Xero Gravity

Monday Night Raw 5/6/06

1 - Wait...That's Not Triple H...

Instead of the staple Triple H promo at the top of the show, we're treated to an appearance from JBL sans his white limo this week. Sporting a fairly large bandage on the side of his head, there is no cocky smile as he marches down to the ring. Lillian runs for cover as he snatches the mic out of her hand and immediately begins shouting.

JBL: SHUT UP!

Naturally that only causes the people in attendance to do the exact opposiste.

JBL: Last week...last week was a travesty of justice! I was so close to getting a shot at being a two time WWE champion, only to have it stolen from me by one man. I know you're sitting back there watching this, with a smile on that obnoxious face of yours. So let me ask you a question...do you know who I am? I am JOHN...BRADSHAW...LAYFIELD! The longest reigning WWE champion for over a decade, and a all round wrestling GOD! So what I want you to do is recall what you did to me last week, and get your ass out here so I can kick your teeth down your throat!

Both Styles and King are hyping up the inevitable encounter between JBL and Triple H for those at home, as Bradshaw paces back and forth without a reply.

JBL: What are you waiting for? Get your ass out here Mysterio...NOW!

It takes a moment to sink in, as both men in the commentary booth mention they should have realised that JBL wasn't referring to Triple H. It only takes a few seconds more before Mysterio's music hits, and he walks onto the stage.

JBL: That's far enough ya' little bastard! Last week I had you right where I wanted you, and I was going to Vengeance with a guaranteed WWE title match against John Cena. I don't know how you managed to knock me out and pin me, but you got lucky! I am wrestling god...I should NOT lose to pre-schoolers! So tonight, right here in front of all these undeserving morons...

Mysterio's finally had enough, and decides to get a few words of his own in.

Rey: Are you STILL concussed? I know he hit you pretty hard, but damn...

JBL: What the hell are you talking about? Speak English dammit!

Rey: Either you're still not one hundred percent, or you're just a big pussy and don't want to go after the real guy that knocked you out last week!

JBL: Are you questioning my judgment?!

Rey: You're damn right I am! You know as well as everyone else here that it was Triple H who hit you with a sledgehammer, not me. But hey, that's just the kind of thing I'd expect from someone like you.

JBL: God dammit, that's it! Tonight...you and me, one on one! I'll make sure you reailse last week was nothing but a fluke and it'll NEVER happen again!

Rey: You're on Bradshaw, after all I need a few warm up matches before my World Heavyweight Title match against Triple H!

Getting the last laugh, Mysterio's music hits and he poses for the fans as JBL throws a temper tantrum in the middle of the ring, and we cut to the first break of the night.

87%

2 - Not The Call He Was Expecting

We come back from the break in Eric Bischoff's office, as he's in the middle of a phone call.

Bischoff: ...yeah, I just wanted to get this all sorted out before next week...what do you mean I'm not going to be able to? But I've got Kurt's number, I can just call him...only temporary? But this is going to throw a huge spanner into the works for me Shane....yes, I know I've come through worse. So who is it? Oh come on, I need to know who I'll be dealing with next week........

Highly disgusted by the outcome of his call, Eric slams the phone shut and tosses it onto the coffee table in front of him. Sighing heavily, he runs his hands through his grey hair.

Bischoff: God Dammit!

83%

3 - Victoria Vs Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James (WWE Womens Title Match)

Despite many wondering why the Womens title was still around, this match looked to prove that the division wasn't dead yet by throwing in the three best wrestlers they had left and hoping to pull a good match out of it. Thanks to existing history with both of her opponents, Trish took the brunt of the offense for most of the opening portion of the match, as the two (formerly and current) unstable divas work her over together. Naturally the cohesion didn't last very long, as Mickie nailed Trish with a Mick Kick but Victoria broke up the count. This gave Trish plenty of time to roll to the outside and recuperate as Victoria reverted to her days as a psycho, and the two went at it much to the surprising enjoyment of the crowd. Eventually it was Victoria who took control, showing her athleticism by hitting a standing moonsault only to have it broken up by the returning Trish. From there the match finally turned into every woman for themselves as a lot of their signature spots were thrown into the mix to make sure that the intrest was kept by the audience. In the end though it came down to Trish catching Mickie with a Chick Kick but being caught in the momentum by a dazed Victoria who rolled her up and held the ropes to steal the victory and the title!

Victoria def. Trish Stratus in a match featuring Mickie James to win the WWE Womens Title. - 73/60/69 - The WWE Women's title has gained image by being in an actual wrestling match.

4 - The Game Does What The Game Wants

From the ring we cut back to one of the many bland corridors of the arena, as Triple H casually walks past a group of technicians. Passing a large sign marked "Parking" gives a good indication that he's on his way out of the arena, but he isn't going to get out just yet

Bischoff: Hunter!

Triple H cringes as he turns to see a less than pleased GM standing behind him.

Triple H: Hey...Eric...what can I do for ya'?

Bischoff: You can start by telling me just where the hell you think you're going.

Triple H: Well, you see that big green sign beside your head? That says parking, so it looks as though I'm going to my car. After that? I figured I'd get in it and leave...

Bischoff: You must be out of your friggin' mind!

Hunter's beginning to lose his patience as he removes his glasses.

Triple H: Need I remind you as to who it is you're talking to?

Bischoff: Oh please, enough with that crap already.

Triple H: Listen to me Eric, and listen good...tonight you've got JBL and Mysterio looking to kick the crap out of each other. As far as I'm concerned, I'm taking no chances until Vengeance. I've waited too damn long to get my title back, so now I've got as good a chance as I'll ever have I'm not going to blow it. Just remember Eric, I gave you a chance to do the right thing last week, and you threw it back in my face...so until the WWE title is back around my waist come Vengeance, this is the last time you'll see me here on Raw...do you understand?

He doesn't wait to find out, instead choosing to just leave regardless of what Bischoff thinks of not. Eric does his best to hide the seething anger inside him, as the camera holds on for an agonisingly long time before cutting back to the ring.

86%

5 - Gunner Scott Vs Trevor Murdoch

Looking for his second straight victory since jumping over to Raw, Gunner Scott goes up against Trevor Murdoch in another rematch from Heat. Anyone who saw that match would be looking for the remote round about now, as thanks solely to Murdoch that match was seen as barely a step or two above terrible. Surprisingly though, this match didn't share the hallmarks of their previous encounter. Someone obviously had words with Trevor, as he didn't put a foot wrong in making Gunner look like a credible competitor. The match wasn't all one sided, as Murdoch brought the hard ass brawler style to go against Scott's Benoit-esque technical arsenal. Towards the end of the match it looked as though Trevor's brute offense was going to over power Gunner and hand him his first defeat. However as Murdoch went for a running clothesline, Scott whipped him up into an over head belly to belly suplex sending him head first into the canvas. For a few moments it wasn't clear if Murdoch took the fall badly, but after some movment on his part Scott rolled him onto his stomach and applied the Crowbar gianing a tap out and his second sucessive victory on Raw.

However that was not to be the end of it, as Chris Masters chose this time to gain a measure of revenge after being embarassed by Scott last week. Sliding into the ring with a chair, he waited for the rookie to turn around before plastering him in the head! Not satisfied with the damage done, Masters quickly him over and finally locked in the Masterlock, dragging the unconcious and beedling Scott to his feet for the entire crowd to see.

Gunner Scott def. Trevor Murdoch by submission - 52/80/66 - Trevor Murdoch lost overness. Gunner Scott gained overness.

6 - Snitsky and Viscera© Vs The Shane Twins (World Tag Team Title Match)

In Another rematch from Heat, Snitsky and Viscera became the first to defend their belts post draft. Also like the previous rematch, this first encounter was not as well recieved by the masses. While all four men weren't known for their impressive workrate, they did use what they had and pull out a fiarly enjoyable match (compared to their previous one at least). In an attempt to keep the fans happy amidst a sea of punches, kicks, and body slams, the ref took a tumble and for several minutes weapons came into play. Each guy got a fair chance to do some damage with a weapon, but it came down Mike Shane being dumped on the outside leaving Todd all on his lonesome. With a chair held against his face by Viscera, Snitsky hit a huge running boot to score the pin fall and remove the evidence just as the referee came to.

Thanks to it being such a surprisingly short match, fans were at least expecting something to go on afterwards, and they got their wish not too long after the bell was rung. The losing team from last week in MNM hit the ring with a vengeance, arming themselves with chairs used moments ago in the match. Viscera was the first to take a shot to the head, while Snitsky took one to his left thigh. With the love machine down and out, MNM set a chair into position and drove Snitsky into it with an impressive Snapshot! While calling the shots from the outside, Melina retrieved a mic from Lillian and climbed into the ring.

Melina: I hope you two freaks enjoyed that little victory last week, because come Vengeance my boys are gonna make an example out of you just like tonight! When you're as high on the social ladder as we are, there's nothing more important than image. Losing to you caused our stock to drop considerably. But when we win the tag team titles we'll be back on top where we belong!

Joey and Johnny give the tag champs a few more kicks just for good measure before leaving to another commercial break.

Snitsky and Viscera def. The Shane Twins by pin fall to retain the World Teag Team Titles - 60/65/62

7 - Tell Me You Didn't Just Say That

Once again we're backstage as we return from the break, only this time it's in the locker rooms where Big Show is quietly sitting taping up his wrists. The silence is broken as both Booker T and his wife Sharmell enter, still steaming over failing to win the Intercontinental title last week.

Booker: Can you believe it? That sucka Bischoff refused to give my another shot at da' IC Title!

Sharmell: Don't worry baby, you'll get another shot soon.

Booker: But I deserve one now dammit!

A slight chuckle from behind him draws attention back to The Big Show.

Booker: ...and what are you laughing at sucka?

Big Show: What am I laughing at? Not a lot, other than realising what a whiny bitch you've become.

Booker: Tell me he didn't just sat THAT?!

Show stands up, causing Booker and Sharmell to look up.

Big Show: I said, it's amazing how much of a bitch you've become recently. Where's the Booker T from WCW? Where's the five time, five time, five time, five time, five time WCW Champion who didn't take s[bleep]t from no-one?

Booker: He's standin' right here sucka!

Big Show: You must be living in a fantasy world Book, because that's not the guy everyone's seeing right now.

Booker: You wanna try and find out if that's true?

Big Show: Any time, any place Book...

Booker: Fine by me, Bischoff won't give me another IC title match? I'm sure he'll go for givin' me a giant...now can you dig that...

Booker walks off, leaving Sharmell to finish up.

Sharmell: ...SUCKA!

87%

8 - The Deadman's Not Quite Dead Yet

Before the Booker/Big Show match, the Titantron lights up showing the events of an edition of Smackdown back in April. The closing moments of the Undertaker/Mark Henry match are shown, as The Great Khali makes his first appearance. As Taker is beaten down by Khali, the screen begins to flicker. Slowly the flickering becomes more noticable until it degrades into static. Then in the blink of an eye the static fades to black, taking the arena lights with it. A faint ritualistic chanting can be heard through the PA system accompanied by a slow heartbeat. The screen fades back on with a silhouette of The Undertaker standing back to the camera comes into view. After a few seconds a deep voice echoes in...

Taker finally turns around causing four "lightning bolts" to strike the ring posts sending them up in flames. As the fire subsides, the sreen returns to normal and the lights come back on as if nothing had happened.

83%

9 - Booker T Vs The Big Show

With the crowd still hot from the Undertaker segment moments ago, this match definitely benefited from it. Knowing each other very well from their time together in WCW, Booker and Show were able to pull off an above average match and really keep the crowd interested leading into the main event. Stemming from their confrontation earlier, the whole match centered around Booker trying to prove that he still had some fire left inside him, and to his credit he really showed that to be true. For a lot of the opening stages of the match it was all Booker using his aerial advantage to try and take the seven footer down, which he did do with a missile dropkick catching him high in the shoulder. Instead of attempting to taunt Show with a Spinaroonie, he remained focused looking for a Scissors Kick. Show slowly rose as Booker leapt up, but moved backwards and latches his hand firmly around the former WCW champion's throat! Before he could execute the Showstopper, Booker hit an undetected low blow and called for Sharmell to get a chair. As she carried out her task, Booker was barely able to lift Show up into a Book End and that showed as it was kicked out of with ease. Seeing Sharmell with a chair, Booker got to his feet and feigned a leg injury grabbing the ref's attention. That gave Sharmell her cue to climb into the ring and blast the rising giant in the right thigh with the chair! Crumpling him back down to one knee, Sharmell escaped with the evidence as Booker miraculously healed long enough to catch him with a quick Scissors Kick driving his head into the canvas. Rolling the big man onto his back, Booker arrogantly covered him for the three count, and quickly retreated onto the aisle with Sharmell. Big Show finally came to, shaking with anger as he watched a victorious Booker T on the stage.

Booker T def. The Big Show by pin fall - 84/72/80

10 - Awwww...Isn't That Sweet?

With only the main event to go, Rey Mysterio is pacing back and forth waiting for his time to head off to the ring. He stops mid stride as former WWE champion John Cena appears in front of him. The two share a handshake, as Cena gets right down to business.

Cena: You and I both know what JBL's like, so I jus' wanted to tell you that if anything happens out there I've got your back man.

Rey: Thanks John, I appreciate it.

Cena: You think Hunter's still in the arena?

Rey: I wouldn't put it past him, but I've got to concentrate on Bradshaw now, and leave Triple H until Vengeance...

Cena: I can dig that man, but just remember even if Hunter is here tonight I'll make sure he can't do nuthin' to ya'.

Rey: Thanks man, looks like it's time so I'll catch you after I show JBL why he shouldn't pick on the little guy.

Cena: 'aight, see ya soon.

The two shake again as Rey finishes tying his mask on before heading to the ring for his main event match.

84%

11 - Rey Mysterio Vs John Bradshaw Layfield

This match followed the classic brawler versus high flyer formula to a tee, as Bradshaw spent several minutes just trying to keep an eye on Rey who used his speed to go over, around and even under him. Picking his spots very carefully, Rey knew he didn't have the strength of his opponent but enough shots into one area would eventually begin to work. Naturally as he was taking on a man significantly bigger than himself, the legs were the obvious choice of target. Luckily for Rey, JBL had a past injury playing college football which also worked to his advantage. One solid dropkick to the right knee toppled the transplanted Texan square on his stomach. That gave Mysterio the only opening he needed, as he quickly switched his focus to JBL's head trying to worsen the damage done by Triple H last week. Every time Bradshaw tried to get vertical, Mysterio planted him with a series of kicks to the face and neck. With the amount of time taking to right himself increasing, JBL was left even more prone to Rey's offense. That became all to evident as Mysterio was able to land a springboard legdrop, only a whisker away from getting the three count. Knowking he didn't habe the strength to drag Bradshaw into position for a 619, Rey continued to use the ropes for extra leverage on his attacks. The crowd solidly supported Mysterio throughout the match, urging him to go for a West Coast Pop. Instead of playing it safe and keeping the advantage he had, Rey chose to give the fans what they wanted and went to the outside. JBL saw him waiting as he staggered to his feet, and was barely up right as Mysterio took flight. The fans cheered madly, but went deathly silent in an instant as Layfield launched a desperation Clothesline from Hell catching him in mid air, and flipping him violently down to the canvas! Rey's body lay motionless on the canvas as Bradshaw crawled over and made the cover much to the disgust of the crowd in attendance.

With the match in the bag, and a possible injury to Mysterio, JBL wasn't done by a long shot. Rolling to the outside, he sent Lillian flying and comandeered her chair. Rey was still not moving as Bradshaw returned and took aim squarely on his head. As he raised the steel up high, the crowd erupted into a cheer as John Cena's music hit and he came charging out from the back like a bull. JBL was waiting with the chair, and hit a fresh air swing as Cena ducked and began to hammer him with right hand after right hand. Staggering back into the ropes, JBL rebounded into Cena's waiting arms as he hoisted him up for an FU! However Layfield wriggled out and escaped under the ropes, limping up the ramp like a scolded dog. The fans cheered as Cena's music hit again, and he helped Mysterio to his feet. The two posed in the ring as JBL escaped to the back leaving the show to go off the air.

JBL def. Rey Mysterio by pin fall - 85/67/79

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Overall Rating - 78%, 5.88 TV rating, 6510 people attended for $260,400.

A much better show than last week ratings wise, as none of the segments dropped below 80% (lowest being 83%). Naturally it was always going to be dragged down by some of the matches thanks to a lot of the poorer workers being on the Raw brand. Vengeance is still a few weeks away, but already there are a few matches beginning to take shape...but I assure you even though a few of them have been done to death (or aren't very interesting) are simply one time deals as storylines pick up in pace after what was always going to be a pretty slow month.

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Pong?

That's exactally what I said.

Smackdown Troubles Continue

For a long time before this year's draft, Smackdown was plagued with bad luck. Whether it was injuries to top superstars, egos clashing, or even the tragic passing of Eddie Guererro Smackdown has had quite a time recently. Just before the draft took place, things seemed to have calmed down somewhat, but over the past week there have been a few incidents making it clear that the troubles are far from over.

Only three days after winning the vacant United States title, Rob Conway suffered a broken nose after losing his grip on a barbell. This has said to be quite lucky considering, as it will only take about a month to heal. Thankfully Smackdown's next pay per view (The Great American Bash) is not until July 16th and therefore won't lose a US title match.

Also missing from action for a month is Super Crazy, one half of the Mexicools. While he is not injured, he is serving a one month suspension after a backstage fight with an unknown second party. Details are sketchy at the moment, but the fight was said to have been over a misheard comment and was cleared up straight afterwards. The reason he is serving the suspension is of his own suggestion, possibly to take care of a few personal issues before coming back fresh.

While I've been quietly reading the shows you've posted so far without replying, I'm kicking myself for not doing so earlier. I KNEW that it was going to be Muta coming in after the Hogan segment on the first Nitro Like TGC mentioned, I don't see Muta being the over all winner against Hogan, but I'm hoping you prove us wrong. I still think eventually, The Dungeon willl take Hogan out, as it's not really productive to keep such a bad influence like Hulk around for longer than absolutely needed.

That referee doesn't deserve a medal

Champions - not for the cup name but for a methaphore of the world. Mawaha, etc

...that was a pretty cruel way to lose.

Not the best start for West Ham...

...I take that back

That's probably the only thing they could do that we wouldn't expect, as this game so far has had pretty much anything it could.

One minute left to go before penalties, I wonder just how many people are healthy enough to take one.

That was pretty fucking close...

I really wanted West Ham to win this, but I have to say that was a fucking amazing goal from Gerrard.

Bands should get around this problem by doing a Linkin Park and releasing every fucking song on the CD.

I would've loved it if "The Noose" by A Perfect Circle had been a single. It's one of my favorites off Thirteenth Step, and much better than "Weak and Powerless", IMO. Oh well, I was happy that "Blue" was a single, for the short enough time before EMOtive was released.

1 - Paul Birchall def. Simon Dean by pin fall. - 61/75/68

2 - Vito and Nunzio jumped Brian Kendrick and Paul London backstage, making it clear they were gunning for the tag titles. - 59%

3 - The Spirit Squad def. Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki by pin fall. - 49/77/63 - Mikey gained overness. Johnny gained overness.

4 - Jamie Noble def. Psychosis by submission in a match featuring Gregory Helms and Kid Kash to win the WWE Cruiserweight Title. - 67/82/74

5 - A hype video played showing the events that took place on Smackdown this past Friday. - 63%

6 - Rob Conway def. Val Venis by cheating to retain the WWE United States Title (Defense 1). After the match Conway continued to assault Venis, only to be ran off by Steven Richards. - 63/83/73

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Overall Rating - 67%, 1.17 TV rating, 6015 people attended for $240,600.

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Ugh...I liked the original Sims quite a lot, but since Sims 2 came out it's just hasn't been the same for me.

...and the less said about The Urbz the better

Iron Maiden - Edward The Great

http://www.valenzettifoundation.org/

http://www.widmore.com/

http://globalparadigmscorp.com/

those three are somehow connected as well, as they all inter link with Hanso...what the hell any of it means is beyond me, I'd rather leave it to those who will go through with a fine toothed comb to come up with the answers

Have you chcked out Alvar Hanso's page on the executive bio's bit? If you click the date near the bottom you get a little bit about the fact that he has a grainy picture while the other execs have close up mug shots.

Something else on the www.Hansorg.com site...in the very large gap between the last letter and the Dharma logo at the bottom, there is a smal bit of text in a dark colour...

A NATION'S BIRTH PREDICTS IT'S OWN DEMISE

AND RE-BIRTH.

2 10 13 18 21 44

...the numbers (just like 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42) add up to 108.

...another site to check out...

www.Hansorg.com

*edit*

scroll all the way to the bootom and click the numbers, it'll take you to http://www.bornamerican.com/index.php

...also, when you first talk to Persephone use the same username again, and you get an update.

http://themisfitishere.blogspot.com/

...this guy is pretty obsessive...

*edit*

If you click the link to active projects on the left, then the "worldwide wellness" link, then the world map link near the top, look near where the Bermuda Triangle is located and you can click a hidden dot. Gibberish is in the text box, and I can't make any of it out...

On the homepage there's an option to read a press release about someone hacking the site. If you click that it downloads a .pdf file. If you highlight all the text, it shows there's a hidden line at the bottom. If you copy that to something like notepad, you get this site...

http://persephone.thehansofoundation.org

I remember messing around with a few of these sites back when series one was running...abc.com's Lost message boards are great for finding out the little things hidden on them. I didn't know whether or not there was an actual reason behind them or if it was just to add that extra something to the show.

...what's the password that Persephone asks for?

*edit*

Hahaha...I typed in "I don't know" and she told me to ask the call center...then the fucking screen flashed and I shit myself

Friday Night Smackdown 09/06/06

1 - Not The Start Theodore Long Was Expecting...

We open tonight with Tazz and Josh Matthews (taking over from the recently fired Cole) hyping the big news announced on WWE.com regarding the World Heavyweight Title Tournament. Expecting Theodore Long to make an appearance and run down the brackets, his music hits...but he doesn't show. Tazz is already starting to question this turn of events, as his music hits yet again but still without the Smackdown GM making his entrance. Finally a little light is shed on the situation as the Titantron springs to life with a cameraman running through the backstage area. Breaking through into the parking lot, a crowd is forming around what appears to be a car. As the superstars part, Long's motionless body comes into shot. Lying bloodied in the shattered windscreen of the car, spattered murmering from the crowd fills the parking lot as an ambulance's siren hails in the background. They continue to film at the EMT's bring out a stretcher and carefully lift Long off the car and load him onto a backboard. As the ambulance exits out into the street, the Smackdown stars begin to pile back into the arena all sharing a look of confusion. Both Josh and Tazz continue to question who or what could have done such a thing, the show takes it's first commercial break of the night.

82%

2 - Best Man For The Job

As we return from the break, the arena is still buzzing over seeing the Theodore Long's bloodied body lying in a destroyed car windscreen. After a moment or two we cut backstage to Long's office, where Kurt Angle is pacing back and forth with several sheets of paper in his hand. As the camera pans backwards, we see he is not alone. Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, Edge, Matt Hady, Ric Flair, Rob Van Dam, and Kane are also present.

Kurt: No doubt you're all wondering why I called you all in here.

The collective murmer confirms his obvious question.

Kurt: After seeing what happened to Theodore Long, I decided to act quickly. So I called Shane McMahon and told him what happened. I suggested, being the most experience at the job that tonight I would be acting Smackdown General Manager. However this is only for tonight, as someone will be taking over as of next week. But as far as tonight is concerned, I'm the one calling the shots.

This causes more than a few displeasured stares from the gathering of starts.

Kurt: Looking through the notes lying on the desk, it looks as though Teddy was going to announce the brackets for the title tournament. As far as I'm concerned that can wait until next week, but tonight we will see the first match take place. Ric...

This gets Flair's attention.

Kurt: Looks like your shot at title reign number seventeen starts tonight.

Flair: Woooo...

Kurt: Uhhh...your opponent is...Kane

Flair: ...oooo...ahhh, crap!

Kane smiles from across the room as he leaves, seeing no need to remain in Long's office any longer. The remaining men console Flair as he too leaves the office. Once he's gone, they all breath a sight of relief that they managed to avoid being paired up with the big red machine.

81%

3 - Chavo Guererro Vs Umaga

Chavo draws a short straw himself tonight, as he opens tonight's in ring action against Umaga. The fans are still chanting Eddie's name whenever either Chavo or Rey are in action, but thankfully it seems to be becoming less noticable as the months pass. Most of the smark fans know this is going to be a squash, but Chavo does well to at least dispel that idea for several minutes. Using his speed advantage he ducks and dives 2006's version of Kamala, picking his spots and working solely on the legs. After getting a good solid three minutes of offense in on Umaga, Chavo signals for a Frog Splash which only prompts the Eddie chants to start again. Ascending the ropes he continues his trend of butchering the move by performing it badly, as Umaga rolls out of the way. From there it finally becomes squash city as Guererro is wailed on mercilessly, taking not the running ass in the corner, but several headbutts as well. Finally at the seven minute mark, under orders of Armando Alejandro Estrada, Umaga drives his taped thumb into Chavo's throat and effortlessly gets the three count to a round of general indifference from the crowd.

Umaga def. Chavo Guererro by pin fall - 68/74/71 - Umaga gained overness. Chavo Guererro lost overness

4 - Is This...A Push?

As Chavo is helped out of the ring, we go backstage to see one of the internet favourites in Stevie Richards. While many will be wondering what he did to finally get TV time on Smackdown, he himself doesn't have a chance to ponder that himself. From behind, Rob Conway comes into focus and plasters him with a huge clothesline! We're then treated to a short beatdown from Conway, who once he's done significant damage leaves Stevie to consider if being buried into obscurity isn't such a bad idea after all.

66%

5 - Stevie Richards Vs Rob Conway (United States Title Match)

The previous segment finally makes sense as Stevie hobbles to the ring still feeling the effects of Conway's attack. What these two are doing in a US title match is anyone's guess, but for those at home Josh and Tazz explain it's due to Theodore Long's decision to feshen up the title pictures thanks to the draft. Richards looks in no shape to wrestle as Conway makes a quick entrance and picks up where he left off, pounding the crap out of him. Two matches in a row look to be going the way of the squash, until Richards sends Conway to the outside and gets a chance to compose himself. Upon his return to the ring, Rob finds himself on the recieving end of several right hands and the match quickly swings in the favour of Richards. With no real target in mind, Stevie just continues to execute moves in order to keep his momentum going. Fans will no doubt be amazed as Richards is given a chance to prove he can actually wrestle and is more than just a human punching bag. After a huge superplex, Stevie signals for the Stevie-T and drags Conway to his feet. Locking his arms into the butterfly position, he attempts to lift him but Rob rolls out and into school boy making sure to grab a handful of tights to steal the victory and his first ever singles title in the WWE!

Rob Conway def. Steven Richards by pin fall to win the WWE US Title - 67/82/74

6 - London and Kendrick Vs The Spirit Squad (WWE Tag Title Match)

The former WWE tag team champions get another crack at regaining the gold, as they take on the surprise hit collectively known as The Spirit Squad. Going through their usual routine before the match, it boils down to Kenny and Mikey teaming up to try and win their second set of tag titles. Looking at this match on paper, you'd expect a high risk filled match...and that's exactly what was delivered. From the start, Kendrick and London brought the high risk offense while Kenny and Mikey brought the crazy bumping to match. But eventually the five on two odds proved too much and The Spirit Squad took over. Thanks to an "accidental" ref bump all five members managed to get into the ring. They wasted no time hitting a sick High Spirits on Kendrick getting huge hangtime and an equally huge reaction from the crowd. However London wasn't going to let that be the end of it, and pushed Kenny off the top rope and onto his teammates before he could hit his leg drop. With four of the five huddled on the floor below, London scaled the ropes himself and hit a perfect Shooting Star Press into the cluster! Still in the ring, Mikey looked at his team lying in a heap on the floor, which gave Kendrick enough time to get back to his feet and catch him in a quick Sliced Bread #2 to overcome the odds and win his second WWE tag team title!

London and Kendrick def. The Spirit Squad by pin fall to win the WWE Tag Team Titles - 53/82/67

7 - All The Spirit In The World Won't Help Them Now.

As London and Kendrick leave with their tag titles, The Spirit Squad are left to gather themselves at ringside. However the attention is soon drawn to the entrance as music hits, and Daivari walks out followed by the freak of nature known as The Great Khali. The squad seemingly freeze with fear as the seven foot three inch monster stalks down to the ring and effortlessly steps over the top rope. Daivari collects a microphone and addresses the five guys at ringside.

Daivari: Look at you! Cowering in fear like scolded dogs! AND SO YOU SHOULD BE! This man...this giant DESTROYED THE UNDERTAKER! He took the phenom and showed the world he was nothing more than a man hiding behind theatrics! Khali is the true phenom in the WWE, and tonight you five will be made an example of! Whether you like it or not it's going to be five on one, The Spirit Squad taking on The Great Khali! Get you asses in this ring so Khali can destroy you!

Khali does his best menacing mannerisms as the Spirit Squad huddle on the outside seemingly coming up with a game plan. However as they break, Mitchell asks for a microphone of his own.

Mitchell : Are you freakin' retarded? There's no way in HELL we're getting into the ring with that big son of a bitch! We're far too important to the WWE, to be crippled by some side show attraction. Do you understand that our mere presence and dedication to cheering raises the morale of anyone watching? Of course you don't because you two lack spirit! But...we have a proposition for you. We were fully expecting to become tag team champions again, and went ahead and hired some backup to keep us safe. You know how it is, you sport the gold and everyone wants a shot at you! Seeing as we're paying them to protect the WWE's investment in us, this is a perfect opportunity to see if our money is being put to good use. You want Spirit Squad members for Khali to destroy? Ok, you've got it! May we introduce you to "Da" Spirit Squad....Danny and Stevey!

73%

8 - The Great Khali Vs "Da" Spirit Squad

Out through the curtain come Danny and Stevey (Dan Maff and Steve "Monsta" Mack) wearing a more "gangster" version of the Spirit Squad uniform. Khali doesn't look very phased by the fact that he has to take on two more physically imposing opponents. The newest additions of the squad hit the ring and immediately lunge at Khali. Straight away they get more offense in on him than anyone in the WWE previously...and for good reason. The match fails to stray away from both "terrible" and "train wreck" as Khali fails to properly sell anything that either Danny or Stevey do. Stretching that out to five minutes and throwing in some lacklustre offense from the giant (which his opponents do sell ten fold) makes this a match leaving people wanting six minutes of their life back. The blame is solely placed on Khali's shoulders as both Danny and Stevey head to the outside and retrieve a pair of chairs, signalling the only bright spot in the match. Doing very little to stop them, Khali is wasted by stereo chair shots as The Spirit Squad cheer the carnage on the outside. With the bell rung, the seven squad members converge on the aisle as Khali gets up a few moments later doing hs best to look pissed off.

The Great Khali def. "Da" Spirit Squad by disqualification - 45/67/56 Stevey lost overness. Stevey is suffering from a weak gimmick.

9 - This Is How You Look Evil

Cutting backstage once more, we're treated to Kane warming up in a darkened part of the arena with a deranged smile on his face. Needless to say he makes Khali's previous attempts to look like an evil monster pale in comparison. Adjusting the glove on his hand, he begins his walk towards the ring ahead of his match with Ric Flair.

85%

10 - Walking That Aisle One More Time

Remaining backstage, we get Ric Flair standing in front of the Smackdown backdrop with one of the nameless interviewers hired after WWE cleared out the pointless divas that were put in these roles. Flair is decked in his blue robe, and looking a lot more confident than he did at the beginning of the show.

Interviewer: Ric, tonight you go one on one with Kane in the first round of the World Title Tournament. What are you feeling, knowing you have the hardest path to the final?

Flair: How do I feel? How do I feel? I feel great! Wooooooo!

This prompts a "Wooooooo!" from the crowd as well.

Flair: For too long have I felt like an ordinary man. But I'm no ordinary man...I'm Ric Flair! Wooooooo! The lear jet flyin', limo ridin', champagne drinkin', caviar eatin', show stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun!! Sixteen times the heavyweight champion of the world. Tonight I get a chance to extend a legacy spanning over two decades. Kane...the big...red...machine. One of the most dominating superstars ever to set foot in a wrestling ring. Believe me brother, I know what you can acomplish in that ring. I've seen the devestation you can cause. But you're NOT the Naitcha' Boy! YOU should be the one telling people how you feel knowing you have to walk, that, aisle with a legend like Ric Flair. I may not be as young as I used to be, but I'm still the dirtiest player this game has ever seen! And tonight I'm gonna prove this old dog still has one more day left in him! Wooooooo!

The crowd gives another Wooooooo! of their own as Flair walks off towards the curtain giving himself a last second pep talk in the process.

87%

11 - Ric Flair Vs Kane (World Title Tournament First Round Match)

“Also Spracht Zarathustra” hits the PA system as Ric Flair proves that despite being fifty seven years old, he's still hugely popular with the fans. Looking very envigorated, he struts his stuff down the aisle as he has done for the past twenty five years. As he disrobes in the ring, the entrance explodes and Kane pushes through the curtain still sporting that deranged smile on his face. Flair concentrates on last minute warming up before rolling out of the ring just as Kane enters. Stepping into the middle of the ring, he raises both arms and brings them down violently to set all four corners bursting into flames. As the lights return to normal, Kane simply motions for Flair to get in the ring. The wily veteran takes his time, making sure to prevent a sneak attack. However even taking precautions doesn't stop Kane jumping the gun, but it does give Flair enough time to see it coming and move out of the way. The fans cheer him on as Kane crashes into the corner and is met with a flurry of slaps and chops from Naitch. For well over a minute Flair keeps Kane in the corner chopping the shit out of his chest, and each one getting a huge Wooooooo! from the crowd. As his chest starts to go a deep purple, Kane springs into action and hurls Flair into the corner he was occupying moments ago. Instead of chopping, Kane chooses to use closed fists to pummel Ric's face until he steps back allowing him to stagger forward a few steps before flopping to the canvas. Kane takes a moment to readjust his glove as Flair pops back to his feet swinging at the air, only to meet a huge boot to the face. By now the fans are starting to resign themselves to the inevitable as Kane signals for a Chokeslam. His huge hand wraps itself around Ric's throat, but Flair jams a thumb into Kane's left eye! Blinded temporarily, Kane turns around giving Flair the perfect chance to hit a chop block cutting the seven footer down to size! Letting out a huge Wooooooo! Flair grabs one of Kanes legs and begins to strut his stuff before slapping on a Figure Four Leg Lock! Kane screams in agony as Ric shakes his head and applies as much pressure as he can. The fans are now begging Kane to tap out, but he refuses and slowly begins to reverse the hold forcing Flair to release it. Now with a big advantage, Flair oddly chooses to use his worst enemy...the top rope. Climbing up, he waits for Kane to get to his feet and leaps off with a double axe handle...but Kane catches him! Wasting no time at all he lifts Flair up and drills him into the middle of the ring with a thunderous Chokeslam and drops to his knees to end Ric's chance of getting reign number seventeen.

Kane def. Ric Flair by pin fall to advance in the tournament - 78/66/74

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Overall Rating - 74%, 5.84 TV rating, 6015 people attended for $240,600.

Compared to Raw, this was a pretty lacklustre show all around. While I didn't think it was written badly, it definitely has that "B" Show feel to it. I did enjoy debuting Da Hit Squad as The Spirit Squad's hired muscle, and I just hope it's well recieved. The Flair promo...well I wasn't really sure about that as it's the first time I've ever attempted to write something for him so I don't know if it's accurate or not. As for the opening segment...it was partly storyline, partly to get rid of Teddy as I don't like writing for him one bit.

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Indy Car Racing is a pretty good game if you're an indy car guy.

Dirt to Daytona is another good one, it's a NASCAR sim in the vein of the Papyrus games. That means that it has realistic damage and everything.

If you're a simpleton, I recommend NASCAR 2006: Total Team Control. It's good, if you want to play and not think.

What's there to think about?

Holy shit, a corner! WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DOOOOO!?