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WWE: For Better, or Worse

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Stokeriño has commandeered the WWE's #1 show, RAW. Notoriously lazy when it comes to creating and producing cards, this booker has promised to work entirely on the fly, with no afterthought as to what consequences may await him next week, let alone a month down the line. Colleague Brian Gerwitz has been said to have taken an instant liking to him.

TheonemankliQ intends to bring back Smackdown! to its former glory by taking over every aspect of the show. Even with the thunderous power to push people with talent to the moon where they belong and to de-push undeserving people to the bowels of hell, his work is cut out for him. Watch for JBL jobbing to Funaki in a city near you.

stokeriño OOC: Summerslam was booked last week, so let's pretend that this week's RAW or SmackDown didn't happen the way they did IRL, mmkay?


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Event Recap

Sunday Night HEAT Main Event

Trish Stratus © vs. Victoria

WWE Woman's Championship

For weeks a mysterious woman had been aiding Victoria in her matches, and Trish was getting sick of it. To make matters worse, when Trish's 'partner' Christian returned from injury a week ago, the mysterious woman interfered to cost him his comeback match as well! Christian accompanied Trish to ringside for this title defence, ever on the lookout for the accomplice.

As expected, the mystery woman did make her appearance, sneaking into the ring and attacking Trish during the match. The referee was typically distracted, so Christian took it upon himself to take the intruder out. He wrestled the stranger off of Trish and threw her to the outside. Victoria got in his way, attempting to stop him from attacking her helper further, but Christian just knocked her down. Unfortunately the referee DID see that and called for the bell, meaning that Victoria won the match via disqualification. Meanwhile, Christian and Trish were intent on finding out just who this woman was. Trish pulled off her wig to reveal...Steven Richards?! Christian and Trish were so taken aback by this revelation that it gave Richards the chance he needed to grab Victoria and make their way out of there, leaving Christian and Trish somewhat bewildered to say the least...

WWE SUMMERSLAM 15th August 2004

Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Booker T vs. Kenzo Suzuki vs. Rene Dupree vs. Rob Van Dam

WWE United States Championship

The vacant US Title was up for grabs after SmackDown! General Manager Kurt Angle had stripped John Cena of the belt a few weeks back. Angle had refused to allow Cena this chance to reclaim the title, giving his place in the match to Kenzo Suzuki instead.

It had been speculated before the match that the other competitors might join forces to take the dangerous RVD out of the running early on, but egos got in the way when Dupree tried to steal a cover on Van Dam which prompted Booker T to break up the fall. Booker and Dupree started arguing, until Dupree hit Booker with a cheap shot! Dupree tried to take advantage of this situation, only for him and Booker to be simultaneously flattened by Suzuki. Suzuki used his size and power to slow the pace of the match, dominating over the other two competitors until RVD came flying in with a flying kick off the top rope! RVD tried to capitalise, but Booker cut him off. Tossing RVD out of the ring, Booker started to pick apart Suzuki and Dupree, eventually hitting Suzuki with the Scissors Kick! Unfortunately for Booker, Dupree was there to break up the pinfall. Dupree took Booker down with the Bonsoir, and even did a little of the Dupree Dance for the crowd! However he was suddenly taken out by a crossbody from RVD! RVD built momentum, hitting Dupree with the Rolling Thunder, and dropkicking Booker in the back of the head to knock him over the ropes and out of the ring. He then ducked a Suzuki clothesline, and hit him with a Spinning Wheel Kick in return. He leapt up to the tope rope - Five Star Frog Splash on Suzuki! Booker T scrambled over to try and break up the fall, but he was too late. Rob Van Dam pinned Kenzo Suzuki to become the new WWE United States Champion.

La Resistance © vs. Rhyno and Tajiri

World Tag Team Championship

The relatively new team of Rhyno and Tajiri took on the World Tag Team champions in the hope of securing their first taste of championship gold since being brought to RAW several months ago.

Despite questions being asked surrounding the effectiveness of Rhyno and Tajiri as a team, they managed to work as quite a cohesive unit, using their power and speed advantages respectively to dominate the tag team champions in the early going. Tajiri hooked Conway into the ropes with the Tarantula, but got clobbered on the back of the head by an incoming Grenier. The French duo started putting the boots to the Japanese Buzzsaw, trying to wear him down. Rhyno tried to make the save but the referee held him back - which of course allowed for MORE double teaming from the champions. Every time Tajiri tried to make the tag he found himself pulled back out of the reach and subjected to more brutal beatdowns as the champions systematically picked the challenger apart. However eventually Tajiri countered a Grenier suplex, and they both took each other down with dual clotheslines. The race was on for the tag, and in came Rhyno! Rhyno laid waste to both Conway - who had also been tagged in - and Grenier with a series of clotheslines and powerslams. Knocking Conway down, he stalked him for the Gore. Grenier tried to stop him, but Tajiri cut him off. A couple of chops, and Tajiri went for the Buzzsaw Kick - but Grenier ducked, and Tajiri's foot swung round to strike Rhyno in the back of the head! While Grenier grabbed Tajiri and dragged him out of the ring, Conway snuck up behind the dazed Rhyno and rolled him up for the pin - with his feet on the ropes for leverage! Rob Conway pinned Rhyno to retain the World Tag Team Championship for La Resistance.

After the match, the champions grabbed their belts and scarpered as quickly as they could manage, leaving Tajiri and Rhyno lying in the ring. Rhyno got to his feet, and went out to ringside, grabbing a steel chair! Sliding back in, he looked down at Tajiri, and wasted no time laying into him with the steel! Rhyno was furious, blaming Tajiri for their loss. Such a beating wasn't enough, as Rhyno jammed the steel chair in-between the turnbuckle, and - after setting Tajiri up in front of it - gave him a Gore into the steel chair and turnbuckle!!

Just then hordes of security poured out of the back, along with RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff. Eric said that Rhyno was like a dangerous animal, and a threat to both the superstars in the back and every member of the public in this arena! He ordered that Rhyno be expelled from the building, and Rhyno was escorted away under guard.

Paul London and Billy Kidman © vs. The Dudley Boyz

WWE Tag Team Championship

In a rematch from when they first won the belts, Paul London and Billy Kidman put them on the line against the 18 time tag team champions, Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley.

The tag team champions utilised their speed and skill to keep the challengers from gaining a foothold in the match, pulling off numerous double team moves in an effort to isolate D-Von Dudley. London took him down with a Flying Headscissors, which set him up in front of the turnbuckle for Kidman to leap off with the Shooting Star Press...! But D-Von moved out of the way at the last moment and Kidman hit nothing but canvas. This gave D-Von the opportunity to make the tag out to Bubba Ray, and Bubba came in to put the boots to the grounded Billy Kidman. The size and strength of Bubba started to come into its own as he delivered numerous high impact moves to the cruiserweight. He went for the cover after a Sidewalk Slam but Kidman just managed to kick out. London tried to help his partner, but ironically his distraction kept the referee occupied while the Dudleyz delivered the Whazzup? headbutt to Kidman. D-Von tagged in for the pin but London dropkicked him in the back of the head to break the fall. D-Von got in London's face, threatening to punch him out, but got blindsided by Kidman! Kidman leapt past D-Von to make the tag, and London was in! London picked up the pace, bouncing D-Von back and forth across the ring with Hip Tosses, Hurricanranas, and Dropkicks! Bubba tried to interfere, but London reversed an Irish Whip - sending Bubba right into the referee! London then kicked Bubba to send him over the top rope. With D-Von down in the ring, London ascended the turnbuckle, signalling for the London Calling! But wait - suddenly Paul Heyman appeared! Sneaking up behind London, he shoved him off the top turnbuckle, causing him to land neck-first on the top rope! As London staggered backwards, the Dudleyz were ready. 3-D!! Heyman slapped the referee awake as D-Von made the cover. D-Von Dudley pinned Paul London to make the Dudley Boyz the new WWE Tag Team Champions.

Paul Heyman joined the Dudley Boyz in victory inside the ring as Paul London and Billy Kidman rued their loss on the outside.

Edge © vs. Randy Orton

WWE Intercontinental Championship

Following his loss last month at Vengeance, Randy Orton looked to regain "his" Intercontinental Title by beating Edge here at Summerslam.

Orton's Evolution comrade Batista joined him at ringside for this match, and the odds seemed stacked in favour of the challenger. The two men started off exchanging holds, but such indications of a technical bout soon fell away when Orton hit Edge with a stiff kick to the gut, turning the match into a brawl. Orton looked to be getting the upper hand (with the help of periodic interference from Batista), but Edge would kick out of any pinning attempt. The action became a little more even handed from there on in, with Edge managing to lock in the Edgucation for a good stretch before Randy finally managed to get to the bottom rope. The match ended with Orton hitting an RKO, but the referee was kept waiting by Batista's inadvertent distractions, so it took him a good five or six seconds to start the count - and Edge just managed to kick out. Naturally, Orton was furious, and he threatened to take it out on the referee. Turned around into the Spear, and Edge got the Pin with a Bridge for the win. Edge pinned Randy Orton to retain the Intercontinental championship.

Eddie Guerrero and John Cena vs. Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns

Ever since Kurt Angle became the new General Manager of SmackDown!, he'd been making life hell for some of the superstars on the SmackDown! roster. With his bodyguard Luther Reigns as his insurance, Angle not only stripped John Cena of the United States title, but also interfered in Eddie Guerrero's cage match to cost him the chance of regaining the WWE championship! Angle decided that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself, so he returned to the ring for the first time in many weeks in order to face Eddie and Cena in a tag team match.

One of the better matches of the night with Eddie and Kurt taking up the majority of the ring time. Kurt was particularly dominant in his first match this summer, delivering numerous suplexes to both Eddie and Cena, and getting quite a few close falls. Cena managed to hit an F-U on Luther in the middle of the match, but Kurt broke up the cover before the count of three. After this, Cena made the tag out to Eddie - but the referee, who had been busy pushing Kurt back to his corner, didn't see it and ordered Eddie back out as well. This allowed Kurt and Luther to double team Cena and start picking him apart. However Cena landed on his feet from a Luther backdrop and hit him with a DDT! Both men crawled towards their corners to make the tag...and in came Eddie! Kurt tagged in as well and they both started brawling in the middle of the ring. Eddie gained the upper hand and managed to hit the Triple Suplexes! He then called out "Viva la Raza!" and climbed to the top rope, going for the Frog Splash. However suddenly Kurt leapt up off the mat and with lightening speed launched Eddie off the top rope with a massive Superplex!! The move took a lot out of both men, but Kurt managed to slowly drape an arm over Eddie - 1...2...Eddie kicked out!!

The straps came down and Kurt meant business, putting Eddie in the Anklelock. Eddie struggled for the ropes but Kurt pulled him back towards the centre of the ring. Eddie looked close to tapping...when Kurt spotted Cena on the ring apron, and he had Kurt's gold medals!! Kurt dropped Eddie and went over to take his medals back. Cena teased him for a bit, holding them out of his reach, and when Kurt made a grab for them he jumped down off the apron. Kurt was about to go after him, when suddenly Eddie grabbed him from behind for the roll-up! The referee counted the fall, as Eddie had his feet on the ropes! 1...2...3! Eddie Guerrero pinned Kurt Angle to win the match.

Eddie and Cena left up the ramp and went backstage, while Kurt still sat in disbelief in the ring. He argued with the referee about Eddie using the ropes, but the referee insisted that he never saw it. Kurt looked about ready to knock the referee out...when suddenly out came none other than Linda McMahon!!

Linda explained that since Kurt had now proven himself to be fully fit and able to return to the active roster, there was no need to encumber him with the position of GM. Therefore as of now, Kurt Angle was no longer the General Manager of SmackDown! Angle looked shocked, but there was more. Linda introduced the NEW General Manager of SmackDown!...Paul Heyman!! Linda returned to the back as Heyman emerged with a big grin on his face...and Kurt looked like his was about to be sick. Heyman advised everyone to tune in to SmackDown this Thursday, where they will witness the dawn of a NEW ERA! And since this is the beginning of a New Era - the Paul E. Heyman Era - for SmackDown, it was always customary to do away with the relics of the Old Era, so as to accelerate the transformation. With that in mind, as his first action as the new GM - Kurt Angle, the previous GM, is FIRED!! Kurt and Luther looked like they were going to explode as Heyman chuckled and returned from whence he came.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Special Guest Referee = Lita

"Love Her or Leave Her" match - Loser Leaves RAW

With the ongoing question as to just who was the father of Lita's baby, Kane and Matt Hardy faced off again inside the squared circle, only this time Lita herself would be the special guest referee! Also, in a "Love Her or Leave Her" stipulation suggested by Matt and accepted by Kane, the loser of this match would be forced to leave RAW!

Kane started the match by intimidating Lita...in his usual creepy way...which allowed Matt to get the drop on him in the early goings. This didn't last too long however as Kane overpowered Matt and used high impact moves to decimate him. When Kane went for the cover, Lita made a somewhat slow and nervous count, but Matt managed to kick out anyway. Again Kane threatened Lita, telling her that she had better behave like a good little girl, or her boyfriend here will be missing the baby's birth in a coma! Kane went back to work on Matt, and it was more of the same for a great many minutes. Eventually, when Kane went for a running clothesline against Matt on the turnbuckle, Matt managed to move out of the way! Matt now used his speed to elude Kane's attacks - dodging this way and that, and focusing on Kane's left leg. He tried for the pin but Kane kicked out with authority! Despite the fact that he was now hobbling, Kane still managed to take Matt down with a one-armed powerslam. He went for Lita again, this time backing her into a corner, because he felt that her count on that last pin had been a little on the fast side. Lita dared him to attack her - because that would cause a disqualification and he'd be gone from RAW forever! Kane laughed, and planted a rough kiss on Lita! Lita flailed in disgust, and fell backwards coughing and spluttering when Kane finally let her go. Suddenly - THWACK - Matt Hardy hit Kane on the back with a steel chair! Kane turned around, and Matt hit him again, this time right on the forehead!! Kane went down, and Matt got ready for a third shot...when Lita took the chair away from him! Matt looked at Lita in confusion - was she really going to disqualify him?!? Lita walked over to where Kane lay face-up on the mat...and hit him with the chair herself!!! She then placed the chair on top of Kane, and instructed Matt to go up top. Matt climbed to the top rope and...Flying Leg Drop - driving the steel chair right into Kane!! Matt tossed the chair aside and hooked the leg, and Lita made the triumphant three count! Matt Hardy pinned Kane, forcing him to leave RAW forever! Lita and Matt celebrated ecstatically all the way up the ramp, exhilarated to finally be rid of Kane!

John Bradshaw Layfield © vs. The Undertaker

WWE Championship

Ever since JBL became the WWE Champion at the Great American Bash, he'd been walking around as if her were invincible. After defeating Eddie Guerrero in a Steel Cage match - with the help of General Manager Kurt Angle - JBL declared that there was no-one left on SmackDown! who could beat him. Up stepped The Undertaker! Despite insisting that he wasn't intimidated by 'Taker, JBL looked terrified whenever the Deadman would make his appearance. The question remained - would JBL be able to defeat The Undertaker?

JBL looked confident...that is, for all of the two minutes before the Undertaker's entrance music hit. The Deadman emerged and JBL looked scared for his life. He ran out of the ring, with Taker in pursuit. Sliding back in, JBL waited for Taker to follow and then started stomping away on him. This had little effect however, as Taker still rose up, grabbed JBL by the throat, and slammed him into the turnbuckle. The Undertaker then began to punish JBL - simply dominating him throughout the match, but not going for the pinfall. He even bust JBL open at one stage, causing blood to start streaming down the face of the champion. Eventually JBL managed to weasel his way out of one of Undertaker's grapples. He then pulled the referee in front of him as a human shield, so Undertaker hit the referee with an uppercut instead of him! JBL dived out of the ring, and scrambled underneath it for safety. Taker stood in the ring, looking down at where JBL had disappeared, when suddenly the champion emerged from the other side! Quickly grabbing his WWE title belt, JBL slid back in the ring and waited for Undertaker to turn around - before nailing him right between the eyes with the belt! Undertaker went down, and JBL grinned and held the belt up to the jeers of the crowd...but those boos suddenly turned to cheers when the Undertaker sat up behind him! JBL turned and froze in shock at the sight of this. He pleaded with him, but Undertaker was having none of it. He grabbed JBL by the throat - Chokeslam! But that wasn't enough - he picked JBL up and turned him upside down...Tombstone Piledriver!! Undertaker crossed JBL's arms across his chest as he made the pin - 1...2...3! The Undertaker pinned John Bradshaw Layfield to become the new WWE champion! There's a new reign of terror on SmackDown - the Phenom is the new WWE champion! Good God!

Chris Benoit © vs. Triple H

World Heavyweight Championship

Chris Benoit and Triple H had issues going all the way back to January, but now a new factor had entered the mix - Eugene. Triple H had played Eugene for many weeks, making him believe that he was his best friend, and that everybody else - including Chris Benoit - was just lying to him. The Cerebral Assassin had Eugene believing him for a while, even making him an "honorary member" of Evolution. But that all changed - in a match between Benoit and Eugene on RAW, Triple H left both men bloodied. He declared that he was never Eugene's friend, and that he would beat Chris Benoit at Summerslam to win back the World Heavyweight Title.

In many ways the match was better than their Vengeance encounter. It had been speculated all night whether Eugene might get involved in the match in some way. Let's cut to the last part of the match...

Despite a poor start, Chris Benoit had been slowly wearing down Triple H and he now looked to build this momentum into a crescendo. However an attempt to deliver a German Suplex was reversed as Triple H backed Benoit into the referee, slamming them both into the turnbuckle! With both Benoit and the referee temporarily down, this gave Triple H the opportunity to bring out the sledgehammer, but just as he was heading towards Benoit, Eugene appeared! He grabbed the sledgehammer, trying to take it away from Triple H, but the Game refused to let go. They tugged it back and forth, until suddenly it slipped from Eugene's grasp and flew back at Triple H, hitting him right in the chest! Eugene looked shocked as Hunter fell to the blow, and looked like he was about to cry - "even after all that Triple H has done to him, Eugene still doesn't like seeing anyone get hurt" JR explained on commentary. Benoit crawled over and draped an arm over Hunter...but the referee wasn't making the count. He was busy trying to get the weeping Eugene to exit the ring. Annoyed, Benoit got up and grabbed the referee, telling him to pay attention - but a low blow! Triple H hit Benoit with a low blow from behind! Staggering back to his feet, Hunter kicked Benoit in the gut...Pedigree! Triple H hit the Pedigree on Chris Benoit! He hooked the leg - 1...2...no!! Benoit kicked out of the Pedigree! Triple H couldn't believe it!!

Hunter was irate as he got back to his feet. He pushed the referee aside and yelled at Eugene, telling him to get out of his ring before he beats the hell out of him again. Understandably upset, Eugene shoved Triple H, who shoved him back. After Eugene shoved him for a second time, Hunter punched him in the face! Eugene went down, and Triple H picked him up and simply tossed him out of the ring! Hunter smirked at his own actions. Suddenly, Benoit came up behind him - German Suplex! And another! And a third! Benoit drew his thumb across his throat - it was time to end this now! He climbed to the top rope...Swandive Headbutt! But Triple H moved out of the way! Both men slowly got back to their feet - Triple H went for another Pedigree, but Benoit reversed it into the Crippler Crossface!! Unfortunately he couldn't quite get his arm locked in, and eventually Hunter managed to get up to his knees. He elbowed Benoit in the gut, forcing him to break the hold. He tried to whip Benoit into the ropes, but Benoit countered and held his ground. Benoit then whipped Triple H, but got reversed and sent into the ropes himself. Benoit rebounded back, ducked under Hunter's clothesline, came off the opposite rope...straight into a Pedigree! A second Pedigree out of nowhere! Triple H hooked the leg - 1...2...3! Triple H pinned Chris Benoit to become the new World Heavyweight champion! Evolution poured into the ring from the back as Benoit lay on the mat, and Eugene looked on distraught from the outside. Triple H is the World Heavyweight Champion...AGAIN!

RAW should be up sometime tomorrow.

Edited by stokeriño
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I liked the first show, for an un-hyped PPV it made sense and was booked very typical of WWE (like London and Kidman dropping the belts to the Dudleys). I'm glad JBL has lost the belt and I am now praying that you are planning on moving Kane to Smackdown and giving him the title - with a win over Taker. VERY promising start guys. Look forward to seeing more of this.

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WWE RAW 16/08/04

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John Labatt Center, London, Ontario, Canada

A video recap played featuring the RAW brand matches from last night’s Summerslam pay-per-view, including Rhyno’s attack on Tajiri and subsequent expulsion from the building, Edge retaining the Intercontinental Title, Matt Hardy defeating Kane, and Triple H winning the World Title for the ninth time.

“…Move it to the music yeah!”

Announcers: Jim Ross and Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler

JR: “Welcome everyone to London, Ontario for WWE RAW! I’m Jim Ross, alongside Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler, and we’re coming off the back of a monumental Summerslam!”

KING: “Monumental is right JR because Triple H is once again our World Heavyweight Champion! I’ve been waiting for this day for so long…!”

JR: “I’m sure you have…well speaking of the World Heavyweight Title, tonight we will decide the new Number One Contender as Chris Benoit faces Chris Jericho.”

KING: “Chris Benoit should be happy he’s walking after the beating he suffered at the hands of The Game last night, let alone able to compete in a match! Does he really just want to set it up so he’ll get beaten by Triple H again?”

JR: “Chris Benoit was a great World Heavyweight champion King, and he was damn unlucky to lose the title last night. I have to think that if he did challenge for the title again, Triple H could end up with more than he can handle.”

KING: “Geez JR, the man’s a NINE TIMES World champion – give him a little credit!”

A Dose of Mattitude

Search for: matt hardy

Enter keyword: version 1.0



The Sensei of Mattitude kicked off the show as Matt Hardy Version 1.0 made his way down the ramp, microphone in hand. MATT FACT 1: ‘Matt holds two victories over both Brothers of Destruction’. MATT FACT 2: ‘Matt loves Lita with all his heart’. Entering the ring, he waited for the crowd to quiet down a little before speaking.

MATT: “When I beat Kane last month at Vengeance everyone said it was a fluke, that it was a once in a lifetime piece of good luck. Well last night I proved all the doubters wrong, as I beat the Big Red Machine 1-2-3 for the second time in a month. I’d just like to thank all the MFers out there who gave me support. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

He held up the microphone to the crowd who cheered for the acknowledgement.

MATT: “It’s thanks to you guys that I now have two victories over Kane in addition to my past victories over his brother The Undertaker – but this is not about Matt Hardy, this is about the love of my life, the lovely Lita. Now that Kane has been forced to leave RAW forever, Lita can at last be in peace. Right now she’s resting at home – and will be for the foreseeable future. As I’m sure all of the mothers in audience will tell you, she’s going to need all the rest she can get. There’s no use her coming on the road and risking it here in the ring - the important thing is that she’s safe and that at last we can be happy in…”


Matt was interrupted mid-sentence as all four members of Evolution made their way out to the stage! Batista, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, and the World Heavyweight champion Triple H slowly made their way down to the ring with bemused expressions on their faces. They surrounded the ring on the outside and entered on all four sides – leaving Matt stuck in the middle. While Matt did not look scared, he certainly looked uneasy to have no clear route of escape. Not looking the least bit amused, Triple H picked up a microphone and stared Matt in the face.

TRIPLE H: “Who the hell do you think you are?!”

The crowd booed as Triple H stared right at Matt…and Matt stared right back at him, narrowing his eyes slightly. Triple H continued.

TRIPLE H: “Who the hell gives a DAMN about your sappy love life or personal problems? This is RAW! This is about Evolution! This is about Triple H! I’m the World Heavyweight champion – I should be the one opening the show. Who are you? You are NO-ONE.”

Matt said nothing in response, as he continued to just look at Triple H. Hunter was about to continue, but Orton tapped him on the shoulder and motioned for the microphone. After giving him a momentary stare, Triple H handed it to him.

Satisfied, Orton turned to Matt.

ORTON: “You’re not fit to be in the same ring as Evolution! Do you think you can compare to…a sixteen time World champion?”

“Woo!” sounds emanated from portions of the crowd as Ric Flair gave a little bow.

ORTON: “Or…the current World champion?”

Triple H patted his title belt.

ORTON: “Or do you think that you could measure up to…a leviathan?”

Batista flexed his muscles and grinned.

ORTON: “And of course you’re not in the same LEAGUE as the Legend Killer, the one and only, Randy Orton.”

Orton held out his arms and posed to the crowd, while Flair applauded behind him. The crowd were not impressed. Raising an eyebrow, Matt picked up the microphone and addressed Orton.

MATT: “That’s funny, because at the last two pay-per-views I beat a former World champion TWICE – right in the middle of the ring 1-2-3. Whereas, if I remember correctly, you LOST to a good friend of mine – TWICE – right in the middle of the ring 1-2-3. So it seems to me that the Legend Killer could do with some lessons from the Sensei of Mattitude.”

Matt held up his ‘V1’ hand symbol right in Orton’s face as the crowd cheered for Orton being put in his place. Orton chuckled, and started to turn away…but suddenly swung back round with a cheap shot to Matt! The rest of Evolution joined in with beating down Hardy, who stood no chance under the four-on-one odds. Soon they were just kicking him on the floor, trying to stomp him out of the ring.

EDGE: “Hey Randy!”

All of Evolution turned and looked up at the titantron to see a close-up of the Intercontinental title belt. The picture then zoomed out to see it over the shoulder of Edge, who had an immense grin on his face. Meanwhile, Matt Hardy rolled out of the ring to the floor below.

EDGE: “You know Randy, Matt did have one thing right, and that’s that I did beat you two pay-per-views in a row, 1-2-3. Maybe you’d just better accept that…you’re never getting this Intercontinental Title belt back!”

Orton shouted up at the titantron that he damn sure was going to get it back, while Flair tried to calm him down. Batista stood there looking tough as usual…and Triple H just looked pissed off. He grabbed the microphone from Orton.

TRIPLE H: “Listen punk, I’m the World Heavyweight champion. This is MY time to speak, so why don’t you shut the hell up or come out here so we can beat your ass?”

Edge chuckled.

EDGE: “Easy Hunter, try laying off the pep-pills for once. I’m just here to give Randy a bit of advice. Now Randy, if you ever want to get anywhere near my Intercontinental title again, there are some things you’re going to have to remember. Like…you should always eat a balanced diet. Or…always look both ways before you cross the street. Oh, and of course you should always…and I mean always…watch your back.”

Suddenly Matt Hardy took Randy Orton down from behind with a steel chair! The shot to the back of the head knocked Orton off his feet, while Matt escaped from the ring before the rest of Evolution could pounce on him. He smirked as he retreated up the ramp, chair in hand, while Evolution fussed amongst themselves in the ring. Edge laughed on the titantron, as we went to a commercial break…


(Commercial Break)

JR: “Well just before the break we saw Matt Hardy spoil Evolution’s evening! While distracted by Edge on the titantron, he hit Randy Orton with a steel chair as payback for the beating they’d given him moments earlier.”

KING: “The insolence of kids these days! Who does Matt Hardy think he is, punking out Randy Orton like that? Or Edge for that matter? This is meant to be Triple H’s night; they’ve got no respect for their elders!”

JR: “Matt Hardy and Edge are both older than Randy Orton, King.”

KING: “Even worse! People today not accepting that it’s their time to move aside and let the new generation take over…it’s despicable JR. I just don’t understand it.”

JR: “Right…in any case ladies and gentlemen we now have our first match of the evening, which will be an inter-gender tag team match with Christian and Trish Stratus against Steven Richards and Victoria.”

KING: “Yeah last night on HEAT we finally found out who Victoria’s mystery accomplice was, as Trish pulled off her wig to reveal…Steven Richards?!? Man, I know the guy was weird, but I never had him pegged for cross-dressing!”

JR: “Well in any case the ruse worked, because Victoria won the match – albeit by disqualification. And after they ruined Christian’s first match back from injury last week on RAW, Trish and Christian are certainly in the mood for payback here tonight!”

Christian and Trish Stratus vs. Steven Richards and Victoria

The men started things off in this mixed tag team match as they locked up in the centre of the ring. Christian seemed much more intense – angry at being screwed out of his match last week, JR speculated – and demonstrated this with a series of vicious chops in the corner, making Richards’ chest turn red. He kept up the offence with a couple of suplexes, and hit a backbreaker before going for the cover – 1…2…Richards kicked out.

Trish demanded the tag, and the action switched to the two women. This time Victoria gained the upper hand, knocking Trish down with a hard clothesline and following it up with a leg drop. Victoria hooked the leg – 1…2…but Christian stomped on the back of her head to break up the fall. The referee tried to get Christian back into his corner where he belonged, and this distracted Victoria enough to allow Trish to sneak up from behind and take her down with a STO. The Woman's champion made numerous pinning attempts in quick succession, but on each occasion Victoria would get her shoulder up. Eventually, Trish had had enough. She grabbed Victoria's head under her arm, and signalled for the Stratusfaction! But as she leapt up to bounce off the top rope, Victoria shoved her away - causing Trish to miss her footing on the rope and tumble over to the outside!

Victoria slumped backwards onto the mat but Steven Richards urged her on. Slowly, she crawled over to his corner…and got the tag! Richards came charging in, as did Christian on the other side, and Richards started cleaning house! He went through a whole series of moves, including a snapmere, dropkick, and DDT, that had Christian reeling. Richards indicated that he was going to go for the Stevie Kick, and rebounded off the ropes as Christian got back to his feet. However, just as he was coming back off the ropes, Trish got up on the apron and nailed him from behind with the Woman's title belt! Richards stumbled forwards...right into the Unprettier!! Trish hid the belt behind her back as the referee counted the fall - 1...2...3! Christian pinned Steven Richards to win the match!

WINNERS: Christian and Trish Stratus, by pinfall (cheating)

Match: 68

Crowd: 75

Overall: 72

Trish entered the ring and joined Christian in his victory celebration. They shared a passionate kiss as they stood over Steven Richards' body. Just then Victoria came running in to attack Trish, but Christian sucker punched her right in the mouth. He and Trish left laughing, as Victoria fumed in the ring.

JR: “Christian and Trish pull off a cheap victory, after Trish nailed Steven Richards with the Women’s Title belt.”

KING: “What do you mean ‘cheap’, JR? Trish was just getting him back for interfering in her match last night!”

JR: “It doesn’t matter why she did it King, what matters is that she used her title belt as an illegal weapon to win the match!”

KING: “You know what JR – you just have no sense of justice!”

JR: “…I’m not even going to bother.”

Caught at a bad time

We cut to see William Regal, decked out in his usual suit and tie, walking along backstage until he reached the door to the General Manager’s office. He went to knock, but as he did so the door opened and out come Batista, who quickly shut the door behind him. He gave Regal an uneasy look, and headed off down the corridor. Shrugging, Regal knocked on the door politely.

REGAL: “Mr. Bischoff?”

Although there was no response, Regal could hear that someone was inside, so he opened the door and went in. Bischoff was on the phone, and he didn’t look happy.

BISCHOFF: “…Yes I know that! And I want YOU to sort it out! I’ve already got enough problems – I’ve got a prime time cable show to run…!”

Eric looked up and saw Regal. He gave him the most unpleasant of glares, before returning to his phone call.

BISCHOFF: “No I don’t care! You’re a lawyer, you can draw up the necessary documentation – just make sure it goes through by tomorrow! …… Then MAKE it possible! Goodbye!”

Bischoff slammed down the phone, and shot another glare at Regal.

BISCHOFF: “What do YOU want?”

REGAL: “I do apologise, it seems I’ve caught you at a bad time…”

Bischoff stood up out of his chair, walking up to and glaring up at the taller Regal.

BISCHOFF: “Caught me at a bad time? Let me just fill you in on a piece of what I’m having to deal with. Thanks to Rhyno’s little ‘temper tantrum’ at Summerslam last night, I’m now told that Tajiri is out with an injury. That means I’ve had to find a last minute replacement for Tajiri’s scheduled match with Rob Conway tonight. More than that, I’m having to jump through a lot of legal hoops because I’m having Rhyno FIRED! I do NOT want some crazed lunatic running around injuring MY superstars just because a match doesn’t go his way! I’ve also got a surprise for later on tonight that I’m having to sort out, and in the middle of all this I have guys waltzing into my private office and interrupting me while I’m on the phone! So yeah – this is a ‘bad time’ for me, William.”

Regal shuffled a little uncomfortably.

REGAL: “Well Mr. Bischoff I just came here to tell you about your nephew…”

Bischoff rolled his eyes and went back to sit at his desk. Nonetheless, Regal continued.

REGAL: “Master Eugene’s nerves are quite shaken after what happened last night at Summerslam, so I told him that he should take the night off – try and get himself together and all that…I just thought you’d like to know, since he’s kin after all.”

Bischoff did not look impressed.

BISCHOFF: “And who exactly are you to be telling him when he can take time off? What if I had booked him into a match this evening, did you think of that?”

REGAL: “Have you?”

BISCHOFF: “No, but that’s not the point. I’M the General Manager. I’m the one who says whether people get the night off or not. As for my nephew…”

Bischoff spat out the word ‘nephew’ as if it had a foul taste.

BISCHOFF: “…He had better be here next week because as of this moment I am officially booking him in a match! Next week on RAW we will see Eugene Dinsmore…teaming up with William Regal…against a team of my choosing. Now Mr. Regal if you would kindly get the hell out of my office before I end up taking out my frustrations! Go!”

Regal stood there in silence for a moment, before shaking his head and walking out of the office. Bischoff slumped back in his chair, and picked up his coffee. Seeing that it was empty, he threw the mug across the room, where it shattered on the opposite wall. Bischoff put his head in his arms…and sulked.


Eric Bischoff lost 4 points of overness from this segment (88 – 84)

JR: “Eugene and Regal teaming together next week? Rhyno fired?! Eric Bischoff may be on the edge of his wits!”

KING: “The only thing I caught out of that whole tirade was Eric saying that he’s got a surprise for us later on tonight! I wonder what it is?!”

Regroup and launch counter-offensive

We were backstage in Evolution’s private suite. Flair was helping Orton apply some ice to the back of his head, while Triple H paced up and down the room.

TRIPLE H: “Damn those punk kids!”

FLAIR: “Now Hunter…”

TRIPLE H: “Just who do they think they are, as if they can come out and screw with us when I’ve just become the World champion for the NINTH time?! That’s better than Austin, that’s better than Rock – hell I’m the greatest freakin’ World champion of all time!”

FLAIR: “You’re damn right you are Hunter, but take it easy will ya? Everything’s under control…”

Just then Batista entered the room.

FLAIR: “Ah Dave, my man, is it all sorted?”

Batista took a moment to catch his breath.

BATISTA: “Yeah, it’s on.”

Triple H looked a little puzzled.

TRIPLE H: “What’s on?”

Flair grinned.

FLAIR: “I took the privilege of sending Dave down to Eric Bischoff’s office and requesting a match for later on – Batista and the Legend Killer Randy Orton against Matt Hardy and Edge.”

BATISTA: “Yeah I got the match signed. Bischoff was in a foul mood though – I had to dodge half the contents of his desk with him throwing them all at me. Seems like I caught at a bad time or something…”

TRIPLE H: “Well that’s fine, but next time, tell me first before you put these plans of yours into action okay? I damn sure don’t like being kept out of the loop.”

Flair laughed aside the slightly threatening tone in Hunter’s voice and winked.

FLAIR: “You got it champ!”

Triple H looked past Flair at Orton, who was sitting on the leather sofa and still holding an ice pack against his head.

TRIPLE H: “Was it really a good idea to put Randy in the match, seeing as he’s just taken a shot to the head and all?”

Hearing this, Randy dropped the ice pack and got to his feet.

ORTON: “Damn straight I’m going to be in this match – when someone takes a shot at me I’m gonna take care of it PERSONALLY!”

Orton and Hunter looked at each other. Flair looked at Orton, then at Triple H, then back to Orton, and again at Triple H. He laughed.

FLAIR: “There you go guys – that’s the spirit! We don’t let any punk kids play games with us now do we?”

ORTON: “No.”

TRIPLE H: “Hell no.”

BATISTA: “Only on Wednesdays.”

Slowly, very slowly, they all turned and looked at him.

BATISTA: “Well, you know…it depends what kind of game it is…”

They continued to stare at him.

BATISTA: “Because…because you see…I have this neighbour…she’s got this kid, you see…”


BATISTA: “And, uh, he’s this real cute kid, you see…and when I’m home he’ll sometimes come over and we’ll play…uh…Monopoly…and stuff.”

Yet more silence.

BATISTA: “Or Cluedo. He really likes Cluedo.”

The others squinted at him.

BATISTA: “No it’s really cool, because they’ve got all the little murder weapons….and, heh, when you get to the end you can sometimes find out that YOU were the murderer after all…! Heh, I tell ya it’s a crazy game that one…”

There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

This was followed by another long, uncomfortable silence.

Slowly, he started to move towards the door.

BATISTA: “Well, uh, I’ve just got to go and…and get a coffee or something! Anyone else want one? No? Okay. I’ll see you guys later!”

Batista hurried out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

The others looked at each other.

FLAIR: “Uh…as I was saying…it doesn’t matter what these kids do, because you can betcha ass that Evolution will make an impact before the night is out!”

ORTON: “Damn straight.”

Triple H grinned.

TRIPLE H: “Just like we always do…”


(Commercial Break)

JR: “Well before the break we head the news…”

KING: “Cluedo?!”

JR: “Uh, we heard the news that…”


JR: “Will you stop it? Before the break we heard the news of another match being signed for tonight – Randy Orton and Batista of Evolution verses Matt Hardy Version 1.0 and Edge!”

KING: “That’s going to be an awesome match, and Randy will be able to get revenge on Matt Hardy for that cheap shot with the steel chair! But I’m still wondering about this “surprise” Eric Bischoff’s got in store for us. I’m all excited about it!”

JR: “Well right here folks is where we have a scheduled match of Tajiri verses Rob Conway, but earlier tonight Eric Bischoff revealed that Tajiri had been badly injured during his run-in with Rhyno last night, and will not be able to compete!”

KING: “That damn Rhyno – it’s a good thing that Bischoff fired him! How would you like it if he came out here and gored you into a steel chair?”

JR: “Well it wouldn’t be my idea of fun and games I’ll give you that. Anyway Rob Conway has made his way to the ring, accompanied by his partner in La Resistance and fellow Tag Team champion, Sylvian Grenier. Apparently he’s going to be facing a different opponent but as of right now I have no idea who it…”

Suddenly a piece of fast-paced generic rock music hit the arena, as none other than Shelton Benjamin bounded out onto the stage!

JR: “My God! It’s Shelton Benjamin! After a two month absence, Shelton Benjamin is back on RAW!!”

Rob Conway (w/ Sylvian Grenier) vs. Shelton Benjamin

In what was a relatively short match, Conway started strong by choking Shelton on the ropes. When the referee asked him to step back he did so...for about 1.5 seconds, before coming back in with another choke and also some knees to the kidneys. Eventually he did desist, and whipped Shelton across the ring, hitting him with a sidewalk slam on the way back. Conway hooked the leg, but Shelton kicked out after 2.

Conway was not one to be put off, and picked Shelton up for a particularly nasty-looking backbreaker. And then another – he seemed to working on Benjamin’s lower back area. Shelton arched his back in pain on the mat, while Conway made some derogatory comment about Canada being “USA-Lite”, which actually prompted some heat from this largely pro-La Resistance Canadian crowd. Apparently Grenier was alright, because Quebec didn’t count…or something like that. Anyway, Conway returned to work on Benjamin, kicking him in the kidneys as he got back to his feet. He whipped him against the ropes, but Shelton ducked and came back on the rebound to knock Conway down with a flying elbow! He bounced off the ropes again as Conway got back up – bulldog! Shelton planted Conway’s face into the mat. He followed this up with a number of amateur-style suplexes, before whipping Conway into the turnbuckle. Shelton followed in quickly behind him for a Shelton Splash (read: Stinger Splash)! Conway stumbled forward…right into a Super Kick! Shelton nearly knocked Conway’s jaw right off his face! He hooked the leg – 1…2…3! Shelton Benjamin successfully pinned Rob Conway to win his first match back after injury!

WINNER: Shelton Benjamin, by pinfall (clean)

Match: 73

Crowd: 62

Overall: 67

JR: “And Benjamin picks up the win after that ferocious Super Kick! What a return for Shelton Benjamin! Wait, what in the…?”

A French Reception

As Shelton Benjamin was still celebrating on the turnbuckle, he was attacked from behind by Sylvian Grenier! Grenier knocked him off the second rope and threw him out to the ground below. Following him out, Grenier slammed his head against the barricade, and then the metal ring post, before rolling him back into the ring where Conway was already waiting. With one of the Tag Team title belts in hand, Conway waited for Benjamin to get back to his feet before going in. BAM! Championship gold to the head of Benjamin! The two members of La Resistances started putting the boots to Benjamin, leaving him lying on the canvas. They picked up the French flag and posed in triumph with it to the distaste of the crowd (well, parts of it anyway), before heading backstage.


Rob Conway gained 3 points of overness from this segment (48 – 51)

JR: “Now what in the hell was that?! Rob Conway and Sylvian Grenier attacked Shelton Benjamin from behind, just because Conway lost the match fair and square.”

KING: “Are you sure that’s the only reason JR? Maybe Shelton Benjamin did something else to warrant their attack.”

JR: “Like what?!”

KING: “Like…not being born French?”

A Wolverine on a Mission

We joined Todd Grisham backstage for an interview with the former World Heavyweight champion, Chris Benoit!

GRISHAM: “Chris Benoit, last night you – ”

Benoit cut him off.

BENOIT: “I know damn well what happened last night – I LOST. I lost the match. I lost the World Heavyweight championship. But what I haven’t lost is my pride. Do you expect me to come out and say the better man won? I’m still the best wrestler in this company, and that sure as hell isn’t going to change any time soon. Everybody has their lucky nights, and Triple H must have cashed in a whole load of brownie points yesterday to be able to pin my shoulders to the mat. The fact is that he’s not going to be able to ride that luck forever. I WILL get another shot. And when I lock him in the Crossface, it’s as good as over. I will make him…TAP…OUT!! And I will reclaim MY World Heavyweight Title!”

GRISHAM: “…Well you could get your chance quite soon because tonight you’re facing Chris Jericho in a match to decide the new number one contender, what are your thoughts going into this match?”

BENOIT: “I’ve faced Chris Jericho many times in the past, and he’s a good competitor. Sure, he’s beaten me a few times, and I’ve beaten him a few times, but when it comes right down to it, he just doesn’t compare. There is absolutely NOTHING that’s going to stand between me and my World Heavyweight title – not Chris Jericho, not Evolution, not Triple H…nothing.”


Chris Benoit lost 4 points of overness from this segment (98 – 94)

JR: “The Rabid Wolverine is all fired up for his match later tonight!”

KING: “So Chris Benoit is fired up – yeah, yeah, big deal. Try to keep focused on what’s important here JR, and that’s that Eric Bischoff has a big surprise planned for tonight! I’m so excited!”

JR: “Frankly I find the prospect of Benoit verses Jericho for the Number One Contendership a lot more exciting than anything Eric Bischoff has to say.”

KING: “You’re such a boring guy JR.”

JR: “Well whether that’s true or not, we have another match for you next as Edge and Matt Hardy team up to take on Randy Orton and Batista!”

KING: “See how strong Randy is to be participating in this match – I mean he got hit in the back of the head with a chair! Any normal man would have retired by now.”

JR: “I think that’s a slight exaggeration…but he does have to be hurting from that chairshot, courtesy of Matt Hardy. Can Evolution get revenge for earlier tonight, or will Matt and Edge humiliate them further? It’s a huge match – and it’s next!”

(Commercial Break)

Randy Orton and Batista vs. Edge and Matt Hardy Version 1.0

The Evolution representative – Orton, Batista, and their manager Ric Flair – made their way out to the ring first. Orton still kept touching the back of his head and wincing a little in pain because of that chairshot earlier. However, he seemed confident enough. Matt Hardy and Edge then entered separately – Matt waited outside of the ring until his partner arrived to back him up. They then both stormed the ring at once, and the match was on.

Edge locked up with Batista to start the match, and showed just why he was the Intercontinental champion by staying one step ahead of the big man move for move. He hit him with a suplex, and led him over to his corner so that he could tag out to Matt Hardy. Matt came in and continued where Edge had left off. He went for the Side Effect…but Batista shoved him away, and Matt walked back into a Spinebuster! Batista hooked the leg, trying to capitalise off the high impact move, but Hardy got his shoulder up.

Orton was demanding the tag on the outside, and Batista let him in so that he could exact retribution against Hardy for the chairshot. Orton was near methodical, picking Hardy apart. He went for the cover off a DDT, but again Matt got his shoulder up. Randy tagged out - to allow for some double teaming – and then quickly back in again, to continue the assault. With Matt knocked down, Randy stalked him. Matt stumbled to his feet…RKO! But before Orton could land it Matt shoved him away, and made the tag out to Edge! Edge came in on fire, knocking Orton down time and again with hard right hands. As Orton staggered, Edge crouched down and launched towards him with the Spear! But Orton moved, and Edge went shoulder first into the turnbuckle!! Edge slowly got back up and turned around…the RKO! Orton nailed Edge with the RKO! That’s got to be it…1…2…but no! Edge got his foot on the bottom rope! Randy was furious, and started screaming at the referee that it had been a three. The referee refused to listen however, and in the mean time Edge was crawling towards his corner to make the tag! Orton spotted this, and he grabbed Edge by the ankle just in time to keep him out of reach. Edge stood up, hopping on one leg…and jumped up to kick Randy in the side of the head! He leapt towards his corner, and in came Matt Hardy!

Matt started laying in to Randy with lefts and rights, and whipped him against the ropes to take him down with a DDT! Picking Randy back up to his feet, Matt locked his arms around him for a backdrop, but Randy wrestled out of the hold and swung a fist at Matt – which Matt ducked, before locking Randy into a modification of the Cobra Clutch!! Randy flailed desperately under this old school submission manoeuvre, as Matt tried to force the former Intercontinental champion to submit! Seeing Randy in trouble, Batista put one foot into the ring and started making a nuisance, prompting the referee to go and tell him not to even THINK about entering the ring when he’s not the legal man. Meanwhile, Ric Flair entered on the opposite side of the ring…and the camera zoomed in to reveal that the dirtiest player in the game was wielding a pair of brass knucks! He crept up behind Matt Hardy, where he still had the submission hold locked in tight on Orton. Aiming for the back of Matt’s head, Flair pulled his arm back and swung – but at the same moment Orton managed to reverse Matt’s hold and counter it into a hammerlock…THUK! Because Matt and Randy had changed positions, and Flair wasn’t able to stop in time, he hit Randy right between the eyes with the brass knucks! Orton slumped back against Matt, when - Spear! Edge ran in and speared Ric Flair right out of his shoes! Matt hooked Randy into a front face lock and threw the guns – “Ahhhhhhh!”- Twist of Fate!! The referee ran over to make the count – 1…2…3! Matt Hardy did it! Matt Hardy pinned Randy Orton!

WINNERS: Edge and Matt Hardy Version 1.0, by pinfall (botched interference)

Match: 75

Crowd: 79

Overall: 77

JR: “Matt Hardy capitalised on Ric Flair’s mistake, and hit the Twist of Fate for the victory! If Orton was feeling sore before, he’s certainly no better off now!”

KING: “It’s not fair JR! Poor Randy lost because of factors completely beyond his control!”

JR: “You mean the illegal interference by his Evolution buddy Ric Flair?”

KING: “Oh don’t you start blaming Ric for this either. Matt Hardy and Edge cheated, plain and simple!”

JR: “No, they didn’t King! It was Evolution who – oh Good Lord, not this!”

We have a special Two-for-One deal on beatdowns today, would you like fries with that?

Regardless of JR’s outcry, it was happening. Triple H ran in and attacked Matt Hardy from behind, while Flair and Batista did the same to Edge. Orton soon joined in the fray and it became a four-on-two assault. After finishing with Edge, they all turned their attention to Matt Hardy, as extra punishment for the steel chair attack earlier. First, Batista picked him up and delivered the Powerbomb. He and Flair then hoisted Hardy back to his feet so that Orton could hit the RKO. Last, but by no means least, the World Heavyweight champion did the honours…Pedigree! Raising their hands in victory, the four members of Evolution left both men limp in the ring as they headed backstage.


JR: “It’s despicable! Triple H and Evolution acting like nothing more but a gang of street thugs in their brutal assault on Edge and Matt Hardy!”

KING: “Uh, you want to talk about brutal assaults JR? What about what Matt Hardy did to Randy Orton with the steel chair? He got nothing less than he deserved!”

JR: “God, Triple H may be the World Heavyweight champion again, but that doesn’t give or his Evolution buddies the right just to do as they please! I really hope someone puts them in their place!”

KING: “What, you mean like…Chris Benoit? You know JR sometimes you can be quite the comedian!”

JR: “Do I look like I’m laughing? Speaking of Chris Benoit, coming up we’ve got tonight’s main event which will determine the Number One Contender to Triple H’s title. That’s Chris Benoit verses Chris Jericho, and that’s right after this!”

(Commercial Break)

Three’s a Crowd

We returned from the commercial break just as the countdown was underway to announce the arrival of Chris Jericho! The Canadian crowd gave a HUGE pop to the native superstar, but the cheers grew louder as he was joined by fellow Canadian Chris Benoit! To say the crowd was torn was a massive understatement, as they couldn’t wait for the match between these two fan-favourites to get underway. With both superstars in the ring, the referee looked ready to get the match started.


However the proceedings were promptly interrupted as the RAW General Manager Eric Bischoff made his way out onto the stage. He certainly seemed to have brightened up a bit since we’d seen him earlier in the evening…but not by much. After all, it had been a long day. He held up his microphone, and spoke in his most official tone.

BISCHOFF: “Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to inform you that this match for the Number One Contendership will now be a TRIPLE THREAT match! May I introduce a man who recently underwent surgery, only to find after he’d recovered that he no longer had a job waiting for him on SmackDown!. Well, that’s their loss because earlier today he officially signed on the dotted line of a brand new contract created by me! Please welcome, RAW’s newest superstar…!”


JR: “Mah Gawd! Mah Gawd! It’s the Big Show! The Big Show is here on RAW!!”

KING: “I knew it! I knew it! I knew Eric Bischoff would deliver and he’s truly surpassed himself this time! It’s the Big Show JR!”

JR: “Seven foot two, five hundred pounds, a former WWE champion – we haven’t seen the Big Show since he chokeslammed SmackDown!’s Kurt Angle off a balcony, putting him into a wheelchair for three months!”

KING: “I guess Kurt Angle didn’t WANT him back on SmackDown! – and understandably! He’s a wrecking machine JR, and now both Benoit and Jericho have to try and deal with him at a moment’s notice!”

JR: “We lost one monster in Kane last night, but now we’ve gained another! Who will become the Number One Contender?!”


Big Show vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Number One Contendership for the World Heavyweight Championship

Benoit and Jericho blinked as the 500lb mammoth entered the ring. They looked to each other, nodded, and attacked him simultaneously! It seems that they had communicated an informal alliance to take Big Show out first! They beat him down with all manner of kicks, punches and chops, and even lifted him over their heads to deliver a Double Suplex! They continued to double team him, with Benoit even hitting a Swandive Headbutt! Jericho jumped onto the ropes – Lionsault! Jericho made the cover – 1…2…but Benoit dragged him off! Jericho glared at him, but Benoit just shrugged. Those were the rules of the game after all. Before Jericho could say anything they both noticed Big Show getting back to his feet, and set to work on him again. Whipping him against the ropes, they took him down with a dual-drop toe hold. Benoit seized this opportunity and scrambled across Big Show to lock in the Crippler Crossface! Big Show yelled out in pain, but his suffering was cut short as Jericho dropped an elbow on the back of Benoit’s head to break up the hold! Benoit got back up and went nose to nose with Jericho, talking trash. Jericho shoved him in response, and Benoit shoved him back. Jericho went for a grapple, but Benoit weaved his way out of it and countered to give Jericho a German suplex! He went for a second but Jericho reversed the hold and rolled Benoit up! 1…2…Benoit managed to kick out.

They both locked up again, but were sent flying by an incoming Big Show. Big Show alternated between them - scoop slamming Benoit, giving Jericho a Body Press Slam, and so on. He went for the pin on Jericho following a Pumphandle Slam, but Jericho got the shoulder up after 2.

Big Show then decided to focus on Benoit, tossing him into the turnbuckle and delivering some vicious open-handed chops to the chest. Whipping him across to the opposite turnbuckle, he followed up with a massive clothesline. Show then retreated so as to run up for another clothesline, but suddenly Jericho came flying off one of the other turnbuckles to take Big Show down with a Missile Dropkick! Rolling Big Show onto his front, Jericho picked up his legs and – no way – the Walls of Jericho on the Big Show?!? Well, due to the Big Show’s size they sort of came off as more of a Boston Crab, but the effect was much the same. Jericho cinched the hold back as far as he could as the Big Show tried in vain to reach the bottom rope. He looked ready to tap out when suddenly Benoit kicked Jericho in the side of the head to knock him off. Jericho had clearly been knocked silly by that sharp kick, and stumbled across the ring holding his head. Leaning on the ropes for a few seconds to regain his bearings, he turned back only to receive a Belly to Belly suplex from Benoit! Benoit hip tossed Jericho and whipped him against the ropes. Jericho ducked the clothesline and rebounded back only to be taken down for the Crippler Crossface!! Jericho writhed in agony under the Crossface, as Benoit put all the intensity that he could into the move. The referee lifted up Jericho’s arm three times to see if he submitted, but on the third time Jericho kept his arm up! He struggled against the Crossface, finally managing to flip Benoit over…but Benoit rolled through the counter and kept the Crossface on – now even further away from the ropes! It looked as if Jericho had no option but to tap, but then both men were flattened by a Big Show splash that broke up the hold and then some.

Big Show started putting the boots to both men, and then picked Benoit up by his throat! Chokeslam to Benoit!! Big Show was about to go for the pin, but Jericho came in with a clothesline. The Big Show swayed slightly, so Jericho tried again. Big Show almost toppled, so Jericho looked to finish it with a third…but got caught by the throat instead! Big Show signalled for another Chokeslam…! But Jericho kicked him in the gut instead. Big Show hunched over, and a second kick forced him to release Jericho’s throat. Jericho moved back to the corner, and Big Show charged – only for Jericho to move out of the way at the last possible moment, and Big Show to hit the turnbuckle right in the chest…or stomach…or whatever. Benoit, having got up from the Chokeslam earlier, came over and started stomping a mudhole in the Big Show, and Jericho joined him! Using all of their strength, they lifted Big Show up to the second rope…then the top rope…my god, they couldn’t be? They each hooked Big Show’s arms over their shoulders...Double Superplex on the Big Show!! The ring shook with the impact, and all three men lay breathing heavily on the mat. Slowly, both Benoit and Jericho slumped tired arms across the Big Show’s giant torso. The referee counted the fall – 1…2…3! Wait, just who won that?!

No music from either man played, as ring announcer Howard Finkel asked referee Mike Chioda who was the winner. Chioda consulted with one of his officials, who eventually nodded. After a brief word to the Howard Finkel, the result was announced.

FINKEL: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match – Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho!!”

WINNERS: Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho, by pinfall (clean)

Match: 81

Crowd: 88

Overall: 85

KING: “They BOTH won?!? Wait, this can’t be right JR…does that mean they’re BOTH the Number One Contender?!”

JR: “I’m not too sure myself King, but either way you can bet that Triple H is not going to be happy about it! That’s all we’ve got time for – join us again next week for another action-packed edition of WWE RAW! Goodnight!”


TV Ratings: 5.98

Attendance: 7,520

Best Match: Big Show vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho - 85

Worst Match: Rob Conway vs. Shelton Benjamin - 67

Best Segment: Evolution assault Edge and Matt Hardy - 88

Worst Segment: Eric Bischoff books William Regal and Eugene in a match next week - 64

Edited by stokeriño
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WOW...just...WOW! That first RAW was breath-takingly awesome. The swerve ending of Jericho and Benoit winning the 3 way match was good. But obviously it was a handicap match when you played EWR right? ;)

I can see Kane leaving RAW for SmackDown! to get a feud going with Taker for the title. But Big Show to RAW? I hope you are aware that it was Big Show who was discontented in RAW and was traded to SmackDown! but then again, its WWE style of booking so I guess its cool. I wonder what impact Show will have on RAW. The same goes for the Big Red Machine, Kane who is now on SD!

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WOW...just...WOW! That first RAW was breath-takingly awesome. The swerve ending of Jericho and Benoit winning the 3 way match was good. But obviously it was a handicap match when you played EWR right? ;)

Much appreciated! And as for the Jericho/Benoit/Show match...yes, very intuitive aren't you? ;)

But Big Show to RAW? I hope you are aware that it was Big Show who was discontented in RAW and was traded to SmackDown! but then again, its WWE style of booking so I guess its cool. I wonder what impact Show will have on RAW.

I am aware, and if there's one thing that annoys me more than anything else in the WWE it's a lack of continuity. The Big Show's decision to return to RAW (and the status his relationship with Eric Bischoff) will be explained next week.

I have almost no idea what's going to happen with Kane on SmackDown (not that it's too obvious that he will turn up there) or much else either...so I await it just as much as anyone else!

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Oh yes, it's a Smackdown! preview.

user posted image


August 19, 2004

At Summerslam Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns took on John Cena and Latino Heat, and lost not only the match, but he also lost his job as General Manager to Paul E. Heyman!

Heyman made his presence known as soon as he was on the job, firing Angle, Guerrero and Reigns! Being the only person not to lose his job, John Cena must be hanging on to his contract by a thread. Time will only tell as to how long Heyman decides to keep Cena's job.

John Bradshaw Layfield will be in the building to address the new WWE Champion, The Undertaker! An era of Darkness started at Summerslam, and it will undoubtedly be unleashed on Thursday.

Charlie Haas is scheduled to take on Kenzo Suzuki in one on one action!

All this and much more this Thursday night (8/7 CT) when UPN presents SmackDown!

I hope to have Smackdown! up later on today. Stupid me didn't copy down the Match Qualities or Crowd Reactions for SD! or Velocity, so you'll be going without those for this week.

I also warn you, Stoker owns me in writing, so my results may seem substandard to his. I'm learning, mmkay?

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Wow, she showed up not long afterwards!

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Smackdown! – August 19th, 2004 from the Copps Coliseum, in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

“…I want it all, no less, so come on!”

Cole: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Smackdown! We’re on the heels of an intense Summerslam which saw us get a new boss, in the form of General Manager Paul Heyman! Michael Cole alongside Tazz, and well partner, Summerslam was chock full of shocks.

Tazz: Indeed Cole, indeed: Summerslam was a rocketbustah! We saw The Dudley Boyz overtake Kidman and London, Rob Van Dam become the new US champion over Rene Dupree, Booker T and Kenzo Suzuki and of course, there’s a new WWE Champion in the Undertaker.

He is indeed back

"I’m back!!”

Cole: What’s this?

Tazz: That’s Eric Bischoff’s music! What’s he doing on Smackdown?

Out of the curtain comes…Paul Heyman. To even more heat than the music was getting alone, he makes his way to the ring, microphone in hand, and a grin that’s so wide that it looks nearly painful. He climbs into the ring and basks in the overpowering boos. The music stops as Heyman brings the mic to his face.

Heyman: Sorry Eric…it just seemed right…I’m back! And I’d like to welcome you all back to Paul Heyman’s Smackdown!

Guess what? More heat.

Heyman: Well, well, well. It seems that the crowds here are a bit upset that Paul E. Heyman has once again risen to the occasion. I have once again become top dog on Smackdown, and I will once again rise to the occasion each and every night. You see, Kurt Angle was not a professional man. He traded Triple H back over to RAW. He was not fit for business, and he didn’t understand what a Pay Per View is all about. You see, what Angle had for a Summerslam will be my re-debut to Smackdown!

The crowd gets somewhat interested.

Heyman: Oh yes, Summerslam, nearly to a tee, except for two slight changes. Due to three of the competitors not being available, all three of them being fired, John Cena and Eddie Guererro VS Kurt Angle and Luther Reigns cannot repeat. Therefore, in an ingeneous plan, I will include former United States champion John Cena in tonight’s match with RVD, Booker T and Rene Dupree for that mentioned title!

Oh yes, Cena’s name alone deserves a pop.

Heyman: Unfortunately, if Mr. Cena fails to win that title tonight, then I will be forced to relieve him of his duties here on Smackdown.

As quickly as you can get a John Cena pop, heat can be radiated from Mr. Paul Heyman. The fans demonstrate this.

Heyman: I’m sorry, but it’s simply the way things are. Paul Heyman’s Smackdown will reach new limits…in fact, it will have no limits. That brings me to my next point of the evening. Rey Mysterio, you currently hold the Cruiserweight Championship. I will need to strip you of it, as it is being officially retired. You see, that title has…limits. I want to create a show each week where the audience wonders what will happen next…that reminds me of a certain promotion in the Philadelphia area…

Heyman pulls out of his jacket what appears to be the ECW Title, save the fact that the purple writing has been altered to say ERC. A traditional E-C-DUB chant starts up.

Heyman: You may remember a certain little cult phenomenon known as ECW, and, oh yes, this is that promotion’s world title. This title cannot be known as the ECW title any more, so that is why I have re-named this belt the Extreme Rules Championship, or ERC. This title will be fought for in just that fashion too, in the rules of ECW. And since this is ECW’s former title, only one man can truly be its first holder on Paul Heyman’s Smackdown…And that man is…Rhyno!

Rhyno’s music hits.

Cole: Rhyno?

Tazz: Well, Rhyno was the last ever ECW champion Cole, it makes sense.

Cole: Rhyno was just fired from RAW because of a vicious attack that he dished out on Tajiri after losing their title match against La Resistance at Summerslam. I realize that since Eric Bischoff fired him, Rhyno’s a free agent, but why does Heyman want him here?

Rhyno comes out to a mixed reaction. The Hamilton crowd is obviously filled with some smarks. Half the crowd is booing, while the rest is chanting E-C-DUB. Rhyno climbs into the ring and accepts his title.

Heyman: You see, the main difference between Smackdown and RAW is that while Eric Bischoff fires monsters, we tame them here. This man was the last ECW champion, and is now the rightful first Extreme Rules Champion. Rhyno?

Rhyno takes the mic from Paul, but is stopped before he can make a speech by the arena darkening, with a single spotlight on the ring and one on the ramp. ‘“The neverending saga in ... the overall story of the loner, the slacker, the tortured soul known as Raven, who craves acceptance yet destroys it once he achieves it."- Paul Heyman’ comes up on the titantron. A perfectly black bird descends on the ring towards Heyman and Rhyno. They shoo it away, and check the titantron once again to see ‘RAVEN. RHYNO. NEXT WEEK. ERC.’ The light returns which prompts Rhyno and Heyman to beat a hasty retreat.


Cole: A message from Raven?

Tazz: Raven hasn’t been a part of the WWE for years though. What does this mean Cole?

Cole: Well, I suppose that we’ll find out next week. Wait a sec…I’m getting word that Josh Matthews is backstage with a surprise addition to the Smackdown roster…Josh?

Josh Matthews is backstage with none other than Kane! OMG!!!!111111oneoneoneoneoneoneoneone

Josh: Kane, at Summerslam, you were forced to leave RAW because you lost to Matt Hardy in a Love Her or Leave Her match. What are you doing on Smackdown?

Kane gets into the classic “I’m big and intimidating compared to the interviewer” pose.

Kane: I’m here for one reason and one reason only. I am here to taste blood.

Kane walks off, quite angry. The scene cuts to a commercial break.


MATCH—Rhyno © Versus Funaki

WWE Extreme Rules Championship

Poor Funaki…you’re pushed as a backstage reporter, and you return to wrestling for an obvious squash match. Oh well. This one started off pretty normal as squash matches go. Funaki gets an early lead, hitting Rhyno with a few dropkicks. After the third, he goes for the vertical suplex. Always gotta go for something you can’t hit, eh Funaki? Of course, Rhyno counters it and begins the domination path. He throws Funaki into the post, sternum first. Funaki comes out of it, dazed, and is hit with a german suplex. Rhyno then decides it’s time for some hardware. Grabbing a table, Rhyno props his new toy nicely in the corner. He teases the Gore, and charges as Funaki stands up and turns around. Funaki gets out of the way, and Rhyno smashes into the table! As Rhyno stumbles out, Funaki takes the opportunity to use a schoolboy style pin, with his feet on the ropes. Legal, effective, but not so effective for Funaki. Rhyno kicks out with ease. Funaki starts to go for a quick offence, but is caught in the Gore, which was greeted by some E-C-DUB Chants. Easy title defense tonight Mr. Rhyno, but next week…oh my.

Winner: Rhyno by pinfall.


Paul Heyman is in his office with the Dudley Boyz and their shiny new titles. The scene seems to be breaking right into mid conversation.

Bubba Ray: Wait a second Paul. You say that I and D-Von have to defend these titles just five days after we won them, against the chumps that we beat already? I just don’t get it.

D-Von: Yeah Paul. If they couldn’t beat us Sunday, then how could they beat us tonight?

Paul: Gentlemen, gentlemen. There’s a simple explanation for all of your worries. Paul London and Billy Kidman have an automatic rematch clause in their contracts, which states that as long as you two hold these titles, they are considered the number one contenders for them. But tonight, much like with Mr. Cena, they are in a win or lose situation. If they lose the title match tonight, their rematch clause is void.

Bubba Ray: Ingenious.

The Dudleys give high fives and leave Heyman’s office.

Cole: The Dudley Boyz versus Billy Kidman and Paul London is next!


Everyone’s favorite part of the show, the commercial break!!

MATCH--The Dudley Boys © Versus Kidman and London

WWE Tag Titles

Just when you thought that the WWE was gonna give these two a decent push. Allow us all to pray that this victory for the Dudleys is simply a way to give them a push as the 19 time tag champs. Bubba Ray and London start this one off, with the action trading back and forth between the two. London hits a drop kick which sends Bubba reeling and prompts him to make the tag to D-Von. Enter D-Von who took it to London, hitting big moves. After a swinging neck breaker, D-Von made the pin, which brought up a deja-vu moment from Summerslam, with Kidman coming in to help, which helped those damned Dudleys hit the Wazzup Headbutt while the referee told Kidman to hold the tag rope. Tag in to Bubba who motions for the 3D. Those plans are thwarted quickly as London hits a tornado DDT on D-Von, and a Hurracanrana on Bubba Ray. Kidman gets the hot tag in, and hits fast clotheslines on the Dudleys. London tackles D-Von over the top rope, and Kidman positions Bubba Ray for the Shooting Star Press, and hits it. An almost inevitable three count is thwarted by Paul Heyman, who attacks Kidman with a baseball bat while the ref is busy trying to bring the other halves of the teams to their corners. Heyman puts Bubba Ray on top of Kidman and gets the ref’s attention. Bubba Ray makes the pin for a successful title defense.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz

Cole: The Dudleys just won with the assist from Paul Heyman!

Heyman plays at the idea that he plans to hit Kidman with the bat again, until none other than Spike Dudley makes his way to the ring, chair in hand. Woohoo! Clear the ring Spike, clear the ring! Mr. Heyman gets a mic and vocalizes himself on the ramp.

Heyman: Spike, you just made a mistake. Next week, the Dudley Boyz, the same men who have tried to befriend you for weeks will team up with a returning Sean O’Haire, and their opponents will be the three man team of London, Kidman and Spike Dudley. You will pay for this incident Spike, you will pay in full.

Cole: Oh my God! Not only have we learned that Sean O’Haire will make his return to Smackdown! Next week, but he will be teaming with the Dudleys against the three men in the ring right now!

Tazz: How in god’s name are they going to be able to compete with those men? The combined weight of the Dudleys and O’Haire must triple the combined weight of London, Kidman and Spike!

Cole: I dunno partner, but I do know that Kenzo Suzuki versus Charlie Hass is next!


The Prophecy

A video airs for Sean O’Haire to the tune of AFI’s Silver and Cold. The Lyrics are in bold, while what is happening is in normal text.

I...I came here by day

Sean O’Haire is shown, looking very green, in his WCW debut

But I left here in darkness

O’Haire and Piper smash a coconut over Rikishi’s head.

And found you, found you on the way

An image of Heyman slowly fades through, him laughing.

Now...it is silver and silent…It is silver and cold

Sean O’Haire comes back into view, hands in prayer.

You in somber resplendence...I hold.

Everything fades out slowly, to a completely black screen except for white writing which spells out the following:

Sean O’Haire returns 8.26.2004

Be ready.


MATCH—Charlie Hass versus Kenzo Suzuki

I’ll keep this obvious part short. HASS. CARRIED. SUZUKI. Pretty simple, eh? The match started off with a test of strength, which was won by Suzuki, but with a quick go-behind, Hass gained control in the early goings. Charlie hits a couple of quick suplexes which gains him a couple of quick two counts. After a “distraction” from Hiroki, Suzuki began to assault Hass. After a few moves that were quite taxing to Hass’s lower back, Suzuki locks in a simple, yet effective abdominal stretch. Hass powers out and goes to a leg with a half boston crab. He quickly switches into the Hass of Pain for the submission win.

Winner: Charlie Hass


Commercial Break

Match: Rob Van Dam © vs Booker T vs Rene Dupree vs John Cena

WWE United States Championship

If Cena does not win he will be fired

Egos were flaring the most in this match, with some pretty funny spots. Cena knocks out Booker T and goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, only to be closelined by Dupree, who begins to go for his “I am a Frenchman dance”, which was promptly stopped by RVD, who did the Rolling Thunder on all of them. Then going for the Five Star Frog splash on Cena, RVD was Book-Ended out to the floor. Booker then went for a top rope clothesline on Dupree, to only get dropkicked in mid air. While the three others were recuperating, Cena began to pump it up. Dupree came after him and was met with a kick to the gut and an F-U! Cena makes the cover, for three!!!

Paul Heyman’s music hits instead of Cena’s.

Heyman: Hold on a minute there Ref, hold on!

A chorus of asshole chants start, but Heyman speaks above it.

Heyman: Cena, you may’ve just pinned Rene Dupree, but that was simply the first fall. You see Cena, you are now in an elimination rules match for the United States Title, with competitors Booker T and Rob Van Dam. Ring the bell!

Up from behind comes Booker T with a school boy style roll up! He grabs the tights and has his feet on the ropes! Cena is eliminated. Cena rolls out of the ring, brushing his shoulder off, very pissed off when it hits him. He throws up the Word Life sign to the fans who give a Cena chant in return. Cena walks away.

As Booker T celebrates having basically fired John Cena, RVD was ready on the top rope and hit him with an extended leg. Van Dam helps Booker up and whips him into the corner. He hits Book with two shoulders and then does a backflip and hits a running third. Booker T falls out of the corner in perfect positioning for Van Dam’s next move, the Five Star Frogsplash! Van Dam rolls back over and makes a pin for three!

Winner: Rob Van Dam


Cole: An impressive win for RVD, but a damn shame that Cena lost his job that way!

Tazz: Well, Cena’s warning from Heyman was there, but he just couldn’t rise above the challenge Cole.

Cole: Cena, as well as the rest of the competitors in that match were un-aware that it was an elimination match, and for that matter Booker T had cheated!

Tazz: Can’t call what you can’t see.

Is JBL ready for The Dark Days?

Backstage with a microphone is John Bradshaw Layfield. Wearing his usual phony grin and cowboy/rich guy outfit, JBL obviously has an agenda.

JBL: At Summerslam, a robbery occurred. You see, I, John Bradshaw Layfield, Smackdown’s greatest investment, lost the WWE Title to a man who is wearing clothes from thirteen years ago. So tonight, JBL will be taking The Undertaker on in a one on one match so that I can take back what is rightfully mine. Does anybody doubt that I can do this?

Wow…a pop during a JBL interview.

JBL: I don’t think so. I will take my title back tonight fair and square!

Cole: JBL, Taker! It’s next!


That final commercial break!

MAIN EVENT MATCH: The Undertaker © versus John Bradshaw Layfield

WWE Title

Do you know how I spell squash match? JBL vs Taker. It was a wild brawl the whole way through *coughtwominutestopscough*, until Taker hit “Old School.” Bradshaw was then lifted up by the throat and chokeslammed back down, but that wasn’t enough, as UT took JBL for the Tombstone. Taker crosses the arms and makes the cover.

A pyro goes off, and “Slow Chemical” by Finger Eleven starts up. Taker isn’t at all wary.

Cole: Oh my!

Tazz: It’s Kane!

Kane rushes the ring, and the two brothers begin to fight. Trading punches for a while, both men go for the chokeslam at the same time. Kane overpowers Taker and hits his move first. He then goes to the outside to retrieve the WWE title. He brings it in ring, and is shouting at Taker that he’ll pay for something in blood. He then positions the title and does the slow throat cut that Taker’s famous for. He picks up Undertaker and tombstones him on the title. Smackdown! goes off the air, with Kane standing tall above Undertaker, making the pyro go off.


Overall Rating: 71%

TV Rating: 5.92

Attendance: 7520

Best match: Taker VS JBL (72%)

Worst Match: Haas VS Suzuki (59%)

Best Segment: The Dudley Boyz converse with Paul Heyman (92%)

Worst Segment: Sean O'Haire tease video (63%)

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Best match: Taker VS JBL (72%)


Wow, Taker V JBL match = good?

Maybe Summerlsam won't be so bad, after all.

I'm assuming that JBL is obscenely over on your game, or that Undertaker is amazing at brawling.

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Out of boredom, here's an internet report.

user posted image

What you didn't see on Smackdown!

Impact Fan John writes:

Hey, Just got back from the Smackdown tapings. Pretty good, but no Velocity. They said it'd be taped on Wednesday before a house show in Nova Scotia.

Dark Matches:

The Bashams def. A Team called The Young Blood...didn't catch their individual names.

Orlando Jordan def. Big Bad Burchill...I assumed that the latter was a new developmental guy...looked like he knew what he was doing to some extent, but still pretty green, even next to Jordan.

The WWE Desire video featured "All For You' By Our Lady Peace.

Shane McMahon was at ringside, but always outside of the camera's view. He had a cast on one of his legs.

After the show ended, Taker sat up, and Kane fled to the ramp. They had some "words" and all of a sudden the lights went out, just to hear an "Oh Yeeeaaaaaas!!!" presumably from Paul Bearer. When the lights came back on, Kane was gone, and Taker looking somewhat confused. He taunted with the belt and Tony Chimel thanked us for coming.

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Good so far, I am favouring RAW a little bit though, but that's probably because HHH is the World champion, and it had an awesome main event. Smackdown was good, and I am looking forward to the return of Sean O'Haire, and feel that he would be good for your US title division. ERC title I like, but I don't like the fact that the Cruiserweight title has gone, as you now have 15 or so less guys off Smackdown. Perhaps they'll be challenging for the ERC? I hope so. Good to see Cena fired though, and Heyman back. But where the fuck was Angle, lol! Good show though.

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Your writing does NOT suck dude. Infact SmackDown!'s opening segment was great...until you mentioned a man who has a written deal already in TNA and a man making his return but in reality he is preparing to get his K1 career to start.

O'Haire and Raven back on SmackDown! ??? oh well its your booking. But still your writing is good, it doesnt suck. Its just ok. So dont worry, no one owns no one here :D its a good thing.[/ddp]

The new title for SmackDown! sounds like a very interesting thing. Extreme Rules Championship, it has a ring to it.

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Thank you very much...I'm somewhat shocked.

until you mentioned a man who has a written deal already in TNA and a man making his return but in reality he is preparing to get his K1 career to start

I was fully aware of those...I "convinced" them to re-join with us :P

ERC title I like, but I don't like the fact that the Cruiserweight title has gone, as you now have 15 or so less guys off Smackdown. Perhaps they'll be challenging for the ERC?

Indeed. You see, after a few trades over to RAW, my cruiserweight division was tanked, so I had three options:

1) Do with what I have and have people get overtired of Mysterio vs X

2) Raid the indy's and have my booking seem more unrealistic than it already is (:P) Or,

3) Kill off the title and bring in one anew.

I chose three, and originally had plans to call the old ECW title the new WWE Hardcore Title. Then in the spirit of continuality of WWE storylines, I decided not to since tecnically the HC Championship is part of the Worlds Championship now, so I brought in ERC.

I also had plans for someone else to be GM, but that immediately fell through.

I'm hoping for Velocity sometime this evening, and I should let you all know this now. I'm going away for a week this Saturday, and upon arriving home, I'll be tired as Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty's gimmicks, so don't expect SD! until next Tuesday at the earliest.

EDIT: I should also tell you that these firings that are happening are 3 month long WWE firings in which people are allowed to turn (Angle) or get a rehashed gimmick (Cena) or heal up (Eddie)

Edited by theonemankliq
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I'm hoping for Velocity sometime this evening, and I should let you all know this now. I'm going away for a week this Saturday, and upon arriving home, I'll be tired as Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty's gimmicks, so don't expect SD! until next Tuesday at the earliest.

Yes, because once you're gone I'll be reeling off Heat and Raw in six hours flat, just to make you look bad.



...Or not.

Indeed. You see, after a few trades over to RAW, my cruiserweight division was tanked

This is from the guy who originally offered me Rey Mysterio because "he had nothing for him".

Talk about realistic WWE booking. ;)

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Here's the Velocity results for this week in the format that WWE.com gives for Smackdown! and RAW results. I expect that Stokes will follow suit with this style for Heat.

Velocity—August 21st, 2004

user posted image

An action packed Velocity this week, with none other than Maven taking Bill Demott’s spot in the commentary chair next to Josh Matthews!

In singles action Chavo Guerrero took on Orlando Jordan in an intense match. Guerrero took it to the air the entire time while Jordan attempted to keep him grounded. In the end Guerrero hit a tornado DDT for the win!

Torrie Wilson was followed by someone in a black cloak as she walked out of the building to her car. The eerie figure got into a black convertible and went on to follow her car! (79 %)

Rhyno took on Rey Mysterio in a short match, lasting a total of thirty seconds. Rhyno hit the gore with a chair on his shoulder and got the three count!

In the main event a surprise in Val Venis teamed with Billy Gun and Hardcore Holly to take on The Bashams and Jonny the Bull! With the Money Shot and a smug grin on his face, a new Smackdown! superstar stole the show! Afterwards, Val explained that on Raw there wasn’t enough “talent” for his new productions, so he came over to Smackdown to try to Smack something other than his TV, if you catch his drift ;). (79%)


Chavo Guerrero defeated Orlando Jordan (69%)

Funaki defeated Jaime Noble (79%)

Rhyno defeated Rey Mysterio (81%)

Gunn/Holly/Venis defeated The Bashams and Jonny the Bull (69%)

Edited by theonemankliq
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Here's the Velocity results for this week in the format that WWE.com gives for Smackdown! and RAW results. I expect that Stokes will follow suit with this style for Heat.


Oh, but I'd already written out Heat... :(

It's not like the length or quality of Raw obviously (it's less than 1/5 of the length), but the segments are important to me, so I'm afraid I'll be putting it in here as it's already written. This is NOT to show you up or anything...

Besides, I'm always criticised for making my B-shows too long. It's just something I do. :ohwell:

WWE HEAT 22/08/04

user posted image

Announcers: Jonathon Coachman and Al Snow

COACH: “Welcome everyone to Sunday Night HEAT – I am the Coach, and alongside me as always is my good buddy Al Snow!”

AL: “Great to be here as always Coach, now let’s get this show on the road!”

Garrison Cade vs. Val Venis

Despite being caught off guard early on by accidentally walking into a Spinebuster, Venis would reverse his fortunes and go on to win. He hit Cade with a Running DDT, before climbing the turnbuckle and landing the Money Shot to pick up the pinfall. Cade was not at all happy with his loss, and took out his frustrations on referee Chad Patton with a stiff right hand. He took time out to flip off the jeering crowd before moping all the way to the back.

WINNER: Val Venis, by pinfall (clean)

Match: 73

Crowd: 66

Overall: 69 (1.75 stars)

COACH: “Val Venis with the victory - and Garrison Cade does NOT look happy!”

AL: “Well I wouldn’t be happy either if I were pinned by a porn star. At least, not by a male porn star.”

COACH: “I hear that! And referee Chad Patton looks like he could need some lovin’ too after taking that right hand to the face from Cade!”

AL: “Well refereeing is a dangerous job Coach. I’ve been a guest referee a couple of times and I can say that it’s hell when a guy like that gets in your face. It can be real ugly sometimes.”

COACH: “Yeah, I guess you’ve got to be ready to defend yourself if they try to punch your lights out.”

AL: “No. I mean they’re just ugly. If I wanted to be up close and personal with a face like that I’d divorce my wife and marry a goat.”

Welcome to the Family

We were in the backstage area where we saw the ‘Italian-American’ Chuck Palumbo walking casually down the corridor. Exchanging a quick “Hey” or “Yo, whassup?” with people as he passed them, he glanced down a side corridor as he walked on past it. Suddenly he stopped, and his eyes widened. Backtracking a few steps, he looked back down the corridor in disbelief.

PALUMBO: “B…boss?”

The camera came round to see none other than the man who had been the leader of the Full Blooded Italians back on SmackDown, Nunzio himself!

NUNZIO: “Charles, my man – how’s it been for ya? Kicking ass and taking names, just we did in the old days, am I right?”

PALUMBO: “Uh…not exactly…but boss, what are you doing here?”

NUNZIO: “Eh things weren’t working out over on SmackDown. Having The Undertaker back around kinda put a downer on the whole business, shall we say. I got myself traded over to RAW – thought of it like moving into a new territory, all fresh and free for the taking. Speaking of which, I’ve got someone I’d like ya to meet.”

Nunzio walked away and brought over a young dark haired man, who was sipping at a cappuccino…and bore a surprising amount of resemblance.

NUNZIO: “This is my nephew, Riccardo. He recently came over from Sicily, and I promised my brother I’d set him up, ya know, so I got him a job here.”

Riccardo lowered his cup of coffee and shook Palumbo’s hand.

RICCARDO: “Pleased to meet ya.”

PALUMBO: “Uh…likewise.”

Nunzio put his arm over Riccardo’s shoulder and smirked.

NUNZIO: “Takes right after me, don’t he? We both got the family good looks as well as the brains. But hey Charles, I was hoping to run into ya. We got a match tonight against those two goons in the tights – Hurricane and Rosey. It’s Riccardo’s first match here, ya understand, so it’s all gotta go down without a hitch, get what I’m saying?”

PALUMBO: “Sure boss, no problem.”

NUNZIO: “I’m glad. See Charles, that’s why I always liked you. Ya got a real eye for this business, ya know what’s gotta be done. How about working for me full time again?”

PALUMBO: “Oh boss, that’d be great!”

NUNZIO: “Now that’s good ta hear. Come on boys, we’ve got us some new territory for the taking…”


Riccardo debuted his new gimmick, ‘Fiery Italian’, which got a positive response.

Riccardo gained 7 points of overness from this segment (56 - 63)

COACH: “Well! Looks like the FBI are officially back in action here on Heat!”

AL: “That’s got to be bad news for somebody. Think you’ll be able to cover the payments Coach?”

COACH: “What, you think I’ll have to pay those guys protection money or something?”

AL: “Well you just come off as the easily exploitable type.”

COACH: “Thanks…”

AL: “No offence of course.”

COACH: “Right…well next we have the match that I’M most looking forward to this evening. That’s right – it’s time for the LADIES!”

AL: “Yeah Victoria and Gail Kim – two very impressive ladies, if you know what I mean.”

COACH: “I think I do! It’s going to be a great spectacle, in one way or another, and it’s coming up…right after this.”

(Commercial Break)

Gail Kim vs. Victoria

Victoria had the most of this match from start to finish, although there was a moment towards the end when Gail suddenly managed to lock on one of her deadly submission moves. Luckily for Victoria, however, she was able to break out of the hold after grabbing the bottom rope. She would then reverse an Irish whip and hit Gail with the Widow’s Peak to get the win. After celebrating her victory for a short while, Victoria went to leave the ring. However Gail pulled her back…offering her hand as a sign of respect for the way she’d been beaten. Thinking about it for a moment, Victoria cautiously took her hand, and they shook on it! The crowd gave a cheer for this show of sportsmanship for the defeated Gail Kim.

WINNER: Victoria, by pinfall (clean)

Match: 66

Crowd: 62

Overall: 64 (1 star)

More than she bargained for

Victoria and Gail’s handshake was cut short as Woman’s champion Trish Stratus ran in from the crowd and attacked Victoria from behind! Knocking her down, Trish got to her knees and starting laying in to Victoria with punches to the head. But then…Gail Kim dragged Trish off of her! Trish looked at Gail with disgust, and slapped her across the face! Gail slapped her back…and Trish took her down with a body tackle! Trish and Gail started brawling, but soon Victoria came in to increase the odds. Eventually Gail and Victoria’s combined efforts had Trish in retreat! She swore at them both as she made her way back up the ramp, while Gail and Victoria stood triumphant in the ring!


Trish Stratus lost 2 points of overness from this segment (87 – 85)

Gail Kim’s turn is complete, and she is now a face

Gail Kim gained 4 points of overness from this segment (54 – 58)

COACH: “Trish Stratus is sent packing thanks to the teamwork of Gail Kim and Victoria!”

AL: “I’m sure Trish didn’t expect Victoria and Gail to be working together, and that miscalculation inevitably caused her plan to backfire!”

COACH: “You know I wouldn’t mind being taken down by Trish in ANY circumstances…”

AL: “Face it Coach, you wouldn’t mind being attacked by a raging bull if it was wearing a skirt.”

(Commercial Break)

RAW Rebound

We returned from the commercial break with a brief recap of what happened on RAW this past Monday. The video focused on the situation between Evolution, Matt Hardy and Edge – starting with Matt’s attack on Randy Orton with a steel chair, and ending with the Evolution beatdown after the tag team match later on.


COACH: “And I think Matt Hardy learned a valuable lesson last Monday – you do NOT mess with Evolution!”

AL: “How right you are Coach. Hopefully in the future he’ll remember that…for his own sake!”

Behind ever Super Hero is a good woman

We were backstage where super heroes The Hurricane and Rosey – joined by the lovely Stacy Keibler – were being interviewed about their match next.

GRISHAM: “Hurricane and Rosey, you two are set to face Nunzio and his nephew Riccardo who is new here to the WWE. What strategy will you have going into a match with an opponent who you know nothing about?”

Stacy Keibler stepped in the answer his question for them.

STACY: “Todd, please. Remember who you’re talking to. You’re talking about of the most daring duo of crime fighters in all of history! They’ve taken on the worst super-villains in the world and won – they can more than handle a couple of underworld thugs like the FBI. They’re overflowing with all kinds of super powers – and believe me, not only do they have powers that can make short work of their opponents in the ring tonight, but they’re also got the super powers to make short work out of me…if you know what I mean.”

Stacy looked both men up and down and winked suggestively. Rosey’s eyes widened, and he turned to his partner in justice.

ROSEY: “Holy Innuendo Hurricane!”

Hurricane placed his thumb and forefinger on his chin in the classic thinking pose, before turning to Stacy.

HURRICANE: “Citizen Stacy - now is not the time to be discussing my Hurri-Prowess. It is a time to join against Organised Crime in the name of Justice, as we delve into battle with the FBI!”

Hurricane struck his trademark pose, and pointed his arm down the corridor.

HURRICANE: “Come, Super Hero Rosey! We must fly!”

With that, Hurricane and Rosey ‘flew’ off in the direction of the ring, while Todd Grisham watched them go with an expression of quiet awe. Stacy, meanwhile, did something that I can almost guarantee you have never, ever seen a girl do in real life. She actually swooned.

STACY: “I just love super heroes…”


Rosey gained 1 point of overness from the phrase “Holy Innuendo Hurricane!” (65 – 66)

COACH: “The resident Super Heroes are out in full force! They meet the brand new team of Nunzio and the debuting Riccardo of the FBI – that’s our main event, and its next!”

Hurricane and Rosey (w/ Stacy Keibler) vs. Nunzio and Riccardo (w/ Chuck Palumbo)

Although Nunzio and Hurricane started out in the ring, Riccardo was soon tagged in by his uncle to show us what he could do. Consequently, he got a lot of moves in. He definitely seemed to be on par with Hurricane, certainly when it came to his technical and high flying ability. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Stacy cheered on like an infatuated schoolgirl, and Palumbo mainly stood there and looked threatening. The ending came when the referee became temporarily distracted by Rosey’s attempts to enter the ring and help out his partner. This allowed Palumbo to run in, hit Hurricane with ‘The Whack’, and leave before anyone knew what was going on. Nunzio covered Hurricane just in time for the referee to turn around and count the fall.

WINNERS: Nunzio and Riccardo of the FBI, by pinfall (interference)

Match: 81

Crowd: 64

Overall: 72 (2.5 stars)

After the match, Stacy ran for safety as the three members of the FBI attacked Hurricane and Rosey. They made sure to showcase Riccardo’s talents, allowing him to perform a Standing Shooting Star on Hurricane. The FBI members hugged each other, and stood tall in the ring as the show went off the air.


TV Ratings: 4.86

Attendance: 7,543

Best Match: Hurricane and Rosey vs. Nunzio and Riccardo – 72

Worst Match: Gail Kim vs. Victoria – 64

Best Segment: Interview with Hurricane, Rosey and Stacy Keibler – 82

Worst Segment: Gail Kim saves Victoria from Trish’s attack - 67

Edited by stokeriño
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New Superstar debuts on Sunday Night HEAT

The character of "Riccardo", who debuted on Sunday Night Heat as Nunzio's nephew, is actually Kevin Martel - the real-life nephew of former AWA World champion and WWE superstar Rick 'The Model' Martel.

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Kevin 'Riccardo' Martel

Kevin was first scouted by the WWE at a CPW (Canadian Professional Wrestling) show back in February, where Martel faced fellow Canadian Kevin Steen in what was described by many as the match of the night. His obvious potential would inevitably lead to the 20 year old being approached by WWE directly, although his heritage more than likely influenced their decision to hire him.

Originally brought in on a development deal, Martel lasted only a few weeks in OVW before being called up by Vince McMahon himself. It is alleged that Vince saw a picture of Martel in the profile files of OVW, and immediately had the idea to bring him in to join Nunzio and reform the FBI on RAW. Apparently Jim Cornette would have liked to have Martel continue working in OVW for at least a few more months, but there was no arguing with Vince. He had the right look for the role, and Martel made his debut last night on Heat. Only three weeks after debuting in OVW, Martel has made it to the big leagues of professional wrestling.

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WWE.com Official RAW Preview - August 23rd 3004

Last week the match between Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho to decide the Number One Contender to the World Heavyweight Title became a Triple Threat, as the Big Show was added to the mix! But this led to an unusual decision, as Benoit and Jericho were declared joint winners after pinning the Big Show simultaneously! What does this mean for Triple H and his World Heavyweight title? Well you have the chance to find out, as Triple H will be the guest on the Highlight Reel! You simply can't afford to miss RAW this Monday!

Matt Hardy and the Intercontinental Edge picked up an important win over Evolution, with Hardy pinning Randy Orton in a tag team match! However Evolution would have the last laugh as they delivered a brutal four-on-two beatdown on the victors. Will Matt and Edge retaliate further? Find out only on RAW!

By order of Eric Bischoff, William Regal and Eugene will team up in the ring to take on a team of Bischoff's choosing! Bischoff's dislike for his nephew is well documented, so it's not going to be an easy ride to say the least! Just what has Bischoff got in store for Eugene and Regal? Tune in this Monday to find out!

Shelton Benjamin, Christian, Trish Stratus and Victoria are just a few of the other superstars who will also be in attendance. All this and more on RAW - only on Spike TV at 9/8 CT!

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