Without A Doubt: The WORST Diary EVER

[Troy Maskell]

New Boards? Nice.....can't say I'm a fan of the blue skin but I can change that myself.

Well it's a good thing I did decide to save the precious diary pages for the infamous diary. In case new members do sign and for prosperity I will repost the first 9 chapters of the WORST DIARY EVER!

But first the prologue.

Ahhh Kriss Sprules or as we all know him Kandiman. How many jokes and cheap shots have been made at his expense? Too many to count. This is not one of them.

A lot of people laughed at him, mocked him and then the Mods ultimately banned him for being caught in another double standard. This is not about them.

His grand idea for a ficticious new fed that apparantly had stolen the contracts of several WWE Wrestlers made the entire Battleground roll their eyes as one. This is not about that

No my friends. This is FAR Worse.

My name is Troy Maskell and ever since the first Battleground board I've been around, always flying low under the radar, never stirring too much controversy towards myself. That is, until now.

For in this diary I will do the unthinkable, the disgusting and the downright reprehensable act ever seen since Katie Vick.

I will attempt to push the man everyone hates, the man who said he'd punch Vince out if he ever met him. Kandiman, to the top of wrestling as we know it. The WWE Title soon will be in the greasy hands of the 'fro and wrestling as we know it will never be the same again.

ON WITH THE STORY

Kriss Sprules, a man with an unbelievable ego but zero wrestling talent, is what many people would call a Daydreamer. The man lives, breathes, eats and sleeps wrestling. He even tried to open his own fed one day. Of course that plan lasted about 30 seconds but that did not faze the young man. That is until the day he logged onto his favorite message board. The Battleground where he had been for so long and he saw this

You'll have to wait to find out what is wrong with TAFKA Afro Man. Kandi, you got caught. Deal with it.

Banned. Banned from his link to the outside world, as the anger raged through his body he made a solemn vow. That no matter what it took, no matter how much blood had to spilt he would make in wrestling, just to stick it up all who doubted him.

That was about four months ago and in that time a lot of things had changed. The WWE had grown and started searching for new talent. And Kriss was one of them, why? Only Vince McMahon knows for sure. But hired he was despite the fact he still knew basically jack about wrestling. Despite the fact that the WWE has over 100 people on roster. And despite the fact about 13,000 Battleground members are going to e-bomb WWE.com when this announcement is made. Kriss was a WWE Wrestler.

This is his story. Soon the WWE will fall to the 'fro.

The Stats you need to know. (I changed them to what I thought would work for this story)

Brawl: 25

Speed: You are kidding right? He can't run two steps without blowing up. 0

Tech: 10

Over: 0

Charisma: 10 (If he couldn't sell things to the Battleground what chance does he have?)

Attitude: Again the ego comes in 0

Behaviour: Well he's already down isn't he? 0

Hear the call of the 'fro and tremble.

Coming Up: The first meeting with Vince and discussion of character. Plus Kriss shoots his first Vignette

(Please no hard objects when you throw things at me)

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter One: Starting Out

Titan Towers. Despite all his bluff and bluster on the Battleground. Kriss was more than thrilled to be here. Here without being asked to leave by Security. As the clock soon hit 2PM the time of his meeting with the one and only Vince McMahon. Today he would find out just what they had planned for him to begin with. Being called into the office Kriss entered to see Vince, a writer and a woman who was completely unknown to him.

Vince: So you're Kriss Sprules? Pleasure to meet you.

Kriss:

Vince:.....Ok well first off welcome to the WWE family, I'm sure you're going to fit in just fine. Now the reason we called you in is to make sure you're up to speed with what we're going to do with you. First I'll introduce you to the others here. This is our head writer Brian Gerwitz.

Brian: I've got plenty of ideas for you Kriss

Vince: And this is Tenille Gray. She'll be working with you, your first few months.

Tenille: Hi Kriss. I've heard a lot about you

Vince: Now what we've come up with at least early on is this. Let's face it Kriss. Your name isn't going to get you over. But your...comments in your file made me think. Kandiman works. Kandiman is good. I think Kandiman is something to get behind. What do you think?

Kriss:

Vince:.....All right....glad you approve. Brian could you let Kriss know how Tenille comes into all this?

Brian: Well basically Kriss we think that if you have a girl like Tenille in your corner we can really get the crowd on your side. Tenille has got tremendous charisma, something you need to work on. So basically she's your mouthpiece. Work with her cause she'll be your voice here in the WWE. You're ok with that right?

Kriss:

Vince: Great then that's settled, now we've got a couple of weeks before your first show on Velocity so we need to get a vignette on the air fast. You think you can manage something in that time?

Kriss:

Vince:.......Ok....well our production team is the best so they're sure to make you and Tenille look good. This deal is genuine Kriss so make the most of it. Or next time we meet I may not be so nice Got that?

Kriss:

Vince: (leans and whispers to Gerwitz) This is going to take a lot of work

A FEW DAYS LATER

So Kriss now knew that he would be Kandiman in the WWE. A name that brought up bad memories for him but he was determined to get some revenge on those who shunned him. But before the long road began there was a vignette to shoot.

Kriss: So I've basically got free reign to say what I want here right.

Production Guy: Well Yeah.....but try not to speak too much. Tenille's your mouthpiece remember?

Kriss: I got it

THREE HOURS LATER

Production Guy: Kandiman introductory promo take one hundred and twelve.

Kriss: I once had dreams like you. I once believed in something. But you all shunned me. WHY? WHY DID YOU SEND ME AWAY VR? WHY DID YOU SHATTER MY DREAMS? Yes I once had a dream but now all that's left in my heart is hatred. Hatred for the ones I let scar me. Hatred for the mods who banned me. But I shall have my revenge. YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN BUT NOW THE WWE IS THE REALM OF KANDIMAN!

Tenille: (walking to stand next to Kriss) And this Kandiman doesn't spread the world with love. He spreads pain. The WWE Superstars don't stand a chance. Be ready because this Kandiman can destroy....and he will

The scene fades out with the words "KANDIMAN IS COMING TO VELOCITY APRIL 3"

So Kriss had a vignette. The first sign he'd made it and in a few weeks he would show the Battleground he wasn't a liar. He would wrestle in the WWE and he would prevail. The WWE will never be the same with the 'fro in the ring.

Coming Up: Reactions to the Vignette and Kriss's first match

[Kaney]

Well it's a good thing I did decide to save the precious diary pages for the infamous diary.

←

Thank God you saved this! Ah, time to recap over the greatest (or worst) diary since Batsman!

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter 2: Kandi takes his first steps in the ring

This was the moment Kriss had dreamed of for four months. Tonight he would finally show the people who turned on him he was not only a wrestler but a WWE Wrestler. Walking with his bag filled with gear slung over his shoulder he walked into the WWE Locker Room for the first time. Tenille was there to meet him as she too felt the nerves before their big moment on stage.

Tenille: Hey Kriss. Tonight's the night huh? Who ever thought we'd get this opportunity? To perform in a WWE Ring....wow

Kriss: Yeah. Tonight everyone's gonna see the truth. They shunned me. But LOOK AT ME NOW! I'M IN THE WWE! YOU SAID IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN FITZY! YOU LAUGHED AT ME DARON! WELL I'M HERE AND YOU'RE NOT!

Tenille:....ok I'm gonna go now.

But just as Tenille was about to go one of the WWE Superstars come to say hello

WWE Superstar: So you're the new pair Vince is raving about huh? Pleased to meet. John's the name. Kicking ass is the game.

Tenille: Hello Bradshaw. Thanks a lot. It means a lot to know we're welcome here

Kriss:

John: Hey don't mention it. You've caused quite a storm here. Just take a look. *he points to a group playing cards at a table* Loser gets to job to you guys tonight. *just then a curse comes out from the table followed by a lot of laughing* And it looks like we have a winner. *smiles as the guy as he walks over* Hey Ryan....tough luck pal.

Ryan: Yeah next time I'll beat you guys. So what can you guys do out there?

Kriss:

Tenille: Uhhh we can do anything you want. Why don't you run the match by us

John: Might be the best idea....why don't you guys try this.....

LATER THAT NIGHT

Vince wanted the pair to introduce themselves formally to the Velocity crowd so Kriss and Tenille were given interview time right off the bat.

Tenille: Finally the wrestling world is ready to recieve it's maker. This man. My Kandiman will be the death of all the WWE superstars. My Kandiman will show you all perfection. My Kandiman will be your new hero

Kandi: Look at us. Tenille and Kandiman together as one. TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK CADE! YOU SAID YOU WERE THE STAR OF CHANCE MEETING BUT NOW WHO'S LAUGHING? Tonight you will see the beginning of my path to revenge.

Tenille: And it all starts with Sakoda. He will be the first victim in a list of many. My Kandiman will prove to the world he belongs here in the WWE and soon all the WWE Superstars...will bow to the 'fro

KANDIMAN V SAKODA

Sakoda was given the task of running the match as Kandi was no help at all. Sakoda attacked as Kandi escorted Tenille out of the ring, hitting him with a german suplex and taking control with martial arts for two before Kandi ducked a spin kick to take control with his brawling style......Well style isnt the word for it as he blew up after about three punches. Sakoda then took his life into his hads by allowing Kandi to spinebuster him. That went about as well as expected and Sakoda got up after a two count for Kandi angry, hitting back with everything in his tank but it would come short as Kandi reversed a belly to belly suplex before hitting a DDT he called IWA:Worldwide for the three count to end his first match.

-**

Kandi walked backstage with Tenille with his head held high. Now the Battleground would respect him, he was finally a wrestler. How they'd all be kissing his ass now. He could see it now "WOW WE WERE SO WRONG ABOUT KANDI. KANDI > US" Too bad he wouldn't be able to see it with his account.

Coming Up: The Battleground Reacts and Brian meets with Kriss with the verdict of his debut

[Troy Maskell]

   

Thank God you saved this!  Ah, time to recap over the greatest (or worst) diary since Batsman!

←

I thought it best for precaution sakes if I did save the pages.

And yes Kaneanite my biggest fan.....it'd figure he'd be the first to show here. (DAMNIT WHERE'S MY SHIFTY? )

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter 3: Kandi gets a tag team partner

Kriss was a happy guy as he travelled on the plane for a house show in Montreal. Finally he'd shown the Battleground he was a wrestler, in the WWE the number one game in town no less. Now he'd finally start getting some respect from them. How would Daron and Cade feel to know that he had made it to the WWE before them? He'd just love to see their reactions. He was about to doze off when Brian Gerwitz came back from first class to talk to him

Brian: Hey Kriss. Great job tonight, you looked like you belong in the ring. Congratulations on becoming a WWE wrestler

Kriss:

Brian:....Ok....so anyway it's your first week so I wanted to go over a few things Arn told me about how well you were reacted to in your debut and stuff...You do want to know right?

Kriss:

Brian:.....I'll take that as a yes. Anyway your vignette kinda tanked. Arn said almost ALL the home audience and the live crowd went to the bathroom while your vignette played. That's pretty normal so don't worry about it too much. Arn did say the people who watched it reacted well to it though and he reckoned you gained heat with the crowd from it. Any heat right now would be good for you Kriss

Kriss:

Brian:......Ok....Anyway turning to Velocity. Tenille and Ryan really earnt their paycheques on Tuesday man. Arn thought that you gained something like 4 points of heat when you won the match over Sakoda. Some of that was residual, Tenille's work but most of it was all you Kriss. Must make you happy to hear huh?

Kriss:

Brian: I see......well we've decided we want to keep this thing with Kyo Dai going so we're going to set up a tag match for Velocity. Kyo Dai V You and your new partner. Now I know what you're thinking, who's my partner right?

Kriss:

Brian:.....Hey don't use all your energy here Kriss, save it for the ring. We thought long and hard about your character and who would be a perfect fit for you and we think we've found the partner for you. So you want to know who it is?

Kriss:

Brian:....Ok man prepare to be shocked. Here he is, your NEW tag team partner *he calls to the curtain* You can come back here now

A man comes back from First Class. The man that would become Kandiman's partner in his war against Kyo Dai. Who could it be? Which man was picked for the job? Well prepare to be shocked cause here he is....

RALPHUS!!!

Kyo Dai is doomed.

Coming Up: This time for sure. The Battleground's reaction to Kandi's debut and the WWE is introduced to Ralphus.

That might be it for now until we settle in and get things back up to scratch.....we all know why don't we?

[Yaheardme]

Glad this survived, think I only had a chance to read up to chapter 6. Write on!

[Guest Reaperstang]

This needs to be pinned ASAP! It is the best diary ever! Kandiman has all the chicks! He has all the drool! By gosh darn golly he has all the CHARISMA!

[Xand]

He should come out to the Balamory theme tune

[D-Extreme]

Oh yeah baby! The time I posted here is the time you reposted the debut of RALPHUS!!! Oh boy I cant wait to see the new updates after you complete your repost.

[Kaney]

Me neither!

*Starts we want Kandiman chant*

Anyone? No?

*Goes home sad*

[Xand]

*takes part!*

We Want Kandiman!

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter 4: Retaliation

Still no word from the Battleground. Why was it taking so long for it to swallow their pride? Why couldn't they admit defeat? These were all going through Kriss's mind as he showed up for the taping on Tuesday. Had he missed something. His spy hadn't seen anything and he was getting worried. Once again Tenille was there to meet him

Tenille: Hey Kriss! Boy we caused some reaction over the net in our debut didn't we?

Kriss: But not in the spot I wanted. I WANT VENGANCE! I WANT VR TO PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME! I WANT TO SEE CADE GROVEL! WHY AREN'T THEY NOTICING!

The sounds of laughter are soon heard from a computer near by one of the production hands is heard

Production Guy: Hey guys have you seen this? This is some funny stuff

Kriss walked over to see what the commotion was. What he saw would chill him. It was his battleground. The site he loved so much and their reaction. First cab off the rank was TheReilDeal who was at the taping

"I just got back from the Smackdown taping, and there was this fat guy in an afro wrestling Sakoda before the show.

Man, at first I thought it was Haku, but aparently his name is 'Kandiman'. It looks like his gimmick comes from eating too much candy as a kid or something, but whatever it is he sucks. Luckily his manager is hot, so I don't have to watch him trying to wrestle."

Then there was the reaction from Boulder

Tell me about it. He can't even do a VELOCITY LOCK Right for christ's sake. If I didn't know better I'd say it's the name that shall never be mentioned around here

Then Kriss's partner. CadeSydal chimed in in responce

Don't be so stupid. Everyone knows that fat bastard couldn't fight to save himself. Just like the IWA.....the Paul Bearer thing.....The everything really. The guys a failure and that guy isn't coming back so why should we care?

That was as far as it got before Kriss threw the computer into a wall. Just as his rage grew though Brian Gerwitz came to meet him and Tenille, bringing Ralphus with him

Brian: Hey guys ready for your big night as a tag team tonight?

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Brian:....Ok but that's what I wanted to talk to you guys about. We think Kyo Dai against you guys in a fued is just what the fans are looking for. Plus it would get you guys over which is what we want. I wanted to know what you guys thought about that. You want a fued with Kyo Dai?

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Brian:....Ok....well I'll let Vince know you dig the idea. This is going to be big for you guys so you better sieze this opportunity. Ok?

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Brian: Ok now for Ralphus's debut.....now what I was thinking was this......

Coming Up: More of Kriss's anger and the WWE gets introduced to Ralphus.

Apologies for the short chapter and all but I wanted to get that down quick so it wouldn't get lost in the setup of the introduction of the team that will SET THE WWE ON FIREEEE!

[kaplanir]

I didn't get a chance to read this one on the old board and now that I saw it with less replies I thought: What the heck...and I thank myself so much. If the rest is like the start, this could become legendary.

[Troy Maskell]

I should've pointed out at the start of the last chapter that I've been battling the flu the last two days so that's why the posting's been a little slow

Chapter 5: Preparing the Wrestling World for Ralphus. (Or Holy Crap a diary of mine has got to 500 views )

Brian's idea was sound, most fans wouldn't have had a clue who Ralphus was. It all depended on Kandi holding things together in his promo to introduce him.....In other words the segment was doomed. Maybe Tenille could save it....

Brian: So when Tenille is finished running down Sakoda you can talk about the rumored challenge from Kyo Dai. Then boom the tag team partner emerges. this is going to be great. You do know what you guys have to do right?

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Tenille: I think we can manage it Brian. I know we can.

THREE HOURS LATER

Production Guy: All right. Kandiman introduces Ralphus take ninety-five....Action

Tenille: Just as predicted my Kandiman made Sakoda a victim of the 'fro but the desire we have for revenge still burns deep. However it seems that some people just don't get the message. We have heard of Kyo Dai's challenge and it is accepted. But who is the mystery man? Well My Kandiman has chosen well, so come Kyo Dai and meet the bearer of your doom.

Kriss: That's right. I searched far and wide for someone who's been turned away from society and forgotten just like me. I LOOK LIKE HAKU REILDEAL?!? DO I LOOK ASIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE MY AFRO IS OUT OF CONTROL? AND YOU CADE! YOU'RE JEALOUS CAUSE I'M HERE AND YOU'RE NOT! WELL DEAL WITH IT! I thought of the Janitor, I thought of Nighthawk but then I found the perfect man. A man who will stand in the shadows no more. Meet the man of your doom Kyo Dai.

And with that Ralphus walks into shot.....and promptly does what he does best

Ralphus:

Tenille: So Kyo Dai come prepared for your destuction Saturday night as My Kandiman and the destructor Ralphus make you just two more victims of the 'fro

Coming Up: Tremble with fear. Kandi and Ralphus fight on the same team. Universe explodes six seconds later

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter 6: Screw Haas and Benjamin. THIS is the World's Greatest Tag Team

Later that night as Velocity was just about to go to air Brian pulled the triumphant trio aside to discuss what the plans were for the show

Brian: Trust me guys it'll work. Subtitles = Ratings. That's why we've done so well getting Ultimo Dragon over. He's doing great with the fans. It'll work for Kyo Dai as well

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Tenille:....Perhaps....if we could see what they were going to say before hand.

Brian: No need Tenille. We're not using your....talents on the mic in this. We want to get some heat on Kyo Dai so they can be in a position to put you over.

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Tenille: Ok......so then we come out, brawl and then we have a match right?

Brian: Right.....but there's been a change tonight....(the audio mysteriously drops out here for a good minute )...Are you ok with that Kriss....Ralphus?

Kriss:

Ralphus:

Brian: Great.....ok guys opening titles are coming up so I gotta get to the control room. Have a good one ok?

Kriss:

Ralphus:

WWE VELOCITY

Velocity opens with the music of Kyo Dai. As they come down to the ring and grab a mic. Of course they only speak Japanese so the handy subtitles are there for us

Akio: We are outraged! We have to be stuck in this ring tonight with a man who's hair outweighs his body...although not by much and his no teeth manslave.

Sakoda: And their woman as well. She doesn't even know what it is to be a woman. She should be seen and not heard. Maybe this....Kandiman should be given lessons because she is.....how do the Americans say....S**t?

Them's fighting words and the heavy theme music of the Kandiman and Ralphus plays as they charge out from the back to defend their manager's honor. Of course since they charged the ring they're now more blown up than the Ultimate Warrior on his worst day, which considering fighting fit Kandi and Ralphus have about as much combined talent as Fat Fuck Barrel Boy this match is really in trouble. And yet they fire some heavy blows. Well Kandi does and blows is not the word considering Akio has better chance of catching a cold than being hit but he sells them like Kandi was the second coming of Muhammad Ali bailing out of the ring lest he be destroyed by the fearsome onslaught. Meanwhile Sakoda and Ralphus have squared off. Ralphus doesn't swing at Sakoda, instead sticking to what he's good at

Ralphus:

Sakoda heads for the outside too, lest he be washed away in the river of drool. The ref runs down and signals for the bell. This match is on the way.

KANDIMAN & RALPHUS v KYO DAI

Akio finally slides back into the ring to begin this match with Kandi and he fares just about as well. Kandi hits a huge knifeedge chop, well alledgedly. Kandi then hit his IWA Worldwide DDT but instead of going for the pin he tags in Ralphus and drags Akio to the centre of the ring. The crowd who haven't gone to the bathroom begin to buzz as they wonder what could come from the man mountain. Ralphus moves to Akios head and then kinda like the Rock kicks him in position then Ralphus signals to the crowd what's coming by......by.....TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT! AHHHHH! MY EYYYYYYYEEEEEES! The rest of the crowd then run to the bathroom or somewhere to throw up as Ralphus bounces off both ropes before stopping just next to Akio and attempt the NEW Most Electrifying Move in Sports Entertainment

Ralphus:

THE DROOLING ELBOW!.......MISSES! Akio rolls desperately out of the way lest he be destroyed by such a devestating move and tags in Sakoda.

Sakoda goes right on the attack with martial arts kicks and clever double teaming to keep Ralphus grounded....I suppose it would look more devestating if Ralphus knew what selling was but hell it's early. Anyway Akio tags back in and goes to the top but the Yang Time misses and Ralphus crawls to the corner to tag in Kandi who is A AFRO A FIRE BAYBEE! (Well I tried )taking both men down with devestating clotheslines. A pair of bodyslams for the Kyo Dai boys follows before Kandi sends Sakoda out of the ring and attacks the fallen Akio with a huge splash of the ropes. That's the other dangerous move from Kandi THE DOUBLE STANDARD! Ralphus goes over to try and get Sakoda as the ref tries to restore order as Kandi covers but suddenly out of the crowd a figure slides into the ring. IT'S TAJIRI! TAJIRI HITS THE BUZZSAW KICK! Most of the impact was cushioned by the enormous Afro of Kandi but it does enough damage to incapacitate him long enough to allow Akio to cover for the three count. Kyo Dai steals one but they're not done. Ralphus gets rolled back into the ring by Sakoda who almost breaks his back doing so and the three men put the boots to the fallen heros. Who can stop this heinous beating? Ultimo? Paul London? Of course not silly that wouldn't be Kandi like. Instead Ralphus and Kandi get saved by their own manager the little Tenille Gray who slides in with a chair to send Kyo Dai running. Meanwhile all the fans can say is thank GOD that's over

-***

16 overall

8 CR

24 MQ

Coming Up: More of the Battleground Reaction and how will Kandi and Ralphus recover from this terrible setback?

Edited May 15, 2004 by Troy Maskell

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter 7: I have no witty name to put here. Basically a weekend update

After another house show on the nameless circuit Kriss rested in his seat on the plane when once again Brian came to talk to him about the plans for the upcoming week.

Brian: Hey Kriss another big week down huh, you're looking all the better in the ring and the fans have really taken to Ralphus. But hey this is about you right man? You wanna hear what we have right?

Kriss:

Brian: Great to hear, Vince loves that kind of enthusiasm. Well I just got through talking with Arn and he reckoned that the whole segment with Ralphus really got you over. We're guessing about 12% are actually staying to watch your match now instead of going to the merchandise stall. That's great news for you hey Kriss?

Kriss:

Brian: The match kinda tanked but that's Kyo Dai's fault in our opinion.....that Drooling Elbow is ratings man did you think of that?

Kriss:

Brian: What am I saying? Of course you did. Your resume said your IQ was 220 after all. Great Work Kriss it makes our work easier. Anyway we think this week that we've got a double whammy for you. We're going to help you all this week, we've got a worker coming up from OVW to manage Kyo Dai and match up with Tenille. We think this will work great. By the way we're asking around. Next Sunday is Backlash Kriss....you intrested in going?

Kriss:

Brian: Great.....See me after the taping Tuesday and I'll give you guys the passes. This is going to be great Kriss.....the things I have planned for you. You're going to love them

Brian went back to first class as Kriss looked out the window at the night sky when suddenly he recieved a strange phone call.

Mystery Voice: Your suspension on EWB has been lifted.....you can now see what they say. But know this I will soon join you in the WWE and for the good of wrestling fans I will stop you. Then I'll take what you cherish the most

Kriss: No! NOT THE 'FRO! YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD! WHO IS THIS? CADE? IT'S YOU ISN'T IT? YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT I MADE IT HERE BEFORE YOU!

Mystery Voice: (Laughing) Think again Kandiman......You don't know me but rest assured I know you.....I know you all too well and your destuction will soon be complete *Click*

Kriss: SHOW YOURSELF YOU COWARD! YOU THINK I'M SCARED OF EWB? I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE! VR SENT ME AWAY! AND VR WILL PAY! DAMN YOU VR! YOU WILL FEAR THE 'FRO! EVERYONE WILL FEAR THE 'FRO!

Then suddenly he went silent, realising the plane was looking at him. It would be written up as a midair incident but as Kriss sat down he worried. EWB had noticed him, and now EWB was preparing to strike back.

Coming Up: The WWE and Kandi go into damage control, Kriss looks at EWB for the first time in months and could Ralphus find love?

[Troy Maskell]

Chapter 8: Kriss returns to the Battleground

As the mysterious phonecaller had told him, he was free to return to the place that had shunned him, the place that stirred his drive, he could finally see what the EWB members were writing about him. He smiled knowing that jealousy could be a curse for people like Cade but the REAL EWB they'd respect him, he went straight to the Ring to check out the Velocity reactions just waiting to see the fans suck up to him. That's not what he found.

Instead what he found first was this post from Xandmatt

Subject: "I'm not seeing things am I?

Woah, woah woah...please tell me that I am not seeing things...Kandiman is on the bloody WWE? The guy that stuttered reviewing a racing game on GameZville and sweated like a pig is on WWE programming? He's got no talent, no charisma and no look to him.

VR must be sooo crapping his pants...

Of course Kriss kept this in mind for his next vignette. Next was Dante287

Dante287: Kandiman is the greatest wrestler we could ever hope to have in the WWE at the current time, him and Ralphus will soon be overtaking the tag-team division, if of course it was by eating, both of them are no talent Gimps who should just quit wrestling now, and as for Kandi's ahem 'Fro, it has to go!

That got him thinking, could Dante be the one who called him threatening the one thing that meant anything to him? Probably not but he gave it further thought before he got inturrupted by someone

Voice: Don't pay them no attention, they did the same thing to me when I started getting a push

Kriss spun around to see John Bradshaw Leyfield standing there.

John: Hell if they were in the WWE they'd be so busy kissing everyone's ass that it'd look like a three year old at Easter. You're better than them, wouldn't be here if you weren't.

Kriss:

John: Say I saw that Velocity match last Tuesday, that Drooling Elbow thing.....Man that might have been the funniest thing I've seen. Where is the big guy anyway?

Kriss:

John:....Ahh it doesn't matter I'll run into him eventually. You just keep what you're doing Kriss and you'll be a top guy in no time, hell you might fight me one day

But Kandi's return had not gone unoticed....somewhere someone had noticed it and smiled for the plan he had was falling into place.

MEANWHILE

Ralphus on the other hand was just hanging around, not doing much really it was tough talking to many people but one person had taken notice.

Feminine Voice: Well hello Ralphus. You know I noticed you in your match the other night and I thought that move was soooo sexy

Ralphus:

Feminine Voice: You know Ralphus, I'm lonely, so lonely. Ever since he left I've been so alone. I just need someone to spend time with. You know how that is right?

Ralphus:

Feminine Voice:.....I knew you would. Well maybe we don't have to be. Maybe we can be alone together.....I mean if you like that.....You do don't you?

Ralphus:

Feminine Voice: Oh thank God! Well what are we waiting for? You want to come out with me?

Ralphus:

The two link arms and walk off, a true odd couple if ever there was one. A moment later Tenille Gray, faithful manager comes out of a dressing room before looking around

Tenille: Ralphus! Where'd he go? Damn it all

MEANWHILE

Brian and Kriss had hooked up again for another meeting.

Brian: I think we have something to go on here Kriss for the next show but we need a third man for your team, and a name. D-X got over, The Corporation got over. I assure you Kandiman and his cronys won't. We need a name and a wrestler. What do you think?

Kriss:

Brian: I've GOT IT! We'll make a special Velocity poll, let our fans decide on the name. That way it'll be something they ALL enjoy. As for the wrestler, I think I know just who to call.........(fade out)

Coming up: Who is the new addition to the Kandi Klan and what did Ralphus get up to?

OOC: Brian's last comment was to set up a competition I ran on EWB3, the winner is revealed in Chapter 9 so please no ideas.

[Kaney]

So.....many...updates!

Due to all the change and stuff, I've actually forgotten what they get called....sorry Troy!

Roll on chapter 9!

[Xand]

I wouldn't be surprised if VR is the mystery caller...