made themselves. And when I take McMahon down, it’ll be one of the sweetest feelings ever. But that’s not the only reason, Jon.”
I was still in the dark with where Dwayne was going with this. I mean, what else did he have left to do in wrestling? "Dwayne, what is this mysterious ‘other goal’ that you have with this federation you wanna start up? Spill it, man."
Dwayne takes a deep breath before starting to speak. “Jon, you know how I got popular. I got hot on the microphone, and people started responding to me. That’s how Steve got popular. He gave that speech at King of the Ring ’96, and that’s where it all started. Hogan couldn’t wrestle for shit, but he was great on the mic, and EVERYONE loved him. That’s how the megastars get made, Jon. They get on the microphone, and they make people care about what they’re saying. They bring them into the moment, they make them feel connected to the character, the story. It’s not an easy thing to do, Jon, but when that happens, it’s what makes professional wrestling so damn good. Foley might have been the best at that. He was incredible at it, and that’s why he was so damn popular in the end.
"But Vince…Vince doesn’t get it. He thinks that wrestling is all about sex jokes and random swerves and that type of thing. I know he’s wrong. You think I liked having to make my character all jokes? Sure, it’s nice to throw in some putdowns, but Vince pigeonholed me my entire career in the WWE. I never got to give the speeches like Foley gave when he went out. I knew I could do it, but Vince made me do jokes about monkey ass and stuff like that. Now, the fans…they won’t accept me giving those speeches. No matter how good people might think I am, they’ll always think of the laughs first, and that will bug me for the rest of my life."
"Now, I know a lot of people disagree with me about how wrestling should be done. Vince does, but everyone knows he’s a fool. Some people think it’s all about the wrestling, the in-ring action. They have their points, and you gotta be able to bring it in the ring, but that’s not what hooks people. If you hook ‘em with the words, then they’re yours FOREVER. Take the storylines, make ‘em interesting, and build the characters who can talk. It becomes a great story, and then, even if the blowoff isn’t that great, people can look back on the feud that brought them there, and realize that it was totally worth it. That’s what makes for the great feuds: Two guys who can go out there on the stick and have the crowd in the palms of their hands."
"So Jon, that’s what I want to do here. This new federation is going to validate my ideas. It’s going to prove that the key to building a successful company isn’t in the ring, or with swerves, or with some crap like HLA. It’s going to be with hot mic work, interesting feuds, and interesting characters. No more vanilla jobbers, feuding over shampoo, and that kind of crap! I want characters who are distinct, who stand out! And I want you to be the man to lead this company. Well, you and my dad, that is.”
The look of concern on my face immediately stopped him from continuing on, and he asked quickly, “What? What’s the matter?”
"Well, Dwayne..." I stammered for the right words, looking to choose the right words and not offend him: "What do you mean that me AND your dad are in charge? I thought I was the one in charge?"
Dwayne, seemingly relieved, gave me one of his genuine smiles. “Oh, that. Well, you can’t possibly think that I’m gonna give all the power to one person, do you? I thought about putting Dad in charge, but the McMahons are proof that family isn’t always the way to go. Still, I can’t just put you in charge, since I don’t want anyone taking control and dominating the entire fed.” I still didn’t look sold on the idea, so Dwayne changed his tack a little bit. “That’s another reason why Tim’s there. He’s an objective observer who can settle debates and the like. Honestly, it’s the best system I’ve thought up.”
I scratched my chin, weakening with every second. "Well, that is a good point…"
Dwayne, noticing my weakening resistance, went for the kill. “Of course it is, man. It IS me, after all! Since when has good ol’ Dwayne led you wrong? And besides, you know Dad. He’s a really reasonable guy. The two of you always got along fine, and you’re both brilliant wrestling minds. Seriously, I think you’ll learn a lot from each other!”
"Well, I suppose it’s worth a try," I said, which brightened Dwayne up, "but you’ll be around to lend a hand too, right?"
“Well, there’s only so much I can do, Jon. I mean, I AM gonna keep doing these movies. That’s why I quit in the first place. But this thing is gonna be centered in Hollywood, so I can lend a hand sometimes. This is my baby, Jon. I always need to have a place to call home. I just need your help to nurture it.”
I sighed briefly, thinking about that nice $100,000 salary from AT&T I was about to throw away, then turned my eyes back to Dwayne. "You’re on, man. We’re gonna tear this up."
“You won’t regret this, Jon. The only one that’s gonna regret this is Vince.” With that, the happiness in his voice faded, replaced with a businesslike tone. “Well, we don’t have much time. I gotta start filming again in mid-April…although I’ll be at our first show. It’ll be the day before I head out.”
I was shocked with Dwayne’s statement. "You mean we’re gonna be putting on a show in less than a month?"
“Damn straight we are, Jon. Now let’s get to work. This is gonna be a lot of work…………….but a lot of fun.” Somehow, I knew he was right, even as my mind was swimming. “Now, can you be in Hollywood on Friday morning? Dad and Tim are gonna be there, and we’re gonna go over the basics. Who to hire, budgets, production values, the whole deal.”
I think I replied in the positive, but my mind had already taken off, thinking about who the fed needed. Damn, I only have 48 hours to get this ready. This oughta be a LOT of fun. As the car pulled up to the curb by the airport, I stepped out. Dwayne went to close the door, off to wherever, when a thought jumped into my head. I swung the door back open, much to Dwayne’s surprise. “Hey, Dwayne, one more question: What are we gonna call this thing?”
He smiled one last time, and said with a grand gesture, “Hollywood Pro Wrestling. HPW! The future of the business, baby! I’ll see you in LA!” With that, I closed the door and stepped through the doors of the airport, wondering what the hell I had just gotten myself into.
-
A quick note: I started a diary entitled Hollywood Pro Wrestling a few months ago. However, I didn't have the time to work it, I missed a few key ideas, and things just weren't working, so it died quite quickly after one show. This diary, however, shall be different. I plan on updating it frequently throughout the summer, and really trying to build something with it. And now, on with....
HOLLYWOOD PRO WRESTLING
TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 2004
STAMFORD, CONNECTICUT
“What the hell are you talking about, Vince? You have to be kidding me! You expect me to just throw away millions and millions of dollars, a ton of publicity, and a chance to become a bigtime star just because you SAY SO?” The words come from Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, who is VISIBLY upset with the man sitting across from him, the one and only Vincent Kennedy McMahon. “You’re trying to tell me that you FORBID me from making my next two movies?”
Vince is sitting back in his chair on the other side of the desk, looking very peeved himself. “Dwayne, the WWE needs a star of your magnitude right now. Buyrates are down, ticket sales are down, gates are down, market share is down, and locker room morale is down! Austin’s retired, Foley’s retired, Taker’s a month from retirement, Hunter’s out of commission, god knows when Angle’s neck is gonna snap forever…we’re losing draws, Dwayne! You’re the biggest star we have, and I need you back here! You’re still under contract to us, and you have to fulfill that commitment. I did you a favor by letting you do those movies while under contract to me!”
“You di…”
“I’m not done!” Vince cuts off the Rock, his ego obviously in full gear. “You were bound to me, Dwayne! I could have just said no, like I did to Austin a few years ago! Instead, what did I do? I paid you, gave you months off at a time, worked around YOUR schedule, and even let you use your name and likeness, which WE owned, to promote your movies!”
“You did ME a favor? Vince, are you retarded? Who gave you massive mainstream advertising? I starred in movies, hosted Saturday Night Live, did commercials, massive publicity tours! That’s free advertising for you! You got a cut of my goddamn movies so you could go finance the XFL and WWE Originals and whatever other retarded business ideas you had!”
“Are you questioning my business skills, Dwayne?” asks Vince, baiting him into a question.
The Rock stays on the offensive: “Vince, any idiot with half a brain is questioning your business skills! You’re running this company into the ground! There’s only so many times I can bail you out, and I’m not going to break contracts I have with Universal and Paramount to do movies! I came back, and I did Wrestlemania XX! I lost at Wrestlemania AGAIN, Vince, just because you asked me to!! I did what you asked, but it’s time for to go! Try and develop a new star for once!”
“What do you call Brock Lesnar?”
“The star that I created, Vince” answers Dwayne, very confidentally. “Who put him over? ME. Taker didn’t make him look good, I DID! And then when you realized you had something that actually WORKED, you burned him out in under two years and made him quit the business! You’re nothing without me, Vince, and you know it!”
Vince leans in, his eyes filled with that familiar evil. “Dwayne, that’s where you’re wrong. You need me a LOT more than I need you. You said that you bought me lots of free publicity. What do you think you were getting, Dwayne? We plastered your damn face all over everything!”
“Vince, I’ve always said that I wanted a place to come home to. I love wrestling in front of massive crowds. I said I was WWE for life. But I’ll be DAMNED if I’m gonna spend time in this fed against my will. I’ll work on my schedule, or I’ll quit. So you have two choices: You let me honor the contract you approved a couple of months ago to make Spy Hunter and Johnny Bravo and I work for you when I can instead of getting a nice long vacation that I deserve, or you try to make me stay and I quit. You have 30 seconds to choose.”
Vince ERUPTS at the end of Rock’s little diatribe, furious about Dwayne Johnson trying to show him up. “YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN WALK INTO MY BOARDROOM AND TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO? I run this place, NOT YOU! Dwayne, I think you need to remember that! You ARE working for the WWE until Summerslam, and you don’t have a choice. This contract is IRONCLAD!”
Rock sighs deeply, looking somewhat sad, then stands up from his chair. “Vince, I’m sorry it came to this. I quit.”
“You can’t quit! We have a contract, and I refuse to let you out of it!”
Rock’s mouth BARELY turns upward, hinting at a smile, then he pulls out a folder filled with papers. He tosses it on the desk in front of Vince, who just looks at them. “Vince, you’re a goddman fool. Try READING that contract we negotiated in 2001 instead of getting your idiot yes-men to tell you what it says. Basically, if my contractual obligations with a production company is threatened in any way by WWE senior management, my contract is NULL AND VOID. You have done exactly that, so I walk out of here a free man.”
Vince, furious he’s forgotten that detail, fumes for a second before he shoots back at Dwayne: “Well, you might be a free man, but you’re free from EVERYTHING about the WWE ! You’re no longer The Rock! That entire gimmick is trademarked by the WWE! It’s ours!”
“Not exactly, Vince. You remember signing over that limited use clause, right? The one that allows me to use the name ‘The Rock’ in order to advertise my movies? Well, I knew you’d never sell me the gimmick outright after the mistake you made with Hogan, and that if I ever crossed you, you’d use it as a bargaining chip. So there’s another clause in that little contract of mine. If, for any reason, my contract with World Wrestling Entertainment is not fulfilled by either myself or the WWE, I have the right to buy all rights to the ‘The Rock’ trademark and full advertising rights for a price set by the Board of Directors. I spoke with Linda a few months ago regarding that price, and she said that it’d go for about $25-30 million or so. So basically, I dip into my fortune, buy my gimmick, and walk out on your pathetic ass forever. Do you smell what I’m cooking, Vince?” asks Dwayne with a smarmy, shit-eating grin on his face.
“FINE! WALK OUT! BUY YOUR DAMN GIMMICK!” screams McMahon as Rock starts to turn around to leave. “BUT REMEMBER, ROCK, YOU’RE GONE FOREVER! FOREVER! YOU’RE TURNING YOUR BACK ON WRESTLING! YOU’LL NEVER STEP INTO A RING AGAIN!”
This draws Rock’s attention, causing him to turn around in front of the office door. “Vince, I’m confused. How is it that I’ll never wrestle again?”
Vince laughs at Rock: “Who the hell is gonna hire you? Jerry Jarrett? He’s not looking for another part-timer! Hell, they’re almost broke to begin with! Who else? Ring of Honor? That’s HILARIOUS…the Rock in Ring of Honor! They ain’t filiming another Odd Couple movie, Dwayne…but it’s not like you could get a part in that movie anyways. They’d want a GOOD actor, like Steven Seagal or Vin Diesel, for that role!”
“You seem to be forgetting something, Vince: I’m The Rock! Where I go, people will follow! My family’s been in this business for 3 generations, and we have our fair share of connections. So me and my father, whose letter of resignation will be in your mailbox by the end of the day, won’t have any problem taking care of this little problem. Before this little incident, me, my dad, and my buddies would always get together and bash the HELL out of you! We analyzed everything you did, and in the end, we KNEW we could do this better than you. And now, Vince….now’s my chance to show you exactly what I know about this business.” The Rock heads for the door and swings it open, with the small grin having totally disappeared. “You’ve fucked a lot of people over in your time, Vince. But I’m not Bret Hart, Vince. You’ll live to regret this one.” With that, Dwayne Johnson slams the door shut, leaving a seething Vince McMahon behind.
Renaissance Championship Wrestling
in The Dome Retro Room
Posted
JULY 14, 2006
RCW “HEADQUARTERS”
I spent the Fourth of July, the most patriotic day of the year, sitting in front of my television watching the fireworks with a Miller Lite and a dirty t-shirt. God Bless America. I had made plans with an old friend to go up to Westchester and have a good BBQ, but that had been nixed. Apparently Ellen had RSVP’d first, and I wasn’t far enough along yet. Putting me on the same turf as her would just end up leading to a pissing contest, and most likely one I would lose. My friends were investment bankers, and there had been a lot of skepticism when I decided to hold wrestling shows in a Brooklyn bingo hall. They still talked to me, but I’m sure the conversations when I was out of earshot were less than complimentary.
It didn’t matter, though. I was converting Sophie into a believer. After her little run-in with Kid Fantastic backstage, she had shown an increasing interest in what we were actually doing. She even asked for a wrestling tape of mine, saying she wanted to learn more about what we were doing. She returned it disgustedly a day later, saying it was total garbage. Amazingly, Jim Duggan and Jake Roberts didn’t inspire the same reaction that Kid Fantastic did. I had already set a tape aside with a bunch of Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell matches on it for her next time. I wasn’t quite sure why the hell I still had that tape lying around, but I figured Sophie would at least watch that one. Still, it was progress. And she kept asking about Kid Fantastic – I got the feeling I’d have a permanent backstage assistant.
Jack and I had gone to Seton Hall earlier in the week, like Ellen had wanted. Jack didn’t seem too interested in the school – I could barely get him to talk about the college stuff at all. Of course, he was my son, so that wasn’t really a surprise. Still, I liked to pretend that he was a buddy of mine, like how I was with my father. Still, after a couple of awkward hours in the car, we had gotten back to my apartment, and Jack had a chance to watch a tape of Code Red. He had the following points:
- Twiggy’s the man (and totally reminded him of this one guy from his school)
- Kid Fantastic is still a stupid name
- Kurt Lauderdale’s chair shots were awesome
- Chance Beckett should have been there
- Francoise’s a total killjoy
- Sam Artino sucks it hard
The last one pissed me off a bit – anything that related to Bruno Sammartino couldn’t be bad! Other than that, I was glad his thinking was generally positive. RCW was doing pretty well, and we had a lot of momentum heading into the next show. I let Jack take a look at the booking plans for the next show, and he seemed pretty interested in them. Maybe I could actually get him down to Brooklyn this time….
=============================
OFFICIAL~! PREVIEW FOR RCW BASTARDS ON PARADE
WORLD TITLE MATCH
CHANCE BECKETT © vs. GEORGE SAND
With a huge win over veteran Adam Flash at RCW Code Red, George Sand earned himself a shot at Chance Beckett’s RCW World Title! Will Sand be ready to climb to the top of the Renaissance Championship Wrestling summit, or will Chance Beckett remain king of the mountain?
UPDATE ON KID FANTASTIC
Last month, Kid Fantastic was the target of a brutal attack by Kurt Lauderdale and a steel chair. The Kid was left unconscious, and was unresponsive to initial treatments by trainer Helen Canada. At Bastards on Parade, we’ll have the latest news on the extent of Kid Fantastic’s injuries.
DAVE TRIPPS vs. JOHN WELLINGTON
We’re used to seeing Dave Tripps behind the Trippin’ news desk, but today, Tripps steps into the ring against John Wellington. Will Tripps be able to make the adjustments after his loss to Chance Beckett two months ago, or will Wellington walk out with a victory under his belt?
SAM ARTINO vs. KATSUSHI TAKEMURA
Takemura picked up a huge win against three other men last month, putting himself on the fast track to a title shot. However, the old-school Sam Artino stands in his path at Bastards on Parade. Can Takemura keep the momentum moving forward?
AND MORE!
Fred Laney, Twiggy, Nick Collyer, and more should be present at RCW Bastards on Parade on Sunday, July 30th from the famous Earl Polero Bingo Hall in Brooklyn, New York! Buy your tickets now – sales are limited!
Sunday, July 30, 2005
Earl Polero Bingo Hall, Brooklyn, NY
RCW BASTARDS ON PARADE!