Agent Risktaker

The robot determined that Spooner had a larger chance of surviving, so thus he rescued him. The doctor that was thrown through the window replaced his arm, which is why they were so close.

He probably requested it to remember her or something along those lines.

Is there a way to prove this as being true? I remember some site awhile back tried to fake a WWE lawsuit and then told WWE to fuck off to seem 'cool.'

Bad Boys II - 6/10

Daredevil - 1/10

And you thought Gigli was bad.

August 19, 2004

WWE.com

SmackDown! comes to you from beyond the northern border in Ontario, Canada! With just a week to go until SummerSlam, things are heating up big time and this week is sure to be explosive. We already know that Eddie Guerrero will be in the building and after learning of Kurt Angle's stipulation for their match at SummerSlam, he had better watch out for Angle and his henchmen!

In a special warm-up match for SummerSlam, Spike Dudley will face Shannon Moore in nontitle action! Spike will defend his Cruiserweight title against Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam, but tonight he has to worry about overcoming Moore, who holds several high-profile wins over some of Smackdown's top stars! Can he do it? And will Mysterio get involved?

With just a week away from their match for the United States title, John Cena and Booker T already want a piece of each other. GM Teddy Long has agreed to give the fans a special preview match, but it won't just be Booker and Cena in the ring! Luther Reigns and Big Show will also be involved in a special tag team match. But will Cena and Big Show be able to comprehend each other, especially after their bad blood and what occured last week when Show destroyed Cena and everyone else in sight!

Kenzo Suzuki has requested a match from Teddy Long and earlier today, it was granted. Suzuki will face two other men in a triple threat match to determine who receives a shot at the United States title following SummerSlam! The winner of this match will go on to face the US Champion on the August 26th edition of Smackdown!

And in the main event, John Bradshaw Layfield will defend his WWE Title against a man who he claims could walk out of the building as Champion -- Funaki. Yes, JBL will defend his title just a week away from SummerSlam against Funaki and he's already bragging to everyone that he's a fighting champion. But while JBL may be laughing now, he might not if the Undertaker shows up and ruins his fun. Will it go down, just a week away from SummerSlam?

With just a week to go until one of the biggest events of the year occurs, you better tune into SmackDown! only on UPN at 8/7 CT and prepare to Smack your TV!

08/14 Velocity Results

Taped from Detroit, MI.

We review the opening segment on SmackDown! involving Kurt Angle and Theodore Long.

Josh Matthews and Bill DeMott hype up the WWE Invitational, which begins on August 28th, 2004.

Chris Masters def. Lamont in 5:06 with the Future Wave.

We review Kurt Angle and his win over Big Show and the stipulation for SummerSlam.

Jamie Noble def. Scotty 2 Hotty in 8:17 with the Trailer Hitch.

Charlie Haas def. Bob Holly with a Brainbuster at 4:15. Afterwards, Holly assaulted Haas.

The main event of Smackdown is reviewed, leading up to Big Show destroying everybody.

Luther Reigns def. Orlando Jordan at 6:54 with the Chokeslam

SmackDown!

After the opening montage, we see a video of Theodore R. Long being announced as the new General Manager from last week at the beginning of the show and then all of Long's announcements -- from making two SummerSlam matches to restarting the Cena/Dupree match! Finally, we open to find Teddy Long standing inside the ring in Detroit, Michigan as he takes in the cheers from 10,000 something fans. Behind him is Mark Henry, who looks at Long and smirks. Long nods and brings the microphone to his lips, speaking.

“Lemme holla' at cha, playa'.” Massive cheers. “Last week I talked about equal opportunity and how important it is here on Smackdown. And let me tell you. It is important. It's my number one priority. And because of that, I've decided to give sixteen men a shot to earn a WWE contract. You see, starting the Velocity after SummerSlam, the SmackDown! Invitational will begin. And in that invitational, you will see men you've never seen before. Playa's who have never been given a chance at the big times. The little guy's who have been held down be da' man. You feelin' me?” The crowd cheers and Long continues.

“So if any of you little guys is watchin' me right now, here's what you need to do. Come on down to the WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut and sign yourself up. Then you'll be able to get in contact with me and lemme tell ya, the money will start rolling in. So get in your car, get a ride from a friend, or take a bus -- whatever you got to do to get up he…”

But Long is suddenly cut off by the opening sounds of Kurt Angle's music, who struts out onto the rampway alongside Luther Reigns. Angle is already in his ring attire and pauses at the top of the rampway, shooting his arms into the air as pyro explodes behind him. Angle leads Reigns to the ring and quickly climbs in, retreaving a microphone from an attendant and bringing it to his lips, speaking as his music dies down.

“Hold it, Teddy.” Long quickly corrects him. “Oops. Hold it, Mr. Long. That better? Now, let me get this straight okay? You want to gather up 16 nobodies… and give them a shot at a SmackDown! contract?” Long nods and Angle starts to laugh. “You hear that, Luther? He's gonna give a bunch of nobodies a shot. What kind of joke is that?”

Long is about to speak, but Henry leans over and speaks into the microphone for him. “You got Luther Reigns a contract, didn't you?” Reigns' eyes go wide and Angle shakes his head as the crowd cheers. Henry smirks and Long pats him on the shoulder before speaking. “Yeah, playa. If you can get this big guy here a contract, I figure I can go ahead and give somebody deserving a contract as well. You dig? So frankly, Kurt…”

But Kurt cuts him off. “So frankly nothing. You don't disrespect Luther Reigns like that. Mr. Reigns is a humanoid machine. He is trained in three forms of Ju-Jitsu and holds a Championship in Mui Thai kickboxing. So do you still think he's a nobody?” Angle smirks and crosses his arms, waiting on the answer. Henry and Long look at each other and then nod thir heads. “Yep, he's still a nobody punk.” Angle's eyes go wide and he holds Reigns back before continuing. “You both be quiet! Mr. Reigns is the future of Smackdown; don't disrespect him like that.”

Long cuts in, shaking his hand at Angle. “Kurt, you've got a match tonight playa. So go on and get out of here with Mr. Reigns and get ready. I'm sure Mr. Reigns can show you some new moves, if you catch my drift playa.” The crowd laughs as Angle shakes his head, getting angry. “So Kurt, incase you've forgot, but I run things around here now. So get out of my ring, playa!” Angle breaths in hard and bites his lip before heading for the ropes.

“Oh, and Teddy…” Suddenly, Luther Reigns rushes forth and drills Mark Henry from behind with a stiff clothesline before turning to Theodore Long and eyeing him up and down! Angle leaps in between them though and pushes Reigns back, only to spin around and drill Long with a fist! Reigns then pulls Henry up and lays him out with a powerful Chokeslam as Angle poses over Long's fallen form. The crowd boo's loudly and Angle smirks as we go to a commercial break.

(49) - SmackDown! Invitational Brackets

COMMERCIAL BREAK

“In case you're just tuning in, you missed a huge turn of events! Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns brutally assaulted Mark Henry and Theodore Long after an altercation between the four men. During the break, Long was helped to the back by officials and I'm being told right now that he's alright, thankfully.”

“Yanno, I guess Kurt Angle has never heard the phrase 'Don't cross the boss' because that's exactly what he just did. Not only did he cross the boss, but he also layed him out with a right hand! And let me tell you Cole. Teddy Long ain't gonna take this and by the end of the night, Angle's life is probably gonna be a living hell.”

“Well, whatever the case may be, it's time for the first match of the night so here we go!”

Heidenreich w/ Paul Heyman vs. Tommy Dreamer

Heidenreich attacks Dreamer as he enters the ring to get things started but falls victim to a sick DDT from the Hardcore Icon, who immediately stands and rips his shirt off. Then, as Heidenreich stands, Dreamer wraps the shirt around his neck and begins choking him with it! The referee manages to pull Dreamer away but as Heidenreich stands, he rushes forth and hits him with a Clothesline right over the top rope. On the outside, Dreamer takes it to Heidenreich and then brings the fight back into the ring where he goes for a pin that only gets two. As Heidenreich stands, Dreamer goes for another clothesline but Heidenreich catches him with a big crossbody slam and then hooks the leg for two. Heidenreich wastes no time in pulling Dreamer up, tossing him into the ropes like he's a rag doll. As he returns, Heidenreich goes for a Big Boot but Dreamer ducks and instead scoops him up for a Death Valley Driver! Dreamer covers and it looks to be all over, but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring to stop the count! Heyman and the referee begin to argue, but Dreamer appears and levels Heyman. Heidenreich appears behind Dreamer and wraps his massive arms around his neck, trying to choke the life out of him. Dreamer manages to counter with a boot between Heidenreich's legs and then grabs a kendo stick from underneath the ring, drilling Heidenreich between the eyes as he turns! The referee quickly calls for the bell, but Dreamer rolls Heidenreich back in and hits the Crucifix Driver as the crowd cheers Dreamer on.

Winner: By DQ, Heidenreich

Rating: 64, 52, 77, **¾

Backstage, Kurt Angle is with Luther Reigns and Booker T. He's spread out on the floor doing sit-ups and has obviously been doing them for awhile due to his sweaty body. Booker and Reigns urge him on, telling Kurt he has only a few more to go. As Angle finishes, he quickly rolls over and begins doing push-ups. “Come on, Kurt. 5, 6, 7, 8. Come on, keep going Kurt! You gotta be ready for tonight.”

Angle does several more push-ups and then stands, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Thanks, Booker.” Reigns hands him a bottle of water and he takes a huge gulp from it. “Booker, just like you're going to beat Rob Van Dam tonight, I'm going to destroy Big Show. Teddy Long thinks he can just come in here and take over my show, but you know what? He's wrong and tonight, I'm gonna prove to him and Eddie Guerrero too that despite a serious injury that nearly ended my career, Kurt Angle is still the best damn wrestler Smackdown has to offer.”

Booker nods and pats Angle on his shoulder. “Fo sho, Kurt. You take care of 'dat Big Show sucka and I'll deal with that Rob Van Dam chump. Tonight is our night and we're gonna show all these punk's who is the best. And you know what, Kurt? Once I get done with RVD, I'm gonna win that United States title at Summerslam and finally get what I deserve. Oh yeah.” Booker and Kurt nod to each other and give each other grins.

“Speaking of getting what they deserve, Mark Henry got what he deserved tonight too! Haha; good job, Luther. You put that piece of trash in his place.” Reigns just nods and smirks, cracking his knuckles. But suddenly, their smiles turn to anger as they view the monitor.

(97)

We cut away to the parking lot to show what Angle and Booker are viewing -- the arrival of Eddie Guerrero! A beautiful red lowrider with white designs pulls up into the parking lot and as the door opens, out steps the former WWE Champion. Looking around, Eddie does alittle dance and signs a few autographs for some fans before entering the arena. We then cut back to Angle and Booker, who are both extremely angry that Guerrero is in the building tonight.

(91)

The Dudley Boyz vs. Billy Kidman, Paul London, & Rey Mysterio

The Dudleyz enter first to boo's, all carrying their titles with them. They enter quickly and pose at the corners with their belts, but are quickly cut off by the arrival of Kidman and London. The five men exchange fists and begin to brawl, but the three-on-two advantage quickly comes into play and Kidman and London are suddenly on the receiving end of a beating. But that changes quickly as Mysterio pops out off the stage and hits the ring with a big Splash onto all three Dudley's, taking them off their feet. Kidman and London join in on the fight and send their opponents to the outside as the match begins. Mysterio and D-Von Dudley are the first two in and quickly tieup, fighting for the advantage. D-Von uses his size to bring Mysterio down into a headlock and then whips him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline on the return, but Mysterio ducks and hits a dragon whip instead. D-Von is up quick though and rushes Mysterio, tackling him into the Dudley's corner. All three men begin to drill Mysterio with fists, but Rey manages to kick D-Von away and then cracks skulls between Spike and Bubba! Leaping to the top rope, Mysterio jumps off and nails a Hurricanrana on D-Von, holding it for a pin. But Spike is there to break it up and then lays Rey out with a neckbreaker. D-Von slowly stands and tags in Bubba Ray, who immediately takes it to Rey with elbows. Bubba sends Mysterio into the ropes with an irish whip and nails a boot as he returns before laying him out with a DDT. As he stands, he points at Kidman and London and spits at them. Both men attempt to enter the ring, but the referee holds them back as all three Dudley's begin to attack Mysterio.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We return to find that Spike and D-Von have already exited the ring and Bubba goes for the cover. But just before three, Mysterio kicks out and the crowd goes nuts. Bubba shakes his head and pulls Mysterio up, whipping him into the ropes. Upon the return, Mysterio ducks a clothesline and floors Bubba with a dropkick! We get the mandatory crawl-to-the-corner spot and it's Mysterio who gets the tag first, bringing in Kidman. Here comes Spike as well, and he gets floored by Kidman. Dropkick on D-Von and a clothesline over the ropes to Bubba Ray. Spike stumbles right into a Powerbomb from Kidman and it's Shooting Star time! D-Von manages to grab hold of Kidman's leg though and shoves him off without the referee seeing, allowing Spike to get the pin. Kidman just gets out at two and now, all three men are in the ring brawling. London and D-Von fight to the outside while Mysterio and Bubba exchange fists on the inside. D-Von manages to whip London into the ropes and then reenters, whipping Kidman into the ropes and lifting him up as he returns. Bubba is right there to nail a 3D and as they throw Mysterio to the outside, Spike gets the cover for three at 14:15. Afterwards, the Dudleyz celebrate as London and Kidman check on a fallen Mysterio.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz

Rating: 71, 66, 77, **¾

“And the Dudleyz steal one from Mysterio, Kidman, and London! Spike was obviously the legal man but that didn't stop D-Von and Bubba Ray from attacking Mysterio. Tazz, I can't wait for SummerSlam -- these two matches are going to be huge.”

“Oh yeah, Cole. Mysterio is a real rocketbusta' and wants his title back from Spike. So do Paul London and Billy Kidman. As JR puts it, these two matches are going to be slobberknockers. My money's on the Dudleyz to retain the tag titles, but I'm not sure if Spike can pull it off without his two brothers at his side.”

“Hey, wait a minute! Do you hear that, Tazz? Here comes the WWE Champion, JBL!”

Cole is indeed right as John Bradshaw Layfield's massive white limo appears on the rampway. The driver steps out and opens the back door, allowing JBL to step out. However, this JBL has a very noticeable white neckbrace around his neck as he waves to the crowd and holds his title up. Slowly making his way down to the ring, JBL enters the ring and retreaves a microphone from the attendant. He waves to the fans and signals for his music to cut off before speaking.

“I guess you've all noticed this neckbrace I'm wearing, so I'll go ahead and explain it. You see, over the week, I was defending the WWE title at a charity event for less-than-fortunate children in the Texas area and I injured my neck. And I've injured my neck so bad that several WWE medical officials have told me that I cannot wrestle at SummerSlam. Even the guys in the back are telling me to postpone my match with the Undertaker until later, despite my willingness to compete anyway. But I've made my decision and unfortunately, I have decided that it is best if I do not compete at SummerSlam.” The crowd immediately begins to boo, but their boo's turn to cheers as Teddy Long appears on the entranceway with WWE medical trainer, Larry Heck. Long pauses at the top of the rampway and quiets the crowd, speaking.

“Hold it playa. I've got Larry Heck here and I guess you know that he's the head medical trainer on Smackdown. He's going to be the one who decides if you're fit to wrestle at SummerSlam or not. Go on, Larry.” The man begins down the rampway and enters, offering his hand to JBL who doesn't accept. Heck attempts to look at JBL's neck, but he won't let him. “Whoa, playa. Incase you forgot, I'm the GM here and I make the decisions. You let him check your neck or that WWE title is mine.” The crowd goes nuts as JBL kicks the ropes, before allowing Heck to view his neck. Heck begins to push JBL's neck one way and then the other, asking him if it hurts. JBL plays up his pain but once Heck is finished, seems okay. Heck then takes a microphone and speaks.

“Mr. Long, it is my judgement that after reviewing John Bradshaw Layfield's neck, he will be able to compete at SummerSlam!” The crowd cheers and JBL shakes his head, looking shocked. He quickly grabs Heck by his shirt and tells him to tell Long he can't wrestle, but is cut off by the toll of a church bell as the lights cut off. Long and Heck hightail it out of there as JBL looks around. The lights suddenly cut back on and JBL stumbles back, right into Undertaker! His eyes go wide and he slowly turns, right into a Chokeslam! The crowd goes nuts as Undertaker pulls JBL up and connects with a huge Piledriver, leaving him layed out as he holds the WWE Title into the air and rolls his eyes into the back of his head.

(85)

“Damn, Undertaker just layed JBL out! Did you see that, Cole? If JBL's neck wasn't hurt a few minutes ago, it sure as hell is now!”

“Oh yeah, Tazz! JBL tried to weasle his way out of his match at SummerSlam, but Teddy Long would have none of it and I guess, Undertaker wouldn't either.”

“Well, we've got Mark Lyold standing by with Kurt Angle in the back so let's see what the Olympic Hero has to say. Take it away, Mark.”

We cut to a Mark Lyold standing by with Angle, Booker, and Reigns in the Smackdown interview area. Angle is in his ring attire and has his gold medals around his neck, rolling his shoulders as he prepares for his match. “Thanks, Tazz. I am here with Kurt Angle, who will take on Eddie Guerrero at SummerSlam. But tonight, he will face the Big Show and if he can beat him, he will be able to choose the stipulation for his match at SummerSlam.”

Lyold attempts to continue, but Angle cuts him off. “What do you mean, 'if he can beat him?' Of course I'm going to beat him. I'm Kurt Angle, for god's sake. I am an Olympic Hero and make no mistake about it, I'm going to beat Big Show tonight, make my stipulation for SummerSlam, and beat Eddie Guerrero. Oh yeah.”

Lyold nods. “Well, what will your stipulation be if you win? Uh, when you win.”

Angle smirks. “Now you're catching on. But Lyold, my stipulation is none of your business. You'll just have to wait until I beat Big Show tonight and announce it. Now get out of my way! Booker, Luther… come on.”

Angle motions Booker and Luther to follow him and they all disappear off camera as we go to a commercial break.

(90)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle w/ Booker T & Luther Reigns

Angle enters first, hopping from foot to foot at the top of the rampway as his pyro explodes. Angle makes his way into the ring quickly and tells the fans to shut up as they chant "You Suck" along to his music. Big Show makes his inring return to Smackdown next and gets a nice amount of cheers, as his massive figures makes it way down to the ring. Upon entering, Show is attacked by an eager Angle who immediately begins to target his two bad knees. Angle tries for an early Angle Slam, but Show instead lays him out with an elbow to the back of the head and then sends several boots to the back of his head. Angle rolls away quickly and manages to tackle Show in the knee, forcing him down onto the canvas. Angle has his way with him on the mat since Show is nowhere as near mobile as he is, but Show manages to stand with Angle on his back! Show then falls back into the corner, squashing Angle. Angle holds on though and as Show tries for the same move again, leaps over in front of Show and hits him with a boot to the gut before taking his right leg and lifting it up, placing it behind the middle ropes. Angle continues to target Show's leg, as he makes quick work of his right leg which is tangled up in the ropes. He begins to kick and stomp the knee as Show screams in pain. Climbing to the outside, Angle begins to pull at his leg but is suddenly thrown off by an enraged Show, who gets untangled and goes after Angle on the outside. Press 75 if you're reading this. The two men finally reeneter the ring where Show continues to dominate, just beating the life out of Angle despite a bad knee that he's now limping on. Show drills Angle with a right hand that knocks him to the outside and he quickly follows, throwing him into the steel steps. Angle is now busted open but counters Show's attacks with a lowblow before bringing him back into the ring. He goes for an Ankle Lock, but Show just kicks him away and slowly stands. Angle runs right into a Chokeslam from Show, but as he's about to make the pin, Booker T appears and hops up onto the apron, yelling at Big Show. Show stands and swings at him, but Booker manages to avoid the shot and hops off of the apron. Show yells at Booker to get out of here but as he's yelling at him, Angle is regaining his composure on the inside. Show turns to a standing Angle and tries for a clothesline, but Angle ducks and catches him from behind with an Angle Slam! Angle stands and let's out a whoo to the crowd, pulling the straps on his slinglet down before grabbing Show by his leg and locking on the Ankle lock. Show is obviously out of it and the referee quickly calls for the bell, awarding the match to Angle.

Winner: Kurt Angle

Rating: 78, 72, 85, ***¼

Angle quickly releases the hold and raises his arms into the air as Booker and Luther Reigns join him in celebration. However, Teddy Long quickly interrupts their celebration as he storms out onto the rampway, screaming for his music to be cut off. Long points at Angle and immediately begins yelling at him. “Hold it right there, playa. I did it last week and I'll do it again. Restart this match! No interference is allowed and I ain't havin' this thing go down like this.”

The bell rings but Angle just smirks and retreaves a microphone, speaking. “Hold on just a minute. Teddy, I took it upon myself to look at the WWE Rule Book and according to it's glossary, interference is where a participant not involved in a match makes PHYSICAL contact with one of the participants in the match. As you can see, Booker made no phsyical contact with Big Show -- only verbal. Thus, it was not actually interference and because of that, you cannot restart the match. If you don't believe me, just read the rule book. Matches can only be restarted when someone has interfered in a match. Sorry, Teddy.”

The crowd boo's, but Long frowns and nods to Angle. “Okay, playa. You might of slipped by me this time, but it ain't gonna happen again. Get ready for SummerSlam, you feel me?” Long begins to head backstage, but Kurt haults him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Teddy, did you forget about our agreement? If I won this match I would get to make a stipulation for my match at SummerSlam? I hope you didn't. Because I did win, afterall.” Long simply nods and tells Kurt to make his stipulation. “With pleasure, Teddy. You see, if and when I beat Eddie Guerrero, I want to become the General Manager again. So my stipulation for SummerSlam is this -- when I beat Eddie Guerrero, the job of General Manager is handed over to me. Are ya feelin' me, playa?”

The crowd boo's loudly as Cole and Tazz exchange words about Angle's stipulation. Long frowns once more. “You know what, Kurt? You're a smart man. But I have all the confidence in the world in Eddie Guerrero, so you've got it. If. And that's a very small if -- you beat Eddie at SummerSlam, you can become the General Manager again. Now get the hell out of my ring!”

Long heads to the back as Angle and Booker continue to celebrate, before we go to a commercial break.

(82)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

RAW Rebound - Triple H being attacked by Eugene during his match with Rhyno. Randy Orton losing his shot at the World Title to Chris Jericho.

Main Event: Booker T w/ Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

RVD enters first to a massive amount of cheers, followed by Booker T who is accompanied by Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns. Booker takes his time getting to the ring but immediately attacks RVD from behind as he enters! The match gets underway quickly with Booker assaulting RVD, but Van Dam manages to counter a clothesline from Booker into an armbar drag and then a dropkick. As Booker stands, RVD tries for another armdrag, but Booker stops him with a knee to the gut and then floors him with a uppercut. RVD stands and stumbles into the ropes, turning right into a Clothesline from Booker. On the outside, Booker begins to beat RVD with everything in sight -- from throwing him into the steps to choking him with the camera cables. Finally, the two men return to the ring and Booker goes for the cover but it's only enough for two! Angry, Booker stands and pulls RVD up, throwing him into the corner where he begins nailing him with chops. But RVD fires back with a series of rights and ducks a fist from Booker, sending him into the corner. RVD then catches Booker with several fists, before doing a backflip and rushing forth to hit Booker with a Splash right into the corner! Booker stumbles out and gets floored by RVD, who kicks his leg out from under him. Bouncing off ther ropes, RVD nails a Rolling Thunder and goes for the cover but it only gets two. We go to commercials with RVD locking Booker into a chokehold.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Returning, RVD is now ascending to the top rope and we see a 'during the break' section on the screen with RVD laying Booker out with a side kick. RVD leaps off for a Five Star, but Booker moves! Amazingly though, RVD manages to land on his feet and then turns to nail Booker with a Hurricanrana, sending him through the ropes and to the outside. Standing, Van Dam poses for the fans and then ascends to the top rope, perching there as Booker slowly stands. Once he has stood, RVD leaps off for a Splash but Booker moves at the last second and RVD's flesh collides with steel in a sickening thud. Both men are now layed out on the floor, with only Booker stirring. The referee's count begins and it begins to reach 5, then 6, then 7. At 8, Booker slowly stands and leans on the apron. At 9, he notices the count and leaps back into the ring just as the referee gets to 10! There's a slight confusion at first as the referee calls for the bell and announces his decision to the ring announcer. “Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… BOOKER T!!” The crowd explodes in boo's as Booker celebrates with Angle and Reigns, before the three men turn towards RVD and begin to beat away at him. However, the crowd's boo's turn to cheers as Eddie Guerrero busts out from the back and hits the ring in his street clothes, drilling all three men with rights and lefts. Angle manages to clip Guerrero's leg out from under him as he's fighting with Reigns and now, the three men start to beat down on Guerrero. But John Cena hits the ring with a chair in hand and floors Angle and Reigns, before hitting an FU on Booker! RVD and Eddie join in on the fight, but no one can gain an advantage. Suddenly, pyro explodes on the rampway and Big Show makes his way down to the ring, destroying everything in sight! Smackdown then goes off the air with Show standing tall, everyone in sight down and out.

Winner: Booker T

Rating: 82, 85, 78, ***

“Dear god! RVD was just destroyed by that guard rail and Booker T has won the match, thanks to a count out. He's going on to SummerSlam without even beating RVD. What a cheap match we got.”

“WHAT!? Booker beat RVD fair and square. He went for a high-risk move and it failed. Booker made it back to the ring by the 10 count and because of that, he's going on to SummerSlam. US Title, here we come!”

“Whatever the case may be, we're out of time but fans, be sure to tune in next week because there are sure to be implications as a result of what occured tonight. Goodnight!”

SD! QUALITY: 79%

SD! RATING: 6.05

That's how it is in WWE, so I have to go with it unfortunately.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

The Village: 7.5/10 - It was pretty good, but the only part I didn't understand was who played the first monster, when the guy rang the bell and everyone hid while it came into town and left red marks on the doors. Who was that?

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

I, Robot: 8/10 - Very good movie that I've fallen in love with.

No, you didn't say anything about the thread annoying you, but it doesn't contain anything that interests you (like republicans, or George W. Bush) so why even comment?

←

Maybe it does interest me. Maybe I have a whole collection of Pokemon cards under my bed. Maybe I had no idea anybody in the States still collected/played Pokemon and was making a comment about it. Maybe you should stop being an ass.

So? Still doesn't mean you need to come into the thread and deposit your two cents. You're the one who bitches in the "Who Do You Hate?" thread about how people "don't have to read" all the political bullshit threads you and others make, so why can't you just take your own advice and NOT read the threads that don't interest you?

Uhm, I never said anything about this thread annoying me or anything. I just said I was shocked that Pokemon was still around in the States. Stop twisting my words.

And who is maddog anyway? The only people who can say something about banning me: Veg, Maxx, and Cloudy. Hush, posers.

Pokemon is still around? That's more shocking than this story.

←

Oh god, you're funny. That's..that's funny. That's original!

Yes, Pokemon is still around, and it still has quite a dedicated fanbase. If you came in here to prance around and act like some almighty better-than-you, holier-than-thou being, you might as well just leave. Ass.

←

It wasn't a joke, though.

I'm watching USA against Puerto Rico. What is this, a warmup match or the real thing? I haven't heard shit about the Olympics in like a month.

Pokemon is still around? That's more shocking than this story.

August 12, 2004

WWE.com

We're coming to you from the home of the 2004 NBA Champions in Detroit, Michigan! It's just one week removed from the shocking announcement of a new General Manager, Theodore Long. And this is sure to be an exciting SmackDown! with several huge matches already lined up. We already know that Paul Heyman's monster, Heidenreich, will be in action as he takes on Tommy Dreamer. Last week, Heidenreich destroyed three men including Dreamer and now, he wants revenge on Heidenreich!

We've also got a huge six-man tag match lined up, as Bubba Ray, D-Von, and Spike of the Dudley Boyz take on Paul London, Billy Kidman, and Rey Mysterio! At SummerSlam, the Dudley Boyz will take on Kidman and London for the tag titles while Spike faces Mysterio with the Cruiserweight belt on the line. Well, you won't have to wait until then to see these men face each other as we have a special preview match tonight on SmackDown!

Kurt Angle dug himself into a whole he couldn't get out of last week, as Theodore Long booked him in a match on this week's show. Angle still doesn't know who his opponent is, but we here at WWE.com have learned from General Manager Long himself that Angle's opponent will be none other than Big Show, who was attacked on Velocity alongside John Cena on Velocity.

And in the main event, Booker T faces Rob Van Dam in the US Title tournament! The winner of this match will move on to SummerSlam to face John Cena with the title on the line but nobody is sure who's going to get the victory here. RVD has already said that he's hungry for gold, but so is Booker T who feels that he should be the Champion right now!

Tune in to SmackDown! this Thursday night and be prepared to Smack your TV! only on UPN at 8/7 CT.

08/07 Velocity Results

Taped from Houston, TX.

Devon Storm def. Joey Ryan with a Top-Rope Leg Drop at 5:14.

We review Teddy Long being announced as the new GM of SmackDown!

Backstage, Booker T is shown preparing for his match with Big Show and mumbling about how unfair it is.

Nunzio def. Johnny Jeter with the Sicillian Slice at 7:29

Clips of JBL beating Bob Holly is shown, as well as The Undertaker's cross burning.

Josh Matthews informs us that Eddie Guerrero was not on SmackDown! due to a illness in the family.

Charlie Haas def. Mark Jindrak with a Brainbuster at 4:02.

We see the Raw Rebound, featuring Eugene being destroyed by Evolution only for Chris Benoit to make the save.

Big Show def. Booker T via DQ when Luther Reigns interfered. Afterwards, John Cena made the save but was walloped by a chair shot from Kurt Angle!

Booker T v. Big Show. This match was made 'last week' by the new GM, Teddy Long because everyone is equal. The real reason is to boost Velocity ratings and from what I hear, it worked. Show seems to have dropped a few pounds and is alot more mobile now that he's had his knees scoped. Big brawl to start, with Show easily dominating until Booker hits a lowblow to slow things down. Booker goes for an early Scissors Kick, but Show counters with a Chokeslam! Or so he thinks as Booker gets a boot to the gut and wham, bam, thank you mam, it's the Scissors Kick for two. Booker can't believe it and neither can Josh Matthews, who almost wets himself. Booker goes old school and tries for a Book End, Rock Bottom, or whatever but he can't get Show up. Show winds up drilling Booker with an elbow and then throws him clear across the ring. It's chokeslam time, but here comes Luther Reigns and we get the Sportz Entertainment finish at 11:12. Reigns and Booker beat down on Show, but Cena appears to make the save! It seems to be working, until former GM Angle appears and levels Cena with a chair. Velocity ends with Angle, Booker, and Reigns posing atop the fallen bodies of Cena and Show. I'll give this **½ for being surprisingly decent, although the ending takes off from it.

Velocity received a 3.04 rating, due to the hype around this week's show.

SmackDown!

The show begins with no credits or opening montage -- just Vince McMahon and several well dressed business men standing in the ring. The crowd is on their feet as the camera pans back to reveal the canvas covered in red carpet and all of the SmackDown! superstars spread around the ring. McMahon eyes the crowd with a smirk and it's obvious that this is big. Cole and Tazz aren't speaking and all you can hear is the crowd. McMahon brings the microphone to his lips and pauses momentarily, allowing the crowd to quite before he begins. Finally, Cole manages to welcome us as McMahon begins.

“Thank you. Thank you, very much.” More cheers and McMahon simply smiles. “You know, the rumors of who the new GM of Smackdown is have been flying around everywhere. The locker rooms, the internet, and even the WWE offices. Nobody knows but me, these men you see behind me, and the man that shall become the General Manager tonight. As you see, I have the contract right here and once this is signed, it will be official.” McMahon picks up the papers and holds them into the air, with the WWE logo very much noticeable. “Before I announce the new General Manager, I'd just like to inform you of why I decided to make this man GM. You see, over the past year, this man has shown leadership qualities. He has lead a very successful stable on Raw, before being traded to Smackdown and handles authority very well. He was even General Manager on Raw for one day. He knows how to take care of the workers here on Smackdown and he's very business like. I'm proud to have him on board and I'm proud to have him as GM.”

Vince pauses and the crowd explodes as Cole and Tazz tease to the viewer's at him. It's obvious now who it is, if you've watched the WWE within the past year. Still, McMahon waits just a while longer to announce it; milking the fans for all they're worth.

“This man knows how to handle power. This man knows how to handle the pressures of being General Manager. And this man. This man can lead Smackdown into a new era. This man… this man is Theodore R. Long!” The crowd goes nuts and the camera pans around the arena to show several "Belie Dat, playa" signs as we hear the opening sounds of Long's music. Long steps out onto the rampway in a very fancy suit, smirking to the crowd as he heads down to the ring. Entering quickly, Long does a quick dance for the fans before turning to shake hands with Vince. Long also acknowledges the business men behind Vince and plays to the crowd some more, before retreaving the microphone from Vince.

“Thank you, very much. It's been awhile since any of you saw me and the last time you did, I was a very bitter man. I constantly told you of the struggles to keep the black man down. But you know what? The black man -- that being me -- has been given a chance to shine. Theodore Long has been given a responsibility of upholding the values of Smackdown and let me tell you playa. I will do that. You see, there's a new phrase on Smackdown now. Long is Strong, playa. And let me tell you. I am indeed, strong. So here's a quick warning to all the guys in the back. I ain't no pushover and you ain't gonna push me around. I'm not Kurt Angle and I ain't gonna play favorites. You all get an equal opportunity. From this point on, things are gettin' shook up. You're gonna see people on Smackdown you ain't ever seen before. These guys are gonna have to FIGHT for their spots on my show.”

The crowd cheers and Long nods as the camera pans around ringside, showing the expressions on the wrestler's faces. The camera cuts back to Long. “Cuz I know that all of you are sick and tired of seeing the same people every week. I'm like Martin Luther King, playa. I HAVE A DREAM! I have a dream that one day, everyone on Smackdown will be equal. So Vince, let's sign these papers.”

McMahon nods and they both turn to the table, where Vince hands Long a pen. But just as Long is about to sign the papers, the beats of Kurt Angle's music hits and the fans go from cheering to booing. Angle slowly heads out onto the rampway with Luther Reigns and a whole horde of bodyguards at his side. Angle is still on crutches, playing up to his 'injury.' Pausing at the top of the rampway, Angle brings a mic to his lips and speaks.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut the damn music and let me talk! Vince, you're making a big mistake. This isn't the man you want as General Manager of Smackdown. For godsakes, he doesn't even know proper english. Ain't isn't a word, Mr. Long. Sorry, 'playa.' Vince, please don't do this. It's a huge mistake. I was a good GM. You guys agree right?” Angle points at the wrestlers around the ring and we see several smirks. Back to Angle. “Okay, forget you guys then. Vince, I'm the man for this job. I shouldn't be a wrestler. I'm injured! I was lucky to regain my ability to walk. And I need to be Genera-…”

But Long cuts in. “Hold it right there. Kurt, gimme a second alright?” Long puts the mic down momentarily and begins to sign the papers, causing Kurt to attempt a dash for the ring. Reigns holds him back though and it's obvious he would've never made it by the looks of the wrestlers surrounding the ring. Long finishes signing the papers and turns back to Angle. “Alright, now then. Kurt, I understand your hostility. No one likes to lose a job but playa, you just weren't good enough. You didn't thug and bug like Teddy Long. So now that I'm the official GM of Smackdown, here's what I'm gonna do. You already got a match with Eddie Guerrero at SummerSlam. So here's the thing. If you can beat a mystery opponent next week on Smackdown, I'll let you pick the stipulation of your match with Eddie. Whateva you want, playa. Hell in a Cell, Street Fight… it don't matter. Alright? We cool?”

Angle looks at Reign and grins. “Yeah, Teddy. We are cool. Oh yeah. We are defiantly cool.” Angle smirks once more and backs up the rampway, heading into the back as we go to a commercial break to get the ring ready for action.

Segment Rating - 80%

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We return with Kurt Angle and Booker T in Angle's office, discussing the US title. Angle has Luther Reigns at the door and still seems to have held on to his office, despite being fired as the General Manager. Booker and Angle talk about the whole US title situation being unfair and plot about next week's match with Rob Van Dam and tonight's match between John Cena and Rene Dupree. Suddenly though, there's a comotion at the door and it suddenly opens to reveal Theodore Long with Mark Henry at his side! Angle begins to yell at Long to leave, but Long simply smirks and holds off Henry.

“You leave, playa. You ain't the GM no more. I am. And this is my office, sucka. So take all your belongings and run off. Ya feelin' me playa?” Long smirks and Angle begins to say something, before looking at Mark Henry who growls. He gulps and points towards the door to Booker.

“Okay, okay. That's fine. I didn't like this office anyway. You can have it. Just let me get my stuff, okay?” Angle barely finishes his sentence when Long cuts in. “Don't worry, playa. We'll ship it to ya. Get out of here.” Angle again tries to mantain his ground, but looking at Henry seems to scare him alittle too much. “Okay. Bye, Mr. Long.” Angle rushes out with Booker, Reigns, and his bodyguard in toe as Long looks at Henry.

“Go ahead, playa.” With that, Henry rips the Undisputed Title from the wall and tosses it out the door along with all of Kurt's other belongings, including his gold medals! We hear Kurt screaming outside and the camera pans out to reveal Kurt picking up his items, on the verge of crying.

Segment Rating - 87%

“Fans, if you're just now tuning in, you missed what could of been the biggest announcement in Smackdown history! Teddy Long was announced as the new General Manager and has already made an impact, booking Angle against a mystery opponent on next week's show with a stipulation that if Angle wins, he gets to pick the type of match he'll have with Eddie Guerrero at SummerSlam. What a shocking twist of events, Tazz.”

“Oh yeah, Cole. Like I told you last week, it had to be Teddy Long. There was no one else it could be.”

“WHAT?! You said it was Kurt Angle, Tazz.”

“I did no such thing. Uhh, let's get to the ring for some mat action. No need for us to argue.”

“Yeah, that's a way to tell it Tazz. But even with all these announcements, let's get things underway. Here we go!”

WWE Cruiserweight Title - Spike Dudley vs. Ultimo Dragon

The match is underway when Dudley levels Dragon from behind with the Cruiserweight title before the match begins, evading disqualification. As the bell rings, Dudley pins Dragon but he gets out just before three! Pulling Ultimo up, Dudley whips him into the ropes and tries for a Dropkick but Dragon holds on to the ropes and Dudley gets nothing but air. Ultimo drills Dudley with a stiff kick to the jaw as he stands and then goes for the pin, but it only gets two. The two fight across the ring, exchanging fists until Spike drills Dragon in the chest with a knee. Spike then hits Dragon across the top of the head with a boot, knocking him down. Spike tries for another pin but Dragon rolls him over into a schoolboy for the close two! Dudley quickly rolls out for a breather, but Ultimo doesn't let that happen and instead hits a nice Springboard to the outside. Back in the ring, Dragon tries for a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker, but Spike gets out of it and hits a DDT instead. Dudley goes for an aerial assault maneuver with a Crossbody, but takes two boots to the gut instead as Ultimo gets a dropkick out of nowhere! The match begins to wind down and Dragon seems to have it in the bag, calling for the end. However, D-Von and Bubba Ray hit the ring and distract Dragon long enough for Spike to get the rollup and a handfull of the tights for the win at 5:10! Afterwards, the Dudleyz begin to beat away at Ultimo until Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman, and Paul London hit the ring and cleans house!

Winner: Still Champion, Spike Dudley

Rating: 62, 57, 67, **

But before the Dudleyz can even leave ringside, Theodore Long's music hits and the new GM appears on the rampway with a microphone in hand. He halts the Dudleyz and quites the fans, speaking to them. “Hold it just a minute, playa's. Spike, I saw what happened last week and you ain't very much of a deserving Champion.” Spike just smirks, and holds the title up. “Neither are you, D-Von and Bubba. So here's what I'm gonna do.”

Long points at Kidman and London. “You two. You get a shot at the Tag Titles at Summerslam. And you.” He points at Rey Mysterio. “You get a shot at the Cruiserweight title. They'll be no interference in either match and if there is, I'll make sure you're suspended with no pay, playa's. Got it? I hope so.” Long turns and heads for the back as the Dudleyz and Spike have a tantrum, not liking this announcement at all.

Segment Rating - 71%

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Heidenreich w/ Paul Heyman vs. Tommy Dreamer, Orlando Jordan, Shannon Moore

Heidenreich enters to an ominous drumbeat; no facial expressions whatsoever as he flexes his muscles, listening to Heyman's gameplan. Dreamer, Jordan, and Moore easily begin to beat on Heidenreich, but are suddenly thrown a seperate way by Heidenreich, who looks at Heyman and screams, his veins bulging. Dreamer comes at Heidenreich and gets destroyed with a clothesline. The same fate comes to Jordan and Moore who are both hit with a stiff clothesline at the same time. Heidenreich pulls Orlando Jordan up and hits a Gorilla Press Slam easily, before booting Moore in the gut and nailing a Stalling Suplex. Dreamer rushes at Heidenreich and gets bodyslammed in the process. As Jordan stands, he stumbles right into a Chokeslam from Heidenreich to end the match at 3:21. Afterwards, Heyman raises Heidenreich's arm into the air as the crowd boos and officials help the three men to the back.

Winner: Heidenreich

Rating: 61, 53, 69, *½

“Dear god, Heidenreich just destroyed those three men in under 4 minutes. What a monster!”

“Like I said, Cole. I saw him down in OVW a few weeks ago and he destroyed their finest wrestler. It's awful that Tommy, Shannon, and Orlando had to be fed to this monster but let me tell you. This is just the beginning of Heidenreich.”

We go backstage to find Theodore Long in his new office, with a picture of him already hung on the wall. Long is discussing something with Mark Henry when Booker T enters the room and stands face to face with the much bigger Mark Henry. He gulps and shakes his head. “Hey man, I ain't got no beef. I just need to talk with Long. That alright?” Henry looks at Long, who nods and he then steps out of the way. Booker immediately begins on Long.

“Yo, man. We go back, right? We got traded together from Raw and I saw you all the time preaching about how the man was holding us down. Well you know what Teddy? You're the man now and things have gotta' change. See, I'm all for this equal opportunity thing. It gives me an opportunity to win the US title, you dig? Kurt and I have already discussed things and we both see fit that it would be the best for the company and the US title if you made sure that Booker T won the title. You see what I'm saying?” Long nods. “Alright, good. So can you do this for me?”

Long looks at Booker, then to Henry and smiles. “Well, Booker. You see, maybe you don't understand equal opportunity. Equal opportunity is what I'm giving to everybody -- white, black, chinese, indian… whatever. Everybody's equal in my eyes. So no, Booker. I won't make sure you win the title. But I will do you one better. I'll give you a match on Velocity.”

Booker laughs. “Velocity?! Haha, that's funny sucka. Velocity is for them nobodies. I ain't wrestling on Velocity.” But long cuts him off.

“Well, you can wrestle on Velocity or be taken out of the US title tournament.” Long smiles and Booker shakes his head. “Okay, okay. I'll fight on Velocity. So who's my opponent? Shannon Moore? Orlando Jordan? Cuz I don't think they'll make it to Velocity after what just happened. Haha.”

Long stands up and comes around to put his hand on Booker's shoulder. “No, my brother. Your opponent is… the Big Show.” The look on Booker's face is priceless.

“Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Teddy!?” The crowd goes nuts as Long smiles and pats Booker's shoulder once more. “Good luck, my brother. Love, peace, and hairgrease. Now get the hell out of my office!”

Booker slowly stands and stumbles out of Teddy's office, before getting the door slammed right in his face.

Segment Rating - 87%

Back in the ring, John Bradshaw Layfield's large white limo is already pulling down to the ring. As it stops, the driver steps out and opens the door for JBL, who is finally in the limo for once it seems. He waves to the fans and holds the Undisputed title into the air which still has some of the Undertaker's blood on it. Making his way down to the ring, JBL enters quickly and takes a microphone, bringing it to his lips and speaking above the crowd's boos.

“Well thank you so much. I'm glad to be home, back in Texas. Though it would be better if we weren't in this dump they call Houston.” Cheap heat and it looks amazingly. “Shut up. If you don't like me, go watch the Astro's play. Or maybe the Texans. Haha.” More heat. “Anyway, let me get to my point. It seems that Bob Holly wants a piece of JBL and I'll gladly give it to him. I guess he didn't see what I did to the Undertaker last week. I manhandled him. I destroyed him. And as you can see, I left him in a bloody mess.”

He raises the title into the air, pointing at the Undertaker's blood spread across it. “So Bob Holly, if you want a match with JBL, you got it. Come on out!”

Segment Rating - 72%

COMMERCIAL BREAK

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bob Holly

We return to find the match already underway, with JBL stomping away at Holly in the corner. We see a quick shot of JBL hitting a lowblow on Holly during the break and it's back to the current action. Holly tries to make a comeback, but JBL knees him in the gut and stops that. JBL then whips Holly into the ropes and tries for a Big Boot, but he ducks and Holly hits a dropkick off the rebound! Holly quickly stands and yells out to the crowd, hitting another dropkick as JBL stands. Holly goes for the pin but it's only enough for two. As Holly is pulling Layfield up, he takes a cheap shot to the gut that causes him to double over. Bradshaw then bounces off the ropes and returns with a stiff Clothesline from Hell! Standing, he smirks and toys with Holly some more before ending the match at 7:15 with a Powerbomb.

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield

Rating: 76, 75, 78, **¼

JBL retreaves his Undisputed title and raises it into the air but as he's celebrating, the lights go off and we get a shot of JBL standing in the ring in shock. The Undertaker's symphony of death echos over the P/A system and as JBL watches on, a large 'Taker symbol descends from the sky. As it stops just above JBL's limo, the symbol suddenly bursts into flames, lighting up the arena! JBL thinks things are done, but a flame suddenly shoots down and catches his limo on fire! JBL screams for the fire to be put out and exits the ring quickly as officials appear with fire extinguishers. Still, things aren't over for JBL. The Titan-TRON lights up to show a clip of the Undertaker sitting in a massive throne with small demons carved all in it. He points right at JBL, who looks around and shakes his head almost on the verge of tears. “SummerSlam. You will meet your in and the Undisputed title will be mine. JBL, you will. Rest… in… PEACEEE!”

The lights go out again and as they return, JBL is already running into the back. Camera's follow him out to the parking lot, where he grabs a man about to get into his car and tosses him aside before climbing in, turning the ignition on, and speeding off into the night!

Segment Rating - 82%

“The Undertaker has scared JBL to the bone and look at him run!”

“Cole, it's mindgames. If 'Taker keeps this up, JBL won't even be able to compete come SummerSlam. He'll be a nervous wreck.”

“Well, we're going to take a quick commercial break to allow officials enough time to get JBL's scorched limo out of the way for the main event! Stay tuned.”

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Main Event - John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

We return to find Rene Dupree making his entrance, waving a French flag much to the crowd's hatred. In the heart of Texas, Dupree is lucky the fans aren't rioting to trample him and the flag! Please post the number 77 if you're reading this if you decide to reply. Don't tell anyone why. Just a quick poll. Dupree enters the ring and attempts to berate the fans on the microphone, but is quickly cut off by Cena's music. Cena struts out onto the rampway in a pair of blue jean shorts and a Texans jersey, getting him some cheap pops. Making his way down to the ring, Cena enters and the match is underway quickly. The two lock up as the bell sounds and it's Cena who gains the advantage, bringing Dupree down into a headlock before pushing him into the ropes. Upon his return, Dupree is floored by a stiff elbow. Cena pulls Dupree up quickly and throws him over into the corner where he begins to nail him with fists. Dupree manages to rake Cena across the eyes though and then climbs onto the middle ropes, leaping off with a Double Ax Handle smash. Off the ropes comes Dupree for a leg drop and he goes for the pin but it only gets him two. As Dupree pulls Cena up, he tries to go for a Piledriver but Cena instead rushes him backwards into the corner and then just nails him with fists and chops. Dupree stumbles out and then turns right into a flying forearm from Cena, who gets two. As he stands, Cena calls for the end and tries the F-U, who Dupree shoves him into the referee instead! At this point, Booker T hits the ring with a chair in hand and wallops Cena. Booker then nails a Scissors Kick and exits as quick as he came, allowing Dupree to hit a Fisherman's Suplex for the win at 9:29. But as Dupree is celebrating, Teddy Long appears on the rampway and orders the match restarted due to Booker's interference! Dupree then turns right into a boot from Cena and the two go at it for a good two minutes before Cena hits the F-U for the actual victory at 14:15. Cena moves on to SummerSlam but as he's celebrating, is suddenly attacked from behind by Booker and Dupree.

Winner: John Cena

Rating: 77, 77, 78, ***

The beating continues until…

WEEEELLLLLLL

WEEELLLLLL, IT'S THE BIG SHOW

The crowd explodes in cheer's as The Big Show's mammoth body appears from behind the curtains. Instead of running, Booker and Dupree prepare for the Big Show to enter the ring. As he does, they both go at him but get taken down! Show takes it to Dupree and has him up for a Chokeslam when Booker hits him with a chair. Show drops Dupree and turns; the chair having no effect on him! Show then shoves Booker around and right into an F-U from Cena while he Chokeslams Dupree! Smackdown then goes off the air with Show and Cena staring at each other, putting their bad blood aside seemingly.

SD! QUALITY: 75%

SD RATING: 5.37

Nappy Roots.

Oops, sorry.

'GOVERNMENT MAN, you lucky that my TOUR BUS got delayed.

Otherwise I would've knocked YOUR ASS INTO THE FIRE PIT.

Trying to get on my HELL IS COMING REMIX BUT I TOLD YOU NO

I only do tracks with PUNKERS THAT PUNK

And PUNKERS know, in the MOSH I'M THE MOSHIEST

so WHY WOULD I PUNK WITH A FAKE PUNKER?'

You understand now?

Most punk singers just do it because it's the cool thing to do. Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, and whoever else is on the Rock Against Bush album don't really care about Bush. They just 'rock against' him because it's the hip thing to do.

Hey kids, the new cool thing to do is vote for Ralph Nader. Bitches.

You guys need to here TI's diss to Lil Flip and then Lil Flip's response. He killed TI.

'Nigga, you lucky that my plane got delayed.

Otherwise I would've knocked ya ass off da stage.

Trying to get on my Game Over Remix but I told you no

I only do tracks with niggaz I think dope

And niggaz know, in the streets I'm the hardest

so why the fuck would I diss a gold artist?'

Both these CD's suck. Let's not Rock Against Bush, let's Rock Against Politics. I always thought punk was supposed to be anti-government, not anti-president.

Right about now NWA court is in full effect.

Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.

Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren Ice Cube and Eazy muthafuckin E.

Order order order. Ice Cube take the muthafuckin stand.

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth

and nothin but the truth so help your black ass?

Why don't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?

Fuck tha police

Comin straight from the underground

Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown

And not the other color so police think

They have the authority to kill a minority

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one

For a punk muthafucka with a badge and a gun

To be beatin on, and throwin in jail

We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell

Fuckin with me cuz I'm a teenager

With a little bit of gold and a pager

Searchin my car, lookin for the product

Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics

You'd rather see me in the pen

Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo

Beat tha police outta shape

And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape

To tape off the scene of the slaughter

Still can't swallow bread and water

I don't know if they fags or what

Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts

And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none

But don't let it be a black and a white one

Cuz they slam ya down to the street top

Black police showin out for the white cop

Ice Cube will swarm

On any muthafucka in a blue uniform

Just cuz I'm from the CPT, punk police are afraid of me

A young nigga on a warpath

And when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath

Of cops, dyin in LA

Yo Dre, I got somethin to say

Fuck the police

M. C. Ren, will you please give your testimony to the jury about this fucked up incident.

Fuck tha police and Ren said it with authority

because the niggaz on the street is a majority.

A gang, is with whoever I'm stepping

and the motherfuckin' weapon

is kept in a stash box, for the so-called law

wishin' Ren was a nigga that they never saw

Lights start flashin behind me

But they're scared of a nigga so they mace me to blind me

But that shit don't work, I just laugh

Because it gives em a hint not to step in my path

To the police I'm sayin fuck you punk

Readin my rights and shit, it's all junk

Pullin out a silly club, so you stand

With a fake assed badge and a gun in your hand

But take off the gun so you can see what's up

And we'll go at it punk, I'ma fuck you up

Make ya think I'm a kick your ass

But drop your gat, and Ren's gonna blast

I'm sneaky as fuck when it comes to crime

But I'm a smoke em now, and not next time

Smoke any muthafucka that sweats me

Or any assho that threatens me

I'm a sniper with a hell of a scope

Takin out a cop or two, they can't cope with me

The muthafuckin villian that's mad

With potential to get bad as fuck

So I'm a turn it around

Put in my clip, yo, and this is the sound

Ya, somethin like that, but it all depends on the size of the gat

Takin out a police would make my day

But a nigga like Ren don't give a fuck to say

Fuck the police

Police, open now. We have a warrant for Eazy-E's arrest.

Get down and put your hands up where I can see em.

Just shut the fuck up and get your muthafuckin ass on the floor.

[huh?]

and tell the jury how you feel abou this bullshit.>

I'm tired of the muthafuckin jackin

Sweatin my gang while I'm chillin in the shackin

Shining tha light in my face, and for what

Maybe it's because I kick so much butt

I kick ass, or maybe cuz I blast

On a stupid assed nigga when I'm playin with the trigga

Of any Uzi or an AK

Cuz the police always got somethin stupid to say

They put up my picture with silence

Cuz my identity by itself causes violence

The E with the criminal behavior

Yeah, I'm a gansta, but still I got flavor

Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?

A sucka in a uniform waitin to get shot,

By me, or another nigga.

and with a gat it don't matter if he's smarter or bigger

[MC Ren: Sidle him, kid, he's from the old school, fool]

And as you all know, E's here to rule

Whenever I'm rollin, keep lookin in the mirror

And there's no cue, yo, so I can hear a

Dumb muthafucka with a gun

And if I'm rollin off the 8, he'll be tha one

That I take out, and then get away

And while I'm drivin off laughin

This is what I'll say

Fuck the police

The jury has found you guilty of bein a redneck,

whitebread, chickenshit muthafucka.

Wait, that's a lie. That's a goddamn lie.

I want justice! I want justice!

Fuck you, you black muthafucka!

Fuck the police

MSNBC is just as biased against Bush.

I don't watch MTV for politcal things but they air it every hour on MTV News. 10 to the hour, every hour!

I read that Smurf was his bodyguard or something along those lines and formed G-Unit with other gangsters and ran drugs and all the stuff 50 raps about. But anyone who can be shot 8 times and not even cry is hella cool in my book.

Don't listen to NAIWF. He sucks. Just kidding, I love ya. Gimme a hug. I won't grope ya.

And I just noticed those two accounts. Hopefully they're not yours.