WWE 2005

[The Chronic]

Smackdown! Preview

Randy Orton is still missing!

The battle for supremacy on top of the Cruiserweight division continues

And in the main event Booker T rematches Eddie Guerrero from two weeks ago!

[The Chronic]

Smackdown!

September 15, 2005

Singles Match

Heidenreich vs. Ken Kennedy

Kennedy comes out to the ring and he tries to do his announcing thing except this time Tony Chimel looked really fed up and pulled the mic away and started announcing Heidenreich’s entrance before Kennedy could get his word in. Kennedy didn’t bother because he was focused on the match ahead.

Heidenreich started off using various power moves and really took his breath away. Kennedy was rolling around the ring in extreme pain. Heidenreich just crushed Kennedy with a huge Powerbomb. Kennedy was out cold in the middle of the ring. Right on cue out came Melina, Nitro, and Mercury. Melina took the ref into the corner and started to feel him up while Mercury and Nitro clocked Heidenreich with 2 chair shots each. Heidenreich collapsed on the mat and they put Kennedy’s arm over him for the win.

After the match Kennedy regained consciousness and joined in with MNM for the post match beat down. There were chair shots aplenty after the match as Heidenreich was bloodied from shot after shot by Kennedy, Nitro, and Mercury. Animal came out but he too was met with shot after shot until he lay next to Heidenreich in the ring. Both out cold.

62/60/65

Kennedy gained overness from this match

The cameras went to backstage where Josh Matthews was standing with Chris Benoit

Josh: Mr. Benoit what are your thoughts on Christian’s heinous attacks last week?

Benoit: Christian is a crybaby and a coward. He knew he couldn’t handle me in a fair fight so he had to come crying to the ring when I wasn’t expecting it. Well you know what Christian, I’ll give you a chance tonight to prove yourself to me and these people that you aren’t a coward. I don’t want to embarrass you too quickly because I’m a nice guy so I’m going to challenge you to a tag match. I’ll find my partner and you can choose any one of your cowardly friends backstage to be your partner. That is if you have any friends. (Benoit smiles as they cut to Batista who is in the ring)

83

Batista: Listen Eddie, because I’m only going to say this once. You aren’t and never will be the World Heavyweight champion. I don’t care what screwed up crap you want to say about how you are crazy, you’re just the same ol Eddie to me. A LIAR, A CHEATER and a—

*LATINO HEAT* hits the PA speakers.

Eddie runs down to the ring with a pair of brass knuckles and just pounds away on Batista until he went down in a bloody heap. Eddie dips his finger in Batista’s blood and draws a cross on his chest with the blood as he believes that God is his only friend now and that God is the only one who he can trust and look up to. He steals Batista’s title and then grabs the mic

Eddie: A STEALER! (laughs maniacally until Smackdown goes into break)

85

Returning from break Smackdown joins Heidenreich and Animal backstage where they are plotting an attack on MNM. They look pretty beat up. They found MNM getting into their limousine and ready to drive away until they each opened a door up and threw MNM out. A huge revenge beatdown occurred as LOD finally got their shots in.

67

Bob Orton was pacing around the whole backstage area looking very frightened. He came up to Funaki and started shaking him

Orton: Damnit what did you do with my boy! I’m going to kill you!

Funaki just stood there shocked clearly not sure of what just happened.

Orton went up to Booker T a little more calm

Orton: Booker, Booker, I really need your help. I know we’ve never really talked but I’m a big fan… really!

Booker was looking impatient

Orton: Booker where is my son? JUST TELL ME WHERE IS MY SON?!

Booker: Look man, I got a match tonight I need to get prepared for. I don’t know where the hell your son is or that creepy brotha the Undertaker. All I know is I gotta go.

Orton: WAIT! WAAIIIT!

70

Bob Orton gained overness from this segment

Tag Match

Cruiser Heroes (Paul London/Scotty 2 Hotty) vs. Mexicools (Super Crazy/Psicosis)

This match was certainly the show stealer as Brian Johnson decided that this match should be given a good amount of time to try and get this feud over with the fans. It really worked as this match was a TV classic.

The Cruiser Heroes as they have started to call themselves came out first accompanied by Rey Mysterio who was announced as Benoit’s partner in tonight’s tag match. Next the Mexicools came out on their lawnmowers with rakes and garden tools. Brian Hebner forced the Mexicools to take the tools to the stage. They surprisingly complied. I guess they want to show they can win any kind of match.

London started off in the ring against Super Crazy. They circled each and felt each other out with touches. They grappled up and from there it was a technical showcase. At about the 7 minute mark London made the hot tag to Scotty 2 Hotty who came in and cleaned house with a string of dropkicks including one to the back of Super Crazy’s knee. They decided to isolate Super Crazy in their corner. They used team work to isolate him while Psicosis was jumping up and down waiting for a hot tag. Scotty and London had great chemistry and look like a team that WWE is going to keep.

Super Crazy finally had a huge counter when he ducked a punch from London who connected with Scotty instead. Super Crazy was able to get the hot tag to Psicosis at around 11 minutes in. This was Psicosis’s first ring time of the match. He springboards off the rope and took down both London and Scotty 2 Hotty. Psicosis bounced off the rope and landed a running leg drop. He covered Scotty and got a 2 ½ count. He picks up Scotty 2 Hotty and hits a huge face buster. He went up top and went for the corkscrew somersault senton to finish the match but Scotty moved out of the way and crawled to make the hot tag to London. London gets in the ring and hits a super kick on Super Crazy sending him out of the ring. He connects on a standing shooting star press on Psicosis for a huge victory for the Cruiser Heroes. London, S2H, and Mysterio stand tall in the ring raising each other’s hands.

76/61/91

Super Crazy is losing overness from his weak gimmick.

Next we see the camera in JBL’s locker room where he and Christian are hanging out and drinking beers.

Christian: Hey man I know what you’re going through. We’re like the same person. I got that rabid ballerina Chris Benoit after me and you have that PSYCHO Orlando FRICKEN Jordan after you. How does he feel like he is at the same level as a man of your stature? He should be cleaning dishes in the back, I don’t know why he’s anywhere near the WWE at this point.

JBL: You know what your problem is man you just gotta stop thinking and you have to just wrestle. I mean maybe it’s easier for a Wrestling God like myself to wrestle off of instinct, but man you are here for a reason. That’s why I say tonight we just go out and wrestle our asses off, what’d ya say to that?

(They have a toast to kicking some ass and had another beer)

76

The arena went black and red pyros were going off from the 4 corners and all the way down the aisle making a sort of “path to Hell”. This time instead of high pitched screams there was high pitched laughter. Weird segment, I don’t think the crowd really knows what’s going on.

57

Tag Match

JBL and Christian vs. Chris Benoit and Rey Mysterio

Christian and Rey Mysterio start off in the ring. Christian mockingly plays around with Rey as he extends his arm and holds the top of Mysterio’s head was Mysterio tries to punch him. Finally Mysterio slid and kicked out Christian’s legs.

All of a sudden JBL was gone from ringside because he was being dragged onto the ramp by Orlando Jordan as he goes by now. Orlando just continuously beat JBL with just his fists no weapons or anything. Orlando looks like he is trying to prove that he can beat anyone in a 1-on-1 situation. He looks more determined than ever before. He also looks much more violent. The match was ruled a no contest through interference.

76/77/76

Returning from the break Bob Orton was standing in the ring.

Orton: UNDERTAKER! GIVE ME MY SON BACK! Undertaker you rotten son of a bitch give me my damn son back. Show your face you coward. Why can’t you just come out here and face me like a man?

A huge lightening bolt shot off in the arena and all the lights went out. On the screen it said 38 days.

80

Bob Orton gained overness from this segment

The Undertaker lost overness from this segment

Singles Match

Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Eddie Guerrero came out with the World Heavyweight belt around his waist. Booker T ran in and was pumped up for this match deciding that this could be a big match that could elevate his career in the WWE. Eddie grabbed the mic first…

Eddie: I’ll give you a good deal essa, I’m going to grant you a shot at my World Heavyweight title. This is the chance of a lifetime essa, come and get it!

Right when Booker ran forward to attack Eddie, Eddie clocked him with the belt and DQ’d himself before the match even got going. After he was officially DQ’d he went out of the ring and grabbed a table and two chairs to perform his newly famed taco. With sombrero and all he set up Booker T’s head into the taco and hit the big Frog Splash to put Booker T out cold. Eddie was shown giving the title a big kiss as Smackdown went off air.

83/87/76

Overall 73

[The Chronic]

Velocity

September 17, 2005

Singles Match

Harley Lewis d. Big Vito via Piledriver

Harley Lewis dominated the whole match by using a variety of power moves and stiff shots.

70/58/83

Harley Lewis gained overness from this match

Big Vito lost overness from this match

Video of Eddie stealing Batista's title

85

Singles Match

Paul Birchall d. Steven Richards via Standing Shooting Star Press

Birchall crushed Steven Richards with a mix of high flying moves and power moves.

62/41/84

Paul Birchall gained overness from this match

Steven Richards lost overness from this match

Video of Bob Orton looking for his boy and then calling out the Undertaker

81

Video of Jordan attacking JBL

69

JBL lost overness from this segment

Orlando Jordan lost overness from this segment

Singles Match

Joey Mercury d. Funaki via feet on the ropes roll up

An ok battle. Funaki was starting to come back but Mercury slid under him rolled him up and then used the ropes to get the win.

69/60/78

Overall - 62

HeaT!

September 18, 2005

Val Venis d. Derrick King via Money Shot

Venis continues to win but Derrick King got a lot of offense in, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him with a WWE contract sooner than later.

66/56/77

Video of Masters attacking Show

68

Chris Masters gained overness from this segment

Onyx d. Kerwin White via Blackout

White dominated the beginning and started fooling around. Onyx then came back with a lot of high flying offense. White, shocked, runs off and screams about how it was never right to be white.

69/57/81

Kerwin White lost overness from this match

Onyx gained overness from this match

Onyx stays in the ring and grabs the mic

Onyx: Ima take this time to warn all of you backstage. I'm

comin for you (he smiles and winks)

66

Onyx gained overness from this segment

Video of Flair going insane and attacking Shelton

78

Johnny Parisi d. Tajiri via Swing Thing after interference from the Con Man who accompanied him to the ring.

67/58/77

Johnny Parisi gained overness from this match

Conway grabbed the mic after the match

Conway: Team work is a beautiful thing and the Con Man found a partner much like himself after randomly being paired to take on the former champs. Now that they are out of the way we are going to take out the Tag division our way. The

Both: Tri-State Connection Way.

I guess their tag name is the Tri-State Connection.

54

Overall - 52

Spike TV Unhappy with HeaT's Risky Product!

Word coming out of the WWE camp is that Spike TV announced that if the WWE doesn't tone down their show then they will have to be dropped because it is far too risky for the early night slot. I am clueless as to what was so risky about last show, my only guess would have to be Rob Conway's attire. Keep checking here for updates on this story and more.

source: Wrestling Observer

Edited July 25, 2006 by The Chronic

[The Chronic]

RAW Preview

Big Show squares off against Tyson Tomko who is on a big knockout streak

RVD defends his belt against Rene Dupree

Bischoff has a big announcement

Shelton Benjamin officially buries Mick Foley's career

and much more in a jampacked RAW!

Edited July 26, 2006 by The Chronic

[The Chronic]

Monday Night RAW

September 19, 2005

Singles Match

Matt Striker vs. Triple H

When Motorhead hit the speakers the boos erupted from the rabid crowd. Triple H was back and they were hating every minute of it. Triple H got in the ring and was just playing with Striker for a couple minutes. He would miss clotheslines on purpose and pretend like Striker’s blows were crushing. Eventually though he must’ve gotten tired of this as he just kicked Striker’s midsection and pedigreed him for the win at 3:56.

60/58/63

After that squash match we went backstage where Rosey is standing alone.

Rosey: A lot of you may be wondering why I did such a horrible thing to everyone’s favorite super hero. It’s just that, he was everybody’s favorite super hero. I was always second in line for everything. We may have been great buddies in the ring but once we went behind those curtains we never hung out. He always was too busy with his fans and friends. I AM SICK OF IT. THAT is why I left him out to dry because I’m sick of always being in his shadow when I KNOW I can be the main man. And Hurricane I’m going to show you how great we could’ve been.

73

Rosey’s new gimmick received a positive reaction,

The camera cuts to Bischoff’s office where his new “buddy” John Cena is sitting in a chair.

Bischoff: What did I tell you John? Was I not right?

John Cena: Like I said last week Bitchoff I don’t need to watch my back for no one. I’m not scared of Triple H.

Bischoff: I don’t think it’s in your best interest to face him so early. He requested a match to me with you, and I said NO.

John Cena: I’m telling you man, I don’t need your damn help. I’ll fight whoever the hell wants to fight me. I don’t care when I have to defend my title, I’ll do it.

Bischoff: Good because instead I booked a match for next week.

John Cena: Go on.

Bischoff: WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA TAKES ON EDGE IN A CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH.

John Cena: Good cause I still don’t give a damn. I’ll face Edge, Triple H, and Shelton Benjamin. (subtle boost for Benjamin being mentioned in the title scene)

Bischoff: Good luck John.

John Cena: Whatever.

75

John Cena lost overness from this segment.

Right as Cena was about to walk out Edge spears Shawn Michaels through the wooden door. And yells out that he is the number one superstar in this company and he’ll prove it week in and week out.

Cena just awkwardly brushes past Edge.

Bischoff: GET OUT! (he pokes his head out the doorway and yells down the hall) WE NEED SOMEONE DOWN HERE TO FIX THE DOOR.

88

Singles Match

Intercontinental Championship

Rob Van Dam © vs. Rene Dupree

RVD starts out fast with a leg sweep to take out Dupree’s legs. Then quickly hits rolling thunder. He’s looking to finish off Dupree fast. He nails a split-legged moonsault and covers but only gets 2. He picks him up and snap suplexes him. All of a sudden familiar music hits and chants of “YOU SUCK” are right on cue with it. Angle runs down into the ring and RVD tries to fight him off but he ducks and kick and gets behind RVD for the Angle Slam. At that point the match is thrown out due to DQ. Angle then Angle Slams Rene Dupree and grabs the mic.

77/76/79

Kurt Angle: You may have all thought I was gone after I didn’t appear last week. But nooo I was training. Always training to be better. RVD all you do is go home and smoke pot. A real champion doesn’t need drugs. A man with integrity is able to control himself and stay away from drugs. It may seem random that I show up and attack you RVD, but there are two reasons I did it.

First of all I am going to become champion. It’s true, it’s true (busted that one out after not using it for a while). And I’m certainly not going to use the Intercontinental title as a stepping stone, hell I’m going to make it more valuable than the World title. Because if you are like me and have the drive, you can succeed. Of course you’d also have to have the God-given gifts that I received, but the real point here is that I WILL bring the intercontinental title to the top.

Second of all you are complete scum. Scum like you doesn’t deserve a spot on the roster much less a title. I’m going to strip you of your title and I’m not going to stop until I strip you naked of your dignity (whatever you have left of it). Rob Van Dam, DUDE (mockingly) we are just starting here and we won’t finish until you are out of the WWE.

89

Singles match

Big Show vs. Tyson Tomko

Actually not bad bout here. Tomko and Big Show’s styles certainly meshed well. Big Show gained the upper hand early when he grabbed one of Tomko’s incoming fists and pulled him forward and hit a huge clothesline. Big Show was attempting to choke Tomko out for the next 5 minutes working on his throat. Finally he hit a huge chokeslam on him.

Right on cue Masters jumps over the barricade and grabs the referee out of the ring. The ref hits his head on the mat and is knocked out allowing Masters to apply the Masterlock to Big Show. Masters drops him to the ground about 2 minutes later and slides out of the ring. The ref and Tomko are both back up. Tomko picks up the Big Show and hits him with a huge running boot. The ref rules it a knockout. A HUGE win for Tomko and Big Show’s problems with Masters continue.

70/65/76

When the show got back from break there was a big rock slab in the middle of the ring as well as Shelton Benjamin and a big bag next to him.

Shelton Benjamin: (in a low sad tone) We are all gathered here today to mourn the passing of Mick Foley’s career. He started off in the WCW— (all of a sudden got an excited tone) HELL LET’S JUST BURN IT.

All of a sudden a cover of the popular Jimi Hendrix song “Fire” started blaring over the speakers and Shelton started comically dancing around the ring to the rhythm of the song. He opened up the bag and out poured a ton of tapes and dvds onto the stone slab. They were all labeled as big matches in Mick Foley’s career. There were also a bunch of pictures of him in there and autographs. Next out came a replica Mankind mask and a replica Mr. Socko. Then he tossed the shirt Cactus Jack always wears onto the pile. Finally he burned all of the tie die shirts and bandanas that Dude Love often came out in. Shelton went under the ring and grabbed the gasoline and poured it all over the slab.

The crowd was booing vehemently at this time. They were shocked that he would actually go through with this in such a happy mood too with the song playing on loop. Finally he took the match out and grabbed the mic one last time.

Benjamin: We’ll miss you Mick (pretends to sob)

That was really one of the most bizarre moments in wrestling. Watching Benjamin pretend to sob while burning Mick Foley’s career all at the same time as Jimi Hendrix’s dance hit “Fire” was playing in the back ground.

Benjamin finally dropped the match onto the slab and boos just erupted. Benjamin has quickly become one of the biggest heels in the company and the crowd seems to hate everything he does right now.

The slab was still in flames when Ric Flair’s music played and he came out with his robe on.

89

Flair comes out with a mic already in hand

Flair: Shelton I thought that talk we had last night would have you realize that no matter how old WOOOOOOOOOO the WOOOOOOOOOO Nature Boy is. It doesn’t matter he’ll still kick ass especially a punk like you. The dirtiest player in the game will always find a way to win, go ahead and give me a whole ring of officials WOOOOO I’ll still kick your ass. Damnit I’m a Wheelin' Dealing, Kiss stealin', Jet Flying, Limousine Ridin', Son of a gun and Shelton Benjamin next week on RAW in a tag match I will kick your ass for all of these people here. WOOOOOOOOOO Scared yet big boy? Didn’t think you were getting yourself into this did you? WOOOOOOOOOOO Ric Flair is coming for you son.

He then started hitting himself in the head

Flair: You aren’t WOOOOO getting out of WOOOOOO our match alive. I’m going to WOOOOO bury you and your career WOOOOOOO. Don’t think I’m going to let up WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Be prepared for a war son, because you’ve just started one.

The whole time he was talking he was punching himself in the head and just like a few weeks earlier at this point he had opened up a considerably large gash on his head.

Flair: Shelton you wanted to be recognized and WOOOOOOOOOO you are being recognized now. Soon you are going to be unrecognizable with all the scars WOOOOOOOOOO. (with blood now running down his face and dripping off) You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into did you? The dirtiest player in the game isn’t going to let up on any little disrespectful punk! (he gives a last emphatic Woooo to the crowd and then walks back backstage leaving Shelton dumbfounded in the ring.

99

Ric Flair gained overness from this segment

Singles Match

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge came out in a fury. He looked the best he ever has pretty much. He jumped on the Heart Break Kid right at the beginning and beat on Shawn with lefts and rights. After the ref counted to 5 he picked up HBK and hit a few snap suplexes. He looked like he really wanted to win this one and prove himself as the #1 contender for the title.

After about 3 minutes of Edge just absolutely dominating the sluggish Michaels, HBK finally got a big reversal when Edge went for the early Spear. Edge’s main problem is his cockiness and it showed here. Shawn hit a sloppy backdrop and they both were slow to their feet. Edge whipped Michaels into the turnbuckle and he did his flip over the whole turn buckle and hit the apron and fell to the outside. Edge hit a springboard elbow and they were both down on the outside. The ref counted to 7 and they were both struggling up.

They rolled into the ring at 9. At about the 11 minute mark in the match Triple H walked out of the curtains with a chair he ran to the ring but instead of sliding in he laid the chair right in front of the ramp and sat down and watched. All of the time I’m sure he was wondering why he wasn’t in this match. Edge whipped Michaels into the ropes and hit a huge back body drop over the top rope and Michaels landed on HHH. This angered Triple H who picked up his chair and hit Michaels (his former friend) right across the back while the ref was talking to Edge. Triple H rolled HBK back into the ring and Edge picked him up and stood him up in a corner. Edge hit a huge spear that may have broken HBK in half and covered for the 3 count. Edge celebrated and HHH slid into the ring, Edge looked ready to fight but HHH raised his hand too. HHH then turned and kicked Edge right in the stomach and hit a Pedigree leaving HHH standing tall in the ring.

81/82/79

Shawn Michaels looked sluggish and didn’t put any effort in.

Cena: HOLD UP HOLD UP

He then appears out of the curtain

Cena: Now Triple H I wouldn’t consider yourself champion yet. Dawg, you still don’t have a shot at this title and you aren’t number one contender. Just because you cheap shot Edge doesn’t mean you get the match now. I don’t give a damn though I’ll take you on too. I’m sure the fans would love to see us go toe to toe and they would LOVE to see me kick your ASS.

(fans cheer big time)

HHH: You better shine that title up because when we get to Survivor Series their will be a new inscription on it. It will be “The Number One Player in the Company’s History, The Game, The one the only, Triple H”.

Cena: I’ll kick your ass, I’ll kick Edge’s ass, I’ll kick Funaki’s ass, I don’t even care anymore. I’ll take the whole RAW roster on right now dawg, I have no worries. You can talk about how you are the Game but don’t ever talk about how you are number one until you have this (spins his title). And why the wait for Survivor Series? Why don’t we fight right now? HUH? Let’s go (rips off his shirt and runs down to the ring where they have another stare down until HHH rolls out of the ring smiling and does the hand motion to show that he’s going to get the belt soon.

99

John Cena gained overness from this segment

Overall - 82

[The Saint]

What happened to Matt and Lita? They were never even metioned on RAW.

[The Chronic]

What happened to Matt and Lita? They were never even metioned on RAW.

[The Chronic]

Smackdown! Preview

The Cruiser Heroes and the Mexicools continue their feud with Mysterio squaring off against Super Crazy

Christian has a special challenge waiting for Benoit

In the Main Event we'll see Booker T take on JBL with Booker looking to make a push for the World Heavyweight Title if it ever gets back to its rightful owner

Catch all of this and more on UPN at 8/7 CT

[The Chronic]

Smackdown!

September 22, 2005

Kennedy was already in the ring when the show began.

Kennedy: Tony Chimel, I have to say it plain and simple right here. You SUCK. How damn hard is it to show a little emotion maybe put a little effort into your job. I guess being a fat worthless slob does have its setbacks.

On that note Funaki came running out. I guess he was standing up for announcers.

58

Singles Match

Announcer vs. Announcer

Funaki vs. Ken Kennedy

Funaki got things started quickly catching Kennedy off guard. He took out his legs with a baseball slide right to the back of Kennedy’s knee. Funaki worked over Kennedy’s leg with various knee drops and other strikes. Kennedy worked his way to back to his feet and sidestepped a missile dropkick from Smackdown’s Number 1 Announcer. From here on Kennedy dominated Funaki. He took Funaki up top for the Lambeau Leap and was about to connect but NO. Tony Chimel hit Kennedy in the back of the knee that Funaki had worked over earlier in the match. Kennedy just collapsed off the second rope with Funaki falling on him. Score one for the announcers as Funaki gets the victory.

Winner: Funaki (via int. from Tony Chimel)

Time: 5:46

64/56/73

Bob Orton is shown with a cup of coffee running around the backstage area still. Orton has big bags under his eyes, his hair is messy and he is wearing the same shirt he was wearing last week, just noticeably dirtier. He is clearly tired as he looks like he has honestly spent 24/7 looking for his son and 3rd generation wrestler, Randy Orton. Finally he went back to the main Smackdown locker room where he dropped his coffee cup.

There was his son Randy Orton staring right back at him. Orton looked paler than ever before and his eyes were lifeless.

Randy Orton: Hi dad

Bob Orton: RANDY! Where the HELL have you been?!

Randy is silent.

Bob Orton: Well son?!

Randy Orton: Dad, when can I finally rest in peace?

Bob: Son what are you talking about.

Randy: When can I finally be put to rest by the Undertaker? When can he take away my pain?

Bob: What the hell has gotten into ya?! Well maybe this is just one of your phases. I’m tellin’ ya Randy, you gotta focus on wrestling.

81

Bob Orton gained overness from this segment

All the lights went out in the locker room where the Ortons were in. A big explosion went off and the door busted off it’s hinges as a bunch of purple smoke filled the room. Following the smoke is none other than The Undertaker.

Bob Orton: Listen Undertaker you need to get out of here now! Leave me and my boy be.

Undertaker: Bob, do you really not see what has happened to your son. Doesn’t he seem a little LIFELESS?

Bob Orton: What the hell did you do to him?!

Undertaker: I’m so glad you asked. Let me just say you should’ve never stepped foot near me. You and Randy made the mistakes of your lives. Literally for Randy (evil laugh)

Bob Orton: Listen I’m only going to ask one more time, what the hell did you do to my son?!

Undertaker: If you MUST know, I just gave him a tour of the graveyard. I could tell he liked it so much he wished that would be his life. So I did him a favor and stole his soul. It is contained right here. (he pulls out a big urn resembling the one that Paul Bearer used to carry around)

Bob Orton: Undertaker you are a sick bastard you know that? I demand a chance to get my son’s soul back.

Undertaker: YES…AT No Mercy I will put his soul on the line in a casket match. The loser will REST…IN…PEACE.

80

(one of the stupidest/craziest ideas the WWE has ever had. This may even top Katie Vick…maybe)

Singles Match

Super Crazy vs. Rey Mysterio

Another match out of this feud that really delivers a great performance. Both men were on the top of their games tonight. Rey came out alone while Super Crazy came out accompanied by just Psicosis. This match was great for what it was. A big spot fest. Mysterio started off by ducking between Super Crazy’s legs and taking them down from behind. He started the action off right away by running to the ropes and hitting a springboard moonsault. He covered and he already got a count of 2. Mysterio looked like he was getting too comfortable as he started playing to the crowd.

He set up for the 619, but when he swung around Super Crazy pushed him out of the ring. He then slingshotted himself up for the Asai Moonsault on the staggered Mysterio. This knocked both competitors out until the count of 9 when they managed to get back in. Super Crazy hit a huge Tornado DDT at the 10 minute mark and covered but it only got a count of 2 as Mysterio somehow kicked out. Super Crazy signaled that he was going to end it. He hit a moonsault from the first turnbuckle. Then he got up and hit one from the second turnbuckle. He went up to hit one from the 3rd turnbuckle but Mysterio was able to roll his body out of the way.

Both competitors were down until Super Crazy got up at 9. He hit Mysterio with a couple of forearms then whipped him into the referee who was knocked out of the ring. This prompted Psicosis to hit the ring and went for the springboard dropkick on Mysterio but Mysterio was able to duck out of the way which caused Crazy to get hit by the dropkick. Mysterio proceeded to hit the 619/West Coast Pop as the referee got back in the ring and Mysterio was awarded the victory! Psicosis and Super Crazy looked angry but they seemed ok as they headed back to the locker room together.

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Time: 13:29

81/71/94

Super Crazy is losing overness from his weak gimmick

Next we got a live feed from Eddie Guerrero in El Paso, Texas.

Eddie: Wow homes, I can’t explain how great it is to finally be champion. It’s like 1000 monkeys all off my back at the same time homes. I don’t think you understand the importance of this title win Batista. I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to. This is the biggest achievement of my life and I would just like to say thank you to all the fans who supported me and helped me see through all of my life struggles. THANK YOU. I love each and everyone of you. (he laughs sarcastically). HOMES, I’m number 1 in the world, deal with it Batista. You will NEVER get a chance at my baby again (he stands up and has the title across his waist as the camera fades out)

89

Immediately Michael Cole is informed something is happening backstage so the cameras cut there and Batista is power bombing and clotheslining everyone in sight. He is just yelling random stuff that doesn’t really make any sense, it looks like Eddie cracked Batista so now they are both equally insane. Finally security was able to get a hold of Batista

86

Christian and Paul Birchall are standing backstage

Christian: Benoit, you think you are so great and a rabid and all that garbage but we’ll see how you fare against the #2 athlete in the whole world. Oh sorry, I guess I have an introduction to make. This is THE Paul Birchall. You may have seen him running around with that fool William Regal just awhile ago, but that was Paul just messing around on Velocity getting his experience in. Now he’s with a real superstar and is ready to take it to the next level. You should get to know him very well in oh say….THIRY SECONDS?

67

Birchall gained overness from this segment

Christian lost overness from this segment

Singles Match

Paul Birchall w/Christian vs. Chris Benoit

This match was really a technical showcase of the two men. They felt each other out for about 2 and a half minutes without anyone gaining the upper hand. Finally Benoit cut out Birchall’s leg when he got behind him. Benoit really went to work on the neck wearing it down with knees and forearms. He then picked Birchall up and hit an impressive German Suplex on the 280 pound beast. After a string of snap suplexes that were all impressive, Benoit went for the cover but only got a 2 count. This is when he signaled for the end of the match and went up top.

Christian pulled down the top work and racked Benoit on the turnbuckle. He stayed there for about 10 seconds in pain while Birchall recovered. Birchall then pulled off a breathtaking move. It was a jackhammer off the top rope into the ring. He covered and got an easy 3 count. This new move is called the Overdose. Birchall and Christian celebrate as they walk to the back together.

Winner: Paul Birchall

Time: 5:20

67/50/85

Birchall gained overness from this match

Chris Benoit lost overness from this match

Singles Match

Booker T vs. JBL

JBL was looking over his back the whole match therefore giving Booker a big advantage. After a good amount of brawling in which Booker dominated. Booker went for a scissors kick but JBL moved out of the way. Booker stumbled back to his feet and JBL hit a huge Clothesline from Hell. Orlando Jordan finally appeared on the stage and JBL turned his attention to him.

Booker on the other hand struggled back to his feet and was ready for JBL to turn around. JBL finally turned his attention back to Booker after Orlando and him got into a shouting match. Booker hit him with a Bookend to pick up another win.

Winner: Booker T

Time: 6:52

75/78/70

After the match Orlando Jordan ran into the ring and once again started punishing JBL. Orlando Jordan has gone absolutely mad. He just beat JBL over and over again with a steel chair. He finally picked him up and started dragging him over to the top of the stage.

Orlando Jordan: Now I know all of you fans would love to see me just toss this sack of crap all the way down below. (huge pop as he teases it). BUT, I’m going to have to wait for No Mercy. Then I can inflict the ultimate pain on JBL and force him to leave and never show his face here again. (pull JBL’s head up) I want YOU JBL in a loser leaves Smackdown match at No Mercy. I’ll give you some time to think about that one.

Orlando ties one end of a rope to the titantron on the stage and then ties one end around JBL’s ankle. He ends up actually throwing JBL off but JBL is stopped just inches from the ground as the rope strings all the way out. Smackdown goes off air with JBL just hanging by his ankle.

74

Overall - 73

[The Chronic]

Velocity

September 24, 2005

Singles Match

Harley Lewis d. Juventud via Countout

After Lewis hit a crushing back breaker Juvi decided to cut his losses and roll out of the ring. He just walked casually back to the backstage area.

71/60/82

Harley Lewis gained overness from this segment

Video of Randy's return to Smackdown

84

Singles Match

Hardcore Holly d. Simon Dean via Alabama Slam

Dean was knocked out by the Alabama Slam in only 3 or 4 minutes of action.

67/63/72

Recap video of the Christian/Benoit/Birchall incident

34

Singles Match

Cruiserweight Title

Paul London d. Ken Kennedy via DQ

The match was dominated by London with him showing off a versatile set of moves. Kennedy was fed up and grabbed a chair and demolished London with it. London is struggling to his feet with a decent sized cut above his left eye from the chair shots.

68/60/76

While London is struggling to his feet, Juvi is walking down the ramp at a brisk pace. He slides into the ring and Velocity goes off the air with a heated staredown between Juvi and a bloody Paul London.

69

Overall - 56

HeaT

September 25, 2005

Singles Match

Johnny Parisi d. Matt Striker via Swing Thing

Parisi, accompanied by Rob Conway, completely dominated Striker. Parisi had a bounce in his step as if he was dancing while wrestling. Nailing the Swing Thing about 2:30 gave Parisi the easy victory.

54/42/66

Onyx and Derrick King are backstage and requested interview time. Maria is backstage with them right now.

Maria: The floor is yours...

Onyx: Lemme start by sayin that me and D-King don't play no games so all ya'll wrestlers who are going to step to us you better come for blood or you finna get yo ass knocked out. Basically what I'm tryin to say is that there ain't no wrestler, there ain't no team, and there sure as hell ain't no authority that's gonna stop me and D from takin over in this bitch. We ain't tryin to just takeover HeaT neither, we're tryin to achieve domination. Staight up and down until we get the goal we gon keep goin. We ain't tryin to hop in and hop out right quick. I'll let this be a warning to all you fake asses out there, you better get yo act together cause we the Blackstarz and we comin for ya.

Maria:....

52

Derrick King gained overness from this segment.

Onyx's turn was completed, and he is now a heel. Onyx gained overness from this turn.

Video Recap of Kurt Angle making his huge statement about his plans for the IC title.

100

Singles Match

Derrick King d. Eugene via Swinging Inverse DDT

The Blackstarz get off to a good start with Derrick King easily beating Eugene. He finished Eugene off with a swinging inverse DDT.

65/56/75

Eugene lost overness from this match.

Derrick King gained overness from this match.

Video recap of the Cena and Cena/Triple H segments

86

Backstage we see Conway doing jumpropes while Parisi is trying to decide which pair of sunglasses he's going to wear to the ring.

70

Singles Match

Rob Conway d. Tajiri via The Ego Trip

Tajiri was angry at Conway for helping Parisi secure the victory last week. Parisi set up a director's chair and sat down in it to watch Conway's match. Conway and Tajiri had a decent match, however both of these guys need to work a program with similar wrestling styles to get better results. Conway hit a belly to belly suplex and only got a 2 count. He picked up Tajiri and hit the Ego Trip which put Tajiri out for good. Parisi came into the ring after the match and they celebrated.

70/65/75

Overall - 57

SPIKE TV CANCELS HEAT FOR RISKY PRODUCT

Spike TV announced that they would no longer show WWE HeaT because the lack of willingness to comply with the requests of the Spike TV staff. As of now WWE is not going to pursue a replacement. Instead they are going to use Velocity as a show for both Raw and Smackdown development talent. There are rumors that are describing it as a possible development brand within the company.

source: Wrestling Observer

[The Chronic]

Monday Night RAW

September 26, 2005

The show opened up in Eric Bischoff’s office. The camera was to the back of a leather chair, facing Bischoff.

Mystery: You know damn well I deserve at title shot over Edge, Triple H, any of those guys. You’ve seen what I’ve done. You know that me and John could put on a great match. What you need Mr. Bischoff is to get up off of your knees and let John handle himself. He is world champ after all…

Bischoff: Well you know I was going to consider giving a title shot but after that last remark you are at the back of the line of people who I would let get in the ring with John. Plus, this title run is very fragile, one false booking or favor and we’re (him and Cena) sunk. Oh, by the way, GET THE HELL OUT…SECURITY

Mystery: Don’t flatter yourself I’m leavin right now.

The mystery man started getting up but it cut to a commercial right before you could make out who it was.

84

Coming back from the break the camera is zoomed in on Hurricane’s locker room door. There is a flier on it that says “Superhero Tryouts Here”. It looks like Hurricane is searching for another sidekick.

70

Now back in the ring for the first match of the night

Singles Match

Chris Cage vs. Chris Masters

Masters is making fun of the lightweight Cage by shoving him and watching him bounce off of the mat and jump back up. Masters picked Cage up by his tights and tossed him over the top rope. Masters posed in the ring while Cage struggled back to his feet to mount an offensive. He slid back in the ring and Masters kneed him right in the back of the head. Masters finished it off with a Masterlock which he kept his hold on past the refs bell.

Winner: Chris Masters

Time: 2:44

45/33/69

Masters was still holding on, gripping as tight as ever when the Big Show ran down into the ring. Masters let go of the hold and rolled out of the ring, exiting through the audience. Show stood at the ropes and was pointing and yelling at Masters. He then picked up Cage AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT. It looked like Show was going to take out his aggression on the youngster; he lifted him for the Showstopper but let him gently down on his feet and smiled. He patted Cage on the back and rolled out the ring to backstage.

57

Big Show lost overness from this segment

Christ Masters gained overness from this segment

The camera cut backstage once again this time it had a sneak peak into Hurricane’s dressing room. Val Venis was standing across from Hurricane who was seated behind a standard brown table, but with a Hurricane symbol on it.

Hurricane: What is your superhero name?

Val Venis: Well, haha, I was thinking this over and I thought I could be the BOA CONTSTRICTOR.

Hurricane, looking a little confused: What are your abilities?

Val Venis: Well see my specialty is in the bedroom, and—

Hurricane: Whoa Boa Constrictor, careful. You’ll get a call from the Hurricave if you’ve been chosen.

Venis had a dejected look on his face when he walked out. Hurricane just slammed his head down in the table from frustration.

73

Singles Match

Tyson Tomko vs. Tajiri

Tomko and Tajiri brawled for a couple minutes then Tomko started dominating. He hit a couple big clotheslines and elbows on Tajiri who started looking groggy. Tomko hit his spinning neckbreaker which seemingly put Tajiri out, but for good measure he picked the Japanese start off the mat again. Tomko picked up another win via knockout after he landed the Big Boot.

Winner: Tyson Tomko

Time: 5:26

62/63/75

Tajiri stumbled backstage still very drowsy almost half conscious. He then stumbled into the Superhero auditions

Hurricane: PERFECT. THE HURRICANE AND THE TSUMANI: THE PERFECT STORM. TSUNAMI, TO THE HURRICAVE.

Tajiri fell down to his knees with wide eyes. Hurricane turned around to be met by a clothesline from Rosey. Rosey hit a body slam then pounded Tajiri’s head into the brick wall and Tajiri was officially knocked out with blood coming from a cut on his head. Hurricane started getting up but walked right into Rosey’s clutches. Rosey then hit a sidewalk slam through the Hurri-table (as described by Hurricane before the start of the show). After that the ex-sidekick grunted and walked off leaving The Perfect Storm in shambles.

68

Returning from the commercial break, the camera is following Cena into Bischoff’s office. Cena slams the door and starts yelling immediately.

Cena: What the HELL was that earlier today. Dawg, you makin me look bad in front of the whole locker room. How many times do I need to tell you to get it through man, I…DON’T…NEED…YOUR…HELP. You got that Bitchoff?

Bischoff: John, I’m only looking out for us.

Cena: Hold up hold up hold up. Since when has there ever been an us? I spilt my guts out for this title dawg and you come in here and start takin credit for this. Nah, you can’t be serious. I worked too damn hard climbing the ranks to let you come in here and tell me that this is because of YOU.

Bischoff: Now let’s not start making assumptions. Do you think I would do this to my favorite wrestler if I didn’t think it was in his best interest? John, let’s face it, you aren’t ready to face the caliber of talent we have on this roster. And don’t worry I have the title match tonight figured out so there is no possible way for us to lose the most precious object in the business (The door slams as Cena stormed out).

84

Tag Match

Ric Flair/Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle/Shelton Benjamin

This match saw not only two feuds square off in this tag match but also the reuniting of Benjamin and Angle. Angle started off the match against Flair and Angle was a wrestling machine. The crowd was super hot for this match, by far the match of the night. Flair was no match for Angle’s pure skill. He had Flair in the Angle Lock already at 2:54, RVD ran in and kneed Angle in the face. This gave RVD/Flair the break they needed to take advantage. Flair crawled over to the corner and made the hot tag to RVD. RVD came in hit a big spinning heel kick on Angle, then one on Benjamin sending him out of the ring. RVD took control of the match until he climbed the turnbuckle and was setting Angle up for the Five Star, but Benjamin shoved RVD off the top rope and he went flying into the barricade. Benjamin, who still hadn’t been tagged in at this point, whipped RVD into the steel steps and then hit a belly to belly onto the steps.

He rolled RVD in and Angle signaled for the Olympic Slam but RVD somehow countered it and made a hot tag to Flair. Then Angle made a tag into Benjamin which left it at a 2 on 1 at the moment. Flair vs. Angle/Benjamin. Angle charged Flair, but Flair delivered a punch to his temple which seemed to knock him out, then Benjamin charged at Flair for his first action of the match, and he too got knocked out by the powerful right from Flair. Flair then locked in the figure four, and the team of RVD/Flair was ruled winners by submission. Flair revealed his secret to the camera, brass knuckles. He smiled as the cameras cut to commercial break in preparation of the big time title match coming up.

Winners: Rob Van Dam/Ric Flair

Time: 13:04

76/89/77

WWE Heavyweight Title

Singles Match

Edge vs. John Cena ©

Edge was standing in the ring when the champ came out to surprisingly a pretty big pop—not just kids and women either. It seems that he’s really started winning people over with his take on all challengers attitude rather than his rapper persona which many people within the company felt was too gimmicky for the future of the company.

Right when Cena was done posing and they rang the bell, “The Game” blasted over the speakers. Triple H was nowhere to be seen on stage but he slid in behind Edge with chair in hand. He clocked Edge over the head with it and Cena was DQ’d. Cena went over to Triple H with his palms to the sky wondering why Triple H felt inclined to do what he just did. You could audibly hear on the recording that Triple H said that he was only carrying out the boss’s orders. Triple H then rolled out of the ring.

Winner: Edge

Time: 0:09

76/87/81

Edge gained overness from this match.

“Whoa NOT SO FAST”

Matt Hardy appeared from the top of the ramp.

Hardy: Triple H, you come in here and walk around like you are the number one contender. You think just because you get in good with the boss that you can keep everyone else from getting a title shot. If Edge gets a shot, then I’m next in line whether you like it or not.

82

Overall - 71

Edited May 24, 2007 by The Chronic