Kanegetshighbysmellinhisarmpits

WWE RAW Preview

After the historic events off last Monday's RAW, this coming Monday is the blow off, as all four of the new members of the RAW brand will be featured in some way, shape or form. As the first Pay-Per-View after WrestleMania, the RAW produced Backlash, is only one week away, Eric Bischoff has a big announcement regarding the Backlash PPV. The World Heavyweight Champion Batista and his opponent for Backlash, Christian, will face off in a singles match, as a warm up for their match at Backlash. Also, Randy Orton and thte Undertaker collide as they also warm up for their match at next week's PPV. Be sure to tune in on Monday, as we join the road to Backlash!

Confirmed Matches:

Batista vs Christian

The Undertaker vs Randy Orton

Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero

William Regal/Tajiri vs Sylvain Grenier/Maven

Full list of Trades:

To RAW:

Chavo Guerrero

Rey Mysterio

Booker T

The Undertaker

To SmackDown:

Gene Snitsky

Edge

Chris Benoit

Shawn Michaels

I'm all for constructive criticism, but Triple X needs to look in a dictionary and find out what it means. Thanks for the support, Sally, it was very much appreciated by me ang Mr.G.

RAW presents Monday Night RAW!

Overall Rating: 80%

TV Rating: 5.98

Jim Ross and Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler welcome you to a historic Monday Night RAW from Toronto, Canada.

‘No Chance’ hits and the owner of the WWE, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, swaggers down to the ring, carrying a microphone. Vince then puts the mic to his mouth and says “I will start by welcoming you all to a truly historic night. Tonight, the world will witness the second roster draft between RAW and SmackDown. For tonight only, I have given each brand’s General Manager the ability to walk up to any superstar in the arena and try to persuade them to join their brand Two trades have already been completed, with Chavo Guerrero moving to RAW and Gene Snitsky moving to SmackDown, and Gene Snitsky will be in action next in a match for the WWE Tag Team Championships, partnering with John Heidenreich. I will now finish by telling all of you to enjoy the historic night, and to be enthralled with the promise of surprise inter-brand matches.” Vince then leaves, with a massive smirk on his face while the crowd go wild.

1st Match: Poetic Accident (Gene Snitsky and John Heidenreich) vs Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio. This match is for the Eddie’s/Rey’s Tag Team titles. This was a match dominated by the sheer strength of the challengers Snitsky and Heidenreich, who controlled Rey Mysterio for the length of the match, as Guerrero refused to accept Rey’s offer of a tag. The match ended when Rey slid out of a body slam attempt, and slid out of the ring and fell to the floor, exhausted. However, Guerrero hits Rey with a title belt and tosses him into the ring, allowing Snitsky to hit the Pump-Handle Slam and pick up the win. Afterwards, Poetic Accident and Guerrero triple team Mysterio, beating him down in the corner and then Poetic Accident power bombed Mysterio through a table. 84%

Eric Bischoff is in the ring, carrying a briefcase and a microphone. He says “I thank Mr. McMahon for this brilliant opportunity, and I intend to grasp it with two hands. I will start making the most of tonight by attempting to sign a SmackDown superstar that I’ve been interested in for quite a while. This superstar is being under used on SmackDown, and I, Eric Bischoff, promise that I will use him better on RAW. The time for flattery is over, and I will now ask…Booker T to join me in the ring.” Booker’s music hits and he walks to the ring. When he is standing in front of Bischoff, Eric says “I will give you, Booker T, a fair chance at stardom on RAW” and Bischoff offers Booker the briefcase. Booker takes the briefcase and opens it, revealing a contract and a pen. Booker stares back at Bischoff, before taking the pen and signing the contract. Bischoff celebrates, as Booker plays to the crowd. 74%

Theodore Long is sitting in his temporary GM office when Edge walks in, carrying his briefcase. Edge storms up to Long’s desk and slams the briefcase on it. Edge says “I’m frustrated with the state of the roster on RAW, and I want to use my guaranteed title shot on SmackDown.” A massive smile appears on Long’s face, who quickly pulls a contract out of the desk. He then gives it to Edge, saying “I was going to try to sign you anyway playa.” Edge quickly signs the contract and thrusts it back into Theodore’s face, rising from his seat and leaving the room with his briefcase, leaving Long with a smile on his face. 85%

2nd Match: Orlando Jordan vs Shelton Benjamin. This was a match between the two brands’ secondary titles. This match was a showcase of Shelton’s skills in the ring, and Jordan’s resilience against high power moves. The match came to it’s end when Carlito Caribbean Cool ran down and blasted Jordan with a chair, which made the referee call for a disqualification, giving Orlando the win by DQ. Obviously, Shelton was incensed, and he super kicked the chair back into Carlito’s face, before taking his Intercontinental Belt and playing to the crowd. 79%

Shawn Michaels came down with a microphone. He gets in the ring and says “I was touched by the reception that I got two weeks ago at WrestleMania 21, even when I lost to Kurt Angle. I have been trying to get over this loss, just trying to put it behind me, but I’ve realised that I can’t move on with my career without beating Angle in a re-match. Now, HBK realises that he has had many good times on RAW, including winning the World Heavyweight Title. But, in order to continue with my career, I plead to Theodore Long to come down to the ring, with a contract so that I can join SmackDown and have my re-match with Kurt Angle. After a brief pause, Long comes out with a contract and a pen. HBK takes the contract from Long and signs it very quickly, before giving back the contract to Long. Long has yet another smile appearing on his face, while Shawn plays to the crowd. 80%

Rey Mysterio is in his locker room, nursing his injuries, when Eric Bischoff walks into the room, with a contract. Bischoff tells Mysterio “I truly feel sorry for your double loss tonight, not just of your tag team title, but also of your tag team partner.” Mysterio then says “I can’t look at Eddie Guerrero’s face ever again.” Bischoff tells Mysterio “I understand that, Rey, and I believe that I may have found a solution.” He offers Rey the contract, saying that Rey can join RAW, which will get him away from Guerrero. Mysterio takes a second to think about it, and then he signs the contract. Mysterio thrusts the contract back at Bischoff, who takes it and turns to leave, with a smirk on his face. 84%

Shawn Michaels was walking backstage, when he heard a strange chuckle from around the corner, Shawn increased his pace in the general direction of the noise, and began running when the chuckles turned to laughter, Shawn turned the corner and froze. RVD was slouched against a vending machine,

"Shawn! Dude! how are you man? it's been timeage" The heartbreak kid took a slow step back before responding,

"Hey Rob...I'm fine...you ok?"

"Ah Shawn I'm awesome! I'm just chilling with my bud Wesley, wanna join us?" Shawn took a further two steps back.

"Robbie, your on your own...well vending machine aside"

"Woah Shawn, who are you to discriminate against vending machines? Me and Wesley go way back, come sit boy." Shawn slowly turned and quickly walked away, muttering some excuse. 88%

3rd Match: A 20-Man Battle Royal for a no.1 contender shot at their respective brands World title.

Order of Elimination: -

1. Funaki – Tomko big boot over the top rope

2. Tyson Tomko – Holly dropkick from behind

3. Mark Jindrak – foolishly went up top and got pushed off by Nunzio

4. Hardcore Holly – Kane toss over the rope

5. Nunzio – Kane toss over the rope

6. Akio – Big Show toss over the top rope

7. The Hurricane – Kane toss over the top rope

8. Paul London – Big Show toss over the top rope

9. Tajiri – Hassan and Kane double team

10. Val Venis – same fate as Tajiri

11. Muhammed Hassan – Kane toss over the top rope

12. Eugene Dinsmore – slingshot over the top by Rob Van Dam

13. Kane – RVD, Show, Booker and Jericho push him over the top

14. Big Show – Edge low blow, followed by a triple team

15. Booker T – RVD spin kick over the top rope

16. Rob Van Dam – Benoit German Suplex over the top

17. Chris Benoit – dropkicked off the turnbuckle when preparing for Air Canada

18. Chris Jericho – Christian and Edge double team

19. Edge – Christian avoids a spear and he pushes Edge over the top to win.

79%

Eric Bischoff is in the ring with Randy Orton. Orton has a microphone and he says that “Tonight, I call the Undertaker out, once again, and challenge him to a re-match at Backlash. If the Undertaker accepts my challenge, he must come out tonight and sign for the RAW brand, allowing him to face the Legend Killer, Randy Orton at Backlash.” Orton is about to continue, when Taker’s music hits, and he makes his entrance. After he eventually reaches the ring, Taker grabs the microphone from Orton. He says “I have gotten sick of your insults and your mockery of me, and I officially accepts your challenge.” He then snatches the contract from Bischoff and signs it, before throwing it in Bischoff’s face and pushing Orton down. However, before he can do anything, Long appears on the stage, saying that he has already got a replacement lined up. Then, Benoit runs out of the crowd and attacks Bischoff from behind, before grabbing a fallen mic, and saying that he has joined SmackDown due to the lack of opportunities that were offered to him after his title loss last year. He then throws the mic at Orton and continues to beat down Bischoff, leaving Taker staring at Orton while Long looks on from the stage, satisfied. 75%

4th Match: John Cena and Batista vs Triple H and John Bradshaw Layfield. This was a match between the two former champions and the two current champions. This was an extremely entertaining match, with each man showing why he has been involved with the World Title for both brands. Although HHH and JBL tried to cheat their way to a victory, Batista won the match with a ‘Tista Bomb on JBL after Cena had hit an F-U on HHH. After the match, Batista and Cena were left in the middle of the ring, both carrying their titles. Both champions stared at each other, face to face, and the tension rose dramatically, especially when Batista grabbed Cena’s arm. As the crowd went wild in expectation, Batista rose Cena’s arm in celebration, and as both men celebrated in the middle of the ring, with the crowd going wild, the show ended. 83%

RAW presents Sunday Night Heat

Overall Rating: 74%

TV Rating: 4.81

Simon Inoki and Al Snow welcome you to Sunday Night Heat from Toronto, Canada.

1st Match: Sylvain Grenier vs Steven Richards. This was mostly Steven’s match, as he dominated Grenier for most of the contest. However, when Richards went for a Super Kick, Grenier ducked and hit Steven with a low blow, out of sight of the referee, allowing Sylvain to pick up the win. Grenier then stumbled up the ramp, leaving an angry Richard’s in the ring, looking on. 66%

Muhammed Hassan is in the ring and he has a microphone. He starts off by saying that he is sick of fans cheering wrestlers who have minimal talent, but who come from the U.S.A. He says that the fans won’t cheer for more talented wrestlers like himself due to him coming from the Middle East. Well, Hassan says that it doesn’t matter that the fans won’t cheer for him, as he will continue to display his superb wrestling skills, just to annoy the idiots who continue to jeer him. Before Hassan can go on, however, Marty Jannetty appears on the stage, and he also has a microphone. Marty tells Hassan that he is the idiot, not the fans, and that the fans only jeer him because he is a cocky fool who doesn’t have any skills in the ring. Hassan gets upset at this, and he has a temper tantrum. Jannetty starts to laugh at Hassan, and he then tells Hassan that he will shut him up in the ring, next. The crowd goes wild as Hassan tosses his microphone to one side and Jannetty runs down the ramp. 77%

2nd Match: Marty Jannetty vs Muhammed Hassan. This was a very entertaining match, as both tried their hardest to put each other away. However, Hassan won the match by using the tights to roll up Jannetty and pick up the three count. Hassan then backs up the ramp, trash-talking Jannetty. 66%

3rd Match: William Regal and Eugene Dinsmore vs Gene Snitsky and Mark Henry. This was a match dominated by the sheer power of Snitsky and Henry, with occasional flashes of technical manouveres from Eugene and Regal. The match ended when Eugene hits the Stunner on Henry, allowing Regal to lock in the Regal Stretch which makes Henry submit. 67%

A video is played, showing last week on RAW where Triple H and Ric Flair ran down to help Christian and Tomko in their match, aswell as Flair going in to Christian’s locker room earlier in the show. 84%

4th Match: Shelton Benjamin vs Tajiri vs The Hurricane. This was a fantastic match between three very talented superstars, each adding something to this brilliant contest. This match ended when Tajiri hit the Bussaw Kick on The Hurricane but, before he could get the pin, Shelton hit the T-Bone suplex on Tajiri to pick up the win. Afterwards, all three men shake hands, and this is when the show ends. 77%

WWE RAW preview

A truly historic night awaits the WWE when the next edition of RAW airs on this coming monday. The second annual WWE draft (with a new twist) will occur. Added to this, interpromotional matches will take place, featuring all of your favourite RAW and SmackDown superstars. Be sure to tune in!

Confirmed Matches:

JBL and Triple H vs John Cena and Batista

Shelton Benjamin vs Orlando Jordan

20 man battle royal for a shot at one of the brand's world title

Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio defend their WWE Tag titles against surprise opponents

and much, much more...

RAW presents Monday Night RAW!

Overall Rating: 81%

TV Rating: 6.04

1st Match: Eugene Dinsmore vs Gene Snitsky. This was an extremely one-sided contest, with Snitsky destroying Eugene throughout the match. Snitsky hit power move after power move, never stopping to rest or taunt, and hardly leaving Eugene time to breathe in between the moves. The merciful end came when Eugene went up top, but Snitsky caught him in mid-air, and hit the Pump-Handle Slam to pick up the win. 67%

Triple H’s music hits, and the Game makes his way to the ring. He receives a microphone from Lillian Garcia and puts it to his mouth, to a sea of boos and ‘Batista’ chants from the crowd. HHH starts by saying “You are all fools, fools because you cheer for a loser like Batista. Yes, Batista did beat me at WrestleMania, but it was a one-off - a fluke…a lucky win. Deep down, you all know the truth. You all know that Batista will follow his former Evolution member, Randy Orton. Orton rose to the top, rose to become World Heavyweight Champion, but he didn’t respect his exceptional mentor, his outstanding teacher…his friend. Me. The Game. Triple H. (More Batista chants). Orton got cocky, he got arrogant, but most importantly, he got over-confident. And that led to Orton spitting…spitting…in my face. MY FACE! But, in the end, I showed Orton that he wasn’t as good as me, and his title reign was over as soon as it had begun. Batista’s rise to the top has been the same, he was a member of my group, Evolution, he was taught and tutored by the best, me, and I acted as Batista’s mentor. And when he won the Royal Rumble, I was proud of him. I was proud of him because I knew that Batista had the chance to be great, had the chance to go down in history as a great…WWE Champion. On SmackDown. We, as Evolution, could have established ourselves as the supreme force in Sports Entertainment by holding both of the World Titles. But it wasn’t to be. Batista got cocky, Batista got arrogant, Batista got…over-confident. And, while he did what Orton couldn’t do, beat me, The Game, I know that Batista is scared. Yes, Batista is scared. Is scared of the Game, and Batista knows that I will have my belt firmly back around my waist in the very, very near future, because I am…that…damn…good.” 94%

We are backstage, and we see Christian enter his locker room with Tyson Tomko, about to prepare for their tag match later tonight. However, the camera stays outside the room and, about a minute later, Ric Flair appears and enters the locker room, closing the door behind him. 92%

2nd Match: Kane vs Maven. This was a squash match, as Kane totally battered Maven from start to finish, never letting Maven get even a punch on the Big Red Machine, as Kane showed his dominance over the smaller superstar. Kane finally ended the match with a vicious Chokeslam. However, after the match, Edge appeared, carrying the briefcase, and he runs down to the ring and hits Kane with the briefcase. He then beats down the big man, after which he opens the briefcase and takes out a microphone. 72%

Edge raises the mic to his lips to some serious heat from the crowd and says, “Why do you boo me? I proved my title credentials, last night, with my win at WrestleMania.” He stops to watch Kane be led away by officials, and he laughs before continuing “ Last night, I proved myself to be better than every other superstar on RAW. Well, nearly every superstar. I know that I am nearly the best wrestler on this brand, but I need to prove that I am better than one man…Triple H. I respect Triple H more than any other superstar in the history of this business for all his accomplishments and achievements, and I would consider it an honour if I was able to work with him in any way possible.” Before he can continue, the fans start to chant ‘Batista’. Edge continues. “Batista is a joke. I could beat him any day of the week. That’s why I am not going to use my title shot (he pat his briefcase) any time soon, especially when that one-hit-wonder Batista is champion. I want to win the belt off a respectable champion, someone who deserved to win the biggest prize in our business.” As more Batista chants echo around the arena, Edge then gets annoyed. “If you all love Batista so much, then I will face him tonight in a non-title match, to prove that I am better than Batista, and to shut you all up.” 85%

Eric Bischoff is talking to Shawn Michaels in the GM’s office. Bischoff says “Shawn, you let me down last night but, more importantly, you let the RAW brand as a whole down at WrestleMania when you lost to Kurt Angle. With the Draft coming up after Backlash, I am seriously considering your future on RAW.” Before Michaels can comment, Bischoff tells him to go and get ready for a triple-threat match tonight with Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho, so that Shawn can prove his worth to Eric and the RAW brand. 80%

Randy Orton is in the ring with a microphone, and he is receiving boo’s and ‘Taker’ chants from the crowd. He says “I am severely disappointed with my loss to the Undertaker, last night, at WrestleMania. I had the match won, and that was clear for you all to see. But Taker, in a total act of desperation, used his last remaining bit of strength to reverse my Tombstone attempt into one of his own. However, I still regard myself as the legend killer. Even after losing to the Undertaker, I still believe that I am the Legend Killer, simply because…Taker is not a legend. (Taker chants get louder). I lost all respect for Taker when he stepped into the ring at WrestleMania and put on such a poor performance. I had to carry the match all the way through…the Undertaker is highly overrated. I do not regard the Undertaker as a legend, because he has lost all respectability within the ring. A few years ago, when Taker was a bit younger, a bit fitter, a bit more agile, he was a legend. But, before WrestleMania, Taker was challenged by the Legend Killer Randy Orton, and Taker became worried. Worried that such a great wrestler as Randy Orton might expose his diminishing talent. So, Taker let me carry the match, let me bust my ass to make the match respectable so that it wouldn’t ruin the success that was WrestleMania 21. And then, when I was just about to win, Taker hit his finisher and won. To keep his record going, to keep his legend status, and to keep his pride. Well, Randy Orton officially challenges the old man that is the Undertaker to a re-match at Backlash, so that I can finally show the world…that the Undertaker will just become another name added to the Legends that I have destroyed. 88%

3rd Match: Shelton Benjamin and The Hurricane vs Christian and Tyson Tomko. This was a very entertaining match up, with the faces showing no sign of miss-communication or confusion with their new partner. Both Shelton and the Hurricane seemed to cope with Tomko’s superior strength and Christian’s constant bending of the rules. Just as the faces were getting on top, however, Ric Flair ran down to the ring and, while Christian pretended to be hurt, low blowed The Hurricane and hit him with some brass knuckles, allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier and take the victory. After the match, Triple H ran down to the ring and the four heels beat down Benjamin and Hurricane. Then, Christian and Tomko shook hands with HHH and Flair, and they left together. 72%

4th Match: Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho vs Shawn Michaels. This was a brilliant match between three extremely talented performers, each having their own period of domination. Benoit had to rescue HBK from the Walls of Jericho, while Jericho had to rescue. HBK from a Crippler Crossface. The end came when Benoit missed a headbutt to the bloody HBK, and Jericho hit a Lionsault on Shawn to win the match. All three then shook hands after the match. 86%

5th Match: Batista vs Edge. This was a good match, with Batista displaying a lot of the skills that won him the World Heavyweight Championship, and with Edge displaying much of the resilience that he used to win the six-way ladder match. Batista managed to avoid multiple Spear attempts from Mr Money in the Bank, and Edge managed to scramble his way out of a ‘Tista Bomb. The end came when Edge went out side to get his briefcase, and was about to hit Batista with it, but Batista blocked it, and he hit Edge with the ‘Titsa Bomb to win the match. Afterwards, Edge trash talked Batista while he scrambled back up the ramp, and this is when the show ended. 81%

what timeframe of this?

RAW presents Sunday Night Heat

Overall Rating: 67%

TV Rating: 4.51

Simon Inoki and Al Snow welcome you to Sunday Night Heat from the Staples Centre, Washington D.C.

1st Match: Marty Jannetty vs Maven. This was a decent opener, with both men showing some of their talents, but Jannetty always looked the stronger man, using his experience to great effect. Jannetty controlled the majority of the match with various holds and he was generally able to keep Maven grounded. However, when the end came, it was Maven who secured the pin, rolling Jannetty up and using the ropes for leverage to stop Jannetty kicking out. Afterwards, Maven trashed talked Jannetty while he backed up the ramp. 60%

Val Venis is backstage, doing an interview with Al Snow. Venis says how he is sick of being kept out of the spotlight, and how he is easily one of the more talented, aswell as being one of the more sexy wrestlers on the RAW roster. He then states his intention to rise through the ranks, destroying everyone who stands in his way, until he achieves success. 72%

2nd Match: Val Venis vs Sylvain Grenier. This was a very one-sided match-up, with Venis dominating from the very start, attacking Grenier during the Frenchman’s entrance. Val was obvioulsy pumped up for this match, and he hit Grenier with many powerful slams and strikes The end came when Grenier tapped out to the Venis Fly-Trap, and Venis beat-down Grenier after the match. 63%

Tajiri is in the ring, to mass cheers from the crowd, when Muhammed Hassan comes out on the stage with a microphone. He says how Tajiri is stupid, because he actually believes the fans when they cheer him. Hassan says how the fans don’t like foreigners, like Tajiri and himself, and that they will turn on Tajiri in the near future. Hassan asks Tajiri to join him on the stage, to join him in a tag team of two foreigners against the whole of American society. When Tajiri shakes his head, Hassan says that he is foolish, and that he will have to beat the sense into Tajiri, and he runs down to the ring. A referee appears, and the bell is rung. 70%

3rd Match: Tajiri vs Muhammed Hassan. Hassan got the early advantage due to his surprise attack, but Tajiri slowly turned it round with his martial arts skills. As Hassan tried to cheat his way to victory, the Japanese superstar constantly out-thought Hassan using various kicks and moves like the Tarantula and Green Mist to wear down Hassan. Tajiri won the match when Hassan tried to hit Tajiri with the ring bell, but Tajiri ducked and hit Hassan with the Bussaw Kick, and pinned him to pick up the win. 68%

A hype video is played showing the new World Heavyweight Champion, Batista. The video recaps his rise to the top, and shows the end from WrestleMania. 80%

4th Match: The Hurricane vs Tyson Tomko. This was an interesting match, with the Hurricane using his speed to tire out the bigger but slower, Tomko, who occasionally landed a big move to stop the Hurricane’s onslaught. The end came when Christian ran down and, while Tomko distracted the referee, low blowed Hurricane and then hit him with the Unprettier, leaving Tomko to pick up the win. After the match, Tomko and Christian beat down the Hurricane, and this is how the show ends. 65%

Yeah, this is yet another WWE diary, but you won't get bored of this one. It doesn't have a backstory (as we hope that our booking and storylines will keep you reading.) The reason that I keep saying 'we' is that there are two of us doing the same diary - I, James (Kanegetshighbysmellinhisarmpits) am writing RAW, and my mate Greg (Ravenjuice) will be writing SmackDown. We are using the RaveX 34 stats, meaning that our backstory is basically the real results of WrestleMania 21. Shows will be posted on the same days as in real life e.g. Heat on a Sunday, RAW on a monday etc. Columns concerning rumours and general information will be posted every now and then, and thats basically it, except for me saying that I hope that you enjoy reading our version of the WWE!

p.s. I apologise in advance for the difference in quality between my shows and Greg's shows. His are much better due to him being a life-long wrestling fan...I was hooked during the beginning of the Attitude Era (when I was about 9.) And he understands the business much better than I do.

And for those who say Beckham should be stripped of captaincy, who do you replace him with as captain?