Next Generation Wrestling

[NobBe Nobbs]

Right, it's been a while since I did one of these. First things first - the story behind it. I know that a lot of people put more emphasis on the story leading up to the first written show than they do the show, and if they want to do it that way, it's fine by me. Similarly, if you want to keep the story simple and 'make up' for it in the shows, go right ahead.

But you've got to have at least one of the two - I read the words 'Two rich-kid teenagers' and skipped ahead; it's been done so many times it's become worse to read than winning the lottery. Obviously, you're not going to be willing to change that, so let me offer you a suggestion - play off the fact that the bookers and owners are KIDS, above all. Write a little backstage segment once in a while; for example, you want NECRO FUCKING BUTCHER~! to beat JC Bailey, but Bailey changes his mind in the middle of the match and shoots on Nec simply because he resents the fact that he's taking orders from a pair of kids.

Next, the roster. This ties into my point about the fact it's a pair of kids calling the shots - why exactly would genuine independent stars like Low-Ki and Samoa Joe agree to work in a brand-new promotion, where they would almost certainly be paid less than anywhere else? Bushmeister is damned right here; no promotion anywhere in the world could possibly have a roster so chock-full of stars as yours is. Where are the Kid Kamikazes, the Pushas, the Murdas and the Retail Dragons of the world?

Onto the matches. I understand that, especially in a diary's early days, writing half-hour classics for every match is just not feasible at all, but you should make a real effort to write matches that jump out at a reader. As it is, they just look blander than a six-pack of canned porridge; even a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match with NECRO FUCKING BUTCHER~! fails to impress.

Further, the wrestlers themselves have no distinguishing characteristics. Take the Strong/Haas/Williams match, for instance. Each of the men have their own signatures and trademark spots; Strong didn't earn his 'Messiah of the Backbreaker' title for nothing, you know, throw in some backbreakers once in a while. Williams usually uses the Sharpshooter, and he also breaks out his O Canada! Tree of Woe Nutcrusher in big matches. Haas has the Haas of Pain, which is a knee and leg submission, but you had NO work on the legs of either of his opponents. What the hell's going on?

Finally, we come to my biggest, most gigantic, supernormalistic bete noire (did I use that right? Yeah, probably.) - the godawful spelling and grammar. Call me a grammar whore - I won't deny it - but in all but some very rare circumstances, a badly-written diary gets NOWHERE. You need to seriously tighten it up; run it through Word, ask someone else to proofread for you, force Bill Gates to type it for you at gunpoint, I don't care.

The Final Flash: I badly want to give this one final, crushing comment that you can put in your signature along with the postwhory replies you've been getting, but I can't think of anything else. You get a D; take the criticisms in this thread on, and fix the areas most heavily criticised. Aside from that, there's nothing else I can do.

(P.S - I'd appreciate it if I didn't get a warning for this. I realise that a warning here would be completely unjustified, but since being warned this morning for posting in the Personal Picture thread without a picture (and I don't want to risk another by explaining exactly how I feel about that), another warning would equal a banning.)

Edited December 12, 2005 by Ze

[Guest Eiji Ezaki]

I don't think that you'll get a warning when you're trying to help us, man.

[R.W.]

Bonsie'd!